Boy Crazy: confessing secret attractions and crushes 🥰

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 29 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 67

  • @oceanwonders
    @oceanwonders 9 месяцев назад +6

    Posted all over Twitter:
    "My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they're more brave than I am."

  • @kso808
    @kso808 10 месяцев назад +3

    Great episode!! I could probably write you a book on how boy-like crushes have affected me through the years. First of all, my “type” of guy has definitely changed over the years. I used to like fair-haired or light brown hair on guys. Now my preference has changed 180 degrees, to liking guys with black/dark brunette hair.
    When I was younger I preferred guys older than me, now it’s just the opposite; I’m into younger guys.
    Another desired characteristic in guys for me is that they are “alpha males.” This would include a swagger and joie de vivre. Intelligence and good looks are also important and go a long way toward attracting me to a guy. Being physically fit is also key for me.
    Finally, and this may tie in to one of your future episodes, dealing with attraction to straight and or married men. I have been attracted to someone I’ve only met online. He is married to a woman and acts very straight. However, he tends to drop hints of things having to do with the gay world in the YT travel video channel he runs. I think it was a case of love at first sight, for me, and maybe my gaydar going off. Yet, I can’t be sure. I think part of all this for me is the thrill of the hunt, and being vindicated in my intuition about the subject of my desire.
    Finally, about rejection: the above person began to be unresponsive at some point last year, I’m thinking because he’s not out. Ideally, I would like this guy for friendship at the very least. But hope springs eternal.
    Such a great episode! ❤

    • @GayMenGoingDeeper
      @GayMenGoingDeeper  10 месяцев назад

      Thanks for sharing your journey! It's interesting how preferences change over time. Dealing with attraction to straight or married individuals adds complexity. Wishing you the best, and glad you enjoyed the episode! ❤🌈

  • @Sourpatch_kid92
    @Sourpatch_kid92 8 месяцев назад +1

    As someone who’s had to develop a relationship with my masculinity, I definitely use my masculinity to play cat and mouse with more feminine energy to feel out if there is a connection. I have had to grow to accept that I do like a more feminine energy to counteract my masculine energy. I wonder if Matt would be into guys who are stocky who play sports? But love this podcast, as this is very validating as a gay man who had to learn how to accept every part of myself and not be upset that my masculinity attracts some and not others. Thank You boys

  • @mattgerlach744
    @mattgerlach744 10 месяцев назад +8

    As I get older I've learned that it's really powerful to give people a clear, concise, respectful "no thank you." It can be so hard to do, but it's so much more respectful of them as a person.

    • @guyafrica7894
      @guyafrica7894 8 месяцев назад

      You get it. I wish more people were like this. Especially gay men

  • @downbeatdialga1341
    @downbeatdialga1341 9 месяцев назад +3

    I’m 23, and grew up in a relatively conservative environment. Black and adopted at birth, living in a rural community, catholic school education for 14 years (Kindergarten-High School), and chronically ill with Crohn’s Disease. I’ve struggled to be independent because of my medical issues, and still living with family hasn’t made it easy to pursue any relationships. My family and friends love me, and they accept me for being queer and for all the parts of my identity, but it feels like even after coming out to my folks a couple years ago, it still feels like I have to wear a muzzle around them and most people. I’m surrounded by people who love me, but yet so often I still feel like there’s nothing for me here, or that I’m losing myself. Therapy’s been helping, but only so much. I’ve never experienced a kiss or any forms of intimacy, and I’m at the point where I crave and yet can’t fathom proper intimacy. And I feel if I told somebody all these things, they’d just leave. I mean, I wouldn’t want to hold them back from being happy, and I worry I couldn’t make them happy.
    I’m also coming off of a porn addiction that consumed most of my life for half of my life. When the talk of sex-Ed came up years ago, going to Catholic school, I was taught “family-life” instead; that sex and marriage are only for a man and his wife. I never knew how to feel about it, and for years I tried to convince myself, “if I form a crush on a girl, maybe that’ll lead to me also developing sexual attraction to her”. Of course that never happened, and I started to notice I had crushes on the guys in my class, but I was taught in catholic school that being gay was a bad thing. I also had family in the school-my aunt and mother as teachers, and the former eventually became the principal, and my younger sister and three cousins were enrolled too. How could I come out in a Catholic school, for fear that my cousins, sister, or my mom and sister would be ridiculed for having a queer family member? Feelings of shame and guilt for my sexuality were also affecting my pre-existing symptoms of Crohn’s Disease, leading to pain in my gut. I also had several surgeries in my childhood, and I spent most summers-not hanging out with others my age-but doing summer packets and scheduling the surgeries as soon as school let out, to hopefully be ready by the fall. And so, feeling so isolated, I became obsessed with pornography, developed an addiction and shame for not knowing how to express my attraction to other guys, and believing my health issues were some sorta punishment for being gay. One dear friend I’ve had a crush on, but I pretty sure he’s straight. I haven’t told him because he’s busy with university, and I’m still working on getting my driver’s license. We live a bit more than 40 minutes apart, and since he’s returned to school, I don’t wanna impose on him to drive down to hang out, just to tell him that. I don’t know if my feelings are real or not either, because I’ve never been able to compare the few times I’ve hung out with him recently to any romantic relationship before (cuz I’ve never been in a relationship), but I also haven’t been able to move on and entertain a relationship with anyone else. I don’t wanna carry feelings for someone else into dating another party, cuz that’s not fair to them. The easiest decision would be to text him how I feel, but that’s not right either, cuz I feel something like that is better said face to face.
    I get worried that any guy I could hope to be with would see me as damaged goods if I told all of this to him. I just don’t know how to feel most days. 😞

