What if two obsessed people fall in love? They are both obsessed with each other but it's a no good relationship and they both know it? How would you say one of them break up with the other one?
@@MuffinlyJaimes Honesty is the BEST Policy. Only the ones in the relationship know the extent of the obsession & possible consequences of breaking up. There are help from Professional Counsellors who can guide you
Sunny Doodle It kinda just goes along with this video. Like, if you don’t text back quickly they freak out. They might be super clingy sometimes. They talk about marriage way too soon. They put you on this pedestal like you’re a trophy not a significant other.
Had an extremely obsessive ex and it was so suffocating, glad I got out of it but seriously it took me over a year to figure out why I felt so bad with them
@@farrzana1121 well, they like you in a specific way, meaning, they like you when you do what pleases them, and that's basically their idea of who you are, but in reality we all are humans and have downfalls and imperfections too. People who love you would accept your imperfections but ppl who don't would only like you when you're at your best :)
@@malt4249 well, depends, obviously. But loving someone is a huge thing, you have to accept and love their best and worst. People usually give up during the worst phase tho lol
@@okibye4863 well, how do you show love to the person who is at the worst phase? like we know how to show love during their best phase like complimenting them. But how to show love during the worst phase?
@@SaotomeMary do you have anxiety my boyfriend is exactly the same and always worrying about me leaving him I’m doing my research idk if he’s crazy and obsessed and I should leave now or something
Coming out of an abusive relationship I started to see a lot of people don't actually love you they just love having you there. I'm a very submissive person so I do alot of what my partner would like. I offer a lot more than is necessary and I help with more than needed. But I realized a lot of the time they just want to have someone to control and take care of them
SUMMARY 1. they hate unanswered messages 2. they are emotionally immature 3. they take without giving 4. they romanticize the relationship 5. they control you with guilt 6. they are obsessed with status 7. they make false promises
Basically someone who lack self-love, self-care, and rely on external things to make them happy are those who can potentially be obsessive and even destructive too.
But if their love is genuine, it will give them a needed point of you to improve their self esteem while giving them lessons about what love is like so that they can apply a similar method to themselves (this is hope more than opinion)
that's me, but im slowly learning to be better and give my partner the genuine love he deserves because i DO really really love him, but self problems bring me down I think being both obsessed AND genienly in love with someone is possible, but what counts the most is if the person is willing to change their obsessive behaviour for their partner and themselves
@@Peanuts76 I’m sorry to hear that love 💔.. But things WILL get better, I promise you 💖 Ik a lot of ppl say that but things really DO get better. I just hope u can hang in there ❤️❤️ Meditate or seeing a professional helps, but professionals usually only help when the person themselves is willing to 💖
@@Ispalalo yeah, im the scapegoat in my family, my old brother a doctor, he's the goldenchild, had psychopaths traits, now he's more forgiving, was lil different when he were young, he even throw a kitten from second floor, when he was like mid 20 year, he gave me violent trauma, punch me right in stomach when i was like in the high school, just because i went home late, with no talking, like i didn't have old brother..... And then my older sister, a 100 persen classic NPD, manipultive, abusive, even use all my siblings to smear campaign me, flying monkeys, manipulator, gaslighting, so sensitive towards a lil critics, sometimes so arrogant, incapable of saying i'm sorry, have no emphty at all, so sensitive towards money, Always stingy for a coins and lil cents, basically, enemy disguised as angel, she's the most toxic one eventho she hold a good job, that's why she could had any boyfriends, even when she's on late of her age (35 years old), she's so triggering to me, being highly empathetic was always enabling her toxic behaviour, i hate it why i become a highly senstive man, i easily cry when i see people hurt, been depressed alot, witnessing people suffering always made me sad..... My already passed dad was also violent eventho he's a succesful businessman, my mom a neglectful narcissist, she had mental ilness when she was young, not abusive, but certainly still make all her child like a trophy, and supply..... So toxic, only my lil brother thatt dont ever witness all the fear and violent things when my dad was still around (now he's dead) all the neglect, all the high expectations, all the manipulation made me like this..... I guess i had bipolar too, i have manic episodes and severe depression, all the CPTSD symptomps was there, it's so hard to stand up for your self and make boundaries, because how damaging all the trauma and all intermittent love fear and manipulation i suffer....
Fr I’m disappointed in myself that’s why my last relationship didn’t last long and even now I’m doing this to someone I’m talking to. I can see that I’m the problem I need to chill
@@dicksonyurmouf5477 Ya I also did that. But then I've realised that life isn't about fighting the world, but myself. It's Me vs Me. It has always been that way. So whenever I lost control, I'd take a pause and rethink of what am I doing, and what am I supposed to. I have accepted that I'm toxic and now trying to overcome this.
Great video! Sadly, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The person I thought was the love of my life decided to leave, and I’m still deeply in love with him. I can’t stop thinking about him, and despite all my efforts to win him back, nothing has worked. I feel so frustrated and can’t imagine being with anyone else. No matter what I do, he’s always on my mind, and I miss him terribly.
Letting go of someone you love is incredibly hard. I went through a similar experience when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't bear to lose him, so I did everything I could to rekindle our relationship. Eventually, I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who guided us back together.
Vid is bad because they first had to define 'love', then 'obsession' and subsequently explain why the 2 concepts are mutually exclusive. They don't defend the premise of the vid title, so that's just sloppy.
@@dekippiesip i don't think replying to my comment is the right place to discuss your opinion. but anyways, it's here, and _wow_ i never saw it that way. it's been a while since i've seen this video so I cannot say if i agree or not, unfortunately.
@@atlassample4313 Admitting to your faults is a good first step. When you do get close to someone, its worth mentioning your concerns to them, so that they can point out when you start veering into bad habits... if you don't tell them, they may not want to warn you in case you take it badly.
yeah me too... I've known this for a long time though and I'm really trying to fix this defect...and I think I have, at least to an extent. My partner seems much happier and relaxed (in comparison to before, not that he used completely miserable) and I'm glad I decided to confront my fault.
I realized that I might have had an obession with my partner. I would become jealous if they spent time with friends or did their own thing. I am learning. It is okay to have my own life in a relationship and that is kind of fun.
This is me too, I tend to make a joke that I am obsessed with him, which I am, but it’s only recently that I’ve noticed it as it has become an issue in our relationship. I am working on it though, and he’s working on his issues (he can be emotionally detached sometimes), but I’m just glad we’ve brought our faults to light and are now trying to manage them ☺️🙌🏻
Good for you, i still haven't found the right one yet, but realizing that you're one and trying to change is the very answer. Hope you and you're partner is doing good now!
i remember being the obsessed one. Really is a torturous cycle and it’s not easy to get out of once you’re in it. I look back at things and really wish I was a more mature person, but life happens and videos like these help me learn about myself.
Unconditional Love is based on maturity, not obsession. Knowing and accepting that things won’t always be so smooth between the two and that there will be some rough patches, yet we choose to love our partners regardless. Unconditional love is not based on mere moods and desires. Lasting, unconditional love is a choice. It not always just “happens” and you don’t always “fall in love” automatically. It is developed through constant care, patience, sacrifice, and acceptance. It's NOT the story of Romeo & Juliet or some romantic novel, It's real stuff.
You encapsulated love so perfectly. I’m still learning to love, heal and accept myself completely before I go on to claim I love someone else. Pray for me yall!
Are you really in love or just afraid to be alone? Edit: The replies like picking fights with people over the internet with different opinions. It's amusing
It made me think about how many of us can misunderstand if we truly love a person, we can misjudge these feelings as obsession, lust, fondness or even a simple crush. We should take the time to really tell if what we feel really is aimed at a particular person, as a whole. Not aimed at your idea of them, their body, their reputation, money and etc. Love is love, and you'll know it, when you feel it:) Thank you for this amazing video! I love Psychology and getting the chance to explore it in this channel is wonderful
All my life I feel I've been alone..and now that I have a relationship it is like I like her company so much that I have become obsessed over her..now we are having troubles in the relationship but I'm scared to break up!! Because I think that I'll again end up being lonely and she will find someone in no time.
Sumit Shaw Aw that’s sad. Are there (other) reasons for the break up...is it you that wants to break up?..If the answers are yes then I think you have to think real hard at life before her... were you ok with being alone? Bc, I know the hardest part is losing that person but you can’t think about her finding someone “fast”. Bc, you CAN too ;) You just really have to do what is best for *(your well-being)*
Ѕhaðow Hυητεг im a teen yeah, and someone with the username “Ѕhaðow Hυητεг” is definitely a kid too, or a weirdo, either way no judgment. and you cannot base a estimate on where u live or what you think, unless ur in them relationships, or know every single kid in the world then you cannot base this on something with no evidence
Ѕhaðow Hυητεг why are both of you acting as if i’m a 11 year old who doesn’t know shit. like bruh i know what relationship are like, i’m not saying they all prefect but you’re completely stupid if you think that this person who made up a completely random number has thought abt the estimates and facts n shuts behind it, stop bs this is just a random estimate which is 100% undeniably wrong. you literally have no reason to argue with me for asking him where he’s getting this statistic from, it didn’t involve you, or you telling me i’m a kid, or as you said “ur kid”
I've had this exact kind of relationship, he was very clingy to me, immediately got sad or angry whenever I left him for 1 second. He was always very controlling, and I felt very pressured by him. I'm very happy with my decision to leave him and find someone better. No one deserves someone like that in their life. This video just further proves I made the right decision. 😄
Watching this video has made me realize how obsessed I can be in relationships. I’ve had 6 failed relationships partially due to my obsession. I will talk to my psychologist more and learn coping skills to ensure I manage myself better and do things for love rather than obsession.
I get it, its because you found someone you love and they "love" you, and now your hearing this so now you know she/he might just be obsessed. Am I right? Sorry if I'm not.
These videos are so amazing. Not just for me to make sure my partner is treating me right, but also so I can make sure I’m participating in the relationship in a healthy way as well. We have a tendency to forget that we can wrong others and are quick to place blame on someone else. I’ve always been of a mind to stop and consider how my actions may be impacting my partner. Take the time to remind your partner or partners that you care deeply about them and that you’re lucky to be able to experience life in the same time period as someone special like them. Best of luck to all of you in love 🧡
Me: Take care of her Always be there for her Never leave her side Always make her happy Make sure that she's alright if not then do anything to make her happy again It’s okay if they ignore you sometimes Treat them with respect Listen to what they are saying and don’t ignore it Always stay positive Don’t make up a fantasy *and yet I’m still watching these videos to find out if wether I’m doing it all correctly or no*
I was like you, but changing 'her' with 'him'. I'm here to see whether I'm loving or just obsessing. We're not together. He's not feeling the same. I let it be now. I'm still missing him but I think we're not right for each other.
@@skryvazena6548 yeah, same situation here but she left me for her ex from 4ish yrs ago. Was left more confused and hurt than being able to move on. Its a slow process but I see it as she lost someone that would have done their best for her cause I only wanted to make the both of us happy but she left the second we weren't super lovey dovey anymore and went to someone else. Looking back on it I realize I was more emotionally there for her than she was for me and it honestly hurts.
@@Lieblingsmensch-un1bv 💔💔💔💔 im so sorry to hear that, but you are so strong for going through that and mature to realize she really did someone who could have given her the world. just because you 2 were not lovey dovey for a bit and she gets back with her ex for that is so selfish, arrogant, attention seeking and immature of her. you deserve the world, and if she can't even give you a city, you gotta move on and find someone else. take your time
@@stefanny1938 There's a difference between clingy and obsessive -- it's the amount of control you try to place over your partner and a very deep sense of fear/anger/sadness when you don't get that level of control. Clingy is just needing more attention/love than maybe an "average" person, and that can be understood and play out in a healthy way in a relationship with the right boundaries set. Some people are fine with more clingy partners and are the type to want to give some extra love to satisfy them. Clinginess can turn into obsession if you have a partner that's distant and as a result you become obsessive trying to get them to love you back. I'm clingy myself and I've probably been obsessive in previous relationships, it's about finding a partner that balances your needs and desires well with their own. Sometimes people don't mix and can bring out the worst in each other, that's all.
