Story 11 is giving me flashbacks! My exMIL babysat my kid while I was finishing high school and worked a part time job. There's a whole story, but short version is she sued me for custody claiming I abandoned my child. It took until my baby was 14 and cut Grandma out of their life bc they finally saw the manipulation for what it was. Dad remained a part of their life, just not his mother.
being young doesn't mean you cant be a great parent. my mom had me a week after she turned 17 and my dad wasn't much older. they did what they had to and were great parents. Sacrifices had to be made and life may have taken a sharp turn from the path they thought but they did great.
Story 8 she should start billing him for the market price for all the services he doesnt pay for because of her. Childcare, cleaning, personal chef, private tutoring, etc
Story #2 is Crazy...My 1st daughter was supposed to have my recently passed mothers middle name. Babys Mother(now my Ex) decided to change our daughters middle name to her mothers middle name without discussing with me. I was furious to say the least. Just one of many many red flags...
Story 2: MIL actually had the AUDACITY to say “well your DEAD mother isn’t here to help, so she should get my name since I am”. WTF? OP’s mom wasn’t given much choice in the matter since she’s DECEASED. Holy heck.
That MIL could have had it all, if she had just communicated and asked for the grandkid to have two middle names. That's normal. Attacking when the DIL was at her most vulnerable is not.
Story #8, mom is working, at minimum, three jobs to his one. Mom also doesn't get to clock out, because half of her support team is locked in the bedroom.
Story 3: 12 YEARS! Then she tried acting like the bigger person, you knowingly and enthusiastically participated in cheating for 12 years and only stopped when you realized the man who cheated on his wife with you was cheating on your with another woman. AND she was willing to go back to him if he dumbed the girl number 3. Disgusting, I have no sympathy and wish the worst for her.
She thought she could win him, even if he did, he said no one can know about them, meaning he has someone else. Or let’s just say, he did give in, she wouldn’t be the only one. He will always cheat. He cheated on his wife, but she thought she was too cute, and was making him happy, she was more then enough, till he got himself something young and probably better in his eyes, now she is the innocent victim. She wouldn’t have care if the husband would’ve hurt his wife, so why should anyone care about her. If he got with her, he wouldn’t be faithful, then she would be like, why me! I was so good, I loved him, never did anything wrong. She deserves to stab her toe., every time she gets out of bed, and off the couch! Over and over.
As an extremely picky eater myself, I agree that picky eater submission was definitely being a princess. I don't eat fish or red meat and some veg either, but when I'm a guest or being treated to a dinner I'll eat what's on offer as I know it's the thought that counts. For example, lamb turns my stomach. Eating it makes me feel sick and I hate the greasy aftertaste. My ex's family loved lamb and it was a special occasion dish that his mother would put lots of effort into. I loved her and would never insult her or the family by turning my nose up at her cooking. Where I live, different meals have different meanings, so unless you couldn't eat for health reasons, that is the height of bad manners. Demanding a meal just to be made for you is ridiculous as its extra time, effort and cost. At home my current partner cooks as he loves to and I'd normally just go for a meat that can cook in the oven while he makes steak or something and we'd both have veg and chips (fries to americans) or potatoes etc. Just to clarify, I was a picky eater from birth, never grew out of it and have even tried forcing myself to retry foods over the years. I found out last year I've autism so I think that's why
Story 3... Ascon 1 for specific question, Ascon 2 all told. For the specific question, I went 1 because she was a willing participant for 12 years and only told for revenge. On the whole though, I don't view her as a bad person, just damaged.
Story 3 is so bad. Everything else aside, only considering her motivations for telling the wife, that pretty much breaks the scale. She's floating out there in a black hole of Asconaut.
