Hey, K. I came across your videos and I hope you are doing ok. I know you are going through a lot. I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer in the beginning of 2022, and I had to go through chemo and all that. I am 41 now. There are a lot of mis conceptions when it comes to cancer and treatments, especially among the younger, middle-aged crowd. So, it’s really good that you are sharing your story. Continue to do so, and keep shining bright.
is it a rejection if you don't initiate anything? i think, as someone who's introspective, we tend to pose too many questions or scenarios prior to approaching someone, and because we cycle through these things over and over again, we make simple things more complicate. we make the act of approaching someone more complicated, and we make the outcome, whatever it may be, more complicated. you ask a woman out. she'll either accept, or she'll decline. it's as simple as that. when we are solidily comfortable with that fact, approaching those we are interested in becomes second nature. when that becomes second nature, it's like something clicks in your mind, and you start to become aware of more approachable individuals, and your romantic possibilities expand. it's sort of like how more things seem enticing, whether they be different activities or food or music, when we're in a positive mindset. when our view on romantic pursuit is more relaxed and positive, a lot more attractive ppl seem to pop up out of nowhere. it's a little strange, but it's something i've observed.
It took me 3 relationships to learn that you can't make someone like or love you, no matter how strongly you care about them. And you know what, that's okay. It's not your fault and it dosen't make either of you a bad person.
There's actually dating coaches that teach you how to approach and talk to girls. I used to be terrible at it but with a lot of work and coaching I'm at a point where I get dates regularly with attractive girls. Maybe that's something you could look into.
It’s okay man, you’re a good looking guy and you have a pretty fair chance with anyone you want. Maybe she just wasn’t the one! But for next time just go up to her and ask her things you notice about her, just like hobbies, interests, favorite places to go to and maybe you can find some common interests to bond over. Take it slow, be her friend before you make your move. Someone she can trust and talk to casually and can slowly start to see a future with! YOU GOT THIS FAM
No matter what Girl you meet ,see or talk to there will Always be a Past Guy Current Guy or Third Wheel. Its an absolute guarantee . So dont even let it effect you. The whole negative thing youre going through. Its not worth it. Theyre all the same dude., And they dont even know it. You have to be conscious of that fact. In 10 years she wont even look the same.
Have you thought that your inhibitory nature might be harming you both physically and mentally? You harbor resentiment when others continue to get the better of you, are more successful, or are able to get what you cannot. Resentment literally means to think over and over again. The various biological processes in a state of strong emotions can lead to profound effects. These effects are only now beginning to be studied and explored. I hate Seligman, but Learned Helplessness is a great example. Norepinephrine levels decrease when animal subjects feel they are unable to escape a consequence. So when you are challenged, your first impulse seems to be to just lie down and take it instead of asserting yourself. I think that by learning how to assert yourself more in various situations you will feel happier and thrive. It will likely give you the motivation and spirit necessary to fight against the devastating side effects of cancer treatment.
Personally I dont maintain friendships with women. Theres no point unless I intend to pursue a romantic relationship, otherwise the friendzone is just a waste of resources. Unless you're terribly lonely, don't bother with females who are not interested in you right away. The nice guy routine may conflict with your religious beliefs but in the end, true attraction cannot be forced no matter how much simping you've already done. Another thing to consider is the company you keep - might want to make new friends or go off on your own to work on yourself and gain some new perspective on things.
Honestly I feel like this is getting sad. You uploaded a video saying how 'you don't feel your age' but really? You're almost 40 but are discussing issues that 18-20 year olds have. It's really time you that you get your stuff together instead of feeling envious over your good looking room mate who gets girls you aren't in high school anymore. You want to find a partner but let's be honest there's a social stigma with even 25 year olds living at their parents house let along someone nearly entering 40.... All the best Kenji hope you get better as well.
I think the same thing. Guys are usually bro-bro but when a lady is involved, a lot of us bro-bros just flip the switch to impress and only solely the girl. But at the same time, if the roommate is intentionally having this person over w.o asking Kenji if they can all hang out: 1. Lack of to social skills 2. Outright being narc getting off on an ego boost. Simple. I see dudes do this too much, but when I'm not on the same spectrum I'm always asked if I'm part of the rainbow flag 😭😭😭😭😭 no, I just am open when I consider my people and situation. It becomes a better skill over time one realizes when they reflect on the situation with quick decisions but also choosing best decisions when in a situation.
