Sylvia. thank you so much for sharing this. you have no idea how much you are helping so many others by validating our feelings/experiences and things that we would never have the courage to face or confront. thank you. i am also trying to understand how i have grown up to tolerate abusive treatment and a lack of boundaries. im hoping that i will finally be able to embark on this healing journey and escape the cycle.
Big big big hugs! Thank you for seeing courage in me, thank you for being so kind, and thank you for being such an emphatic fellow human being as we grow through the dirty and messy!
Ouf, the tea spilled. But it is context to the saga, the inner workings of the crumbled marriage. I mean since Ryan has been publicly speaking about it, it's fair for her to share her story/ experience.
I rly don’t understand the amount of hate that continues on. I genuinely don’t think Sylvia is the one trying to feed on the drama/saga… you guys are. Its quite evident her intent is not to put whoever down, her story focuses on herself and her narrative. Stop the hate and move on la guys.
Sylvia is surely no angel. But she has already paid the price. But the fact that Nicole Liel is still out there walking freely… it disgust me lol. There should be some consequences for her :)
Subscribed ❤️I love how Sylvia spill out openly all her emotions her past and problems. This channel really voice out a lot of pains some of us couldn’t. And I feel so much listening and also can relate especially to the abusive partner and abusive father. Keep up hope more of videos come out. I cannot wait to listen to u again. 😡
Way to go Sylvia, many many nuggets of wisdom - identifying the root of personal reward from tolerance of a dysfunctional relationship, forgiving someone who’s hurt you, intergenerational trauma. All that good work done working your way back up! I’ve learnt a lot from this sharing too!
I know what you went thru Sylvia. My dad also had issues. And my mom beared with it all. It was their first time being parents as well which i shared during SCA being on the coaching couch. Thank you so much for sharing!
My thoughts went: He didn't help shift house because he doesn't like dirt? Well no shit who likes dirt??? My husband hates dirt as well which is why he will do the work to get rid of the dirt without me asking him to. I think maybe Sylvia justified it differently in her mind at the time to protect the relationship but in retrospect I think it was a huge red flag. I'm glad she sees it clearly now that a lot of aspects of her relationship were just warped and not healthy.
Another great episode. Thank you, Sylvia and Dan, for producing this show. I have personally been actively practicing self-healing. Although I have emotionally unpacked and understood how my past traumas and learned patterns have shaped who I am today, this video brings even more clarity. I truly appreciate how these two individuals, skilled with words, convey these emotions. Great work, guys!
Another great instalment. You're really making a difference by opening up and helping others learn from your experiences. I believe many people will be reminded to check their own blind spots and have a starting point to do an audit on what's going on in their lives and fix it. Thank you Sylvia and Dan.
Thank you Sylvia for sharing and I am proud of you to be so strong to move out of this crazy ‘cage’ and ‘shackles’ that your ex partner has put you. You are a strong intelligent woman and you deserve so much more better. You are doing great and please continue doing more of this videos!
This video is super relatable!When you grow and evolve into someone who is wise and has a lot of wisdom it feels like you have awakened a third eye,one that not many people are able to access😎
This is how Ryan is treating his new girlfriend now. If anyone realized, they have been quarreling about why Ryan always does nothing and is dirty, even his employees said that he always leave all his green tea around the company. IT IS IN MULTIPLE VIDEOS and recent.
Hmm new girlfriend don’t have that support system don’t have brother or father if her father see her being ill treated nvr help her, maybe Slyvia can help support her? 🤔
Jiayou, Sylvia ❤️🩹 Everytime I watched your YT, my heart aches. Xiaxue was definitely your guardian angel/heroine when the saga broke out. So brave of her. 👏🏻 This video is also a wake up call for women being mistreated, abused unknowingly. We women need to know how to keep ourselves safe, set boundaries etc. 👊🏻
Could you kindly share how you and your ex-partner entered into your marriage and what the dynamic was like? Was it more of a mutual decision, or did one of you take the lead in pursuing the relationship before the marriage? Additionally, if you don't mind sharing, what led to your decision to marry at such a young age?
Just some thoughts, no matter how many of these masterclass you signed up, your past trauma past bad experiences will never get heal completely. So you have to just reconcile with yourself and the world. focus on yourself and more importantly love yourself. Go out travel alone have a vacation. Do things that scare you. Make plans, keep a busy schedule. And you be able to move forward and out of the woods.
how odd to make a conclusion that one's past trauma and bad experiences won't heal completely. Is it because yours never healed, that is why you think that?
I have always been Team Sylvia since day 1. I can feel your liberation n I’m so glad u walked out fm the toxic marriage, just like wat I did 14 years ago. U go gurl! ❤
Thank you Slyvia for sharing your own experience to the whole world and enlighten us there is still hope and self - worth who could resonate this. Believe tat truth sets us free when we embrace it wholeheartedly. The beginning of a new journey is always tough, it will get better as we decide to walk e 1st step with the correct help and support . It is always nv too late to learn and improve on our decision making in life. ❤
Dan adds volume to this engagement, which would probably takes a skilled master to do this kind of uplifting build up over such complex and dynamic conversations.
Pple ask "but sylvia is so vulgar, terror and mistreat staff at NOC".......How not to be vulgar and angry when yr hubby treats other women like sweet princesses vs to wife as granted naggy slogging capable being. 😂 Anyway a new life for Sylvia now. Pamper yourself lady, looks good and feel good. Be a high class princess ❤
It's quite sad in the last video when the police sorta said she had no friends/ people who she thought were her friends weren't so. Brave of her to share about this. She was hurt in her home life and her outward treatment of people showed it + stress of managing a business. I can relate, it's a lot on the line. Less ego, and more love!