Story #8. I lived thru this exact issue. My ex husband and I got married very young, had two sons and I was a stay at home mom. He wouldn't have anything to do with me or our kids. I begged him to do family stuff, but he refused. He only wanted to drink beer and watch TV and would get mad and tell me I was ungrateful when I would all him to participate in family activities. I also had an issue with him belittling me, and constantly picking at me. So I filed for divorce. Turned out he was a bad alcoholic, and a drug user. I guess I turned a blind eye. I also found out he had been sleeping with his drinking work friend while we were married. Her husband called and told me. With that info I was happy we were no longer married. He's still a jerk to this day
If she has multiple personalities, that doesn't have to be a red flag? I'm friends with a system and she's a wonderful person in a happy marriage. The issue I guess would be becoming aware of the fact (if that is what's happening), and figuring out how to go about living with that reality.
I agree if it is in fact D.I.D. and there are also othed conditions that can cause other people to wonder if they are the same person or not. Bipolar disorder, major depressive disorder, histrionic personality disorder ect. If identified and treated I agree with you. What scares me is how he said she seemed too calm. Sometimes that can be a warning sign that they could be at risk for doing harm to themselves or others.
I think that the issue would be the way she is treating other people and going about her life while undiagnosed if she does have DID. Cutting people off, stonewalling, refusing to take accountability are all red flags, regardless of what diagnoses you have. Learning a diagnosis would help her understand how to help herself, quite possibly.
The love triangle with the eighteen-year-olds is crazy. Best friend says she has explained numerous times over the last three weeks that she's hanging out with the ex but they aren't dates. Hinting that the ex wants them to be dates. Is she trying to get her friends approval before dating her ex? Are there more people in the friend group that she fears judgment from? Even if they invited her to hang out with them are we supposed to believe her friends don't know her work schedule? To me it sounds like they are planning these events to be without her on purpose otherwise she would be able to make at least one of them right? Also, the ex just happens to run into the two of them at the mall? Or did he go there on purpose knowing they would both be there? Implying the friend is saying I can't hang out with you I'm going to the mall with your ex "and he's like now's my chance to head over there and casually being up the leggings I bought!! Also I think it's pretty s***** it's only been 3 weeks and already the friend is hanging out with the X. Who does that? If you're all friends and you want to stay friends thats fine but multiple hangouts alone? Buying her clothes?? I would never do that to my friends and most of their ex's would understand that. So something super fishy here. Biggest unanswered question: who broke up with who? Did he do it because of feelings he had for the friend? Or did she do it and he's just trying to make her jealous and sad?
I think it's pretty obvious the friend and the ex like each other and it's only a matter of time until they hook up and start dating. Otherwise, the friend wouldn't insist on continuing to see the ex despite the hurt it's causing her friend. I think OP deserves better than both of them and should just drop the dead weight from her life.
THE SOFA STORY: IMO it seems he isn't trying to do anything to keep his marriage on track. To call it silly for getting rid of the sofa, is a RED FLAG to me. She is probably, in her mind, questioning the whole getting back together. Did he do the minimum to get her back? Was MIL involved so the grandparents could have a presence in grand baby's lives? AND, was that the end goal? I pray she proceeds slowly.
As a legitimately picky eater...probably stemming from childhood...I really relate to OP in story 10. I'm seeing at she wasn't as demanding as it sounded, but trying to be helpful with recommendations. I've always been willing to try new things, especially for a guy I like/his family - but there have been instances where it either hurts me a tiny bit to try it, or else, I genuinely cannot try it (orange caviar on sourdough w/butter). I mean, I never have made a fucking stink about it lmfao....just ate whatever I could, and when I couldn't eat something, tried to let them know as gently as possible it was a me thing. Which is true. BUT. I have respect for someone with specific and peculiar taste buds to try to communicate this to their soon-to-be-in-laws, while also showing suggestions for things that they would like, in hopes to be accommodated as a guest. They're engaged - she expects to be around this family forever - why not be her authentic self?
