@@jz1612No .. I’m recently married and we dated for a few years …. If he had done this we wouldn’t be married . I have standards … I agree from all of my years of dating than men who genuinely like you don’t do this. If it’s a tactic … oh well … ✌🏽 … it’s mistreatment
They only ghost people they don't like. Think about it, if you loved someone and were really interested in them, would you ghost them? No. You wouldn't give anyone else the opportunity to have a shot with the one you truly like. Not everyone is meant to stay in our lives, and it takes two to put in the effort.
I like an attentive person., who isn't afraid to show encouragement and interest. Someone who accepts you and likes you and who isn't just pointing out flaws but likes. As a teacher,, you never just point out flaws, but also good things.
I think the most common is that they liked you in the first place simply because they had an illusion of you, then something happened that changed their opinion. They don't want to tell you, so they just disappear. Ghosting is the most convenient way to end communication.
There are enough with toxic guys who think women are like a bank , asking about money for anything they need , cause they assume im a rich woman , its so bad of them
@@margaretahogberg6869that’s terrible, please do not give anyone your hard earned money. I get the opposite, just today a man I was talking to that I’m suppose to go on a date. Txt me a pic of thousands of dollars. Out of the blue. Said pay day with emoji. Like this is not going to make me want you more, maybe for some women it will. It actually was a turn off. He said I have to pay my workers with this. He doesn’t need to show me that. Only been a week also that I been chatting with him.
Whats if the dead still calling everyday or other day? What do you do? I asked this because i dated a guy and now he dont invite me out he only call every day just one time....i just let him call i answer sometimes.. i not a cold person i just treat others the way i would like to be! But to be honest i rather he just dont call.
This is *intermittent reinforcement. That's what keeps you hooked. (Google it.) If you stop picking up when he calls he'll most likely start calling you a lot. (*Extinction Burst.) It sounds like you don't want this. Good. Stay strong and ignore him. Eventually, he'll probably find someone else to bother. If he starts threatening you, because sometimes that happens when they are ignored, protect yourself. *These are behavioral principles. Please come back to let us know how you're doing. Wishing you the best! ❤
When a guy gaslights u, ur not his priority, he's not making any effort to connect, so his words don't fit his actions. If he really wants to b w/ u, he'll make time for u, if he can't even return a tx , (it takes 5 sec. To return a tx) ur not a priority. He's not scared he's not the one. Make him not ur priority he doesn't have time for u, don't have time for him
@@biserattedros6992depends what else they are doing.. if it takes days to reply..they are not interested and just have them as friends, when you are free.
I have had many like this. You can tell the difference when a man really wants you in his life or just for some fun times. Once I see all they talk about is my looks, not asking me sincere questions about my life to get to know Me, all surface level. Yet say they want a relationship and not sex… umm blah blah. I’m left with asking all the get to know you question, even have the nerve to ask for pics when I barely know them. You know what I do? I tease them through txting, flirting, then they think I’m going to see them, it drives them crazy hahaha and then I let it fizzle out. Men like that don’t deserve me. They should be looking at porn or hire a call girl.
@imvivi sick in their heads narcs! Demented much? Self-hatred is real, especially black males treat white who good and brown queens badly, like they think the white male thinks great of them. They just look at them as the dumbest ones males on the planet.🙄
@@PuppyHeaven-k5k not true! My husband ghosted me and then came back after a few weeks for forgiveness we moved in together, married and 15 years together now, his reason was that he lost his job, and he is the kind of men that like to invest in his date, even though I said I didn’t care he felt he won’t be a good partner to me. He reconsidered and came back to me.
I disagree. Sometimes men ghost to see what reaction a woman will have. The tell tale is when he comes back and stops the behavior because she's too smart to respond to that. Then he stops, and tries another tactic. It comes from his not knowing how she feels, as Stephan said. I have seen a man stop all of his manipulative tactics, once he is certain she cares.
Women should not ask a man “what are we…where do we stand” or any version of that. Men do not need help pursuing women they actually want. The power a woman holds is to limit access to her time and energy. She also holds the power to walk away once she feels enough time has elapsed.
Exactly. I could teach a masterclass on this one. Don't ask questions you already know the answer to. Respect & love yourself enough to get off the amusement park ride🎡 Then DON'T get on anymore rides until you know your value & the next one is worth your time👑
A lot of women stay with a man who isn't treating them well because they keep hoping he will go back to the way he was when she fell in love with him. Most of us hate being treated badly. We're not turned on to it in the least. And we don't like emotional unavailability or avoidance. All we want is to be loved properly.
I learned the hard, painful way to not get involved with someone who is even in the PROCESS of divorce. Having gone through a divorce myself, I know how emotionally messy it is, and trying to start a new relationship at the same time is often a recipe for disaster--for both parties. You can even have met the perfect person for you, but because of your head and heart space and the timing, you might toss them out and perhaps live to regret it big time later. Powerful episode! Thank you, Lisa 💖
@@Aimee03110 It sounds to me that you were self-aware and honest with him. You did the right thing in my opinion. What I wish I had done, but didn't know better at the time, was to tell the person to contact me after their divorce was final if they were still interested, and then we could see where things went from there. Maybe you could ask him if he would be open to this?
The problem is that people need to start asking better questions from the get-go so one can discern that everyone is on the same page for their needs, wants, and expectations.
Uh-uh. "If he pulls away," I'm done. I have no time for a man that isn't sure of my worth. Sisters of the world, please listen to me on this and repeat after me: *This is not Build-A-Bro. I am not a repair shop for broken toys.* A man that values you will never risk letting you slip away by making you confused.
My two closest friends are married for almost ten years. Before that, he was supposed to see her and he ghosted her. A few months later when they reconnected, he admitted he did it because of his own personal reasons. We probably would have told her she's crazy giving a chance for how hurt she was, but his reason was here to accept and not ours. Then followed through on meeting. Now married, I'm so grateful they took another chance. Even if it is a not interested in the person, that's still a reflection of himself.
@@MissMcFluffyStuffyeah some guys do that cause they are insecure, they don’t realize they hurt people, and then there’s forgiveness the ultimate love test, however you can’t let him take love for granted and let someone mistreat you forever, there has to be repentance and a change of behavior from the other part. But I believe in love too 🤞
This is the Realest advice I have ever heard especially in todays dating world. Alot of narcissist out there playing all kinds of games I've never even heard of. Dating is so different now. It's kind of scary to love again.But thanks for this. It's very informative knowledge.
This is exactly why I pulled out of the game. Because that's exactly what it is. Since I don't play games I reconciled with myself that I'm much happier single and can enjoy and live in peace.
I honestly think manipulative people have always been in the dating world it's just no one talked about it. Oftentimes, narrcisstic people would be open to be in long-term committed relationships that damaged their partners. I am hoping that with knowledge, people will go into the dating world with discernment.
@@inettawalker9387 they were there all along when you were younger and you rejected them. But don't worry dear, you look better as you age. Crow's Feet and a ton of make-up will help you find the right guy.
I realized that he thought and told me I am very attractive, which I think is shallow. He either became bored or upset by things. I held him into account. And once that happened, I was no longer attractive inside or out like he used to say that I was. It’s all gone. It’s like Elvis left the building.
