@@JonathanS344 I haven't completely. I've been trying for 2-3 years. But always end up relapsing and going back to watching the most f'd up stuff. Although figuring out what triggers me and replacing those habit patterns with something positive has helped me. The more I stay outside of the house and the more busy I am engaged in some activities, the less likely I am to resort to porn to seek some sort of pleasure or dopamine. Also understanding that sobriety is not the solution to addiction. It's actually a connection to either your purpose or people around you. Hanging out with groups of people has definitely been the most helpful thing to me. When you stay alone you almost always end up looking for porn. I personally haven't reached out to a therapist because I'm broke. But in the future I hope to and figure out what negative emotion it is that I'm trying to run away from by watching pornography and also like Dr K said meaninglessness is a big cause of p addiction. So having a goal, a job, and a task should definitely help you in beating this toxic habit.
One intentional thing that helped me was not complete abstinence, but rationing. Like, I'd literally set a weekly alarm to jerk off. That way it wasn't gnawing at the back of my mind all day, but was off-loaded to a device. When the time came (lmao) I set a timer to spend no more than 15 minutes. Boom. Productive adult member of society for the rest of the week. Another un-intentional thing was getting so busy with work, social hobbies, regular workouts, city hiking, friends and eventually gf, so I never had idle time to even think about spanking the monkey. So basically making sure there's someone counting on me to be someplace in person. Leave idle loneliness to stronger willed folks)
The fact that Destiny wasn't multitasking by playing a game in the background tells you how invested he was in this discussion but almost certainly its because he was engaging with Dr. K.
He wasn't gaming on his video of this conversation, and I doubt he would hide himself gaming when he's openly done it for several dozen conversations that he's had with people
Never dated anyone (and was a virgin) until about two years after I graduated college. Six month of intentional learning how to be a good supportive boyfriend and also how sex works definitely easily replaced that “lost” decade of experiences. Speaking from experience, it’s all gonna be ok guys. Sometimes it just takes longer than you’d want
@@fiat_ow7876 met a friend of a friend and we immediately fell for each other. I wanted to be the best person I could for her so I very intentionally worked on my communication skills and we’ve only gotten stronger as a couple. We’re pretty different so we’ve both learned a LOT about life and relationships from each other. Coming up on two years and they’ve been the best of my life
Same! I didn't have my first relationship until 23 and didn't lose my virginity until then either. Now she's my wife, we have a house, I have a good job, and life is good! I was so scared of rejection but as soon as I actually tried I went on multiple dates and pretty quickly found the one I married.
i'm so happy for you guys! its good that all of that waiting paid off! i've wanted to be in a relationship for many years but i was always so scared to talk to girls and even in my mid 20s i still can't do it! lol!
I find that Steven does something very interesting, which is when he and someone else accidentally talk over each other, he would say "go ahead", but also will repeat the last thing that person said. It could just be me, but I don't see it done often, and I find it very considerate and shows how interested you are in the other person's perspective. Really cool
There's actually a conversation technique so to say in Japanese that I think everyone uses there. They often repeat parts of sentences the other person said and I guess they reinforce their attention and all that. I do not know what consequences this has, in what way talking changes but I just think that's quite similar.
It lets the other person know you listened and now are adressing and adding your opinion on what exactly they said, so they can also better understand how what youre saying relates to what theyve said, and what youre trying to get across to them with it. Effective communication skills.
I learned more from this conversation than most media I've consumed over the past year. The information density is fantastic. Thank you for your incredibly insightful commentary. Both you and Destiny.
I really enjoyed the videos from years back where Dr. K talked with Devin Nash about mental health, I think it would be interesting to see another talk as a part of Mental Health May
Was able to tune into half of it and this seemed like a good stream. I agree with Dr. K - I like how Destiny moved conversations and addresses opposing opinions
This will blow your mind - there was a recent meta-analysis that compiled dozens of high quality studies on depression, anxiety, and even schizophrenia, to figure out if there was a common thread underlying them all. After controlling for a host of spurious factors across all the populations, the conclusion for the study found a statistically significant and undeniable proof in the data that Destiny is indeed a girl's name.
I mean just... wow. Never have I felt compelled to take out a notebook and write down pieces of advice from media before, but this video is different. It seems as though each topic they speak on has so much value to the average person, so much PRACTICAL information that can be applied in one's life immediately. They are truly incredible people, who have spent so much time learning about life and mental health. I'll be keeping this in my saved videos forever.
Destiny: “I only wanna take a strong position on something that I feel incredibly grounded in, and for everything else I want to leave myself open to change”
Destiny is amazing. I found him through dr K. I love These interviews I cannot enough of them and I don’t Know why. I have Bipolar depression (recently diagnosed about 2 weeks ago), I’m also diagnosed with MDD (major depressive disorder), anxiety, I also have medication to help me sleep if I’m having trouble. My psychiatrist says I have hallmarks of add/adhd but I haven’t been prescribed with any medication. I’ve known I am hyperactive for years, but I’m scared to ask because I’m not sure I could handle another diagnosis within two months. I have had disorders my whole life and am only now learning to live with it because I’ve just been diagnosed at 38. I hope my family is trying to understand it too but I’m not sure. Thanks for the content Dr K
from my perspective that lack of friction and struggle is because people like me are in a difficult economic situation so we kind of get funneled into very few paths and options. So when you're forced to pick between options that don't work for you, you don't want to put in the extra sacrifice for it time and time again. I want to struggle to get the important things in life, but i'm not even allowed to do that sometimes. People make better decisions when they're in better positions to improve their lives.
