Tom, this is truly a heart throbbing video, which speaks so much depth and truth. You can tell it's coming from all of your emotions within. I must agree 100%. It's so sad that males are shot down and told to be more 'manly' or to 'stop being a pussy'. I feel that most men, if not all, go through a sort of breaking point and they feel useless. I have ALOT of male friends and 2 brothers so I see this pattern much too often. It breaks my heart and both of my brothers have told me about their recent suicidal thoughts. Just goes to show you, and again, I 100% agree with all your reasonings in this video in relation to this topic. You're actually inspiring me to make a video about this as well, and speak up on behalf of men and on suicide in general. Thank you Tom for such a powerful message being brought to light, & in a very clear way at that.
Going through this right now. I wake up every day in a lot of physical pain.. lifes just going on without me and i just want my old life back. Watching this vid has been helpful, thank you dude
Completely understand what you're saying + about your Dog the Friend. I had the same situation with my older Cat 2 years ago, and that was a hard experience back then, and she eventually left this world, but then some psychedelics showed me another perspective and I was able to step out of that. Wish yours all the best easiest ways to heal and to recover. You are not alone.
Thank you for reaching out and speaking about this. I had the same experience with a high school friend committing suicide. I didn’t know what to think about it . All I could do was say a silent prayer for him and hope that his family are ok.
i agree - society places these expectations on everyone, and everyone feels pressured to live up to these expectations. those who fail to do so end up becoming depressed and feel helpless. it really sucks that this is how it is, and i know firsthand that seeking help is really difficult. but i did so, and i can say it was the best decision i've made because i don't know if i'd be here today if i didn't do it when i did. great video tom, im sure this will help heeps of people
You are doing so much good with these videos Tom. I think a lot of people forget that sometimes, just a few words can save someone's life. Keep up the good work and hope everything goes well with your dog.
Brother it takes alot of strength to go through suicidal thoughts and depression and get through it, ive been to my cousins funeral and god fathers funeral to suicide before they even took their lives i have been fighting myself for years through depression even tried multiple times to take my life. All i can say their is light at the end of the tunnel, much love brother you are a very strong soul. peace and love to you and everyone.
One of your best videos, Tom. Very important topic! I spent more than 13 years in school but never learned to deal with thoughts and emotions or how to stay mentally healthy!
thank you brother, for exploring and articulating, in all of your work, the dark and mysterious path that most of us are unaware or scared of. Its refreshing to see not all people our age just getting fucked up and thinking about money and partying. Stay positive bro peace.
Tom I really like your views of the world and I hope you will continue this journey of making these awesome videos. I will support you as soon as I payed my fine for drug possession ...
Very important and true video, Tom. Your opinions are always genuine and interesting, and this video is very important and I'm so glad you made it. I was depressed for years, and sometimes I get periods where it comes back. I was on antidepressants and had a psychologist, and I totally agree with you on antidepressants. It had far more side effects than pros when it comes to treating depression. It's not a good long term treatment. It should be used short term only, what helps depression and such is TALKING about it. To a professional.
i used to have some pretty bad clinical depression, went through a lot of other mental illnesses as well but thats a different story, and the way ive overcome it,(kinda overcame it, depression kinda never goes away) was by a lot of meditation and self inquiry. just for reference as to how severe the depression was and what a struggle it's been,(not making it a competition, some people just like to know for curiosity's sake) since i was about probably six or seven and i finally broke out of the depressive paradime when i was fifteen, but like i said its always a work in progress with depression haha to whoever's reading this, have a good day, fellow human. love you 😁
A very insightful channel and video. Very brave of you to speak up dude. Love your channel, keep spreading the love and sending healing vibes to you and your lovely doggy x
the channel frater oculus did a recent video about the topic too. he presented his perspective very well because he frames the conditions with the context of being tired of the human condition and preferring to separate into the non physical entity
i feel you dude... my first dog, my unique dog... since i was a little kid its now 14 years old and yeah... he basicaly cant walk anymore... and hes suffering so we are thinking in probably sacrifice him because its for the better and it fucking sucks... because he was there always, any time of the life so yeah.... but you got to keep going ;( keep it up mate.
