Totally! Sleep deprivation is a proven torture mechanism that narcs use every single time. So much so that it has become my first red flag to notice. They expect their love bombing to be so effective around you that the mere suggestion of wanting or needing to sleep causes them a deep wound. They will absolutely not allow you to sleep. Sleeping is important for your physical and mental health, your awareness, your survival, none of which benefits them. How they manage to go without sleep I will never understand, but the moment I am not allowed to sleep quietly and for as long as I need, I am out. I even had one so disturbed and disturbing that I would wake up on my own only to find him staring at me sleeping. Run for your lives!!!!
I was sleep deprived by my narcissistic father when I was living with him after college. He was trying to sabotage my job and get me fired so I would have to work as his low wage labor slave at his construction business. Sleep deprivation messed up my body for years. I went no contact with him in 2016. Another thing I've noticed is that narcissists at my work have tried to cause me sleep deprivation by insulting me. I found a technique through ASSC Direct RUclips channel that helped me beat the rumination I was going through from the insults I was getting at work. After this guy at my work insulted me, I was ruminating on it that night, but I made sure fought it off by thinking that I'm not going to water that seed. The next day I showed up to work feeling good from a good night's rest and I noticed that narcissist who insulted me looked upset because I was feeling good.
Narcissists love to throw insults they know I'll ruminate about and get sleep deprived over, but I figured out how to beat their evil seeds by not watering them. They hate it when they see me and I'm feeling good.
If you are so sick of the drama, trauma, and chaos- and want real powerful strategies for success - I’ve got the answer for you - sign up for our free webinar and start your transformative journey- this is the day your life changes!>> slaythenarc.com ✨
I read on Quora where someone said that her narc sat under a blanket all weekend. I thought of that when you said that they use sleep to not have to deal with things, not have to take responsibility, and to isolate their partner.
Mine, aside from controlling when the date begins and ends, always needs to be at home and in his bed at 8 pm. I used to believe it was because he was up very early in the morning and at work by 7 am. But realize now, of course, that it is about the control and the total disregard for whether or not I want to go home, date over, so early.
This makes sense. My ex would stay up at all hours of the night on the phone doing who knows what and gambling. I finally got fed up with it and confronted the situation and he kicked me out. I ended up moving in with a “friend.” She was always over stepping her boundaries with me and mistreating her boyfriend. Didn’t give a darn about how I felt and everything was about her. She would yell and scream at her boyfriend at all hours of the night. I would wake up in a panic bc of the screaming. Then forcing him to sleep in the living room and waking him up just to argue with him. I had to pay for her misery and lost so much sleep bc of her. I was in constant stress and anxiety. I finally had an opportunity to move in with another friend and it’s been so peaceful. I feel like I’m on constant eggshells and just want to get back on my feet to be able to afford a place of my own again. It’s been very tough and am doing the best that I can to keep the peace.
I knew one who would angry nap all day when he didn't like something that was going on. If he was napping, it was always a bad sign that drama was coming.
After nearly 51 years and my Narc dad has done this with my mother. He has a insurance policy on her, told me he expects her to go first. I try to warn her sister to get her to help me fight for my mom.
My ex boyfriend would keep me up all night having heated arguments. My soon to he ex husband would wake me up around 2 or 3 in the morning yelling at me, turning the lights on and pulling the blankets off of me. They would both do this especially when I had important appointments or meetings the next day!
Rebecca Zung's advices are far better than some of the professional advisors because she speaks from practical point of view from real exposure. I think I have graduated from narcissist sister I have after 40 odd years. YUP ALL THANKS TO REBECCA ZUNG!
she would be always a sleep until midday, and i would have to be silent with my headphones walking on my tiptoes… horrible! she will hurry me cause she needed to sleep all the time, when we had visits she would ose on the room and get on her pajamas and be scrolling their phone even if she was not sleeping, she would use that excuse not to be present in important events for me, it was draining and gaslighting with negative comments, nothing was enough interesting for her. i’m glad i got out of it. the most empty phrase she said … i love you… but there was no reason. just to make it stick in my head.. but the emptiness of her voice when she said that was evident. once i had to tell her don’t tell me you love me… show it to me and she start getting al nervous. Lesson learned. thank you for this info ❤
TOTALLY! My covert/passive aggressive former wife only slept normally when she knew she had to leave the house for work. If she wasn’t sleeping she was glued to her Iphone.