I feel like Destiny and Dr K complement eachother so well. They are both similar in the fact that they're clearly very smart introspective guys, but they personalities are complete opposite and that makes for good convo's.
49:09 "as you get older, there really are a lot of things you learn with age" Of course. I'm reminded of the quote from Muhammed Ali, who was quite radical in his youth and then became much more mild and temperate as he got older: "If a man is the same man at age 50 as he was at age 20, he's just wasted 30 years of his life." Nobody should want to stay the same as they get older. It just means you haven't grown at all, and if you aren't growing, what's the point of being alive?
Great content Dr. K. I’m new to your channel and your conversation with Destiny was very interesting and insightful. Big W to the moderation in the live chat for temporarily banning some of the worst chatters I ever seen in a long time. This is supposed to be a positive and safe space for intelligent discourse.
From age 11 I went from my grandmother's to my mother's. And at my mother's I learned how to get away with literally everything. My poor mom was an alcoholic so no boundaries.. Today at 61 I'm still like that. Aimless. I've spent a lot of time focusing on changing that, then got diagnosed w adhd.. Like three months ago😂 listening to Dr k has really helped me more than all the therapists I've ever seen and still see. Light at the end of the tunnel.😂 I've spent my whole life getting away with it all..or so I wrongly thought. Now the price is high because I've not worked towards the age I am now. No savings. No security. Instant gratification with everything but that's a hell of a lot harder than setting a goal and actually working towards it.
jesus i was looking forward to this one but its a long ass video :D thanks for both of your time and effort and that we can watch these videos for free! :)
There are a lot of great topics covered in this conversation. I'll have to remember to come back to this video from time-to-time to review and re-digest the discussion. 🌞
I love talks like these because I used to think Destiny and I were very different on our view points, the more I watch or listen to people I used to disagree with and not understand the more I learn we are not so different afterall. Life should not be an echo chamber and we all have something to learn from somebody. People are multi-faceted, no one person can be right or wrong, its important we take all the bits from each other and learn.
Adults with memory loss are twice as more likely to kill themselves than their counterparts. This is how we lost our beautiful Robin Williams. Working in an Alzheimer's home, I can attest, they want to die. And its heartbreaking.
1:05:00 this is interesting because the only reason I engage in discussion the vast majority of the time is to learn what I might be missing. The conversation may sound like a debate, but I’m actually most of the time merely trying to figure out how two rational intelligent people could possibly come to two different conclusions if given the same set of facts. For me, it’s never about winning or losing. I don’t remember a single time I’ve ever thought about trying to win in a conversation or debate. It’s also probably why although I sound very obstinate in my beliefs, people are often surprised at how quickly I change them when presented with new information.
Just saying I've been wanting this again for so long. I follow Destiny and Dr K and love seeijg these two humble intellectuals interact. So glad yall could have a conversation !!
I don't know how to socialize anymore. After therapy and meditation, I feel super disconnected from people. Most people want to either socialize at Church/Bar. Both feel empty to me. I feel like I have to pretend to make friends. I'm 32 and all the friends I had in my 20s (bar friends) aren't my "friends" anymore. Idk where or how to meet people. When I randomly meet people too I feel so disconnected. Either attracting people that want/need help and I'm tired of being people's therapists, I want a friend. OR people that care about, what I feel like, are superficial things. So I end up having to be disingenuous/inauthentic. IDK where or how to make friends and it feels like the Simpsons meme of Grandpa. "I used to be cool and part of IT. Now what is cool is weird and scares me. It'll happen to you too"/
I was never encouraged to cry and actually learned it was best not to cry. From school experiences as well as at home. I can go to the funeral of someone I love dearly and not shed a tear. And it's not a good thing.