❤❤❤❤ can’t wait to watch this in complete wholesome after a good dinner tonight all the way here in the Chicago! Way to go guys! You guys rock with this wonderful union in dirty messy free. Not a young fan but love love this already so very much!!
EH GUYS, FOR THE FUCKING LOVE OF GOD, STOP HATING ON DAN AND TELLING HIM TO STOP INTERRUPTING SYLVIA. Dan is just responding to Sylvia and acknowledging her by going “mm” “ya” “mm-hmm”.
Loovvveee this episode! I feel that even when the unpacking of anything is starting from within, sometimes we need to be able to step out or have some1 be able to be the 3rd party to give it a different perspective to be able to shift and transform! Thanks for another awesome episode Sylvia & Dan! ♥
As a fellow Malaysian Im really proud of you being able to stand tall with all those things youve been through. You go girl truly inspirational. If you make a book about yourself I will fully support it.
46:45 I still choose to love, just not those who have hurt me. I admit that we had happy moments, I acknowledge their worth as human beings, but I no longer choose to love them. Then they feel disappointed because of my choice, accusing me of not at least pretending to like them, when being in the same space as them already consumes all of my energy. There was no love in the beginning; if there was, it broke when you chose to hurt me with suspicion, rumours and attacks; not once, twice but prolonged period. Goodbye and never again.
sometimes when people are abused, they have a tendency to think that it's a good thing, like they have a badge of honor, especially when they have kids, they feel like they're being a hero, but the truth is, it's not good for them and not good for the kids
Actually I think it’s quite nice with Dan around. It’s like listening to two really close friends after they had a few drinks, deep and brutally honest conversations. I feel like I’m people watching.
Too many "YES" from Sylvia (since Ep 1, easily 30x to 40x of YES per podcast) ...it just made the podcast feel very much scripted. But thumbs up to Dan in sharing his knowledge and breakdown into bite size info.
“Right!” And “I was like” too. But I focus more on the podcast more and really heartfelt for sylvia.. sometimes i wonder if is due to childhood trauma that causes all these, because I felt the same and acted the same. There was once i was told that why i allowed my bf to just sit there and do nothing every weekend or other occasion, is he handicapped? And why I also find excuse for him and say “he is like that” and do it myself. Unknowingly we are pleasing our partner a lot, until my friends and family told me off. Not sure why I am acting this? Probably from the influence of my mom, and traumatic childhood ask me to be like this I am not happy in my 12yrs relationship and trying to find a way to end it. I am mentally exhausted with this narcissist partner of mine. I am very tired to handle everything myself because I tell myself that only I can handle and solve things. I guess I really need to wake up and ask for help now.
The greatest life coach is someone who has been through great suffering and pain. Before healing and growth can take place, the negative feelings and thoughts need to be "released" 1st bits by bits. 1 way is to share her bottled feelings and thoughts with someone. And we (the humans who are willing to hear her out no matter how many times she repeated, without attacking her or humiliating her or belittling her, till the day she heals and move on completely) blessed all beings.
I don't think those faults are the kind that will make me give up on a marriage. Anyway, what I really cannot accept is how so many people ganged up against Sylvia and wanted to land her in serious trouble. And how her ex-partner didn't help her.
I think it was multiple aspects and years of ill treatment, being cheated on and refusal to change that caused the divorce. It’s not always just a few small problems. They accumulate and when it doesn’t improve, better to let go instead of stay in an unhealthy marriage.
I think this is good sharing to empower people facing similar situation, there are people that tolerate nonsense from their partner, and i think it should be time those people wake their idea. However, this is going way too extended on the content to hit the purpose of guiding and empowering people of similar experience. It feels like one is gently playing the victim card for any bad behaviour of the past. Others may had mistreated you very badly in the past, but it does not justify for any bad behaviour you had done to others. You have a choice at any moment to decide how you react and treat others, and not base on how people had treated you or your past experience. If you had decided on a negative behaviour, i think it will be nice to address those negative behaviour too. The whole video series feels like leveraging on this saga to gain something out of it. I think it is alright as an influencer to explain your situation, this feels like too much. I know nuts about life coaching, but the video series makes me feels like life coaching does things like finding reason to your bad behaviour, justifying your behaviour, and not needing to feel apologetic. I don't think it is like this, just that the video series feels like this.
The paroting got me so annoyed that i cant sit through this video. Like why does he have a comment for every single thing he says. Some comments even longer than the storytelling, borderline irritating
Workplace abuse REPORT TO MOM. NOT low despicable act revenge of posting everywhere as a gang on social media with 1 evil intention - to destroy and bring her down completely.
Sylvia, ni ai wo ma... I wish we can start at right foot.. Really wish that I could study in JC with U and Ravi and Kirsten.. But they are really negative and hope we can be better than our group friends... We are living in a society...
Thank you for the granular detail on family trauma. This resonates. Agree that after a long time in unhealthy which becomes the norm - it is hard to recognize what is healthy. Agree that frozen is the most internally damaging psychological response when the intuitive response is fight or flight.
Does this come across as self-righteous (in some parts)? Possible to share your true failures in this past relationship and your lesson points? How about the infamous video about your interactions with your ex-employees?