    • @GayMenGoingDeeper
      @GayMenGoingDeeper  9 месяцев назад +2

      We appreciate you sharing your story and struggles. It takes courage to open up about such personal experiences. Remember, you're not alone in your journey. If you ever need someone to talk to, the community is here for you. 💙🌈

    • @AlithesisKrukonova-hk2ws
      @AlithesisKrukonova-hk2ws 7 месяцев назад +1

      I am disabled with physical and mental issues at the age of 48 I only went to dates with guys except kissing that's as far as I went it can be hard navigating in gay dating because I don't look like the ideal Adonis being young you have chances I don't I learned to love myself and pamper me programmed that I will be alone I still wish you the best of luck meeting your soul mate that will take you who you are!

    • @AlithesisKrukonova-hk2ws
      @AlithesisKrukonova-hk2ws 7 месяцев назад +1

      This message is for the guy alone that's got all the support from your family and friends

    • @GayMenGoingDeeper
      @GayMenGoingDeeper  7 месяцев назад

      @@AlithesisKrukonova-hk2ws Thank you for sharing your story. Your courage and self-love are truly inspiring. 🙏Wishing you all the best on your journey. Remember, you deserve love just as you are.💞

  • @gavinsherrod
    @gavinsherrod 7 месяцев назад +1

    The three of you are so cute. Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability, as always.

    • @GayMenGoingDeeper
      @GayMenGoingDeeper  7 месяцев назад +1

      Thank you for your kind words! We're glad you appreciate our honesty and vulnerability. It's important to us to create a space where authenticity can thrive. Your support means a lot!🤝🥰

  • @donald6787
    @donald6787 10 месяцев назад +7

    Michael Dilorio sets my heart a flutter

    • @GayMenGoingDeeper
      @GayMenGoingDeeper  10 месяцев назад

      He has that effect! 💖😊

    • @WellismoCoaching
      @WellismoCoaching 10 месяцев назад +1

      Flutter away @donald6787 🦋 Sending you a big hug! xo

  • @spectroman71
    @spectroman71 9 месяцев назад +1

    100% with Michael on the "Guys who blend in". The centers of attention are usually too busy having something to prove to become attractive!

    • @WellismoCoaching
      @WellismoCoaching 9 месяцев назад +1

      EXACTLY. Couldn't have said it better 💟

  • @BJ-oi7cm
    @BJ-oi7cm 10 месяцев назад +2

    Thank you for addressing how to handle unreciprocated feelings.

    • @GayMenGoingDeeper
      @GayMenGoingDeeper  9 месяцев назад

      Thanks for your appreciation! Handling unreciprocated feelings can be challenging, but we're here to help. For more insights on this and related topics, you can check our channel or if it's Apple, tune in to our podcast podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/gay-men-going-deeper/id1535102476. Feel free to share your thoughts or questions anytime! It would be super helpful if you gave the show a 5-star rating and review on whatever platform😉

  • @pppexplorer
    @pppexplorer 10 месяцев назад +2

    Guys - This was a fun and relatable topic, and I enjoyed hearing the perspectives from all of you.
    Reno, especially, made me laugh at several points during the episode ("wash your ass, brush your teeth..."). 😀

    • @GayMenGoingDeeper
      @GayMenGoingDeeper  10 месяцев назад +1

      So glad you enjoyed it! Reno's humor adds a great touch. Stay tuned for more laughter and insights! 😄🎙

  • @dubon9999
    @dubon9999 10 месяцев назад +6

    Gays together forever ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

  • @ricardosoca7380
    @ricardosoca7380 10 месяцев назад +1

    What a great episode guys! I can totally relate to when someone had a good natural smell it's a huge turn on. I must say Matt and Reno seem to have a lot of requirements but hey so do I , maybe that's why we're single 😅