feelin sad for someone is okey but to cry means you value something too much so it is a natural result of that it is kinda normal if its your parents too but is it supposed to be encouraged ? i can grayp you tf out if you want to cry that much and you decide if its good thing , if its good then i wouldve committed a virtue by doint this :D
It would be really cool to have the completely out-of-balance streamers chat with these 2 gents for like an hour or so about their perspective and issues. great and productive conversation
Holy shit... I finally understand why I have so much trouble finding motivation. I am 33 now, but when I was 23, I decided to move out from my parents house. The reason? Because I felt like every aspect of my life had been decided for me and for once, I wanted some control, some say, as to what to do. Simplest things like what to wear, what to eat, what to watch, what to play, who to talk to, how to decorate my room, how to cut/ style my hair, what to believe in, how to spend my free time, and as I got older, where to work, and what college to go to, had to be decided by my parents. I felt like my life was being lived for me, and so I packed my shit one day, and left. It was a shock to them ofcourse, because they had no clue I was gonna leave everything they had provided for me, and just figure shit out on my own. They were sad and angry, but they still told me that I was welcome to return if I ever needed to. But I refused. 10 years later, I still have the same job, I work from home, as a leather carver for this boot company. I droped out of college 2 years after I left my parents, and as much as Id like to go back, I struggle so much deciding what to go back for. I live alone, and I usually stay home just carving leather, really only have 1 friend, I have 2 youger brothers that I love so much, and have a girlfriend, that has to put up with me being so antisocial and reclusive, because I really like being alone here in my apartment. But even having their support, I find it very difficult to stay in task, often falling behind with work, and always finding ways to distract myself here. Lately, Ive been really wanting to do more, stepping up my game, from solely carving on leather, to creating my own business, and perhaps make my own leather products. Im also really interested on nutrition, and the way it affects the mind, and lately been looking into the investment world, long term/ day trading and the sorts. But I just dont have the motivation, I dont know where I should start, sometimes I feel like theres a lot of things I want to do, but I become overwhelemed about where to begin, which one i should focus on, and as a 33 year old, I feel like my time is running out. Also, I hate people offering me help whether its monetary, offfering me a job, or telling me I should do this and that, mainly because my whole younger life, I was told what to do. I feel like I need to figure things out on my own, and so, It feels like Im trapped, because I know that if I let people help me, my life could probably improve, but I just dont want to. I have to be capable of figuring things out on my own, or else I feel like Im failing myself and that means that I will always need someone to tell me how to live, and to me, thats fucking pathetic.
1:48:15 Exactly. People have the outcomes of these service (friends on discord, convenience of food delivery apps, etc.) and are still miserable, which should be a testament to these so called “conveniences” being anything but. It all comes down to money and greed though lol.
I’m only a couple minutes in but since May is mental health awareness month I wanted to bring attention to the upcoming World Narcissistic Abuse Day. It’s a global event that takes place annually on June 1. Could you maybe offer your time to address this complex subject, please?
In regards to the comments about political beliefs being less subject to change within parties around the 58:00 ish mark. I think individual people can change beliefs more nimbly, groups of people (especially ones established around believing particular things) almost never can without huge amounts of coordinated effort.
It’s called the limbic system. We identify with our worldviews because our worldviews inform what we viscerally believe to be an accurate map of reality, as in how to survive, what to do and what is best, and this shapes our identities, too, it’s all tied together. If someone then questions your worldview, that, by extension, is an attack on your identity and your boundaries in terms of what you believe on a gut level is what you need to do to survive, so it feels like the equivalent of literally being attacked, like by a wild animal, switching on the sympathetic nervous system and going into fight or flight mode. It’s also called cognitive dissonance. Because of our modern ideologies, informed by ideas that are detached from real survival, real perspective, we develop these ill fitting identities. There are tons of other factors involved, of course, but that’s the geist of it.
I also did sense a tinge of pretentiousness or mainly just DrK KNOWING everything and destiny having to be educated as he is on a lower level of understanding. I wonder if destiny knew this would be the context when he came on. Also I do find it a certain divine retribution because this is generally the dynamic between destiny and his guests.
2:14:35 not asian american, but this is literally why i stopped going to therapy, i made up some bs excuse because to me it was insanely expensive even if it did help me.
1:16:50 I just KNEW the moment Dr K would acknowledge a bias against men in psychology he needed to cover himself with things like "in a sense....not toward women" or "I don't wanna get into gender dynamics". It's a rule for Dr K: You can acknowledge biases against women confidently all day long but never against men without 1000 appeasing words. Without fail, every time
He gotta talk fast to explain "simple" claims that debate opponents often give that actually lacks important details after all lol, especially when the opponent like to battle with just being tribalistic & loud
It's partly why I actually enjoy listening to Destiny. Especially during debates. So many people are so long winded and take forever to make a point. But Tiny here speaks quickly and concisely when making his points. Its so refreshing.
It's not that "Men" don't see anger as an emotion, but that emotional is typically used for, well, multiple emotions. When a woman is simply angry all the time, she too is said to have "anger issues". But the emotional angle is used when someone frequently shows a scope of different emotion. If anything, the reason you only hear about men having issues with anger is because that's the ... "society-approved" emotion. But for men who also show a spectrum of emotion, they too are said to be emotional. Source, a guy who's been called emotional many times, both as praise and insult.
Why do I wanna quit cannabis? The reasons are twofold: 1 - because I want to be able to pass a drug test and 2 - because I'd rather spend the money I spent on weed on Warframe instead.
You very well might address this farther into the convo, but your point to destiny about adhd people treating certain limitations as TRUTHS being a learned behavior based on external evidence is precisely relevant when you replace behavioral ‘disorders’ with race or class or sex. I think it’s great you add that sort of experiential weight to his very theoretical/abstract position. That’s the type of thing destiny/debate bros in general deemphasize in their arguments, mostly with left leaning marginalized individuals.
Its kinda funny how all of the "positive community" messaging goes down the toilet once some of the people in this community see someone that disagrees with them politically.