Another guilt confession, I'm so confused is this like straight up in denial manipulated or its going to end in an apology video at the end. Super confusing, maybe there's any manipulated students here under these coaches could explain
We are all born pure and innocent. Beneath the pure and innocent, there could also lie a demon in us. We just need a devil to ignite our demons in us. Anyone under a long term abusive relationship would turn nuts and become the abuser themselves. Not defending for her wrong actions in the past. If she has shown remorse and wishes to repent, we should give her a chance like how we give ex convicts a second chance in life. 🤗
I (Sylvia) owned up to my poor behaviour 3 years ago in 2021 in public. Thank you for being so kind to call my actions out, and I have taken constructive feedback - best way to improve is to work on becoming better, which I do believe I am doing with this podcast 😊🙏🏼
Hmm Some couple are really okay with higher and lower position in a relationship. For Sylvia she is more of hoping to get an equal position in a relationship while Ryan probably wants a high- low position probably he thinks he is the man of the house which is pretty common guy mentality. So that presents a conflict. I think both should have effective communicated the expectations of the relationship that may have saved the relationship. I am not really into the “Zoom-out friends” rubbish. They are more of a home wrecker imho. If they are really good friends they should keep the couple a couple rather then hey you got all these problems my advise is you go divorce. If my friends got problems with their special half. I would probably advise him/her on ways to save the relationship first before anything else. And only if its in a state where the relationship is too toxic then only then its for them to call it quits.
What kind of man of house lets another man who is a complete stranger help his wife move their own house rather than help his wife himself? Traditional men do the heavy lifting! This was a wimp!
she's really not fighting back. haha. she's mostly just sharing her life experiences and help others inspect their own. if the focus was attacking Ryan, the one hour video won't only have one thing about him which is him playing league while the whole world works on shifting his home.
Hi Sylvia, I thought you were the culprit and the cause of this saga, since Ryan and all ppl stand by Ryan's side, portraying the good/innocent side of them that makes you the evil person. So I'm struggling to know what the truth is and who is really speaking the truth. Please tell us all the truth and stories that were supposing manipulated by others.
This conversation is amazing itself. Maybe from my opinion to perfect your videos. The transitioning of dialogue between you both. Can be smoothen, you both talk so fast 😂, hear 1 person talk finish 1st maybe? because the topics is very very interesting itself. Sorry just my 2 cents. Overall 🎉 Hebat! Congrats!
Actually what’s the point of digging up the past and badmouthing the ex-husband in a series of podcast? In a failed marriage, both parties have some fault in one way or another. I can understand if you release 1 video to talk about what happened to you over the past 2 years and as a way to reconnect with your viewers, before moving on to other topics. But no, it had to go on to 3 episodes and more. I think it’s quite distasteful to still harp on the past and bring down the others even after all these years. It will reflect better on you if you continue a series of podcasts talking about other topics of interests, be it motivating others, recent trends etc (somewhat like TheThirstySisters that I loved).
You may not be able to relate to her story, but I can personally tell you that her story has helped me and many other women who have been in a similar position feel heard and supported. She’s not doing any harm by sharing her story, so don’t shame her just because it’s not what you would do. You are entitled to your opinions, as is she.
@@xuele94 if sharing her experience can do harm (especially if it's the truth), i think it says more her ex-husband than her don't you think? i'm glad you care about her ex-husband tho lol
I did not understand why the brother asked this question when he was also brought up in an abusive environment. If he was brought up watching his mother get abused all the time, he should think that that is normal. So how did this boy who grew up watching his father do this to his mother be a softee and a gentle boy even after all the toxic environment that he grew up in? He should think that this is all normal for him. Your ex partner is also a young boy growing up. Both are too young and did not work out cos both impatient. And too much of abusive language used on each other. Both will grow from here and hopefully, not make the same mistakes.
After listening to this podcast there is only one major takeaway: 'Cause, baby, now we got bad blood You know it used to be mad love So take a look what you've done 'Cause, baby, now we got bad blood, hey Now we got problems And I don't think we can solve them You made a really deep cut And, baby, now we got bad blood, hey
My friend hired a helper to do the dirty chores, they're still happily married. So maybe it's the "brother's" fault? Instead of finding fault (no one is perfect), maybe can find how to resolve this unbalanced thought?
A narc will always calls his/her other half a narc. I am not convinced about your initial purpose for doing these podcasts. It seems like you want to clear your name and victimise yourself. I hope you have found your peace and probably you are able to get out of it, and communicate better with your future partner ❤
Wow such a passive aggressive comment. “Victimise yourself”? I didn’t know telling one’s truth and experience is victimising one’s self. Please don’t gaslight those who have courage to come out and tell their hurtful experience and very personal stories. Instead, let’s support and encourage people to get out of toxic relationships, be it in marriage, friendships or family.
She should have the right to clear her name any way since she has so many police case file against her. So why not clear her name when she is innocent under the law. If it was you, you would also do that and not keep quiet as well.
Is it just me or does any see that this whole DMF project is another marketing plug for a new career/service …😂😂😂. Using dirt and pain that had already happened anyway for benefit. Do you want life coaches that plug for business by shaming others (though some might say it’s mighty bold to share personal hurts but still ..) ?? 🤔 Let me unpack the mom and dad incident. Agreed. The Dad was immature and childish to behave the way he did towards the mum. He didn’t respect and love the woman he chose to marry. Neither did he showed a good example to his children how a loving marriage should be. That’s another story and therapy required for another session. However, I respect the Mum. She did all she could to protect image of the husband, father and what a responsible adult should do. Like what Dan shared, bad stuff happens to good people. But the Mum, took a degree of responsibility. She smiled and said it’s ok to her children because she didn’t want to traumatized her children at what happened. Perhaps it was also a way of protecting her self image at that moment in time. But ultimately she didn’t want her children to be traumatized by what has happened at that moment. She cleaned up because she took responsibility of the mess, regardless if it was her fault or not. That’s maturity. She did all she could at that moment to protect her own and her children. Yes she perhaps shouldn’t have tolerated it. So pls if you keep saying it’s everyone’s first time for being human, husband blah blah, then don’t you think all these shaming and bringing up past hurts, so that makes these individuals good life coaches? DMF as a community for healing and safe harbor? On the contrary, I feel it will be a community of hurt and broken people who may have been set free but without the right perspective, will just create another voice for what course? And knowing that there is an online outlet to DMF, there is no saying what this can spawn into. I feel that certain things shouldn’t be shared via social media not because there is anything to hide but hey, these so call perpetrators aren’t criminal masterminds or villains that the public needs to be wary of. They are normal broken humans that are also trying to “be human”. Sharing the hurts by them put them into more vulnerable positions and only champions these coaches own causes.