@@realjennyrae1304 Yeah, I mean I feel like he doesn't love more enough and I get sad sometimes, I show him so much love but I'm the one who says" I love you" the most... I feel like I'm being selfish sometimes, when he talks about his ex's before, I did get sad but I didn't say anything and i feel like I'm getting used to it ( no he doesn't talk to them anymore except one) also, he has insomnia so he stays up late a lot and I'd stay up with him until like 5am just for him. But today he went to sleep early, and I couldn't sleep and I miss him so much like I wanna text him, it feels different when he's not texting me I know I should be glad that he's sleeping early but I just miss him and I can't sleep today ugjj
@@stefanny1938 I'm in a long distance relationship and one thing we do is go to sleep together in a phone call, and maybe that could help you sleep better knowing he's there. But if you feel like you "have" to do certain things for him to like you more then there's an issue -- trust issues that could be deserved or undeserved. If something he does upsets you, tell him and talk it out. I've been in relationships where they told me I said "I love you" too much, but now I'm in one where i can say it all the time and get a happy "I love you too" back. You need to figure out what you want and communicate that, and if it doesn't work out, it's better than being in a bad relationship.
I think there’s a very clear distinction between obsessive and clingy. To be obsessive you need many if not all of these factors. I don’t think that clingy partners would over-romanticize relationships and/or only date them for status. I dunno I’m not the one with a degree in psychology but I think obsession is more in depth than clingy.
Love feels easy like you are in the flow and feel natural. Obsession feels forced like you are trying to make it happen. The one who is obsessed will fade away after time, the one who loves you will stick with you throughout time ❤
agreed, forced is just bad and unnatural, you can feel if that is forced or not when you try to do something in the relaitonship. with the right ones, it will feel comfortable.
There are cases where the obsession can grow to be actual love, though. For me it took time away to really assess my behavior. Even though I was broken up about it at the time, it didn't take me long to understand. Now that the other person and I are talking again I've noticed that I still have similar feelings for them, but I handle them in a healthier way; I don't get jealous of their other friends anymore, I give them the space that they need, and I don't give more than I receive like I used to. It doesn't feel forced. Not every obsessive friend/partner gets a chance to do things differently, and not all of them are able to, but I'm grateful for the second chance I was given.
i wouldn’t say i hate unread messages, i would say it makes me uncomfortable because i overthink practically everything. i wish i could stop thinking sometimes. i’m learning and praying that God gives me patience and security and that he does the same for my future partner
@karley we are all the same a bit on this point , insecurity is something that take a while to work on but it can be changed...meditation is really good to help anxiety too
It's really hard when you have so many insecurities and fears... having that anxiety and being in a relationship it's really draining if not managed correctly. I want him to be safe, healthy and happy always, and I use to prioritize him over me. Everything he likes, everything he asks for, everything he needs, there you have me trying my ultimate best to give it all to him. But that comes with supressing all my insecurities and fears just because I'm scared it will drive him away. So scared for him to find out how much I cry when he suddenly disappears and doesn't tell me, when he doesn't say good night or when he acts distant. How much I miss his red heart emojis, his singing recordings, his calls, his random questions and proposals.... I just have to pretend to be brave and bottle it all up myself, and keep offering him my whole heart. We really shouldn't antagonize really insecure or over average needy people. How great would it be if your partner knows your fears, your insecurities, how much does it affect you and slowly try to teach you how to carry a healthier relationship? Now, that's what I would call real love.
I can relate but I’ve come to realize you’ve got to love yourself as well and just as much. You’re also worthy of love. Too much attachment to another can only bring about too many expectations and in the long run, disappointments and major let down. I suggest you try to keep yourself occupied by finding something you like to do. Possibly as a hobby, or an extra skill. Focus on yourself for a change. And try a little emotional ‘spacing’ from your loved one. If he does notice the change and bothers to ask, openly tell him how you feel. No pretense, whatsoever. Say it as you feel. If he really loves you he’ll try to be there for you, otherwise he won’t. And that’s perfectly okay. Genuine Friendships I believe aren’t meant to make us feel so drained and unhappy. But whoever is meant to be yours, won’t ever make you feel unloved or inadequate. Love yourself! It’s really important. Only then can you realize and know what it is exactly YOU WANT. Good luck!
Being manipulated by guilt is something that took me a long time to see, definitely a big red flag that went unchecked because it doesn’t seem like a serious problem at first. it becomes routine, you get used to not doing certain things for the sake of your partner’s insecurities
Holy shit, it makes sense now, idk how to leave, we’re working on things and even made a list together on what to work on but rn i’m like wow, this is plain obsessive behaviour 😭 My gut feeling be right!
AwakenWith Samah111 always listen to ur gut! honestly girl it took me years to even realize it was going on. we eventually agreed that it wasn’t going to work out n afterwards i started putting the pieces together. i also went to therapy and it really helped
I'm struggling with guilt myself from my ex. I feel like I still have to tell him things that aren't even really important because he always made me feel like I had to explain everything i did in detail. Especially if I talked to a Male. He considered it flirting or cheating. How do I move on from this???💔💔💔
Levon Sanchez I’m so sorry that you’re going thru that, what I did was to try my best to focus on myself. I know it’s hard to deal with the guilt but you’re not responsible for someone else’s insecurities! Take time to heal and constantly remind yourself that you can only be responsible for yourself❤️
Oh my goodness, I had just read this and I'm way beyond shocked of how similar my situation with you guys here. I've thought how he manipulates me by making me feel guilty about things so I would instead listen to him. I'm crying, thank you for your words. I will be doing what I should have done from my the first red flag
This is actually very thoughtful.. I have known I have done something wrong or obsessive in my ealier relationships. This proves it. And I feel sorry for my ealier partners...
@@siletsahar I can confirm this. I think I might be one... Edit: I watched some videos on narcissists and I just have some narcissistic qualities sometimes.
As someone who realizes I can be obsessive, it takes a lot of willpower to just trust the process and to not overthink things. I never guilt trip because that’s not who I am but sometimes it’s really hard trying to accept the fact that someone can just leave you the next day. But I constantly try to improve myself and I’d say I can not act on obsessive feelings
Watching this video made me realize a lot about my past self. I've been trying really hard to improve and now I'm falling for my best friend but trying my best to not let her know.
I agree with you and the replies. I was dating one of my close friends and we fell apart because of me being too obsessive, I’m really worried about him and how I treated him. He’s another person, it isn’t easy and I am recovering by trying my best to learn and move on.
Love IS a small obsession over someone, but doesn't become a threat if you want what's best for someone and your actions speak louder than words. Some people neglect your messages at all and change partners constantly. That's also some form of a short-term obsession.
My ex definitely romanticise the relationship. He believes that a relationship shouldnt have any arguement at all. Everytime after we argue, he would post status to facebook and say something like "is relationship supposed to be like this?" I mean ugh
well relationships dont necessarily need arguments but they also dont have to never come with one as well. if your partner and u are happy and havent had an argument, it's not smth that indicates that something is wrong, but also it's ok to have occasional healthy arguments
I don’t blame most people for being obsessive initially, I blame society with its toxic idealistic perfect couple childhood movies or whatever because that’s where most of us women got the idea of the perfect guy or So called Prince Charming . When nobody is even perfect.
I didn't actually date this huy but he had a bad case of limerence. He would call 6-8 times a day even if i told him i was busy and would constantly text. I'm pretty sure he dedicated a song to me, offered to buy me things ( even though we had just met ) , said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me , etc. And he really hoped that i felt this way too. The fun thing is we haven't even known each other for that long ( at the time ) and we never met in person. I was introduced to him through an ex friend ( i knew my friend in person ) and he started playing match maker and decided to pair the two of us together even though he knew I'd just gotten out of a toxic relationship. So mentally, i already wasn't doing well. But this dude saw a few pictures of me and lost his mind. He was a nice guy but it was beginning to be too much. Our first ever phone call/conversation consisted of him laying down all his qualities as a boyfriend and his devotion and loyalty. I was freaked out because we just JUST MET. i don't talk to him anymore but sheesh those were weird times.
Who likes unanswered messages, especially if it's a break from the partner's usual communication pattern? People who genuinely love each other romanticise their relationship to a certain extent. A mixed bag of good and weak points.
I think the video is not saying that the only other option is to be completely ok with being unanswered or left unread. Of course it's not a pleasant feeling but sometimes it happens because people have things to deal with in their own lives. They're talking about people who, in the most obvious/extreme case, can't absolutely stand this or have little to no tolerance for it. And still, this is clearly in a general sense. Everyone has their own unique circumstances. A person who is not obsessive will likely better be able to deal with the occasional unread/unanswered message and move on (granted if there truly is no grounds to think that their partner is actually avoiding them).
If the other person isn’t reciprocating your love as they used to then it turns into obsession. Stay woke, people. You don’t just turn obsessive out of the blue especially when you noticed that you weren’t like that in the beginning, but rather you gradually became that. They started offering you less now that they have you and it made you crave more for what it once was. It hurts to see these people blaming themselves to be the problem. Please refuse to be a victim of love bombing. Don’t self-diagnose but be self-aware. Please know your worth. I’m not saying everything is the other person’s fault but everything is a two way street and for every action there’s an equal reaction.
This is exactly how I feel about it. I do realize that I became obsessive but it resulted from things not being what they used to be and me chasing how it was. That and a slew of other things. Regardless though I do realize how obsessive I was and do feel like I was lacking severely in self love and self worth which made it very hard to leave but I honestly can say I see where we both went wrong.
Thanks a lot. I wouldn't find that connection without you. The fact that she just didn't love me back as much as I loved her makes sense. I didn't want to lose her so I just became more obsessed. I have a hard time recognizing obsession from love. For me it seems like obsession is just stronger love. How can you love someone so much that you never want to lose them but at the same time not be obsessed? I just don't get that.
Honestly- the first time I’ve ever even heard those words in that order of a sentence and started crying. Over the past 4 to 5 years I constantly blamed myself for the way I am, and wowww it makes so much sense. It all started when my ex fell out of love with me 9 months into the relationship, and never told me. But I could see it in their eyes, the way they would talk to me, the way they wouldn’t even look at me. Even the way that she would look to the side when we kissed. Ahhh thank you for helping me come to this realization- of course, part of it is on me, but I think that also contributed to my obsession
Thank you for making this Video. I recently got out of an ugly relationship. This Video helped me realise that he wasn't in love, he was obsessed. Thank you for this video this helped me get over what I thought I did wrong but was never in the wrong. This has saved me from false guilt that I have for my previous relationship. Thank you again.
It took me awhile to realize how poorly I was acting in my relationship. I used to want them with me constantly because I was scared they’d leave me forever otherwise (this stems from abandonment issues). I didn’t realize it at first but once I did I corrected the behavior immediately. That made our relationship so much better and I’ve learned to trust them ever more because of it :) Love, and relationships in general, are a learning experience. So long as you acknowledge what you’re doing, and correct it, it will get better! And it will bring you closer together!
Psych2Go ...laundry, bike ride, contacting legal assistance for my daughter, and finishing an assignment that I submitted earlier. I hope others had a fun filled day ...filled with joy +love ❤.Happy Mother's Day...everyone !
I use to be obsessed and possessive with someone, I'd always be angry and jealous when he talked to someone else other than me, I had violent thoughts about the person they talked to. Even just him looking at someone else sometimes got to me. (reason being due to abandonment issues) I was always scared he'd find someone else or someone would try and take him. I tried driving a wedge between his friends and us so my mind was safe that he wouldn't leave me. Healthy relationships require boundaries, I didn't respect any of his at all back then. It was a horrible part of my life but that was years ago and now I've changed for the better, I realised how toxic I was back then and regret all of it. Surprisingly we both still talk to each other as friends now and are on good terms.
Man, I just realized that I'm obsessed. Not with a partner, but with my friends. I have horrible anxiety (diagnosed, mind you) and I always worry when they don't text me back immediately, or I check every five seconds. I know it's dumb, but a part of my brain is convinced that they hate me and only put up with me out of pity.
