Hi Danielle Kirsty I only jusfound ur channel about a week ago so I been binge watching all ur crime story as I love them I was wondering u u could cover the zodiac killer that’s one story I don’t no much about hope u and ur family are well keep up good content love and hugs from me and my daughter in West Midlands uk stay healthy stay happy xx
hi! i highly doubt you will ever see this! but i do have a case i would love for you to cover! my family has a close connection with this case and i could give you a lot of the information i know about the case! the case is of the Murder Barry Whitton! he murdered his first wife Michelle Townsand which was my grandmothers best friend and got away with it for quite a long time! he also murdered his second wife kimberly whitton and stepdaughter Haleigh cullwell! my mother worked and was friends with kimberly! Kim and her daughter are still missing to this day and there has been no trace of them and the case has went cold! he is currently in jail for his first wife’s murder! i would love and really appreciate if you could cover this case and help get more attention on the case! i will help anyway i can with your research on the case! i recently listed to a podcast that covered the case that i could send you! it did stir up a lot of people around here! i think you could help give a more positive look into the case then the people in the podcast did! i did try to message you on instagram but you could not receive my message! but if you could cover this case you can reach out to me through instagram @__hxll.boi__ thank you!
PLEASE Danielle make a video about the WIFE SWAP controversy!! I'm obsessed by these formats (the nanny one, the wedding etc) and I would love to know more about the dark side. I mean... someone took his own life because of it?? I never knew.
Omg Danielle I'm in ❤️ with those earrings where did you get obviously in UK do they have a website I can buy as I'm in Australia still hanging for a case on the terrible backpack serial killer in Australia his name is the disgusting IVAN MILLAT cheers luv ❤️ you and Daisy you tell the best crime stories better than anyone even Bailey Sarian she's good but your way better you have a beautiful soul and I think that's what makes you soooo good as you really do care about the poor victims and their family and friends you have a huge 💙 ❤️ 😉
anyone else find it really weird that the mom was so controlling in not letting her kids have any outside communication- and then literally stuck her kids on a famous tv show for her personal benefit.
The fact that Kathy kept such strict rules for the children’s whole upbringing just to be willing to expose them to what she deemed unacceptable for 20k shows it was never about “protecting” the kids for her but just control
The fact that they told wife swap how their family lived and based on what they said the family manual is written, I'm almost certain that their family was more extreme than what was portrayed in the Wife Swap episode. Especially since Kathy was proud of how she was portrayed. The boys breaking down over the thought of having normal human connections and worrying about burning in hell just screams abuse to me.
The fact ghat the boys were SCARED of being “punished” after even trying the new rules made it clear to me that the parents were actually abusive-nit just restrictive. Kids don’t react like that to just verbal abuse. idk which parent beat them but together those kids definitely got beat! I absolutely recognize that fear from my brother and our childhood.
I get that people abuse what they learn from the Bible; But this is what unbelievers or the confused believers would think. Because they dont understand whos in control of all worldly things ,and the warnings that the word gives about bad communications corrupts good habits, or that two can't usually walk together less they agree, and more,they are wisdoms from YAHUAH not suggestions. Normally this is for the benefit of believers because the world is in the control of satan.
I have lived a worldly lifestyle enjoying sins,but they dont always leave you filling satified that's why people become drunks,drug abusers, etc... living the way a worldly person suggests leads to discontent and more carnal pleasures and away from a holy spiritual life nit doing YAHUAH s will but your own, that's how satan wants you to live because he knows it leads to the lake of fire 🔥 this world is a house on fire,but many people refuse to acknowledge that its on fire. This family should have stayed away from being on tv, that's how satan brought ruin to rhis family,by bringing in exposure, money, and rebellion towards parents,and YAHUAH.
Your mom is literally right. Beuse generally speaking, strict families with fathers tend to be far better at successful children. 98% of prison inmates are raised by permissive single moms.
@@lauriedavis400 you realize this has been studied, yeah? video games tend to amp up competitive drives _temporarily_ and have basically no long term effect on behavior like this.
Don't believe everything about these reality shows. They are faked. Did you not hear Danielle tell us how faked they were. Who knows if those that were crying were real or scripted. I don't think this had anything to do with the wife swap video. I think that Jacob was mentally ill as soon as he was born. But something set him off, and it is a tragedy that he murdered his mom and his little brother. Rest in Peace to Kathy and James.
It's not that. I was raised similarly and remember bursting into tears when my parents finally gave me the sex talk (I was around 15) because I felt that they had kept such information away from me to protect me, and once I learned about the outside world I would inevitably fall to sin and damnation. I was kept in the dark for so long, the idea of anything outside of it was terrifying
@@audreymarsh1827 Just out of curiosity, was it the constant talk of sinning that made you burst into tears ? so the fear of doing something wrong ? or the thought that your parents were no longer protecting/shielding you by giving you this information/freedom ?
@@PazuzuM666The show actually sought them out in attempt to find the most opposite (super strict) family possible for the episode. Mom was a controlling hypocrite though, who used Facebook to promote the family band and exhibit much thirst in promoting her episode on Wife Swap. She knew all the lies the show required and went along with it. So pious and righteous. Real Salt of the earth, that woman. 🙄 Dad deserves his kudos (blame), also. He knew everything and was absolutely fine with it. He was probably glad the boys took so much of her time. He could have been having an affair or eating pizza, nuggets, ice cream, etc while he was so busy "working" for all anyone knows.
As someone who grew up in a home that was as strict as the Stockdale house, and was homeschooled, and had pretty much all those same rules: no tv, no worldly music, no internet except Wikipedia for school reports. No worldly friends. Often our food was strictly controlled. The chores had to be done ***perfectly***. This lifestyle is not necessarily a “recipe for murderous children” but I can certainly tell you it doesn’t make for great parent/child relationships.
@@roleatunless friends treat you better than family. Sometimes family can be abusive and doesn't perform their responsibilities of properly caring for the children.
@@roleat Not necessarily.. If the family is this toxic, there is absolutely NO need to stay and have a contact. You and your health is what always comes first! :)
Must be a shock to the system when your just pushed out the nest into the big wide world with no real sense of what it is like out there... How to navigate situations on your own... The struggle with your inner morality of what you have been taught is the right way to live and then the reality with which you have been plonked into must feel extremely daunting 😕 how does one even navigate that change?!
As someone who was raised in a strict Mormon household, this hit home. I experienced so many similar things that never even crossed my mind as being messed up or extreme until Danielle described them as such
One of my previous coworkers came from a similar religious upbringing, she said "I never realized how weird I was until I started working with normal people" ...We all told her we didn't think she was weird, just had more stuff to discover.
Normal? Or worldly? Hmmm. There is nothing wrong with being productive and a team in the home. Laying around the house, what does that really do for anyone. There is work that needs done, be a part of it. Clean living is good, control freak is wrong.
Also if you are raised this way. You do not know anything differently and honestly think it is just the way things are. Until you become an Adult and live on your own, do you notice others were not raised the same as you.
I am reminded of that African proverb “The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth”. The sheer control Kathy has done to these kids is nothing more than shocking and terrible. Having too much control on your kids can result in stunted development and behavioral problems down the road. And yes, I get it, they want make sure their kids do not develop any negative influences that might negatively affect them but the part of growing up and maturing is making mistakes of your own and learning from them and becoming a better person down the road.
This parenting style is called authoritarian. Children subjected to this parenting style tend to be well behaved, but often unhappy. Never being given the opportunity to make their own choices, these children grow up without a sense of self of individuality. Hence the reason Jacob took his own life. The poor kid probably never felt like he had a say in anything, even in adulthood. These types of parents tend to interfere in their children’s lives forever, not just when they’re kids.
Exactly that’s the backwards thinking of a narcissist, they will turn everything into something they can control and they forget half there rules don’t really even make sense. But that’s the thing kids don’t know any better :(
Yeah same!! She was enjoying promoting the band & setting up web sites.. She loved being in control! Punished 4 not finishing Ur meal & being late to the table..too bad if they were stuck on the toilet .
I was pregnant at 14. I didn't allow my daughters to do certain things, like sleepovers, for that very reason. I knew how it was and I knew how I bent the rules to do what I wanted to do. So my experience as a teen is EXACTLY why I was stricter on my own kids. My girls are 26 and 21 now, and I'm not a grandma yet. Even though everyone said I was a bad influence and my daughters would be stuck in a "cycle."
My parents were actually invited to be apart of this show when i was young. Im always glad they didnt do it and so are they. It was supposed to be two families whose parents were djs swapping, my family did weddings and corporate events, they did clubs and bars. My parents said no bc they thought it could be confusing and traumatizing to us kids bc of how young we were and they didnt feel comfortable with the idea of someone else coming in and controlling us. They said they never regretted it despite the money they offered! This show is just a nightmare even just in the idea of it...
I was homeschooled with very conservative families around me - my family was also conservative but I was considered a "bad girl" because I wore makeup, listened to rap and rock, etc. I knew families that were almost as strict as the Stockdale's. Some of the kids adjusted to the real world, but some just couldn't. It was like they were brainwashed and stayed in their bubble for as long as possible. The kids would either cut off their whole family, or stay exactly the same. Things never turned out the way the parent's wanted. It's not surprising to me that one of them would snap.
They say you can only abuse a dog so much before it turns on you... The same goes for humans. There isn't too much of a difference between prison and the household he grew up in. Just more hostility around him from other inmates.
And sadly, most bad people or inmates say they prefer jail/prison or that its not as bad as they make it out to be. They have a system, much like what Jacobs mom had. A token system per say. The better you behave, the more privilege's and freedom you earn. Jacob probably enjoys it more in prison then he ever did in his real home.
Unfortunately even in prison he can get TV and tablets and video games. He really has a better life there then he ever did at home. This is such a sad story for the kids.
My ex husband comes from a family like this. He has so much rage built up inside . It was insane. He was a pro at having two lives and two personalities. Terrible and tragic 😥
I am so sorry you had to deal with this. I can somewhat relate with my ex bf in a way. He would be so nice and non-judgemental, wouldn’t force anything on me when away from his parents, but when it’s just him but when around his parents he would judge me and care more about how his parents felt and tried to force religion on me. So yeah my ex had basically two personalities too.
I was raised by a very controlling "mother" I can tell you, being raised to fear "burning in hell" if you broke the rules, which one of the boys mentioned while crying about his parents seeing the episode, and that they would be ashamed of him. Shame,guilt and fear are all manipulation tools. I can guarantee you these boys are suffering from C-PTSD
I was beaten right out of my adoption home after 10 years and the fathers police friends assisted the family when I was 16 years old and covered it all up for them
@@romeowandrainbow1040Maybe his brother was the golden child and not so innocent 🤔 The golden child tends to be a also a narcissist like the abuser. That's why this abusers preferes them, because they see the golden child more as the extention of themselves. The other children are seen as the enemy- scapegoats- the bad ones, while the golden boy can do no wrong, no matter how mean he is to the other siblings.
Seeing those kids so afraid to do normal things is so sad. It's no wonder Jacob snapped, he was probably terrified of everything and resented his parents as he got older. Doesn't excuse what he did, but it might be a possible explaination.
Could it be that everyone was moving on and he was staying in he abusive house he grew up in? I really don't understand the mom...the dad is terrible as well. Poor boys.
As a child I would play with one of the amish girls at her house when we would take our horse to get shoed because the only people my mom trusted to do it were the Amish family we bought her from. We would make dolls (literally sew dolls and dresses for them, I still have one of my dolls from back then), play outside, make stick houses out of twigs we found, and she taught me how to change her little sister's diaper (I think we were 7, I'm now 33). I can easily say that even the Amish community isn't as strict as this lady or at least not that one, we were from town so I would be playing with this little girl in a dress her mom made for her and there I was in my blue jeans and they still let me play with their kids even though I was an outsider
That's beautiful and that encourages me... Esp because the Christian way of life is always being targeted. Extremism is never the way for anyone to live and God didn't create us to be controlled. He gave us our own will for a reason.
Amish people can do some farriery, but I wouldn’t go as far to say they’re the only ones you should trust. You actually probably should trust them the least and don’t buy horses from them. Just to anyone reading this comment and considering it. English farriers actually have to do schooling and mentorship to become a farrier, hoof anatomy is nothing to play with.
