Such an important topic on an essential human process. As i am coming to understand it. We can only love another as much as we authenticly love ourselves. Then, when we meet another/others who also strive to love authenticly AND we support and encourage the other(s) to live our best lives, love IS ours, for a reason, a season or a lifetime. 💞
Thank you for an hour loaded with nuggets of great information and actions to consider in manifesting an ideal partner! So much resonated with me and provided insights of where I need to reflect and grow more. I’ll be re-watching to take notes as the points made were numerous. You guys are doing great work! Thank you for being you!!
I feel the same way, Matt because I used to attract narcissists testing my boundaries and those experiences taught me to express my wants and needs in a relationship at the risk of losing that relationship (codependency). Michael speaks for me regarding an authentic relationship consisting of emotional intelligence, safety, and vulnerability sharing. I want to experience water rebirthing with that person and feel like we are "home".
Gratitude. "Less force, more flow." Soul-mates. Needs versus wants. Vibrational match. Universe energy. So much good food for thought. Lately, I guess I've been attracted to alpha males, just as I have always liked people with strong personalities. However, I've had to recently curtail my involvement with an online social influencer because he has devolved into someone with a toxic effect on me. I'm seeing a side of him that I had not noticed before, like possibly narcissism, when I have tried to become emotionally closer to him. Instead, I'm seeing an almost self-destructive person who doesn't embrace his authentic self, possibly trying to be somebody he is not. Finally, what Michael notes about different paths to finding someone really resonates with me. It's very reassuring. Great episode!
I met my husband in an LGBTQ+ alumni event 6 years ago this December. It was in a restaurant, but it turned out that we actually went to two different halloween parties that year, he actually talked to my best friend, and then we ran into each other again like 10 days after that in a Christmas party. So if that was not the universe setting us up, idk what it was! Empathy, emotional intelligence and safety… I could not have put it in a better way, Michael. Thanks for another excellent episode, guys! Good vibes.
I met a guy named Matt. We had been on the same softball league, but never met in two years. On my last day in Detroit I was at a softball event a bar with my teammates. I got up for something & returned to an empty table. My teammates had left without saying good-bye. I went back in to the bar and met Matt. We talked for hours. I walked out smitten with him and (I found out later) he fell for me. 13 years later I was newly divorced and he reached out. He's engaged to another man. He wanted to meet to see if the magic was still there. That went from "OMG! Yes!" to "That's a red flag."
Yes about feeling like you’re cheating on your person. Mine has manifested more in feelings of missing out on the connection with my soul mate, but that feels closely aligned with what Matt was saying.
Great talk… someone told me once “For a plant to grow it needs to accept love, water, sun and room. It also needs to be in the Right Spot. Believe you are in the right spot.”
Thanks guys. This was so enlightening, especially about feeling we deserve love to the point of attracting it as a "vibrational match". I've naturally settled in that state described by Michael where I'm disinterested in dating and I'm occupied with working on myself. Without realising it, I'm ultimately working towards feeling that I totally deserve love and not feeling like I'm tricking myself or the universe.
That's a great space to be in because ultimately, it's impossible to 'trick' the universe. Surely the work on yourself will yield something positive in your life.
Love is genderless, sexless, and ageless; anything else is an illusion. Looking for an ideal partner, for most of us, specially those of us looking for a sexual partner; all we are doing is setting limits of love's true and full potential. Talking from my own experiences and failures with love; my past biggest fault was not being able to love my love partners for who they were as a person. Loving or accepting someone for who they are is not easy by all means; specially if you are still struggling to love yourself.. I am grateful to have turned 60 this year, thou; as my perspective of love and my worth of a potential love partner had changed. Learning to appreciate the company and the person for who they are is a priority in my love life. I am by nature still a very sexual person; but I have learned to divert that energy to love. Looking back at past relationships where I briefly felt a deep emotional and spiritual connection; I can honestly say that those two types of connections did enhanced my sexual drive by a two fold.
It's beautiful to hear about your personal journey and how it's changed your perspective on love and relationships. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. 🙌
Thank you so much! Your message brings warmth to our hearts, and we're thrilled that you love the episode. We aim to expand the podcast's reach to help more guys like you. If you could take a moment to give the show a 5-star rating and leave a review on the platform you're using, it would be incredibly appreciated! PS: If it’s on Apple, here’s the link: podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/gay-men-going-deeper/id1535102476 Thanks again for your kind words! Enjoy the show!