    • @GayMenGoingDeeper
      @GayMenGoingDeeper  9 месяцев назад

      Haha, smells can be powerful, right? And hey, having standards is a good thing, even if it keeps us single for now. 😄 Glad you enjoyed the episode! It would be super helpful if you gave the show a 5-star rating and review on whatever platform you’re listening to us on. PS: If it’s on Apple, here’s the link: podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/gay-men-going-deeper/id1535102476 Thank you so much!😘

  • @carlorizzo827
    @carlorizzo827 10 месяцев назад +2

    ThankUso much. Section on expressing, handling rejection is super interesting & practical. Section on crushes argh🧨my code of attraction is triple A. I like them if they're angry, arrogant, or aloof lol

    • @GayMenGoingDeeper
      @GayMenGoingDeeper  10 месяцев назад

      You're welcome! Glad you found it interesting. Triple A attraction-angry, arrogant, aloof-sounds like a unique code! 😄🌟

  • @marcusmagnificus1984
    @marcusmagnificus1984 10 месяцев назад +1

    As the song goes:
    "I'm always lost for words
    When someone mentions your name
    I know, I'll get over this for sure
    I'm not the type who dreams there could be more"
    Man, I remember my teenage years. Attractions and crushes seems so much worse because it's forbidden and you have nobody to talk to. I can just imagine how tougher it was for those in the older generation like 50's to 80's. It gets better. May the good Lord guide our passions and lead us to meaningful and fulfilling relationships.

    • @GayMenGoingDeeper
      @GayMenGoingDeeper  9 месяцев назад

      Beautiful lyrics! Teenage attractions can be tough, and I can imagine it was even harder for older generations. It gets better. Cheers to finding meaningful connections!❤

  • @BetrayalTraumaPractitioner
    @BetrayalTraumaPractitioner 10 месяцев назад +2

    Yes, Reno. Attending/going to church together is a biggie.

    • @GayMenGoingDeeper
      @GayMenGoingDeeper  10 месяцев назад +1

      Absolutely, church together can be a meaningful bond! 🙏🏳‍🌈

  • @seto749
    @seto749 9 месяцев назад +1

    Mr L was amusing; he reminded me of Mr Darcy's standards for an Accomplished Woman and Elizabeth Bennet's going from wondering that he knew only six to wondering at his knowing any. I am rather more like Mr D in that attraction feels like grading a paper - usually just knocking points off, occasionally adding them.
    One thing that went unmentioned but which I've always practised was the principle of the more attractive person's having the initiative.

    • @GayMenGoingDeeper
      @GayMenGoingDeeper  9 месяцев назад

      We are glad you found Mr. L amusing! And great point about the more attractive person taking the initiative. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  • @23LaysBaked
    @23LaysBaked 10 месяцев назад +2

    Too many crushes that are currently friends idk if I say anything or let it go

    • @GayMenGoingDeeper
      @GayMenGoingDeeper  10 месяцев назад +1

      Tough choice! If it feels right, maybe express your feelings. Trust your instincts! 😊🌟

  • @kennethepps3425
    @kennethepps3425 10 месяцев назад +3

    While I'd gladly date any of you, I suspect we'd just be friends in the end. I think Matt and I would be chatter boxes together, discussing the most esoteric of topics. My personality with Reno is a recipe for mischief and shenanigans would follow. Michael is just hot, so I'd be intimidated to actually approach if he were single.
    All of these things are only the result of working on my self, just as Matt said about himself. I would never think about saying these things publicly for fear of rejection, debilitating fear. Now, partially as a result of becoming a regular listener and joiner of the calls, I do feel that confidence. My highest praise is for someone to be "quilt worthy", meaning I care about them enough to put my personal resources into creating a quilt for them which can take a significant amount of time.

    • @GayMenGoingDeeper
      @GayMenGoingDeeper  10 месяцев назад

      We love it!❤It's great to hear how being part of the community has boosted your confidence. And "quilt worthy" is a beautiful sentiment! 😊🌈

    • @WellismoCoaching
      @WellismoCoaching 10 месяцев назад

      I love that you've established a baseline of being quilt worthy, that's both symbolic and practical. We can all have our own version of that. Btw Kenneth I think we'd have a GREAT time. I'm not intimidating and I can make you feel right at home. And btw, I am single 🫶🏽

    • @kennethepps3425
      @kennethepps3425 10 месяцев назад +1

      @@WellismoCoaching Single eh? Alas I'm not Canadian. 😂Thank you for all you do.