@@Asp47999 never said they were the only ones I trust, it was my mom who had this weird thing about taking our horse there because that's where she got the horse from. They were very good at what they did though so maybe we just got lucky and had a group who had been doing it for generations and they just knew how to do it well. We never had any problems that I knew of with them but we stopped going to them because the drive was too much and my mom's boyfriend at the time found someone closer and I think cheaper Oh and I agree with you about not buying horses from them, ours was the most ill tempered horse I've ever seen, they do not handle them to be around people well or at least the people we got ours from didn't
@@Hagar-yn8jmthe Christian way isn’t being targeted unless you believe that things like physical, mental, emotional and sexual abuse are fundamental to a Christian upbringing
It's obvious that Jacob had a lot of resentment towards his mother (the controlling, the sheltering life-style, and her putting them on a show for money) since she was killed in her bathroom so she was his first target and probably James found out and in panic (maybe) and a fight he ended up shooting his brother to quiet him down but then he regrets it and decided to take his life(in which he was unsuccessful). I also think he called 911 because he didn't want his brother to die and for the ambulance to get to him but he couldn't say anything (because how could he flat out confess to murdering his mother and brother). It's really tragic.
That’s exactly what I thought what had happened… Unfortunately he couldn’t / didn’t leave the house like his elder brothers before the tragedy happened… He’s damaged
Strictness is about control, aggression, and abuse. Imagine making a child out of love and then treating them like a soldier or an intern in your family corporation. Disgusting.
@@uhlspetznazNo, they're right. This form of parenting has been proven time and time again to be unhealthy. The best form of parenting is called authoritative (overly strict is authoritarian, not having rules for parenting is called indulgent). Authoritative parents have rules and boundaries, but know life can sometimes happen and that those rules can be bent in those circumstances (e.g. car troubles makes your kid late getting home, you don't get upset at them for that and understand it was something outside their control). It's being protective, but not overly protective. It's being a reasonable parent that places rules to follow that are not too over the top controlling. If you need an example of what that looks like, here's what all three different types would do: • Authoritarian: you have to study everytime I see you so you can get good grades on your test. If you don't, you're grounded and you don't get dinner until your grades improve. I'm in charge, you will listen to me no matter what. • Indulgent: You don't need to study if you don't want to, and grades mean nothing! Go have fun, I'm a friend, not a parent. • Authoritative: You need to study in order to get good grades. If you don't do well, we're going to sit down and figure out what went wrong and how to better correct this. If I know you really tried your best, and I can see you actively putting in a lot of effort to your schooling, I'm proud of you for that regardless of the grade. It just means we might need to get a tutor or ask for outside help. I'm your parent, I'm here to make sure you're okay.
Kathy: we have to be self sufficient and do things for ourselves! Also Kathy: *enslaves her own children to run the farm for her* This was a powder keg waiting to go off and the parents are 100% to blame. Poor kids.
It's awfully hard to be self-sufficient when you have zero knowledge of how the world works. I don't understand people who think they are "protecting" their kids by shutting the world out of their view. How is that kid going to function as an adult when he never got to learn how to interact with new people? Or how to cope when he encounters something he finds morally lacking? For god's sake, if you want to protect your kids, then educate them. Knowledge is power!
Many parents do that and claim it’s for the kiddos best interest. I was criticized by a very strict religious mother because I let my son eat at Hooters and on his 18th BD party we let him drink at his party at home. Wasn’t allowed to drive or leave if intoxicated. She thought I was horrible. So her son who was punished for eating at Hooters, under no circumstance allowed a beer was ultimately kicked out of college because all he did was party once he got away from her. My son finished college and became a youth minister. The friend went into the military to learn discipline. Thankfully both are now married with children. Kids need some freedom. This story is so sad. Reminds of my sons old friend.
If this was a recipe for disaster, how do you explain menonite and Amish communities? The children are treated even more strictly, but they aren't violent. My explanation is that ramspringer allows them the choice to leave and never come back. No need to futz up a family. Just walk away.
@@cassandrareedy7369 The Amish have a whole community. They have friends and neighbors with similar lifestyles and values. They don't have the isolation these kids had, I think that makes a difference
@@cassandrareedy7369 there’s a lot of violence that happens from some of the adults and minors. I lived up north for a while and my community complained all the time about the drunk Amish teenagers (males) trying to start fights in front of stores. Also, purposely trying run people off the road with their horse and buggy. Not all but there is so much abuse revolving around them too. My neighbor took in 3 girls who ran away and was afraid to go to the police for fear of being returned. Not all but alot
It rarely seems to turn out well in households that parent this way. It's just so sad to me when kids are controlled through fear and shame using religion and when they're manipulated to fear the rest of the world and other perspectives.
Right... like, how do you expect your children to become independent and make decisions for themselves when you control literally everything. I can imagine being raised this way would lead to being completely overwhelmed, confused, probably terrified once they are expected to transition into adulthood. What a debilitating burden to bear.
My step son is currently living in a manipulative household and there’s nothing we can do about it. It’s so disheartening to watch and no government body will step in.
@@e_i_e_i_bro I hadn't even thought of that point, but it's so true and so sad. Those kids were terrified of their parents and the imaginary consequences they'd created for doing normal, human things. It's really just heart breaking.
I find it hard to believe that the surviving family members have no idea why Jacob did this. I feel they are just being private and would never reveal any information that may ruin the family image.
Jacob's complete absolute silence in his own defense strongly indicates sexual abuse occurred. He likely viewed the murder of his brother as a loving act of mercy.
It's insane to me that people homeschool to isolate their children. I homeschool because life in school was miserable for them. We love going out into the world playing with friends and during the week when kids are in school we get to do all the fun stuff that kids normally only get to do on weekends. We have made getting an education fun and they get to socialize way more now than they ever.
Homeschooling didn't teach kids to change their sex, how to grab themselves or someone else or doing drugs. I can understand Kathy to a point. As for dating...if you have kids... you don't like the idea of hookups... hopefully.
I think some people see it as minimizing the amount of bad influences their kids would be introduced to. Honestly I understand it. I was homeschooled up to highschool and I didn't like it. It was lonely, and then I went to a charter school and I liked it but I was also I produced to some bad things that i would let have been introduced to homeschooling. So I get it. Then I worked in the school system and see a LOT of concerning behavior from children due to bad parenting and teachers who step out of line and indoctrinate kids with their personal views and opinions. so I totally get it. When I have children I plan to home school them as well.
seeing the kids feeling upset and scared about being able to do every day things that other kids do is really just heartbreaking, this is a really sad one tbh, i hope no kids now have to deal with this type of strictness.
My kids were like this. Fortunately, they got away from the isolation (more like imprisonment) when they were 4 and 8. The stories we read and heard about when they entered the system were mind blowing. That kind of stress doesn't go away in a hurry either. Even the most kid-ish of kid things are scary to them, like jumping off the swing, or trying the monkey bars... We push them really hard to engage in kid behaviors that they missed out on when with their bio family, and they're doing extremely well! We're really proud of them, because they are working so hard to learn and heal. It is truly sad to see them get so overwhelmed by things that we consider normal, even though they've been in the real world for almost 5 years.
It still happens. I taught at a Christian school for 10 years and still remember a 13 year old girl crying because her classmates put on a Disney animated movie. She wasn't allowed to watch it because her parents told her that Disney puts subliminal messages into cartoons to corrupt children. All the other kids were trying to explain to her that it's OK to watch Disney movies but she was becoming hysterical, crying and repeating "I'M NOT ALLOWED!!"
I seriously think he simply snapped. One day out of nowhere. He wasn't in control of his brain at that moment, a brain that had been controlled every second of his whole life. The mother created this and is solely to blame. Poor James, he is the real victim may he rest in peace. (Beautifully covered case by Danielle, as always 👏)
@@ThereMakeBeSnakes You may have noticed he's mostly absent bc he's working; but one could clame he's guilty in letting it happen, and for being passive (and who knows if he really was completely ok with what was going on.. ). Not defending him, just saying he's not the one directly responsible, IMO.
@@oOzephyrOo Only Jacob is guilty, he was an adult who made his own choices in the end, however my point is both parents are directly responsible for how their children are raised regardless of whether they have jobs or not.
I speak of this from experience. Sometimes when a person has the rigid upbringing that the boys endured, it can be very stressful when that rigidity is no longer there. They can become "lost" in an effort to adjust to a world they know nothing about. In me, this resulted in several mental illnesses. I am now 69 and I still have difficulty living around other people and am basicly a recluse. I am not unhappy and I'm content with my life. I pray for others like me.
I grew up this way..my step dad made us start his religion..Pentecostal..and people would describe them as extreme. We went to church 4 times a week, we never missed, and we had to be covered from neck to feet with no skin showing, unless we were home but it wasn't much less there. You weren't allowed to cut your hair, wear jewelry, makeup, and we could only socialize at church. School was the worst we were already made fun of for the way we dressed but then my stepdad decided we should show humbleness and be a light to the world to not be materialistic..so we were made to wear our clothes 2 days in a row and we had to wear these blue leggings that made us look like the smurfs..so needless to say it made school life worse after this..they believe in strict and physical punishment the more the better so we were beaten at least once a day just because it was good for us and they were just showing us they love us 😂 I will forever laugh at the fact that beating us within an inch of our lives was showing love🤣 but I'm a very strong woman and they taught me what not to do..they broke me almost but I'm so thankful I got the courage to stand up and left at fifteen and I've taken care of myself since. I also have an amazing family with 3 wonderful beautiful kids so I know I may have a few issues from how we were raised but I've never let it make me a victim and I broke that vicious circle with my children🫶🏼🫶🏼
I’m so proud of you. You broke the cycle and are reaping the bounty of blessings and love that come from that. I too have a similar story. I did everything with my kids that my parents didn’t. We have a beautiful life and we love and respect each other. Again, you have done something so amazing. Many blessings
❤️🩹wow that is a lot. I don’t understand why people have kids just to treat them poorly🥺 I hope you have healed since then. My mum is narcissist, I cut her off a year or more ago after I realised my whole childhood was a lie. I think it’s so upsetting that kids go through this everyday all over the world people like this should be in prison. My partners parents are the same. I’m glad people like us are here to break the cycle though, ❤im teaching my daughter to love and be kind and I could never imagine putting her though what I went through. Parents should protect not cause all the damage!
You were a victim and no one should be feel ashamed for being put in that position, ever. I believe you when you say you are a strong woman but i promise you that has more to do with your journey that with the abuse you were submitted to. Abuse break people's spirit it doesn't make them stronger. Abuse make victims
It's honestly terrifying to hear about how scared the children were at the very thought of watching tv or having the option to CHOSE things without the parents's input, or feeling guilty for enjoying things! They actually feared going to hell for these things! My heart breaks for them! And then this awful awful tragedy happened... I feel so terrible for the Stockdale children.
@MW-cw9yi same, I feel guilty for even just relaxing or enjoying a TV show. I got a nose piercing bc I love them and it took me over a year to truly not feel guilty about it, like I was committing some mortal sin. Healing from a childhood like that takes so long. 🥲
Growing up I was taught so many crazy things being in a cultish religious church. I actually believed gay people, Buddhists, anyone with statues in their front yard, people who read harry potter, and especially people who were liberal were going to hell and I even thought about how great it was they would go there. Now I am a buddhist with lots of statues in my yard, my family loves harry potter and im quite liberal. Great job mom!
I grew up in a similar situation. I wasn't allowed T.V. very often, video games didn't exist, and I wasn't allowed to play with other children. My dad was a fanatical Jehovah's Witness, 2 hours of church twice a week and pounding on people's doors for hours every weekend. Homeschooling was my private hell. Dad would force me to do schoolwork for 12-18 hours a day without meals. The isolation hid the fact he was raping me regularly. I ran away at 12 and refused all attempts by CPS to reunite me with my family. When I got sick of CPS I ran away, riding semis all over the U.S.. What secrets was the Stockdale family hiding? It had to be something so awful for the young man to kill over.
Sometimes much less abusive situations can lead to terrible outcomes as well. They don't have to be hiding such dark secrets, although they could be. I'm so sorry that happened to you and I appreciate your honesty and proud of you for doing what you had to do to survive.
This is like when your friend wants to tell you a really detailed story, but you gotta go to the club in an hour, so shes gonna tell you while getting ready
I was raised by a mom like this so I can actually understand why someone could snap so many years later. I’m 57 and still have horrible nightmares and deep anxiety about going outside and being around people. There have been times throughout my life where I would become that angry at my mother that I felt capable of ending her. Luckily we didn’t live near each other so I rarely saw her after turning 18 but when I did see her or even when she just called I would feel like I was having a heart attack from the anxiety. I finally had to cut all ties just to get well emotionally. So looking at it through the lens of my own experience I can see it being tied back to his childhood experiences with her. I’m not sure why he would kill his brother though, unless he got in the way or something.
Lol this is basically my family life growing up… except we were waaaaay too poor to eat that healthy. Other than that I literally resonated with almost everything. The insanity that comes out of homes like this is tragic. If you are considering raising your kids in anyway like this… please reconsider! Every family I know that was like mine was full of abuse, neglect, hurt, and misery. It’s not healthy!
My mother was quite over protective and we were only allowed to watch old shows and listen to oldies music. I think it caused me to be a little socially awkward, but at least we weren't hidden away from the world and we were allowed to be kids. But there was no abuse, and when we became teenagers restrictions were lessened. Kathy's extreme sheltering of her sons does not prepare them for life as an adult.
