Best HFY Reddit Stories: The Illusion Of Innocence

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  • Опубликовано: 8 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 72

  • @vexxen8232
    @vexxen8232 10 месяцев назад +226

    "welcome to the galactic golden age... weather you like it or not" is such a glorious quote

    • @darunealbane
      @darunealbane 10 месяцев назад +9

      Book god emperor of Dune
      The golden path .. 10,000 yrs of enforced peace

    • @jonathanknoche6371
      @jonathanknoche6371 10 месяцев назад

      We are gonna free the hell out of those aliens if we have to kill everyone in the galaxy to do it 😅

    • @SpartanNnja
      @SpartanNnja 8 месяцев назад

      Democracy is non-negotiable.

  • @dalemorgan8263
    @dalemorgan8263 10 месяцев назад +152

    Sounds like a Stellaris playthrough where humanity plays isolationist and tall before flipping the blitzkrieg "full 'fuck you' mode" switch.

    • @mbos14
      @mbos14 10 месяцев назад +15

      Sounds like my pacifist megacorp. Its time for some market restructering.

    • @HarenunHoppus
      @HarenunHoppus 10 месяцев назад +18

      Arent some stellaris playthroughs an hfy story all on its own?

    • @Darlf_Sevil
      @Darlf_Sevil Месяц назад

      @@HarenunHoppus well yes it literaly self writing story like that one:
      I like big galaxies, but my processor doesn't like big population in the game and I don't like xenophobic approach of extermination as war with lag, So I have prepared 5 empires which are optimized killers which allows me to use max empires in the game and maintain balance, unfortunately my plantoids appeared close to 3 exterminators including one which I didn't create, and another empire vassalized me. Fortunately, the origin of my race meant that space fauna could feed in space gardens of our stations and transfer seeds from which new colonies will grow.
      It worked normally, although one Tianka did not want to give its seed anywhere, after a decade the war began, the exterminator eliminated one of my neighbors and attacked me and my sovereign withdrew all fleets ignoring the resources I gave him, SUDDENLY ON THE OTHER END OF THE GALAXY I GOT A MESSAGE, one stubborn Tianka carried the seed to the other end of the galaxy, I quickly activated the stimulating subspace impulse to start developing colonies, construction ships, research ships, single corvettes maneuvering the enemy fleet until destruction, we threw everything we could to slow down the extermination fleets, transferring populations from planet to planet, and in recent days I managed to transfer 1/3 of the population to the newly created colony with the remaining resources when the rest of my empire fell along with 2 worlds transformed into beautiful Gaian worlds. I declared war on the sovereign but due to the distance he could not do anything and had to defend himself from the exterminators, eventually the ceasefire status gave me back my freedom and my empire began to accept other races to rebuild the population, extermination in the galaxy led by 9 ... yes 9 murderous empires meant that there were a lot of refugees, eventually my empire grew thanks to my Gaian worlds (Gaian worlds are 100% habitable for any race), colonies and outposts in the entire galaxy developed until our new scientific federation became powerful, we built space gates everywhere in the galaxy, and although you can only make them on your own territory, through seeds I had territories everywhere, in a few years we overthrew 6 exterminators that still existed, my old sovereign overthrew 2 of them and occupied my old worlds, we conquered it and thanks to the newly found BAOLI relic I was able to restore the entire the ancient extinct race of baoli, plantoids like me capable of creating gaian worlds once a peaceful hive mind now a single pacifist empire that absorbed a significant part of my vassal's territory and 2 gaian planets that I gave them as capitals and the first industrial hub, like me there were a few baoli, only 4 free populations every 10 years and slow natural increase when at that stage the empires had hundreds of pops, and like me the baoli accepted everyone becoming the second strongest empire and over time by pure coincidence all the top 10 empires in 31 empires were peaceful plants. fun fact i start on 30 empires and like almost no worlds, but due to things we where able to made few new empire by splitting and few other empires where created by other things, probady only half of us where here from start dueo to 9 exterminators

    • @Darlf_Sevil
      @Darlf_Sevil Месяц назад

      putting it into proper words by someone who speaks English natively or at least well (google has problems translating from Polish and I don't know that many words)
      to polish the story and there would be a book XD

  • @jakeand9020
    @jakeand9020 10 месяцев назад +195

    "starting with the children"
    And thus their fate was sealed.