Don't trust comments. People who are extremists tend to be overrepresented in comments to post negative things when they see a political opponent because they want you to hate them. It's purely manipulation and you're dumb if you fall for it.
@@reiggier9211 Id consider it emotion in the same way « love » or « infatuation » is an emotion. Lust is a feeling, and it can influence your behavior. Yeah it’s rooted in sexual attraction, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t an emotion. I think in many ways your question echoes OP’s point. Love and heartbreak have been branded archetypically feminine so are more clearly seen as emotions. Lust is more archetypically masculine, so is viewed less as an emotion.
@@greatgyatso5429 I don't think so yeah that doesn't seem right to me. I don't know how to argue it but it doesn't express itself to me in my consciousness as an emotion it just seems like being horny.
@@reiggier9211 Well that could be said for any emotion really. Lust is influenced by your situation and influences your behavior and mood. I would classify that as an emotion.
Destiny has a lot of issues and his biggest problem is he sees life as a debate and only listens to himself but at the same time its like he doesn’t see all his obvious flaws. This guy is one of the most knowledge filled individuals who’s actually very unintelligent.
The “8 years of organic learning can be replaced with 6 months of intentional learning” gives me hope after feeling like I've wasted too much time
Same. 5 years of porn addiction has completely ruined my life. Hopefully I can take my life in a better direction 6 months from now.
@@the1stmetalhead How did you end up getting over the addiction?
@@JonathanS344 I haven't completely. I've been trying for 2-3 years. But always end up relapsing and going back to watching the most f'd up stuff. Although figuring out what triggers me and replacing those habit patterns with something positive has helped me. The more I stay outside of the house and the more busy I am engaged in some activities, the less likely I am to resort to porn to seek some sort of pleasure or dopamine. Also understanding that sobriety is not the solution to addiction. It's actually a connection to either your purpose or people around you. Hanging out with groups of people has definitely been the most helpful thing to me. When you stay alone you almost always end up looking for porn. I personally haven't reached out to a therapist because I'm broke. But in the future I hope to and figure out what negative emotion it is that I'm trying to run away from by watching pornography and also like Dr K said meaninglessness is a big cause of p addiction. So having a goal, a job, and a task should definitely help you in beating this toxic habit.
One intentional thing that helped me was not complete abstinence, but rationing. Like, I'd literally set a weekly alarm to jerk off. That way it wasn't gnawing at the back of my mind all day, but was off-loaded to a device. When the time came (lmao) I set a timer to spend no more than 15 minutes. Boom. Productive adult member of society for the rest of the week.
Another un-intentional thing was getting so busy with work, social hobbies, regular workouts, city hiking, friends and eventually gf, so I never had idle time to even think about spanking the monkey. So basically making sure there's someone counting on me to be someplace in person. Leave idle loneliness to stronger willed folks)
It's probably a bit of an exaggeration depending on what it is and your situation, but the general idea is true imo
The fact that Destiny wasn't multitasking by playing a game in the background tells you how invested he was in this discussion but almost certainly its because he was engaging with Dr. K.
he probably was. Cant see his feed just K.
he was gaming watch his eyes
He wasn't gaming on his video of this conversation, and I doubt he would hide himself gaming when he's openly done it for several dozen conversations that he's had with people
@@kayleighohler9999yea and notes, emails, and probably gaming too
It felt like he was taking notes at times + typing shit in chat
It's always nice to see the two of you interact, thank you Dr. K
Stream starts at 9:00
Bless
Ooh look at Mr helpful here I bet you think you're sooooo helpful....
Gesundheit
@@rickymort135 Oh no... Rick and Morty fan detected
15:42 is when I feel it really starts with Destiny showing up
We all can agree Destiny lost this debate
As always
His first mistake was having a woman's name. Amazin'
parasocial LSF vultures
@@SidVirtuous also ok for letting his girl get train wreck. Amazin’
@Dark Sesh the streamer?
Never dated anyone (and was a virgin) until about two years after I graduated college. Six month of intentional learning how to be a good supportive boyfriend and also how sex works definitely easily replaced that “lost” decade of experiences. Speaking from experience, it’s all gonna be ok guys. Sometimes it just takes longer than you’d want
Thats awesome! What did you do/learn during that period of intentional learning?
@@fiat_ow7876 met a friend of a friend and we immediately fell for each other. I wanted to be the best person I could for her so I very intentionally worked on my communication skills and we’ve only gotten stronger as a couple. We’re pretty different so we’ve both learned a LOT about life and relationships from each other. Coming up on two years and they’ve been the best of my life
@@Supaawesomeification dude that’s fucking awesome man. Really sounds like something I need at my point in life right now. I wish you the best
Same! I didn't have my first relationship until 23 and didn't lose my virginity until then either. Now she's my wife, we have a house, I have a good job, and life is good! I was so scared of rejection but as soon as I actually tried I went on multiple dates and pretty quickly found the one I married.
i'm so happy for you guys! its good that all of that waiting paid off! i've wanted to be in a relationship for many years but i was always so scared to talk to girls and even in my mid 20s i still can't do it! lol!