I needed this episode SO bad, thank you!!! Btw, my two favorite quotes were "You can't trick the Universe" and "are we using relationships just to fill our holes" 😅
❤❤ such a good conversation. I remember jumping inside when I had seen this title as a notification on your channel a few days back but also instantly got scared like how Matt shared he may be blocking it out of fear. Some points I liked- when Michael talked about the authentic desire vs more superficial desire and the countering with the long term thinking. Loved the soul mate discussion and matt's definition of codependency. It was a beautiful conversation and I feel like I really manifested this conversation by you'll and I probably am going to hear it again but wanted to share first
Thank you for doing all this important work . You keep mentioning how these men come into your life but from where! Grocery store , walking your dog, hardware store, at work?
If the idea of potentially falling in love makes you feel guarded (blocked, distant), maybe take it very slow at your own comfortable pace and give yourself space. Some people are like that and cannot rush. For me, it is almost exactly the same. If someone is rushing with dates, for example, I feel nervous and begin to close off myself. However, there is hope that some men can understand and go easy. It takes some adjustment to get comfortable in relationships for HSPs and loving people do exist. Matt, you appear manly and grounded (very attractive features) for me on the screen. I hope you meet someone, who gets you and will give some space to adjust. Maybe with some flexibility it will work to find such person.
This is a great episode, i don't understand all the bad comments lol, guess it just reiterates the importance of your work. It's not easy to meet people and even less so people that not want to just hook up, maybe because of the loneliness epidemic among gay men where there's tremendous scarcity of connections both platonic and romantic.
I love what Matt said @57:52. It's easy, or at least sounds easy to suggest that one is "disconnected" from Source, as if that's really at all possible, if you're not "trauma informed" and oftentimes amongst most spiritual teachers, that is overlooked and I dare say ignored, and if it is addressed, it comes off as close to blaming the victims of said trauma because they weren't aware enough of it to change it right away. Sometimes, I can't always get with what Abraham Hicks says, though I do understand what her intentions are.
@@GayMenGoingDeeper I do and am still watching. Thank you for discussing an interesting topic. It resonates with my current work aimed to understand what exactly am I looking for in a relationship. An emotional connection is definitely one of those things.
I have recently come out. I have met someone who I really like but not sure if he really feeling the same. I have so little experience not sure what to do I am older
VERY informative !! 'god' do I wish more gays would watch their diets and intake of alcohol ! ! ! I try hard to eat healthy, drink in moderation.... and I'm treated as the odd-man 'cuz I don't like what 'most gay men like.'..... Hope millions listen to this and start a new healthy return to the healthy gyms & nutrition routines (not aiming for Tom of Finland looks)..... AND show more respect and encouragement to us 'mature' gays!
Does your sp have to be into you or be an ex? The sp I have in mind is attracted to girls .. I haven’t seen much content about this so should I just give up ?
I've been " looking " for 9 years. I'm 61 now and throwing in the towel. No one wants a relationship anymore just sex. So fed up. So now I too just hook up. If u can't beat em join em I guess.
I am not young or beautiful, so establishing meaningful social contacts among gay men (of any intimacy level) is extraordinarily difficult. Seeking treatment in order to "knock my edges off" and to make myself bland enough to manifest ANY partner (let alone an ideal one) requires a winning lottery ticket. Besides, the fundamental flaw of therapy is that the boundaries of reality are steadfastly consistent before and after one's investment of time and money. So, regardless of the decades of agony spent fawning over unattainable straight guys and screaming at the universe "Where is MY partner?!?" I have to assume that I am not the target demographic for this video. Yet another dead end.