I feel that. Something that helps is turning off the phone and doing something YOU like to do. Take time to think about yourself, what you need to improve, how to love yourself, how to cope, etc. When the thoughts start invading, just say "whatever" or "okay Karen" (btw, for those with intrusive thoughts, this may help too).
Some people just don't know how to be alone, or absolutely fear abandonment and fear that they will never find another person because of very low self esteem.
no, some of us are women with biological clocks, dealing with an abundance of trash men who aren't mature and ready to start a family. when we see a gem, we try everything to scoop them up because they're so rare!
I'll be the first to admit i was definitely obsessive with my first long term relationship, both of us in the relationship were. It took a long time to see how unhealthy the relationship was but thankfully we went our separate ways and are getting the help we need. Thanks for the videos Psych2go they're super insightful and give hope for us trying to better our lives 💗
same. What helped to really assess my feelings towards my guy was too take a few days without communication. If you can do it longer, the better. I also had to re assess my behavior of neediness towards him. After U realized that I became needy, I quickly apologized. I took a few days off from communication with him as well. I was anxious all the time, though. But after a free days to a week, I realized I do love the man. All I want is his happiness, I'll give it to him freely without demanding for the same thing. Having him in my life in whichever form is enough for me. As long as I can put a smile on his face and heart
is it bad that i’m watching this to find out if i’m in love with someone and not obsessed with them instead? edit: just came back and saw the replies. thanks everyone for being so nice and giving me constructive advice♥️ i really appreciate it:,)
not at all, in fact I'd say it's the right call, I wish I had this kind of content back when I was in a relationship (almost 6 years ago) so I've could know I was doing something wrong. You watching this shows you really care, not only for other's sake, but for your own as well.
It's good that you try to find this out because when you know what you do wrong you can work it out and also you find out if it's you or maybe your partner
Im glad I'm slowly becoming a better person and learning about myself so I can better my relationship I have with my partner. I suffer from mental issues as well as it being so recent. However she knows and understands, and is willing to help me. I'm also learning that accepting help is also a great thing. It's tough but we all got this
In my opinion, this is one of the biggest factors of distinguishing between love and obsession - the level of respect for individual boundaries. The former has respect for it. The latter, not so much, if at all.
I was searching for comments mentioning boundary issue :). IMO this is the root of the issue, not respecting (the obsessed party) and not setting (the one being obsessed) boundaries. It takes a lot of maturity to spot boundary issue early on and to respect it or enforce it.
It has something to do with a control mechanism of sorts. They are probably insecure with themselves so they attach themselves to you. Maybe for the image, while you may not feel the same. You know take for instance, why would anyone want to take a picture with you ?
What if.. someone is willing to give that respect to you & you don't even possess feelings for that person to begin with? Actually, I'm having such case but I noticed easily that this guy Ik doesn't really give a f*** to my feelings & is someone who just wants to talk with me because he feels lonely. Okay I do that. I wanna help him too but when he gets better, it just feels like he want me to be there to just "lift up his mood" while Idk why I was never even interested in him although I do felt what he was feeling. Seemed like a past image of mine who has to work on to but I think it's just his nature which wouldn't gonna be changing that easily... *sign*
@@devashrijoshi9079 I'm not a professional by any means so if it were me I'd just take what I'm about to say with a grain of salt as this is coming from my own learned experiences. In my opinion, you are under no obligation to reciprocate your feelings back to him, especially if you're honest about it with good moral, health and wellbeing reasons. Now that doesn't mean turning him down with malice and impoliteness/disrespect. I'd say be honest with how you feel about him, even if they're ill feelings. You can admit that "you see your old unideal self when you see him in his current self and not fulfilling his potential" and that it hurts you, especially if there's very little self-responsibility taken to make improvements for oneself - I see no malicious harm in that (rather it's harmful in that it sucks and feels shitty to be told that you can do better than who you currently are... but that's not a malicious or "bad" type of harm). I think it's crucial to be honest/truthful whenever possible because it ensures that everyone relevant or involved is on the same page... and whoever likes it or not, that's their problem. That said, that doesn't mean being rude and cruel and telling him to get f**ked or anything like that (unless he acts and/or has consistently acted upon criminally immoral behaviour, then that's pretty reasonable disgust response in those circumstances I'd say). That level of hatred, especially for long periods, probably won't do you any good for your sense of stability/balance, peace and strength either. So yeah I say be honest with your words whilst being as reasonably polite as you can, what he can improve on in your honest opinion as suggestions, remind him that he's responsible for his own life and actions (in the most encouraging way possible though, with negative and positive aspects included), and wish him the very best. And if he doesn't hassle you anymore, then I think there's no need to go after him if you don't want to or think it's good for your wellbeing/sanity. If he still hassles you... then what I've explained is a good start to standing your ground and enforcing respectful boundaries in my opinion. If he appears to take it well, that's great. If not and acts rudely/disrespectfully to your own eyes (you assess what you can tolerate), then ask him that whilst his feelings are understandable his behaviours aren't and that it's his choice to either make matters worse or make matters less worse... but "I'm not going to hang around and accept your behaviour as my responsibility". Having said all that... it's your choice. My advice can be taken, partially taken, or dismissed altogether. It's your choice. What I will say is that it's understandable to feel/be scared, confused and angry about this situation - because, to me, it indeed sounds like a sticky problem. I wish you all the best and hope it is resolved in the most helpful manner possible. And if anything goes maliciously pear shaped, get out and call the police. Apologies for the long winded reply... I hope it helps in some way, however small. And, if you want, please correct/advise me if I'm wrong about how I've interpreted your situation. Cheers.
i mean some people can be just very attached and insecure. you should talk with her and tell her how you feel, maybe they still love you and just have another problem.
This is such an eye opener for me! As a Scorpio, I’m really trying to detach from the stereotype of being possessive and obsessive. Understanding that I should just go with the flow and not really rush things so early. Thank you so much for this video.❤️
Well....I can relate...... there's this lad..... keeps telling me he loves me already when I barely knew him for a month......I tried to stay away from him.....and tried my best......but after that he kept apologizing for scaring me off.......he keeps helping me even though I retaliate.....he respect the boundaries....like.....in around six months of knowing him....he not even once tried to hold my hand or even touch........... keeps helping me with books..... but keeps telling me he hopes one day I can accept him...... and trust me I don't believe I deserve him..... he's better....on top of our class....had everything....like...I'm so confused....why he does all this....if it's real...or he will just use me once I accept......when I ask him why me....he keeps saying....he fell for me ever since I introduced myself to class on first day of University...and was trying to get to talk to me ..... Goodness.....I'm so done with this
@@Priya-wf5nz You either accept him or reject him. There's no grey area here. There's no point in waiting coz at the end of the day you're stressing yourself while giving him hope at the same time.
@@alanstuart2942 thank you for the reply...... I actually did accept him few days back......and.....I must say....I don't regret it.....I'm happy. Though there are gonna be difficulties ahead.... let's see
Me, i feel bad with him. I always want to be in touch with him because we are in long distance relationship but now i realise that i am toxic and obsessed with him.
I was worried that I was obsessed. And it turns out that I am. I never understood why my relationship ended and I know now why. I needed this. Thank you.
Damn, I used to be an obsessive partner to someone, we weren't in a offical relationship but we treated each other like we were one. Actually, I treated our relationship like that. I texted them everyday, just wanting to know how they were doing. If they didn't respond within the next hour I'd get angry or anxious although I never texted them about it. I also gave them things, I never wanted them to give me stuff because I wanted to show that I was a good potential partner. But all their responses were one-sided and at times and they got uncomfortable too. Eventually they cut ties with me saying that they didn't love me. I was really hurt for several months but now I realize that they left me for a good reason. I didn't love them, I was just obsessed... I hope one day I'll have the confidence to apologize.
I think we've all been there......it's my first love. Then I realized that I didn't love him, I just went over to the feeling that my crush for a very long time finally noticed me(I didn't tried things to get noticed though, he went to me)..........I don't want to loose him, so I did everything(except for the texts or calls). I give everything to him, I am a one call away too.---and at the end, he ghosted me(leave without explanation).
Damn, i can't relate to you man but i really hope that you'll get the chance to apologize. I left my obsessive partner because the relationship was too suffocating, lost all of my friends and when we fought, i get upset and end up taking it out on my family. I wasn't happy and we were in an on and off relationship. (Just sharing this so that you can get an insight on the other side of things ^^)
I never felt obsessed with someone, but two partners were severly obsessed with me, I think I was very submissive. But now I've a boyfriend who is really in love with me
My ex would start fights every time I wanted to hang out with my friends and it was so traumatizing I literally had to cut my friends off and I’m still afraid to make friends now
yeah dame with me. i used to think im obsessive until i seen this and so far i relate to none of these. i thought i was obsessed but it was just love and they told me i wad obsessrd
Let's see if I am in love or obsessed. I love that your videos always come up right after I've started to think about these topics. I am using all of your videos to psychoanalyze anyone around me as well as psychoanalyzing myself.
I noticed I was thinking of her and missing her all the time in the beginning, so I just mentioned the idea of taking a day off from each other and she said "if you think I'm too much tell me right now". So we didn't, we kept talking everyday for around 3 months. She even was the one proposing many romantic things. But things were going smoothly and we loved each other in equal manners, it was really balanced. Until in a matter of a week she started acting cold and distant herself, so me noticing I was losing her starting running after her and consequently acted like I was obsessing with her. But I was just missing the intimacy we had before, being accused of being obsessed with her and that being a huge red flag. But it wasn't like that in the beginning. Whatever, even if it's true or not. I'm going to learn from this. Experience is experience
That's exactly what happened to me.. at the beginning I really liked it and didn't really saw a love relationship than she began saying romantic words ect I was happy... Then suddenly she became distant and she doesn't know what she wants so it hurt that now I'm the one thinking about her and idealize her when she lives her life
Damn same thing happened with me too 😂 thought things werent working out, so i said we should take a break.... which somehow turned into messaging everyday, always at the same time... and the only thing keeping me in this relationship is because they say things that flatter or compliment me... damn i should probably bail out of this huh-
That happened to me. My bf got really distant for a while and I felt like I was chasing after him and his attention for a bit. I didn't feel loved and ended up having a discussion with him over it. He wasn't aware and was upset and got better about it. We're doing fine now but I don't really think I completely healed from jt
I became obsessed with somebody "who got away". 3 years after we stopped having contact I idolized the "relationship", adding feelings and things that were not there. He recently reached out to say hi and I realized that I never loved him and that I was in love with the concept of love and the idea of him, but not actually him.
Yes, I understand too. But in the video, it tells someone obsessed becomes agressive like answer "Why don't you answer ? Am I important to you ?" in the few following minutes.
there’s a difference between being obsessive and toxic tho- a lot of people with fear of a abandonment can be obsessive with their partners because they’re afraid they will just leave or not really care for them. it can be very internalized and it certainly can be worked on. most of the times it comes from a place of care rather than possession
i know what its like to be in so much love with someone that it makes you come off as obsessive but thats nothing like whats talked about in the video. once you learn to catch yourself you can snap out of it, too bad i cant find anyone who appreciates that kind of selflessness
Thank you so much for saying this. I sometimes used to feel (not so much anymore) obsessed with someone but not in the way the video puts it at all. It was rather that the person was a new person in my life and I liked the personality they had, so I often felt the urge to spend my time with them. But not in the way I would limit them from doing their stuff - I usually wouldn't even tell them I want to spend time with them. I just waited till I had the oportunity and took it. But I could feel how attached I am to them and felt bad for it and then I wasn't sure if they realise it, so I sort of just backed up after a while. So basically, I never made THEM feel bad or uncomfortable, always only MYSELF. Strange thing. But I learnt how to be different and much less like that.
Everyone eventually interprets love and obsession in their own terms. We use these terms to justify how we treat or are treated by others. We fool ourselves so much in life and relationships that romantic love becomes impossible to communicate and is merely an exercise in semantic futility. So from the height of mania to the depth of despair we journey, like moths to the flame.