The problem is (atleast in Germany) if you got officialy diagnosed & maybe even treated witch psychological issues like a depression there are so many drawbacks you will face (not getting a certain job, higher fees for insurances, etc.) also it is like you said once you "came out with it" it sticks to you for the rest of your days, you'r always that 'weak' dude...
thanks from new oeleans usa tom. i have been on antidepressants since i was 37, or 16 years now. something i have realized on my path is that many of us were never given the right to be in touch with our identity. i always identified myself as someones son, or someomes da, or husband, or a lisenced master plumbing contractor, or a brother, or even worse, i believed all the bullshit my perfect fucking mother told me, like i am stupid, never going to amount to anything, would probably end up in jail, and she phyaically beat me everyday, usually many times a day. i raised myself since i was three years old, staying in the swamps i grew up in, except for when i absolutly had to go home for eating, and my beatings. my father nurtured my mechanical skills which i got from him. mother kept this up until i was taller than she, at about 14 years old, then she resorted to full time emotional, and mental abuse and neglect. it is a scientific fact that the human brain is hard wired to give, and recieve love productively by the age of three. if your parents didnt nurture this gift to you by then, you will pretty much never be able to keep a productive relationship going. this old bitch is 87 now, and still treats me this way to this day at 53 years old. ive had two divorces and one dear son from the first marriage. i love him dearly, and he has blessed me with two grand daughter who i dont even know, because after 27years, he told me that he wanted nothing more to do with me, ever, as he thinks that i am a piece of shit asshole and no other reson besides that. the day before he told me that, we talked just like we had fir the previous 27 years never missing a day. im sure my mother had something to do with turning him against me. she is the only person on earth who possess the piwer to encourage such a horrible thing, also the motive and oppertunity. after my first wife left with my son, i attempted suicide three diferent times, and each time i was interupted by angels sent to me by my God, and was informed that i have a purpose to accomplish. i was a fake all my life, always imitating others i knew who were successful. i have had my share of success as far as money goes, but never could hd on to it, as people always stole it from me, becausr i was an imitation of others, and that is never permanent. my mother has stolen everything i ever amassed, even going so far as to con me out of my home i bought. on my fathers death bed in 1989 he ended our relationship, which was always the most valuable thing in the world that i cherished next to my son, by telling me that i had to take care of my mother for him, and the way i was to do this was one word, YES. he said no matter what she wants, the answer is yes. in 2001 i became physically disabled, and lost my business, leaving me dependant on my inheiratence, which my mother has usafruct of, so after being free of her for years, i am now stuck dependant on her because she controls my money, and home. what a nightmare!!! well in 2005 right after hurricane katrina, a memory came back to me that i had repressed since i was 12. i remembered being raped on three occaisions by a boy scout leader and friend of my parents. what triggered the memory was that summer i had been in clifornia and saw my mothers son who revieled to me that when we were in scouts, he was having homosecual sex with the man who raped me and his son at the same time. i was disgusted and amazed to find out that this kind of stuff was rampant when we were in scouting and i didnt even know it. my mothers other son is a sodomite, a pedophile, and one night the veil had lifted on him while i was totally sober and his true being appeared. he is a demon who calls himself the old man. you would probably know of him as SATAN. he offered me a deal in exchange for my soul, and the soul of my last born that i could have anything i wanted of this world, and i stood up to him and rebuked him in Gods name, and he failed. the following year was when i was thinking of what he was saying about the deviet sex ge was having as a child with this father and son, when the momories of my three rapes came flooding back. at this time i was forty three, and just went through my second divorce. i was devestated at this memory. i realized that the demon must have had something ro so with it. so, i went to my mother in tears, as this was the only time i ever needed her most, so she would understand what had happened to me, as around that time is when i started suffering with depression that i could recoginize, and started suffering with alcohalism, and addiction desise trying to self medicate an undiagnosed illness. she always blamed me for my substance abuse issues, and claimed i did it on purpose just to spite her. i drove all the way to her house that night thirty miles away, so i could tell her whart had happened, and maybe get a much needed hug. when i td her qhat i had suffered and how it affected my life, her reply was, YOU MUST HAVE LIKED IT BECAUSE YOU KRLEPT GOING BACK FOR MORE!!! it was then that i realized that she already knew about it, as she, and her demon seed must have set it up to happen. then it iccured to me that she has gotten everything in this world that she could ever want in life, and so has her other four offspring except me, leading me to conclude that at some point in her life the old man must have offered her the same deal in exchange fir her last born sons soul. I sir, am her last born son. after these expieriences it all became obvious to me and what my purpose was to be. by the rime i was 45, right after losing my kis, i realized that i had no identity, and for the next year, i got sobor, and meditated on who am i, and what is my purpose. i am happy to say that my identity is that if a whole man who is nothing but loving energy, a sensetive, and empath, and a psychic who was put here to suffer through the trials, and tribulations of Christ, so i can deny SATON the destiny he has planned for me, and outlive my mother so she wilk not fullfill her prophecy, and so i can help all others who enter my path that suffer with the same struggles that i have already gone through. just two months ago i got off the anti-psychotics