#1, I think they handled it like adults. #2, that husband is a keeper. He did exactly what he should have done. #3, It is one thing if she didn't know about him being married, but she did. She is a step below the husband in this situation. #5, Yes she is unreasonable. Sounds like she is jelious of her sister-in-law. #6, Completely agree with Dusty. #7, She should have gone in and enjoyed her party. #8, She is completely in the right. #9, NTA, she did the right thing and should not feel guilty. #10, She could have brought her own dish. I am a very picky eater, I will always offer to bring a dish, I know I will eat. #11, She warned her mom. She did the right thing.
story 9- I'd give OP a 2 on the scale because they mentioned that the food thing was due to some sort of trauma. My big question is, did they even try to explain things to MIL or did they just say I won't be eating such-n-such with not explanation? Also, how hard would it have been for them to bring their own dish, I hate showing up to family dinners empty handed. SMH
I wonder the ages of the two (OP and her boss) in story three. If there’s a large age gap I could see it being a grooming situation- though OP still isn’t in the clear.
That's one thing people need to realize. Sometimes you unintentionally get yourself into these situations and by the time you realize that there is another person, you're in too deep. The guy has a hold on you (hooray manipulation and gaslighting /s) and it honestly does take a lot of strength to break free of that. But at the end of the day, it's a matter of accepting responsibility for your actions.
For the couch story… to me it just seems like the in-laws/parents are very disrespectful to OP. They know the reason and they still kept it? If that was my child I would have been bending over backwards for her and shame my child for their behavior/action. They are still accepting that behavior for him in my mind.
Story #3: bagging a cheater is not a flex. And to the girl dumb enough to be strung along for 12 years: SERIOUSLY? 12 YEARS?? The disrespect you showed to his wife is astounding. She deserved better than that. Do better. Learn from this.
Last story, mom is mentally unstable and dangerous (possibly schizophrenic). OP better move far away to protect her future children from mommy dearest.
Teen girls and ex boyfriend... Cant control how shee feels? Oh yes she most certainly can. She is no longer with thw boy, she has absolutely zero say in who her best friend hangs out with. She just wants control and cant stand the fact that bestie is doing things with the ex that wither never got to do or just never did. She needs to grow up and get iver it. Bestie needs to do what she wants to do and not let another bratty little girl give her stipulations on rhier friendship
One for telling wife yeah shitty for y she deside to tell wife but at least she did tell her wish people would at least try once to talk to wife when find out married even if it's would u want to know if husband cheating I wish I knew sooner
HE SAID ABOUT SOMETHING SILLY i would rip them a new one so f fast silly was is silly when you doing it while I watched our child I would totally be way more explicit but this is RUclips
MIL story - I wonder if there is a chance something is medically wrong. It seems really strange for that behavior to come out of nowhere… I wonder if there is a chance she is developing some form of dementia
20:23 I'm not a fan of villainizing the woman who was manipulated and lied to. He was the one in the relationship. He was her BOSS. It's 2023. Do better.
12 years? An adult. And you excusing her? If that is 2023, I want to go back a few years. You are treating an adult woman like she is a child. I find that quiet alarming as an adult woman.
She was an adult. He is a dirt bag but she isn't innocent. No one who sleeps with a married person is a sh*t person. She knew he was married but thought he was honest? 😂😂😂
This lady who was carrying on a 12-year affair with her boss is just...the worst. Ugh.
She wasted 12 yrs! 12 yrs having stay a dirty secret. I don't understand people like this!
As someone with BPD, sounds like story #1 sounds like a personality disorder from previous trauma.
Amazing of the husband in the second one with the baby and the passed mom name. The husband deserves all his pillows be cool on both side. 🙏🙏🙏
I have to remember that one!!😂
Story 11 is giving me flashbacks! My exMIL babysat my kid while I was finishing high school and worked a part time job. There's a whole story, but short version is she sued me for custody claiming I abandoned my child. It took until my baby was 14 and cut Grandma out of their life bc they finally saw the manipulation for what it was. Dad remained a part of their life, just not his mother.
Story #2… how did grandma lose her mind overnight?
being young doesn't mean you cant be a great parent. my mom had me a week after she turned 17 and my dad wasn't much older. they did what they had to and were great parents. Sacrifices had to be made and life may have taken a sharp turn from the path they thought but they did great.
