Xij mas thaub !! Tiam tshiab no yuav tau ua siab loj thiab !! Txhob coj li tej laus 75 ma !!!! Nej twb xav kom yuav hmoob thiab ne !! Cov tsis muaj poj niam tsis yuav ho yuav lawv tus txiv los that is okay !!! Yog niam tsev tod zoo dua nej tus muam nws yeej tsis yuav nej tus muam na !!! Time to change and forgive !!!!
Brother, it is what it is. There is nothing you can do to change your sister’s behavior. Hais tsis tau lawm nyias ua nyias ris xwb txhob muab koj tus sister tej teeb meem los ua kev nyiab siab. Koj tus yawm yij thiab koj tus muam ntawd ces sib phim nkaus xwb. Yog koj tus yawm yij yog ib tug txiv tsim txiaj tsheej haj ces yeej tsis yuav koj tus muam ua niam yau. Txiv dev thiab maum dev xwb. Qhov no tsis tim koj tus muam 100%. Just because someone has a college degree doesn’t mean they’re smart.
Ua niam yau is not a bad idea for her! Lol. Tsuav nws ho zas plaub hau dub es nyoo los ua niam yau los yuav hmoob lawm mas. What’s wrong with that? That’s better than Mus yuav dub yuav mev yuav dawb mas hehe
Phem tsis cuag peb cov muam dev os! Xam hais tias nws tus hluas nraug Mekas tseem pab nws kawm tiav 4 year degree tau hauj lwm zoo ua, thiab niag Mekas tsis tau los nrog nej nyob ua nej nyab naw. Peb cov muam maum dev mas, tham cov hluas nraug Hmoob uas lawv niam lawv txiv kiag tos twb yuav tsis taus lawv lawm los vim lawv xuaj dhau lawm, ces cov hluas nraug ntawv los ua nkauj nyab thawj peb xwb hos. Siv yus, noj yus, kaus yus, tiam sis mas tsis ua Nraug nyab kom zoo thiab os, cav muaj cai cem yus thiab hos.
Kav liam mas nws twb over 18 lawm na tej zaum tim nej thiab nej muab coj nruj zog lawm xwb zoo phem los yog nej tus muam, nws twb tsis tau ua dab tsi phem rau nej na
Brother, tsis tim koj tus muam xwb, koj tus pabthas los tim nws thiab. Ua cas koj yuav txaj muag ua luaj nawb, lawv laus txaus lawm, lawv paub lawv lub neej lawm.😅
Koj tus muam lub private life has nothing to do with you or your brothers. Yog koj muaj lub siab hlub neeg tiag zamtxim pub rau hlub nws li qub. Tiam 21 lawm txob coj li cov OG.
Koj tus yawm yij pabtha ntawd tsuas siv lub meej mom ntawd los tham hluas nkauj xwb. Txawm nws tsis yuav koj tus muam los nws yeej yuav mus yuav lwm tus vim nws tsis yog tus coj noj nws yog tus coj UA xwb.
Brother aw, kavliam mas. Twb tsis npaum ib txhia os. Ib txhia mas deev hluas nraug xyov peb tsawg leej hos twb tsis yog muaj 2 tug menyuam xwb os. Ib txhia tseem muaj 10 tawm tus menyuam es ib tug ib xeem hos. Ib txhia es twb tsis ua haujlwm li thiab mas npav deev hluas nraug kom muaj menyuam es yuav npav noj child support xwb. Tsis li Los tseem tuaj muab tej nyab tej nus cem los cem, foom los foom thiab os
Es ua cas koj lub plhu ho yuav mus rhuav vim koj tus muam? Es cas koj lub ntsej muag ho yuav mus khi rau koj tus muam? Es cas loj lub taub hau ho yuav mus nyob rau koj tus muam tsuj? Es koj txawm tsis muaj ib qho dab tsi zoo dua li yog tias koj tus muas yuav txiv raws koj nyiam li ntag? Yog npaum li ces koj kuj tsis muaj qab ntxhiab dab tsi kiag li, thaub? If you yourself have nothing valuable worthy of life than having that needle size self image that tie to your sister’s life, then what a waste of your life. Nyob nyhav av lawm xwb tiag koj na.
Koj tus muam yuav meskas thawj zaug, ces nws txawj ntxais qau heev. Vim li ntawd koj tus phoojywg pab tha thiaj li qaug rau koj tus muam. ua rau nws tsis nco txuag nws lub ntsej muag li lawm. Koj tus muam tseem tshuav ntau tus txiv uas nws tseem yov yuav tom ntej no. Hnub twg nws dhuav yawm pab tha ntawd lawm ces nws yeej ua ib yam li nws ua rau nws cov hluas nraug yav dhau los ntawd thiab. Yawg pab tha ntawd, txog qhov kawg nws tsis muaj chaw cob cuab. Nws yuav tsis muaj npe noj mov nrog tej neeg tseem ceeb lawm. Yawm pab ntawd nws tsis ntse, nws yog hom ob tog hlw ob tog phle nkaus xwb. Vim li ntawd nws thiaj li tuag rau koj tus muam lub maiv ntxais qau.
Yus hais li yus hais tau xwb. Thaum yus hais tas nws tsis mloog lawm ces yuav tau kav liam thiab. Tabsis qhov Kuv pom nej ua tsis yog lawm mas nej cia li muab nws txiav tawm tsis suav nws ua nej ib tus muam. Xyov yog hmoov dabtsis ntuj thiaj coj nej los ua nug muag. Zam txim rau nws, hlub nws. Nej saib taus nej tus muam ces nej tus yawm yij thiaj li hlub nej tus muam nawb.