Yep. Too strict and your kids get all pent up and angry. Too permissive and your kids get disrespectful and angry. I really with I knew thebright balance.
@@blahblahblah4544 it's definitely difficult. The only thing I can say is to think of yourself as raising future adults. What behaviors do you believe would help your children be good adults? Then start trying to cultivate them young . Another balance comes with discipline
@@lisapop5219 For me, healthy adults ask questions before assuming and reacting to things so that's what I try to do and teach. So when my kids act up, I come in and be like "What happened? Why are you crying? " Then I make the kids tell me what happened in their eyes. Then I ask them what they should do. My cute 3 year old today was like "um be nice?" "How do you be nice?" "I don't know :(" "Well let me help you." If I had the time I would sit there and ask more questions but there's no time for that. It's difficult because I wasn't taught these things growing up :( I make it known that mommy and daddy are learning too. We are all learning. So let's work together to learn. It's all I can do. Usually parents pendulum swings opposite ways they were raised. I'm trying not to do that, so that's why I watched messed up stories like this. :| It's great advice to pay attention to how adults should act and do that. I'm Christian so I incorporate that stuff too.
@blah blahblah for some reason I don't see this when I click on reply. My husband & I wanted to take the good things that we had & reject almost everything else that we grew up with. At every stage, we had to adjust. We didn't want to recreate or push our kids to recreate our parents choices (both single teen moms). It is a delicate balance. They are 26 & 23, completely on their own at 18 & 20. I think we did OK. They still like us even though we don't agree on everything. No grandkids yet.
Exactly. My parents weren't perfect (no parents are) but they raised us to be responsible while also letting us have fun and be normal kids. It's all about finding a happy medium.
When you've grown up in what is essentially a prison, freedom can feel oppressive and anxiety-inducing. When you've always been told what to do and how to think, you're not equipped to handle the stress of making choices, of discerning the intentions of strangers, and pathfinding through the minefield of disinformation. I doubt these kids knew anything about mental health, and the thought of seeking help probably felt shameful. When you've had a childhood where you're told to man up, to not let anything get you you, to push back the tears, and to not complain about anything, I'm not entirely surprised to hear about one of the kids losing it entirely. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't know why he did it, regardless of the brain injury.
I don't know if anyone got a similar vibe, but when you were describing how the family was living in one location, then moved to somewhere else that was very isolated, the kids were kept away from other kids, heavily restricted to only doing house/farm-work, extremely devout, not allowed to have friends, etc., I got Ed Gein vibes. If you look at both upbringings, they're both kinda similar. And both clearly ended badly
Emeshment with the mother has produced a few nasty killers 🥴 she could have seemed like a loving parent, but theres such a thing as too much togetherness
I remember that episode well. I watched wifeswap religiously! 😄 The saddest thing is, Jacob will have more freedom in prison than he had within that family. Cathy was nothing more than a controlling, narcissistic personality. I feel so sad for her children. How awful.
@@smellsfishy5187 he's the one that just snapped. They could of also killed her too and snapped but they didn't. They also have trauma too but apparently Jacob js snapped and got fed up.
@@smellsfishy5187This is a stupid worldview. We are not clones of each other. Everyone is a unique person. So sad, that so many are this outworldly. It seems there grew uo more people on a sheltered farm than one can imagine. My goodness...
Oh, I thought you were gonna call it a cult, but ok... still, watching the complete opposite types of family that were in this episode, I think that to a certain degree, they needed to swap some of the rules. One had no structure at all, the other had too much, so much that it was basically abuse, as you said. But then again, the other family was abusive in its own way, cause sex, drugs and rock 'n roll, isn't exactly what one might call good parenting. Now, in my country, we have reality shows too, and some of them are taken from US shows, be it as a mere concept, or just the entire thing. We too had the show, but it was called "Schimb de mame", meaning "Mom swap". And given that it was aired on a tv channel that was less popular, they didn't have as many funds to fudge it up and make it as fake as described in this video. Also, the other reality shows, especially the ones with celebs in them, you can tell when the acting kicks in, and when the drama is enforced, for the sake of the drama.
Can you recall any names or situations? I’ve tried a lot of searching but the only other case I could find was a pub owner from the UK who committed suicide dues to his business failing during the pandemic.
@@NotRedRobynmakes me wonder if they took their lives because of wife swap or they took their lives and just so happen to be on wife swap, if anyone actually took their lives but yea I can’t find anything either. I just did a quick search but I expected it to show right up. I’ll search more when this video is done.
Last I've heard the father is trying to appeal to the courts, to get Jacob a lesser sentence. He says he doesn't blame him and wants him to come home for him and his brothers forgive and love him. So Dad must have known how bad it was growing up with Kathy to be able to forgive and show such mercy. It doesn't excuse his involvement though and neither of them deserved to die.
Forgiveness is a Christian value of Supreme importance. Forgiving someone in no way means that Kathy's behavior was the cause of Jacob's choice to take two family members' lives and now needs his remaining family's forgiveness. Forgiveness by his father and brothers is their faithfulness to live the values of their faith. Since when do we blame victims for someone's evil choices. There's no evidence that Kathy abused her sons or that her son's felt abused. While I can't live the life that Kathy chose, I applaud her courage in going against the tidal wave of modern living. I'm afraid that reaching the conclusions that you and others are reaching is based on personal bias and not on any evidence of abuse.
@@rebalspirit Reading this comment was absolutely wild. The things that Kathy was doing was abusive. She was a controlling narcissist and it's no wonder growing up like this that someone snapped. But whatever. Religious people will always find an excuse.
Can you imagine thinking the childhood friendships your child could form are "meaningless"? You can't expect to produce well-rounded children if they aren't allowed to do anything.
We saw these guys in concert and they seemed so fun and energetic on stage. We bought a few of their CDs. Whenever I come across them, I get sad. I feel bad for those boys growing up in that abusive home life. Just sad all around.
It was probably the only time they could express themselves and have fun. I was in a fundamentalist cult, and involvement in music kept me from devastating depression.
I just want you to know that I really admire you. I’m so happy for you and your success over the years. You always put the victims first, even when you dissect a murderer’s back story and their troubles. You also help me forget for a moment about my life struggles and pain. I appreciate you, and I hope you are also taking care of yourself with plenty of self care after these heavy cases. You deserve the peace of mind in between your research. I wish the best for you and I’ll always be rooting for you 🎉 Thank you for everything you do. You make a positive difference in people’s lives.
I am a resident of Stark county just outside of Bolivar and we always referred to the Stockdale farm property as a “compound” - I can confirm their family was even worse than portrayed on TV and the tragedy of 2017 was upsetting to us all but was not a shocking event.
When home feels like a prison as children become teens nearing adulthood sometimes EXTREME MEASURES are taken becuz they feel there is no leaving/escaping this prison without a SERIOUS JAILBREAK I think it's no coincidence this famines name is STOCKDALE aka STOCKDALE syndrome
We had a family like that that lived a couple houses down. They were super religious and the wife looked like a 19th century puritan. They wouldn't ever talk to anybody in the neighborhood and were very reclusive. It was a pretty small town so you'd always see your neighbors at the grocery store or whatever. Never saw any of these people in town, ever. Long story short, they ended up making national news for murdering one of their adopted children. After the story broke, it was revealed that the children were being heavily abused. The little girl died from hypothermia with bruises all over her body. Apparently, they disciplined her by beating her and then forced her to sleep outside without any clothing on, which led to the hypothermia. Pretty sad.
Then again, maybe not. There are so many suspect utube families. They record their children with no regard for what their preference will be when they grow up. So selfish.
It’s so incredibly sad that James got wrapped up in all of this. I have a really good feeling that he wasn’t an initial or intentional target, and the whole thing breaks my heart. Especially when the episode aired, and we watched those boys cry about the changes, worrying about eternal damnation at those ages is absolutely wild.
I don't know,obviously. None of us do. One thing that stood out to me is how happy James seems to be in most of the videos. Maybe he was resented because he was more the child his mother tried to mold them into ,while Jacob just couldn't be that perfect child..Jacob has long hair at one point in their videos, which shows a rebellious streak and what we have seen about the mother ,I'm sure she criticized him for that. Maybe she compared them,pointing out how much of a disappointment Jacob was . Maybe he just resented him simply because of that.And when he snapped his brother was there ,unfortunately. I would say the mom was the main target,though.
@@pale_saint, one is worrying about the very real, very imminent existential crisis that 99.99% of related experts agree is GOING TO cause the deaths of millions and render densely populated parts of the Earth uninhabitable. The other is worrying about being sent to a Hell that isn't even described in the Bible because you go against your reactionary parents' interpretation of a Bronze Age myth that's been reinterpreted and re-translated countless times by people seeking to control others.
Jacob was 25 and still at home, so that was a choice. I would maybe say a possible failure to launch. I'm not buying into his love for farming and being happy to live in a strict environment at his age.
I had a student who was in German wife swap a decade ago and that was really, really awful for the kids. They had their real names mentioned on tv altough the kids were just between 5 and 12 years at the time. I think that was really bad for the kids.
Not to mention with social media and people rediscovering these shows for a multitude of reasons..they probably every couple of years get people rewatching and looking them up. I’ve seen tiktok updates on some from the us wife swap and the show has to be 10+ years old.
Ah Wife Swap, my personal teenage sobering. 😂 Any time I found my dramatic, emotional self thinking my parents were the worst for...parenting, here comes that gem of a show. This one was tough, all around.
I was raised similarly. Homeschooled, wasn't allowed to play with other children or to go outside, tv, music and books were monitored and had to be approved. Very religious, went to church four times a week and the people I associated with had to be approved. I didn't go anywhere without a parent/adult, even if it was to the mail box. Not allowed to eat anything that chewed its cud, and we didn't eat out often. 3 hour devotion each day and I had a bed time until I was 17. My god, this story is giving me PTSD.
I grew up in a similar household of 4 girls (I'm the oldest), but not quite as strict; We were "allowed" to socialize with other kids our age who were also in our sunday school class and in our homeschooling group. I remember this family being the talk all over our homeschool group as like "The Goal Family" to achieve to be. And thankfully, after high-school I was able to get out of that lifestyle and haven't looked back. I've left the church as well, but for a laundry list of reasons, some of which are cause of the cult-like dynamic you typically see. I don't know anyone I grew up qith all those years ago who have a remotely healthy relationship with their parents growing up this way or similar.
I am so sorry you had to grow through that, I'm glad that you got out and I hope you have more good luck in your life to replace that bad luck you were clearly given at birth! Stay strong!
@@sarahsmith8875 it's definitely been better since I've gotten away from that kind of lifestyle. I still do have a relationship with my parents, but it's by no means how it "should" be. If that makes sense. I feel closer to my mother in law than I do to my bio mom. My dad has come a long way, but there are still things we definitely have different points of views on. Thank you for your kind words 💜
I am so glad that you are happier! Those words may be kind, but they are the truth. Just remember that you are never alone. Even in your darkest, try to see the light.
When you said that it would be about a reality show, I had an inkling that this might be the case. Whilst I know the story already, I look forward to your retelling of it!
"super religious strict family" or "cult"? same thing to me, in personal experience. "Super religious strict family" is used to hide the fact that its a very small cult.
i’m studying for my exam in less than 10 hours and i needed a break SO THANK YOU DANIELLE , please wish me luck, super stressed !! ❤️ EDIT: Thank you all for wishing me a good luck , you are all literally angels 👼🏼❤️!! I PASSED MY EXAM , i’m now officially a registered nurse i got my license and i’m so happy and i appreciate all the love from these comments and especially DANIELLE i literally love her and love our community ❤️❤️. MUCH LOVE .
Perhaps Jacob only wanted to kill Kathy, but James witnessed the murder and Jacob panicked and killed him too. What a terrible tragedy. No one should live in such strict family. I understand rules and wanting to teach kids some crucial values, but never to a point of depriving them of any sort of fun, entertainment and human connections.
If the family was as strict as was portrayed, it's possible that Jacob just couldn't handle the freedom that he now had. I've met some kids while at college who were from really strict families who just fell apart when they got to college. It's hard for people to go from an environment of strict regulation to freedom, we hear examples of this amongst prisoners who had been in prison for decades suddenly getting paroled. They just don't know how to deal with the freedom.
This show never sat right with me, it exposed a lot of families, but nothing ever came from it. Once the show was over, that was it, nothing changed. A family in my hometown was on this show, they swapped with a strict family that homeschooled their kids, and they moved around a lot, so the kids couldn’t make or keep friends. During the swap, the kids attended my school, and one was in my class. They were so excited, got to play on the soccer team, which they always wanted to do, but couldn’t because of the constant moving, and they also made a lot of friends, myself including. I remember that they wanted to stay in one place and attend school after the show, but their parents said no and continued on the way they were before the show. The kids were so upset that they were in tears, which of course they filmed…it was actually really sad to see first hand, I still think about them from time to time. But yes, they only filmed for a week, and they did provide them with a fake house, which I went to, and it was all staged. They cut out a lot of stuff out as well, the majority of it was indeed scripted, but the emotions were definitely real, which I feel that they exploited.