I would rather make the move and get curved than just sit around wondering. I feel you on that. I mean it feels like that's what women want anyway. If you don't make a move or take too long they lose interest regardless
There is no harm in asking any one out, a rejection is just as simple as that, you never know an outcome until decides how to approach it, letting it brew will fester and become negative emotions especially during the hormonal stages of life. I was very socially awkward and lacking in social queues at that age, it was only years later they would say I/we were hitting on you but you were such a dumbass and didn’t reciprocate. Had many near death experiences during my military service, being Asian and only child the whole family was very concerned that I would be the last male descendant, and it would die with me, didn’t have trouble asking girls out but finding the right one for marriage is the hard part. My teen son recently asked me do I ever regret the choices I made in life, I said no, when you are born you are but a clear sheet of paper each encounters you experience wether good or bad adds a little bit more colour to it and it makes who you are, and I’ve lived a more fulfilling life than almost everyone by the time I turned 30, seen death a few too many time(i was bleeding out and hallucinating, saw my favourite dead relatives and it was comforting them saying it’s no my time yet), live life to the fullest each day and always plan for the future, having a plan is what motivates you to get up each day
Hi Kenji, I’m the girl in your story from college. Remember that one time you got drunk and flashed me? Creep. Tell your viewers the truth. Haha just joking glad to see you’re doing better brother shit happens.
It's kind of shocking hearing your struggles with women, given that you are a very handsome guy in a time when tons of western girls are interested in Asian guys thanks to k dramas/k pop. Like literally every day I see Asian guys less handsome than you walking around with beautiful girlfriends. I wish you best of luck in the future man. You are very handsome.
He's short + not a young adult anymore. Tbh if he was 6 ft at 20 years old and styled his hair + glasses the same way he does now, he probably would’ve gotten women. Hell even being 5 10 (average height) wouldve gotten him something at least.
"you are a very handsome guy" lol. the only opinion about his looks that matter r from the lens of the average girl. guys can't really rate each other unless its extremely obvious(extremely handsome/ugly)
Hey, K. I came across your videos and I hope you are doing ok. I know you are going through a lot. I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer in the beginning of 2022, and I had to go through chemo and all that. I am 41 now. There are a lot of mis conceptions when it comes to cancer and treatments, especially among the younger, middle-aged crowd. So, it’s really good that you are sharing your story. Continue to do so, and keep shining bright.
I noticed a hugh flow of channels like yours popping up. Ppl are talking the raw deep emotions everyone keeps hidden. I respect the realness
is it a rejection if you don't initiate anything? i think, as someone who's introspective, we tend to pose too many questions or scenarios prior to approaching someone, and because we cycle through these things over and over again, we make simple things more complicate. we make the act of approaching someone more complicated, and we make the outcome, whatever it may be, more complicated. you ask a woman out. she'll either accept, or she'll decline. it's as simple as that. when we are solidily comfortable with that fact, approaching those we are interested in becomes second nature. when that becomes second nature, it's like something clicks in your mind, and you start to become aware of more approachable individuals, and your romantic possibilities expand. it's sort of like how more things seem enticing, whether they be different activities or food or music, when we're in a positive mindset. when our view on romantic pursuit is more relaxed and positive, a lot more attractive ppl seem to pop up out of nowhere. it's a little strange, but it's something i've observed.
It took me 3 relationships to learn that you can't make someone like or love you, no matter how strongly you care about them. And you know what, that's okay. It's not your fault and it dosen't make either of you a bad person.
It sucks because I means you would suffer more time dealing with a lack of intimacy which is painful
Thank you for continuing to upload these stories despite the negative comments.
What negative comments
YESSS KENJI THIS IS PEAK CONTENT
There's actually dating coaches that teach you how to approach and talk to girls. I used to be terrible at it but with a lot of work and coaching I'm at a point where I get dates regularly with attractive girls. Maybe that's something you could look into.