they had me on to keep me subdued so i can cope with chronic acute pain, and just two weeks ago i finished weening myself of of thef anti-depressant i have been on for 16 years, and now i am getting clearer everyday, and my cognative abilitys are coming back by leaps and bounds. oh, by the way, not to brag but the whole time i was being told how stupid i was i had already been tested to know i have an inteligence quotient of 141. while im not a super genious, i do gal into the lower scales of genious, but becuse she was my mother, i allowed myself to be hurt by her lie. i realize now that I.Q. has so little to do with real inteligence, as if you can recognize, and use the gifts your creator endowed tou with for the goid if mankind, then it matters little, your ability to do well in school. also, i am so a.d.d. that i just barely past every grade until tenth, and then dropped out to go to wirk and support myself at 16. i started working at 11, as i knew that i was going to leave home as soon as i was ild enough, and could afford it. in my life i had a best friend that killed himself when we were twenty, and it affected me, and my depression terribly, and my favorite nephew killed himseld at eighteen, on what was to be his prom night, as he was scheduled to graduate as valadictorian from jesuit high school. which is as hard to do as graduateimg with honors from an ivy league colledge. God only knows what those jesuits did to him, this was the first time in his life that his perents went out of tiwn and left him home alone, ever. that weekend was his fathers birthday, and mothers day i didnt see it at the time, as my semses were still cirruoted back then, and.i now realize that in both of these cases, they were the same as me. they were denued the right to be who they wanted to be, with their own identity intact. after his death i came to a few conclusions, a. i will never commit suicide, as i will nit put anyone who loves and depends on me through the pain i suffered after these guys, i believe, unkniwingly commited the most selfish act of the terestrial realm, b. if you commit suicide, you will nit fullfill whatever purpose you came here for whatever that may be, unless you were put here to commit suicide so i can come to the realizations that will always make it impossible for me to do it, and c. i relize that even if there is the slimest of all chances that things may get better tomorriw, if you kill yourself, you will not be here to see, amd expierience it. my attempts were when i was 24, and 25 years old, and i mever was blessed with my identity, talents to helo mankind,, my purpose, and the ability to look in the mirror, and live the real MAN starring back at me, until i was 45, and hast lost everyone, and everything that i had truely love in the world. even though it was another twenty years i waited befire it got better, and a lifetime worth of meditation, and prayer before tomorrow ever happened for me, it still eventually happened, and im sure glad i stayed instead of being in the most negative places to exist with the old man. sirry this was so long, but i hope anyone who bears with me long enough to read tge whole comment, will be blessed as much as i was for doing so. thank you my mate tom, and god bless. ps. i am working with my god on the right time for me to start micro-dosing, as he has told me that this is the path of kniwledge i should take next before i get cought back up in the depression again. oeace, blessings, and majik, i love you all😇
also it seems like Ketamine will be used for depression but that ranges from 2-4k and that's hella not cheap, plus the fact that you'd need to go to more than one session!
One of the most powerful tools I can offer that has helped me with my clinical depression comes from Buddhist philosophy and is called "impermanence". It's the universal law that everything is always changing and this includes emotions. You will be sad, happy, depressed and everything in between during a day or week etc. and you can never hold on to any emotional state no matter how hard you try. You can't control the waves and motion of the ocean but you can learn how to surf... Secondly Tom, that dog and the way you obviously love her is touching. I'm happy she is doing ok. Your love and care will be the best medicine for her to heal. Lastly, I've been working with this simple mantra lately that I learned from a Kundalini yoga practitioner that has been powerful and effective. When I find myself in a hopeless or painful state I've started chanting internally to myself the word VICTORY. Supposedly it is a powerful mantra and all mantras work on changing vibrations positively and we all know the universe is all one giant collection of infinite vibrations down to subatomic levels of atoms and such. Tom, maybe try using the Victory mantra - if only a few times as it doesn't have to be an hour of internal chanting - when your dear dog has her next surgery and see how it goes for you. It's worked for me to pull me out of despair twice recently. Animals are incredible the way they bring out such unconditional love in us humans. They are medicine, therapy and family in the purest form. Be well both you and your fuzzy sweet friend as she heals.
i feel the same and have experienced most of this. do you have any advice on convincing loved ones to believe in what your saying? my fiance is very cold to the issue and is the "real man." it's hurtful because he's no help to the problem. I don't know how to help him understand.
Tom this opened my mind to tell my parents I hear voices and want to commit suicide, they didn't do much but I came out too them. Everyone around me is really judgemental. I have opened up to people but not much is helping. Can you suggest anything, I drink and take drugs to take my mind off this world and I'm damaging myself while I'm still growing up, I'm also from Australia :D
I have been depressed for 3 years now and I don't know what should I do for this. I have had suicidal thoughts for so long now but haven't shared with anyone. You said to talk with your friends but "talking" doesn't really do much tbh. Because when I talk about this with someone they think I am just sad and I will get over it. But this is just so effing deep than that and I think no one (someone who is not suffering from depression) understands how it is really like to be depressed. There was a time when I was standing on my 3 floor roof and about to jump but didn't. I think thinking about the outcomes and my parents stopped me. Now this is just worse than anything.