YEP. I've been here. Classic narcissistc tendencies. Love bombed by all these compliments, that meant NOTHING to me. When I started holdimg him accountable, it was TOO burdensome😂...Needless to say, I put my sneakers on & got gone😂
Sometimes communication is what is needed. Most men just draw up conclusions based on their assumptions. Nonetheless, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship. There are no formulas to these things. What works for Adam might not work for peter. I However learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago my wife and I were on the brink of a divorce because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it..
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things...
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.!
This story was told well , because it tells the journey after a women leaves the narcissi . Learning about the self but lots of other people and family. Learning your power and strength back. Building confidence like the phoenix being reborn again
A partner can say or do something that may hurt you - if you call them on it , or find it’s only or mostly you being disrespected, if not mature enough to communicate with you and answer your concerns or questions as to how this impacts you, it does not bode well, as to me indicates no true relationship. Nothing else matters. Nothing can or will improve without honest open communication.
Honestly I have ghosted men as well. It’s just I was no longer interested in him for various reasons. So when I tell them what my standards and boundaries they are not welling to expect this from me. So when they don’t listen and tries to get me to change my mind. I just ghosted them or deleted or blocked them.
Folks need to understand that there is no cookie-cutter explanation on men (or women for that matter) and their behavior. We are human. All men are different and will do things the way they believe they should. Stephan's breakdown of information is wonderful as a template to determine what kind of man you're dealing with and how to move accordingly if it is or is not the man we desire to be with. We as women cannot continue to assume that all men will or do behave the same way, or even that all men are bad/mean us harm. That's toxic thinking and gets us nowhere.
Sorry...most men are the same. Those that are truly different are far, few & between. Most are use to manipulating to get what they want & women & overall gemerational TOXIC THINKING & TEACHING have made it TOO EASY. It's Waaaay more manipulative men looking out for their own interest vs looking for a partner to grow with.
Yes that manipulation of telling you you’re special, beautiful or whatever, and I’m sure many other men are interested yet here I am treating you like you’re nothing special. other men would feel lucky to have you. Like they want to bait you into trying to make them want you. You see later when you walk away they won’t leave you alone. The childish games of a manipulating gaslighter are so transparent once you know how to see it.
1:00 THIS!! it's not the bad treatment that made me stay it was the high desire of HIM, that I wanted him that made me stay DESPITE how disrespectful he was being towards me later on.
It crazy how I came across this awesome video ❤❤❤I been in a SEXUAL SITUATION SHIPwith a guy for years. Finally said decues. It’s been a month blocked and no contact. I always walk away from meaningless relationships but it takes me forever. But when I walk away I never look back. I’m not sad at all and it’s always the best decision to walk away from a man that doesn’t value you.best peace ever.
Mine was this but working towards a relationship. He was making changes and I wasn't pressuring him. We laid the terms and guidelines so We'd both be on the same page. He betrayed me in the end and if he had apologized for mislaying/breaking my trust, diminishing our relationship and just making excuses and the best for last, putting all the blame on me, I would have been his friend in a few months but now I don't even wanna see his face. I hung up in his face while he was talking ( never hung up on him) and instantly blicked him. It sucks because I was all in and gave him all my trust, now I'm back to square 1.
If a high value man does not find a compatible ideal counterpart, he will not pursue a relationship with just any woman. A woman who is highly valued is not what most people believe. The fact is, high value men don't choose women by just looks. Women waste a lot of time and money on pursuing external beauty. Men who don't have high standards or values will pursue the woman with the external appearances, not concerning themselves with reality or genuine qualities.
@@NatzTalk Healing is a process. Some people Jesus healed immediately. Some have to be healed as you follow Christ instructions like the 10 lepers. Nine got healed walking on their way to the priest and the one that came back was made whole. As Jesus was healing me, it took years of tears and deliverance but I kept coming back. When you place your heart back in Jesus hands and not a man’s, it won’t get broken again. I know this from experience. Trust God again first because he didn’t break your heart. It gets better. God is love. Don’t give up on love. ❤️
Ladies, never trust a man who only gave you 100% attitude and 0% gratitude!!! If you have to show him your worth, then he doesn't deserve to see it 😏! Most of the time "you can't smell the ish until you step in it 😝"!...where is the funky face emoji 🤭! In essence, too many men camouflage their true intent so it makes it easy for them to trick and be slick with many women. If he mistreated you from the beginning then, he will display the same mistreatment everytime you open the door for him to do so!!! Ladies, love yourself far more than you love him. Until he earns your love, respect, honor, trust etc, then simply DO NOT give it to him because there is a price tag and an expiration date on your love level. True love is earned and can never just be freely and casually given to Mr. Undeserving!!!
Well said Sherry. I gained my knowledge through experience. I was love bombed as a young adult and married a narcissist who like Putin predates and plans revenge till his death. I am educated. I do not have a personality of a victim, but even then, ufff narcs are cancer. Till this day he hates, and tries to control by dangling child support or using my daughter to ruin my dating or … the list is long. I had recently chose to date a divorce, peer (I am 44 he is 46, we are both accountants). He got divorced within a year. We both raise children, I a small son, he a bit older two sons. Well, long story short I found myself boxed into a convenient relationship. He spent weekends with family, met with me on Wednesdays, after work in my home with sleepover with no prospect of any different. His income was good, provider, his family taken care of, he went on parties with kids, as for me, Wednesday nights was his version of being respectful towards my busy schedule. After two nights (I do not stick around long), I objected, he told me that the relationship might not be right and ended it. I accepted the end and moved on. He then two weeks later dumped the car liners I gifted him in front of my car to remind me of himself. He then asked for a conversation because he ended through text and we set up a meeting. We met in a public place, Panera, where he wanted to make himself feel right and convince me that he had reasons to do what he did. I tried telling him how I felt, to which he said that he felt threatened and that when I said that I did not feel I could tell him things that it was hurtful to him. To me his listening was as good as talking to the wall. My chicken died, he did not comfort me. My computer broke he listened like a wall. My narc ex took child support and took me to custody court because I was dating, 10 years after my divorce, and he stayed calm, even said it was concerning what he was hearing. This my dear what emotionally unavailable recently divorced man feels like. He wants to be understood and gets concerned when you bring up things that bother you or you find uncomfortable, and likes boxing you into a convenient sexy time fed by listening like a wall (skill he prides himself in). My meeting felt like a boss telling me the employee where I made mistakes in a very reserved way. I thanked him for his explanation, wished him well and walked out. I am experienced. Lesson, if men separate sharply or leave, let them. Do not try to bring them back. They will come back and prove to you who they are, and the time off will help you gain detachment and clarity. Sad. Hope it was timing issue and not why wife divorced him as well, with three kids. But he never learned his lesson. As soon as he heard of my narc’s actions, he blamed all on my traumas and his lack of experience with it. I got therapy and had 10 years to heal. I was trained as a PA originally and had experience working with people and training in psychology and psychiatry. He did not know it. So, yeah… when you date divorces, make sure they have gratitude like Sherry said and are able to be vulnerable and put in some resources like time, activities, money and so into you. Tell them a sad story, a negative story, start an argument and see if they will be self focused, me me me, my pain, my feeling, and you, you need to wait as he is forming his feelings ok, and have your vagina readily available.
I don’t think ghosting is a narcissistic behavior. I’ve ghosted men that are argumentative during a healthy debate, wants to talk about how freaky they are, don’t have good paying jobs, etc. They are ghosted cause we’re not at the stage of a relationship where I need to say more other than never call them back.