Story 8 she should start billing him for the market price for all the services he doesnt pay for because of her. Childcare, cleaning, personal chef, private tutoring, etc
Story 3: Let her? Didn't she already own it to begin with? She should have burned it from the get-go. As an effungy!😈
Another grandma going crazy…
I think entitled Fiancé is an Ascon 2. I believe Ascon 1 is reserved for people like the guy who left the children at sister’s house unattended.
Same, she sounds like she's neurodivergent in some way, and the food issues may be really severe. I don't think she was wrong to ask for accomodation.
Story #2 is Crazy...My 1st daughter was supposed to have my recently passed mothers middle name. Babys Mother(now my Ex) decided to change our daughters middle name to her mothers middle name without discussing with me. I was furious to say the least. Just one of many many red flags...
Story 2: MIL actually had the AUDACITY to say “well your DEAD mother isn’t here to help, so she should get my name since I am”.
WTF? OP’s mom wasn’t given much choice in the matter since she’s DECEASED. Holy heck.
That MIL could have had it all, if she had just communicated and asked for the grandkid to have two middle names. That's normal. Attacking when the DIL was at her most vulnerable is not.
ha! that brother got what he deserves for demanding someone else care for his kids.
Well, he needed her to watch his kids. It'll just be an extended stay now. 🤷🏽
Story #8, mom is working, at minimum, three jobs to his one. Mom also doesn't get to clock out, because half of her support team is locked in the bedroom.
With that last one, no way to save that. She's been begging for years, he's in general dismissive and he doesn't care
Story 3 is giving 2014 The Other Woman plot 😂 glad OP realized her worth and that man is 🗑
Story 6: how did she end up at the ex-bf’s house if she’s too scared to drive?
Story 3: 12 YEARS! Then she tried acting like the bigger person, you knowingly and enthusiastically participated in cheating for 12 years and only stopped when you realized the man who cheated on his wife with you was cheating on your with another woman. AND she was willing to go back to him if he dumbed the girl number 3. Disgusting, I have no sympathy and wish the worst for her.
She thought she could win him, even if he did, he said no one can know about them, meaning he has someone else. Or let’s just say, he did give in, she wouldn’t be the only one. He will always cheat. He cheated on his wife, but she thought she was too cute, and was making him happy, she was more then enough, till he got himself something young and probably better in his eyes, now she is the innocent victim. She wouldn’t have care if the husband would’ve hurt his wife, so why should anyone care about her. If he got with her, he wouldn’t be faithful, then she would be like, why me! I was so good, I loved him, never did anything wrong. She deserves to stab her toe., every time she gets out of bed, and off the couch! Over and over.
Thanks for the update
As an extremely picky eater myself, I agree that picky eater submission was definitely being a princess. I don't eat fish or red meat and some veg either, but when I'm a guest or being treated to a dinner I'll eat what's on offer as I know it's the thought that counts. For example, lamb turns my stomach. Eating it makes me feel sick and I hate the greasy aftertaste. My ex's family loved lamb and it was a special occasion dish that his mother would put lots of effort into. I loved her and would never insult her or the family by turning my nose up at her cooking. Where I live, different meals have different meanings, so unless you couldn't eat for health reasons, that is the height of bad manners. Demanding a meal just to be made for you is ridiculous as its extra time, effort and cost. At home my current partner cooks as he loves to and I'd normally just go for a meat that can cook in the oven while he makes steak or something and we'd both have veg and chips (fries to americans) or potatoes etc.
Just to clarify, I was a picky eater from birth, never grew out of it and have even tried forcing myself to retry foods over the years. I found out last year I've autism so I think that's why
Story 3... Ascon 1 for specific question, Ascon 2 all told. For the specific question, I went 1 because she was a willing participant for 12 years and only told for revenge. On the whole though, I don't view her as a bad person, just damaged.
Ummm... correct me if I'm wrong please, but for the update, didn't in the original story they say that she WASN'T infertile?