I find that Steven does something very interesting, which is when he and someone else accidentally talk over each other, he would say "go ahead", but also will repeat the last thing that person said. It could just be me, but I don't see it done often, and I find it very considerate and shows how interested you are in the other person's perspective. Really cool
There's actually a conversation technique so to say in Japanese that I think everyone uses there. They often repeat parts of sentences the other person said and I guess they reinforce their attention and all that. I do not know what consequences this has, in what way talking changes but I just think that's quite similar.
It lets the other person know you listened and now are adressing and adding your opinion on what exactly they said, so they can also better understand how what youre saying relates to what theyve said, and what youre trying to get across to them with it. Effective communication skills.
I learned more from this conversation than most media I've consumed over the past year. The information density is fantastic. Thank you for your incredibly insightful commentary. Both you and Destiny.
Genuinely I feel privileged to witness such a discussion. WOW. All I can say is wow.
for sure
nerd
Density and Destiny lmao 😂
these convos are the best dr k content, love the lectures but something hits different about these more casual vids
I really enjoyed the videos from years back where Dr. K talked with Devin Nash about mental health, I think it would be interesting to see another talk as a part of Mental Health May
Was able to tune into half of it and this seemed like a good stream. I agree with Dr. K - I like how Destiny moved conversations and addresses opposing opinions
This will blow your mind - there was a recent meta-analysis that compiled dozens of high quality studies on depression, anxiety, and even schizophrenia, to figure out if there was a common thread underlying them all. After controlling for a host of spurious factors across all the populations, the conclusion for the study found a statistically significant and undeniable proof in the data that Destiny is indeed a girl's name.
MF 🤣
got me bad 😔😔😔
Amazin’
Bruh 😂😂😂
Haters will ask for a peer review.
I mean just... wow. Never have I felt compelled to take out a notebook and write down pieces of advice from media before, but this video is different. It seems as though each topic they speak on has so much value to the average person, so much PRACTICAL information that can be applied in one's life immediately. They are truly incredible people, who have spent so much time learning about life and mental health. I'll be keeping this in my saved videos forever.
What were some of your key takeaways from this video?
My favorite collab. Thanks guys!
I was hoping this would happen again and here we are, i love listening to you too
This has to be one of the most brain stretching conversations I've heard in a while.
Oh, my! Whatever will I do with these sudden surplus of wrinkles on my brain? Tee Hee!
@@YoUtUbEhAnDlEsArEgReAt hide shit in the folds maybe?
@nuaveblack i think that’s just you being unable to differentiate your own opinions from someone of a content creators.
Destiny: “I only wanna take a strong position on something that I feel incredibly grounded in, and for everything else I want to leave myself open to change”
yeah he said that
And is that a bad thing
@@BygoneT no, lol.
@@BilliamTorpedo you’re right
Ok
Destiny is amazing. I found him through dr K. I love
These interviews I cannot enough of them and I don’t Know why.
I have Bipolar depression (recently diagnosed about 2 weeks ago), I’m also diagnosed with MDD (major depressive disorder), anxiety, I also have medication to help me sleep if I’m having trouble. My psychiatrist says I have hallmarks of add/adhd but I haven’t been prescribed with any medication. I’ve known I am hyperactive for years, but I’m scared to ask because I’m not sure I could handle another diagnosis within two months. I have had disorders my whole life and am only now learning to live with it because I’ve just been diagnosed at 38. I hope my family is trying to understand it too but I’m not sure. Thanks for the content Dr K
The last hour is fantastic and really interesting topics I haven't considered
Loved this and other Dr K & Destiny convo's. I really appreciate Destiny's approach.
from my perspective that lack of friction and struggle is because people like me are in a difficult economic situation so we kind of get funneled into very few paths and options. So when you're forced to pick between options that don't work for you, you don't want to put in the extra sacrifice for it time and time again. I want to struggle to get the important things in life, but i'm not even allowed to do that sometimes. People make better decisions when they're in better positions to improve their lives.
I feel like Destiny and Dr K complement eachother so well. They are both similar in the fact that they're clearly very smart introspective guys, but they personalities are complete opposite and that makes for good convo's.
49:09 "as you get older, there really are a lot of things you learn with age"
Of course. I'm reminded of the quote from Muhammed Ali, who was quite radical in his youth and then became much more mild and temperate as he got older: "If a man is the same man at age 50 as he was at age 20, he's just wasted 30 years of his life."
Nobody should want to stay the same as they get older. It just means you haven't grown at all, and if you aren't growing, what's the point of being alive?
Why do you think growing is the point of being alive?
Great content Dr. K. I’m new to your channel and your conversation with Destiny was very interesting and insightful. Big W to the moderation in the live chat for temporarily banning some of the worst chatters I ever seen in a long time. This is supposed to be a positive and safe space for intelligent discourse.
It is, but also a place where people with poor mental health may gather.
@@WanderTheNomad You are probably right, the personal attacks were so nasty. Disgusting.