Some of these people in the comment section are disconnected from reality. The sister’s behavior is unhealthy even for American/mainstream standards. This applies to men or women. With this kind of philosophy on life, the chances of the children in that dysfunctional household becoming functional healthy individuals of society are slim. The kids don’t stand a chance.
Amen. I was going through the comments to find if someone had made a sensible and based comment first before I did about exactly what you said. You hit it right on the nose. I don't understand those other people. I guess they must not have much standards.
Tus nus koj xav tias tam sim no tsis yog muaj koj tus muam ib leeg thiaj li ua rau nej pab kwv tij poob ntsej muag xwb tag hauv qab ntuj no muaj feem coob yeej zoo ib yam li koj tus muam thiab tus zoo yog luag tus tus liam yog yus tus ces xij nws liam ua rau nej cov kwv tij poob ntsej muag los nws twb tsis nyob tos nej ua rau nws noj hos nws twb muaj hauj lwm zoo nws muaj hauj lwm tau nyiaj txaus nws ywg nws cov me nyuam ces xij ua ib sim nus muag xwb tsis muaj lwm tiam rov ua nus muag dua tsuas yog tiam no xwb kav liam ua siab ntev os mog txhob tu siab thiab yog muaj cov muam sab nrauv ho vam txog nej cov kwv tij los ho hlub lawv kom muaj muam xwb mas mog.
ib tug me muam xwb tsis txhob chim thiab cem cem nw nawb mog ua ib zaug nu muag nyob xwb nw twb tsis tau mus tua neeg ne! kev hlub xwb tsis ua li Cas li o
Cas nej pheej khav tias nej tus muam ntse tshaj li no na? Xyov yog nej ruam los nws ruam. Mloog nej piav xwb ces nej tus muam nov yog ib tug mebcab Pojruam tshaj plaws xwb os.
Dude, you "turned a mole hill into a mountain" where your little sister is concerned! You live in America where your sister has EVERY RIGHT to live her life however she wants as long as she's not breaking the law! You and your family, like so many older Hmong generation, place waaaaay too much emphasis on "face". If "face" is that important to you and your family, then you and your brothers should have gotten college degrees and become successful professionals in the workforce! If your sister were to judge you and your brothers by the same standards you used against her, then you guys have made her lose "face" for not being more successful! At the end of the day, it's your sister's life, not yours, so you have no say about it unless you want to support her financially. She has her own job, supports herself and doesn't go begging you guys for money, and she's not broken the law, so in the eyes of this country, she's fine with how she conducted her life (at least up until the affair thing). The only thing she committed that was morally wrong---but really still not your business---was having an affair with a married man and eventually marrying that man (of course, that man is equally wrong too since it takes TWO to have an affair). If you're not happy with her decisions, you most certainly can cut her out of your life since that's your right to make. If you and your family didn't have such an old world mindset, it would have been easy to say to all the nosy people, "Although we don't agree or like our sister's life decisions, it's her life and any consequences resulting from those decisions are hers alone." Remember that in America, you only have a say in someone's life if you financially support them---like your own children. You can have opinions, but that's it!
You’re forgetting that her kids will grow up with no father figure. Statistically they will grow up to be troubled little brats. Yes you’re right we shouldn’t care or give a shit about the sister, but what about the kids? They don’t deserve this
I hope you understand that the saving face has never really involved getting a high education. It's always been about holding oneself to a moral code/standard so YOU don't mess up your life 1st and therefore bringing shame to not only you but your family too. Doing something bad, wrong, illegal, etc will no doubt bring shame, but you won't hear the OGS say that they lost face because their child(ren) didn't go on to complete college. They'll definitely be embarrassed/txajmuag in their peer group when talking about their college or non-college kids.
@@MonaLisa-de4cp Exactly! No moral conduct has nothing to do about face. Education is not for face, although it can/should help uphold moral standard. It's not rocket science to understand this, some people are not only uneducated, also closeminded and immoral.
I just hear you complaining and lecturing and not being supportive. You cannot be there for your family if all they do is judge your life. Try living and accepting her and you will see the change you want. People behave badly at time because they are acting out. If you can’t see that you will be able to connect with her and she will never listen to you. And why would you blame your sister only? Of course it’s never the guys fault!
Tus neeg zoo li tus muam no ces hmoob yeej hais tias ua rhuav plu rhuav ntsej muag, yeej yuav tau qhuab qhia nws kom xob coj li no xob ua zoo li no li lawm ntas nawv, tab sis yog hais tas lub zog nws ho tsi yuav Los kav liam nej cov nug tsi xob muab ntau nqe loj thiab tso nws mus xob hais lawm.
This story sounds like you and your family only care about saving your own face. You’re not paying her bills nor putting a roof over her head or her kids. As long as she’s not breaking any laws then let her be and let her live her life. She grew up as an only girl with 6 boys, that can’t be easy for her either.
So what? That's her life, not yours. It seems you are quite an old-fashioned guy. You care about your pab thas quav cawv tham hluas nkauj more than your sister...
To the guy of this story, it's the same as the ogs having too many wivives and the ogs dating young cows from laos....you just need to keep your 75 thinking to yourself....and love your sister.....you are trying to control your sister like 1975 thinking.
Just be glad that she have a job & not under your roof. It's not like she stalked married man or threatened the man. Seemed like these men agreed to her terms too. I don't agree wihat she did but she's an adult & it takes two to tango.
This dude just explained why most Hmong parents done value a daughter at all. It’s saddened they don’t see her potential and how strong will she was. They only chose to see the negative and they won’t get from her when they die only. If she was a son, this story won’t be shared I am sure. Parents n brother like you here, don’t deserve your sister to come ua Ntxais zov hmo or ib pob shus!