I agree with your perspective on the mum, as I grew up with a similar dysfunctional family but my mother did not protect me and instead blamed me for many things. But Sylvia’s point on how the mum taught her the wrong things accidentally still stands. And I don’t feel that she is shaming anyone here, as she has been putting across her story in a very respectful manner when mentioning others, and the focus has been on herself. She did not villainise anyone, and yes any social media content could be taken differently and even negatively. But I feel she is doing the greater good of helping others stuck in similar situations rather than spreading negativity. I felt very heard and supported with her videos, as I wasn’t able to share my experience with many, afraid of negative judgements like this. Narcissistic abuse really takes a toll on the mind and body as it is a very complicated issue that’s hard for many to understand. I myself also wouldn’t even wish it upon my worst enemy. I do agree it is a marketing plug, but I feel that sharing her story is much needed as it provides legitimacy in her coaching. There are therapists who do not have such experiences and understanding, and it can further worsen one’s mental health.
Don’t you think all this talk is only one sided, maybe consider inviting the other party so can hear the truth…….and I still like the talk show with Nina that flows better …
This is her podcast, of course it’s from her POV. Please be reasonable. After everything the ex did, you reckon she should give him a chance to discuss it with him on her own podcast? Also, what makes you think he wants to come on her podcast? lol If he wants to deny anything, he can make his own podcast too, nobody stopping him.
Sylvia. thank you so much for sharing this. you have no idea how much you are helping so many others by validating our feelings/experiences and things that we would never have the courage to face or confront. thank you.
i am also trying to understand how i have grown up to tolerate abusive treatment and a lack of boundaries. im hoping that i will finally be able to embark on this healing journey and escape the cycle.
Big big big hugs! Thank you for seeing courage in me, thank you for being so kind, and thank you for being such an emphatic fellow human being as we grow through the dirty and messy!
The preview is too long lol
I was thinking this too. The preview should hook you within 10 secs. Not minutes long. So exhausting to watch.
@@mysticery@creamiessydney agreed. It felt so bias, one sided and really really long winded.
Ouf, the tea spilled. But it is context to the saga, the inner workings of the crumbled marriage. I mean since Ryan has been publicly speaking about it, it's fair for her to share her story/ experience.
I rly don’t understand the amount of hate that continues on. I genuinely don’t think Sylvia is the one trying to feed on the drama/saga… you guys are. Its quite evident her intent is not to put whoever down, her story focuses on herself and her narrative. Stop the hate and move on la guys.
Sylvia is surely no angel. But she has already paid the price. But the fact that Nicole Liel is still out there walking freely… it disgust me lol. There should be some consequences for her :)
@@dchew4436 i agree with this though, i actually skip the starting highlights.
@@dchew4436 whats the tea on nicole liel 🧐
one of the few sane comments
Subscribed ❤️I love how Sylvia spill out openly all her emotions her past and problems. This channel really voice out a lot of pains some of us couldn’t. And I feel so much listening and also can relate especially to the abusive partner and abusive father. Keep up hope more of videos come out. I cannot wait to listen to u again. 😡
Way to go Sylvia, many many nuggets of wisdom - identifying the root of personal reward from tolerance of a dysfunctional relationship, forgiving someone who’s hurt you, intergenerational trauma. All that good work done working your way back up! I’ve learnt a lot from this sharing too!
I know what you went thru Sylvia. My dad also had issues. And my mom beared with it all. It was their first time being parents as well which i shared during SCA being on the coaching couch. Thank you so much for sharing!
as my dad always crudely says.. everyone’s ass is dirty especially in a broken marriage or rship.. both sides are not clean
My thoughts went: He didn't help shift house because he doesn't like dirt? Well no shit who likes dirt??? My husband hates dirt as well which is why he will do the work to get rid of the dirt without me asking him to. I think maybe Sylvia justified it differently in her mind at the time to protect the relationship but in retrospect I think it was a huge red flag. I'm glad she sees it clearly now that a lot of aspects of her relationship were just warped and not healthy.
Another great episode.
Thank you, Sylvia and Dan, for producing this show.
I have personally been actively practicing self-healing. Although I have emotionally unpacked and understood how my past traumas and learned patterns have shaped who I am today, this video brings even more clarity.
I truly appreciate how these two individuals, skilled with words, convey these emotions. Great work, guys!
Thanks for sharing! So so proud of all of us!
Another great instalment. You're really making a difference by opening up and helping others learn from your experiences. I believe many people will be reminded to check their own blind spots and have a starting point to do an audit on what's going on in their lives and fix it. Thank you Sylvia and Dan.
We appreciate you and your instrospective takeaway! 😍
Dan being here is making Sylvia comfortable & feel supported. Please give him some credit .
Thank you for sending love to Dan, for a first timer, it means so much ❤️
Thank you Sylvia for sharing and I am proud of you to be so strong to move out of this crazy ‘cage’ and ‘shackles’ that your ex partner has put you. You are a strong intelligent woman and you deserve so much more better. You are doing great and please continue doing more of this videos!
You are so very kind, thank you for being here ❤️
@@DirtyMessyFreesylvia, you should know many people see you as a mean girl. You need to change yourself!