@@Chris-il5im you should probably look into destinys history more if you think that the chatters were disgusting
@@rentaltoast2201 Two wrongs don't make a right
@@meltygear5955 okay? destiny is still gross himself that fact remains
I love how they wanted to wrap up and kept talking for over half an hour xD
great conversation! Thanks
From age 11 I went from my grandmother's to my mother's. And at my mother's I learned how to get away with literally everything. My poor mom was an alcoholic so no boundaries.. Today at 61 I'm still like that. Aimless. I've spent a lot of time focusing on changing that, then got diagnosed w adhd.. Like three months ago😂 listening to Dr k has really helped me more than all the therapists I've ever seen and still see. Light at the end of the tunnel.😂 I've spent my whole life getting away with it all..or so I wrongly thought. Now the price is high because I've not worked towards the age I am now. No savings. No security. Instant gratification with everything but that's a hell of a lot harder than setting a goal and actually working towards it.
jesus i was looking forward to this one but its a long ass video :D thanks for both of your time and effort and that we can watch these videos for free! :)
I pressed play on this video and completely forgot it was running while I did my work. the “chat” at 9 minutes scared the absolute crap outta me
What an awesome conversation. Loved this whole thing.
Damn this was fire from start to finish I'm not even joking, 3 hours of complete engagement holy hell
Ah, mature conversation is so refreshing
There are a lot of great topics covered in this conversation. I'll have to remember to come back to this video from time-to-time to review and re-digest the discussion. 🌞
I love talks like these because I used to think Destiny and I were very different on our view points, the more I watch or listen to people I used to disagree with and not understand the more I learn we are not so different afterall. Life should not be an echo chamber and we all have something to learn from somebody. People are multi-faceted, no one person can be right or wrong, its important we take all the bits from each other and learn.
Dr K is gonna show up on Chris Williamson's podcast soon? That's so hype
This was such a fantastic philosophical discussion
Always fun to see these two talk.
Adults with memory loss are twice as more likely to kill themselves than their counterparts. This is how we lost our beautiful Robin Williams. Working in an Alzheimer's home, I can attest, they want to die. And its heartbreaking.
this was such a great conversation. so much information and ideas
Dr K is the best therapist in the universe he really gets me
Destiny has really matured since I was watching him back in 2016
Leaving the far left will do that to you. Oh, and age as well :)
@@TheAbsoluteSir he was never far left, please understand what you're talking about first before using those terms
@@MidnightEkakityty
How so?
1:05:00 this is interesting because the only reason I engage in discussion the vast majority of the time is to learn what I might be missing. The conversation may sound like a debate, but I’m actually most of the time merely trying to figure out how two rational intelligent people could possibly come to two different conclusions if given the same set of facts. For me, it’s never about winning or losing. I don’t remember a single time I’ve ever thought about trying to win in a conversation or debate. It’s also probably why although I sound very obstinate in my beliefs, people are often surprised at how quickly I change them when presented with new information.
Can't express how much I love this crossover. I'm not even a hard fan of neither of them
Loving this content! One of the best conversations
That was a very interesting conversation. These collabs with streamers are always great content
One Love!
Always forward, never ever backward!!
☀️☀️☀️
💚💛❤️
🙏🏿🙏🙏🏼
Just saying I've been wanting this again for so long. I follow Destiny and Dr K and love seeijg these two humble intellectuals interact. So glad yall could have a conversation !!
I don't know how to socialize anymore.
After therapy and meditation, I feel super disconnected from people. Most people want to either socialize at Church/Bar. Both feel empty to me. I feel like I have to pretend to make friends. I'm 32 and all the friends I had in my 20s (bar friends) aren't my "friends" anymore. Idk where or how to meet people. When I randomly meet people too I feel so disconnected. Either attracting people that want/need help and I'm tired of being people's therapists, I want a friend. OR people that care about, what I feel like, are superficial things. So I end up having to be disingenuous/inauthentic. IDK where or how to make friends and it feels like the Simpsons meme of Grandpa. "I used to be cool and part of IT. Now what is cool is weird and scares me. It'll happen to you too"/
Thanks!
I was never encouraged to cry and actually learned it was best not to cry. From school experiences as well as at home. I can go to the funeral of someone I love dearly and not shed a tear. And it's not a good thing.
feelin sad for someone is okey but to cry means you value something too much so it is a natural result of that it is kinda normal if its your parents too but is it supposed to be encouraged ? i can grayp you tf out if you want to cry that much and you decide if its good thing , if its good then i wouldve committed a virtue by doint this :D
It would be really cool to have the completely out-of-balance streamers chat with these 2 gents for like an hour or so about their perspective and issues.
great and productive conversation
Destiny at 15:37
Holy shit... I finally understand why I have so much trouble finding motivation. I am 33 now, but when I was 23, I decided to move out from my parents house. The reason? Because I felt like every aspect of my life had been decided for me and for once, I wanted some control, some say, as to what to do. Simplest things like what to wear, what to eat, what to watch, what to play, who to talk to, how to decorate my room, how to cut/ style my hair, what to believe in, how to spend my free time, and as I got older, where to work, and what college to go to, had to be decided by my parents. I felt like my life was being lived for me, and so I packed my shit one day, and left. It was a shock to them ofcourse, because they had no clue I was gonna leave everything they had provided for me, and just figure shit out on my own. They were sad and angry, but they still told me that I was welcome to return if I ever needed to. But I refused.