I keep thinking that it might’ve been the show that was the motive, in the sense that maybe Jacob hated that his mom wouldn’t let the show promotion rest even all those years later. James seems as though he probably laughed the episode off. But since Jacob lived the closest to the perspective of the family on the show-farming and the family band, maybe the wife swap episode felt like a personal attack to him. Danielle did say that the other people that went on wife swap were adversely affected in their real lives, and the experience you mentioned above sounds just as ripe with emotional turmoil. All of these reality shows have left victims in their wake and the perpetrators with their coffers full.
I remember this case and the episode well and I felt so bad for those boys. When he started crying about the date I just knew how brainwashed they truly were. Chores is one thing, but no tv or games or friends is just cruel. Kathy was something else. I would not have been able to live like that. Still a very sad story.
No TV or video games is fine. No friends, no games or entertainment of *any* sort is the problem. I grew up without TV on purpose and without video games because we couldn't afford them. But Mom almost always had the radio on, since that's free. We still had board and card games and "pretend." We were basically turned loose on the library once a week. And how the heck does someone live without ice cream?
A family where I’m from went on Wifeswap. They had a business and the kids would come to school and talk about how the producers would make them get up super early to do hours of work before they even came to school and then made them do tons of work after school and they couldn’t/didn’t go to their after school activities during filming. It was wild.
Two examples of extremes in parenting: you just never know when some day a kid is going to snap or be suffering from mental health unless we try to communicate with them as much as possible
One of my best friends growing up was in a very similar bluegrass family band. The problem was everyone had a different idea of how long this family band would last. When one left to go to college all hell broke lose. That brother was completely ostracized and shamed - and when he tried to talk to the parents about letting go of the other kids and letting them have lives - everyone reacted poorly. Then my friend fell in love and got engaged - the family still expected her to travel with the band up until the very day she got married. Not allowing any time to plan her wedding or spend time with her fiancé. They went on a singing reality show and were offered a contract - when she wouldn't sign because she didn't want to tour with her family when she was married - again all hell broke loose. They are incredibly fractured now - some not speaking to each other. When your intertwined like that - your money, your career, your dreams, dependent on your siblings/children....woof it never ends well.
Just started the video, it was uploaded 7 minutes ago and there are already 1700+ views. I've watched your channel grow and your humble joy and gratitude towards your viewers. Look at you go Danielle!!! 🥳 🎉 🪅 You're doing it! 🤩😘💃
IMO, Jacob's whole identity was the Stockdale band he had nothing outside of that still living at home. Seems he was losing that with James in College and having a gf my guess is James may have announced he's leaving the home, and possibly the band Jacob would have been more than devastated and had resentment towards his mother who programmed him 15yrs old when show aired is the most influential time in a child's life and he was petrified to have fun playing a video game that part was not staged.
It's so odd that she was so strict. So controlling. And yet the moment a TV show came along, she said yes to it for ther own benefit. Thrusting her kids into " worldly" things. Like that would have shook them.
Not to mention making their kids their own personal band on their website as shown at 9:55 if she didn't want her kids involved in outside worldly things why on earth is she allowing shows of her own family's bluegrass music let alone music competitions? Oh yeah! Like you said; Benefits!
I’ve already commented earlier but felt the need to again. I can’t help wonder how Cathy was brought up, her husband too. Would love there to be details somewhere I could read. I have a hard time believing the dad was soooo conditioned as the wife because he got out into the world for work. Who knows how he acted outside the house. I picture him blasting the radio in his vehicle and jamming but always remembering to switch the channel before he got home. I wouldn’t put it pass him to “get a little” on the side too. Can you imagine making love to the dictatorship of Cathy…missionary only honey and hurry up. How miserable a life, not only for her but those poor children.
@@marionfriedenthal7352 yea she said he had three jobs and also on day of shooting he was working away from home with his job .. I bet if there was times he was working away a lot he had a whole different life than they lived at home.
@@clairegibson6417 Not necessarily Claire. Not all husbands are lowlife cheaters. They appear to have made a joint decision to choose that sort of lifestyle for their family. If he was working three jobs it could explain why they went on Wife Swap. $20 000 back then was a lot of money to make life easier for a large family and possibly to promote their band. The problem with these cases on RUclips is we don't get a full and true picture of the people and their lives. No one can capture that in 60 minutes. For instance, I discovered Jacob actually had 3 music tutors and went to some or other musical event in another state at one time. Yet in this it sounds like they were chained to the farm 24/7.
As an ex Jehovah's witness, I can tell you I grew up similarly and it's the most unhealthy thing and if you disobey you get disowned, and kicked out to the world where you have 0 knowledge never to be talked to unless you return to "God"... This gave me religious trauma syndrome PTSD ... I lost a friend to suicide as well..... I will NEVER go back!!!!
I had a student from a family that had its own fundie religion ... dad had argued with thur minister and in revenge founded his own church just for his kids. Of course ridiculously strict. My student said her brother burned down the barn to fake his own death to escape. My poor student lasted a few weeks in college before her dad ordered to come home and marry his cousin
I'm so sad for the boys who were terrified to go on a date :( A first date can be whatever you want! Getting coffee, hanging out at an arcade--it's literally just getting to know someone, however is most comfortable for both people. The fact that they had such intense emotional reactions makes my heart ache for them. The other mom was literally just sad for them. She wanted them to have agency.
It was an act. They were on a script for a tv show. God, people believe everything they watch. They had signed contracts. Million dollar fines if they didn't act the way the tv show wanted them too. The older brother was already in college and had Facebook account, do you really think he had never been on a date😂
@@84848AR while it faked it’s also highly likely that it was true considering how Kathy took such pride in how she was portrayed. Any reasonable person with any shredded sanity in them would’ve seen that and been horrified because that’s how people are gonna perceive them and if they’re really not like that no good person is going to want to be perceived that way. I can say with complete confidence that while a lot of this was definitely a scripted, there is definitely some level of truth behind it. Those tears weren’t fake they were real. Unless those children had some mad acting classes, there’s no way those tears could’ve been faked so realistically for children who are notoriously bad at acting.
There was a couple on wife's swap from a town I used to live in. they literally brought trash and dirty dishes into the house to make it look like the house was a huge mess when it actually wasn't. But I had no idea they would find them for not saying what they wanted them to say. That's just crazy to me.
The kids were unpaid farm hands. I really believe that was the number one reason for the rules. So sad. I remember that wife swap. When the new mom let them do fun things...the kids were afraid to do it. If I remember right...one started crying and refused to follow the new fun rules.
Ahhh! My husband worked with the dad at his last job. He said he never mentioned what happened, just talked about his grandkids mostly. He said Tim was nice but quiet.
Upbringing like this, don't end well because once those kids go out, the indulgence is insane 😳 because they weren't taught how to grow themselves as people
As someone who grew up with a mother like Kathy I can say that sometimes the trauma comes to the surface when you least expect it or when you are an adult. Even though he was an adult can could do what he wanted he probably was still heavily under his mothers influence and did what she wanted because it’s all he knew like with me. It’s hard not to blame her for how it played out for what she did to her kids. Especially their reactions to being able to play video games and be kids was purely out of fear because they knew what their mom would do when the cameras turned off
My mom is really abusive while I was growing up, not in the way that Kathy was because it wasn’t religion based, but that’s not the point.. with her physical abuse I didn’t fully stand up to her and protect myself until I was 25.. like I still felt like the traumatized, abused child even though I was an adult. I thought back and protected myself truly for the first time and then I went no contact for a couple years (probably should have stayed that way). I’m 29 now and I am only now starting to make real progress in my healing journey. Abuse especially if it starts really early can significantly delay your development in numerous areas. During a traumatic/abusive childhood your body and brain are so focused on surviving that you don’t have the ability to develop and thrive in the way that normal children are able to. I know people might think it odd because he was an adult, biologically, but developmentally it’s kind of like he was still a teen due to the substantial abuse he suffered from his parents for all of those years.
Honestly I paused halfway thru, went on Hulu and watched the entire Wife Swap episode, and I’m conflicted but I gotta say that it definitely seemed like one of the less-dramatized episodes compared to most, it seemed very much like the typical lives of those families, and damn did I cry for these poor kids. As devastating as the outcome was it’s honestly no surprise, kid was GOING to snap eventually
Knowing their mother would see the program, I'm sure they knew how to respond to questions about their lifestyle, like the dating question. They knew better than to do anything to potentially upset their parents...what a traumatic experience. They were TERRIFIED!
This is such a sad story. If Jacob does remember what happened the day of the shooting, he at least owes an explanation to his dad and his two older brothers. It's such a tragedy.
It’s one of those rare cases where you certainly don’t approve of what the killer did, but you can at least understand why they reached their breaking point.
@@Cure_HanaJames was innocent I would be more empathetic if he'd just killed Kathy or Kathy and Tim, but James didn't do a damn thing to deserve death. Jacob is probably unironically happier in prison though.
Reminds me of the family currently on TLC, not the Duggars. (Well, that family kind of does fit this bill) The mom and dad even banned sugar and ice cream along with all worldly things and home-schooled them. There were like 7 kids and they were from Georgia. The oldest son resented his parents after getting married and moving out. They had stunted his growth as a human in terms of interacting with others, feeling empathy, and communicating feelings. His marriage was a wreck for a while when I watched. The next two kids after the oldest moved out too. When two of the kids confronted the parents, it was so cathartic. The kids explained how their strict upbringing set them up for failure in the real world. It was WILD but so relatable. I wish I could remember the name of the show. Anywho, all that is to say that raising kids with such extreme control is NOT a good idea.
Agreed with the Duggars, as well. I read the daughter's book. It was well written and super interesting. The bombshell was that on her wedding day, her dad quickly had her sign a paper. It was all the children signing away the profits to he and their mother. Despicable! At least it's out in the open now. :(
The only thing I can think of is that Jacobs life seems to have been the band and the farm. Maybe there was a possibility that his younger brother was thinking of leaving the band as you mentioned his life was just starting. Either way the case of not knowing why must be awefull for the family
I was thinking that also. Maybe it was THE thing that made him snap like a twig. Of course, the upbringing and all that imo had loads to do with it, but often there is some trigger that sparks a fire...such as with DV. When the abused wants to leave...that’s when violence is most likely to happen. Yet the abusive person was the same way the whole time and a lot went into that awful moment for a long time before it happened. The mom does seem narcissistic tho. And with that the kids pretty much grow up either being the target of future abuse or another abuser just like their narc parent (or Aka he could’ve become controlling much like his mom was and maybe could not accept that the younger bro has a right to leave/quit the band, etc and do what he wanted with his life but Jacob likely saw it as the ultimate betrayal. It’s just hard to know tho such as which child would the narc mom designate as “Golden Child” and which one was a scapegoat and which one was a lost child and so on. Very often the GC as an adult becomes the most loyal and dedicated one to the abusive parent. So then if the mom was siding with the younger son to leave or quit the band, then he would’ve seen her as a betrayer also. All speculation of course tho. All that time was like him being pressure cooked. If the steam never has a way out, at some point it’s just gonna blow all of a sudden.
You only get to be a care-free kid for such a short period of your life, and it’s so unbelievably sad when that’s stolen from someone. Everyone deserves to be a kid, we have the rest of their lives to be adults. Ps- When you grow up in a very controlled environment, even once gaining “freedom,” it can still be very challenging because you often times feel lost. You’re so used to being lead, that when you suddenly have to take the lead, you don’t always know how to proceed. My mother was very controlling - nowhere near to this extent or in the same manners as this mother - but still it made becoming an adult fairly difficult for me and I eventually turned to drugs because of it. I felt like I just couldn’t figure anything out, because my mom had always told me what to do or just did it for me. Now that’s not me blaming her for my decisions. I made those choices, I knew better. I’m simply stating that newfound “freedom” isn’t always liberating in all facets of life.
Did you know better or do you know better now? Make sure to give yourself grace(: I am in the midst of my healing journey from my lovely traumatic and abusive upbringing. I’ve noticed that too, that being an adult is more difficult for me because I don’t know what I’m doing because I wasn’t taught, I was told. If I didn’t do what they wanted me to I would be *punished* The whole do it, or else mentality my parents had screwed me up in so many ways..
Struggling a bit today I lost my husband in Iraq almost 12 years ago here to get some chaos out of my head … I hope everyone is having a good week I hope you can find some love and joy anywhere you can ❤A’HO ❤
I am so sorry for you! I am sure he is free and happy. He is most likely looking down at you and seeing how much of an amazing person you have become. Stay strong, and I wish you happiness!
