The NEW Jehovah's Witness Convention KEEPS GETTING WORSE
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- Опубликовано: 24 июн 2024
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ABOUT ME: I’m a former Jehovah’s Witness who faded away from the religion around 3 years ago. The purpose of this channel is to provide concise, up to date information on the Jehovah’s Witness religion, along with humorous commentary aiding those who have left or are leaving the faith. I am a big proponent of religious freedom and critical thinking, and invite my audience to be kind, open minded, and always stay curious.
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Thank you SOOO much for leading/guiding me OUT of that absolute hell hole of a fucking CULT!
Congratulations for getting out! 🎉
@notthatmathguy - P L E A S E do an interview w/ExJWPanda and share your story! :)
@@garyr.8116 If we somehow get the main panda human to approve then sure thing pal😂
🎉🎉🎉
@@notthatmathguy1859 I wote YES for making that that interview
So glad I don't have to get my family to a convention anymore. Walk forever in this southern heat in a suit and sit there all day. 🤮
THAT PART !!
Omg I had to do parking as a teenager… in the middle of the summer in South Carolina. Sheesh.
@@GreatValueLando I feel for ya. That sucks. I would've had heat stroke before the first song played. I sweat so quick. Crazy they have y'all doing that. Apparently JW's don't know how to park their car?
Add scratching your beard - if you have one 😅
omg yes!
They used that very soon garbage on me when I was 19 years old. I am now 78. I imagine that there are nineteen year olds now being told that same very-soon garbage who will reach my same age.
I know this is fictional. But the fact that he just finished re-wiring/installing the light fixture & the wife was able to turn the light switch on meant that he never turned the electricity off before working on it. So freaking scary 😱
Meh, only 120. He'd just get tingly elbows, lol. But no, you are right.
😂😂😂😂 and these are bethalites working in the script
I’m a licensed master electrician and we work with electricity live all the time, especially when troubleshooting. You need the power on to troubleshoot typically. It’s not a big deal if you know what you’re doing. If you wear shockproof steel toe boots, your ladder is usually fibreglass which insulates you and if you don’t touch one of the other wires at the same time you’re OK. You just can’t have a path of electricity go through you. If you do get a little poke, it’s usually very minor.
You have to do is just turn the switch off. But there’s been plenty of times when I thought the power is off and it’s on, but because I follow certain strict procedures with hooking lights up, I almost never get a shock. Me my crew put up thousands of lights along with all the other Electrical and I might only get a poke once a year
Once you’ve been in the industry long time, you realize that It’s actually pretty easy to stay safe.
@@CdnPIMO wow. I had no idea. I’m a nurse and I’ve seen wayyyy too many patients from accidental injuries that became fatalities. So to me I would never risk it. But obviously I have no idea what I’m doing even if I tried.
And he’s totally unfamiliar with the circuit breaker switch … 🤣
As a Christian, I’m so sorry there are people like this out there.
1. It’s ok to be gay
2. You can’t shove your religion in other peoples faces
3. Some people will not agree with your beliefs. And THAT IS VALID!
WAKE UP CHRISTIANS! Jesus did not teach us to hate
Thank you, we need more people like you in this world, God bless you 🙏
Amen brother, amen
We need more christians like you
Thanks
- a queer christian
Genuine question from an atheist here…Don’t Christians do missionary work too?
At 17, they put me up in a bunch of these stupid conventions. Just speaking an example of how I refuse to go to worldly people's priorities. Smiling on the inside the entire time knowing that this is obviously bullshit and I was cool enough to go to people's parties. God damn, the games we had to play.
In the Bible, Jesus went to many parties, and the Cult of Jehovah pretends it never happened.
@@miuki2721i guess you both are from different countries 😮
it was all a game. i let it run my life til age 32.
I went to every party I had the opportunity to go to 😬😬😬 and had F U N
@@miuki2721 And he brought the WINE!! 😁 🍷
Panda drops an almost 50 minute video on the day I commute into work and my trip home is 50 minutes long. Thanks to mighty sky daddy Jehoover for making this happen. Haha.
Praise to Jehoover
Jehoover‼️🗣️🗣️🔥
Jehoover 🗣🙏
I get second-hand embarrassment when I remember 🤦 I used to believe this bs.