How human was design/ it is easy to see/ woman design for men the parts fits / men and men do not fit/ we are a result of woman and men not two coming together/ that is mature way / that is y like changes repel each other/ complementary in our lifes / our way is twisted against nature that is wrong / thay is y we force entry in to things and use exit for entrance
All this metaphysical gobbledygook just confuses people in my opinion. Meeting someone is pure circumstance, and people are simply not compatible with one another. It doesn't necessarily have to translate as "i attracted the wrong person" or "I dated a narcissist and that's MY FAULT because I didn't have enough 'boundaries'. True, attitude and boundaries accounts for a lot, but let's face it, narcissists are simply out there and sometimes it's just bad luck that we cross paths with them, even if you have 'set the intention' (more trendy new age lingo that appeals to people who think they are 'witches' lol) ... Also, the way Michael talks about law of attraction reveals he is not very deep, if only life was some magical perfect fairy land that he lives in, where we smile, wave a magic wand and attract anything we want LOL. Including a 2-story apartment with wall-to-wall mirrors. A lot of people - homosexual men included - are broken and lonely and looking for love as a way to heal and fix what's wrong. What about them? is it THEIR 'fault' that they can't get their needs met because they are not practicing the 'law of attraction' properly? I think it is, frankly, bullshit because it ultimately translates to: "IT MUST BE *MY* FAULT THAT MATTHEW HAS A BOYFRIEND AND I DONT!" Take away the 'law of attraction' and 1. there's no guilt for something we have no control over and 2. we don't feed this toxic new age agenda, Ie: "I'M SINGLE SO I NEED TO GO OUT AND BUY SOME LAW OF ATTRACTION BOOKS!" ..... "AND SPEAK TO MY GURU!!" ..... "I NEED TO PAY MY SPIRITUAL TEACHER / LIFE COACH MORE MONEY SO I GET HELP I NEED!!!"...LOL....It's just human nature to need love and there's no happily ever after story ending but i think you guys should keep it simple. BOUNDARIES and ACTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS. There are a lot of grifters who need to maintain their NEW AGE BULLSHIT in order to sell books, services and internet memberships. Don't become like them. On that note, Teal swan, she's a known cult leader and mercenary, I wouldn't even mention her, for the sake of your channel's reputation.
Such an important topic on an essential human process. As i am coming to understand it. We can only love another as much as we authenticly love ourselves. Then, when we meet another/others who also strive to love authenticly AND we support and encourage the other(s) to live our best lives, love IS ours, for a reason, a season or a lifetime. 💞
Thank you for an hour loaded with nuggets of great information and actions to consider in manifesting an ideal partner! So much resonated with me and provided insights of where I need to reflect and grow more. I’ll be re-watching to take notes as the points made were numerous. You guys are doing great work! Thank you for being you!!
I feel the same way, Matt because I used to attract narcissists testing my boundaries and those experiences taught me to express my wants and needs in a relationship at the risk of losing that relationship (codependency).
Michael speaks for me regarding an authentic relationship consisting of emotional intelligence, safety, and vulnerability sharing. I want to experience water rebirthing with that person and feel like we are "home".
I listened to all of these. Wholesome!
Grateful for you both and this podcast.
Gratitude. "Less force, more flow." Soul-mates. Needs versus wants. Vibrational match. Universe energy. So much good food for thought. Lately, I guess I've been attracted to alpha males, just as I have always liked people with strong personalities. However, I've had to recently curtail my involvement with an online social influencer because he has devolved into someone with a toxic effect on me. I'm seeing a side of him that I had not noticed before, like possibly narcissism, when I have tried to become emotionally closer to him. Instead, I'm seeing an almost self-destructive person who doesn't embrace his authentic self, possibly trying to be somebody he is not. Finally, what Michael notes about different paths to finding someone really resonates with me. It's very reassuring. Great episode!
As always loved the deep conversation of the two Geminis! Great topic
wasn't expecting to find another indian listener her, cheers
I met my husband in an LGBTQ+ alumni event 6 years ago this December. It was in a restaurant, but it turned out that we actually went to two different halloween parties that year, he actually talked to my best friend, and then we ran into each other again like 10 days after that in a Christmas party. So if that was not the universe setting us up, idk what it was! Empathy, emotional intelligence and safety… I could not have put it in a better way, Michael. Thanks for another excellent episode, guys! Good vibes.
OK, you two need to do a lot more videos together! I love your vibe!
I met a guy named Matt. We had been on the same softball league, but never met in two years. On my last day in Detroit I was at a softball event a bar with my teammates. I got up for something & returned to an empty table. My teammates had left without saying good-bye. I went back in to the bar and met Matt. We talked for hours. I walked out smitten with him and (I found out later) he fell for me. 13 years later I was newly divorced and he reached out. He's engaged to another man. He wanted to meet to see if the magic was still there. That went from "OMG! Yes!" to "That's a red flag."
Yes about feeling like you’re cheating on your person. Mine has manifested more in feelings of missing out on the connection with my soul mate, but that feels closely aligned with what Matt was saying.
Omg the folder thing 😊 I thought I was mad to do that
Great talk… someone told me once “For a plant to grow it needs to accept love, water, sun and room. It also needs to be in the Right Spot. Believe you are in the right spot.”