This video made me feel a lot better about myself, mainly because I used to do a few things on this list with my exes. Those were my first relationships so I didn’t know what I was doing and got way too attached, possessive and jealous. Since then I’ve stopped doing all those things, and now I can see that I’ve done a lot of self growth. Even though I can get really paranoid at times when my current boyfriend doesn’t respond or is busy, I now realize that you know; he has a life, and just because he can’t spend every minute of the day with me doesn’t mean he hates me. I’m trying to train myself to become less possessive and over protective of partners, so I can be a better girlfriend in the future. I love my boyfriend so much and I want to do the best I can to be supportive of him, and make his life better :))
@@Psych2go First this is impressive that you take time to respond to your comments lol, and I don't really think anything, I've learned things but those are just that I ain't obsessed with anyone and that no one is obsessed with me, even if your videos are great lmao
@@ezrairene5503 A skewed expectation based on movies because her ex boyfriends always treated her like trash on the street and tossed her aside so she started dreaming of a relationship like the movies, and it never panned out that way when I started dating her, even though I did my best to be the best she'd ever had (I was the best, but also even I still made mistakes, and she made mistakes). In the end, she was too immature and not ready for a relationship. Where as I, knew exactly what I wanted and tried my best to change for the better and work on us and improve the relationship so it lasted a long time. But here I am, miles away from her now, and heart broken..
@@ezrairene5503 It's still very fresh, barely even a month yet.. I lost my "One" so.. You didn't bring any unwanted feelings up, they haven't even left yet..
Me too... I was overly attached to someone who was also manipulative towards me. Well, I still suffer of extreme anxiety and I tremble everytime I talk to that person. I think I should seek professional help.. I don't want to be this way
I was recently diagnosed with borderline and now it finally makes sense why I behaved how it is described in this video. I think its important to say that these patterns often occur with people who have borderline and that they need therapy to understand themselves better.
I was diagnosed with depression but not yet borderline cause of coronavirus, but as I kept years looking for this personality disorder which fucked up my relationships (and I always knew I could have it because of my childhood and mood problems), the depression got away and will come again. I noticed It too, even the video could be calling me unmature when I am not at all, but people with borderline just react, sometimes we can not think at all before doing something, while idealizing or hating. The worst are the delusions, and me hating on myself when I do certain things, not things I hate but ones the persecutory delusions tell me. I'm receiving therapy soon and I hope you do too.
@@ainhoasanchez03 @Beggy I was thinking similarly... my partner also has borderline as well as anxiety and y'all both cleared things up. They're in therapy but alot of the time I don't really know what to do when they break down or if I should be calling them on stuff or not
@@ericahertzberg9390 :( I understand, sometimes you gotta leave them alone or they'll hurt you but others you gotta be there with them or they'll do something risky. I don't know if I'm right tho since it's just what I know.
I think I'm in love with the narrator's voice she's so calming and clear with what she's talking about, you could be an audible reader with a voice this soothing :) x
????? huh? I don't mean to disrespect, but this could be areally good novel trope! If I may suggest, try writing, (its therapeutic, and who knows, maybe you'll end up becoming a best seller author!!!!!!!! it will look more realistic now that you have experience. i am not making a joke! God bless you!)
Timestamps for everyone! 0:32 - 1. They hate unanswered messages 1:05 - 2. They are emotionally immature 1:35 - 3. They take without giving 2:24 - 4. They romanticize the relationship 2:52 - 5. They control you with guilt 3:17 - 6. They are obsessed with status 3:50 - 7. They make false promises
i get upset when my bf goes to hang out with other people, maybe it's because i don't hang out with anyone or because im scared of them cheating. but i always want them to go out and have fun, so it's challenging lol but i'm learning to be ok with them having their own friends and life, and im getting better at it.
I am 100% in the same boat. I want my gf to grow and become a better version of her self and have good experiences with her friends and meet people but I find my self feeling jealous or left out in some way. I try not to show it and combat these feelings without it interfering with our relationship but it gets super hard sometimes. I do worry that I might lean towards obsessive sometimes but on the other hand I do know I truly love her for the person she is.
How did you notice ? How long did you guys date for ? Was it for a reason like did you guys have problems or she just stopped loving you ? I’m not trying to be in your business but I am in a similar situation and I want advice. Thank you!
I used to be the person who was extremely bad were i thought I needed someone else to make me love myself and thought I needed someone else to bring a side of me out that I would love... I emotionally tore the person I was with up and I immediately broke things with us because I felt really bad because I seen what I was doing. I let my own self hatred and anxiety tear us both apart. We are now close friends and I'm trying my hardest to better myself and try to find love for myself so I can truly love another.... It's honestly really hard but I know it'll be worth it.
We have a new video on healthy vs unhealthy love here just recently. Check it out here:
ruclips.net/video/4c5dFcC4LNY/видео.html
What if two obsessed people fall in love? They are both obsessed with each other but it's a no good relationship and they both know it? How would you say one of them break up with the other one?
Thank you Psych2go, you get me 😊😊😊😊😊
@@MuffinlyJaimes Honesty is the BEST Policy. Only the ones in the relationship know the extent of the obsession & possible consequences of breaking up. There are help from Professional Counsellors who can guide you
418,000th View!!😁
I absolutely dodged a bullet by not marrying the person I was engaged to. This can be a very dangerous relationship to be in.
Sometimes they don’t love you they just love that they have you. It took me a few years to figure that out lol
Ghost Ant how can you tell the difference?
Sunny Doodle It kinda just goes along with this video. Like, if you don’t text back quickly they freak out. They might be super clingy sometimes. They talk about marriage way too soon. They put you on this pedestal like you’re a trophy not a significant other.
Had an extremely obsessive ex and it was so suffocating, glad I got out of it but seriously it took me over a year to figure out why I felt so bad with them
come into my van I’m glad for you! I know that same suffocating feeling and it’s not fun at all
same, at least i realized it soon enough to leave them with no further harm
People usually love the idea of you, not you.
Pls explain. I dont understand if he... yk 😓
yikes. here i am thinking he could love me for me
@@farrzana1121 well, they like you in a specific way, meaning, they like you when you do what pleases them, and that's basically their idea of who you are, but in reality we all are humans and have downfalls and imperfections too. People who love you would accept your imperfections but ppl who don't would only like you when you're at your best :)
@@malt4249 well, depends, obviously. But loving someone is a huge thing, you have to accept and love their best and worst. People usually give up during the worst phase tho lol
@@okibye4863 well, how do you show love to the person who is at the worst phase? like we know how to show love during their best phase like complimenting them. But how to show love during the worst phase?
i hate unread messages but it’s because i have a huge fear of being abandoned. so i’m still learning how to get over that.
Same also I feel like I did something wrong if I’m unanswered
glad im not alone
Same
Same girl
@@SaotomeMary do you have anxiety my boyfriend is exactly the same and always worrying about me leaving him I’m doing my research idk if he’s crazy and obsessed and I should leave now or something
Coming out of an abusive relationship I started to see a lot of people don't actually love you they just love having you there. I'm a very submissive person so I do alot of what my partner would like. I offer a lot more than is necessary and I help with more than needed. But I realized a lot of the time they just want to have someone to control and take care of them
Saaaame!
SUMMARY
1. they hate unanswered messages
2. they are emotionally immature
3. they take without giving
4. they romanticize the relationship
5. they control you with guilt
6. they are obsessed with status
7. they make false promises
Ty that was what I needed to know ( ˘ ³˘)♥
Kitsumu
And, r/niceguys.
@@glenv9511 I thought Nice Guys would give everything just to have sex?
It wouldn't check the 3rd point.
3. They take or give too much*
@@Cipher_Paul nah that's fuckboys
Basically someone who lack self-love, self-care, and rely on external things to make them happy are those who can potentially be obsessive and even destructive too.
But if their love is genuine, it will give them a needed point of you to improve their self esteem while giving them lessons about what love is like so that they can apply a similar method to themselves
(this is hope more than opinion)
that's me, but im slowly learning to be better and give my partner the genuine love he deserves
because i DO really really love him, but self problems bring me down
I think being both obsessed AND genienly in love with someone is possible, but what counts the most is if the person is willing to change their obsessive behaviour for their partner and themselves
And thats me, i have ASPD, repressed anger and had childhood trauma made me like this
@@Peanuts76 I’m sorry to hear that love 💔..
But things WILL get better, I promise you 💖
Ik a lot of ppl say that but things really DO get better. I just hope u can hang in there ❤️❤️
Meditate or seeing a professional helps, but professionals usually only help when the person themselves is willing to 💖
@@Ispalalo yeah, im the scapegoat in my family, my old brother a doctor, he's the goldenchild, had psychopaths traits, now he's more forgiving, was lil different when he were young, he even throw a kitten from second floor, when he was like mid 20 year, he gave me violent trauma, punch me right in stomach when i was like in the high school, just because i went home late, with no talking, like i didn't have old brother.....
And then my older sister, a 100 persen classic NPD, manipultive, abusive, even use all my siblings to smear campaign me, flying monkeys, manipulator, gaslighting, so sensitive towards a lil critics, sometimes so arrogant, incapable of saying i'm sorry, have no emphty at all, so sensitive towards money, Always stingy for a coins and lil cents, basically, enemy disguised as angel, she's the most toxic one eventho she hold a good job, that's why she could had any boyfriends, even when she's on late of her age (35 years old), she's so triggering to me, being highly empathetic was always enabling her toxic behaviour, i hate it why i become a highly senstive man, i easily cry when i see people hurt, been depressed alot, witnessing people suffering always made me sad.....
My already passed dad was also violent eventho he's a succesful businessman, my mom a neglectful narcissist, she had mental ilness when she was young, not abusive, but certainly still make all her child like a trophy, and supply.....
So toxic, only my lil brother thatt dont ever witness all the fear and violent things when my dad was still around (now he's dead) all the neglect, all the high expectations, all the manipulation made me like this.....
I guess i had bipolar too, i have manic episodes and severe depression, all the CPTSD symptomps was there, it's so hard to stand up for your self and make boundaries, because how damaging all the trauma and all intermittent love fear and manipulation i suffer....
That heart-shattering feeling when you find out that, the obsessed person they're talking about is you 😶
😂😂😂😂
😂👍
Fr I’m disappointed in myself that’s why my last relationship didn’t last long and even now I’m doing this to someone I’m talking to. I can see that I’m the problem I need to chill
@@dicksonyurmouf5477 Ya I also did that. But then I've realised that life isn't about fighting the world, but myself. It's Me vs Me. It has always been that way. So whenever I lost control, I'd take a pause and rethink of what am I doing, and what am I supposed to. I have accepted that I'm toxic and now trying to overcome this.
Ahhh making me hate myself even more now 😫
Great video! Sadly, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The person I thought was the love of my life decided to leave, and I’m still deeply in love with him. I can’t stop thinking about him, and despite all my efforts to win him back, nothing has worked. I feel so frustrated and can’t imagine being with anyone else. No matter what I do, he’s always on my mind, and I miss him terribly.
Letting go of someone you love is incredibly hard. I went through a similar experience when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't bear to lose him, so I did everything I could to rekindle our relationship. Eventually, I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who guided us back together.
Wow, that’s incredible! How did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him?
His name is Fatherabulu, and he’s an amazing spiritual counselor who specializes in helping people reconnect with their ex.
Thank you for sharing this valuable info! I just looked him up, and he seems impressive.
_when you watch these videos and now you're panicking over whether it's crush, love, infatuation or obsession_
Lol
yes and most of the comments freak me out
Might be limerence
Vid is bad because they first had to define 'love', then 'obsession' and subsequently explain why the 2 concepts are mutually exclusive. They don't defend the premise of the vid title, so that's just sloppy.
@@dekippiesip i don't think replying to my comment is the right place to discuss your opinion. but anyways, it's here, and _wow_ i never saw it that way. it's been a while since i've seen this video so I cannot say if i agree or not, unfortunately.
When you realize you were the obsessed one and hate yourself just a bit
Edit: Thanks everyone for your kind words ❤️
@Jennessa Sample Big oof. I felt that.
you can change for being a better person ^^
@@atlassample4313 Admitting to your faults is a good first step. When you do get close to someone, its worth mentioning your concerns to them, so that they can point out when you start veering into bad habits... if you don't tell them, they may not want to warn you in case you take it badly.