@@WWlogics if you're ghosting people because of their nasty behaviors is acceptable, however, if anyone ghosting someone (esp.a good person) without valid reasons is one of the signs of a narcissistic behavior.
We all have our gut instincts and must learn to identify the first red flag. They're always there. Thank goodness I am not in the dating pool today. Ahhh, no, thank you. Great post 🙌🏻🫂❤️
When someone is interested, they will make the effort. Reciprocity and consistency in words and action. Believe what you see in the way they behave. Know your worth. If your bff was being treated this way, would you condone it?
This is where the boundaries are to be crystal clear! Where your whole body is telling them no, I am not okay with this. Where you think they will treat you how you treat them, no that's just not the case. You must go over the line in the sand of what you won't tolerate and what is acceptable to you. You can be nice when you say this, but firm. If it's not okay, the best way is to show in your body language, and put your hand up, or stand up and if they don't get it, or don't like it just walk away. No bullshit!🤨 Deep down you already know the answer, don't lie to yourself...
Yes! Being vulnerable does mean you are ready for love. Men (I've dated) are always amazed at how vulnerable I am when dating. They, however, are Not. This equals the wrong guy for me!
Thank you. This is so true and liberating for the Christian community and all people. Speak the truth in love. Mold, not manipulate people. Accept people as they are if you want to love truly. Give grace as you will need it also. ❤
I have always loved that fabulous quote by Judge Lynn Toler (Divorce Ct.)..... "Ladies, never let a man tell you more than once.. .that he doesn't want you!" Damn right!!!!!
Wait a minute now. So I was seeing this guy and he said he didn't want something casual but he didn't know what he wanted (context he had been cheated on and was single for 4 years) and I wanted to take things slowly but wanted a relationship eventually but slowly for both of us. He said he didn't want to hurt me emotionally or mentally and wouldn't otherwise either. When I was with him sometimes it was good, other times I felt lonely even if he was opposite me. I remember saying im happy to take initiative but i also like a guy to take some too,he said he prefer for a woman too as he wasnt good at it. He wasn't a good communicator and I like to msg and see eachother hang out get to know someone and have a mixture of conversation. I guess he was scarred though I did say I'm not like that if something was to happen we would be mature and discuss it and try to work through it or respectfully wish eachother well and part ways if it wasnt fixable .... I respect whoever I'm with. He seemed more interested in my physicality which is not essential to me as much though I know it's important to men in general. I remember watching Matthew on one of these episodes and him saying ask how the person feels when they are around you, and i did and he said he felt safe. I asked if he was scared of me he said no he was scared of himself. I tried to understand and say if he did or didn't want to talk to communicate and i would know to give him space or help if he asked. But i guess it was bad timing or my standards were too high for him, though i spoke to friends and they said they were simple things like communication via msg as i stammer so phone scares me and he knew that, being kind and caring as a person (more a quality), finding time to meet up even if its once a week (I lived in NW London and would travel to West Croydon to see him but he never came up to see me but would find time to come to NW to see friends) go out on a simple date, rather go for a walk in the park or bowling then sit in a fancy restaurant and be uncomfortable. I offered to go on dates and he didnt show any interest or his interest was to do something he wantwd which entailed being physical in some way or hanging out.... So nothing came of it I sent him a msg and never heard back so I left it at that. Though I did like him alot and he liked me but I guess I wasn't enough of what he wanted at that moment Though on the flip side I have been in an experience which lasted a long time with someone who was alot older then me and we had an undeniable connection and respect and though timing was not there as he was older etc we both were mature and knew the end could never be what we wanted so we cherished the moments we had and enjoyed eachother, fell deeply in love and had love for eachother, had deep conversations, he was very gentle and passionate in private physically, told eachother about our lives and he gave me the safe space to be vulnerable, I could cry infront of him and get angry or be moody or be sexually free or happy or concerned and talk about my fears, he always said I want someone to see you for the wonderful woman you are and cherish being with you, even when your stubborn haha he used to love me being stubborn as i could hold my truth and knew that the softness was protected by strength ..... I don't think I will find a love like I had for the older gent but it would just be different. so I guess it depends on the man. Hope one day I find the right person for me and if not I'm ok with that and will have my rabbits and dog to love. I'm simple ❤
@lf3554 yh me too one day because as much as I like my own company and being independent I'm also wanting to find someone if that is at all possible! Hope the same for you if that's what your wanting too
@@nicolescott89 The key is its very important NOT to make it your main focus on finding some one. It will make you miserable treat it lightly spend time to educate yourself on how to fate correctlt here on YT adress any issues u may have and if that person does not worship the ground you walk on its a no go!
@lf3554 yh I have my own plans on life and they don't have a man in them at all so I'm good for that but it does get lonely sometimes. But I fill my life with things I love. Doesn't mean I don't want to share my love with someone at times but everything in its time and turn I know ❤️
In my experience a guy who texts too much is someone controlling and insecure. It's a red flag for abuse I feel, especially when he doesn't respect that you are working or out with others and he knows that yet won't quit blowing up your cell. Mobile phones have turned into stalking devices and I've dated several men with big double standards, like if I take a nap and miss his call and don't respond within half an hour then I get accused of "sleeping with someone else" yet the man sees nothing wrong with taking 3 days to get back to me.
He texted/called everyday. Great conversationalist, and then suddenly stopped responding to my text/calls. Reached out to him via email , and he stated that he need to step back, don't need to talk everyday, need some me time and stated that I should do the same too. 2 1/2 years wasted . Peace out!!!
@shellydegraffinreed9096 Ugh, I'm sorry. I've had so many ghosters too. A lot of them disappeared as soon as I tried to take ongoing sexual or romantic contact into a relationship. There are a lot of people who simply enjoy the "thrill of the chase."
Watching his videos make me extremely hopeless about ever finding value in a relationship. Too many games being played, too many contradictions. Too much! I check out the game!
I am glad a Christian’s opinion and insights can be put forward. I would agree the most important relationship would be with God who can love you the most. ❤️
Girl. Wake thecheck uo .u can NOT date GOD nor make love to GOD. Folk, like you rhar are si called Chrustian, remain interesting to me and so msny others. Wjen is the last time you hugged your child, gave $ to someone tga did not adk, gricery shopped fir tge ekderly, smiled qhen someine friwned at you, not gossiped about an innocent oerson amd finally, saud simething NICE and Non judgemental about a friend. Grow thechell uo, Sis amd onstead of makeung everything a quote about GOD, hinestky refkect upo my pastoral self look questions and oray to the MASTER to asist your spieit. Best to you, Sis!❤
This guy acted interested in me and told me that if I need help with my car or whatever you know he could help me for free. I told him aww thanks thats good you know how to work on cars my car is already at the shop. The next day I texted him hey how is your day going and he completely ghosted me
I love this whole segment!!!! Stephan has always bring me clarity. People will have you out here thinking you’re crazy or portray you as paranoid. He brings it bring it brick by brick 💪🏽🫶🏽
Where do I find someone with your knowing of a woman. Such depth of wisdom. It's so beautiful to hear a man be able to not only be so honest about men, yet also understand us. ❤
Ladies, the only power you have is to let them leave and leave yourself. So leave all men who do not provide, protect, respect and commit. Buy buy. Buy buy buy. Need more women speakers please!