  • @taitano12
    @taitano12 10 месяцев назад +89

    So we're the Elder Species? It's like like telling a room full of your children to stop fighting and hurting the baby, but one punches you in the nuts instead. So you grab the wooden spoon. "ARRIGHT, YA WANT A FIGHT!? I'LL SHOW YOU A FIGHT!!"

    • @ryanpiercy3390
      @ryanpiercy3390 10 месяцев назад +12

      the funny thing is, wielding the spoon makes their blows less harmful.

    • @HubiKoshi
      @HubiKoshi 9 месяцев назад +7

      Humanity took off its chankla and went "Okay."

    • @mugenokami2201
      @mugenokami2201 9 месяцев назад +2

      Basically the church scene from kings men or general Slayer behavior?

  • @valtiel2589
    @valtiel2589 10 месяцев назад +240

    thank you for narrating one of my silly scribblings :)

    • @geoshark12
      @geoshark12 10 месяцев назад +4

      While not my favourite flavour of hfy , its written well

    • @leonievanheerden7090
      @leonievanheerden7090 10 месяцев назад +7

      Thank you for your stories, they're interesting and entertaining and much appreciated

    • @dalemorgan8263
      @dalemorgan8263 10 месяцев назад +3

      Good stuff, sounded like a really fun Stellaris game.

    • @paytonkraft7564
      @paytonkraft7564 10 месяцев назад +1

      This is neither a scribbling nor silly. Bravo my friend.

    • @danielstellmon5330
      @danielstellmon5330 10 месяцев назад

      Thank you for being brave enough to share.

  • @snidecommenter7117
    @snidecommenter7117 10 месяцев назад +44

    A saying a friend gave me comes to mind.
    "I tried nice. You don't understand nice. Now I'm being a jerk. If I have to, I'll get downright ignorant."

  • @lumberluc
    @lumberluc 10 месяцев назад +87

    I would like to repeat what Thor said to Thanos, "What did you do? WHAT DID YOU DO!?"
    Yeah, we don't take kindly to those that threaten our friends or our children.

    • @Kez_DXX
      @Kez_DXX 10 месяцев назад +6

      "We're playing by your rules, now. Isn't that what y'all wanted?"

  • @Rawkit_Surgeon
    @Rawkit_Surgeon 10 месяцев назад +82

    We didn't know how much it would take to takedown the entire galaxy so we went for overkill just to make sure.

  • @Enderborn272
    @Enderborn272 10 месяцев назад +39

    Edge and overkill but I do quite like the idea of using space hulks as orbital strike ammo. Just, "hey, you forgot this" then dropping a Chernobyl on them from orbit.

  • @mondiramaji791
    @mondiramaji791 10 месяцев назад +25

    You know they’re fucked when as a human you can feel your own eyes widen upon hearing “we’ll start with your children”.

    • @Have_some_plasma
      @Have_some_plasma 7 месяцев назад +6

      This is literally the ONE SINGULAR RAKE in this field that had a nuke on its tip and they JUMPED on it.

  • @Iluvantir
    @Iluvantir 10 месяцев назад +70

    "Time to make the galaxy grow up."
    "You're the youngest race!! We're your elders!!"
    "You don't act like it... so we have to."

  • @Sanquinity
    @Sanquinity 9 месяцев назад +12

    Don't poke every new thing you find like an immature child, for what you poke might just be a ferocious beast that can poke back, several times harder.

  • @wrathshorts2894
    @wrathshorts2894 10 месяцев назад +15

    When the small kid you decided to bully turns out to be an eldritch horror.

  • @ericlestick7325
    @ericlestick7325 10 месяцев назад +16

    Dude, I love your voice.
    Thanks for having such a large collection of work.

  • @norneaernourn8240
    @norneaernourn8240 8 месяцев назад +6

    Never pick a fight with people that pull their chairs closer and order more beer when a brawl breaks out.
    - Napoleon

  • @KuDastardly
    @KuDastardly 10 месяцев назад +10

    _"Don't hurt their children"_ Well that explains everything, lol.

  • @denifnaf5874
    @denifnaf5874 10 месяцев назад +32

    I see
    The humans are speedrunning spore

  • @CodexisInkwind
    @CodexisInkwind 10 месяцев назад +5

    This is the equivalent of thinking the fairly lanky guy is a pushover, only to realize hes a pro mma fighter once you take a swing at him

  • @leonievanheerden7090
    @leonievanheerden7090 10 месяцев назад +11

    For the narrator, the author and the strangely intelligent algorithm 💐⭐⭐💐

  • @Darkinu2
    @Darkinu2 8 месяцев назад +4

    "We'll start with your children "
    Oh, you didn't just sign your death warrant, you provided a return address.