Sahil Bhardwaj my friend, i think talking to a therapist or psychologist who is trained to understand the seriousness of what you are feeling would help more than these people you've spoken to who don't understand how serious this is. A trained professional can work with you on your thoughts and feelings and give you tools to utilize when you have these thoughts. People are out there who care and can help and you just have to find them. It seems like you know yourself how horrible it would be on your family if you were gone and this alone is hope and strength to keep fighting and working towards healing. Be well.
Don't be afraid of speaking to a professional, you'll grow to enjoy it. If you don't vibe with one therapist, find another. Don't give up. It's worth the journey, friend. But also, maybe you should try to discover what exactly is causing your suffering. Look within. This is my best resource: terebess.hu/zen/mesterek/Thich%20Nhat%20Hanh%20-%20Reconciliation.pdf Cheers, mate.
Sahil Bhardwaj Listen man, do what makes you happy, if your not happy with yourself and how you are do what you need to do to change that, I'm working on it myself right now
I think the other problem is most guys have poor Fathers and if you are a male that male component is very important. Because obviously there are differences between the two sexes. Just my opinion.
Hey Tom i love this video I think everyone has these problems , but i think you could have a better name for this video to get more attention, like hiding depression or something. Because this video could help everyone not only suicidal depressed people...
You think everyone has suicidal thoughts? I'm not sure about that, I hope not at least, lol. This video is properly titled to reach the people who need it most. Cheers, friend.
Im not saying everyone is suicidal , im saying almost 90% of people specialy men have a mask on their face and dont show their feelings , and this vid could help them understand that.
Here's the thing Tom, sometimes you really can't talk about it. No one I was open with understood what was happening in my brain and opening my mouth was draining to those around me. I am also surprised as to your emotional stance on depression and suicide, maybe because I was the same way towards the end of HS; Depressed, definitely suicidal as I even purchased a knife I thought I was going to do it with. But I felt no sadness, as the steps I were taking seemed logical, as they still do to some extent. It's what I like to call, the "minecraft" effect. I dont know if you have ever played but, when you get into the game, it's so fucking interesting and you're hooked. Until at somepoint, the train comes to a hault when you realize, why am I building all of this shit? and for what? Suddenly the games appeal has vanished, and you quit instantly. That's what it felt happened in my life, all interest of anything was gone. No sadness, just a supreme emptiness. Why do you even think suicide is sad? Do you think death is bad? I find suffering to be sad, and death isn't suffering.
Sorry to hear that, i suffered alot of bullying and depression through all my school years, the problem for me was if i where to go out with it then it would feel like i was doing it for attention, i didn't really know if what i had was "real" depression or enough to go out with it, cause even though i most of the time i looked happy and that's what i thought people would react to aswell, being like but you were always so happy. only now a year after finishing school that i've been able to talk about it with my sister and she was like wow i had no idea, and she has also been suffering from depression. Now to death and suffering, now we don't really know what happens after death but sure we can say you don't exist anymore so no more pain. Suffering and change will always be a part of life, as will joy and happiness, we don't get to choose what we feel but we can choose how to respond to it and let it strenghten us, you must remember a time when you were truly happy, even if you have to remember back to childbirth. just remember you were once happy and you can if you really try, it's not going to be easy and it's not going to be fun at all times, but finding a purpose or a goal or why you are on this earth becomes the new purpose for now until you find what can make you happy again. I suggest looking inside, cause all outer stuff is as i said before changing and will fade in the long run. I also have felt this, and even a loss of identity where i barely knew what i liked to do but waste hours and hours infront of the computer as my younger years, as i grew older i delved into more dangerous addictives as drugs. which i'm to be honest not fully out of yet, but i'm still working every day to better myself. Realize the god essence within you.
Tom, this is truly a heart throbbing video, which speaks so much depth and truth. You can tell it's coming from all of your emotions within. I must agree 100%. It's so sad that males are shot down and told to be more 'manly' or to 'stop being a pussy'. I feel that most men, if not all, go through a sort of breaking point and they feel useless. I have ALOT of male friends and 2 brothers so I see this pattern much too often. It breaks my heart and both of my brothers have told me about their recent suicidal thoughts. Just goes to show you, and again, I 100% agree with all your reasonings in this video in relation to this topic. You're actually inspiring me to make a video about this as well, and speak up on behalf of men and on suicide in general. Thank you Tom for such a powerful message being brought to light, & in a very clear way at that.
I love that you never let the fact that its uncomfortable stop you from talking about something. I just added you on patreon, keep the videos coming!
Kalvin N thank you so much, it really means a lot. Much love. :)
You've got my support too, your content deserves it :)
Going through this right now. I wake up every day in a lot of physical pain.. lifes just going on without me and i just want my old life back. Watching this vid has been helpful, thank you dude
Positive vibes to you and your dog man
Completely understand what you're saying + about your Dog the Friend. I had the same situation with my older Cat 2 years ago, and that was a hard experience back then, and she eventually left this world, but then some psychedelics showed me another perspective and I was able to step out of that. Wish yours all the best easiest ways to heal and to recover. You are not alone.