If you find your partner stopped talking and being so open it could be something you have said to him not realizing that it was hurtful to them I just found out I had said something that hurt there feelings and that's what stopped him from talking to me about things he was going through all you can do is apologize and explain and tell them sorry for what ever it was and work on how you say things and working on your self will help a lot
Stephan Speaka is the best on the topic of spiritual connections on a divine partnership level. I am so grateful for this video. Thank you so much! It validates my current relationship. It unexpectedly appeared after a divorce and being single for 7 years of spiritual healing and transformation. This video is mind blowing. 🤯 ❤
I really love how Dinah Jane expressing how she feels. I have been through the same thing for 8 years with a someone who is a narcissist. I am glad to see her growing stronger. Never hate and take it as a lesson we have learnt to be stronger. Without this happening I guess we wouldn’t even know we can be more.
I totally disagree. He said they split up two years ago, but she was still living there. Granted, she was moving out within two months but honesty would’ve gone much further. So basically, he lied by omission. And then when I found out the rest of his history, not his first cheat. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
Love Stephan! I have his books🥰 so excited for this episode, also your interview skills are always so admirable, can learn so much from you in how you always try to see every perspective and the ways in which you explore the conversation in depth❤ amazing work as always Lisa
I've learned to love and value the company of safe men. I was not raised by one, so there was work I had to do. If you do not fit the criteria, your access will be denied.
Was married to an ambitious man for 32 years He was always too busy forgot bdays and anything special was always late and the deal breaker when confronted and I expressed my problem with his lack of presence….” I’ll get to you when I’m ready “ 32 years and done
"The outside world cannot verify what you know inside." This is why I'm selective as to whose advice I take. Other people cant see the full picture so they will advise to the extent that they can see, relate and understand. You know best, sometimes.
This is a very thoughtful discussion. You always talk about prayer and asking a higher being for guidance. There is a balance between not passing over the person for you and recognizing the one who is not. I think you are right that rules alone aren't the method to ascertain this answer.
He's speaking 🗣️ for himself and immature men. He can't speak for the man God has for Me. ❤ And then I listened until the end 😂🤣... He's right about so many things he said. Thank You ❤Lisa!
Dang he is talking about some real truths. The fact that people are so desperate not to be alone they marry for the image of it, not because they are truly connected and have what it takes to have true intimacy. People care about looks doesn’t matter if it’s fake or not. People were counterfeit fashion. Get fake lips. Fake they lost weight with drugs or surgery. And fake a perfect relationship online while the actual home is chaos. Only the rare ones put in the work to have something REAL.
Simple answer to the title. "When he pulls away, let him go."
And I let him go with the quickness and sent him a book to help with his healing
@@kenyadaposey3907 The good samaritan 😄
Let it be. I have learned to Pace myself to his lead. It just works out better for me that way.
but it's not simple
"It's a TACTIC" 2:00
I am done with games and manipulation. I don’t want a man that “pulls away” or ghost me.
You're giving them what they want though lol.
Smart! 💓
Let's be honest if a man gave you the attention that you want without pulling away you would lose interest?
@@jz1612No .. I’m recently married and we dated for a few years …. If he had done this we wouldn’t be married . I have standards … I agree from all of my years of dating than men who genuinely like you don’t do this. If it’s a tactic … oh well … ✌🏽 … it’s mistreatment
Chosing the wrong man helps you choose the right man
"Rejection is God's protection." Unknown
facts
Daaamn! God really must love me then! 🥴 lol
Amen
Powerful point 👏🏽
So true..
"A lot of people have learned to cope and manage, not to fully heal". This guy is dropping truth bombs like there's no tomorrow!
Exactly. Ppl don't take time & heal. Society has bombarded us with the ideal "to get over some1, get under some1 else"😤🤷🏽♀️🙏🏽
They only ghost people they don't like. Think about it, if you loved someone and were really interested in them, would you ghost them? No. You wouldn't give anyone else the opportunity to have a shot with the one you truly like. Not everyone is meant to stay in our lives, and it takes two to put in the effort.
Or used them because they can’t like anyone
Narcissistic people ghost for the game and to create trauma bond. It’s not about like or not like.
I like an attentive person., who isn't afraid to show encouragement and interest. Someone who accepts you and likes you and who isn't just pointing out flaws but likes. As a teacher,, you never just point out flaws, but also good things.
I think the most common is that they liked you in the first place simply because they had an illusion of you, then something happened that changed their opinion. They don't want to tell you, so they just disappear. Ghosting is the most convenient way to end communication.
@@ojala5555l totally agree.
Yes, please let go of toxic individuals who are giving out bad vibes. Emotionally unavailable. Fix yourself and find your match.
There are enough with toxic guys who think women are like a bank , asking about money for anything they need , cause they assume im a rich woman , its so bad of them
Either emotionally unavailable or a pure asshole. You look up the definition of an asshole and there's their picture lol.
@@margaretahogberg6869that’s terrible, please do not give anyone your hard earned money. I get the opposite, just today a man I was talking to that I’m suppose to go on a date. Txt me a pic of thousands of dollars. Out of the blue. Said pay day with emoji. Like this is not going to make me want you more, maybe for some women it will. It actually was a turn off. He said I have to pay my workers with this. He doesn’t need to show me that. Only been a week also that I been chatting with him.
“If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.”
Whats if the dead still calling everyday or other day? What do you do? I asked this because i dated a guy and now he dont invite me out he only call every day just one time....i just let him call i answer sometimes.. i not a cold person i just treat others the way i would like to be! But to be honest i rather he just dont call.
This is *intermittent reinforcement. That's what keeps you hooked. (Google it.) If you stop picking up when he calls he'll most likely start calling you a lot. (*Extinction Burst.) It sounds like you don't want this. Good.
Stay strong and ignore him. Eventually, he'll probably find someone else to bother. If he starts threatening you, because sometimes that happens when they are ignored, protect yourself.
*These are behavioral principles.
Please come back to let us know how you're doing.
Wishing you the best! ❤
I like the way you phrase this
Love this
😂😂
When a guy gaslights u, ur not his priority, he's not making any effort to connect, so his words don't fit his actions. If he really wants to b w/ u, he'll make time for u, if he can't even return a tx , (it takes 5 sec. To return a tx) ur not a priority. He's not scared he's not the one. Make him not ur priority he doesn't have time for u, don't have time for him
You will always loose the promising guys who should be in your life with this kind of mentality.
I wouldn't say 5 sec, that's too impatient. Maybe at least within 2 to 4 hours.
Yes true two to fours hrs@@Goodwillwinoverevil1984
@@Goodwillwinoverevil1984 I could be wrong but I think they mean it only takes 5 seconds to reply to text, and not to reply within 5 seconds
@@biserattedros6992depends what else they are doing.. if it takes days to reply..they are not interested and just have them as friends, when you are free.
If he only focus about your looks and only wants to talk about sex, please let go. I learned this the hard way.
I have had many like this. You can tell the difference when a man really wants you in his life or just for some fun times. Once I see all they talk about is my looks, not asking me sincere questions about my life to get to know
Me, all surface level. Yet say they want a relationship and not sex… umm blah blah. I’m left with asking all the get to know you question, even have the nerve to ask for pics when I barely know them. You know what I do? I tease them through txting, flirting, then they think I’m going to see them, it drives them crazy hahaha and then I let it fizzle out. Men like that don’t deserve me. They should be looking at porn or hire a call girl.