    • @WellismoCoaching
      @WellismoCoaching 9 месяцев назад

      My pleasure 🥰@@kennethepps3425

  • @josephyoung6749
    @josephyoung6749 9 месяцев назад +1

    19:34 Went on a date with this Dominican guy last Saturday, he was 20 years old and I'm 32. Really interesting age combo. I didn't try to have sex with him but just wanted to have a wholesome date with him. I took him to get food, the park, and a spot I know by the river that's kind of like a beach but it also has small rocks from being close to a railroad. I literally taught this guy how to skip rocks on the water (while also showing off my physical abilities, one of which is to throw things extremely far/fast). It was really nice. But the utterly insane part about it was this guy smelled so good... ya'll. I actually never have been more attracted to a guy's scent than when I was with him. And what's crazy is for the rest of the day I could smell him on me slightly. We didn't even really hug or do anything physical. At one point I went to position his arms to show him how to throw, sort of in slow motion, by physically touching his arm and controlling it to perform the motion of throwing. He must have deposited this scent on me at that point haha. Definitely know what you mean now!!

  • @neutralmultiverse8589
    @neutralmultiverse8589 8 месяцев назад

    im 44 and sorta feel like im losing all my mojo, but this is making me feel like i wanna get my mojo back!

  • @ericpeterson2549
    @ericpeterson2549 7 месяцев назад +1

    I'm def boy crazy for Reno and Michael!

    • @GayMenGoingDeeper
      @GayMenGoingDeeper  7 месяцев назад

      Thank you for your enthusiasm! We appreciate your support.🤩

  • @SilverSaabArc
    @SilverSaabArc 9 месяцев назад

    From guys who go deeper, they don't draw attention to the fact that most of the things they find desirable are effectively mutually exclusive. I'm attracted to guts that are working on the things they can change. I'm a bottom, but simply being a guy who cares about my pleasure is more important than trying to find an elusive and non existent total top.

  • @Skylerjones624
    @Skylerjones624 10 месяцев назад +4

    Lol ofc couldn't have a gay podcast without the word sexual 😆😆
    Tbh don't really care about looks with guys more personality would rather be with a guy whos considered "Ugly" But has a good personality rather than a guy considered "Good looking" guy with a really bad personality
    A thing rarley (If ever talked about in the gay community) Is height whats your opinion on short tops and tall bottoms?

  • @JLZR1
    @JLZR1 10 месяцев назад +2

    I feel it’s extremely difficult for gay men to have develop and maintain a close friendships with other men, regardless if the other guy is gay or straight…The natural sexual attraction is always there…I’d compare it to straight men and women.. Do you ever see a straight guy having/developing just a friendship with a woman ?!? … More likely straight guys have straight guys as friends…Not saying it’s impossible to have a friendship, just that’s it’s difficult….

    • @GayMenGoingDeeper
      @GayMenGoingDeeper  10 месяцев назад

      That's a tough one. Developing close friendships, especially with potential attraction involved, can be challenging. Yet, with openness and understanding, genuine connections are possible. 🌈🤝

  • @mikiewifnoe360
    @mikiewifnoe360 9 месяцев назад

    I do not know what I have felt over the many years I have lived. I am attracted to what I call natural men; this can be gay or straight. I have never been in the proverbial closet. I have never felt I wish I were not me. So when someone mentions that I seem straight, I ask, what does that mean? Basically, to them, It meant I was not a fag. If I was attracted to someone, I would simply ask. Excuse me, I would like to know if you are gay. Usually, the response was a startled look, and the answer was no. Only a few times did they have the wear with all to ask, why do I seem gay? I would explain that no, I am attracted to a natural man, and that would be you, and if you had said yes, I would have asked you out on a date. But usually, I thanked them for answering my question once they said no. I have never had a bad reaction. I have never looked at a man and said to myself, oh, I gotta have some of that. I have always been looking for a friend with whom I could possibly love. Only when I love someone do I want a sexual relationship. I do not usually have difficulty with straight men in general, but there have been a few where war was declared. I have had much more difficulty with gay men. If I was friendly with some, they, for some reason, automatically thought I was coming on to them, and I would get a very nasty reaction when I was only being naturally friendly with no interest past that. Now, mind you, growing up in the time frame I did, it was not as idyllic as it might have seemed. I was pure torture as a youth.

    • @GayMenGoingDeeper
      @GayMenGoingDeeper  9 месяцев назад

      Thanks for sharing your story! I believe in being honest and open about who we're attracted to. It's all about finding that genuine connection and friendship first. Life's too short for anything else! 😊

  • @edenferriss768
    @edenferriss768 Месяц назад

    Andrew Schultz who laughed at tRump!

  • @KenyadaRobinson-p8r
    @KenyadaRobinson-p8r 10 месяцев назад +1

    Hi Gays ♥️🏳️‍🌈

  • @kennethbailey9853
    @kennethbailey9853 10 месяцев назад +1

    ❤😂Yum a Doodle doo ❤😅😅😅😊😊😊

  • @DjCarlosDali
    @DjCarlosDali 10 месяцев назад +1

    love to join in the chat one day

  • @monty65556
    @monty65556 9 месяцев назад

    Totally crushing on you Matt! Mmm mm

  • @danpanther
    @danpanther 8 месяцев назад

    Kevin Hart also homophobic!! 😂