She’s an adult, has her degree, good job, bought her own house and is independent. She doesn’t ask your family to support her, she is smart and totally independent relying on herself only. What more do you want from your sister? Let her live her life the way she wants. She is not doing harm to anyone. Be a brother, a friend and a family member she can turn to when she is in need. Otherwise one day she will cut you all out of her life.
Brother, maybe it's not how she wants her life to be, but that's her fate. Let her live her life, and you love her as a brother. What can you do differently if that life is yours ? All you can do is be her brother, you don't have to support her decision. Would you rather be worried about an outsiders reputation than your own blood? That's the thing with hmong people, they worried about their own reputation than their love ones. Rather cut ties and leave them on the streets. Sad.. very sad
Brother you say she embarrasses you- do you think you are better than yr sister, do you think that just bc shes had children out of wedlock that she is only good enough to marry any loser out there? Perhaps u need to revisit the way u think. And also, why is the opinion of complete strangers so important to u?Im not saying that yr sister didn’t make some mistakes but u probably r not perfect either. Stop bashing her im pretty sure if u ask her she might also have some pointers to give u for improvement .
Your sister lacks empathy… make me wonder what kind of mother she is to her children. Her white boyfriend was smart. He saw that in her thats why he didn’t want to marry her in the first place. You should also lower your expectations of her. She is one that does not care if she ever lives up to any one of your expectations. If her parent died and she did not shed a tear, what are anyone of you to her?? Nada!!
1. Just because you have a degree doesn’t mean you understand life. 2. Not saying marriage is the norm but living a unstable (chaotic) lifestyle is not good
Marriage is the normal. Many just choose not to be normal. Marriage is the foundation for a healthy and stable family. Of course we all want marriages to last forever but that's not the case.
Some people don’t like structure (being tied down) so those should not have kids nor a spouse. A partner is fine if their partner share the same ideals.
I understand the Hmong culture and where you’re coming from. But the problem here is not her, it’s you! You’re disappointed because she’s not living her life the way you want her to. It’s a problem because you made it a problem. Accept her for who she is and you’d be stress free. As long as she’s working and taking care of business, be happy. She’s not freeloading off of ya’ll so be happy. Why let other people’s opinion turn you bitter towards your sister?? What is more important? Your sister or people’s opinion? Come on Hmong people!! We gotta do better than this. We gotta learn how to mind our own business and dont make problems out from nothing. This doesn’t even have to be a problem, honestly. It’s not about your face, his face, or their faces. It’s about learning how to respect your sister as an adult and respect her choices in life.
I totally understand where the oP is saying. It’s not about “it’s your problem since you’re still taking old tradition too seriously”, but if you flip the script and it wasn’t the woman but the man doing it then it would be uncalled for. A Hmong guy goes have kids with multiple other female and pays child support then he is frowned on, but a Hmong woman does it and it’s not? Moreover the sister just has a high sex drive to be popping babies left and right with all these men’s. It must be a reward because maybe she’s getting paid child support money? But the main point is her kids will grow up without a father figure and that will messed up their growing development such as depression, sense of identity, and even troubled kids.
Why blame on your sister it's not her fault. you put too much baggage on her back. It's your friend that wanted to sleep with your sister I want to marry your sister so quit blaming me on your sister
Tus phem yog yus tus oh tus zoo yog luag tus mog tus me tij laug tsuas muaj ib tiam yug los ua nus muag xwb. Txawm phem txawm zoo los yuav tsum tau npo mog es luag tej thiaj li ntsia yus tus me muam muaj nqi ma.
Txhob tusiab nawb tus txiv ntawv nej hais tsis tau los lub ntuj mam li hais xwb mog cov neeg ua nws mus yuav luag txiv ua luag lub neej tawg ces nws tuag mus los yeej tsis tau zoo kiag nws txoj kev npam tseem nyob tos nws kavtsij qhia nej cov menyuam kom ua neeg zoo xwb mog menyuam ces txhob hlub heev heev nws thiaj tsis ua li koj tua muam nawb
Brother, things are changing here in America. The more you hold on to tradition, the smaller your in circle will be. At the end you’ll have nobody. Gotta be able to adapt. There are things we can’t control and your sister is one example. You can only control yourself. Even your wife and kids are uncontrollable because they have a different mindset, different personality and different way of life. Look what I’m saying is stop worrying so much about losing face. That’s not the most important thing in life. All I heard from your story is about losing face and how embarrassing it is to be her brother. I don’t hear you, your brothers or parents providing any kind of counseling, therapy or spend times with her for the hard times she’s going through. People in your sister’s situation needs love and comfort during hard times, but knowing the older Hmong brothers ways of thinking. All they do is yell, blame, point fingers and make comparisons. If that’s you, then you need to change. Don’t you want your sister to be happy despite what she went through. Protect her how you protected her when she was young. Be that big brother she can look forward too. Good luck and thanks for sharing your story.
I agreed with you totally. However, it is not acceptable by being a home wrecker and second wife. Her new husband, your friend the pabtha, is as bad and immoral as your sister. He should be blame as much as her and he should never be a Hmong leader in this day and age.
So start being just generic Asian American then. You can't be American and at the same time still claiming to be Hmong. There's no half and half. Look at all the Irish, German, Dutch, Scottish. They all assimilated and became your generic white American with no ties to their European home. Same to the Black Americans. They have no ties to Africans. Hmong people want to live this American life but at the same time still holding onto Hmong. Throw it all out. And your problems are solve.
So start being just generic Asian American then. You can't be American and at the same time still claiming to be Hmong. There's no half and half. Look at all the Irish, German, Dutch, Scottish. They all assimilated and became your generic white American with no ties to their European home. Same to the Black Americans. They have no ties to Africans. Hmong people want to live this American life but at the same time still holding onto Hmong. Throw it all out. And your problems are solve.