Yep. Same 🥺
What did u learn
It took a hard reality check for me to figure out
it kick me out. im deserve better❤
The treat the bad ones right and use the good ones
Yup! He knows from experience and covers it up because people gave him a platform.
This!!!!
@@NatzTalkwhat?
@imvivi sick in their heads narcs! Demented much? Self-hatred is real, especially black males treat white who good and brown queens badly, like they think the white male thinks great of them. They just look at them as the dumbest ones males on the planet.🙄
yes
One thing about Stephan is that he is always informed. He does not give opinions but facts. Good job Stephan. Thank you for sharing your gift.
agreed
So many men will lie and say they are sure they want a relationship,,, But really Don't.
Not with today's women, most of them just play games and decieve & undermine in the shadows.
I see its too late for you
Watch his actions with you F his words ❤ there that should help Linda
@@Kira-berry 💯💯
Yeah, a sexual and occasional one...😂
Idc why they do it ghosting is juvenile and cowardly and no woman needs that in a man. Direct communication is the way.
This is exactly what I said.
Communication is the key
U r right. It's a sign of immaturity. Don't want a man like that.
If they say "Don't contact me" you don't!
I’m a man watching this.
If a guy ghosts a women, it’s because either he has options or he’s just not that interested. It’s literally that simple.
Thanks for sharing. You as a man absolutely 💯
@@PuppyHeaven-k5k not true! My husband ghosted me and then came back after a few weeks for forgiveness we moved in together, married and 15 years together now, his reason was that he lost his job, and he is the kind of men that like to invest in his date, even though I said I didn’t care he felt he won’t be a good partner to me. He reconsidered and came back to me.
Or he's already attached...which also translates to options😂 I've known married men trying to be slick, BUT got caught😅
I disagree. Sometimes men ghost to see what reaction a woman will have. The tell tale is when he comes back and stops the behavior because she's too smart to respond to that. Then he stops, and tries another tactic. It comes from his not knowing how she feels, as Stephan said. I have seen a man stop all of his manipulative tactics, once he is certain she cares.
@@PuppyHeaven-k5k Completely true, nobody is going to risk to loose you just to prove you, NOBODY!
Women should not ask a man “what are we…where do we stand” or any version of that. Men do not need help pursuing women they actually want. The power a woman holds is to limit access to her time and energy. She also holds the power to walk away once she feels enough time has elapsed.
Exactly. I could teach a masterclass on this one. Don't ask questions you already know the answer to. Respect & love yourself enough to get off the amusement park ride🎡 Then DON'T get on anymore rides until you know your value & the next one is worth your time👑
A lot of women stay with a man who isn't treating them well because they keep hoping he will go back to the way he was when she fell in love with him. Most of us hate being treated badly. We're not turned on to it in the least. And we don't like emotional unavailability or avoidance. All we want is to be loved properly.
Talking to God… that resonated big time… always works with me…it’s the only way I’ve come this far 🙏🏽
I'm waiting for God to bring me the right man. I'm 68, still waiting.
I learned the hard, painful way to not get involved with someone who is even in the PROCESS of divorce. Having gone through a divorce myself, I know how emotionally messy it is, and trying to start a new relationship at the same time is often a recipe for disaster--for both parties. You can even have met the perfect person for you, but because of your head and heart space and the timing, you might toss them out and perhaps live to regret it big time later. Powerful episode! Thank you, Lisa 💖
To add to this excellent advice, 'process' can mean any financial or emotional dealings with the former spouse after the divorce is final.
@@tarawiselove Absolutely! Thank you for sharing this!
I’m in the midst of a divorce and rejected a man who was pursuing me, and I regret it. I told him it was bad timing but what was I supposed to do?
@@Aimee03110 It sounds to me that you were self-aware and honest with him. You did the right thing in my opinion. What I wish I had done, but didn't know better at the time, was to tell the person to contact me after their divorce was final if they were still interested, and then we could see where things went from there. Maybe you could ask him if he would be open to this?
Yeah n if they have kids ...extra messy
The trash took it self out. So don't let trash come back. Bye! Move on. He ain't for you. How he treats you is how he feels about you.
The problem is that people need to start asking better questions from the get-go so one can discern that everyone is on the same page for their needs, wants, and expectations.
Discernment is everything..
Uh-uh. "If he pulls away," I'm done. I have no time for a man that isn't sure of my worth. Sisters of the world, please listen to me on this and repeat after me: *This is not Build-A-Bro. I am not a repair shop for broken toys.* A man that values you will never risk letting you slip away by making you confused.
There's a difference between pulling away for a bit and ghosting I believe we all need some space
Hallelujah, sistah!
😭😳😩
Dealing with other humans just takes too much mental energy.
That part......
Great insights - biggest take-away is healing fully to trust yourself to love again.
Seriously not afraid to get hurt, lived my ENTIRE life alone, 25+ years of therapy... still pick red flags like a damn flower garden 😒🙄✌🏼💛💚
Discernment game strong huh ❤
Yasss. Tend to your life girl. Good for you 🏆
Are you punishing yourself for something?
Think of it this way: ppl run away from themselves therefore, ghosting; they deny themselves and true love.
Best comment here for me. The best piece of advice here for me. Thank you so much
My two closest friends are married for almost ten years. Before that, he was supposed to see her and he ghosted her. A few months later when they reconnected, he admitted he did it because of his own personal reasons. We probably would have told her she's crazy giving a chance for how hurt she was, but his reason was here to accept and not ours. Then followed through on meeting. Now married, I'm so grateful they took another chance. Even if it is a not interested in the person, that's still a reflection of himself.
@@MissMcFluffyStuffyeah some guys do that cause they are insecure, they don’t realize they hurt people, and then there’s forgiveness the ultimate love test, however you can’t let him take love for granted and let someone mistreat you forever, there has to be repentance and a change of behavior from the other part. But I believe in love too 🤞
Who wants to be ghosted? I want love, and if they don't want the same thing let them go.
This is the Realest advice I have ever heard especially in todays dating world. Alot of narcissist out there playing all kinds of games I've never even heard of. Dating is so different now. It's kind of scary to love again.But thanks for this. It's very informative knowledge.
Just found out n 2023 what a “narc” is & does…l’m 50 yrs young.
This is exactly why I pulled out of the game. Because that's exactly what it is. Since I don't play games I reconciled with myself that I'm much happier single and can enjoy and live in peace.
agreed
I honestly think manipulative people have always been in the dating world it's just no one talked about it. Oftentimes, narrcisstic people would be open to be in long-term committed relationships that damaged their partners. I am hoping that with knowledge, people will go into the dating world with discernment.
Sadly we live in a generation where when a female shows interest the man loses his 🙄
Depends on the man. Players are out to win you over to feed their ego where emotionally mature men seek mature women who don't play games.
Only disordered men lose interest when a woman becomes interested in him.
Where are the mature men? Asking for myself...
@@inettawalker9387 they were there all along when you were younger and you rejected them. But don't worry dear, you look better as you age. Crow's Feet and a ton of make-up will help you find the right guy.