Focus on the feeling and not the details.. love this Michael
13:17 I like the comment made at this point in the talk
Thanks guys. This was so enlightening, especially about feeling we deserve love to the point of attracting it as a "vibrational match". I've naturally settled in that state described by Michael where I'm disinterested in dating and I'm occupied with working on myself. Without realising it, I'm ultimately working towards feeling that I totally deserve love and not feeling like I'm tricking myself or the universe.
That's a great space to be in because ultimately, it's impossible to 'trick' the universe. Surely the work on yourself will yield something positive in your life.
Love is genderless, sexless, and ageless; anything else is an illusion. Looking for an ideal partner, for most of us, specially those of us looking for a sexual partner; all we are doing is setting limits of love's true and full potential. Talking from my own experiences and failures with love; my past biggest fault was not being able to love my love partners for who they were as a person. Loving or accepting someone for who they are is not easy by all means; specially if you are still struggling to love yourself..
I am grateful to have turned 60 this year, thou; as my perspective of love and my worth of a potential love partner had changed. Learning to appreciate the company and the person for who they are is a priority in my love life.
I am by nature still a very sexual person; but I have learned to divert that energy to love. Looking back at past relationships where I briefly felt a deep emotional and spiritual connection; I can honestly say that those two types of connections did enhanced my sexual drive by a two fold.
It's beautiful to hear about your personal journey and how it's changed your perspective on love and relationships. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. 🙌
Beautiful episode. Thanks ❤
Thank you so much! Your message brings warmth to our hearts, and we're thrilled that you love the episode. We aim to expand the podcast's reach to help more guys like you. If you could take a moment to give the show a 5-star rating and leave a review on the platform you're using, it would be incredibly appreciated! PS: If it’s on Apple, here’s the link: podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/gay-men-going-deeper/id1535102476
Thanks again for your kind words! Enjoy the show!
This is one of the best episodes to date. I really appreciate Michael's suggestions to how one wants to feel within a relationship.
Thank you
I needed this episode SO bad, thank you!!! Btw, my two favorite quotes were "You can't trick the Universe" and "are we using relationships just to fill our holes" 😅
❤❤❤ thank you guys
Thank you for your support!
❤❤ such a good conversation. I remember jumping inside when I had seen this title as a notification on your channel a few days back but also instantly got scared like how Matt shared he may be blocking it out of fear. Some points I liked- when Michael talked about the authentic desire vs more superficial desire and the countering with the long term thinking. Loved the soul mate discussion and matt's definition of codependency. It was a beautiful conversation and I feel like I really manifested this conversation by you'll and I probably am going to hear it again but wanted to share first
And fear of abandonment is my biggest fear too
And the disclaimers by Michael towards the end
And that love is everywhere when you start looking for it
And the balance between manifesting and surrendering that Matt said
Thank you for doing all this important work .
You keep mentioning how these men come into your life but from where! Grocery store , walking your dog, hardware store, at work?
If the idea of potentially falling in love makes you feel guarded (blocked, distant), maybe take it very slow at your own comfortable pace and give yourself space. Some people are like that and cannot rush. For me, it is almost exactly the same. If someone is rushing with dates, for example, I feel nervous and begin to close off myself. However, there is hope that some men can understand and go easy. It takes some adjustment to get comfortable in relationships for HSPs and loving people do exist. Matt, you appear manly and grounded (very attractive features) for me on the screen. I hope you meet someone, who gets you and will give some space to adjust. Maybe with some flexibility it will work to find such person.
@@WynterFyre I may have somewhat misunderstood this part the guys discussed after all. Thanks for sharing a different perspective.
This is a great episode, i don't understand all the bad comments lol, guess it just reiterates the importance of your work.
It's not easy to meet people and even less so people that not want to just hook up, maybe because of the loneliness epidemic among gay men where there's tremendous scarcity of connections both platonic and romantic.
I'm still pretty much clueless at 36 and sometimes think time will pass with me not figuring out how it works. 😂
I love what Matt said @57:52.
It's easy, or at least sounds easy to suggest that one is "disconnected" from Source, as if that's really at all possible, if you're not "trauma informed" and oftentimes amongst most spiritual teachers, that is overlooked and I dare say ignored, and if it is addressed, it comes off as close to blaming the victims of said trauma because they weren't aware enough of it to change it right away.
Sometimes, I can't always get with what Abraham Hicks says, though I do understand what her intentions are.
Thank you both so much for this podcast.
Our pleasure!
Curious about your take on attracting a partner and having healthy relationship.