Yeah same
yeah me too... I've known this for a long time though and I'm really trying to fix this defect...and I think I have, at least to an extent. My partner seems much happier and relaxed (in comparison to before, not that he used completely miserable) and I'm glad I decided to confront my fault.
I realized that I might have had an obession with my partner. I would become jealous if they spent time with friends or did their own thing. I am learning. It is okay to have my own life in a relationship and that is kind of fun.
same here
Same
Hey, it's good that you are changing for the better. I wish you good luck in it ^^
This is me too, I tend to make a joke that I am obsessed with him, which I am, but it’s only recently that I’ve noticed it as it has become an issue in our relationship. I am working on it though, and he’s working on his issues (he can be emotionally detached sometimes), but I’m just glad we’ve brought our faults to light and are now trying to manage them ☺️🙌🏻
Good for you, i still haven't found the right one yet, but realizing that you're one and trying to change is the very answer. Hope you and you're partner is doing good now!
i remember being the obsessed one. Really is a torturous cycle and it’s not easy to get out of once you’re in it. I look back at things and really wish I was a more mature person, but life happens and videos like these help me learn about myself.
Unconditional Love is based on maturity, not obsession. Knowing and accepting that things won’t always be so smooth between the two and that there will be some rough patches, yet we choose to love our partners regardless. Unconditional love is not based on mere moods and desires.
Lasting, unconditional love is a choice. It not always just “happens” and you don’t always “fall in love” automatically. It is developed through constant care, patience, sacrifice, and acceptance. It's NOT the story of Romeo & Juliet or some romantic novel, It's real stuff.
love is patient, love is generous, love is kind and love is working on it.
@Kit Cat You're very welcome :)
@@robertzsombok7661 exactly!
Most people don't know how to love, they should teach it in schools because parents aren't always the best teachers
You encapsulated love so perfectly. I’m still learning to love, heal and accept myself completely before I go on to claim I love someone else. Pray for me yall!
Are you really in love or just afraid to be alone?
Edit: The replies like picking fights with people over the internet with different opinions. It's amusing
This is so true! Many of us hate to admit the truth. What are your thoughts after watching this video?
It made me think about how many of us can misunderstand if we truly love a person, we can misjudge these feelings as obsession, lust, fondness or even a simple crush. We should take the time to really tell if what we feel really is aimed at a particular person, as a whole. Not aimed at your idea of them, their body, their reputation, money and etc. Love is love, and you'll know it, when you feel it:) Thank you for this amazing video! I love Psychology and getting the chance to explore it in this channel is wonderful
So true! I for one am fine being alone... it’s better! In my case anyway
All my life I feel I've been alone..and now that I have a relationship it is like I like her company so much that I have become obsessed over her..now we are having troubles in the relationship but I'm scared to break up!! Because I think that I'll again end up being lonely and she will find someone in no time.
Sumit Shaw Aw that’s sad. Are there (other) reasons for the break up...is it you that wants to break up?..If the answers are yes then I think you have to think real hard at life before her... were you ok with being alone? Bc, I know the hardest part is losing that person but you can’t think about her finding someone “fast”. Bc, you CAN too ;) You just really have to do what is best for *(your well-being)*
Me watching this even tho I know no one is obsessed OR in love w me
Bea._. Kpoptrash
Same
Same here!
Same
Me too😂😂😂
same what a mood we all have hoping someone would be obsessed with us
Watching this to know if I’m obsessed with them, not the other way around lmaoo
90% of teenage relationships are only obsession
Edit: omg thanks for the likes guys
according to who 🤣🤣
Ѕhaðow Hυητεг you can’t just make up a random percentage and claim it as fact tho, this isn’t an estimate this is deadass a random ass number.
Ѕhaðow Hυητεг im a teen yeah, and someone with the username “Ѕhaðow Hυητεг” is definitely a kid too, or a weirdo, either way no judgment. and you cannot base a estimate on where u live or what you think, unless ur in them relationships, or know every single kid in the world then you cannot base this on something with no evidence
@@radsubs1808 Come on man. Look around while growing up. You'll see what I mean.
Ѕhaðow Hυητεг why are both of you acting as if i’m a 11 year old who doesn’t know shit. like bruh i know what relationship are like, i’m not saying they all prefect but you’re completely stupid if you think that this person who made up a completely random number has thought abt the estimates and facts n shuts behind it, stop bs this is just a random estimate which is 100% undeniably wrong. you literally have no reason to argue with me for asking him where he’s getting this statistic from, it didn’t involve you, or you telling me i’m a kid, or as you said “ur kid”
Anyone checking if they are obsessed with their crushes?
I am lol
Yup I am
I do some of these things ToT
Only 2 of them tho
I was relieved when the video said crushes resemble obsession at first! lol
I've had this exact kind of relationship, he was very clingy to me, immediately got sad or angry whenever I left him for 1 second. He was always very controlling, and I felt very pressured by him. I'm very happy with my decision to leave him and find someone better. No one deserves someone like that in their life. This video just further proves I made the right decision. 😄
I’m very glad you did :)
I'm very proud of you!
@Sabrina Magri obsession/addiction
I can relate to that and feel the same way as you. 😅😁
YES!!!!!!
Watching this video has made me realize how obsessed I can be in relationships. I’ve had 6 failed relationships partially due to my obsession. I will talk to my psychologist more and learn coping skills to ensure I manage myself better and do things for love rather than obsession.
Me: **sees title**
Also me: **chuckle** I don't even have relationship
same :(
Same.
Same 😂
Same
Same but I have a friend who is a teacher at my school.
There’s a huge difference between wanting to love someone and wanting to own someone.
I feel personally attacked, this hit home way too hard.
Same
How(sorry I never had a lover before please don't get offended)
@@lavender_milk312 do you really think people will get offended by the word "how"?
@@nenidetic because everytime I say how in the comments they attack me
I get it, its because you found someone you love and they "love" you, and now your hearing this so now you know she/he might just be obsessed.
Am I right? Sorry if I'm not.
These videos are so amazing. Not just for me to make sure my partner is treating me right, but also so I can make sure I’m participating in the relationship in a healthy way as well.
We have a tendency to forget that we can wrong others and are quick to place blame on someone else. I’ve always been of a mind to stop and consider how my actions may be impacting my partner.
Take the time to remind your partner or partners that you care deeply about them and that you’re lucky to be able to experience life in the same time period as someone special like them. Best of luck to all of you in love 🧡
Me:
Take care of her
Always be there for her
Never leave her side
Always make her happy
Make sure that she's alright if not then do anything to make her happy again
It’s okay if they ignore you sometimes
Treat them with respect
Listen to what they are saying and don’t ignore it
Always stay positive
Don’t make up a fantasy
*and yet I’m still watching these videos to find out if wether I’m doing it all correctly or no*
I was like you, but changing 'her' with 'him'. I'm here to see whether I'm loving or just obsessing. We're not together. He's not feeling the same. I let it be now. I'm still missing him but I think we're not right for each other.
@@skryvazena6548 yeah, same situation here but she left me for her ex from 4ish yrs ago. Was left more confused and hurt than being able to move on. Its a slow process but I see it as she lost someone that would have done their best for her cause I only wanted to make the both of us happy but she left the second we weren't super lovey dovey anymore and went to someone else. Looking back on it I realize I was more emotionally there for her than she was for me and it honestly hurts.
damn you're such a good boyfriend and she should know that
@@Lieblingsmensch-un1bv 💔💔💔💔 im so sorry to hear that, but you are so strong for going through that and mature to realize she really did someone who could have given her the world. just because you 2 were not lovey dovey for a bit and she gets back with her ex for that is so selfish, arrogant, attention seeking and immature of her. you deserve the world, and if she can't even give you a city, you gotta move on and find someone else. take your time
@@Ispalalo much appreciated chief, I'm just focusing in my job now instead and it helps
Can we all just take a moment to realize that the person doing the voices is absolutely beautiful?
Thank you!!
Thank you!
Go outside
Right!
The fact that you're just needy and clingy turns out to be an obsession makes me so sad.
Same, I'm clingy but I guess it's obsession...
@@stefanny1938 There's a difference between clingy and obsessive -- it's the amount of control you try to place over your partner and a very deep sense of fear/anger/sadness when you don't get that level of control. Clingy is just needing more attention/love than maybe an "average" person, and that can be understood and play out in a healthy way in a relationship with the right boundaries set. Some people are fine with more clingy partners and are the type to want to give some extra love to satisfy them. Clinginess can turn into obsession if you have a partner that's distant and as a result you become obsessive trying to get them to love you back. I'm clingy myself and I've probably been obsessive in previous relationships, it's about finding a partner that balances your needs and desires well with their own. Sometimes people don't mix and can bring out the worst in each other, that's all.
@@realjennyrae1304 Yeah, I mean I feel like he doesn't love more enough and I get sad sometimes, I show him so much love but I'm the one who says" I love you" the most... I feel like I'm being selfish sometimes, when he talks about his ex's before, I did get sad but I didn't say anything and i feel like I'm getting used to it ( no he doesn't talk to them anymore except one) also, he has insomnia so he stays up late a lot and I'd stay up with him until like 5am just for him. But today he went to sleep early, and I couldn't sleep and I miss him so much like I wanna text him, it feels different when he's not texting me I know I should be glad that he's sleeping early but I just miss him and I can't sleep today ugjj
@@stefanny1938 I'm in a long distance relationship and one thing we do is go to sleep together in a phone call, and maybe that could help you sleep better knowing he's there. But if you feel like you "have" to do certain things for him to like you more then there's an issue -- trust issues that could be deserved or undeserved. If something he does upsets you, tell him and talk it out. I've been in relationships where they told me I said "I love you" too much, but now I'm in one where i can say it all the time and get a happy "I love you too" back. You need to figure out what you want and communicate that, and if it doesn't work out, it's better than being in a bad relationship.
I think there’s a very clear distinction between obsessive and clingy. To be obsessive you need many if not all of these factors. I don’t think that clingy partners would over-romanticize relationships and/or only date them for status. I dunno I’m not the one with a degree in psychology but I think obsession is more in depth than clingy.
This woman's voice is SO soothing and comforting. Wow. It imparts a sense of compassion to the topic
Love feels easy like you are in the flow and feel natural. Obsession feels forced like you are trying to make it happen. The one who is obsessed will fade away after time, the one who loves you will stick with you throughout time ❤
agreed, forced is just bad and unnatural, you can feel if that is forced or not when you try to do something in the relaitonship. with the right ones, it will feel comfortable.
There are cases where the obsession can grow to be actual love, though. For me it took time away to really assess my behavior. Even though I was broken up about it at the time, it didn't take me long to understand. Now that the other person and I are talking again I've noticed that I still have similar feelings for them, but I handle them in a healthier way; I don't get jealous of their other friends anymore, I give them the space that they need, and I don't give more than I receive like I used to. It doesn't feel forced. Not every obsessive friend/partner gets a chance to do things differently, and not all of them are able to, but I'm grateful for the second chance I was given.
i wouldn’t say i hate unread messages, i would say it makes me uncomfortable because i overthink practically everything. i wish i could stop thinking sometimes. i’m learning and praying that God gives me patience and security and that he does the same for my future partner
@karley we are all the same a bit on this point , insecurity is something that take a while to work on but it can be changed...meditation is really good to help anxiety too
@karley you need to work on yourself and know your forces if you want to become more secure.
Think, Mark think!
I only got insecure after the trust was broken soooo😬🤷♀️
Same
8th sign of obsession: Someone threatens to stalk you. Yes, this really happened.
Yesss, this is so true cuz im facing this rn urghh!
NABILAH RAHIM Yikes, sorry to hear that. I’d change my phone number. If the person starts to stalk you, get a restraining order ASAP.