True
He right. The whole this person switched up thing is extremely rare. Truth is people dont ask questions. They assume things based from past behaviors
Hahahah i saw your profil and thought that i had a hair on my phone, so i tried to clean my phone until i realized thats your Profil 😂
@LuanaKoch I thought I had a hair too!!! 😂😂😂
I realized that he thought and told me I am very attractive, which I think is shallow. He either became bored or upset by things. I held him into account. And once that happened, I was no longer attractive inside or out like he used to say that I was. It’s all gone. It’s like Elvis left the building.
There's the ISSUE!🔺
YEP. I've been here. Classic narcissistc tendencies. Love bombed by all these compliments, that meant NOTHING to me. When I started holdimg him accountable, it was TOO burdensome😂...Needless to say, I put my sneakers on & got gone😂
Sometimes communication is what is needed. Most men just draw up conclusions based on their assumptions. Nonetheless, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship. There are no formulas to these things. What works for Adam might not work for peter. I However learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago my wife and I were on the brink of a divorce because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it..
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things...
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.!
I hope this works for me... I will look her up online. Thanks
You wont regret it
1. What attracted you to your wife enough to ask her to marry you?
This story was told well , because it tells the journey after a women leaves the narcissi .
Learning about the self but lots of other people and family. Learning your power and strength back.
Building confidence like the phoenix being reborn again
No way ,men just don't like us,you would never ghost someone you actually like, they just just want to be chased its crazy.
A partner can say or do something that may hurt you - if you call them on it , or find it’s only or mostly you being disrespected, if not mature enough to communicate with you and answer your concerns or questions as to how this impacts you, it does not bode well, as to me indicates no true relationship. Nothing else matters. Nothing can or will improve without honest open communication.
Honestly I have ghosted men as well. It’s just I was no longer interested in him for various reasons. So when I tell them what my standards and boundaries they are not welling to expect this from me. So when they don’t listen and tries to get me to change my mind. I just ghosted them or deleted or blocked them.
I was given a lot of the bad dating advice and started to believe it, now I kind of threw that all to the wind and focused more on just being me
I agree ... timing is EVERYTHING.....
Folks need to understand that there is no cookie-cutter explanation on men (or women for that matter) and their behavior. We are human. All men are different and will do things the way they believe they should. Stephan's breakdown of information is wonderful as a template to determine what kind of man you're dealing with and how to move accordingly if it is or is not the man we desire to be with. We as women cannot continue to assume that all men will or do behave the same way, or even that all men are bad/mean us harm. That's toxic thinking and gets us nowhere.
Biblical makes it 2 explanations
Toxic : is deception
Toxic : is self centered
Toxic : is futile
Sorry...most men are the same. Those that are truly different are far, few & between. Most are use to manipulating to get what they want & women & overall gemerational TOXIC THINKING & TEACHING have made it TOO EASY. It's Waaaay more manipulative men looking out for their own interest vs looking for a partner to grow with.
Because Stephan is a believer, I consider him one of the best in his field. ❤
Yes that manipulation of telling you you’re special, beautiful or whatever, and I’m sure many other men are interested yet here I am treating you like you’re nothing special. other men would feel lucky to have you.
Like they want to bait you into trying to make them want you.
You see later when you walk away they won’t leave you alone. The childish games of a manipulating gaslighter are so transparent once you know how to see it.
1:00 THIS!! it's not the bad treatment that made me stay it was the high desire of HIM, that I wanted him that made me stay DESPITE how disrespectful he was being towards me later on.
It crazy how I came across this awesome video ❤❤❤I been in a SEXUAL SITUATION SHIPwith a guy for years. Finally said decues. It’s been a month blocked and no contact. I always walk away from meaningless relationships but it takes me forever. But when I walk away I never look back. I’m not sad at all and it’s always the best decision to walk away from a man that doesn’t value you.best peace ever.
Mine was this but working towards a relationship. He was making changes and I wasn't pressuring him. We laid the terms and guidelines so We'd both be on the same page. He betrayed me in the end and if he had apologized for mislaying/breaking my trust, diminishing our relationship and just making excuses and the best for last, putting all the blame on me, I would have been his friend in a few months but now I don't even wanna see his face. I hung up in his face while he was talking ( never hung up on him) and instantly blicked him. It sucks because I was all in and gave him all my trust, now I'm back to square 1.
@natztalk not diminishing our* blocked****
If a high value man does not find a compatible ideal counterpart, he will not pursue a relationship with just any woman. A woman who is highly valued is not what most people believe. The fact is, high value men don't choose women by just looks. Women waste a lot of time and money on pursuing external beauty. Men who don't have high standards or values will pursue the woman with the external appearances, not concerning themselves with reality or genuine qualities.
When you are willing to be fully open and vulnerable to love, you are healed. I am. 🎉🎉💜💜
I was until someone took advantage, someone I thought was safe took advantage. Now I can't trust.
@@NatzTalk Healing is a process. Some people Jesus healed immediately. Some have to be healed as you follow Christ instructions like the 10 lepers. Nine got healed walking on their way to the priest and the one that came back was made whole. As Jesus was healing me, it took years of tears and deliverance but I kept coming back. When you place your heart back in Jesus hands and not a man’s, it won’t get broken again. I know this from experience. Trust God again first because he didn’t break your heart. It gets better. God is love. Don’t give up on love. ❤️
Man where have you been all my life. You are spot on, I'm finally have closure. Time to walk away. I never had communication with him. So thank you
Ladies, never trust a man who only gave you 100% attitude and 0% gratitude!!! If you have to show him your worth, then he doesn't deserve to see it 😏! Most of the time "you can't smell the ish until you step in it 😝"!...where is the funky face emoji 🤭! In essence, too many men camouflage their true intent so it makes it easy for them to trick and be slick with many women. If he mistreated you from the beginning then, he will display the same mistreatment everytime you open the door for him to do so!!! Ladies, love yourself far more than you love him. Until he earns your love, respect, honor, trust etc, then simply DO NOT give it to him because there is a price tag and an expiration date on your love level. True love is earned and can never just be freely and casually given to Mr. Undeserving!!!
Well said Sherry. I gained my knowledge through experience. I was love bombed as a young adult and married a narcissist who like Putin predates and plans revenge till his death. I am educated. I do not have a personality of a victim, but even then, ufff narcs are cancer. Till this day he hates, and tries to control by dangling child support or using my daughter to ruin my dating or … the list is long. I had recently chose to date a divorce, peer (I am 44 he is 46, we are both accountants). He got divorced within a year. We both raise children, I a small son, he a bit older two sons. Well, long story short I found myself boxed into a convenient relationship. He spent weekends with family, met with me on Wednesdays, after work in my home with sleepover with no prospect of any different. His income was good, provider, his family taken care of, he went on parties with kids, as for me, Wednesday nights was his version of being respectful towards my busy schedule. After two nights (I do not stick around long), I objected, he told me that the relationship might not be right and ended it. I accepted the end and moved on. He then two weeks later dumped the car liners I gifted him in front of my car to remind me of himself. He then asked for a conversation because he ended through text and we set up a meeting. We met in a public place, Panera, where he wanted to make himself feel right and convince me that he had reasons to do what he did. I tried telling him how I felt, to which he said that he felt threatened and that when I said that I did not feel I could tell him things that it was hurtful to him. To me his listening was as good as talking to the wall. My chicken died, he did not comfort me. My computer broke he listened like a wall. My narc ex took child support and took me to custody court because I was dating, 10 years after my divorce, and he stayed calm, even said it was concerning what he was hearing. This my dear what emotionally unavailable recently divorced man feels like. He wants to be understood and gets concerned when you bring up things that bother you or you find uncomfortable, and likes boxing you into a convenient sexy time fed by listening like a wall (skill he prides himself in). My meeting felt like a boss telling me the employee where I made mistakes in a very reserved way. I thanked him for his explanation, wished him well and walked out. I am experienced. Lesson, if men separate sharply or leave, let them. Do not try to bring them back. They will come back and prove to you who they are, and the time off will help you gain detachment and clarity. Sad. Hope it was timing issue and not why wife divorced him as well, with three kids. But he never learned his lesson. As soon as he heard of my narc’s actions, he blamed all on my traumas and his lack of experience with it. I got therapy and had 10 years to heal. I was trained as a PA originally and had experience working with people and training in psychology and psychiatry. He did not know it. So, yeah… when you date divorces, make sure they have gratitude like Sherry said and are able to be vulnerable and put in some resources like time, activities, money and so into you. Tell them a sad story, a negative story, start an argument and see if they will be self focused, me me me, my pain, my feeling, and you, you need to wait as he is forming his feelings ok, and have your vagina readily available.