My 0-7 year old self didn't know much about the world and thought everyone knew this and was in the religion😭😭🙏
@@BillyLipsNumber1Fan At that time I thought everyone was Catholic 😅 Luckily my best friend at ten, his family was Lutheran. And the church we were going to when I was little was Methodist (thought it was just a different kind of Catholic Church which….) But yeah then my sister was Bible-based NonDemonitional etc and then as a teenager and young adult I learned there was SO many forms of Christianity and other religions all around the world…And now I’m realizing how the whole thing doesn’t make sense and breaking my religous conditioning… It’s so freeing! And funny to think about some of the things I thought and believed about these things when I was younger…
I’m with you
"Don't look for a career in this world" - Thanks for making sure I was below the poverty line for most of my life, it was always brothers that were already engineers or something giving talks like this. Makes my blood boil.
I feel your pain !! Groomed to be IGNORANT & POOR, why? Because “The End is right around the corner”.
THIS
Same here. Never could quite get over that poverty line myself. My mom told me the "new system" would be here before I graduated high school. I graduated in 1986 and my mom is dead.😢
It’s crazy how much personality they loose once they turn into jws
I stopped reading fiction...and started reading the bible 🤣🤣🤣
“Corporate wants you to find the difference between these two photos”
😂 I know right 🤮 Pure comedy gold.
I thought that you said you stopped reading fiction, yet you started reading the buybull?! 😂!
I laughed so hard!!
Yeah, that got a good laugh out of me, too 😆😆
They went from actually helping the community at food bank to acting out MLM tactics using the Bible.
Yeah, I thought thet'd be JW, and then show flashbacks to their decadent, destructive lifestlyes. Instead they were successful home owners (of a realistic property instead of the usual mansions most shows use), with a variety of hobbies, and friends. Likely they had a good education, meaning that Watchtower now has someone else's hard work to manipulate, and their kids will never get a chance for all this...
I cringed as soon as he (Kenneth) started talking. That fake cheerful/formal voice is so annoying 😭
Man, they could at least act like they are happy
Yep when my mom was dating my stepdad, their five combined kids were aged 15 to 18. And they needed a chaperone at 40 years old😂😂😂😂😊
I lost at 3:25 when he talked to those women like they were infants. I was waiting for him to give them a cookie and say "good girl!" after they answered.
Good lord. I read your comment before I got that far in the video and I thought how bad could that be? The answer is yes.
Lmao
Growing up, in the Kingdom Hall we attended, women were not to speak unless allowed by a man. Women and children held the same place within the Kingdom Hall.
How does anyone take these men seriously when they talk to the people like kindergarteners?
Of course this cult advocates not reading books, and a babysitter on dates for adults.
If it's really good news, wouldn't you be able to say it whenever?
Dont JWs have a holy book.
SO THEY ARE DUSCOURAGING READING THEIR OWN DEFINETLY HOLY BOOK!!!
@frogonaka505gamers4 Ready to Harvest did say that reading is discouraged for the JWs. Though I think reading any book critical of the JWs or anything that goes against their theology would count as forbidden things. This may also include reading the Orthodox Study Bible I bought recently or if some are extremely strict, this may include some animw drawing books I'm planning on buying
The way JW men speak freaks me out sooo much. The weirdest cadence and tone I’ve ever heard and they all do it! BAAAAHHHAHH
its really...gay sounding? not to be mean
@@ghammer2048 homophobic gays you mean
My cringe moment: when I realized that after becoming JWs, this (formerly happy) young married couple would have to stop doing mouth stuff and butt stuff. 😮
Are JWs even allowed to hit it from behind? Cowgirl? Or are they only allowed to do missionary?
God hates that.
I was in relationship with Jewish JW girl, which was nymphomaniac and she hates herself about it and suffer. She left me because " I wish to be a JW but not a sinner like you!"
(I'm syncretic Fenno-Ugorian paganist)
@@alexisindovinella1600
How is she Jewish and a JW? Is that even allowed?
@@nablamakabama488 she was Jewish by blood and religion but her mother became JW when that girl was 12
I’ve worked in the corporate world in sales adjacent roles and the parallels of JW strategy to sales cycles are absolutely astounding. They low key wrote the masterclass on overcoming objections 🤦🏾♀️😩
The most unrealistic way a young married couple can be indoctrinated 😂😂
Especially when not even Watchtower knew how to show that their life was actually crap without Jehover and the "HOLY work".