U have good reflections and insights on ur feelings. I think a lot of people have gone thru similar experiences. Thanks for sharing.
You have a beautiful soul. I wish you had more confidence in yourself. 💚
It’s okay man, you’re a good looking guy and you have a pretty fair chance with anyone you want.
Maybe she just wasn’t the one!
But for next time just go up to her and ask her things you notice about her, just like hobbies, interests, favorite places to go to and maybe you can find some common interests to bond over.
Take it slow, be her friend before you make your move. Someone she can trust and talk to casually and can slowly start to see a future with!
YOU GOT THIS FAM
Dont sweat it bro, let her miss out on you
Glad to see you are doing well. Keep it up unc
That's how it goes, the universe directly punishing you for any ounce of hope you could have.
No matter what Girl you meet ,see or talk to there will Always be a Past Guy Current Guy or Third Wheel. Its an absolute guarantee . So dont even let it effect you. The whole negative thing youre going through. Its not worth it. Theyre all the same dude., And they dont even know it. You have to be conscious of that fact. In 10 years she wont even look the same.
Let them be. Laugh when it falls apart. Don’t forget to brink snacks, preferably popcorn of some kind.
Based
You are a great story teller, always fun and I always leave learning something from it ❤
This is exactly my experience and how I feel about it. I think it’s a healthy take.
That's why I like Luther Vandross's song "Can I Take You Out Tonight"
Have you thought that your inhibitory nature might be harming you both physically and mentally?
You harbor resentiment when others continue to get the better of you, are more successful, or are able to get what you cannot. Resentment literally means to think over and over again. The various biological processes in a state of strong emotions can lead to profound effects. These effects are only now beginning to be studied and explored.
I hate Seligman, but Learned Helplessness is a great example. Norepinephrine levels decrease when animal subjects feel they are unable to escape a consequence. So when you are challenged, your first impulse seems to be to just lie down and take it instead of asserting yourself.
I think that by learning how to assert yourself more in various situations you will feel happier and thrive. It will likely give you the motivation and spirit necessary to fight against the devastating side effects of cancer treatment.
ur too cute, don't let this situation dictate ur life. ( =
You’re not ugly, your chasing the wrong women that’s all.
Personally I dont maintain friendships with women. Theres no point unless I intend to pursue a romantic relationship, otherwise the friendzone is just a waste of resources. Unless you're terribly lonely, don't bother with females who are not interested in you right away. The nice guy routine may conflict with your religious beliefs but in the end, true attraction cannot be forced no matter how much simping you've already done.
Another thing to consider is the company you keep - might want to make new friends or go off on your own to work on yourself and gain some new perspective on things.
Hopefully you're doing good in your chemotherapy kenji. ❤
Thank you for sharing
Honestly I feel like this is getting sad.
You uploaded a video saying how 'you don't feel your age' but really? You're almost 40 but are discussing issues that 18-20 year olds have. It's really time you that you get your stuff together instead of feeling envious over your good looking room mate who gets girls you aren't in high school anymore. You want to find a partner but let's be honest there's a social stigma with even 25 year olds living at their parents house let along someone nearly entering 40....
All the best Kenji hope you get better as well.
Bro do you think your roommate liked being around you and was ok introducing you to girls because he knew that you wouldn't take them away from him?
I think the same thing. Guys are usually bro-bro but when a lady is involved, a lot of us bro-bros just flip the switch to impress and only solely the girl. But at the same time, if the roommate is intentionally having this person over w.o asking Kenji if they can all hang out:
1. Lack of to social skills
2. Outright being narc getting off on an ego boost.
Simple. I see dudes do this too much, but when I'm not on the same spectrum I'm always asked if I'm part of the rainbow flag 😭😭😭😭😭 no, I just am open when I consider my people and situation. It becomes a better skill over time one realizes when they reflect on the situation with quick decisions but also choosing best decisions when in a situation.
@@trxxblx-wxs-hxrx brotherhood is gone onces an average girl wents into the room boyos
Nah, I think his roommate was just so good looking the girls were popping up like flies around him.