That mom just wanted a do over baby
Story 3 is so bad. Everything else aside, only considering her motivations for telling the wife, that pretty much breaks the scale. She's floating out there in a black hole of Asconaut.
Good for the babies Mom
Story #8. I lived thru this exact issue. My ex husband and I got married very young, had two sons and I was a stay at home mom. He wouldn't have anything to do with me or our kids. I begged him to do family stuff, but he refused. He only wanted to drink beer and watch TV and would get mad and tell me I was ungrateful when I would all him to participate in family activities. I also had an issue with him belittling me, and constantly picking at me. So I filed for divorce. Turned out he was a bad alcoholic, and a drug user. I guess I turned a blind eye. I also found out he had been sleeping with his drinking work friend while we were married. Her husband called and told me. With that info I was happy we were no longer married. He's still a jerk to this day
If she has multiple personalities, that doesn't have to be a red flag? I'm friends with a system and she's a wonderful person in a happy marriage. The issue I guess would be becoming aware of the fact (if that is what's happening), and figuring out how to go about living with that reality.
I agree if it is in fact D.I.D. and there are also othed conditions that can cause other people to wonder if they are the same person or not. Bipolar disorder, major depressive disorder, histrionic personality disorder ect. If identified and treated I agree with you. What scares me is how he said she seemed too calm. Sometimes that can be a warning sign that they could be at risk for doing harm to themselves or others.
I think that the issue would be the way she is treating other people and going about her life while undiagnosed if she does have DID. Cutting people off, stonewalling, refusing to take accountability are all red flags, regardless of what diagnoses you have. Learning a diagnosis would help her understand how to help herself, quite possibly.
The love triangle with the eighteen-year-olds is crazy.
Best friend says she has explained numerous times over the last three weeks that she's hanging out with the ex but they aren't dates. Hinting that the ex wants them to be dates.
Is she trying to get her friends approval before dating her ex? Are there more people in the friend group that she fears judgment from? Even if they invited her to hang out with them are we supposed to believe her friends don't know her work schedule? To me it sounds like they are planning these events to be without her on purpose otherwise she would be able to make at least one of them right? Also, the ex just happens to run into the two of them at the mall? Or did he go there on purpose knowing they would both be there? Implying the friend is saying I can't hang out with you I'm going to the mall with your ex "and he's like now's my chance to head over there and casually being up the leggings I bought!!
Also I think it's pretty s***** it's only been 3 weeks and already the friend is hanging out with the X. Who does that? If you're all friends and you want to stay friends thats fine but multiple hangouts alone? Buying her clothes?? I would never do that to my friends and most of their ex's would understand that. So something super fishy here.
Biggest unanswered question: who broke up with who? Did he do it because of feelings he had for the friend? Or did she do it and he's just trying to make her jealous and sad?
I think it's pretty obvious the friend and the ex like each other and it's only a matter of time until they hook up and start dating. Otherwise, the friend wouldn't insist on continuing to see the ex despite the hurt it's causing her friend.
I think OP deserves better than both of them and should just drop the dead weight from her life.
Is it possible to link the first part of the first story?
Instant messenger? How old is this story 😂
THE SOFA STORY: IMO it seems he isn't trying to do anything to keep his marriage on track. To call it silly for getting rid of the sofa, is a RED FLAG to me. She is probably, in her mind, questioning the whole getting back together. Did he do the minimum to get her back? Was MIL involved so the grandparents could have a presence in grand baby's lives? AND, was that the end goal? I pray she proceeds slowly.
As a legitimately picky eater...probably stemming from childhood...I really relate to OP in story 10. I'm seeing at she wasn't as demanding as it sounded, but trying to be helpful with recommendations. I've always been willing to try new things, especially for a guy I like/his family - but there have been instances where it either hurts me a tiny bit to try it, or else, I genuinely cannot try it (orange caviar on sourdough w/butter). I mean, I never have made a fucking stink about it lmfao....just ate whatever I could, and when I couldn't eat something, tried to let them know as gently as possible it was a me thing. Which is true. BUT. I have respect for someone with specific and peculiar taste buds to try to communicate this to their soon-to-be-in-laws, while also showing suggestions for things that they would like, in hopes to be accommodated as a guest. They're engaged - she expects to be around this family forever - why not be her authentic self?