Hope you enjoyed the episode!
@@GayMenGoingDeeper I do and am still watching. Thank you for discussing an interesting topic. It resonates with my current work aimed to understand what exactly am I looking for in a relationship. An emotional connection is definitely one of those things.
GOOD stuff.
find a way to serve many people ❤❤❤
Why look for love if I'm already loved in the first place.
I have recently come out. I have met someone who I really like but not sure if he really feeling the same. I have so little experience not sure what to do I am older
You’re the first I’ve ever heard say what I’ve been saying for years…Abraham doesn’t account for trauma.
I am dying to know where you guys meet all these guys to date????????
VERY informative !! 'god' do I wish more gays would watch their diets and intake of alcohol ! ! ! I try hard to eat healthy, drink in moderation.... and I'm treated as the odd-man 'cuz I don't like what 'most gay men like.'..... Hope millions listen to this and start a new healthy return to the healthy gyms & nutrition routines (not aiming for Tom of Finland looks)..... AND show more respect and encouragement to us 'mature' gays!
Does your sp have to be into you or be an ex? The sp I have in mind is attracted to girls .. I haven’t seen much content about this so should I just give up ?
Listening to this just made me feel even more hopeless and depressed about relationships because I can’t even relate to what they’re talking about.
on a serious note, what's holding you guys back from dating?
I've been " looking " for 9 years. I'm 61 now and throwing in the towel. No one wants a relationship anymore just sex. So fed up. So now I too just hook up. If u can't beat em join em I guess.
I am not young or beautiful, so establishing meaningful social contacts among gay men (of any intimacy level) is extraordinarily difficult. Seeking treatment in order to "knock my edges off" and to make myself bland enough to manifest ANY partner (let alone an ideal one) requires a winning lottery ticket. Besides, the fundamental flaw of therapy is that the boundaries of reality are steadfastly consistent before and after one's investment of time and money. So, regardless of the decades of agony spent fawning over unattainable straight guys and screaming at the universe "Where is MY partner?!?" I have to assume that I am not the target demographic for this video. Yet another dead end.
LOL I liked these guys until he started talking about "his creator." I'm OUT.
As you get older you are not so attractive and you don't have to future you once had
How human was design/ it is easy to see/ woman design for men the parts fits / men and men do not fit/ we are a result of woman and men not two coming together/ that is mature way / that is y like changes repel each other/ complementary in our lifes / our way is twisted against nature that is wrong / thay is y we force entry in to things and use exit for entrance
All this metaphysical gobbledygook just confuses people in my opinion. Meeting someone is pure circumstance, and people are simply not compatible with one another. It doesn't necessarily have to translate as "i attracted the wrong person" or "I dated a narcissist and that's MY FAULT because I didn't have enough 'boundaries'. True, attitude and boundaries accounts for a lot, but let's face it, narcissists are simply out there and sometimes it's just bad luck that we cross paths with them, even if you have 'set the intention' (more trendy new age lingo that appeals to people who think they are 'witches' lol) ... Also, the way Michael talks about law of attraction reveals he is not very deep, if only life was some magical perfect fairy land that he lives in, where we smile, wave a magic wand and attract anything we want LOL. Including a 2-story apartment with wall-to-wall mirrors. A lot of people - homosexual men included - are broken and lonely and looking for love as a way to heal and fix what's wrong. What about them? is it THEIR 'fault' that they can't get their needs met because they are not practicing the 'law of attraction' properly? I think it is, frankly, bullshit because it ultimately translates to: "IT MUST BE *MY* FAULT THAT MATTHEW HAS A BOYFRIEND AND I DONT!" Take away the 'law of attraction' and 1. there's no guilt for something we have no control over and 2. we don't feed this toxic new age agenda, Ie: "I'M SINGLE SO I NEED TO GO OUT AND BUY SOME LAW OF ATTRACTION BOOKS!" ..... "AND SPEAK TO MY GURU!!" ..... "I NEED TO PAY MY SPIRITUAL TEACHER / LIFE COACH MORE MONEY SO I GET HELP I NEED!!!"...LOL....It's just human nature to need love and there's no happily ever after story ending but i think you guys should keep it simple. BOUNDARIES and ACTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS. There are a lot of grifters who need to maintain their NEW AGE BULLSHIT in order to sell books, services and internet memberships. Don't become like them. On that note, Teal swan, she's a known cult leader and mercenary, I wouldn't even mention her, for the sake of your channel's reputation.