Their punishment is that they have to live as themselves 24 hours a day. There is no escaping the appalling creature within. If they wake up at 3am hoping it was all a bad dream.....it isn't. That really is their life and they are condemned to suffer themselves for eternity. When I think of them living that life 24/7 it makes me laugh out loud and I feel better. LOL.
@@Salutimondo someone must’ve been a narcissist in your life! I would say you’ve got some experience with them. Hopefully you steer clear or go no contact!
Omg Rebecca I’m a narcissist! Really I have a thing about bed time probably from childhood. And sometimes I like to sneak out to 7-11 thee or four in the morning for coffee an a cig. But I don’t disturb anyone. Though I can relate when in the short three years married to a narc I got like no sleep. I slept like a baby when I got away from him .
The weirdest wasno matter wgat time aftergoibg to sleep, you ccould say their name and they woukd respond immediately as if they were just laying there wide awake... very creepy
Mine has to get up before anyone else in the street because he's the self appointed watchman. I happened to be talking to someone and I mentioned that my cat got me out of bed to play at 04.30, so he changed his time to 04.15, .... while I slept on, oblivious the next time my cat wanted to play!
The narcissist and I are divorcing. It's the toughest things that I ever had to do. The whole process is so stressful and she's incredibly difficult to deal with. I've been having these irregular sleep patterns and even lost 20lbs. I think sleep patterns described here are normal for anyone going through something. I can't wait for her plotting and schemes to subside once its over
@@nc732 mine is going on 13. 5 years to go now. But started at around 2 to 3 years old as well. Be very aware of parental alienation. And using your child to get to you. Trust me, it can get really ugly.
My mom has always slept At her desk or just Lay down a Few hours and literally jump back up I also have adopted her habit of not sleeping through the night
My soon-to-be-narc-ex-husband tried (and succeeded) to control MY sleep. The time I went to bed, how long I slept, and what time I awakened in the morning were all issues for him and up for debate. And, of course, HIS sleep bizarre and inconsistent behavior/patterns were NEVER a topic of conversation. Not that I would ever try to control someone else's BIOLOGICAL needs, including sleep. And here's the rub: I was taking prescribed medication (and correctly) that overly sedated me. So, it wasn't a situation where I was lazy or whatever else he accused me of. The level of shaming that my husband dished out to me re: my sleep has only recently been understood, by me, as a result of me receiving psychological help for severe insomnia, because sleep meds no longer worked. Thankfully, this treatment and me leaving my husband are allowing me to reclaim my sleep, which I now protect with my life.
Is it possible to negotiate with narcissists and not feel like you're losing your power? Introducing....OUTSMART A NARCISSIST A 4-STEP PROVEN PLAN To Take Your Power Back! Learn more >> slaythenarc.com ✨
Totally. Sorry my back hurts and took meds and slept all day. (No contact 48 hours) Totally. Sorry a cat bit my leg and I had to drive home and am so tired. (No contact 24 hours) Totally. I ate too much and in a 'food coma' so going to sleep now (7pm until 11am). Used as an excuse to fake sleeping and really staying awake and seeing a third party. My intuition was not wrong.
My ex used to sleep through the day which i found weird. Like he used work shift work but when it came to his 4 days off work he would still sleep through the day up until he went back to work. Also he made excuses when he said he would come & visit then turns around and says oh i need a nap b4 work.
That sounds like a learned trauma response. Especially the comment about the blanket over the head. Those may be childhood neglect and trauma response symptoms. Example. Video ruclips.net/p/PLaCtNpOlGafstrBDVc_FSaBfkb5Op96U6&feature=shared
I used to end up with the previous one absolutely flipping his shit if I moved in bed. I used to lay like a rock trying not to move. I ended up with insomnia, 1-3 hours sleep a night for many years.