Thank you for reaching out and speaking about this. I had the same experience with a high school friend committing suicide. I didn’t know what to think about it . All I could do was say a silent prayer for him and hope that his family are ok.
i agree - society places these expectations on everyone, and everyone feels pressured to live up to these expectations. those who fail to do so end up becoming depressed and feel helpless. it really sucks that this is how it is, and i know firsthand that seeking help is really difficult. but i did so, and i can say it was the best decision i've made because i don't know if i'd be here today if i didn't do it when i did. great video tom, im sure this will help heeps of people
You are doing so much good with these videos Tom. I think a lot of people forget that sometimes, just a few words can save someone's life. Keep up the good work and hope everything goes well with your dog.
Much strength and love to you and your canine friend. Know that you're a lot of help to many people around the world
Brother it takes alot of strength to go through suicidal thoughts and depression and get through it, ive been to my cousins funeral and god fathers funeral to suicide before they even took their lives i have been fighting myself for years through depression even tried multiple times to take my life. All i can say their is light at the end of the tunnel, much love brother you are a very strong soul. peace and love to you and everyone.
One of your best videos, Tom. Very important topic! I spent more than 13 years in school but never learned to deal with thoughts and emotions or how to stay mentally healthy!
thank you brother, for exploring and articulating, in all of your work, the dark and mysterious path that most of us are unaware or scared of. Its refreshing to see not all people our age just getting fucked up and thinking about money and partying. Stay positive bro peace.
Tom I really like your views of the world and I hope you will continue this journey of making these awesome videos. I will support you as soon as I payed my fine for drug possession ...
i agree with everything you said in this video.and i'm super glad you chose to talk about it. you're such an intelligent individual
A year ago from last thanksgiving, i wanted to kill myself. I didnt, and the universe showed me awesome things. Thankyou
thanks so much for this. your truth shines through and I don't feel nearly as alone after finding your channel just now.
Bro your videos are real as fuck and appreciate that, I respect you and love your content keep doing what your doing man
Very important and true video, Tom. Your opinions are always genuine and interesting, and this video is very important and I'm so glad you made it.
I was depressed for years, and sometimes I get periods where it comes back. I was on antidepressants and had a psychologist, and I totally agree with you on antidepressants. It had far more side effects than pros when it comes to treating depression. It's not a good long term treatment. It should be used short term only, what helps depression and such is TALKING about it. To a professional.
i used to have some pretty bad clinical depression, went through a lot of other mental illnesses as well but thats a different story, and the way ive overcome it,(kinda overcame it, depression kinda never goes away) was by a lot of meditation and self inquiry. just for reference as to how severe the depression was and what a struggle it's been,(not making it a competition, some people just like to know for curiosity's sake) since i was about probably six or seven and i finally broke out of the depressive paradime when i was fifteen, but like i said its always a work in progress with depression haha
to whoever's reading this, have a good day, fellow human. love you 😁
Tom I just came across your channel, this video is very brave and I respect you alot. im struggling myself and this helps alot
A very insightful channel and video. Very brave of you to speak up dude. Love your channel, keep spreading the love and sending healing vibes to you and your lovely doggy x
the channel frater oculus did a recent video about the topic too.
he presented his perspective very well because he frames the conditions with the context of being tired of the human condition and preferring to separate into the non physical entity
I appreciate this video
I like how you mention operating systems and the culture of the modern times
sending good health to you and your doggo
i feel you dude... my first dog, my unique dog... since i was a little kid its now 14 years old and yeah... he basicaly cant walk anymore... and hes suffering so we are thinking in probably sacrifice him because its for the better and it fucking sucks... because he was there always, any time of the life so yeah.... but you got to keep going ;(
keep it up mate.
hope ur dog gets better.
Very true ! Thank's for this vid bro infinite love !
thank you. heartwarming
I wish the best for you man.
The problem is (atleast in Germany) if you got officialy diagnosed & maybe even treated witch psychological issues like a depression there are so many drawbacks you will face (not getting a certain job, higher fees for insurances, etc.) also it is like you said once you "came out with it" it sticks to you for the rest of your days, you'r always that 'weak' dude...
It's all negative inner talk which only have possession over your life if you allow it to sound 'true' instead of sweeping it away as non-sense.
Very important subject. Thank you!