Shit, I've been stalked by my friend who was crushing on me before quarantine happened
Me tooo
9th sign of obsession:- they'll always make you feel that you are wrong and making issue out of small things
Damn I can relate.... 😶😑😶
It's really hard when you have so many insecurities and fears... having that anxiety and being in a relationship it's really draining if not managed correctly. I want him to be safe, healthy and happy always, and I use to prioritize him over me. Everything he likes, everything he asks for, everything he needs, there you have me trying my ultimate best to give it all to him. But that comes with supressing all my insecurities and fears just because I'm scared it will drive him away. So scared for him to find out how much I cry when he suddenly disappears and doesn't tell me, when he doesn't say good night or when he acts distant. How much I miss his red heart emojis, his singing recordings, his calls, his random questions and proposals.... I just have to pretend to be brave and bottle it all up myself, and keep offering him my whole heart. We really shouldn't antagonize really insecure or over average needy people. How great would it be if your partner knows your fears, your insecurities, how much does it affect you and slowly try to teach you how to carry a healthier relationship? Now, that's what I would call real love.
I can relate but I’ve come to realize you’ve got to love yourself as well and just as much. You’re also worthy of love. Too much attachment to another can only bring about too many expectations and in the long run, disappointments and major let down. I suggest you try to keep yourself occupied by finding something you like to do. Possibly as a hobby, or an extra skill. Focus on yourself for a change. And try a little emotional ‘spacing’ from your loved one. If he does notice the change and bothers to ask, openly tell him how you feel. No pretense, whatsoever. Say it as you feel. If he really loves you he’ll try to be there for you, otherwise he won’t. And that’s perfectly okay. Genuine Friendships I believe aren’t meant to make us feel so drained and unhappy. But whoever is meant to be yours, won’t ever make you feel unloved or inadequate. Love yourself! It’s really important. Only then can you realize and know what it is exactly YOU WANT. Good luck!
A lot of people don’t “love” their favorite celebrities. They’re obsessed with them...
You're ON POINT about this!
Aka toxic k pop fans
Deedee yeah unfortunately. I’m part of the K-pop fandom and it makes me sad for the artists to see fans who are way too obsessed. 😔
Deedee I’m a Kpop Stan myself and this is true. There are people that are very obsessed with Kpop Idols and even stalk them
@@ameeramela-kamara6669 Those are saesangs
Being manipulated by guilt is something that took me a long time to see, definitely a big red flag that went unchecked because it doesn’t seem like a serious problem at first. it becomes routine, you get used to not doing certain things for the sake of your partner’s insecurities
Holy shit, it makes sense now, idk how to leave, we’re working on things and even made a list together on what to work on but rn i’m like wow, this is plain obsessive behaviour 😭 My gut feeling be right!
AwakenWith Samah111 always listen to ur gut! honestly girl it took me years to even realize it was going on. we eventually agreed that it wasn’t going to work out n afterwards i started putting the pieces together. i also went to therapy and it really helped
I'm struggling with guilt myself from my ex. I feel like I still have to tell him things that aren't even really important because he always made me feel like I had to explain everything i did in detail. Especially if I talked to a Male. He considered it flirting or cheating. How do I move on from this???💔💔💔
Levon Sanchez I’m so sorry that you’re going thru that, what I did was to try my best to focus on myself. I know it’s hard to deal with the guilt but you’re not responsible for someone else’s insecurities! Take time to heal and constantly remind yourself that you can only be responsible for yourself❤️
Oh my goodness, I had just read this and I'm way beyond shocked of how similar my situation with you guys here. I've thought how he manipulates me by making me feel guilty about things so I would instead listen to him. I'm crying, thank you for your words. I will be doing what I should have done from my the first red flag
Imagine someone loving you in the first place
Can’t relate
Same sis🤣😂😂😂😂
Me too😂😂😂
Same
I never loved someone but people liked me for some reason? And that just made my self-esteem worst so, you're lucky.
Ssammmeee
This is actually very thoughtful.. I have known I have done something wrong or obsessive in my ealier relationships. This proves it. And I feel sorry for my ealier partners...
My mum has a obsessive boyfriend I keep telling her yet she never listens to me..
I hope it gets better for u! And ur mom
@@lyosha3027
Thank you
@% Holy Garanja
Probably..
@% Holy Garanja
Please give me some
And thank you I needed to hear this, I have bad thoughts sometimes(not only because of my mum)
Maybe show her the video?
Interesting. These kinda seem similar to signs of narcissism.
These people usually are narcissists
Oh give it a rest with these buzzwords guys
Narcissism is a desirable and rewarded trait in society.
@@natureandphysics403 not really you see everyone shaming narcissists
@@siletsahar I can confirm this. I think I might be one... Edit: I watched some videos on narcissists and I just have some narcissistic qualities sometimes.
As someone who realizes I can be obsessive, it takes a lot of willpower to just trust the process and to not overthink things. I never guilt trip because that’s not who I am but sometimes it’s really hard trying to accept the fact that someone can just leave you the next day. But I constantly try to improve myself and I’d say I can not act on obsessive feelings
Watching this video made me realize a lot about my past self. I've been trying really hard to improve and now I'm falling for my best friend but trying my best to not let her know.
same
THIS!! Good job on your part. It's so important to recognize our issues and learn how to become a better person. Happy and proud to see it
I agree with you and the replies. I was dating one of my close friends and we fell apart because of me being too obsessive, I’m really worried about him and how I treated him. He’s another person, it isn’t easy and I am recovering by trying my best to learn and move on.
Love IS a small obsession over someone, but doesn't become a threat if you want what's best for someone and your actions speak louder than words. Some people neglect your messages at all and change partners constantly. That's also some form of a short-term obsession.
My ex definitely romanticise the relationship. He believes that a relationship shouldnt have any arguement at all. Everytime after we argue, he would post status to facebook and say something like "is relationship supposed to be like this?" I mean ugh
Hey. I have the same story! And I thought maybe real relationships have no arguments at all and I stopped telling anything to avoid arguments!
well relationships dont necessarily need arguments but they also dont have to never come with one as well. if your partner and u are happy and havent had an argument, it's not smth that indicates that something is wrong, but also it's ok to have occasional healthy arguments
@@vivt.9619 yeah my comment was about the halthy arguments, he doesnt like it. He wants no argument at all
@@LeniTjahjadi I don't think anybody likes arguments but that's part of a friendship or whatever.
What the hell, immature....
1:00 "Your partner is only after one thing"
Me: and it's disgusting.
the video: "Control"
Me: ...Oh...
you seem confident in your answer. if you know what you said is the truth, i think you should leave them because that aint good sis 😐
😂😂😂😂 i thought so too
dwof
She actually referenced a meme, but okay.
꧁NataliaIsA_ Newb꧂ i know, i just took it more seriously
hahahahahaa "oh..youuuuuu.."
I don’t blame most people for being obsessive initially, I blame society with its toxic idealistic perfect couple childhood movies or whatever because that’s where most of us women got the idea of the perfect guy or So called Prince Charming . When nobody is even perfect.
I didn't actually date this huy but he had a bad case of limerence. He would call 6-8 times a day even if i told him i was busy and would constantly text. I'm pretty sure he dedicated a song to me, offered to buy me things ( even though we had just met ) , said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me , etc. And he really hoped that i felt this way too. The fun thing is we haven't even known each other for that long ( at the time ) and we never met in person. I was introduced to him through an ex friend ( i knew my friend in person ) and he started playing match maker and decided to pair the two of us together even though he knew I'd just gotten out of a toxic relationship. So mentally, i already wasn't doing well. But this dude saw a few pictures of me and lost his mind. He was a nice guy but it was beginning to be too much. Our first ever phone call/conversation consisted of him laying down all his qualities as a boyfriend and his devotion and loyalty. I was freaked out because we just JUST MET. i don't talk to him anymore but sheesh those were weird times.
hmm what about «friends» that are obsessed with you and obsessed with trying to prove they are better then you..?
They're like rivals from Pokemon games... Red vs Blue. Ignore them and minimize contact if they keep annoying you... no other way to deal with them.
Nobody is better than anyone in look at the heart of a person that's what I love
@@keiron.4612 Well said. Everyone's important and unique
@@DarshD even abusive parents there not unique
@@keiron.4612 parents comparing children are the worst. Abusive are also bad especially drunk dads beating children for no reason
Who likes unanswered messages, especially if it's a break from the partner's usual communication pattern?
People who genuinely love each other romanticise their relationship to a certain extent.
A mixed bag of good and weak points.
Yeah, I agree with you. The things said in this video are true and right until a certain point
I think the video is not saying that the only other option is to be completely ok with being unanswered or left unread. Of course it's not a pleasant feeling but sometimes it happens because people have things to deal with in their own lives.
They're talking about people who, in the most obvious/extreme case, can't absolutely stand this or have little to no tolerance for it. And still, this is clearly in a general sense. Everyone has their own unique circumstances.
A person who is not obsessive will likely better be able to deal with the occasional unread/unanswered message and move on (granted if there truly is no grounds to think that their partner is actually avoiding them).
@@aries2242 fax
It's sad that some people don't believe in movie-like real life love stories..
@@kaviasizach8490 No printer 😎
If the other person isn’t reciprocating your love as they used to then it turns into obsession. Stay woke, people. You don’t just turn obsessive out of the blue especially when you noticed that you weren’t like that in the beginning, but rather you gradually became that. They started offering you less now that they have you and it made you crave more for what it once was. It hurts to see these people blaming themselves to be the problem. Please refuse to be a victim of love bombing. Don’t self-diagnose but be self-aware. Please know your worth. I’m not saying everything is the other person’s fault but everything is a two way street and for every action there’s an equal reaction.
This is so true. Thanks for saying that. I'm sure it isn't only me who's been bumming myself out bc of this video.
This is exactly how I feel about it. I do realize that I became obsessive but it resulted from things not being what they used to be and me chasing how it was. That and a slew of other things. Regardless though I do realize how obsessive I was and do feel like I was lacking severely in self love and self worth which made it very hard to leave but I honestly can say I see where we both went wrong.
Thanks a lot. I wouldn't find that connection without you. The fact that she just didn't love me back as much as I loved her makes sense. I didn't want to lose her so I just became more obsessed.
I have a hard time recognizing obsession from love. For me it seems like obsession is just stronger love. How can you love someone so much that you never want to lose them but at the same time not be obsessed? I just don't get that.
Honestly- the first time I’ve ever even heard those words in that order of a sentence and started crying. Over the past 4 to 5 years I constantly blamed myself for the way I am, and wowww it makes so much sense. It all started when my ex fell out of love with me 9 months into the relationship, and never told me. But I could see it in their eyes, the way they would talk to me, the way they wouldn’t even look at me. Even the way that she would look to the side when we kissed. Ahhh thank you for helping me come to this realization- of course, part of it is on me, but I think that also contributed to my obsession
True love❤:
ruclips.net/video/l6jc577T-1s/видео.html
Thank you for making this Video.
I recently got out of an ugly relationship. This Video helped me realise that he wasn't in love, he was obsessed. Thank you for this video this helped me get over what I thought I did wrong but was never in the wrong.
This has saved me from false guilt that I have for my previous relationship. Thank you again.
Some 3 or 4 years from now(just in case...) let him apologise to move on if u can ...
Most relationships start in an obsessed mode, those who fail to mature into love should breakup or else they'll end up in divorce or abuse.
Truest comment ever
mallu🙄😜 I have seen u in mallu analyst comment box🤗
@@zeishaalex6374 പിന്നല്ലാ! Mallu analyst fan 💙
@@soupyun so sad that obsession is marketed as true love
@@deepadcruz6483 and in recent malayalam it's potraying heavily. No I should say in Indian films. Crappy romantic drama😏
It took me awhile to realize how poorly I was acting in my relationship. I used to want them with me constantly because I was scared they’d leave me forever otherwise (this stems from abandonment issues). I didn’t realize it at first but once I did I corrected the behavior immediately. That made our relationship so much better and I’ve learned to trust them ever more because of it :) Love, and relationships in general, are a learning experience. So long as you acknowledge what you’re doing, and correct it, it will get better! And it will bring you closer together!
how did you correct it? i'm very obsessive and it's starting to hurt our relationship. i love him, i really do but im very obsessive
🙌
Same thoo omg..just that, still working on a 'trust'..