Yes. Bedtime is whenever they get tired, lights, fan, and tv always on
By following my 4 Step plan, you can win when dealing with narcissism! Learn more >> slaythenarc.com 🌟
I always wondered why he always had to have the lights on all over the house at night.
Totally! Sleep deprivation is a proven torture mechanism that narcs use every single time. So much so that it has become my first red flag to notice. They expect their love bombing to be so effective around you that the mere suggestion of wanting or needing to sleep causes them a deep wound. They will absolutely not allow you to sleep. Sleeping is important for your physical and mental health, your awareness, your survival, none of which benefits them.
How they manage to go without sleep I will never understand, but the moment I am not allowed to sleep quietly and for as long as I need, I am out.
I even had one so disturbed and disturbing that I would wake up on my own only to find him staring at me sleeping. Run for your lives!!!!
I was sleep deprived by my narcissistic father when I was living with him after college. He was trying to sabotage my job and get me fired so I would have to work as his low wage labor slave at his construction business. Sleep deprivation messed up my body for years. I went no contact with him in 2016.
Another thing I've noticed is that narcissists at my work have tried to cause me sleep deprivation by insulting me. I found a technique through ASSC Direct RUclips channel that helped me beat the rumination I was going through from the insults I was getting at work. After this guy at my work insulted me, I was ruminating on it that night, but I made sure fought it off by thinking that I'm not going to water that seed. The next day I showed up to work feeling good from a good night's rest and I noticed that narcissist who insulted me looked upset because I was feeling good.
Narcissists love to throw insults they know I'll ruminate about and get sleep deprived over, but I figured out how to beat their evil seeds by not watering them. They hate it when they see me and I'm feeling good.
If you are so sick of the drama, trauma, and chaos- and want real powerful strategies for success - I’ve got the answer for you - sign up for our free webinar and start your transformative journey- this is the day your life changes!>> slaythenarc.com ✨
Totally! Waking up to argue and generally disrupt.
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I read on Quora where someone said that her narc sat under a blanket all weekend. I thought of that when you said that they use sleep to not have to deal with things, not have to take responsibility, and to isolate their partner.
How are you doing now? Hope feeling well and getting your power back! Perhaps my upcoming webinar might help - slaythenarc.com
Mine, aside from controlling when the date begins and ends, always needs to be at home and in his bed at 8 pm. I used to believe it was because he was up very early in the morning and at work by 7 am. But realize now, of course, that it is about the control and the total disregard for whether or not I want to go home, date over, so early.
This makes sense. My ex would stay up at all hours of the night on the phone doing who knows what and gambling. I finally got fed up with it and confronted the situation and he kicked me out. I ended up moving in with a “friend.” She was always over stepping her boundaries with me and mistreating her boyfriend. Didn’t give a darn about how I felt and everything was about her. She would yell and scream at her boyfriend at all hours of the night. I would wake up in a panic bc of the screaming. Then forcing him to sleep in the living room and waking him up just to argue with him. I had to pay for her misery and lost so much sleep bc of her. I was in constant stress and anxiety. I finally had an opportunity to move in with another friend and it’s been so peaceful. I feel like I’m on constant eggshells and just want to get back on my feet to be able to afford a place of my own again. It’s been very tough and am doing the best that I can to keep the peace.
I knew one who would angry nap all day when he didn't like something that was going on. If he was napping, it was always a bad sign that drama was coming.
This is crazy but it's so true. I'm so glad someone is talking about this finally. Bcuz nobody believes me when I tell the about my ex
I've seen this totally. They love to keep you off balance ❤❤
By following my 4 Step plan, you can win when dealing with narcissism! Learn more >> slaythenarc.com 🌟
After nearly 51 years and my Narc dad has done this with my mother. He has a insurance policy on her, told me he expects her to go first. I try to warn her sister to get her to help me fight for my mom.
Sounds pretty ominous to me.
You’re doing great trying to protect your ma!
By following my 4 Step plan, you can win when dealing with narcissism! Learn more >> slaythenarc.com 🌟
@@MaryWallace-wv2bn Thank you, it is dark. Some of these Narcissist are dark and I think on the psychopath side of the spectrum.