@@DirtyMessyFreewhen so many people left you and didn’t take your side, it’s because you are in the wrong. You need to change! Your friends left you!
Good that you leave the toxic relationship, leave the toxic person. You deserve somebody better. Your move prove that woman should empower their life!
Sending our deepest love and support to you, and our fellow women ❤️
This video is super relatable!When you grow and evolve into someone who is wise and has a lot of wisdom it feels like you have awakened a third eye,one that not many people are able to access😎
This is how Ryan is treating his new girlfriend now.
If anyone realized, they have been quarreling about why Ryan always does nothing and is dirty, even his employees said that he always leave all his green tea around the company.
IT IS IN MULTIPLE VIDEOS and recent.
Good luck to the new girl friend
Clever Marketing Strategy - “IT IS IN MULTIPLE VIDEOS and recent” to increase their viewers 😏
that's why he has a helper/maid
Hmm new girlfriend don’t have that support system don’t have brother or father if her father see her being ill treated nvr help her, maybe Slyvia can help support her? 🤔
He's a parasite
Bravo to you Sylvia Chan. Your sharing is awesome n such an inspiration for so many women!! 😊
You are so welcome! 😍
Its their first time being a human being - very precious sentence filled empathy
We appreciate you 🥹🙏🏼
But this shouldn't justify their bad behaviour
Jiayou, Sylvia ❤️🩹 Everytime I watched your YT, my heart aches. Xiaxue was definitely your guardian angel/heroine when the saga broke out. So brave of her. 👏🏻
This video is also a wake up call for women being mistreated, abused unknowingly. We women need to know how to keep ourselves safe, set boundaries etc. 👊🏻
born as a princess, being treated like cinderella and coming back as a QUEEN!
Thanks for sharing this all. I learnt to be more careful what wrong things I might created for my kids
You can do it! We love you already!
Daniel is crying when he heard sylvia mom smile 😢
Could you kindly share how you and your ex-partner entered into your marriage and what the dynamic was like? Was it more of a mutual decision, or did one of you take the lead in pursuing the relationship before the marriage? Additionally, if you don't mind sharing, what led to your decision to marry at such a young age?
This is such a good question, thank you! We will definitely share it one day once we unpack it together with its lessons!
Sent my married friends this video and now they are all getting a divorce 😁 Singles FTW!
Just some thoughts, no matter how many of these masterclass you signed up, your past trauma past bad experiences will never get heal completely. So you have to just reconcile with yourself and the world. focus on yourself and more importantly love yourself. Go out travel alone have a vacation. Do things that scare you. Make plans, keep a busy schedule. And you be able to move forward and out of the woods.
how odd to make a conclusion that one's past trauma and bad experiences won't heal completely. Is it because yours never healed, that is why you think that?
Hi Sylvia, i love your podcast, I can enjoyable listen all the episodes. Once again love you!! ❤️
Thanks for listening! We love you 😍
Love this podcast so much! ❤️
Greay sharing. Everyone needs to listen and learn from this!!!
Glad you enjoyed it! 😍
I have always been Team Sylvia since day 1. I can feel your liberation n I’m so glad u walked out fm the toxic marriage, just like wat I did 14 years ago. U go gurl! ❤
Team survive + thrive!!! 🥰
My friend and I call this the "Guan Ni Ma" syndrome. 自我感动... But so happy your are back in social media!
Thank you Slyvia for sharing your own experience to the whole world and enlighten us there is still hope and self - worth who could resonate this. Believe tat truth sets us free when we embrace it wholeheartedly. The beginning of a new journey is always tough, it will get better as we decide to walk e 1st step with the correct help and support . It is always nv too late to learn and improve on our decision making in life. ❤
Absolutely!! Let's grow through the dirty and messy together ❤️
Dan adds volume to this engagement, which would probably takes a skilled master to do this kind of uplifting build up over such complex and dynamic conversations.
Pple ask "but sylvia is so vulgar, terror and mistreat staff at NOC".......How not to be vulgar and angry when yr hubby treats other women like sweet princesses vs to wife as granted naggy slogging capable being. 😂 Anyway a new life for Sylvia now. Pamper yourself lady, looks good and feel good. Be a high class princess ❤
Yes queen! 🥰
Your comment is illogical
It's quite sad in the last video when the police sorta said she had no friends/ people who she thought were her friends weren't so. Brave of her to share about this. She was hurt in her home life and her outward treatment of people showed it + stress of managing a business. I can relate, it's a lot on the line. Less ego, and more love!
You go girl! Im out of this toxic too. But im also in a better place to love myself first.
Let's only not survive, but thrive together ✨️
❤❤❤❤ can’t wait to watch this in complete wholesome after a good dinner tonight all the way here in the Chicago! Way to go guys! You guys rock with this wonderful union in dirty messy free. Not a young fan but love love this already so very much!!
Awww thank you Catherine! We love you 😍
Well……❤❤❤❤ so much to inhale from this. Cheers to you both for another great episode.
Sylvia is so strong! It takes a lot courage to forgive someone who purposely hurt you❤
Learning everyday! 🫶🏼
EH GUYS, FOR THE FUCKING LOVE OF GOD, STOP HATING ON DAN AND TELLING HIM TO STOP INTERRUPTING SYLVIA. Dan is just responding to Sylvia and acknowledging her by going “mm” “ya” “mm-hmm”.
facts
facts!
facts
Thank you dan and slyvia ❤
Sylvia you are so brave❤ hope you find happiness and love
Loovvveee this episode! I feel that even when the unpacking of anything is starting from within, sometimes we need to be able to step out or have some1 be able to be the 3rd party to give it a different perspective to be able to shift and transform!