Had a really bad day, so I'm eager to sit on down and watch some more prime goofy stuff!
And the fact that they all have to refer to speech or notes constantly 😂.
It's wild how creative and fulfilling the hipsters couple is before they become boring JW's.
They always fantasize about converting people that wouldn’t even look at them in real life
They were perfectly happy. Why did they feel a need to join a high control religion ? ?
These dramatizations are so over the top ridiculous 🤣🤣
My cringe moment was initiated at 1:09. I can't believe people are so duped by these frauds.
I was about to cringe but then you inserted that scene from A Clockwork Orange! Please keep doing stuff like this. Its the only way i can stomach JW stuff, even on exJW vids.
Fr. 😅
"he learned how to make TENTS with his HANDS" as opposed to what his feet? the emphasis was SO funny omg
HOW DID HE GET RID OF HIS HUMONGOUS EAR HOLES? I mean I did that and he bottoms of my ears looked like two weird anuses lol.
Notice that at the start, when he had gages, they were solid discs with no center hole. IOW they were fake stick-ons.
But you are right: if this was real, he’d have big dangling flesh loops. 😂
Right? I know that you can get reparative surgery on your ear lobes if you don’t want gauges anymore, but something tells me me that JW’s wouldn’t be super down for cosmetic surgery 😅
@@panickedshears I think you'd still have some marks visible after such surgery
@@marshaemetsainen you would, they definitely fade quite a bit after a few years, but you would have marks.
I live in SoCal: If you only knew how many JW women go down to Tijuana for cosmetic surgery 🤣🤣🤣
Can I ask a question? If Jesus and the angels are with them when they "preach", where are they when young ones are being molested WITHIN the organization, and when a witness couple was shot while sitting in a car out in service?? Did Jesus wink and miss that? Or was he distracted by conversing with the angels? This is so unrealistic and phony.
Ikr like my mom says she knows someone who unfortunately went through that when younger, but now they're still in the religion?? Like I don't remember what my mom told me but I literally don't get this
Great point. Similar to JWs a lot of Christians claim to have guardian angels and have gods protection. Where was the protection during the many church shootings, bombings, and other related incidents?
The olympic levels of mental gymnastics that come after I ask these questions to believers are insane…
jesus must have been taking a huge dump (on those jws) 😂…
Just saying.
These are the kinds of questions that made me deconstruct everything, not just JW. It's pretty insulting too when someone says, "Don't let a bad organization (JW) or bad men(GB, elders, etc,) ruin your faith. They didn't Sharon. My own logical thinking did. Then they dodge the question and begin the mental gymnastics.
I cringed right from the beginning. And that they are still against higher education. Unreal.
Because knwledge is the enemy of belief.
And yet they secretly seek to recruit those with specialized skills and education to serve their needs (for free) at headquarters.
Watching this on my lunch break is a blessing from the Watchtower 🤩 🐑 baaa
I cringed at the “good news” catchphrase. The worldwide church of god cult also uses that.
And not one from either cult can tell what is the "good news" of the kingdom. 😮
I first cringed when she giggled , tickled pink, as hubby worked on plumbing under the sink. There’s a good dirty joke in there somewhere 😅😅😅😅😅! 11:46
@@mattmurdock2868eh Christian don’t use those terms
The acting in the hipsters section of this video is pretty accurate of what can be seen in real life at any meeting/convention/field service; bland & lacking any depth. Thank you Panda for another great video.
It’s funny cuz I’ve seen younger Jdubs who try to be all cool and hipster like while also being Jdubs 🤣
22:51 prisoner kept isolated would jump on the chance to talk with any religious peddler. Prisoners are considered a protected class because little things can become major bribes.
A circuit overseer once said (from the platform) that the angels are in the cars with all JWs - until they go over the speed limit. Then, the angels fly off and you're on your own. I'm not even kidding.
lost at 00:00 (title has "Jehovah's Witness")
I cringed at the actress’s haircut. Whoever cut those bangs had a personal vendetta. 🤣
You know he was doing well 'progressing' when he lost the ear plugs...good boy. This is so freaking cringe! I'm sorry, this drama is so hard to watch!