Then start being the generic Asian American then Can't be half and half Look at all the European whites that assimilated to White American. They've no ties to Europe culturally. Look at the black Americans. They've no ties to Africa culturally. Hmong can't be trying to fight for Hmong identity and at the same time talking about how we gotta change or we're changing to assimilate. No half and half.
It sounds like she never cared what anyone had to say since she was a teenager and that's sad. One good thing was that she decided to go to college and graduated, but that didn't make her any smarter with life decisions. If she didn't have kids then she can be liam all she wants because she's just gonna do her own thing. But she's not thinking about her kids but herself only and this isn't good for the kids, obviously. I'm sure when they're old enough they'll probably criticize her and be ashamed of her too. Kuv pab nej txajmuag kawg, especially qhov nws mus tham lwm tug tus txiv thiab tseem yuav kiag lawm. Your sister has no shame. I feel bad for the 2nd child because his/her dad could be anybody and maybe your sister doesn't even know who the real dad is. I hope you and your brothers will be good uncles and be there for those kids. You can only still hope that your sister will one day listen to you brothers down the road. I totally understand and feel for you, brother.
Yuav tu siab chim siab rau tej neeg coj li no xwb mas tu siab tsis paub tas li os me tub aw. Yuav kom lwm tus coj tau li yus xav mas yog ib qhov nyuaj nawb. Yog li no lawv thiaj li hais tias " Stop expecting from other so you won't be disappointed". Qhov yus ua tau ces tsuas yog muab lub tswv yim rau nws xwb nws yuav thiab tsis yuav los nyob ntawm nws.
Brother, I empathize with your point of view. Your sister doesn't have or hold strong morals and values at all. First mistake, ok. But 2nd n third time, hmm. Also, dating a married man, too. She gave you valid reasons to feel and think that way about her. Your emotions have been validated by her actions. You are not wrong or at fault. It's because you hold morals and values.
Hoyo tus txivtsev koj tus muam thiab nws tus txiv yeej yog neeg os tabsis coj li dev ces pab nej tusiab. We're not perfect but we all have to choose our own path, puam chawj os (nyaag ua nyaag aub xwb).
Hoyo txhob hais tej muam os nej tej ntxhais los yuav zoo ibyam thiab nawb txhob thuam tej muam npam sai sai hos.ruav laev khwv tau lawv noj naj lawv twb tsi thov nej noj ne
Nej txhob xav tias nej cov nus ua yog xwb no os yog nej tau taug txoj kev thiaj paub yog nej tus muam nej twb tsis hlub lawm muaj ib hnub Tom ntej yuav tu siab xwb os
Ib tsev neeg yeej muaj ib niag xuab xuab li os. Tsis yog nej xwb. Txhob chim chim es cem cem tsam ho poob los yog yus cov ntxhais thiab xeeb ntxwv kiag thiab hos. Our family had been there too. Just not too close as friend. Muab xav rau luag tej thiab xwb os Brother.
Kaav lam os brother awd... nyob teb chaws nuav lawm ces ua tsi tau le caag lawm, qhov luj tsuav nwg tau dej num zoo lawm, yug tau nwg tug kheej. Ua tuab zoo has rua tug nam luj , kawg yug tsi yog tug khoo luas lub cev
Kuv hlub tus poj niam sab tom heev li vim lub neej thawg tag vim yog nej niag muam meb cab no xwb...Nws tej menyuam los yuav tu siab tag rau niag yawg qias neeg no lawm os hmoob...Khav hais tias kwm ntawv keej tabsis ho mus txeeb luag txiv no mas tus tswv ntuj yeej yuav rau txim rau niag txiv dev zoo li niag txiv dev no,nej saib mus yeej yuav pom xwb os.
Xij mas thaub !! Tiam tshiab no yuav tau ua siab loj thiab !! Txhob coj li tej laus 75 ma !!!! Nej twb xav kom yuav hmoob thiab ne !! Cov tsis muaj poj niam tsis yuav ho yuav lawv tus txiv los that is okay !!! Yog niam tsev tod zoo dua nej tus muam nws yeej tsis yuav nej tus muam na !!! Time to change and forgive !!!!
Brother, it is what it is. There is nothing you can do to change your sister’s behavior.
Hais tsis tau lawm nyias ua nyias ris xwb txhob muab koj tus sister tej teeb meem los ua kev nyiab siab.
Koj tus yawm yij thiab koj tus muam ntawd ces sib phim nkaus xwb. Yog koj tus yawm yij yog ib tug txiv tsim txiaj tsheej haj ces yeej tsis yuav koj tus muam ua niam yau. Txiv dev thiab maum dev xwb. Qhov no tsis tim koj tus muam 100%.
Just because someone has a college degree doesn’t mean they’re smart.
Ua niam yau is not a bad idea for her! Lol. Tsuav nws ho zas plaub hau dub es nyoo los ua niam yau los yuav hmoob lawm mas. What’s wrong with that? That’s better than Mus yuav dub yuav mev yuav dawb mas hehe
Phem tsis cuag peb cov muam dev os! Xam hais tias nws tus hluas nraug Mekas tseem pab nws kawm tiav 4 year degree tau hauj lwm zoo ua, thiab niag Mekas tsis tau los nrog nej nyob ua nej nyab naw. Peb cov muam maum dev mas, tham cov hluas nraug Hmoob uas lawv niam lawv txiv kiag tos twb yuav tsis taus lawv lawm los vim lawv xuaj dhau lawm, ces cov hluas nraug ntawv los ua nkauj nyab thawj peb xwb hos. Siv yus, noj yus, kaus yus, tiam sis mas tsis ua Nraug nyab kom zoo thiab os, cav muaj cai cem yus thiab hos.