Good on you for correcting the behavior :)
@@mysticalkatie1847 well if He said he wanted to leave and you gult Trip him then yes but if not you have a phobia
Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers, single fathers, pet mom out there!
How are you guys celebrating today?
Cooking with her a lot :)
Though I can't really express my love for her
But I do really love my mom
Be happy always ❤️
Psych2Go ...laundry, bike ride, contacting legal assistance for my daughter, and finishing an assignment that I submitted earlier. I hope others had a fun filled day ...filled with joy +love ❤.Happy Mother's Day...everyone !
My mom died so i celebrate with my grandma ❤💓❤💓💓
me and my two mothers watched films today! we did also cook lunch together!
I use to be obsessed and possessive with someone, I'd always be angry and jealous when he talked to someone else other than me, I had violent thoughts about the person they talked to. Even just him looking at someone else sometimes got to me. (reason being due to abandonment issues) I was always scared he'd find someone else or someone would try and take him. I tried driving a wedge between his friends and us so my mind was safe that he wouldn't leave me. Healthy relationships require boundaries, I didn't respect any of his at all back then. It was a horrible part of my life but that was years ago and now I've changed for the better, I realised how toxic I was back then and regret all of it. Surprisingly we both still talk to each other as friends now and are on good terms.
Man, I just realized that I'm obsessed. Not with a partner, but with my friends. I have horrible anxiety (diagnosed, mind you) and I always worry when they don't text me back immediately, or I check every five seconds. I know it's dumb, but a part of my brain is convinced that they hate me and only put up with me out of pity.
Same.. They just started matching pfps with someone. I'm dying.
@@haphephobia im so sorry bb
@@jja120 It's okie, I'm getting over it
Me too,
I feel that. Something that helps is turning off the phone and doing something YOU like to do. Take time to think about yourself, what you need to improve, how to love yourself, how to cope, etc. When the thoughts start invading, just say "whatever" or "okay Karen" (btw, for those with intrusive thoughts, this may help too).
Some people just don't know how to be alone, or absolutely fear abandonment and fear that they will never find another person because of very low self esteem.
It’s me. I’m “people”
I get angry thinking about this stuff because I am always single. And everybody else never is it gets annoying. I just try to act like I don't see it.
@@ichoosemysanity6467 the trick is that most of em are unhappy too
Bpd sucks
no, some of us are women with biological clocks, dealing with an abundance of trash men who aren't mature and ready to start a family. when we see a gem, we try everything to scoop them up because they're so rare!
Im too possessive. I hope my ex is happy now that she’s not with me. I’ll try to fix myself and stop being so possessive
super uplifting
Good luck !!!!!!
finding myself in the same situation mate, good luck for us
The first step to change or stopping any addiction, is to admit: so you are already well on your way! Good job and keep it up!! :) ;)
Amy Self :)) thank you 💕
I'll be the first to admit i was definitely obsessive with my first long term relationship, both of us in the relationship were. It took a long time to see how unhealthy the relationship was but thankfully we went our separate ways and are getting the help we need. Thanks for the videos Psych2go they're super insightful and give hope for us trying to better our lives 💗
I wanted to see If i'm just obsessed rather than in love with him
when you realize you are not that obsessed one,that you really like him ❤️ now im more as sure
Bruh I’m too insecure to be obsessed with him and show it.
same. What helped to really assess my feelings towards my guy was too take a few days without communication. If you can do it longer, the better. I also had to re assess my behavior of neediness towards him. After U realized that I became needy, I quickly apologized. I took a few days off from communication with him as well. I was anxious all the time, though. But after a free days to a week, I realized I do love the man. All I want is his happiness, I'll give it to him freely without demanding for the same thing. Having him in my life in whichever form is enough for me. As long as I can put a smile on his face and heart
is it bad that i’m watching this to find out if i’m in love with someone and not obsessed with them instead?
edit: just came back and saw the replies. thanks everyone for being so nice and giving me constructive advice♥️ i really appreciate it:,)
not at all, in fact I'd say it's the right call, I wish I had this kind of content back when I was in a relationship (almost 6 years ago) so I've could know I was doing something wrong.
You watching this shows you really care, not only for other's sake, but for your own as well.
It's good that you try to find this out because when you know what you do wrong you can work it out and also you find out if it's you or maybe your partner
Same to me. Luckily it is love.
v n it’s ok me too lol
No that's very good. You analise yourself and most people actually don't. Good job! :)
Love is about freedom
Obsession is about captivity
Choose freedom, not the shackles.
Im glad I'm slowly becoming a better person and learning about myself so I can better my relationship I have with my partner. I suffer from mental issues as well as it being so recent. However she knows and understands, and is willing to help me. I'm also learning that accepting help is also a great thing. It's tough but we all got this
Me: *sees title*
Also me: Bold of you to assume someone there's someone who doesn't ignore me
King of the Multiverse Forever
Can relate
In my opinion, this is one of the biggest factors of distinguishing between love and obsession - the level of respect for individual boundaries. The former has respect for it. The latter, not so much, if at all.
I was searching for comments mentioning boundary issue :). IMO this is the root of the issue, not respecting (the obsessed party) and not setting (the one being obsessed) boundaries. It takes a lot of maturity to spot boundary issue early on and to respect it or enforce it.
It has something to do with a control mechanism of sorts. They are probably insecure with themselves so they attach themselves to you.
Maybe for the image, while you may not feel the same. You know take for instance, why would anyone want to take a picture with you ?
What if.. someone is willing to give that respect to you & you don't even possess feelings for that person to begin with? Actually, I'm having such case but I noticed easily that this guy Ik doesn't really give a f*** to my feelings & is someone who just wants to talk with me because he feels lonely. Okay I do that. I wanna help him too but when he gets better, it just feels like he want me to be there to just "lift up his mood" while Idk why I was never even interested in him although I do felt what he was feeling. Seemed like a past image of mine who has to work on to but I think it's just his nature which wouldn't gonna be changing that easily... *sign*
@@devashrijoshi9079 I'm not a professional by any means so if it were me I'd just take what I'm about to say with a grain of salt as this is coming from my own learned experiences. In my opinion, you are under no obligation to reciprocate your feelings back to him, especially if you're honest about it with good moral, health and wellbeing reasons. Now that doesn't mean turning him down with malice and impoliteness/disrespect. I'd say be honest with how you feel about him, even if they're ill feelings. You can admit that "you see your old unideal self when you see him in his current self and not fulfilling his potential" and that it hurts you, especially if there's very little self-responsibility taken to make improvements for oneself - I see no malicious harm in that (rather it's harmful in that it sucks and feels shitty to be told that you can do better than who you currently are... but that's not a malicious or "bad" type of harm). I think it's crucial to be honest/truthful whenever possible because it ensures that everyone relevant or involved is on the same page... and whoever likes it or not, that's their problem. That said, that doesn't mean being rude and cruel and telling him to get f**ked or anything like that (unless he acts and/or has consistently acted upon criminally immoral behaviour, then that's pretty reasonable disgust response in those circumstances I'd say). That level of hatred, especially for long periods, probably won't do you any good for your sense of stability/balance, peace and strength either. So yeah I say be honest with your words whilst being as reasonably polite as you can, what he can improve on in your honest opinion as suggestions, remind him that he's responsible for his own life and actions (in the most encouraging way possible though, with negative and positive aspects included), and wish him the very best. And if he doesn't hassle you anymore, then I think there's no need to go after him if you don't want to or think it's good for your wellbeing/sanity. If he still hassles you... then what I've explained is a good start to standing your ground and enforcing respectful boundaries in my opinion. If he appears to take it well, that's great. If not and acts rudely/disrespectfully to your own eyes (you assess what you can tolerate), then ask him that whilst his feelings are understandable his behaviours aren't and that it's his choice to either make matters worse or make matters less worse... but "I'm not going to hang around and accept your behaviour as my responsibility". Having said all that... it's your choice. My advice can be taken, partially taken, or dismissed altogether. It's your choice. What I will say is that it's understandable to feel/be scared, confused and angry about this situation - because, to me, it indeed sounds like a sticky problem. I wish you all the best and hope it is resolved in the most helpful manner possible. And if anything goes maliciously pear shaped, get out and call the police. Apologies for the long winded reply... I hope it helps in some way, however small. And, if you want, please correct/advise me if I'm wrong about how I've interpreted your situation. Cheers.
Me after watching the video: Guess I don't have a girlfriend anymore.
Carton Riley literally such facts
Never had one.
i mean some people can be just very attached and insecure. you should talk with her and tell her how you feel, maybe they still love you and just have another problem.
A lot of these problems are also from previous trust issues. She may love you but is worried you dont love her back, therefore doing these things.
No
This is such an eye opener for me! As a Scorpio, I’m really trying to detach from the stereotype of being possessive and obsessive. Understanding that I should just go with the flow and not really rush things so early. Thank you so much for this video.❤️
Zodiacs arent even real just focus on improving yourself.
What do zoadic signs have to do with this-
@@animesimp6610 Fr imagine rejecting a good person just because of a zodiac
Don't let space racism control your life
@@Duran762 FACTS FACTS
I ran away so fast when this man said he loved me the first night I met him 😳
Well....I can relate...... there's this lad..... keeps telling me he loves me already when I barely knew him for a month......I tried to stay away from him.....and tried my best......but after that he kept apologizing for scaring me off.......he keeps helping me even though I retaliate.....he respect the boundaries....like.....in around six months of knowing him....he not even once tried to hold my hand or even touch........... keeps helping me with books..... but keeps telling me he hopes one day I can accept him...... and trust me I don't believe I deserve him..... he's better....on top of our class....had everything....like...I'm so confused....why he does all this....if it's real...or he will just use me once I accept......when I ask him why me....he keeps saying....he fell for me ever since I introduced myself to class on first day of University...and was trying to get to talk to me .....
Goodness.....I'm so done with this
@@Priya-wf5nz You either accept him or reject him. There's no grey area here. There's no point in waiting coz at the end of the day you're stressing yourself while giving him hope at the same time.
@@alanstuart2942 thank you for the reply......
I actually did accept him few days back......and.....I must say....I don't regret it.....I'm happy. Though there are gonna be difficulties ahead.... let's see
@@Priya-wf5nz That's great. Good luck!
@@Priya-wf5nz There's a reason he's so clingy find out and deal with that before getting more serious.
To everyone reading this:
Have a great day/life and stay strong 💕
Thank youu! 💓
• Blossom • awww. you too!
Thank you!❤
When you realize YOU'RE the obsessed one...
Same🤧🤧
Me, i feel bad with him. I always want to be in touch with him because we are in long distance relationship but now i realise that i am toxic and obsessed with him.
Same 😒
Sora Ryu It’s really good that you’re aware of that, kudos to you
@@fluidsings7870 Ikr? 😇
I was worried that I was obsessed. And it turns out that I am. I never understood why my relationship ended and I know now why. I needed this. Thank you.
Damn, I used to be an obsessive partner to someone, we weren't in a offical relationship but we treated each other like we were one. Actually, I treated our relationship like that.
I texted them everyday, just wanting to know how they were doing. If they didn't respond within the next hour I'd get angry or anxious although I never texted them about it.
I also gave them things, I never wanted them to give me stuff because I wanted to show that I was a good potential partner. But all their responses were one-sided and at times and they got uncomfortable too.
Eventually they cut ties with me saying that they didn't love me. I was really hurt for several months but now I realize that they left me for a good reason. I didn't love them, I was just obsessed... I hope one day I'll have the confidence to apologize.
I get you. I'm a love obsession, I don't know how that developed. But I just knew it right now, now I wanna cut offs with him. I don't know how:((
I'm also love obsessed and I ruined my relationship that way sadly
I think we've all been there......it's my first love. Then I realized that I didn't love him, I just went over to the feeling that my crush for a very long time finally noticed me(I didn't tried things to get noticed though, he went to me)..........I don't want to loose him, so I did everything(except for the texts or calls). I give everything to him, I am a one call away too.---and at the end, he ghosted me(leave without explanation).