Thanks for another awesome episode Sylvia & Dan! ♥
Yay to friends & family who love us enough to pull us out and up 😍
Sylvia, send my love to the brother whom asked you that question! 💕 And thank you so much for this episode! 🥰
- Vel
Our pleasure! Siblings are 😍😍😍
I’ve always had hope for Xiaxue SHE TRULY A GUARDIAN ANGLE
As a fellow Malaysian Im really proud of you being able to stand tall with all those things youve been through. You go girl truly inspirational. If you make a book about yourself I will fully support it.
46:45 I still choose to love, just not those who have hurt me. I admit that we had happy moments, I acknowledge their worth as human beings, but I no longer choose to love them. Then they feel disappointed because of my choice, accusing me of not at least pretending to like them, when being in the same space as them already consumes all of my energy.
There was no love in the beginning; if there was, it broke when you chose to hurt me with suspicion, rumours and attacks; not once, twice but prolonged period. Goodbye and never again.
sometimes when people are abused, they have a tendency to think that it's a good thing, like they have a badge of honor, especially when they have kids, they feel like they're being a hero, but the truth is, it's not good for them and not good for the kids
familarity breeds contempt ... sad but true.
Dan with ALL DUE RESPECT can you PLEASE stop interrupting Sylvia.... 💀💀💀 frfr
ya looking for a monologue?
From his response, I wonder how he can be a life coach??? Sounds intimidating
from what i see, there is nothing wrong. he gave sylvia the time and space to share and remained so respectful yet supportive!
Dan is very excited 😂 We do love an enthusiastic listening ear 🥰
Actually I think it’s quite nice with Dan around. It’s like listening to two really close friends after they had a few drinks, deep and brutally honest conversations. I feel like I’m people watching.
Opening trailer is too long.
it's all our first time being human. let's keep doing better 🖤
Thank you for your loving message 💕
Sylvia you are really glowing 😍 加油 爱自己
🥰💕
I loved this. Truly dirty, messy but so free. Sending so much love
We see you, fellow kind soul on life's journey ✨️
Too many "YES" from Sylvia (since Ep 1, easily 30x to 40x of YES per podcast) ...it just made the podcast feel very much scripted. But thumbs up to Dan in sharing his knowledge and breakdown into bite size info.
Agreed but not really scripted, but more like preaching
“Right!” And “I was like” too. But I focus more on the podcast more and really heartfelt for sylvia.. sometimes i wonder if is due to childhood trauma that causes all these, because I felt the same and acted the same.
There was once i was told that why i allowed my bf to just sit there and do nothing every weekend or other occasion, is he handicapped? And why I also find excuse for him and say “he is like that” and do it myself. Unknowingly we are pleasing our partner a lot, until my friends and family told me off. Not sure why I am acting this? Probably from the influence of my mom, and traumatic childhood ask me to be like this
I am not happy in my 12yrs relationship and trying to find a way to end it. I am mentally exhausted with this narcissist partner of mine. I am very tired to handle everything myself because I tell myself that only I can handle and solve things. I guess I really need to wake up and ask for help now.
I like this smart and high functioning -Slyvia.
Aww thank you, Queen! 😍
Xiaxue is a real friend❤
The greatest life coach is someone who has been through great suffering and pain. Before healing and growth can take place, the negative feelings and thoughts need to be "released" 1st bits by bits. 1 way is to share her bottled feelings and thoughts with someone. And we (the humans who are willing to hear her out no matter how many times she repeated, without attacking her or humiliating her or belittling her, till the day she heals and move on completely) blessed all beings.
I don't think those faults are the kind that will make me give up on a marriage.
Anyway, what I really cannot accept is how so many people ganged up against Sylvia and wanted to land her in serious trouble. And how her ex-partner didn't help her.
one doest have to kill with their own hands. theres manipulation n minds games. some are so good, the people involved do not know whats happening.
@@marvinz911 Who's the manipulative one you are referring to?
I think it was multiple aspects and years of ill treatment, being cheated on and refusal to change that caused the divorce. It’s not always just a few small problems. They accumulate and when it doesn’t improve, better to let go instead of stay in an unhealthy marriage.
as my dad always crudely says.. everyone’s ass is dirty.. both sides are not clean in this entire episode
Way to go Sylvia❤❤ Rooting for your happiness growth success!!!!
Thank you! You too!
I like Dan reactions “interruption” actually!
I think this is good sharing to empower people facing similar situation, there are people that tolerate nonsense from their partner, and i think it should be time those people wake their idea. However, this is going way too extended on the content to hit the purpose of guiding and empowering people of similar experience.
It feels like one is gently playing the victim card for any bad behaviour of the past. Others may had mistreated you very badly in the past, but it does not justify for any bad behaviour you had done to others. You have a choice at any moment to decide how you react and treat others, and not base on how people had treated you or your past experience. If you had decided on a negative behaviour, i think it will be nice to address those negative behaviour too. The whole video series feels like leveraging on this saga to gain something out of it. I think it is alright as an influencer to explain your situation, this feels like too much.
I know nuts about life coaching, but the video series makes me feels like life coaching does things like finding reason to your bad behaviour, justifying your behaviour, and not needing to feel apologetic. I don't think it is like this, just that the video series feels like this.
The paroting got me so annoyed that i cant sit through this video. Like why does he have a comment for every single thing he says. Some comments even longer than the storytelling, borderline irritating
When is she gonna unpack her bad behaviour towards her employees? Aren’t her employees also walking on egg shells around her?
Workplace abuse REPORT TO MOM. NOT low despicable act revenge of posting everywhere as a gang on social media with 1 evil intention - to destroy and bring her down completely.
Hurt ppl hurt ppl .
Sylvia you’re such a strong figure I salute you so much stay positive
Thank you for sending love and support our way, we love you!