10 years later, I still have the same job, I work from home, as a leather carver for this boot company. I droped out of college 2 years after I left my parents, and as much as Id like to go back, I struggle so much deciding what to go back for.
I live alone, and I usually stay home just carving leather, really only have 1 friend, I have 2 youger brothers that I love so much, and have a girlfriend, that has to put up with me being so antisocial and reclusive, because I really like being alone here in my apartment. But even having their support, I find it very difficult to stay in task, often falling behind with work, and always finding ways to distract myself here.
Lately, Ive been really wanting to do more, stepping up my game, from solely carving on leather, to creating my own business, and perhaps make my own leather products. Im also really interested on nutrition, and the way it affects the mind, and lately been looking into the investment world, long term/ day trading and the sorts. But I just dont have the motivation, I dont know where I should start, sometimes I feel like theres a lot of things I want to do, but I become overwhelemed about where to begin, which one i should focus on, and as a 33 year old, I feel like my time is running out.
Also, I hate people offering me help whether its monetary, offfering me a job, or telling me I should do this and that, mainly because my whole younger life, I was told what to do. I feel like I need to figure things out on my own, and so, It feels like Im trapped, because I know that if I let people help me, my life could probably improve, but I just dont want to. I have to be capable of figuring things out on my own, or else I feel like Im failing myself and that means that I will always need someone to tell me how to live, and to me, thats fucking pathetic.
1:48:15 Exactly. People have the outcomes of these service (friends on discord, convenience of food delivery apps, etc.) and are still miserable, which should be a testament to these so called “conveniences” being anything but. It all comes down to money and greed though lol.
Ive missed the interviews! Keep em coming
3 HOUR TALK LETSGOOOOOO! :D love this
I’m only a couple minutes in but since May is mental health awareness month I wanted to bring attention to the upcoming World Narcissistic Abuse Day. It’s a global event that takes place annually on June 1. Could you maybe offer your time to address this complex subject, please?
Seconded. Thanks, Douglas
👍😎
uffff looking forward that trauma deep dive, thanx!!
In regards to the comments about political beliefs being less subject to change within parties around the 58:00 ish mark. I think individual people can change beliefs more nimbly, groups of people (especially ones established around believing particular things) almost never can without huge amounts of coordinated effort.
It’s called the limbic system. We identify with our worldviews because our worldviews inform what we viscerally believe to be an accurate map of reality, as in how to survive, what to do and what is best, and this shapes our identities, too, it’s all tied together. If someone then questions your worldview, that, by extension, is an attack on your identity and your boundaries in terms of what you believe on a gut level is what you need to do to survive, so it feels like the equivalent of literally being attacked, like by a wild animal, switching on the sympathetic nervous system and going into fight or flight mode. It’s also called cognitive dissonance. Because of our modern ideologies, informed by ideas that are detached from real survival, real perspective, we develop these ill fitting identities. There are tons of other factors involved, of course, but that’s the geist of it.
I love these kinds of videos. So educational.
Very useful discussion, thank you for this !
I WATCHED 3 Hours of this podcast and don't regret 😂
It’s been a while since I needed this video
44:46-48:43 passive vs active motivation
Anazing 3 hours - thank you!
Great vid! Here for Dr K, but interesting guest
why is this guy so argumentative. like he just wants to fight everyone!
when
Need a podcast for this, STAT!
I always enjoy y'all's discussions :)
learned ALOt from this one, very valuable. thank you.
this is the best drK content
Love hearing you 2 chat it up, need Dr. K to guest appear on the red pill platforms that Destiny has been doing!
Need more of these convos with Destiny
I love how they gave up on the timestamps on moving through time
I didn't know this was going to be 3 hours of DrK psychologizing Destiny and disproving every single one of his preconceived notions.
I also did sense a tinge of pretentiousness or mainly just DrK KNOWING everything and destiny having to be educated as he is on a lower level of understanding. I wonder if destiny knew this would be the context when he came on. Also I do find it a certain divine retribution because this is generally the dynamic between destiny and his guests.
2:14:35 not asian american, but this is literally why i stopped going to therapy, i made up some bs excuse because to me it was insanely expensive even if it did help me.
I can't stop thinking about Walt busting into Jesse's van, going "why are you BLUE???"
OMG DOC HAD NOT HEARD OF THE OVERTON WINDOW!!!!!! I've heard it used SO much in the last 5-10 years, my god, where has be been???
Not involved with politics I guess
You ok?
Doc is not much into politics
I was shocked Dr. K didn't know about it.
It was a first time for me as well.
I would never have put it together that my teenage romanticized idea of “live for today” was a product of my circumstances. Thanks for the insight.