My ex boyfriend would keep me up all night having heated arguments.
My soon to he ex husband would wake me up around 2 or 3 in the morning yelling at me, turning the lights on and pulling the blankets off of me. They would both do this especially when I had important appointments or meetings the next day!
The signs were there. I hope you ran away from this relationship
So true, and I never connected the dots between their disorder and the wired sleep disorder
Same! We even went to a sleep lab to get medical help.
By following my 4 Step plan, you can win when dealing with narcissism! Learn more >> slaythenarc.com 🌟
Rebecca Zung's advices are far better than some of the professional advisors because she speaks from practical point of view from real exposure. I think I have graduated from narcissist sister I have after 40 odd years. YUP ALL THANKS TO REBECCA ZUNG!
My ex used to get mad at me for being able to fall asleep quickly and once in a while wake up mad at me for the things I did to her in her dreams.
Lol
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Totally another favorite tactic my narcissistic father uses when I'm around him.
By following my 4 Step plan, you can win when dealing with narcissism! Learn more >> slaythenarc.com 🌟
she would be always a sleep until midday, and i would have to be silent with my headphones walking on my tiptoes… horrible! she will hurry me cause she needed to sleep all the time, when we had visits she would ose on the room and get on her pajamas and be scrolling their phone even if she was not sleeping, she would use that excuse not to be present in important events for me, it was draining and gaslighting with negative comments, nothing was enough interesting for her.
i’m glad i got out of it. the most empty phrase she said … i love you… but there was no reason. just to make it stick in my head.. but the emptiness of her voice when she said that was evident. once i had to tell her don’t tell me you love me… show it to me and she start getting al nervous. Lesson learned. thank you for this info ❤
Totally! Spouse would watch tv till appx 2-2:30 AM knowing my workday begin at 4AM. Other times would sleep during the day. Taxing!!!!!
By following my 4 Step plan, you can win when dealing with narcissism! Learn more >> slaythenarc.com 🌟
The restless part is so true. My ex Narc won't cuddle while sleeping...
This is confusing me. I hate to cuddle unless it’s with one of my pets😮
He used to cuddle in increments. Like weird yo I just eventually gave up wanting it because he started to complain
@@irenehamilton2981 I just gave up and let her sleep on one side while i keep the other side.
@@SherryTomlinson-mk7gm so you dont hate to cuddle.
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totally
Love your contents. Great video about weird sleep patterns. To the point, really.
👌
Brgds
TOTALLY! My covert/passive aggressive former wife only slept normally when she knew she had to leave the house for work. If she wasn’t sleeping she was glued to her Iphone.
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So true.....I am so glad you made this video.
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Hi Rebecca I wish you could do a video on the Narcissist and alchohol abuse.
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Sounds like their obsession with themselves means they can’t escape themselves ! They push out whats on the inside.
Their punishment is that they have to live as themselves 24 hours a day. There is no escaping the appalling creature within. If they wake up at 3am hoping it was all a bad dream.....it isn't. That really is their life and they are condemned to suffer themselves for eternity. When I think of them living that life 24/7 it makes me laugh out loud and I feel better. LOL.
@@Salutimondo someone must’ve been a narcissist in your life! I would say you’ve got some experience with them. Hopefully you steer clear or go no contact!
@@Salutimondo Io Capisce!
My narcissist used to be up on Facebook. Her favorite pass time was checking community forums for all the crime in the area.
By following my 4 Step plan, you can win when dealing with narcissism! Learn more >> slaythenarc.com 🌟
Mine destroyed MY sleep.
Omg Rebecca I’m a narcissist! Really I have a thing about bed time probably from childhood. And sometimes I like to sneak out to 7-11 thee or four in the morning for coffee an a cig. But I don’t disturb anyone. Though I can relate when in the short three years married to a narc I got like no sleep. I slept like a baby when I got away from him .