Sylvia, ni ai wo ma... I wish we can start at right foot.. Really wish that I could study in JC with U and Ravi and Kirsten.. But they are really negative and hope we can be better than our group friends... We are living in a society...
Thank you for the granular detail on family trauma. This resonates. Agree that after a long time in unhealthy which becomes the norm - it is hard to recognize what is healthy. Agree that frozen is the most internally damaging psychological response when the intuitive response is fight or flight.
Thank you for noticing the essence of our story 😍
Does this come across as self-righteous (in some parts)? Possible to share your true failures in this past relationship and your lesson points? How about the infamous video about your interactions with your ex-employees?
I think a lot of parents sucks…so its important to take control of life as adults so we dont continue disruptive pattern
Noticed Sylvia says “correct” or “right” every few seconds.
Too much yes I’m getting a headache
I not taking sides, but right Sylvia, this is something to think about with the way you interact with Sikkeen. Just food for thought.
Just a feedback - I listen with AirPods on and I feel like the phlegm throat sound that Sylvia makes in between words is so weird to hear
you mean the “mmhm”?
Yes! We have noticed and informed the team! Thanks for taking care to share your feedback in a kind manner 🥰
Another guilt confession, I'm so confused is this like straight up in denial manipulated or its going to end in an apology video at the end. Super confusing, maybe there's any manipulated students here under these coaches could explain
Agree
It's all great stories, but it doesn't hide the fact she mistreated her employees.
We are all born pure and innocent. Beneath the pure and innocent, there could also lie a demon in us. We just need a devil to ignite our demons in us. Anyone under a long term abusive relationship would turn nuts and become the abuser themselves. Not defending for her wrong actions in the past. If she has shown remorse and wishes to repent, we should give her a chance like how we give ex convicts a second chance in life. 🤗
I (Sylvia) owned up to my poor behaviour 3 years ago in 2021 in public. Thank you for being so kind to call my actions out, and I have taken constructive feedback - best way to improve is to work on becoming better, which I do believe I am doing with this podcast 😊🙏🏼
"mistreated" past tensed.
@@MsOoxinjie kinda ironic when you are trying to correct someone. Tensed?
Hmm Some couple are really okay with higher and lower position in a relationship. For Sylvia she is more of hoping to get an equal position in a relationship while Ryan probably wants a high- low position probably he thinks he is the man of the house which is pretty common guy mentality. So that presents a conflict. I think both should have effective communicated the expectations of the relationship that may have saved the relationship.
I am not really into the “Zoom-out friends” rubbish. They are more of a home wrecker imho. If they are really good friends they should keep the couple a couple rather then hey you got all these problems my advise is you go divorce. If my friends got problems with their special half. I would probably advise him/her on ways to save the relationship first before anything else. And only if its in a state where the relationship is too toxic then only then its for them to call it quits.
What kind of man of house lets another man who is a complete stranger help his wife move their own house rather than help his wife himself? Traditional men do the heavy lifting! This was a wimp!
ryan and gang have being smearing her. now her turn to fight back with her YT channel.
she's really not fighting back. haha. she's mostly just sharing her life experiences and help others inspect their own. if the focus was attacking Ryan, the one hour video won't only have one thing about him which is him playing league while the whole world works on shifting his home.
Is this a promotion for upcoming projects?
what gave it away sherlock ?
it's a promotion for her life coaching session duh HAHAHAH
Please check out the ad at the very end of the episode! We are so proud of it 💜
Hi Sylvia, I thought you were the culprit and the cause of this saga, since Ryan and all ppl stand by Ryan's side, portraying the good/innocent side of them that makes you the evil person. So I'm struggling to know what the truth is and who is really speaking the truth. Please tell us all the truth and stories that were supposing manipulated by others.
I wonder if ryan watches these video podcasts. 🤔🤔🤔🤔
Very good insight. Very good podcast. Thanks for sharing. Let’s be strong and walk away from toxic behaviour.
You are so welcome! 😍
This conversation is amazing itself.
Maybe from my opinion to perfect your videos. The transitioning of dialogue between you both. Can be smoothen, you both talk so fast 😂, hear 1 person talk finish 1st maybe? because the topics is very very interesting itself.
Sorry just my 2 cents.
Overall 🎉 Hebat! Congrats!
The best way to make a podcast is to look for a yes-man to validate everything you say
So now when i recall their divorce clip, where they both tell the world of their decision, her partner was SUCH A FAKE.
What's with the thumbs downs? tf?
Dan should like Sylvia speak more and interject less.
Actually what’s the point of digging up the past and badmouthing the ex-husband in a series of podcast? In a failed marriage, both parties have some fault in one way or another.
I can understand if you release 1 video to talk about what happened to you over the past 2 years and as a way to reconnect with your viewers, before moving on to other topics. But no, it had to go on to 3 episodes and more.
I think it’s quite distasteful to still harp on the past and bring down the others even after all these years.
It will reflect better on you if you continue a series of podcasts talking about other topics of interests, be it motivating others, recent trends etc (somewhat like TheThirstySisters that I loved).
You may not be able to relate to her story, but I can personally tell you that her story has helped me and many other women who have been in a similar position feel heard and supported. She’s not doing any harm by sharing her story, so don’t shame her just because it’s not what you would do. You are entitled to your opinions, as is she.
Everyone else is enjoying the tea. U can watch sth else if u dont like this
@yapkk 😂 not doing any harm? If u r the ex-husband how would u feel seeing not just 1 but 3 podcast talking shit about you?
@@xuele94 if sharing her experience can do harm (especially if it's the truth), i think it says more her ex-husband than her don't you think? i'm glad you care about her ex-husband tho lol
@@xuele94her ex husband also make fun/ make comments about her as well. So why can’t she share her side?