Beautiful honest talk.
thanks from new oeleans usa tom. i have been on antidepressants since i was 37, or 16 years now. something i have realized on my path is that many of us were never given the right to be in touch with our identity. i always identified myself as someones son, or someomes da, or husband, or a lisenced master plumbing contractor, or a brother, or even worse, i believed all the bullshit my perfect fucking mother told me, like i am stupid, never going to amount to anything, would probably end up in jail, and she phyaically beat me everyday, usually many times a day. i raised myself since i was three years old, staying in the swamps i grew up in, except for when i absolutly had to go home for eating, and my beatings. my father nurtured my mechanical skills which i got from him. mother kept this up until i was taller than she, at about 14 years old, then she resorted to full time emotional, and mental abuse and neglect. it is a scientific fact that the human brain is hard wired to give, and recieve love productively by the age of three. if your parents didnt nurture this gift to you by then, you will pretty much never be able to keep a productive relationship going. this old bitch is 87 now, and still treats me this way to this day at 53 years old. ive had two divorces and one dear son from the first marriage. i love him dearly, and he has blessed me with two grand daughter who i dont even know, because after 27years, he told me that he wanted nothing more to do with me, ever, as he thinks that i am a piece of shit asshole and no other reson besides that. the day before he told me that, we talked just like we had fir the previous 27 years never missing a day. im sure my mother had something to do with turning him against me. she is the only person on earth who possess the piwer to encourage such a horrible thing, also the motive and oppertunity. after my first wife left with my son, i attempted suicide three diferent times, and each time i was interupted by angels sent to me by my God, and was informed that i have a purpose to accomplish. i was a fake all my life, always imitating others i knew who were successful. i have had my share of success as far as money goes, but never could hd on to it, as people always stole it from me, becausr i was an imitation of others, and that is never permanent. my mother has stolen everything i ever amassed, even going so far as to con me out of my home i bought. on my fathers death bed in 1989 he ended our relationship, which was always the most valuable thing in the world that i cherished next to my son, by telling me that i had to take care of my mother for him, and the way i was to do this was one word, YES. he said no matter what she wants, the answer is yes. in 2001 i became physically disabled, and lost my business, leaving me dependant on my inheiratence, which my mother has usafruct of, so after being free of her for years, i am now stuck dependant on her because she controls my money, and home. what a nightmare!!! well in 2005 right after hurricane katrina, a memory came back to me that i had repressed since i was 12. i remembered being raped on three occaisions by a boy scout leader and friend of my parents. what triggered the memory was that summer i had been in clifornia and saw my mothers son who revieled to me that when we were in scouts, he was having homosecual sex with the man who raped me and his son at the same time. i was disgusted and amazed to find out that this kind of stuff was rampant when we were in scouting and i didnt even know it. my mothers other son is a sodomite, a pedophile, and one night the veil had lifted on him while i was totally sober and his true being appeared. he is a demon who calls himself the old man. you would probably know of him as SATAN. he offered me a deal in exchange for my soul, and the soul of my last born that i could have anything i wanted of this world, and i stood up to him and rebuked him in Gods name, and he failed. the following year was when i was thinking of what he was saying about the deviet sex ge was having as a child with this father and son, when the momories of my three rapes came flooding back. at this time i was forty three, and just went through my second divorce. i was devestated at this memory. i realized that the demon must have had something ro so with it. so, i went to my mother in tears, as this was the only time i ever needed her most, so she would understand what had happened to me, as around that time is when i started suffering with depression that i could recoginize, and started suffering with alcohalism, and addiction desise trying to self medicate an undiagnosed illness. she always blamed me for my substance abuse issues, and claimed i did it on purpose just to spite her. i drove all the way to her house that night thirty miles away, so i could tell her whart had happened, and maybe get a much needed hug. when i td her qhat i had suffered and how it affected my life, her reply was, YOU MUST HAVE LIKED IT BECAUSE YOU KRLEPT GOING BACK FOR MORE!!! it was then that i realized that she already knew about it, as she, and her demon seed must have set it up to happen. then it iccured to me that she has gotten everything in this world that she could ever want in life, and so has her other four offspring except me, leading me to conclude that at some point in her life the old man must have offered her the same deal in exchange fir her last born sons soul. I sir, am her last born son. after these expieriences it all became obvious to me and what my purpose was to be. by the rime i was 45, right after losing my kis, i realized that i had no identity, and for the next year, i got sobor, and meditated on who am i, and what is my purpose. i am happy to say that my identity is that if a whole man who is nothing but loving energy, a sensetive, and empath, and a psychic who was put here to suffer through the trials, and tribulations of Christ, so i can deny SATON the destiny he has planned for me, and outlive my mother so she wilk not fullfill her prophecy, and so i can help all others who enter my path that suffer with the same