The weirdest wasno matter wgat time aftergoibg to sleep, you ccould say their name and they woukd respond immediately as if they were just laying there wide awake... very creepy
It's Time to Break Free for Good...Let's Do This! Sign up for our free webinar and start your transformative journey- slaythenarc.com 💪
Mine has to get up before anyone else in the street because he's the self appointed watchman.
I happened to be talking to someone and I mentioned that my cat got me out of bed to play at 04.30, so he changed his time to 04.15, .... while I slept on, oblivious the next time my cat wanted to play!
The narcissist and I are divorcing. It's the toughest things that I ever had to do. The whole process is so stressful and she's incredibly difficult to deal with. I've been having these irregular sleep patterns and even lost 20lbs. I think sleep patterns described here are normal for anyone going through something. I can't wait for her plotting and schemes to subside once its over
@@nc732 hate to break it to you, but if there are children involved it will go on well into their adulthood.
@@Haley497 I have a 3.5 year old. I believe what you're saying.
@@nc732 mine is going on 13. 5 years to go now. But started at around 2 to 3 years old as well. Be very aware of parental alienation. And using your child to get to you. Trust me, it can get really ugly.
@@Haley497 what do you mean by parental alienation?
This is new to me!
My mom has always slept
At her desk or just
Lay down a
Few hours and literally jump back up I also have adopted her habit of not sleeping through the night
Totally yes
By following my 4 Step plan, you can win when dealing with narcissism! Learn more >> slaythenarc.com 🌟
My mother, who I believe is a passive aggressive, covert narcissist, sleeps a few short hours at a time, both day and night.
Totally!!
My soon-to-be-narc-ex-husband tried (and succeeded) to control MY sleep. The time I went to bed, how long I slept, and what time I awakened in the morning were all issues for him and up for debate. And, of course, HIS sleep bizarre and inconsistent behavior/patterns were NEVER a topic of conversation. Not that I would ever try to control someone else's BIOLOGICAL needs, including sleep. And here's the rub: I was taking prescribed medication (and correctly) that overly sedated me. So, it wasn't a situation where I was lazy or whatever else he accused me of. The level of shaming that my husband dished out to me re: my sleep has only recently been understood, by me, as a result of me receiving psychological help for severe insomnia, because sleep meds no longer worked. Thankfully, this treatment and me leaving my husband are allowing me to reclaim my sleep, which I now protect with my life.
TOTALLY!!!
Is it possible to negotiate with narcissists and not feel like you're losing your power? Introducing....OUTSMART A NARCISSIST A 4-STEP PROVEN PLAN To Take Your Power Back! Learn more >> slaythenarc.com ✨
Totally. Sorry my back hurts and took meds and slept all day. (No contact 48 hours)
Totally. Sorry a cat bit my leg and I had to drive home and am so tired. (No contact 24 hours)
Totally. I ate too much and in a 'food coma' so going to sleep now (7pm until 11am).
Used as an excuse to fake sleeping and really staying awake and seeing a third party. My intuition was not wrong.
TOTALLY!
By following my 4 Step plan, you can win when dealing with narcissism! Learn more >> slaythenarc.com 🌟
My ex used to sleep through the day which i found weird. Like he used work shift work but when it came to his 4 days off work he would still sleep through the day up until he went back to work. Also he made excuses when he said he would come & visit then turns around and says oh i need a nap b4 work.
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Totally
They also control the house by pushing their bedtime on others.
"Totally "
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That sounds like a learned trauma response. Especially the comment about the blanket over the head. Those may be childhood neglect and trauma response symptoms. Example. Video ruclips.net/p/PLaCtNpOlGafstrBDVc_FSaBfkb5Op96U6&feature=shared
Not always true. As a lawyer you should know that generalizing is not wise!
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"Totally''
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Does this tie into how my ex husband would never let me move in bed without permission?
I used to end up with the previous one absolutely flipping his shit if I moved in bed. I used to lay like a rock trying not to move. I ended up with insomnia, 1-3 hours sleep a night for many years.
This sounds more like a bi-polar person than a narc.
These sub humans don't need much sleep
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Mine used to do that watch me while I sleep creepy has hE#$
👍👍
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Thats change you life; not xchange. 😂
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TOTALLY!!!!!
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