Hmoob tsis hlub cov ntxhais hlub cov tub xwb ces tuag tsis tau ib pob su los kav liam ma.
Kav liam mas nws twb over 18 lawm na tej zaum tim nej thiab nej muab coj nruj zog lawm xwb zoo phem los yog nej tus muam, nws twb tsis tau ua dab tsi phem rau nej na
Sorry but koj tus sister tsi Liam npau nco niag ntxhais es mus ua ONLYFAN!!! Cov nos mas thaij li yog tseem tseem Rhuav Plhu...
Brother, tsis tim koj tus muam xwb, koj tus pabthas los tim nws thiab. Ua cas koj yuav txaj muag ua luaj nawb, lawv laus txaus lawm, lawv paub lawv lub neej lawm.😅
Txhob chim2 txhua2 tus poj niam yeej yug los sib huas qau xwb nej cov muam thiab cov ntxhais mas tseem ok peb cov mas tsoob dub nkaus2 xwb tsheej pab dub muab txhiag xwb dhuav tiag2.
Koj tus muam lub private life has nothing to do with you or your brothers. Yog koj muaj lub siab hlub neeg tiag zamtxim pub rau hlub nws li qub. Tiam 21 lawm txob coj li cov OG.
Tus zoo yog luag tus. Tus phem thiab liam yog yus tus ces kawg pab tsis tau.
Koj tus yawm yij pabtha ntawd tsuas siv lub meej mom ntawd los tham hluas nkauj xwb. Txawm nws tsis yuav koj tus muam los nws yeej yuav mus yuav lwm tus vim nws tsis yog tus coj noj nws yog tus coj UA xwb.
Brother aw, kavliam mas. Twb tsis npaum ib txhia os. Ib txhia mas deev hluas nraug xyov peb tsawg leej hos twb tsis yog muaj 2 tug menyuam xwb os. Ib txhia tseem muaj 10 tawm tus menyuam es ib tug ib xeem hos. Ib txhia es twb tsis ua haujlwm li thiab mas npav deev hluas nraug kom muaj menyuam es yuav npav noj child support xwb. Tsis li Los tseem tuaj muab tej nyab tej nus cem los cem, foom los foom thiab os
Tim nej hom muab nws hlub dhau lawm thiaj ua nws tsis mloog nej hais ne
Cov poj niam hmoob tam sim no liam liam tsis muaj cov zoo yuav los ua niam tsev lawm nawb cov kwv tij hmoob aw...
Tus nus aw, tus patha kiag twb tsis txaj muag rau nws lub ntsej muag lawm es koj tus muam yog ib tug menyuam pejxeem xwb ces txhob txaj muag heev heev os. Calm down nawb. Txawm tias koj chim chim rau koj tus muam es koj tsis hlub nws lawm los, tsis ysim nyog koj coj tuaj hais rau Public hnov os nawb.
Es ua cas koj lub plhu ho yuav mus rhuav vim koj tus muam? Es cas koj lub ntsej muag ho yuav mus khi rau koj tus muam? Es cas loj lub taub hau ho yuav mus nyob rau koj tus muam tsuj?
Es koj txawm tsis muaj ib qho dab tsi zoo dua li yog tias koj tus muas yuav txiv raws koj nyiam li ntag?
Yog npaum li ces koj kuj tsis muaj qab ntxhiab dab tsi kiag li, thaub?
If you yourself have nothing valuable worthy of life than having that needle size self image that tie to your sister’s life, then what a waste of your life. Nyob nyhav av lawm xwb tiag koj na.
Tu siab qawg os brother. Kav liam xwb os
Koj tus muam yuav meskas thawj zaug, ces nws txawj ntxais qau heev. Vim li ntawd koj tus phoojywg pab tha thiaj li qaug rau koj tus muam. ua rau nws tsis nco txuag nws lub ntsej muag li lawm. Koj tus muam tseem tshuav ntau tus txiv uas nws tseem yov yuav tom ntej no. Hnub twg nws dhuav yawm pab tha ntawd lawm ces nws yeej ua ib yam li nws ua rau nws cov hluas nraug yav dhau los ntawd thiab. Yawg pab tha ntawd, txog qhov kawg nws tsis muaj chaw cob cuab. Nws yuav tsis muaj npe noj mov nrog tej neeg tseem ceeb lawm. Yawm pab ntawd nws tsis ntse, nws yog hom ob tog hlw ob tog phle nkaus xwb. Vim li ntawd nws thiaj li tuag rau koj tus muam lub maiv ntxais qau.
Yus hais li yus hais tau xwb. Thaum yus hais tas nws tsis mloog lawm ces yuav tau kav liam thiab. Tabsis qhov Kuv pom nej ua tsis yog lawm mas nej cia li muab nws txiav tawm tsis suav nws ua nej ib tus muam. Xyov yog hmoov dabtsis ntuj thiaj coj nej los ua nug muag. Zam txim rau nws, hlub nws. Nej saib taus nej tus muam ces nej tus yawm yij thiaj li hlub nej tus muam nawb.
Some of these people in the comment section are disconnected from reality. The sister’s behavior is unhealthy even for American/mainstream standards. This applies to men or women. With this kind of philosophy on life, the chances of the children in that dysfunctional household becoming functional healthy individuals of society are slim. The kids don’t stand a chance.
Amen. I was going through the comments to find if someone had made a sensible and based comment first before I did about exactly what you said. You hit it right on the nose. I don't understand those other people. I guess they must not have much standards.
Ntiaj teb no yeej muaj ib co neeg liam liam xuaj xuaj li no. Tab sis txhob mus txhawj txog lawv thiaj tsis mob hlwb. Kav tsij rau rau siab ua yus lub neej xwb.