struggles that i have already gone through. just two months ago i got off the anti-psychotics they had me on to keep me subdued so i can cope with chronic acute pain, and just two weeks ago i finished weening myself of of thef anti-depressant i have been on for 16 years, and now i am getting clearer everyday, and my cognative abilitys are coming back by leaps and bounds. oh, by the way, not to brag but the whole time i was being told how stupid i was i had already been tested to know i have an inteligence quotient of 141. while im not a super genious, i do gal into the lower scales of genious, but becuse she was my mother, i allowed myself to be hurt by her lie. i realize now that I.Q. has so little to do with real inteligence, as if you can recognize, and use the gifts your creator endowed tou with for the goid if mankind, then it matters little, your ability to do well in school. also, i am so a.d.d. that i just barely past every grade until tenth, and then dropped out to go to wirk and support myself at 16. i started working at 11, as i knew that i was going to leave home as soon as i was ild enough, and could afford it. in my life i had a best friend that killed himself when we were twenty, and it affected me, and my depression terribly, and my favorite nephew killed himseld at eighteen, on what was to be his prom night, as he was scheduled to graduate as valadictorian from jesuit high school. which is as hard to do as graduateimg with honors from an ivy league colledge. God only knows what those jesuits did to him, this was the first time in his life that his perents went out of tiwn and left him home alone, ever. that weekend was his fathers birthday, and mothers day i didnt see it at the time, as my semses were still cirruoted back then, and.i now realize that in both of these cases, they were the same as me. they were denued the right to be who they wanted to be, with their own identity intact. after his death i came to a few conclusions, a. i will never commit suicide, as i will nit put anyone who loves and depends on me through the pain i suffered after these guys, i believe, unkniwingly commited the most selfish act of the terestrial realm, b. if you commit suicide, you will nit fullfill whatever purpose you came here for whatever that may be, unless you were put here to commit suicide so i can come to the realizations that will always make it impossible for me to do it, and c. i relize that even if there is the slimest of all chances that things may get better tomorriw, if you kill yourself, you will not be here to see, amd expierience it. my attempts were when i was 24, and 25 years old, and i mever was blessed with my identity, talents to helo mankind,, my purpose, and the ability to look in the mirror, and live the real MAN starring back at me, until i was 45, and hast lost everyone, and everything that i had truely love in the world. even though it was another twenty years i waited befire it got better, and a lifetime worth of meditation, and prayer before tomorrow ever happened for me, it still eventually happened, and im sure glad i stayed instead of being in the most negative places to exist with the old man. sirry this was so long, but i hope anyone who bears with me long enough to read tge whole comment, will be blessed as much as i was for doing so. thank you my mate tom, and god bless. ps. i am working with my god on the right time for me to start micro-dosing, as he has told me that this is the path of kniwledge i should take next before i get cought back up in the depression again. oeace, blessings, and majik, i love you all😇
Sending much ❤️❤️🙏🏻😇 to your dog.
That bullshit macho attitude exists here in Ireland too......
good video Tom!! keep up the good work man!!
While watching this Video 22 People have committed suicide worldwide...
Hey love you tom!!! sending you much love and positivity and that hat is preety awesome by the way!!!
Loved this video man really inspiring
Nice vid Tom!👌🏼👍🏼
Feel you brah! Keep it up
❤ Thank you
Have no words
The world needs to see this... Those 4 people that disliked are egotistical alpha trying to be males
also it seems like Ketamine will be used for depression but that ranges from 2-4k and that's hella not cheap, plus the fact that you'd need to go to more than one session!
Great video. Hope your dog recovers soon.
Love you man
One of the most powerful tools I can offer that has helped me with my clinical depression comes from Buddhist philosophy and is called "impermanence". It's the universal law that everything is always changing and this includes emotions. You will be sad, happy, depressed and everything in between during a day or week etc. and you can never hold on to any emotional state no matter how hard you try. You can't control the waves and motion of the ocean but you can learn how to surf...
Secondly Tom, that dog and the way you obviously love her is touching. I'm happy she is doing ok. Your love and care will be the best medicine for her to heal.
Lastly, I've been working with this simple mantra lately that I learned from a Kundalini yoga practitioner that has been powerful and effective. When I find myself in a hopeless or painful state I've started chanting internally to myself the word VICTORY. Supposedly it is a powerful mantra and all mantras work on changing vibrations positively and we all know the universe is all one giant collection of infinite vibrations down to subatomic levels of atoms and such.
Tom, maybe try using the Victory mantra - if only a few times as it doesn't have to be an hour of internal chanting - when your dear dog has her next surgery and see how it goes for you. It's worked for me to pull me out of despair twice recently.
Animals are incredible the way they bring out such unconditional love in us humans. They are medicine, therapy and family in the purest form.
Be well both you and your fuzzy sweet friend as she heals.
4:14 thanks for it Tom. I'm emotional guy and I know this problem :/
mate, ❤️ respect
thankyou.
no shit i went to school with one of them we were good mates small world R.I.P
Please make a video about tips to try to overcome depression.