💪🏾💛😍
Thank you for sharing, very supporting and inspiring. You helped me 🫶
Exactly..well said...and that 100% attitude and 0% gratitude...wee doggy! They can take thst funky attitudes and burn!
That HEALING PART is so true, I see and I hear differently after being cheated on.
i liked how he called out the term clingy, nowadays - a lot of verbs in relation to showing love have been demonized
ghosting is a narcissistic behavior.
Yea it is. Then they come back and breadcrumb which is also narcissistic
I don’t think ghosting is a narcissistic behavior. I’ve ghosted men that are argumentative during a healthy debate, wants to talk about how freaky they are, don’t have good paying jobs, etc. They are ghosted cause we’re not at the stage of a relationship where I need to say more other than never call them back.
@@WWlogics if you're ghosting people because of their nasty behaviors is acceptable, however, if anyone ghosting someone (esp.a good person) without valid reasons is one of the signs of a narcissistic behavior.
i dont think so.
As a bait game
The ghosting with text is REAL😢😢😢. Definitely bread crumming😮
Delete the convo AND number. People like that don't respect you.
We all have our gut instincts and must learn to identify the first red flag. They're always there. Thank goodness I am not in the dating pool today. Ahhh, no, thank you. Great post 🙌🏻🫂❤️
This video is amazing, Stephan speaks did his thing.
Thank you Lisa for another illuminating discussion with Stephan. Both of you always come with different topics and your own personal takes ❤
When someone is interested, they will make the effort. Reciprocity and consistency in words and action. Believe what you see in the way they behave.
Know your worth. If your bff was being treated this way, would you condone it?
"When someone shows You who they are... Believe them"
The one I hate the most is ghosting. When I'm ghosted, then goodbye 😂😂😂😂😂
I use to hate ghosting. But not anymore I see it as a blessing.
😂I'm so happy that I'm listening to this wonderful message that is helping me out in so many ways.
This is where the boundaries are to be crystal clear! Where your whole body is telling them no, I am not okay with this. Where you think they will treat you how you treat them, no that's just not the case. You must go over the line in the sand of what you won't tolerate and what is acceptable to you. You can be nice when you say this, but firm. If it's not okay, the best way is to show in your body language, and put your hand up, or stand up and if they don't get it, or don't like it just walk away. No bullshit!🤨 Deep down you already know the answer, don't lie to yourself...
Once we heal from those childhood traumas, nothing hurts us the same.
Amen to that ✌🏾
The thing is usually the manipulatior comes in with obsession even you get obsessed.
Phase I is clinically "love bombing"
This man! I love listening to him speak AND a man of God ❤
Yes! Being vulnerable does mean you are ready for love. Men (I've dated) are always amazed at how vulnerable I am when dating. They, however, are Not. This equals the wrong guy for me!
I love how it starts immediately
Thank you. This is so true and
liberating for the Christian community and all people.
Speak the truth in love.
Mold, not manipulate people.
Accept people as they are if you want to love truly. Give grace as you will need it also.
❤
Wow! I love this interview and it's depth. I'm going to send it to my daughter. As always Lisa, I love your show.
I have always loved that fabulous quote by Judge Lynn Toler (Divorce Ct.).....
"Ladies, never let a man tell you more than once.. .that he doesn't want you!"
Damn right!!!!!
I love you Stephan only person I feel speaks genuinely about a man’s mind
Wait a minute now. So I was seeing this guy and he said he didn't want something casual but he didn't know what he wanted (context he had been cheated on and was single for 4 years) and I wanted to take things slowly but wanted a relationship eventually but slowly for both of us. He said he didn't want to hurt me emotionally or mentally and wouldn't otherwise either. When I was with him sometimes it was good, other times I felt lonely even if he was opposite me.
I remember saying im happy to take initiative but i also like a guy to take some too,he said he prefer for a woman too as he wasnt good at it. He wasn't a good communicator and I like to msg and see eachother hang out get to know someone and have a mixture of conversation. I guess he was scarred though I did say I'm not like that if something was to happen we would be mature and discuss it and try to work through it or respectfully wish eachother well and part ways if it wasnt fixable .... I respect whoever I'm with.
He seemed more interested in my physicality which is not essential to me as much though I know it's important to men in general. I remember watching Matthew on one of these episodes and him saying ask how the person feels when they are around you, and i did and he said he felt safe.
I asked if he was scared of me he said no he was scared of himself. I tried to understand and say if he did or didn't want to talk to communicate and i would know to give him space or help if he asked.
But i guess it was bad timing or my standards were too high for him, though i spoke to friends and they said they were simple things like communication via msg as i stammer so phone scares me and he knew that, being kind and caring as a person (more a quality), finding time to meet up even if its once a week (I lived in NW London and would travel to West Croydon to see him but he never came up to see me but would find time to come to NW to see friends) go out on a simple date, rather go for a walk in the park or bowling then sit in a fancy restaurant and be uncomfortable. I offered to go on dates and he didnt show any interest or his interest was to do something he wantwd which entailed being physical in some way or hanging out.... So nothing came of it I sent him a msg and never heard back so I left it at that.
Though I did like him alot and he liked me but I guess I wasn't enough of what he wanted at that moment
Though on the flip side I have been in an experience which lasted a long time with someone who was alot older then me and we had an undeniable connection and respect and though timing was not there as he was older etc we both were mature and knew the end could never be what we wanted so we cherished the moments we had and enjoyed eachother, fell deeply in love and had love for eachother, had deep conversations, he was very gentle and passionate in private physically, told eachother about our lives and he gave me the safe space to be vulnerable, I could cry infront of him and get angry or be moody or be sexually free or happy or concerned and talk about my fears, he always said I want someone to see you for the wonderful woman you are and cherish being with you, even when your stubborn haha he used to love me being stubborn as i could hold my truth and knew that the softness was protected by strength ..... I don't think I will find a love like I had for the older gent but it would just be different.
so I guess it depends on the man. Hope one day I find the right person for me and if not I'm ok with that and will have my rabbits and dog to love. I'm simple ❤
I hope ypu have found you someone who is more fluid and on the sane page as you
@lf3554 yh me too one day because as much as I like my own company and being independent I'm also wanting to find someone if that is at all possible!