Tus nus koj xav tias tam sim no tsis yog muaj koj tus muam ib leeg thiaj li ua rau nej pab kwv tij poob ntsej muag xwb tag hauv qab ntuj no muaj feem coob yeej zoo ib yam li koj tus muam thiab tus zoo yog luag tus tus liam yog yus tus ces xij nws liam ua rau nej cov kwv tij poob ntsej muag los nws twb tsis nyob tos nej ua rau nws noj hos nws twb muaj hauj lwm zoo nws muaj hauj lwm tau nyiaj txaus nws ywg nws cov me nyuam ces xij ua ib sim nus muag xwb tsis muaj lwm tiam rov ua nus muag dua tsuas yog tiam no xwb kav liam ua siab ntev os mog txhob tu siab thiab yog muaj cov muam sab nrauv ho vam txog nej cov kwv tij los ho hlub lawv kom muaj muam xwb mas mog.
ib tug me muam xwb tsis txhob chim thiab cem cem nw nawb mog ua ib zaug nu muag nyob xwb nw twb tsis tau mus tua neeg ne! kev hlub xwb tsis ua li Cas li o
ntuj aw ua neeg nim yuav xaiv tau txhua2 yam zoo na txob cem2 tsam ho npam koj ce koj cov ntxais tseem liam tsaj thiab os
Niag muam Liam li ko tseem lam paub ces muab dev lub ntsej muag los look lawm xwb
Cas nej pheej khav tias nej tus muam ntse tshaj li no na? Xyov yog nej ruam los nws ruam. Mloog nej piav xwb ces nej tus muam nov yog ib tug mebcab Pojruam tshaj plaws xwb os.
Dude, you "turned a mole hill into a mountain" where your little sister is concerned! You live in America where your sister has EVERY RIGHT to live her life however she wants as long as she's not breaking the law! You and your family, like so many older Hmong generation, place waaaaay too much emphasis on "face". If "face" is that important to you and your family, then you and your brothers should have gotten college degrees and become successful professionals in the workforce! If your sister were to judge you and your brothers by the same standards you used against her, then you guys have made her lose "face" for not being more successful! At the end of the day, it's your sister's life, not yours, so you have no say about it unless you want to support her financially. She has her own job, supports herself and doesn't go begging you guys for money, and she's not broken the law, so in the eyes of this country, she's fine with how she conducted her life (at least up until the affair thing). The only thing she committed that was morally wrong---but really still not your business---was having an affair with a married man and eventually marrying that man (of course, that man is equally wrong too since it takes TWO to have an affair). If you're not happy with her decisions, you most certainly can cut her out of your life since that's your right to make. If you and your family didn't have such an old world mindset, it would have been easy to say to all the nosy people, "Although we don't agree or like our sister's life decisions, it's her life and any consequences resulting from those decisions are hers alone." Remember that in America, you only have a say in someone's life if you financially support them---like your own children. You can have opinions, but that's it!
You’re forgetting that her kids will grow up with no father figure. Statistically they will grow up to be troubled little brats. Yes you’re right we shouldn’t care or give a shit about the sister, but what about the kids? They don’t deserve this
I hope you understand that the saving face has never really involved getting a high education. It's always been about holding oneself to a moral code/standard so YOU don't mess up your life 1st and therefore bringing shame to not only you but your family too. Doing something bad, wrong, illegal, etc will no doubt bring shame, but you won't hear the OGS say that they lost face because their child(ren) didn't go on to complete college. They'll definitely be embarrassed/txajmuag in their peer group when talking about their college or non-college kids.
@@MonaLisa-de4cp Exactly! No moral conduct has nothing to do about face. Education is not for face, although it can/should help uphold moral standard. It's not rocket science to understand this, some people are not only uneducated, also closeminded and immoral.
I just hear you complaining and lecturing and not being supportive. You cannot be there for your family if all they do is judge your life. Try living and accepting her and you will see the change you want. People behave badly at time because they are acting out. If you can’t see that you will be able to connect with her and she will never listen to you.
And why would you blame your sister only? Of course it’s never the guys fault!
Tus neeg zoo li tus muam no ces hmoob yeej hais tias ua rhuav plu rhuav ntsej muag, yeej yuav tau qhuab qhia nws kom xob coj li no xob ua zoo li no li lawm ntas nawv, tab sis yog hais tas lub zog nws ho tsi yuav Los kav liam nej cov nug tsi xob muab ntau nqe loj thiab tso nws mus xob hais lawm.
This story sounds like you and your family only care about saving your own face. You’re not paying her bills nor putting a roof over her head or her kids. As long as she’s not breaking any laws then let her be and let her live her life. She grew up as an only girl with 6 boys, that can’t be easy for her either.
So what? That's her life, not yours. It seems you are quite an old-fashioned guy. You care about your pab thas quav cawv tham hluas nkauj more than your sister...
Pabthas.😅 😅 neeg liam khavtheeb, quav cawv xwb.
To the guy of this story, it's the same as the ogs having too many wivives and the ogs dating young cows from laos....you just need to keep your 75 thinking to yourself....and love your sister.....you are trying to control your sister like 1975 thinking.
The whole time he's complaining about his reputation smh. Let her do her she doesn't need you to take care of her smh
Kav Liam leave her alone it’s her life
Hook us up brother
What’s wrong with her being wife 2? Hmong people has always been able to do that. You’re shaman right?
Cannot do anything about it! Just live on and move fwd xwb.
She did nothing wrong as far as how she wanted to live her life. You're blasting her out because the life she chose is not what you want. Get over it.