Pls luv yourself more and stop finding excuses for the ppl that u luv.
I did not understand why the brother asked this question when he was also brought up in an abusive environment. If he was brought up watching his mother get abused all the time, he should think that that is normal. So how did this boy who grew up watching his father do this to his mother be a softee and a gentle boy even after all the toxic environment that he grew up in? He should think that this is all normal for him.
Your ex partner is also a young boy growing up. Both are too young and did not work out cos both impatient. And too much of abusive language used on each other. Both will grow from here and hopefully, not make the same mistakes.
not sure if airing your family drama on youtube is wise...
Sylvia ‘Yes/Ya’ counter this episode - 738
Yes 🤣
Knn intro 2 mins long 💀
After listening to this podcast there is only one major takeaway:
'Cause, baby, now we got bad blood
You know it used to be mad love
So take a look what you've done
'Cause, baby, now we got bad blood, hey
Now we got problems
And I don't think we can solve them
You made a really deep cut
And, baby, now we got bad blood, hey
❤
My friend hired a helper to do the dirty chores, they're still happily married.
So maybe it's the "brother's" fault?
Instead of finding fault (no one is perfect), maybe can find how to resolve this unbalanced thought?
A person’s action or lack of speaks volumes of a person’s character.
A narc will always calls his/her other half a narc. I am not convinced about your initial purpose for doing these podcasts. It seems like you want to clear your name and victimise yourself.
I hope you have found your peace and probably you are able to get out of it, and communicate better with your future partner ❤
Wow such a passive aggressive comment. “Victimise yourself”? I didn’t know telling one’s truth and experience is victimising one’s self. Please don’t gaslight those who have courage to come out and tell their hurtful experience and very personal stories. Instead, let’s support and encourage people to get out of toxic relationships, be it in marriage, friendships or family.
She should have the right to clear her name any way since she has so many police case file against her. So why not clear her name when she is innocent under the law. If it was you, you would also do that and not keep quiet as well.
Oi, what nonsense is this??? Only 2mins in and I’m fucking tearing??? 😂😅
- Vel
How nonsense. You wanted to protect Ryan. But all you did was saying bad things about him 😂😂😂
❤
💪🏻
Is it just me or does any see that this whole DMF project is another marketing plug for a new career/service …😂😂😂. Using dirt and pain that had already happened anyway for benefit.
Do you want life coaches that plug for business by shaming others (though some might say it’s mighty bold to share personal hurts but still ..) ?? 🤔
Let me unpack the mom and dad incident. Agreed. The Dad was immature and childish to behave the way he did towards the mum. He didn’t respect and love the woman he chose to marry. Neither did he showed a good example to his children how a loving marriage should be. That’s another story and therapy required for another session.
However, I respect the Mum. She did all she could to protect image of the husband, father and what a responsible adult should do.
Like what Dan shared, bad stuff happens to good people. But the Mum, took a degree of responsibility. She smiled and said it’s ok to her children because she didn’t want to traumatized her children at what happened. Perhaps it was also a way of protecting her self image at that moment in time. But ultimately she didn’t want her children to be traumatized by what has happened at that moment. She cleaned up because she took responsibility of the mess, regardless if it was her fault or not. That’s maturity. She did all she could at that moment to protect her own and her children. Yes she perhaps shouldn’t have tolerated it.
So pls if you keep saying it’s everyone’s first time for being human, husband blah blah, then don’t you think all these shaming and bringing up past hurts, so that makes these individuals good life coaches?
DMF as a community for healing and safe harbor? On the contrary, I feel it will be a community of hurt and broken people who may have been set free but without the right perspective, will just create another voice for what course? And knowing that there is an online outlet to DMF, there is no saying what this can spawn into.
I feel that certain things shouldn’t be shared via social media not because there is anything to hide but hey, these so call perpetrators aren’t criminal masterminds or villains that the public needs to be wary of. They are normal broken humans that are also trying to “be human”. Sharing the hurts by them put them into more vulnerable positions and only champions these coaches own causes.
Well said.
I agree with your perspective on the mum, as I grew up with a similar dysfunctional family but my mother did not protect me and instead blamed me for many things. But Sylvia’s point on how the mum taught her the wrong things accidentally still stands.
And I don’t feel that she is shaming anyone here, as she has been putting across her story in a very respectful manner when mentioning others, and the focus has been on herself. She did not villainise anyone, and yes any social media content could be taken differently and even negatively. But I feel she is doing the greater good of helping others stuck in similar situations rather than spreading negativity. I felt very heard and supported with her videos, as I wasn’t able to share my experience with many, afraid of negative judgements like this.
Narcissistic abuse really takes a toll on the mind and body as it is a very complicated issue that’s hard for many to understand. I myself also wouldn’t even wish it upon my worst enemy. I do agree it is a marketing plug, but I feel that sharing her story is much needed as it provides legitimacy in her coaching. There are therapists who do not have such experiences and understanding, and it can further worsen one’s mental health.
imo sylvia is an alpha female. she wouldnt do well with a typical strong dude.
Don’t you think all this talk is only one sided, maybe consider inviting the other party so can hear the truth…….and I still like the talk show with Nina that flows better …
This is her podcast, of course it’s from her POV. Please be reasonable. After everything the ex did, you reckon she should give him a chance to discuss it with him on her own podcast? Also, what makes you think he wants to come on her podcast? lol If he wants to deny anything, he can make his own podcast too, nobody stopping him.
Just saying 😊 and it shows😮
Ryan also shared his side, so why
wouldn’t you say his side is one sided? Or he should invite Sylvia over so can hear the truth?
Can speak normally? Lol