Hope the same for you if that's what your wanting too
@@nicolescott89 The key is its very important NOT to make it your main focus on finding some one. It will make you miserable treat it lightly spend time to educate yourself on how to fate correctlt here on YT adress any issues u may have and if that person does not worship the ground you walk on its a no go!
@lf3554 yh I have my own plans on life and they don't have a man in them at all so I'm good for that but it does get lonely sometimes. But I fill my life with things I love. Doesn't mean I don't want to share my love with someone at times but everything in its time and turn I know ❤️
@@nicolescott89 Excellent keep soaring!
This guy is adorable ! His voice is so calming! Is something about his voice, can’t stop listening to him talking .. ❤
only go with somebody who has mutual feelings for you,
somebody who reciprocates interest,
asymmetry will crush you.
In my experience a guy who texts too much is someone controlling and insecure. It's a red flag for abuse I feel, especially when he doesn't respect that you are working or out with others and he knows that yet won't quit blowing up your cell. Mobile phones have turned into stalking devices and I've dated several men with big double standards, like if I take a nap and miss his call and don't respond within half an hour then I get accused of "sleeping with someone else" yet the man sees nothing wrong with taking 3 days to get back to me.
Omg yes.
That's called selfish and one-sided and playing games
They can also be controlling and insecure, and NOT text alot though too.
He texted/called everyday. Great conversationalist, and then suddenly stopped responding to my text/calls. Reached out to him via email , and he stated that he need to step back, don't need to talk everyday, need some me time and stated that I should do the same too. 2 1/2 years wasted . Peace out!!!
@shellydegraffinreed9096 Ugh, I'm sorry. I've had so many ghosters too. A lot of them disappeared as soon as I tried to take ongoing sexual or romantic contact into a relationship. There are a lot of people who simply enjoy the "thrill of the chase."
Watching his videos make me extremely hopeless about ever finding value in a relationship. Too many games being played, too many contradictions. Too much! I check out the game!
I am glad a Christian’s opinion and insights can be put forward. I would agree the most important relationship would be with God who can love you the most. ❤️
Girl. Wake thecheck uo .u can NOT date GOD nor make love to GOD. Folk, like you rhar are si called Chrustian, remain interesting to me and so msny others. Wjen is the last time you hugged your child, gave $ to someone tga did not adk, gricery shopped fir tge ekderly, smiled qhen someine friwned at you, not gossiped about an innocent oerson amd finally, saud simething NICE and Non judgemental about a friend. Grow thechell uo, Sis amd onstead of makeung everything a quote about GOD, hinestky refkect upo my pastoral self look questions and oray to the MASTER to asist your spieit.
Best to you, Sis!❤
I don't know, I think that this video is so healing and opened me a lot of perspectives. Thanks 💕
When you are healed, you see things differently. AMEN 🙏🙏🙌🙌🙌👏👏👏
Lisa you look great!! Thanks for another powerful ep! I follow you both, always informative.
This guy acted interested in me and told me that if I need help with my car or whatever you know he could help me for free. I told him aww thanks thats good you know how to work on cars my car is already at the shop. The next day I texted him hey how is your day going and he completely ghosted me
He was probably married
I love this whole segment!!!! Stephan has always bring me clarity. People will have you out here thinking you’re crazy or portray you as paranoid.
He brings it bring it brick by brick 💪🏽🫶🏽
He is very educated I’m glad I’m hearing this!
Where do I find someone with your knowing of a woman. Such depth of wisdom. It's so beautiful to hear a man be able to not only be so honest about men, yet also understand us. ❤
Omg.💔 This hits home soooooo hard right now. I needed to hear this😢 I've known what I convinced myself I didn't know.
I just leave when I sense games.
💯💯💯
Ladies, the only power you have is to let them leave and leave yourself. So leave all men who do not provide, protect, respect and commit. Buy buy. Buy buy buy. Need more women speakers please!
If you find your partner stopped talking and being so open it could be something you have said to him not realizing that it was hurtful to them I just found out I had said something that hurt there feelings and that's what stopped him from talking to me about things he was going through all you can do is apologize and explain and tell them sorry for what ever it was and work on how you say things and working on your self will help a lot
The right man won’t run away or goes to they will embrace the fact that you like them and show vulnerability
Stephan Speaka is the best on the topic of spiritual connections on a divine partnership level. I am so grateful for this video. Thank you so much! It validates my current relationship. It unexpectedly appeared after a divorce and being single for 7 years of spiritual healing and transformation. This video is mind blowing. 🤯 ❤
Wow, I'm so impressed with this interview!! Love it!!
I really love how Dinah Jane expressing how she feels. I have been through the same thing for 8 years with a someone who is a narcissist. I am glad to see her growing stronger. Never hate and take it as a lesson we have learnt to be stronger. Without this happening I guess we wouldn’t even know we can be more.
Stephan is so excellent in explaining relationships. I always learn when listening to him! ❤❤
This is the detailed dad talk from another. I needed this years ago.
I totally disagree. He said they split up two years ago, but she was still living there. Granted, she was moving out within two months but honesty would’ve gone much further. So basically, he lied by omission. And then when I found out the rest of his history, not his first cheat. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
Love Stephan! I have his books🥰 so excited for this episode, also your interview skills are always so admirable, can learn so much from you in how you always try to see every perspective and the ways in which you explore the conversation in depth❤ amazing work as always Lisa
What's his last name?
@@mhba4866 Stephan Labossiere ! His books are amazing
@@pennymichaels7449 Thank you.
I've learned to love and value the company of safe men. I was not raised by one, so there was work I had to do. If you do not fit the criteria, your access will be denied.
Was married to an ambitious man for 32 years
He was always too busy forgot bdays and anything special was always late and the deal breaker when confronted and I expressed my problem with his lack of presence….” I’ll get to you when I’m ready “
32 years and done
The audacity of them proposing when they clearly aren’t ready for such a commitment
It sounds like it wasn’t only he was busy but the way he responded was very cold.
"The outside world cannot verify what you know inside." This is why I'm selective as to whose advice I take. Other people cant see the full picture so they will advise to the extent that they can see, relate and understand. You know best, sometimes.
Its Lisa facial expressions for me 🤣😂😂😂 but i loved this interview great job Lisa n Stephan
This is a very thoughtful discussion. You always talk about prayer and asking a higher being for guidance. There is a balance between not passing over the person for you and recognizing the one who is not. I think you are right that rules alone aren't the method to ascertain this answer.
He's speaking 🗣️ for himself and immature men. He can't speak for the man God has for Me. ❤
And then I listened until the end 😂🤣...
He's right about so many things he said.
Thank You ❤Lisa!
You being a butthole 🙄🙄🙄🙄
It's a mind game.
Good interview! There’s so much relevant info in this episode, I kept saying, “Mmhm. That’s true.”
Of course it happens a lot.Loads of people are not in love with the person they married. Some marry,because of children,or money.
Dang he is talking about some real truths. The fact that people are so desperate not to be alone they marry for the image of it, not because they are truly connected and have what it takes to have true intimacy. People care about looks doesn’t matter if it’s fake or not. People were counterfeit fashion. Get fake lips. Fake they lost weight with drugs or surgery. And fake a perfect relationship online while the actual home is chaos. Only the rare ones put in the work to have something REAL.