I'm so depressed now I don't even want to wake up anymore, people would be happy if I was gone.
i feel the same and have experienced most of this. do you have any advice on convincing loved ones to believe in what your saying? my fiance is very cold to the issue and is the "real man." it's hurtful because he's no help to the problem. I don't know how to help him understand.
u r the man
Tom this opened my mind to tell my parents I hear voices and want to commit suicide, they didn't do much but I came out too them. Everyone around me is really judgemental. I have opened up to people but not much is helping. Can you suggest anything, I drink and take drugs to take my mind off this world and I'm damaging myself while I'm still growing up, I'm also from Australia :D
I have been depressed for 3 years now and I don't know what should I do for this. I have had suicidal thoughts for so long now but haven't shared with anyone. You said to talk with your friends but "talking" doesn't really do much tbh. Because when I talk about this with someone they think I am just sad and I will get over it. But this is just so effing deep than that and I think no one (someone who is not suffering from depression) understands how it is really like to be depressed. There was a time when I was standing on my 3 floor roof and about to jump but didn't. I think thinking about the outcomes and my parents stopped me. Now this is just worse than anything.
then seek professional help if its really that bad. go to a shrink, or better a mental facility ( no psychward)
Sahil Bhardwaj my friend, i think talking to a therapist or psychologist who is trained to understand the seriousness of what you are feeling would help more than these people you've spoken to who don't understand how serious this is. A trained professional can work with you on your thoughts and feelings and give you tools to utilize when you have these thoughts. People are out there who care and can help and you just have to find them. It seems like you know yourself how horrible it would be on your family if you were gone and this alone is hope and strength to keep fighting and working towards healing. Be well.
Don't be afraid of speaking to a professional, you'll grow to enjoy it. If you don't vibe with one therapist, find another. Don't give up. It's worth the journey, friend.
But also, maybe you should try to discover what exactly is causing your suffering. Look within. This is my best resource: terebess.hu/zen/mesterek/Thich%20Nhat%20Hanh%20-%20Reconciliation.pdf
Cheers, mate.
Sahil Bhardwaj Listen man, do what makes you happy, if your not happy with yourself and how you are do what you need to do to change that, I'm working on it myself right now
I think the other problem is most guys have poor Fathers and if you are a male that male component is very important. Because obviously there are differences between the two sexes. Just my opinion.
couldn't agree with this point more
Hey Tom i love this video I think everyone has these problems , but i think you could have a better name for this video to get more attention, like hiding depression or something. Because this video could help everyone not only suicidal depressed people...
You think everyone has suicidal thoughts? I'm not sure about that, I hope not at least, lol. This video is properly titled to reach the people who need it most. Cheers, friend.
Im not saying everyone is suicidal , im saying almost 90% of people specialy men have a mask on their face and dont show their feelings , and this vid could help them understand that.
Preach 🙌🏽
helpful words
Help me im in melbourne
Tired of that shit to man. Hahaha
nice video
I notice, that you apology quite often for content, that is serious and negative at the same Time. You dont have to.
E
First!
Here's the thing Tom, sometimes you really can't talk about it. No one I was open with understood what was happening in my brain and opening my mouth was draining to those around me. I am also surprised as to your emotional stance on depression and suicide, maybe because I was the same way towards the end of HS; Depressed, definitely suicidal as I even purchased a knife I thought I was going to do it with. But I felt no sadness, as the steps I were taking seemed logical, as they still do to some extent. It's what I like to call, the "minecraft" effect. I dont know if you have ever played but, when you get into the game, it's so fucking interesting and you're hooked. Until at somepoint, the train comes to a hault when you realize, why am I building all of this shit? and for what? Suddenly the games appeal has vanished, and you quit instantly. That's what it felt happened in my life, all interest of anything was gone. No sadness, just a supreme emptiness. Why do you even think suicide is sad? Do you think death is bad? I find suffering to be sad, and death isn't suffering.
Sorry to hear that, i suffered alot of bullying and depression through all my school years, the problem for me was if i where to go out with it then it would feel like i was doing it for attention, i didn't really know if what i had was "real" depression or enough to go out with it, cause even though i most of the time i looked happy and that's what i thought people would react to aswell, being like but you were always so happy. only now a year after finishing school that i've been able to talk about it with my sister and she was like wow i had no idea, and she has also been suffering from depression. Now to death and suffering, now we don't really know what happens after death but sure we can say you don't exist anymore so no more pain. Suffering and change will always be a part of life, as will joy and happiness, we don't get to choose what we feel but we can choose how to respond to it and let it strenghten us, you must remember a time when you were truly happy, even if you have to remember back to childbirth. just remember you were once happy and you can if you really try, it's not going to be easy and it's not going to be fun at all times, but finding a purpose or a goal or why you are on this earth becomes the new purpose for now until you find what can make you happy again. I suggest looking inside, cause all outer stuff is as i said before changing and will fade in the long run. I also have felt this, and even a loss of identity where i barely knew what i liked to do but waste hours and hours infront of the computer as my younger years, as i grew older i delved into more dangerous addictives as drugs. which i'm to be honest not fully out of yet, but i'm still working every day to better myself. Realize the god essence within you.
Master of puppets shirt is so appropriate when talking about the brainwashing macho stereotype