I grew up in a very similar household as the Stockdale family. I remember watching this episode with my mother who took Cathy's side. It's so unfortunate that they had to go through this.
My uncle and father were involved in a murder in a little town called Cannons Creek, Victoria, Australia. I would LOVE it if you did this case as I don't know half of it. It was big news here as it also involved a prison escape.
There is a girl named Samantha who does Australian cases because she rarely hears them. She is blonde, just stating as ain identifier. Samantha Marie I think. I haven't seen her upload in a hot minute.
Wow, what a tragedy. I remember this episode airing and feeling so much compassion for these boys. Glad you researched the facts about the TV show. I had no idea.
First thing that came to my mind was did Jacob view his younger brother as going to leave the band as he was dating, and his two older brothers had left.
55:30 broke my heart at first, just seeing that bright, smiling face and knowing he's gone, but then I thought about what you said leading up to it. "He always wanted to make people laugh and smile." And I realized he was still doing that. He made me smile, even after he's passed away. I never knew him and he made me laugh and smile. I think he'd be happy about that.
I have watched this case covered before by other true crime RUclipsrs so I thought I knew most of the facts of this case but Danielle you really go above and beyond on your research. You dove into the case here so much more than I’ve seen it covered before and I learned so much more. Really great video, thank you so much for the content you give us! I have my notification bell on so I always know when there’s a new video up 😊
Hey guys, if you wanted to check out ExpressVPN you can go to expressvpn.com/danielle 💜💜💜
Hi Danielle Kirsty I only jusfound ur channel about a week ago so I been binge watching all ur crime story as I love them I was wondering u u could cover the zodiac killer that’s one story I don’t no much about hope u and ur family are well keep up good content love and hugs from me and my daughter in West Midlands uk stay healthy stay happy xx
hi! i highly doubt you will ever see this! but i do have a case i would love for you to cover! my family has a close connection with this case and i could give you a lot of the information i know about the case!
the case is of the Murder Barry Whitton! he murdered his first wife Michelle Townsand which was my grandmothers best friend and got away with it for quite a long time! he also murdered his second wife kimberly whitton and stepdaughter Haleigh cullwell! my mother worked and was friends with kimberly! Kim and her daughter are still missing to this day and there has been no trace of them and the case has went cold! he is currently in jail for his first wife’s murder! i would love and really appreciate if you could cover this case and help get more attention on the case! i will help anyway i can with your research on the case! i recently listed to a podcast that covered the case that i could send you! it did stir up a lot of people around here! i think you could help give a more positive look into the case then the people in the podcast did! i did try to message you on instagram but you could not receive my message! but if you could cover this case you can reach out to me through instagram @__hxll.boi__ thank you!
PLEASE Danielle make a video about the WIFE SWAP controversy!! I'm obsessed by these formats (the nanny one, the wedding etc) and I would love to know more about the dark side. I mean... someone took his own life because of it?? I never knew.
Omg Danielle I'm in ❤️ with those earrings where did you get obviously in UK do they have a website I can buy as I'm in Australia still hanging for a case on the terrible backpack serial killer in Australia his name is the disgusting IVAN MILLAT cheers luv ❤️ you and Daisy you tell the best crime stories better than anyone even Bailey Sarian she's good but your way better you have a beautiful soul and I think that's what makes you soooo good as you really do care about the poor victims and their family and friends you have a huge 💙 ❤️ 😉
Please do the Tracy thermon story please 🥺
anyone else find it really weird that the mom was so controlling in not letting her kids have any outside communication- and then literally stuck her kids on a famous tv show for her personal benefit.
Yeah, she's a classic narcissist.
She was evil
yup... worry he got SA 😔
the Duggar and other fundamentalist families do it too.
Classic fundie behavior. It's never about the kids or "negative outside influences" it's about control and personal profit or gain.
The fact that Kathy kept such strict rules for the children’s whole upbringing just to be willing to expose them to what she deemed unacceptable for 20k shows it was never about “protecting” the kids for her but just control
absolutely
This is an excellent point
she just wanted her own little work force. people like this need to be called what they are, abusers
yep it was a one family cult basically
Facts " Money talks " Theres a reason its the root of all evil.....
The fact that they told wife swap how their family lived and based on what they said the family manual is written, I'm almost certain that their family was more extreme than what was portrayed in the Wife Swap episode. Especially since Kathy was proud of how she was portrayed. The boys breaking down over the thought of having normal human connections and worrying about burning in hell just screams abuse to me.
Yah, those tears were real.
The fact ghat the boys were SCARED of being “punished” after even trying the new rules made it clear to me that the parents were actually abusive-nit just restrictive. Kids don’t react like that to just verbal abuse. idk which parent beat them but together those kids definitely got beat! I absolutely recognize that fear from my brother and our childhood.
Yep
I get that people abuse what they learn from the Bible; But this is what unbelievers or the confused believers would think. Because they dont understand whos in control of all worldly things ,and the warnings that the word gives about bad communications corrupts good habits, or that two can't usually walk together less they agree, and more,they are wisdoms from YAHUAH not suggestions. Normally this is for the benefit of believers because the world is in the control of satan.
I have lived a worldly lifestyle enjoying sins,but they dont always leave you filling satified that's why people become drunks,drug abusers, etc... living the way a worldly person suggests leads to discontent and more carnal pleasures and away from a holy spiritual life nit doing YAHUAH s will but your own, that's how satan wants you to live because he knows it leads to the lake of fire 🔥 this world is a house on fire,but many people refuse to acknowledge that its on fire. This family should have stayed away from being on tv, that's how satan brought ruin to rhis family,by bringing in exposure, money, and rebellion towards parents,and YAHUAH.
My mom said she liked how they didn’t play video games to insult me. Later this story popped up and I was like I told you they were a bad family…
I've said it a thousand times, video games *PREVENT* murder.
Your mom is literally right. Beuse generally speaking, strict families with fathers tend to be far better at successful children. 98% of prison inmates are raised by permissive single moms.
@@WilliamBrowning agreed! *_F_* any statistics! i just simply *KNOW* that you’re right & bet many would concur! 🤟🏼🕊️💕
best part is the stats are on our side here. Video games LITERALLY prevent violence.@@lauriedavis400
@@lauriedavis400 you realize this has been studied, yeah? video games tend to amp up competitive drives _temporarily_ and have basically no long term effect on behavior like this.
To be SO broken that the thought of making a human connection is so terrifying that you break out in tears is heartbreaking.
Don't believe everything about these reality shows. They are faked. Did you not hear Danielle tell us how faked they were. Who knows if those that were crying were real or scripted. I don't think this had anything to do with the wife swap video. I think that Jacob was mentally ill as soon as he was born. But something set him off, and it is a tragedy that he murdered his mom and his little brother. Rest in Peace to Kathy and James.
It's not that. I was raised similarly and remember bursting into tears when my parents finally gave me the sex talk (I was around 15) because I felt that they had kept such information away from me to protect me, and once I learned about the outside world I would inevitably fall to sin and damnation. I was kept in the dark for so long, the idea of anything outside of it was terrifying
@@audreymarsh1827 the outside world IS evil though. Hedonistic at least.
@@audreymarsh1827 Just out of curiosity, was it the constant talk of sinning that made you burst into tears ? so the fear of doing something wrong ? or the thought that your parents were no longer protecting/shielding you by giving you this information/freedom ?
@@AJTho Not the person you asked, but it's the fear of sinning and being condemned, unworthy, etc.
Mom: No radio or TV. They're bad for you.
Also Mom: Make me proud while they film us on this reality show.
Not to mention that sports were too competitive, but literal debate and music COMPETITIONS? Nah that’s fine.
Exactly, and how do they even know what shows are on in order to go on one?
Bc Mommy wants the $20k
@@PazuzuM666The show actually sought them out in attempt to find the most opposite (super strict) family possible for the episode. Mom was a controlling hypocrite though, who used Facebook to promote the family band and exhibit much thirst in promoting her episode on Wife Swap. She knew all the lies the show required and went along with it. So pious and righteous. Real Salt of the earth, that woman. 🙄 Dad deserves his kudos (blame), also. He knew everything and was absolutely fine with it. He was probably glad the boys took so much of her time. He could have been having an affair or eating pizza, nuggets, ice cream, etc while he was so busy "working" for all anyone knows.
@@PazuzuM666 , they had the internet. Kathy was using it to help promote the 'band'.
As someone who grew up in a home that was as strict as the Stockdale house, and was homeschooled, and had pretty much all those same rules: no tv, no worldly music, no internet except Wikipedia for school reports. No worldly friends. Often our food was strictly controlled. The chores had to be done ***perfectly***. This lifestyle is not necessarily a “recipe for murderous children” but I can certainly tell you it doesn’t make for great parent/child relationships.
That sounds awful. I'm glad we live in a time we can decide to cut contact at 18. I hope you healed from that upbringing
@@IrishHoopers family before friends.
@@roleatunless friends treat you better than family.
Sometimes family can be abusive and doesn't perform their responsibilities of properly caring for the children.
@@roleat Not necessarily.. If the family is this toxic, there is absolutely NO need to stay and have a contact. You and your health is what always comes first! :)
Must be a shock to the system when your just pushed out the nest into the big wide world with no real sense of what it is like out there... How to navigate situations on your own... The struggle with your inner morality of what you have been taught is the right way to live and then the reality with which you have been plonked into must feel extremely daunting 😕 how does one even navigate that change?!
As someone who was raised in a strict Mormon household, this hit home. I experienced so many similar things that never even crossed my mind as being messed up or extreme until Danielle described them as such
One of my previous coworkers came from a similar religious upbringing, she said "I never realized how weird I was until I started working with normal people" ...We all told her we didn't think she was weird, just had more stuff to discover.
Normal? Or worldly? Hmmm. There is nothing wrong with being productive and a team in the home. Laying around the house, what does that really do for anyone. There is work that needs done, be a part of it. Clean living is good, control freak is wrong.
When I heard those Regulation it really reminded me of the Mormon or Mennonit way of living
Agreed mine wasn’t this strict but it was close
Also if you are raised this way. You do not know anything differently and honestly think it is just the way things are. Until you become an Adult and live on your own, do you notice others were not raised the same as you.
I am reminded of that African proverb “The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth”. The sheer control Kathy has done to these kids is nothing more than shocking and terrible. Having too much control on your kids can result in stunted development and behavioral problems down the road.
And yes, I get it, they want make sure their kids do not develop any negative influences that might negatively affect them but the part of growing up and maturing is making mistakes of your own and learning from them and becoming a better person down the road.
That’s a powerful quote
I have never heard that proverb before but I think it sums up what happened here perfectly and it is so true.
This parenting style is called authoritarian. Children subjected to this parenting style tend to be well behaved, but often unhappy. Never being given the opportunity to make their own choices, these children grow up without a sense of self of individuality. Hence the reason Jacob took his own life. The poor kid probably never felt like he had a say in anything, even in adulthood. These types of parents tend to interfere in their children’s lives forever, not just when they’re kids.
Heeeyy I know this proverb. I don’t know if it came from west Africa but we also have it in East Africa
This is so true . Especially the end because how do you deal with negative influences as an adult if you’ve never had to face them your entire life?
I think it's interesting that Kathy didn't like her kids being competitive, but then they competed in band competitions.
Good point!
Exactly that’s the backwards thinking of a narcissist, they will turn everything into something they can control and they forget half there rules don’t really even make sense. But that’s the thing kids don’t know any better :(
Also the chore chart with if they did it w/ a smile etc they got more points
I think she just didn't want them to be around other kids, which is abuse imo
Yeah same!! She was enjoying promoting the band & setting up web sites.. She loved being in control! Punished 4 not finishing Ur meal & being late to the table..too bad if they were stuck on the toilet .
the fact that the parents were dating before getting married but prevented their kids from doing so is insane to me
The point wasn't to NEVER date, but to wait until you are ready to look for a spouse. And one must ask the question: what is the point of dating?
I agree but my own parents told me not to "fornicate" before marriage when they didn't wait.
@@delphoeneevenhuis5199 Right? Parents make "rules" for their kids that they didn't follow all the time. Just sounds normal to me.
@@tynee123because I don’t want my kids to make the same mistakes I did at their age.
I was pregnant at 14. I didn't allow my daughters to do certain things, like sleepovers, for that very reason. I knew how it was and I knew how I bent the rules to do what I wanted to do. So my experience as a teen is EXACTLY why I was stricter on my own kids. My girls are 26 and 21 now, and I'm not a grandma yet. Even though everyone said I was a bad influence and my daughters would be stuck in a "cycle."