2:31:46 The exact moment Dr.K thought of the greatest roast of all time
1:16:50 I just KNEW the moment Dr K would acknowledge a bias against men in psychology he needed to cover himself with things like "in a sense....not toward women" or "I don't wanna get into gender dynamics". It's a rule for Dr K: You can acknowledge biases against women confidently all day long but never against men without 1000 appeasing words. Without fail, every time
It seems like a bias on your end too. Iirc, he used the same quotes when talking about men and rejection
I have been waiting so long for this to happen
Happened before.
Had to check to make sure I didn't have playback speed sped up at some points when blue hair was talking
Destiny's talking so fast I keep checking my playback speed!
same HAHAH
Yeah, I keep forgetting to drop it from 2.0x to 1.75x when Destiny's on stream.
He gotta talk fast to explain "simple" claims that debate opponents often give that actually lacks important details after all lol, especially when the opponent like to battle with just being tribalistic & loud
It's partly why I actually enjoy listening to Destiny. Especially during debates. So many people are so long winded and take forever to make a point. But Tiny here speaks quickly and concisely when making his points. Its so refreshing.
For the first time, I didn't have to manually increase the speed
It's not that "Men" don't see anger as an emotion, but that emotional is typically used for, well, multiple emotions. When a woman is simply angry all the time, she too is said to have "anger issues". But the emotional angle is used when someone frequently shows a scope of different emotion.
If anything, the reason you only hear about men having issues with anger is because that's the ... "society-approved" emotion. But for men who also show a spectrum of emotion, they too are said to be emotional.
Source, a guy who's been called emotional many times, both as praise and insult.
Why do I wanna quit cannabis? The reasons are twofold:
1 - because I want to be able to pass a drug test and
2 - because I'd rather spend the money I spent on weed on Warframe instead.
Baaaased
How's the new update?
@@banqsterz8160 Pretty fun, I gotta say
yeah but then u cant play Warframe while high so what's the point?
@@newuser689 you can still play high on caffeine.
If I started to do everything I don't want to do, I would be in the exact same place I'm in right now.
2 large screens. nice and balanced and easy to look at. easy to see the faces...
Thank you for doing what you do
You very well might address this farther into the convo, but your point to destiny about adhd people treating certain limitations as TRUTHS being a learned behavior based on external evidence is precisely relevant when you replace behavioral ‘disorders’ with race or class or sex. I think it’s great you add that sort of experiential weight to his very theoretical/abstract position. That’s the type of thing destiny/debate bros in general deemphasize in their arguments, mostly with left leaning marginalized individuals.
And for the record I generally agree with him “in theory” on that point as well. I’m not just a hater over here
Love it. Thank you for being nice to destiny, he really needed it it seems based on his past streams, but you knew that. Peace and love.
One thing he didn't mention is most phones by default filter pictures, I had to turn it off on my pixel. Auto smooths and other stuff.
I found it too on my Xiaomi. Felt really wrong.
Its kinda funny how all of the "positive community" messaging goes down the toilet once some of the people in this community see someone that disagrees with them politically.
And it’s not even that big of a difference. Narcissism of small differences, I guess.
It’s really disappointing
Don't trust comments. People who are extremists tend to be overrepresented in comments to post negative things when they see a political opponent because they want you to hate them. It's purely manipulation and you're dumb if you fall for it.
lol yea was looking at youtube chat and its just weird accusation flying everywhere
Empathy for me and not for thee
I think the whole “emotionality is for women” only sells because anger and lust have somehow been re-branded as “not emotions”
Is lust an emotion? I think lust is just sexual desire right?
@@reiggier9211 Id consider it emotion in the same way « love » or « infatuation » is an emotion. Lust is a feeling, and it can influence your behavior. Yeah it’s rooted in sexual attraction, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t an emotion.
I think in many ways your question echoes OP’s point. Love and heartbreak have been branded archetypically feminine so are more clearly seen as emotions. Lust is more archetypically masculine, so is viewed less as an emotion.
@@reiggier9211 Horniness is definitely an emotion
@@greatgyatso5429 I don't think so yeah that doesn't seem right to me. I don't know how to argue it but it doesn't express itself to me in my consciousness as an emotion it just seems like being horny.
@@reiggier9211 Well that could be said for any emotion really. Lust is influenced by your situation and influences your behavior and mood. I would classify that as an emotion.
Dr K looks so good for 40
I ❤ RUclips for videos like this
I unfortunately don’t have 3 hours to watch all of this. are there some moments people can clue me into to get a grasp of important stuff?
Interesting thing about range of acceptable mistakes at 25 - 35
Just put it on while you do something else. It works great as a talk show while working
Kind of sad they didnt get to talk about the mental impact of living as a man with a girls name.
You get to be a millionaire and have a hot gf
is dr K partnered with youtube now? i've seen a lot of his recent streams be on youtube
When it comes to this, Destiny is banned from Twitch so the interview has to be done here
He wanted to reach a broader audience by using both twitch and RUclips streams
Twitch recently dropped their exclusivity clauses so pretty much everyone started streaming to multiple platforms (mostly RUclips)
Destiny has a lot of issues and his biggest problem is he sees life as a debate and only listens to himself but at the same time its like he doesn’t see all his obvious flaws. This guy is one of the most knowledge filled individuals who’s actually very unintelligent.