And necklace 🤣
Wake up babe new JW convention to react to with Panda Tower
Ayooo got on the exact moment this was uploaded. I felt a disturbance in the force lol
As a "worldly person" I can't get over how they make us look🤣🤣😭
As someone in the religion with "worldly" friends, I can say that they rlly stretch how they make them seem... Like there is bad people in the world but also bad people literally anywhere, js bc someone isn't in ur religion doesn't mean that they're automatically bad😭😭
Yeah same
I grew up mormon, and since leaving and becoming one of those " worldly " persons, it kinda discusts me how I was taught to view people outside the church. Any time my parents come out to visit, I am reminded just how much judgment they have against anyone outside the church. Can't even let them know I drink coffee or alchohol now a few times a week, as I know they would think I am a bad person for doing so. The constant backhanded remarks about how my wife isn't dressed appropriately get pretty old ( how dare she wear a tank top on a hike in 90 degree weather!) I know I shouldn't care, but childhood programming runs deep.
@exjwpandatower I was playing this at work just now after my apprentices had left for the day, and then there was the part where she said “instead of reading nonfiction books I read the Bible “
And then you said “what’s the difference” and that made my day. I literally burst out laughing with that one. Good job, bro.
Actually, you had a number of good quips in the video. I love what you do with the videos. Keep up the great work.
I cringed at 19:10. I HATED going in the ministry. It felt so forced and cringey and gross. This brought back way too many memories of those feelings for me
Holy fucking shit this propaganda machine is insane!
The angel flapping his wings was the worst cringe
Flaps😉
Having grown up Mormon and served a Mormon mission, so much of this applies to me too.
Wasn't there one assembly in recent years where they went through the whole rigmarole of the baptism talk, only for there to have been zero candidates that day?
Last time I start a conversation, it ended well enough because now I’m engaged to that man😂
idk what timestamp. but i've been cringing a lot so far watching it. jw's fascinate me so much cause of how much they misunderstand their own book. im so glad i was raised non denominational and not a jw. this shit is way worse. also i never got the whole thing about trying to convert everyone or "something bad will happen" to them. it's just a gross cultic mindset to fear monger children and young adults. also as an amateur angelologist. i'm really upset that people often misunderstand what angels look like or are. while there are human-like angels (the Ishim), i really don't think they'd be pale skinned considering the era they originate from. you expect me to believe an Ishim that supposedly exists before all of us is a white man.
12:25 I cringed here, there's just no way someone who looking for his spirituality inside would ever be convince by JWs who looks for "spirituality" in the organization...
So wait don't they tell us to meditate on scriptures but we can't meditate with ourselves. Make it make sense
😂😂OMG - "It literally is a task you check off the list" - awesome!
The chaperone thing didn't just happen in the 1950s, even ij the 1800s unmarried couples were required a chaperone
0:55. didn't think I would do it, but being hit with "What was your favorite scene" like this is star wars theory talking about his fanfilm, honestly just brought me to a state of disbelief.
Never understood the point of the SAME BORING interviews.. SAME shit different cast. They are always on REPEAT. Who would leave for 3 days in summer for this mess?
4:05 and 4:10 (what's the difference) had me rolling lmao 🤣
Watch in real time as this formally happy couple joins a cult and has the actual joy sucked out of them
Panda's one liners are my favorite part of each of his episodes. They're perfectly timed and fierce. 😂
If they really believe the end is so near then way are they building the video studios and other building prodjects that wont be done until 2026 and later ?
Stop asking questions just consume product and get excited for next product! Watchtower does the thinking for you and watchtower says don’t question all the multi million dollar building projects but be sure to give them your money and volunteer for free! Don’t look at the kingdom hall you built for free with your time and money we just sold to another religion or a smoke shop!
Nooooo!!! Panda said the question/line that shall never be ask/mentioned!!!(it can’t get any worse)
4:45 Not the 1950s, but the 1850s 😂
Cringed at 1:11 at the myriad of old white men "angels".