My parents were actually invited to be apart of this show when i was young. Im always glad they didnt do it and so are they. It was supposed to be two families whose parents were djs swapping, my family did weddings and corporate events, they did clubs and bars.
My parents said no bc they thought it could be confusing and traumatizing to us kids bc of how young we were and they didnt feel comfortable with the idea of someone else coming in and controlling us. They said they never regretted it despite the money they offered!
This show is just a nightmare even just in the idea of it...
I was homeschooled with very conservative families around me - my family was also conservative but I was considered a "bad girl" because I wore makeup, listened to rap and rock, etc. I knew families that were almost as strict as the Stockdale's. Some of the kids adjusted to the real world, but some just couldn't. It was like they were brainwashed and stayed in their bubble for as long as possible. The kids would either cut off their whole family, or stay exactly the same. Things never turned out the way the parent's wanted. It's not surprising to me that one of them would snap.
they are people not clay!
They say you can only abuse a dog so much before it turns on you... The same goes for humans. There isn't too much of a difference between prison and the household he grew up in. Just more hostility around him from other inmates.
He probably has more freedom in prison.
@@kaskoe3520 that’s what I’m thinking too
He’s finally safe.
And sadly, most bad people or inmates say they prefer jail/prison or that its not as bad as they make it out to be. They have a system, much like what Jacobs mom had. A token system per say. The better you behave, the more privilege's and freedom you earn. Jacob probably enjoys it more in prison then he ever did in his real home.
Unfortunately even in prison he can get TV and tablets and video games. He really has a better life there then he ever did at home. This is such a sad story for the kids.
My ex husband comes from a family like this.
He has so much rage built up inside . It was insane. He was a pro at having two lives and two personalities. Terrible and tragic 😥
i'm so sorry, i hope he's doing okay now :')
This type of "controlled" upbringing should be called what it really is - child abuse.
@@annak8755 glad someone said it, the way he was raised obviously had a *HUGE* impact on what happened
I am so sorry you had to deal with this. I can somewhat relate with my ex bf in a way. He would be so nice and non-judgemental, wouldn’t force anything on me when away from his parents, but when it’s just him but when around his parents he would judge me and care more about how his parents felt and tried to force religion on me. So yeah my ex had basically two personalities too.
I was raised by a very controlling "mother" I can tell you, being raised to fear "burning in hell" if you broke the rules, which one of the boys mentioned while crying about his parents seeing the episode, and that they would be ashamed of him. Shame,guilt and fear are all manipulation tools. I can guarantee you these boys are suffering from C-PTSD
Do you think he was angry and that why he shot his mum then ? Why the innocent brother too tho ?
I was beaten right out of my adoption home after 10 years and the fathers police friends assisted the family when I was 16 years old and covered it all up for them
@@romeowandrainbow1040Maybe his brother was the golden child and not so innocent 🤔
The golden child tends to be a also a narcissist like the abuser.
That's why this abusers preferes them, because they see the golden child more as the extention of themselves. The other children are seen as the enemy- scapegoats- the bad ones, while the golden boy can do no wrong, no matter how mean he is to the other siblings.
Seeing those kids so afraid to do normal things is so sad. It's no wonder Jacob snapped, he was probably terrified of everything and resented his parents as he got older. Doesn't excuse what he did, but it might be a possible explaination.
That was always my theory with the case.
And what about killing his brother?
@@sadiyasaleh233 Wrong place, wrong time is my guess.
Could it be that everyone was moving on and he was staying in he abusive house he grew up in? I really don't understand the mom...the dad is terrible as well. Poor boys.
@@teycha88this makes the most sense.
As a child I would play with one of the amish girls at her house when we would take our horse to get shoed because the only people my mom trusted to do it were the Amish family we bought her from. We would make dolls (literally sew dolls and dresses for them, I still have one of my dolls from back then), play outside, make stick houses out of twigs we found, and she taught me how to change her little sister's diaper (I think we were 7, I'm now 33). I can easily say that even the Amish community isn't as strict as this lady or at least not that one, we were from town so I would be playing with this little girl in a dress her mom made for her and there I was in my blue jeans and they still let me play with their kids even though I was an outsider
That's beautiful and that encourages me... Esp because the Christian way of life is always being targeted. Extremism is never the way for anyone to live and God didn't create us to be controlled. He gave us our own will for a reason.
Amish people can do some farriery, but I wouldn’t go as far to say they’re the only ones you should trust. You actually probably should trust them the least and don’t buy horses from them. Just to anyone reading this comment and considering it. English farriers actually have to do schooling and mentorship to become a farrier, hoof anatomy is nothing to play with.
@@Asp47999 never said they were the only ones I trust, it was my mom who had this weird thing about taking our horse there because that's where she got the horse from. They were very good at what they did though so maybe we just got lucky and had a group who had been doing it for generations and they just knew how to do it well. We never had any problems that I knew of with them but we stopped going to them because the drive was too much and my mom's boyfriend at the time found someone closer and I think cheaper
Oh and I agree with you about not buying horses from them, ours was the most ill tempered horse I've ever seen, they do not handle them to be around people well or at least the people we got ours from didn't
@@Hagar-yn8jmthe Christian way isn’t being targeted unless you believe that things like physical, mental, emotional and sexual abuse are fundamental to a Christian upbringing
Did you sew in a face ? Heard it's taboo , to give dolls a face in Amish community's
It's obvious that Jacob had a lot of resentment towards his mother (the controlling, the sheltering life-style, and her putting them on a show for money) since she was killed in her bathroom so she was his first target and probably James found out and in panic (maybe) and a fight he ended up shooting his brother to quiet him down but then he regrets it and decided to take his life(in which he was unsuccessful). I also think he called 911 because he didn't want his brother to die and for the ambulance to get to him but he couldn't say anything (because how could he flat out confess to murdering his mother and brother). It's really tragic.
are you actually blaming the mom for her own murder
he never blamed her. the way their mother treated them was abusive and can explain why he felt the need to do it.
@@corpselizzy
@@corpselizzyif they aren’t, I am. Perhaps don’t abuse a child from birth and they won’t grow to hate you to that degree
@@corpselizzynot blaming..but she is partially responsible for that
That’s exactly what I thought what had happened… Unfortunately he couldn’t / didn’t leave the house like his elder brothers before the tragedy happened… He’s damaged
Strictness is about control, aggression, and abuse. Imagine making a child out of love and then treating them like a soldier or an intern in your family corporation. Disgusting.
Imagine talking about things you don't understand.
@@uhlspetznaz Imagine supporting an abusive mindset that literally ended in murder. Yeah. Not the W take you thought it was buddy.
@@robinfox4440 No one is doing that, sweetheart. Stop talking about things you don't understand.
@@uhlspetznazNo, they're right. This form of parenting has been proven time and time again to be unhealthy. The best form of parenting is called authoritative (overly strict is authoritarian, not having rules for parenting is called indulgent). Authoritative parents have rules and boundaries, but know life can sometimes happen and that those rules can be bent in those circumstances (e.g. car troubles makes your kid late getting home, you don't get upset at them for that and understand it was something outside their control). It's being protective, but not overly protective. It's being a reasonable parent that places rules to follow that are not too over the top controlling.
If you need an example of what that looks like, here's what all three different types would do:
• Authoritarian: you have to study everytime I see you so you can get good grades on your test. If you don't, you're grounded and you don't get dinner until your grades improve. I'm in charge, you will listen to me no matter what.
• Indulgent: You don't need to study if you don't want to, and grades mean nothing! Go have fun, I'm a friend, not a parent.
• Authoritative: You need to study in order to get good grades. If you don't do well, we're going to sit down and figure out what went wrong and how to better correct this. If I know you really tried your best, and I can see you actively putting in a lot of effort to your schooling, I'm proud of you for that regardless of the grade. It just means we might need to get a tutor or ask for outside help. I'm your parent, I'm here to make sure you're okay.
Strictness is subjective. Parents are not able to correct behaviors in America today.
Kathy: we have to be self sufficient and do things for ourselves!
Also Kathy: *enslaves her own children to run the farm for her*
This was a powder keg waiting to go off and the parents are 100% to blame. Poor kids.
It's awfully hard to be self-sufficient when you have zero knowledge of how the world works. I don't understand people who think they are "protecting" their kids by shutting the world out of their view. How is that kid going to function as an adult when he never got to learn how to interact with new people? Or how to cope when he encounters something he finds morally lacking? For god's sake, if you want to protect your kids, then educate them. Knowledge is power!
Many parents do that and claim it’s for the kiddos best interest. I was criticized by a very strict religious mother because I let my son eat at Hooters and on his 18th BD party we let him drink at his party at home. Wasn’t allowed to drive or leave if intoxicated. She thought I was horrible. So her son who was punished for eating at Hooters, under no circumstance allowed a beer was ultimately kicked out of college because all he did was party once he got away from her. My son finished college and became a youth minister. The friend went into the military to learn discipline. Thankfully both are now married with children. Kids need some freedom. This story is so sad. Reminds of my sons old friend.
If this was a recipe for disaster, how do you explain menonite and Amish communities? The children are treated even more strictly, but they aren't violent. My explanation is that ramspringer allows them the choice to leave and never come back. No need to futz up a family. Just walk away.
@@cassandrareedy7369 The Amish have a whole community. They have friends and neighbors with similar lifestyles and values. They don't have the isolation these kids had, I think that makes a difference
@@cassandrareedy7369 there’s a lot of violence that happens from some of the adults and minors. I lived up north for a while and my community complained all the time about the drunk Amish teenagers (males) trying to start fights in front of stores. Also, purposely trying run people off the road with their horse and buggy. Not all but there is so much abuse revolving around them too. My neighbor took in 3 girls who ran away and was afraid to go to the police for fear of being returned. Not all but alot
It rarely seems to turn out well in households that parent this way. It's just so sad to me when kids are controlled through fear and shame using religion and when they're manipulated to fear the rest of the world and other perspectives.
It's child abuse period
Right... like, how do you expect your children to become independent and make decisions for themselves when you control literally everything. I can imagine being raised this way would lead to being completely overwhelmed, confused, probably terrified once they are expected to transition into adulthood. What a debilitating burden to bear.
My step son is currently living in a manipulative household and there’s nothing we can do about it. It’s so disheartening to watch and no government body will step in.
@@e_i_e_i_bro I hadn't even thought of that point, but it's so true and so sad. Those kids were terrified of their parents and the imaginary consequences they'd created for doing normal, human things. It's really just heart breaking.
@@Fitzykids I'm so sorry to hear that, and that you aren't getting any help 🫂 sending a hug and wishing you good luck ❤️
I find it hard to believe that the surviving family members have no idea why Jacob did this. I feel they are just being private and would never reveal any information that may ruin the family image.
This could sadly be true. Either way, the entire family is pretty fuc*** up in both the ways! Such a sad ending, nonetheless.
Easy.. The older two are already brainwashed to completion.
Jacob's complete absolute silence in his own defense strongly indicates sexual abuse occurred. He likely viewed the murder of his brother as a loving act of mercy.
I don't find it hard. They lived in a bubble. They probably don't know much of the world.
I feel like the mom was assaulting the boys and jealousy occurred amongst the brothers.
It's insane to me that people homeschool to isolate their children. I homeschool because life in school was miserable for them. We love going out into the world playing with friends and during the week when kids are in school we get to do all the fun stuff that kids normally only get to do on weekends. We have made getting an education fun and they get to socialize way more now than they ever.
Homeschooling didn't teach kids to change their sex, how to grab themselves or someone else or doing drugs. I can understand Kathy to a point. As for dating...if you have kids... you don't like the idea of hookups... hopefully.
I did too. My son is 29 now and very successful.
@@evamoore2297 Sounds like you are terrified of the world, just like the Stockdale's mom.
I think some people see it as minimizing the amount of bad influences their kids would be introduced to. Honestly I understand it. I was homeschooled up to highschool and I didn't like it. It was lonely, and then I went to a charter school and I liked it but I was also I produced to some bad things that i would let have been introduced to homeschooling. So I get it. Then I worked in the school system and see a LOT of concerning behavior from children due to bad parenting and teachers who step out of line and indoctrinate kids with their personal views and opinions. so I totally get it. When I have children I plan to home school them as well.
seeing the kids feeling upset and scared about being able to do every day things that other kids do is really just heartbreaking, this is a really sad one tbh, i hope no kids now have to deal with this type of strictness.
My kids were like this. Fortunately, they got away from the isolation (more like imprisonment) when they were 4 and 8. The stories we read and heard about when they entered the system were mind blowing. That kind of stress doesn't go away in a hurry either. Even the most kid-ish of kid things are scary to them, like jumping off the swing, or trying the monkey bars... We push them really hard to engage in kid behaviors that they missed out on when with their bio family, and they're doing extremely well! We're really proud of them, because they are working so hard to learn and heal. It is truly sad to see them get so overwhelmed by things that we consider normal, even though they've been in the real world for almost 5 years.