  • @month32
    @month32 10 месяцев назад +11

    The United Government of Earth, UGE for short, was in session. The fleet had been sent to the Proxima 1 system, waiting orders from the executive branch on the way they should approach the foe that had been able to oust the local defense force. The vote has been cast twice over, always ending the same way.... 40 in favor of total destruction of the enemy fleet, 40 in favor of another attempt at diplomacy (not that the Xenos were quite interested in that, but one could only hope!) and 41 abstaining from the vote for various reasons. Even now the chairman could see the political maneuvering amongst the delegates, trying to find a better way to advance their "nations". Nations... Earth had done away with nations years ago, on paper at least. You could still tell who was a Slovak, an Iranian, an Indian... And let us not talk about the Chinese! He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and pounded his gavel down hard. His aid had told him that a gavel was too old fashion even for him. He told her to mind her own damned business. The rules never said anything that it was not allowed.
    -ORDER! I say, ORDER! Please, ladies and gentlemen, there is no need for name calling, cries of people being traitors, cowards or any kind of profiteer!
    As if they were not all of those things all of them, he thought, hiding his smirk. He opened his mouth to speak again when he was notified that Admiral Leana Yi was sending a communications clip that was sent by the alien species. He grimaced, that was all that he needed to complicate things. With three more powerful strikes of his gavel he calmed the delegates down enough. He nodded and the sound technician played Toris Van Olden's message to the colony...
    As things go, the message made matters quite a lot less complicated. The stunned faces of everyone in the room and the video conference feeds told the story. A delegate from the southern America stood up and she uttered the fateful words that would lead the galaxy into a golden age.
    -I propose the motion that we should make certain that the galaxy will be a place that will be safe for our children and our children's children.
    In all his days as a chairman of the UGE, he could never recall once that a resolution was passed so fast... or so unopposed. 120 in favor and one abstaining. And the one that abstained was due to the man suffering a heart attack when he heard the message.

  • @clowdklerk321
    @clowdklerk321 10 месяцев назад +10

    Great! Thanks!

  • @victortahlor4038
    @victortahlor4038 10 месяцев назад +2

    Thank you for the reading

  • @goddragon8637
    @goddragon8637 10 месяцев назад +2

    There is no better definition of fuck around and find out then this😂

  • @scotthinger6397
    @scotthinger6397 10 месяцев назад +5

    This is what happens when you FAFO!

    • @TheSolidSnakeOil
      @TheSolidSnakeOil 8 месяцев назад +1

      Fucking around is easy. The finding out... Well, if you survive that part, count yourself amongst the lucky few.

    • @scotthinger6397
      @scotthinger6397 8 месяцев назад

      @@TheSolidSnakeOil You got that right!!

  • @alanszablewski3383
    @alanszablewski3383 10 месяцев назад +10

    Fix the "Just One Drop" story

  • @SiegeTF
    @SiegeTF 10 месяцев назад +1

    Yes, yes, degrees of guilt and all that.

  • @StephenCampbell-yy2xc
    @StephenCampbell-yy2xc 9 дней назад

    I wish humans were that cool

  • @dj82020
    @dj82020 10 месяцев назад +1

    Imperium of Man or Halo UNSC.......choose wisely Galactic Neighbors

  • @Anamnesis010
    @Anamnesis010 3 месяца назад

    Nice.

  • @month32
    @month32 10 месяцев назад

    4:35 It was at this moment he knew... he fucked up.

  • @buwayayay1502
    @buwayayay1502 10 месяцев назад +3

    I am here

  • @laughingman7882
    @laughingman7882 9 месяцев назад

    Space America 😂😂😂

  • @johnnyrotten3175
    @johnnyrotten3175 10 месяцев назад +1

    👏👏👏👏

  • @Rose_Harmonic
    @Rose_Harmonic 10 месяцев назад +2

    Hegemony is pronounced with a soft G, like in George.

  • @clausroquefort8726
    @clausroquefort8726 10 месяцев назад +5

    unneccessarily edgy.
    don't just glass all the planets, bruh

    • @mugenokami2201
      @mugenokami2201 9 месяцев назад

      You must not be human then huh?

    • @Kitsune10060
      @Kitsune10060 5 месяцев назад

      @@mugenokami2201 not a fan of glassing worlds ether tbh.
      Planet CRACKING on the other hand, or causing that systems star to go Nova, THAT sends a fucking message.