A JW started talking to me in the grocery store, and I said: "oh, you don't know? Yahweh is a Canaanite volcano and storm deity from a polytheistic pantheon. We know this now." After a blank look, I put my hand on his shoulder and said: "I'm so sorry." Then left. Hopefully that plants a seed he will actually follow up on, because the ACTUAL SCHOLARSHIP is clear. Yahweh was plagiarized, then changed as needed while Aberhamic devotees grifted their way through history.
And there is no grifter worse than Paul, aka SAUL THE GRIFTER. Well, maybe Mohammed was a worse grifter, but I suspect he had other issues that were beyond his control. His decrees scream OCD, as he was OBSESSED WITH certain numbers and rituals. I've dealt with debilitating OCD my whole life, I know what it looks like. I can't imagine life without medication and DBT.
I’m taking notes.
I love when I go on RUclips and learn that Satan is just Saturn.
Dispelling entire lifetime of rumors that I as a redhead am the devil. ❤😂
I suspect someone watched a certian Jew with a series on YWHE fomr esoterica! Also Mohammed was way worse. Not only a bloodthirsty war mongering murderer but a child R too. At least Saul spent the rest of his life contemplating his actions when he took part in that one killing of Stephen. No excuse, but Ill let Mohammed take the cake on the biggest grifter in the world.
I used to think Christianity was bs until I experienced a supernatural evil entity
21:40 Malcom X grandson.........Malcom Y
And great grandson Malcom Zzzz 😴
If those are hipsters I'm Jesus christ.... ffs
ex jws, I need help. i am 14, and my mother is having Bible study with our small local congregation every Monday and Wednesday. She keeps trying to get me to attend a service or Bible study, but I don't want to. what do I do? my mom is the most worldly person I know, I really don't want her doing this. she said her granny always used to close the door when the JWs were out in service. she thinks it's because her granny feared their power. i think she just hated them because the propaganda. the ladies my mom studies with are really sweet, I just hope they unindoctrinate themselves. what do I do??? I'm going to a Bible study on Tuesday, they said there's another kid my age. what do I do? how do I fit in?
My best advice. Quite simply. Just don’t go.
Tell your mom to see the Australia Royal Commission JW CSA cases.
Also, if you wanna be more of a religious Christians or simply study Christianity for fun, do so. You can use this knowledge and teachings of the Church Fathers to refute whatever crazy cult doctrines the JWs have and explain why no mainstream Christian Denomination takes them seriously
@@PoyonepJW isn’t Christian though they’re Unitarian Araic
@@AllUKLuv that's true. JWs have doctrines that none of the early Christians held and doctrines that aren't even supported Biblically. The Bible doesn't forbid blood transfusions
I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M THIS EARLY
Wanna point out that the thing with the Septuagint and Hebrew bible is a bit more complicated. As I understand, scholars consider Septuagint usage of word "virgin" more accurate than the Masoretic "young woman", so the author of Matthew didn't make much of a mistake with it
I've passed previous "cringe" challenges, until now. This one hit different. 😮
Myself are a christian, but jw's hears like a weird, twisted version of all other christian religions
That's exactly what it is. The biggest tragedy about that shit is it turns people off of religion altogether. It's not real Christianity but victims rarely see shit rationally. I'm ex Mormon and I see the same thing with most people leaving that goofyass cult too.
@@georgerafa5041 I am myself a protestant so not completely cult but still, every religion is a cult to some degree
I'm so glad that my parents are regular Christians
@@Slurp_Co.Protestant is JW 2.0
@@IrisFox97yuh but realistically there’s no difference between Protestant and JW the true Christian are the Orthodox and Catholic
Is the governing body taking horse riding lessons for when they will ride down from heaven to destroy me and billions? Maybe now and arrow or sword wielding lessons?
Hey man, you are by far the best ex JW channel ever. Humorous, engaging, but actually you got something to say. I'm very anti religious, but the way so many ex JW channel would present themselves just was not appealing to me.
I'm 21 and hoping to outearn my parents in a few years to finally live my life finally. I came out to my dad as transgender, and I knew he'd never kick me out of anywhere (I also don't live with him anyway), but I just remember him saying shit like "y'know yeah there's many people at the Kingdom Hall who wouldn't even want to interact with you" and damn dad it's like you're kinda wrong cause if I was curious, they'd be throwing Awake magazines and JW buttons at me like ironically Christmas.