It’s a sad truth but there will always ALWAYS be parents who feel control is more important than the well-being of their children.
@@Heather-xm9ul you sound like an amazing parent, supporting and encouraging them to push their comfort zones while still making them feel safe.
@@Heather-xm9ulThank you for changing their lives. 🥺
It still happens. I taught at a Christian school for 10 years and still remember a 13 year old girl crying because her classmates put on a Disney animated movie. She wasn't allowed to watch it because her parents told her that Disney puts subliminal messages into cartoons to corrupt children. All the other kids were trying to explain to her that it's OK to watch Disney movies but she was becoming hysterical, crying and repeating "I'M NOT ALLOWED!!"
Anyone else randomly find this goddess, binged like crazy, and now waits patiently every week? 😅
Omg yes!!🤣
Yeah how long did it take you? (Just curious because there isn't many)
She is great . Loves Bailey S and does beautiful makeup. And she is a dog Mom! I love little Daisy!
Yes I found her last year and actually watched her and then watched Bailey lol 😂 she's a great story teller
Same
I seriously think he simply snapped. One day out of nowhere. He wasn't in control of his brain at that moment, a brain that had been controlled every second of his whole life. The mother created this and is solely to blame. Poor James, he is the real victim may he rest in peace. (Beautifully covered case by Danielle, as always 👏)
How is the father not to blame?
@@ThereMakeBeSnakes You may have noticed he's mostly absent bc he's working; but one could clame he's guilty in letting it happen, and for being passive (and who knows if he really was completely ok with what was going on.. ). Not defending him, just saying he's not the one directly responsible, IMO.
Male violence is never a woman's fault.
@@roleat okay but what does that have to do with this video
@@oOzephyrOo Only Jacob is guilty, he was an adult who made his own choices in the end, however my point is both parents are directly responsible for how their children are raised regardless of whether they have jobs or not.
I speak of this from experience. Sometimes when a person has the rigid upbringing that the boys endured, it can be very stressful when that rigidity is no longer there. They can become "lost" in an effort to adjust to a world they know nothing about. In me, this resulted in several mental illnesses. I am now 69 and I still have difficulty living around other people and am basicly a recluse. I am not unhappy and I'm content with my life. I pray for others like me.
That feeling of being "lost" makes sense. Thanks for sharing. Never thought of it that way.
I grew up this way..my step dad made us start his religion..Pentecostal..and people would describe them as extreme. We went to church 4 times a week, we never missed, and we had to be covered from neck to feet with no skin showing, unless we were home but it wasn't much less there. You weren't allowed to cut your hair, wear jewelry, makeup, and we could only socialize at church. School was the worst we were already made fun of for the way we dressed but then my stepdad decided we should show humbleness and be a light to the world to not be materialistic..so we were made to wear our clothes 2 days in a row and we had to wear these blue leggings that made us look like the smurfs..so needless to say it made school life worse after this..they believe in strict and physical punishment the more the better so we were beaten at least once a day just because it was good for us and they were just showing us they love us 😂 I will forever laugh at the fact that beating us within an inch of our lives was showing love🤣 but I'm a very strong woman and they taught me what not to do..they broke me almost but I'm so thankful I got the courage to stand up and left at fifteen and I've taken care of myself since. I also have an amazing family with 3 wonderful beautiful kids so I know I may have a few issues from how we were raised but I've never let it make me a victim and I broke that vicious circle with my children🫶🏼🫶🏼
Wtg momma!
I’m so proud of you. You broke the cycle and are reaping the bounty of blessings and love that come from that. I too have a similar story. I did everything with my kids that my parents didn’t. We have a beautiful life and we love and respect each other. Again, you have done something so amazing. Many blessings
❤️🩹wow that is a lot. I don’t understand why people have kids just to treat them poorly🥺 I hope you have healed since then. My mum is narcissist, I cut her off a year or more ago after I realised my whole childhood was a lie. I think it’s so upsetting that kids go through this everyday all over the world people like this should be in prison. My partners parents are the same. I’m glad people like us are here to break the cycle though, ❤im teaching my daughter to love and be kind and I could never imagine putting her though what I went through. Parents should protect not cause all the damage!
You were a victim and no one should be feel ashamed for being put in that position, ever. I believe you when you say you are a strong woman but i promise you that has more to do with your journey that with the abuse you were submitted to. Abuse break people's spirit it doesn't make them stronger. Abuse make victims
I'm sorry you had to grow up that way, but I'm happy that you broke the cycle. 💗 you're amazing!
It's honestly terrifying to hear about how scared the children were at the very thought of watching tv or having the option to CHOSE things without the parents's input, or feeling guilty for enjoying things! They actually feared going to hell for these things!
My heart breaks for them!
And then this awful awful tragedy happened... I feel so terrible for the Stockdale children.
😢 same
I grew up this way and I feel extreme guilt and shame daily.
@@MW-cw9yi I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you will find a way to make the guilt go away, it's not your fault
@MW-cw9yi same, I feel guilty for even just relaxing or enjoying a TV show. I got a nose piercing bc I love them and it took me over a year to truly not feel guilty about it, like I was committing some mortal sin. Healing from a childhood like that takes so long. 🥲
Growing up I was taught so many crazy things being in a cultish religious church. I actually believed gay people, Buddhists, anyone with statues in their front yard, people who read harry potter, and especially people who were liberal were going to hell and I even thought about how great it was they would go there. Now I am a buddhist with lots of statues in my yard, my family loves harry potter and im quite liberal. Great job mom!
I grew up in a similar situation. I wasn't allowed T.V. very often, video games didn't exist, and I wasn't allowed to play with other children. My dad was a fanatical Jehovah's Witness, 2 hours of church twice a week and pounding on people's doors for hours every weekend. Homeschooling was my private hell. Dad would force me to do schoolwork for 12-18 hours a day without meals. The isolation hid the fact he was raping me regularly.
I ran away at 12 and refused all attempts by CPS to reunite me with my family. When I got sick of CPS I ran away, riding semis all over the U.S..
What secrets was the Stockdale family hiding? It had to be something so awful for the young man to kill over.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Sometimes much less abusive situations can lead to terrible outcomes as well. They don't have to be hiding such dark secrets, although they could be. I'm so sorry that happened to you and I appreciate your honesty and proud of you for doing what you had to do to survive.
I am very sorry you were robbed of a childhood and hurt so badly. I hope that everything is happy and well in your life now.
@@mountainmama8932 Thank you. Yes, life is much better now. I've had quite a few roadblocks to overcome, but life is good,
So glad you manage to escape!!!! Stay strong
This is like when your friend wants to tell you a really detailed story, but you gotta go to the club in an hour, so shes gonna tell you while getting ready
I was raised by a mom like this so I can actually understand why someone could snap so many years later. I’m 57 and still have horrible nightmares and deep anxiety about going outside and being around people. There have been times throughout my life where I would become that angry at my mother that I felt capable of ending her. Luckily we didn’t live near each other so I rarely saw her after turning 18 but when I did see her or even when she just called I would feel like I was having a heart attack from the anxiety. I finally had to cut all ties just to get well emotionally. So looking at it through the lens of my own experience I can see it being tied back to his childhood experiences with her. I’m not sure why he would kill his brother though, unless he got in the way or something.
Maybe his younger brother wanted to leave the band and settle down with his girlfriend 🤔
Strange, I have the same anxieties but I had LOTS of freedom.
I have a very similar experience. The brain of an abused child develops differently, we are wired for survival.
@@CoffeeCrazyfreedom is a state of mind. If you were plagued by anxiety then you were being held captive too... Your chains were in disguise .
Yes more people should talk about this certain parenting can ruin one’s life forever it’s truly sad😔
Lol this is basically my family life growing up… except we were waaaaay too poor to eat that healthy. Other than that I literally resonated with almost everything. The insanity that comes out of homes like this is tragic. If you are considering raising your kids in anyway like this… please reconsider! Every family I know that was like mine was full of abuse, neglect, hurt, and misery. It’s not healthy!
My mother was quite over protective and we were only allowed to watch old shows and listen to oldies music. I think it caused me to be a little socially awkward, but at least we weren't hidden away from the world and we were allowed to be kids. But there was no abuse, and when we became teenagers restrictions were lessened.
Kathy's extreme sheltering of her sons does not prepare them for life as an adult.
There is a balance between being too strict and too permissive. Both are too extreme
Yep. Too strict and your kids get all pent up and angry. Too permissive and your kids get disrespectful and angry. I really with I knew thebright balance.
@@blahblahblah4544 it's definitely difficult. The only thing I can say is to think of yourself as raising future adults. What behaviors do you believe would help your children be good adults? Then start trying to cultivate them young . Another balance comes with discipline
@@lisapop5219 For me, healthy adults ask questions before assuming and reacting to things so that's what I try to do and teach. So when my kids act up, I come in and be like "What happened? Why are you crying? " Then I make the kids tell me what happened in their eyes. Then I ask them what they should do. My cute 3 year old today was like "um be nice?" "How do you be nice?" "I don't know :(" "Well let me help you."
If I had the time I would sit there and ask more questions but there's no time for that.
It's difficult because I wasn't taught these things growing up :( I make it known that mommy and daddy are learning too. We are all learning. So let's work together to learn.
It's all I can do.
Usually parents pendulum swings opposite ways they were raised. I'm trying not to do that, so that's why I watched messed up stories like this. :|
It's great advice to pay attention to how adults should act and do that.
I'm Christian so I incorporate that stuff too.
@blah blahblah for some reason I don't see this when I click on reply. My husband & I wanted to take the good things that we had & reject almost everything else that we grew up with. At every stage, we had to adjust. We didn't want to recreate or push our kids to recreate our parents choices (both single teen moms). It is a delicate balance. They are 26 & 23, completely on their own at 18 & 20. I think we did OK. They still like us even though we don't agree on everything. No grandkids yet.
Exactly. My parents weren't perfect (no parents are) but they raised us to be responsible while also letting us have fun and be normal kids. It's all about finding a happy medium.
When you've grown up in what is essentially a prison, freedom can feel oppressive and anxiety-inducing. When you've always been told what to do and how to think, you're not equipped to handle the stress of making choices, of discerning the intentions of strangers, and pathfinding through the minefield of disinformation. I doubt these kids knew anything about mental health, and the thought of seeking help probably felt shameful.
When you've had a childhood where you're told to man up, to not let anything get you you, to push back the tears, and to not complain about anything, I'm not entirely surprised to hear about one of the kids losing it entirely. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't know why he did it, regardless of the brain injury.
I don't know if anyone got a similar vibe, but when you were describing how the family was living in one location, then moved to somewhere else that was very isolated, the kids were kept away from other kids, heavily restricted to only doing house/farm-work, extremely devout, not allowed to have friends, etc., I got Ed Gein vibes. If you look at both upbringings, they're both kinda similar. And both clearly ended badly
I literally said “we see how that turned out for Ed Gein” while she was explaining their upbringing.
@@JenaLannette same
I was thinking the same.😅
Remember what happened with the Duggars? Raising children in these super strict families just doesn't end well.
Emeshment with the mother has produced a few nasty killers 🥴 she could have seemed like a loving parent, but theres such a thing as too much togetherness
I remember that episode well. I watched wifeswap religiously! 😄 The saddest thing is, Jacob will have more freedom in prison than he had within that family. Cathy was nothing more than a controlling, narcissistic personality. I feel so sad for her children. How awful.
um nah Jacob just wanted to kill,
If he can be a killer just because of how he was raised, the other 3 sons would also wanna kill.
I feel the most sad for James.
@@smellsfishy5187 he's the one that just snapped. They could of also killed her too and snapped but they didn't. They also have trauma too but apparently Jacob js snapped and got fed up.
@@smellsfishy5187This is a stupid worldview. We are not clones of each other. Everyone is a unique person. So sad, that so many are this outworldly. It seems there grew uo more people on a sheltered farm than one can imagine. My goodness...
Instead of saying they were a "very strict and controlling family", we can call it what it is: abuse.
Oh, I thought you were gonna call it a cult, but ok... still, watching the complete opposite types of family that were in this episode, I think that to a certain degree, they needed to swap some of the rules. One had no structure at all, the other had too much, so much that it was basically abuse, as you said. But then again, the other family was abusive in its own way, cause sex, drugs and rock 'n roll, isn't exactly what one might call good parenting. Now, in my country, we have reality shows too, and some of them are taken from US shows, be it as a mere concept, or just the entire thing. We too had the show, but it was called "Schimb de mame", meaning "Mom swap". And given that it was aired on a tv channel that was less popular, they didn't have as many funds to fudge it up and make it as fake as described in this video. Also, the other reality shows, especially the ones with celebs in them, you can tell when the acting kicks in, and when the drama is enforced, for the sake of the drama.