Just be glad that she have a job & not under your roof. It's not like she stalked married man or threatened the man. Seemed like these men agreed to her terms too. I don't agree wihat she did but she's an adult & it takes two to tango.
This dude just explained why most Hmong parents done value a daughter at all. It’s saddened they don’t see her potential and how strong will she was. They only chose to see the negative and they won’t get from her when they die only. If she was a son, this story won’t be shared I am sure. Parents n brother like you here, don’t deserve your sister to come ua Ntxais zov hmo or ib pob shus!
She’s an adult, has her degree, good job, bought her own house and is independent. She doesn’t ask your family to support her, she is smart and totally independent relying on herself only. What more do you want from your sister? Let her live her life the way she wants. She is not doing harm to anyone. Be a brother, a friend and a family member she can turn to when she is in need. Otherwise one day she will cut you all out of her life.
Take her to The Maury Show to find who the baby daddy is. Lol.
Brother, maybe it's not how she wants her life to be, but that's her fate. Let her live her life, and you love her as a brother. What can you do differently if that life is yours ? All you can do is be her brother, you don't have to support her decision. Would you rather be worried about an outsiders reputation than your own blood? That's the thing with hmong people, they worried about their own reputation than their love ones. Rather cut ties and leave them on the streets. Sad.. very sad
Brother you say she embarrasses you- do you think you are better than yr sister, do you think that just bc shes had children out of wedlock that she is only good enough to marry any loser out there? Perhaps u need to revisit the way u think. And also, why is the opinion of complete strangers so important to u?Im not saying that yr sister didn’t make some mistakes but u probably r not perfect either. Stop bashing her im pretty sure if u ask her she might also have some pointers to give u for improvement .
Your sister lacks empathy… make me wonder what kind of mother she is to her children. Her white boyfriend was smart. He saw that in her thats why he didn’t want to marry her in the first place.
You should also lower your expectations of her. She is one that does not care if she ever lives up to any one of your expectations.
If her parent died and she did not shed a tear, what are anyone of you to her?? Nada!!
1. Just because you have a degree doesn’t mean you understand life.
2. Not saying marriage is the norm but living a unstable (chaotic) lifestyle is not good
Marriage is the normal. Many just choose not to be normal. Marriage is the foundation for a healthy and stable family. Of course we all want marriages to last forever but that's not the case.
Some people don’t like structure (being tied down) so those should not have kids nor a spouse. A partner is fine if their partner share the same ideals.
@@chayang4525 I agree.
It is what it is. It's her life u can not change her live yur life n let her be
I understand the Hmong culture and where you’re coming from. But the problem here is not her, it’s you! You’re disappointed because she’s not living her life the way you want her to. It’s a problem because you made it a problem. Accept her for who she is and you’d be stress free. As long as she’s working and taking care of business, be happy. She’s not freeloading off of ya’ll so be happy. Why let other people’s opinion turn you bitter towards your sister?? What is more important? Your sister or people’s opinion? Come on Hmong people!! We gotta do better than this. We gotta learn how to mind our own business and dont make problems out from nothing. This doesn’t even have to be a problem, honestly. It’s not about your face, his face, or their faces. It’s about learning how to respect your sister as an adult and respect her choices in life.
Respects people like her until someone like her ruins someone you knows life personally by being a homewreaker. You ain’t the next Hmong MLK, stop
Stay away from get life. One day she will get to tast her own medicine.
I totally understand where the oP is saying. It’s not about “it’s your problem since you’re still taking old tradition too seriously”, but if you flip the script and it wasn’t the woman but the man doing it then it would be uncalled for. A Hmong guy goes have kids with multiple other female and pays child support then he is frowned on, but a Hmong woman does it and it’s not? Moreover the sister just has a high sex drive to be popping babies left and right with all these men’s. It must be a reward because maybe she’s getting paid child support money? But the main point is her kids will grow up without a father figure and that will messed up their growing development such as depression, sense of identity, and even troubled kids.
Why blame on your sister it's not her fault. you put too much baggage on her back. It's your friend that wanted to sleep with your sister I want to marry your sister so quit blaming me on your sister
Tsuav yog nws tseem ua haujlawm yug tebchaws ces zoo lawm txob yog tebchaws yug nws xwb❤❤😊
Yog kawg cov tub ntxhais tam sim no ces yeej yuav coj li no mus lawm xwb. Stop expecting from other so you won't be disappointed.
Tus phem yog yus tus oh tus zoo yog luag tus mog tus me tij laug tsuas muaj ib tiam yug los ua nus muag xwb. Txawm phem txawm zoo los yuav tsum tau npo mog es luag tej thiaj li ntsia yus tus me muam muaj nqi ma.
Txhob tusiab nawb tus txiv ntawv nej hais tsis tau los lub ntuj mam li hais xwb mog cov neeg ua nws mus yuav luag txiv ua luag lub neej tawg ces nws tuag mus los yeej tsis tau zoo kiag nws txoj kev npam tseem nyob tos nws kavtsij qhia nej cov menyuam kom ua neeg zoo xwb mog menyuam ces txhob hlub heev heev nws thiaj tsis ua li koj tua muam nawb
Brother, things are changing here in America. The more you hold on to tradition, the smaller your in circle will be. At the end you’ll have nobody. Gotta be able to adapt.
There are things we can’t control and your sister is one example. You can only control yourself. Even your wife and kids are uncontrollable because they have a different mindset, different personality and different way of life. Look what I’m saying is stop worrying so much about losing face. That’s not the most important thing in life. All I heard from your story is about losing face and how embarrassing it is to be her brother. I don’t hear you, your brothers or parents providing any kind of counseling, therapy or spend times with her for the hard times she’s going through. People in your sister’s situation needs love and comfort during hard times, but knowing the older Hmong brothers ways of thinking. All they do is yell, blame, point fingers and make comparisons. If that’s you, then you need to change.