@@SH-to8shbrotherhood doesn’t exists in real life among male to male friendships when there’s a female involves its not an anime
@@SH-to8shbut i get your point kenji’s room mate is a chad
I would rather make the move and get curved than just sit around wondering. I feel you on that. I mean it feels like that's what women want anyway. If you don't make a move or take too long they lose interest regardless
Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you find your wife. ❤🙏🏼
There is no harm in asking any one out, a rejection is just as simple as that, you never know an outcome until decides how to approach it, letting it brew will fester and become negative emotions especially during the hormonal stages of life.
I was very socially awkward and lacking in social queues at that age, it was only years later they would say I/we were hitting on you but you were such a dumbass and didn’t reciprocate.
Had many near death experiences during my military service, being Asian and only child the whole family was very concerned that I would be the last male descendant, and it would die with me, didn’t have trouble asking girls out but finding the right one for marriage is the hard part.
My teen son recently asked me do I ever regret the choices I made in life, I said no, when you are born you are but a clear sheet of paper each encounters you experience wether good or bad adds a little bit more colour to it and it makes who you are, and I’ve lived a more fulfilling life than almost everyone by the time I turned 30, seen death a few too many time(i was bleeding out and hallucinating, saw my favourite dead relatives and it was comforting them saying it’s no my time yet), live life to the fullest each day and always plan for the future, having a plan is what motivates you to get up each day
Learn from this experience, you need to actually make a move relatively early
Brutal
There's only one way to deal with this Kenji.... MAKE "NTR MANGA AS REVENGE"!!!! Change the names of course ;P
Sounds brutal… sheesh
Hey just a quick question, so you said you had relationships before? Were they only in school and you haven't had one outside of school?
I've had them both in school and outside of school as well
The problem is you don’t respect yourself, she’s not worth chasing man. Work out, meet new people and soon the right women will come. Stay strong!
LA traffic blows lol
Pray ur doin good bro.. remember something.. Jesus is in control.. no need to trip about these unfortunate things, theyre all tests
Have you had earrings this whole time?
yes
I wonder how you do day by day. You seem to have a rough life and I hate seeing this
keep making vidoes man
Kenji to his friend: Oh no, he’s hot! 😭
Rejections happen right and it's brutal right. Keep on trying Kenji right. I can be your right hand man Right. Right great video fellow Right Brother.
She lost a good man. Don’t give up there’s plenty fishes in the sea. Got plenty of time
w
Hi Kenji, I’m the girl in your story from college. Remember that one time you got drunk and flashed me? Creep. Tell your viewers the truth. Haha just joking glad to see you’re doing better brother shit happens.
did you married that kenji roommates?
😂
See, that makes more sense
It's kind of shocking hearing your struggles with women, given that you are a very handsome guy in a time when tons of western girls are interested in Asian guys thanks to k dramas/k pop. Like literally every day I see Asian guys less handsome than you walking around with beautiful girlfriends. I wish you best of luck in the future man. You are very handsome.
He's short + not a young adult anymore. Tbh if he was 6 ft at 20 years old and styled his hair + glasses the same way he does now, he probably would’ve gotten women. Hell even being 5 10 (average height) wouldve gotten him something at least.
Not always true I am asian as well " Indian" to be exact. And there is a wide variety of social reasons why us Asians struggle.
@@internet_janitor well explained 💯
the only reason these average looking Asian guys have these hot Asian girlfriends is because they’re loaded. It’s as simple as that.
"you are a very handsome guy"
lol. the only opinion about his looks that matter r from the lens of the average girl. guys can't really rate each other unless its extremely obvious(extremely handsome/ugly)
This getting sad 😂😂😂
@@hanifdachoosen1286 You spelled "chosen" wrong.
lol idiot
Here we go again, more crying about his better looking roommate 😂😂😂😂😂😂bro you 40 this is getting sad
@hanifdachoosen1286 this is something that continue to follow us all throughout life
@ follow you lil bro not ne at all 😂😂
Are you the roommate lol your comments are so weird and creepy like a stalker 😬
Then why are you still here?
@@sweetness583 to act like youtube didn't recommend him this video for a reason lmao
Cope
What is? He expressed his feelings about a situation. How is that a cope?
@sweetness583 he just said he has been Coping. What's with the nit pick?