Damn, i can't relate to you man but i really hope that you'll get the chance to apologize.
I left my obsessive partner because the relationship was too suffocating, lost all of my friends and when we fought, i get upset and end up taking it out on my family. I wasn't happy and we were in an on and off relationship. (Just sharing this so that you can get an insight on the other side of things ^^)
U dont know how much i relate to this and its kind of sad. Hoping ur better!
I never felt obsessed with someone, but two partners were severly obsessed with me, I think I was very submissive. But now I've a boyfriend who is really in love with me
My ex would start fights every time I wanted to hang out with my friends and it was so traumatizing I literally had to cut my friends off and I’m still afraid to make friends now
yeah and its up to a point now that i meet my friends behind his back
@@lindag6667 THATS NOT A LOVING RELATIONSHIP THATS A HOSTAGE SITUATION! YOU DESERVE TO BE AWAY FROM THAT CONTROL FREAK!
yeah dame with me. i used to think im obsessive until i seen this and so far i relate to none of these. i thought i was obsessed but it was just love and they told me i wad obsessrd
Let's see if I am in love or obsessed. I love that your videos always come up right after I've started to think about these topics. I am using all of your videos to psychoanalyze anyone around me as well as psychoanalyzing myself.
I noticed I was thinking of her and missing her all the time in the beginning, so I just mentioned the idea of taking a day off from each other and she said "if you think I'm too much tell me right now".
So we didn't, we kept talking everyday for around 3 months. She even was the one proposing many romantic things. But things were going smoothly and we loved each other in equal manners, it was really balanced.
Until in a matter of a week she started acting cold and distant herself, so me noticing I was losing her starting running after her and consequently acted like I was obsessing with her. But I was just missing the intimacy we had before, being accused of being obsessed with her and that being a huge red flag.
But it wasn't like that in the beginning.
Whatever, even if it's true or not. I'm going to learn from this. Experience is experience
Amen.
That's exactly what happened to me.. at the beginning I really liked it and didn't really saw a love relationship than she began saying romantic words ect I was happy... Then suddenly she became distant and she doesn't know what she wants so it hurt that now I'm the one thinking about her and idealize her when she lives her life
Damn same thing happened with me too 😂 thought things werent working out, so i said we should take a break.... which somehow turned into messaging everyday, always at the same time... and the only thing keeping me in this relationship is because they say things that flatter or compliment me... damn i should probably bail out of this huh-
True love❤:
ruclips.net/video/l6jc577T-1s/видео.html
That happened to me. My bf got really distant for a while and I felt like I was chasing after him and his attention for a bit. I didn't feel loved and ended up having a discussion with him over it. He wasn't aware and was upset and got better about it. We're doing fine now but I don't really think I completely healed from jt
I became obsessed with somebody "who got away". 3 years after we stopped having contact I idolized the "relationship", adding feelings and things that were not there. He recently reached out to say hi and I realized that I never loved him and that I was in love with the concept of love and the idea of him, but not actually him.
* Looks at sign one *: * me and my worried self thinking i did something wrong when someone doesn’t answer my texts *
....Well... sh**!
I mean me I just hate when they stop texting abruptly with no gtg or something
Yes, I understand too. But in the video, it tells someone obsessed becomes agressive like answer "Why don't you answer ? Am I important to you ?" in the few following minutes.
And I oop sorry bro
Can relate
That could just be anxiety. I always get super nervous when someone doesn't answer my texts...
there’s a difference between being obsessive and toxic tho- a lot of people with fear of a abandonment can be obsessive with their partners because they’re afraid they will just leave or not really care for them. it can be very internalized and it certainly can be worked on. most of the times it comes from a place of care rather than possession
i know what its like to be in so much love with someone that it makes you come off as obsessive but thats nothing like whats talked about in the video. once you learn to catch yourself you can snap out of it, too bad i cant find anyone who appreciates that kind of selflessness
I know but keep hoping you will find one someday
Thank you so much for saying this. I sometimes used to feel (not so much anymore) obsessed with someone but not in the way the video puts it at all. It was rather that the person was a new person in my life and I liked the personality they had, so I often felt the urge to spend my time with them. But not in the way I would limit them from doing their stuff - I usually wouldn't even tell them I want to spend time with them. I just waited till I had the oportunity and took it. But I could feel how attached I am to them and felt bad for it and then I wasn't sure if they realise it, so I sort of just backed up after a while. So basically, I never made THEM feel bad or uncomfortable, always only MYSELF. Strange thing. But I learnt how to be different and much less like that.
Everyone eventually interprets love and obsession in their own terms. We use these terms to justify how we treat or are treated by others. We fool ourselves so much in life and relationships that romantic love becomes impossible to communicate and is merely an exercise in semantic futility. So from the height of mania to the depth of despair we journey, like moths to the flame.
This video made me feel a lot better about myself, mainly because I used to do a few things on this list with my exes. Those were my first relationships so I didn’t know what I was doing and got way too attached, possessive and jealous. Since then I’ve stopped doing all those things, and now I can see that I’ve done a lot of self growth. Even though I can get really paranoid at times when my current boyfriend doesn’t respond or is busy, I now realize that you know; he has a life, and just because he can’t spend every minute of the day with me doesn’t mean he hates me.
I’m trying to train myself to become less possessive and over protective of partners, so I can be a better girlfriend in the future. I love my boyfriend so much and I want to do the best I can to be supportive of him, and make his life better :))
Why am I watching this? Literally no one looks at me lol
I’m looking at you, I already know so much about you... like how your not a weeb
True
What are your thoughts after watching this video? :)
@@Psych2go First this is impressive that you take time to respond to your comments lol, and I don't really think anything, I've learned things but those are just that I ain't obsessed with anyone and that no one is obsessed with me, even if your videos are great lmao
She always brought up "It's supposed to be like the movies.." "That's not what happens in the movies.." I'm heartbroken..
Bruh, sorry to be rude but i can sense that something is wrong with her
@@ezrairene5503 A skewed expectation based on movies because her ex boyfriends always treated her like trash on the street and tossed her aside so she started dreaming of a relationship like the movies, and it never panned out that way when I started dating her, even though I did my best to be the best she'd ever had (I was the best, but also even I still made mistakes, and she made mistakes). In the end, she was too immature and not ready for a relationship. Where as I, knew exactly what I wanted and tried my best to change for the better and work on us and improve the relationship so it lasted a long time. But here I am, miles away from her now, and heart broken..
@@DaysofKnight oh my, i feel sorry for both of you. I hope my previous question doesn't stir up any unwanted feelings.
@@ezrairene5503 It's still very fresh, barely even a month yet.. I lost my "One" so.. You didn't bring any unwanted feelings up, they haven't even left yet..
@@DaysofKnight Hopefully, it gets better for you, whatever way possible...
this was me. i’m slowly growing and maturing from my old immature ways. thanks for this video
Me too... I was overly attached to someone who was also manipulative towards me. Well, I still suffer of extreme anxiety and I tremble everytime I talk to that person. I think I should seek professional help.. I don't want to be this way
honestly same here with me. i’m in the process of undoing all the shit i did
I was recently diagnosed with borderline and now it finally makes sense why I behaved how it is described in this video. I think its important to say that these patterns often occur with people who have borderline and that they need therapy to understand themselves better.
Good luck on your healing journey!
@@colettelee1162 thank you 😊
I was diagnosed with depression but not yet borderline cause of coronavirus, but as I kept years looking for this personality disorder which fucked up my relationships (and I always knew I could have it because of my childhood and mood problems), the depression got away and will come again. I noticed It too, even the video could be calling me unmature when I am not at all, but people with borderline just react, sometimes we can not think at all before doing something, while idealizing or hating. The worst are the delusions, and me hating on myself when I do certain things, not things I hate but ones the persecutory delusions tell me. I'm receiving therapy soon and I hope you do too.
@@ainhoasanchez03 @Beggy I was thinking similarly... my partner also has borderline as well as anxiety and y'all both cleared things up. They're in therapy but alot of the time I don't really know what to do when they break down or if I should be calling them on stuff or not
@@ericahertzberg9390 :( I understand, sometimes you gotta leave them alone or they'll hurt you but others you gotta be there with them or they'll do something risky. I don't know if I'm right tho since it's just what I know.
This is so accurate, if you don't answer their text within 2 minutes, they're going to think you're cheating one them
It’s you again
with your unfunny comments
Ur everywhere
get tf out
and u using alt accounts to like yo comment
I think I'm in love with the narrator's voice she's so calming and clear with what she's talking about, you could be an audible reader with a voice this soothing :) x
I was obsessed but when he left me ..my heart started love him ...without expecting love from his side☺
Yeah its true that we realized that we love someone when they're gone
????? huh? I don't mean to disrespect, but this could be areally good novel trope! If I may suggest, try writing, (its therapeutic, and who knows, maybe you'll end up becoming a best seller author!!!!!!!! it will look more realistic now that you have experience. i am not making a joke! God bless you!)
@@milinaanilim8774 lmao nice suggestion
Timestamps for everyone!
0:32 - 1. They hate unanswered messages
1:05 - 2. They are emotionally immature
1:35 - 3. They take without giving
2:24 - 4. They romanticize the relationship
2:52 - 5. They control you with guilt
3:17 - 6. They are obsessed with status
3:50 - 7. They make false promises
thanks
i get upset when my bf goes to hang out with other people, maybe it's because i don't hang out with anyone or because im scared of them cheating. but i always want them to go out and have fun, so it's challenging lol but i'm learning to be ok with them having their own friends and life, and im getting better at it.
I am 100% in the same boat. I want my gf to grow and become a better version of her self and have good experiences with her friends and meet people but I find my self feeling jealous or left out in some way. I try not to show it and combat these feelings without it interfering with our relationship but it gets super hard sometimes. I do worry that I might lean towards obsessive sometimes but on the other hand I do know I truly love her for the person she is.
True love❤:
ruclips.net/video/l6jc577T-1s/видео.html
I had all of the seven signs. This was the reason of my relationship falling through and I’m glad to be learning from my mistakes.
My first relationship, I was obsessed with my boyfriend. After that, I learned to reign myself up
I was obsessed with him and when I figured out my therapy started so now I'm learning to love him cause the two of us really deserve healthy love ❤️
I went from love to obsession in 5 years, because she loved me less and less :(
Then she wasnt the right one a true partner is when she or he loves you every day no matter what happens between you
u can have me lonely bitch 🙈🐒
Aw :( that's hard.. and the fact she can blame it on you when you are just noticing the changes..
She fell out of love with you and you can’t accept it.
How did you notice ? How long did you guys date for ? Was it for a reason like did you guys have problems or she just stopped loving you ? I’m not trying to be in your business but I am in a similar situation and I want advice. Thank you!
Sometimes they’re just obsessed with you and want to use you for their own personal gain. I figured that out in high school.
NPD - that’s what is described in here. But it’s far worse than “just” obsession. Run for the hills. It’s not and never will be love
Some people just love the idea of you, it’s ok tho. At least you loved unconditionally.
Yo if that’s u in ur pfp, ur hot
No homo😳
jada schoppe it’s me I love u ty
Cel anytimeeee girl, do u have insta? 👉🏽👈🏽
I just love this voice, It just calms me down instantaneously
When you found out that you are the one obsessed .. *sigh*😞
Ryoko Ryo ;D ikr 😔
How many signs did you relate to?
3/7
@@byydbck that's probably just beeing a little more jealous then most people
@@kayt5284 for you same
I used to be the person who was extremely bad were i thought I needed someone else to make me love myself and thought I needed someone else to bring a side of me out that I would love... I emotionally tore the person I was with up and I immediately broke things with us because I felt really bad because I seen what I was doing. I let my own self hatred and anxiety tear us both apart. We are now close friends and I'm trying my hardest to better myself and try to find love for myself so I can truly love another.... It's honestly really hard but I know it'll be worth it.
I had a girlfriend who shows all of these traits. She was so mean to me.
And then when I didnt give her what she wanted she dumped me :/
wow thats just bad!
The art in these videos are incredible honestly they relax me so much