Don’t you want your sister to be happy despite what she went through. Protect her how you protected her when she was young. Be that big brother she can look forward too. Good luck and thanks for sharing your story.
Thank you for saying this!!! We are assimilating into the American culture and need to change.
I agreed with you totally. However, it is not acceptable by being a home wrecker and second wife. Her new husband, your friend the pabtha, is as bad and immoral as your sister. He should be blame as much as her and he should never be a Hmong leader in this day and age.
So start being just generic Asian American then.
You can't be American and at the same time still claiming to be Hmong. There's no half and half.
Look at all the Irish, German, Dutch, Scottish. They all assimilated and became your generic white American with no ties to their European home.
Same to the Black Americans. They have no ties to Africans.
Hmong people want to live this American life but at the same time still holding onto Hmong. Throw it all out. And your problems are solve.
So start being just generic Asian American then.
You can't be American and at the same time still claiming to be Hmong. There's no half and half.
Look at all the Irish, German, Dutch, Scottish. They all assimilated and became your generic white American with no ties to their European home.
Same to the Black Americans. They have no ties to Africans.
Hmong people want to live this American life but at the same time still holding onto Hmong. Throw it all out. And your problems are solve.
Then start being the generic Asian American then
Can't be half and half
Look at all the European whites that assimilated to White American. They've no ties to Europe culturally.
Look at the black Americans. They've no ties to Africa culturally.
Hmong can't be trying to fight for Hmong identity and at the same time talking about how we gotta change or we're changing to assimilate.
No half and half.
It sounds like she never cared what anyone had to say since she was a teenager and that's sad. One good thing was that she decided to go to college and graduated, but that didn't make her any smarter with life decisions. If she didn't have kids then she can be liam all she wants because she's just gonna do her own thing. But she's not thinking about her kids but herself only and this isn't good for the kids, obviously. I'm sure when they're old enough they'll probably criticize her and be ashamed of her too. Kuv pab nej txajmuag kawg, especially qhov nws mus tham lwm tug tus txiv thiab tseem yuav kiag lawm. Your sister has no shame. I feel bad for the 2nd child because his/her dad could be anybody and maybe your sister doesn't even know who the real dad is. I hope you and your brothers will be good uncles and be there for those kids. You can only still hope that your sister will one day listen to you brothers down the road. I totally understand and feel for you, brother.
Yuav tu siab chim siab rau tej neeg coj li no xwb mas tu siab tsis paub tas li os me tub aw. Yuav kom lwm tus coj tau li yus xav mas yog ib qhov nyuaj nawb. Yog li no lawv thiaj li hais tias " Stop expecting from other so you won't be disappointed". Qhov yus ua tau ces tsuas yog muab lub tswv yim rau nws xwb nws yuav thiab tsis yuav los nyob ntawm nws.
Brother, I empathize with your point of view. Your sister doesn't have or hold strong morals and values at all. First mistake, ok. But 2nd n third time, hmm. Also, dating a married man, too. She gave you valid reasons to feel and think that way about her. Your emotions have been validated by her actions. You are not wrong or at fault. It's because you hold morals and values.
Hoyo tus txivtsev koj tus muam thiab nws tus txiv yeej yog neeg os tabsis coj li dev ces pab nej tusiab. We're not perfect but we all have to choose our own path, puam chawj os (nyaag ua nyaag aub xwb).
Hoyo txhob hais tej muam os nej tej ntxhais los yuav zoo ibyam thiab nawb txhob thuam tej muam npam sai sai hos.ruav laev khwv tau lawv noj naj lawv twb tsi thov nej noj ne
Nej txhob xav tias nej cov nus ua yog xwb no os yog nej tau taug txoj kev thiaj paub yog nej tus muam nej twb tsis hlub lawm muaj ib hnub Tom ntej yuav tu siab xwb os
Ib tsev neeg yeej muaj ib niag xuab xuab li os. Tsis yog nej xwb. Txhob chim chim es cem cem tsam ho poob los yog yus cov ntxhais thiab xeeb ntxwv kiag thiab hos. Our family had been there too. Just not too close as friend. Muab xav rau luag tej thiab xwb os Brother.
Koj niag muam liam kawg nrog koj tu siab
Tus neeg li cas los twb yog nej tus yawm yij MOG. Es sib hlub nawb.
Kaav lam os brother awd... nyob teb chaws nuav lawm ces ua tsi tau le caag lawm, qhov luj tsuav nwg tau dej num zoo lawm, yug tau nwg tug kheej. Ua tuab zoo has rua tug nam luj , kawg yug tsi yog tug khoo luas lub cev
Koj tus muam twb yog ib tug tuaj yug nyob tej chaws no cas tseem cav muaj lub maib tias mus ua niam yau no ne.
Txhob tus siab heev thiab nawb tes laug yeej ib txiv hais tiaj tus zoo yog luag tus tus phem yog yus tus xa rau lub teb chaws thiab os cov kwv tij
She doesn't have a problem with her life. Why is there a concern from you people??
Love your outfit it’s beautiful on you
Thanks.
I am 100000 beautiful.
Thank you 🙏🏽
Kuv hlub tus poj niam sab tom heev li vim lub neej thawg tag vim yog nej niag muam meb cab no xwb...Nws tej menyuam los yuav tu siab tag rau niag yawg qias neeg no lawm os hmoob...Khav hais tias kwm ntawv keej tabsis ho mus txeeb luag txiv no mas tus tswv ntuj yeej yuav rau txim rau niag txiv dev zoo li niag txiv dev no,nej saib mus yeej yuav pom xwb os.