If Jesus was on earth currently I'm sure he'd agree that it's better for me to finally want to look at myself in the mirror for the first time instead of crying and being eternally frustrated with my appearance. Seriously. Also had to read that 1960s Bible story book every night at aged 5.
At age 5, I saw that last Jesus image of his face looking like all his life is drained away as his hands profusely bleed. At age 5 I thought in my head, "shoot, I can't even comprehend the pain of a nail going through one hand into another and left there to bleed and starve." Aged 5!!!!
Thanks for the good news my man Jehovah please like why is this in a kid's book gimme Chika Chika Boom Boom instead!!!
Believe it or not does a good job
Darth mogg too
But the best is modified skeptic.
I LOVE your editing 😂❤❤❤❤
The concept of a Jehovah's Witness couple studying the Book of Revelation of all biblical books just scares me.
My favorite kingdom song? "Army of large women"! Especially getting trampled trying to get a few seats on opening stadium doors.
30:13, I just lost the challenge. Massive cringe!
Thank you for making these videos. I have a grear aunt and cousin who were converted when I was younger, and I haven't seen them once since. I learn so much from your videos!
At my Anglican Church we were told that if we did not evangelise, we would go to hell. As an introvert who got bullied at school, I was terrified.
Years passed, a different person told the congregation you would still go to heaven, “but it won’t be as good.”
What the f? So much for “truth” and for all the existential fears I had throughout my childhood AND adult life.
so preaching for them is the act of trespassing
Great video! Thank You, Cheers 🥂
8:44 NOOOOO!! don’t fall for their BS
The hipsters in the dramatization look insufferable, they did a great job making them look realistic.
"The Governing Body" being among the top 10 donors (48:30) is just the peak of trolling 💀💀💀
great analysis. right on!
Isaiah was spoking about a virgin giving birth in the original text. After all it wouldn't be much of a sign if a young woman would give birth to a child.
The puddle!!! I cringed at the puddle! 😂😂😂😂
The Mormon church sucks, but at least they have the "if you go to college you'll have more money to give to the church" thing figured out. Like, do JWs not want a STEM PhD giving them 10% of their $100,000 a year income? Meanwhile the Mormon church highly encourages getting well-paying degrees (There are so many dentists in Utah, my god) because they know that they're going to get more tithes from a dentist than a carpenter. They even have their own school so they can keep people indoctrinated while preparing them to be a better income stream. Say what you will about the Mormon leadership, but at least they're practical.
I was a great chaperone to my sister. I'd tell her ahead of time: "You can kiss him if u want. I won't look." Lol😂 ... but she never did. She'd say, "No! I'm not gonna do that!!" And I'd roll my eyes 🙄
Here we go again with the "almah" nonsense. Just like with some modern languages, it means both "virgin" and "young woman" (think of English "maiden"). The same applies to Greek "parthenos", like the virgin (that is unmarried) goddesses Diana or Athena, who were referred to as "parthenoi" in Greek.
Jesus... I got interviewed at conventions too, Sophia keep reading [ academic literature] and get the hell out of there.
So if the JW’s want to convert everyone, and they don’t want people to go to college, who do they think are going to be the engineers, architects, etc?
The girl in the baptism interview.. if they ever make a remake of Little House on the prairie she's in!!! 😂😂😂😂 This is so staged.. she'd rather be clubbing with her friends.
The baptism announcement with the two questions have me, cringe and literally yell at my phone
It’s the fake gauges that he’s wearing and takes out for me
When the speaker speaks around the 40 minute mark, he uses the phrase "human being" and if you go to the jw library and type in "being" there was a question from readers in 1958 where they said that only Jehovah is a "being" and humans are only creatures but I have seen where Watchtower has used the phrase "human beings" in their literature in later years.
my only natural encounter with a dog as a preaching kid (12) was with its teeth:(((
Why are all of these JW movies so cringy?
If you read biblical descriptions of angels you'd be terrified of the monster.
Just atended the second day of the special convencion in Prague and there is David Splane and the first thing he said when he started talking about women was that they absolutely need to learn to cook and talked about it for like 5 mins and advised teen boys to become elders as young as 23 y.o. also poor translator he was so mean to him. Btv 71 people under 18 years old were babtized
To see this video I had to get through an advertisement for the LDS church.