#1, I think they handled it like adults. #2, that husband is a keeper. He did exactly what he should have done. #3, It is one thing if she didn't know about him being married, but she did. She is a step below the husband in this situation. #5, Yes she is unreasonable. Sounds like she is jelious of her sister-in-law. #6, Completely agree with Dusty. #7, She should have gone in and enjoyed her party. #8, She is completely in the right. #9, NTA, she did the right thing and should not feel guilty. #10, She could have brought her own dish. I am a very picky eater, I will always offer to bring a dish, I know I will eat. #11, She warned her mom. She did the right thing.
This is exactly how my ex-husband was...
story 9- I'd give OP a 2 on the scale because they mentioned that the food thing was due to some sort of trauma.
My big question is, did they even try to explain things to MIL or did they just say I won't be eating such-n-such with not explanation?
Also, how hard would it have been for them to bring their own dish, I hate showing up to family dinners empty handed. SMH
I wonder the ages of the two (OP and her boss) in story three. If there’s a large age gap I could see it being a grooming situation- though OP still isn’t in the clear.
That's one thing people need to realize. Sometimes you unintentionally get yourself into these situations and by the time you realize that there is another person, you're in too deep. The guy has a hold on you (hooray manipulation and gaslighting /s) and it honestly does take a lot of strength to break free of that. But at the end of the day, it's a matter of accepting responsibility for your actions.
The person should of provided her own dinner or eaten what her ML made
For the couch story… to me it just seems like the in-laws/parents are very disrespectful to OP. They know the reason and they still kept it? If that was my child I would have been bending over backwards for her and shame my child for their behavior/action. They are still accepting that behavior for him in my mind.
Story #3: bagging a cheater is not a flex. And to the girl dumb enough to be strung along for 12 years: SERIOUSLY? 12 YEARS?? The disrespect you showed to his wife is astounding. She deserved better than that. Do better. Learn from this.
Why would you object to having her brother walk her down the aisle? OP is definitely on the scale. What's her problem ?
Last story, mom is mentally unstable and dangerous (possibly schizophrenic). OP better move far away to protect her future children from mommy dearest.
Teen girls and ex boyfriend... Cant control how shee feels? Oh yes she most certainly can. She is no longer with thw boy, she has absolutely zero say in who her best friend hangs out with. She just wants control and cant stand the fact that bestie is doing things with the ex that wither never got to do or just never did. She needs to grow up and get iver it. Bestie needs to do what she wants to do and not let another bratty little girl give her stipulations on rhier friendship
Does anyone think mom in story 11 messed with her daughter's bc?
Mother-in-law has a screw loose I think. That’s no excuse, but it’s just really strange behavior on her part. Narcissistic at the very least.
One for telling wife yeah shitty for y she deside to tell wife but at least she did tell her wish people would at least try once to talk to wife when find out married even if it's would u want to know if husband cheating I wish I knew sooner
Your friend isn't much of a friend, just saying. 😮
HE SAID ABOUT SOMETHING SILLY i would rip them a new one so f fast silly was is silly when you doing it while I watched our child I would totally be way more explicit but this is RUclips
The 3rd story sounds made up
MIL story - I wonder if there is a chance something is medically wrong. It seems really strange for that behavior to come out of nowhere… I wonder if there is a chance she is developing some form of dementia
20:23 I'm not a fan of villainizing the woman who was manipulated and lied to. He was the one in the relationship. He was her BOSS. It's 2023. Do better.
12 years? An adult. And you excusing her? If that is 2023, I want to go back a few years. You are treating an adult woman like she is a child. I find that quiet alarming as an adult woman.
She was an adult. He is a dirt bag but she isn't innocent. No one who sleeps with a married person is a sh*t person. She knew he was married but thought he was honest? 😂😂😂