Mom took it to abuse...but was the other family really a role model? Nah.
Y'all I never claimed the other family was good at all.💀
People have taken their own lives over issues with Wife Swap. Yes, that is important to point out. Thank you.
Can you recall any names or situations? I’ve tried a lot of searching but the only other case I could find was a pub owner from the UK who committed suicide dues to his business failing during the pandemic.
I'm interested in links/names?
@@NotRedRobynmakes me wonder if they took their lives because of wife swap or they took their lives and just so happen to be on wife swap, if anyone actually took their lives but yea I can’t find anything either. I just did a quick search but I expected it to show right up. I’ll search more when this video is done.
Very false statement.
@@hayleyalderete6735 what’s false?
Last I've heard the father is trying to appeal to the courts, to get Jacob a lesser sentence. He says he doesn't blame him and wants him to come home for him and his brothers forgive and love him. So Dad must have known how bad it was growing up with Kathy to be able to forgive and show such mercy. It doesn't excuse his involvement though and neither of them deserved to die.
Forgiveness is a Christian value of Supreme importance. Forgiving someone in no way means that Kathy's behavior was the cause of Jacob's choice to take two family members' lives and now needs his remaining family's forgiveness. Forgiveness by his father and brothers is their faithfulness to live the values of their faith.
Since when do we blame victims for someone's evil choices. There's no evidence that Kathy abused her sons or that her son's felt abused. While I can't live the life that Kathy chose, I applaud her courage in going against the tidal wave of modern living.
I'm afraid that reaching the conclusions that you and others are reaching is based on personal bias and not on any evidence of abuse.
@@rebalspirit Kathy's mo strongly resembles the mother of Ed Gein.
@@rebalspirit Reading this comment was absolutely wild. The things that Kathy was doing was abusive. She was a controlling narcissist and it's no wonder growing up like this that someone snapped.
But whatever. Religious people will always find an excuse.
Or he wants to cover up what really went on in the home. I promise you, the abuse wasn't mere chores and strict regimens.
@@maleahlock Could be... Sadly know one truly knows but them.
Can you imagine thinking the childhood friendships your child could form are "meaningless"? You can't expect to produce well-rounded children if they aren't allowed to do anything.
I can't imagine instilling such fear of the world into your own kids that they're scared to experience even just normal things like dating
We saw these guys in concert and they seemed so fun and energetic on stage. We bought a few of their CDs. Whenever I come across them, I get sad. I feel bad for those boys growing up in that abusive home life. Just sad all around.
It was probably the only time they could express themselves and have fun. I was in a fundamentalist cult, and involvement in music kept me from devastating depression.
I just want you to know that I really admire you. I’m so happy for you and your success over the years. You always put the victims first, even when you dissect a murderer’s back story and their troubles. You also help me forget for a moment about my life struggles and pain. I appreciate you, and I hope you are also taking care of yourself with plenty of self care after these heavy cases. You deserve the peace of mind in between your research. I wish the best for you and I’ll always be rooting for you 🎉 Thank you for everything you do. You make a positive difference in people’s lives.
That was a wonderful 😊 comment
Yes! Well said and I 💯 concur with that statement! Self-care is SO vital to one's mental well-being.
I am a resident of Stark county just outside of Bolivar and we always referred to the Stockdale farm property as a “compound” - I can confirm their family was even worse than portrayed on TV and the tragedy of 2017 was upsetting to us all but was not a shocking event.
When home feels like a prison as children become teens nearing adulthood sometimes EXTREME MEASURES are taken becuz they feel there is no leaving/escaping this prison without a SERIOUS JAILBREAK I think it's no coincidence this famines name is STOCKDALE aka STOCKDALE syndrome
Stalkholm syndrome
stockholm syndrome 👩🏽🏫
We had a family like that that lived a couple houses down. They were super religious and the wife looked like a 19th century puritan. They wouldn't ever talk to anybody in the neighborhood and were very reclusive. It was a pretty small town so you'd always see your neighbors at the grocery store or whatever. Never saw any of these people in town, ever. Long story short, they ended up making national news for murdering one of their adopted children. After the story broke, it was revealed that the children were being heavily abused. The little girl died from hypothermia with bruises all over her body. Apparently, they disciplined her by beating her and then forced her to sleep outside without any clothing on, which led to the hypothermia. Pretty sad.
@@septixskeptix1107jfc 😳that’s absolutely horrific!
these shows blow my mind because i'd imagine if filmed today, CPS would be called.... not that that system works as we all know
Then again, maybe not. There are so many suspect utube families. They record their children with no regard for what their preference will be when they grow up. So selfish.
Cps doesn't care about children
You've said "suspect" but I think you mean "openly abusive for everyone to see"
It’s so incredibly sad that James got wrapped up in all of this. I have a really good feeling that he wasn’t an initial or intentional target, and the whole thing breaks my heart. Especially when the episode aired, and we watched those boys cry about the changes, worrying about eternal damnation at those ages is absolutely wild.
Not any wilder than crying about ”climate change” at those ages
I don't know,obviously. None of us do. One thing that stood out to me is how happy James seems to be in most of the videos. Maybe he was resented because he was more the child his mother tried to mold them into ,while Jacob just couldn't be that perfect child..Jacob has long hair at one point in their videos, which shows a rebellious streak and what we have seen about the mother ,I'm sure she criticized him for that. Maybe she compared them,pointing out how much of a disappointment Jacob was . Maybe he just resented him simply because of that.And when he snapped his brother was there ,unfortunately. I would say the mom was the main target,though.
@@pale_saint, one is worrying about the very real, very imminent existential crisis that 99.99% of related experts agree is GOING TO cause the deaths of millions and render densely populated parts of the Earth uninhabitable.
The other is worrying about being sent to a Hell that isn't even described in the Bible because you go against your reactionary parents' interpretation of a Bronze Age myth that's been reinterpreted and re-translated countless times by people seeking to control others.
Jacob was 25 and still at home, so that was a choice. I would maybe say a possible failure to launch. I'm not buying into his love for farming and being happy to live in a strict environment at his age.
I had a student who was in German wife swap a decade ago and that was really, really awful for the kids. They had their real names mentioned on tv altough the kids were just between 5 and 12 years at the time. I think that was really bad for the kids.
Not to mention with social media and people rediscovering these shows for a multitude of reasons..they probably every couple of years get people rewatching and looking them up. I’ve seen tiktok updates on some from the us wife swap and the show has to be 10+ years old.
knowing how privacy is valued in germany, i'm surprised. how awful for the kids.
(for an idea, even serial killers' and predators' full names have been successfully kept secret somehow)
@@colorbugoriginals4457 That was about 15 years ago and I was really shocked when I saw that episode. :(
Ah Wife Swap, my personal teenage sobering. 😂 Any time I found my dramatic, emotional self thinking my parents were the worst for...parenting, here comes that gem of a show. This one was tough, all around.
I was raised similarly. Homeschooled, wasn't allowed to play with other children or to go outside, tv, music and books were monitored and had to be approved. Very religious, went to church four times a week and the people I associated with had to be approved. I didn't go anywhere without a parent/adult, even if it was to the mail box. Not allowed to eat anything that chewed its cud, and we didn't eat out often. 3 hour devotion each day and I had a bed time until I was 17.
My god, this story is giving me PTSD.
Marine boot camp sounds like a breeze compared to Kathy’s parenting rules 😳
Prison sounds better..
At least we got to make friends in boot camp 😂
Yeah I agree. I’d rather be in Marine Corps training than deal with how her parenting was.
I grew up in a similar household of 4 girls (I'm the oldest), but not quite as strict;
We were "allowed" to socialize with other kids our age who were also in our sunday school class and in our homeschooling group.
I remember this family being the talk all over our homeschool group as like "The Goal Family" to achieve to be.
And thankfully, after high-school I was able to get out of that lifestyle and haven't looked back.
I've left the church as well, but for a laundry list of reasons, some of which are cause of the cult-like dynamic you typically see.
I don't know anyone I grew up qith all those years ago who have a remotely healthy relationship with their parents growing up this way or similar.
I am so sorry you had to grow through that, I'm glad that you got out and I hope you have
more good luck in your life to replace that bad luck you were clearly given at birth! Stay strong!
@@sarahsmith8875 it's definitely been better since I've gotten away from that kind of lifestyle. I still do have a relationship with my parents, but it's by no means how it "should" be. If that makes sense.
I feel closer to my mother in law than I do to my bio mom.
My dad has come a long way, but there are still things we definitely have different points of views on.
Thank you for your kind words 💜
I am so glad that you are happier! Those words may be kind, but they are the truth. Just remember that you are never alone. Even in your darkest, try to see the light.
I am so happy to hear that you left and have your own life and your own thoughts now. Makes my heart happy 🥰
You sound very judgmental in this video? What business of it is yours?
When you said that it would be about a reality show, I had an inkling that this might be the case. Whilst I know the story already, I look forward to your retelling of it!
same
she's the only RUclipsr who's videos i watch even if i know the case, and usually more than once!! She's so engaging!!
@@IZAgood_eh If u love her you should try Elenore neele there the only 2 I watch they are similar
"super religious strict family" or "cult"? same thing to me, in personal experience. "Super religious strict family" is used to hide the fact that its a very small cult.
i’m studying for my exam in less than 10 hours and i needed a break SO THANK YOU DANIELLE , please wish me luck, super stressed !! ❤️
EDIT: Thank you all for wishing me a good luck , you are all literally angels 👼🏼❤️!! I PASSED MY EXAM , i’m now officially a registered nurse i got my license and i’m so happy and i appreciate all the love from these comments and especially DANIELLE i literally love her and love our community ❤️❤️. MUCH LOVE .
good luck with your exam!! you’re gonna kill it! (no pun intended)
Good luck ❤❤
Good luck from Scotland
@@pinkfeet518 AHAHAHA THANK U BEAUTIFUL ❤️
@@beccaboo098 Thank you sweetheart
Perhaps Jacob only wanted to kill Kathy, but James witnessed the murder and Jacob panicked and killed him too.
What a terrible tragedy. No one should live in such strict family. I understand rules and wanting to teach kids some crucial values, but never to a point of depriving them of any sort of fun, entertainment and human connections.
Maybe his younger brother wanted to leave the band and settle down with his girlfriend 🤔
The other family they swapped with must have been so freaked out when they found out what happened :/
If the family was as strict as was portrayed, it's possible that Jacob just couldn't handle the freedom that he now had. I've met some kids while at college who were from really strict families who just fell apart when they got to college. It's hard for people to go from an environment of strict regulation to freedom, we hear examples of this amongst prisoners who had been in prison for decades suddenly getting paroled. They just don't know how to deal with the freedom.
This show never sat right with me, it exposed a lot of families, but nothing ever came from it. Once the show was over, that was it, nothing changed.
A family in my hometown was on this show, they swapped with a strict family that homeschooled their kids, and they moved around a lot, so the kids couldn’t make or keep friends. During the swap, the kids attended my school, and one was in my class.
They were so excited, got to play on the soccer team, which they always wanted to do, but couldn’t because of the constant moving, and they also made a lot of friends, myself including. I remember that they wanted to stay in one place and attend school after the show, but their parents said no and continued on the way they were before the show. The kids were so upset that they were in tears, which of course they filmed…it was actually really sad to see first hand, I still think about them from time to time.
But yes, they only filmed for a week, and they did provide them with a fake house, which I went to, and it was all staged. They cut out a lot of stuff out as well, the majority of it was indeed scripted, but the emotions were definitely real, which I feel that they exploited.
I keep thinking that it might’ve been the show that was the motive, in the sense that maybe Jacob hated that his mom wouldn’t let the show promotion rest even all those years later. James seems as though he probably laughed the episode off. But since Jacob lived the closest to the perspective of the family on the show-farming and the family band, maybe the wife swap episode felt like a personal attack to him. Danielle did say that the other people that went on wife swap were adversely affected in their real lives, and the experience you mentioned above sounds just as ripe with emotional turmoil. All of these reality shows have left victims in their wake and the perpetrators with their coffers full.
I remember this case and the episode well and I felt so bad for those boys. When he started crying about the date I just knew how brainwashed they truly were. Chores is one thing, but no tv or games or friends is just cruel. Kathy was something else. I would not have been able to live like that. Still a very sad story.
You think that tv programs dont brainwash people, or entertainment, games, that's pretty funny 😂😂😂🤦♀️
What episode is it i keep looking only to not find it except about the case
@@inyahuahitrustmd1977 Get out of here with your straw man arguement.
Why do I get the feeling Cathy would have been that woman complaining about not having grandchildren because she ruined her kids social skills
No TV or video games is fine. No friends, no games or entertainment of *any* sort is the problem. I grew up without TV on purpose and without video games because we couldn't afford them. But Mom almost always had the radio on, since that's free. We still had board and card games and "pretend." We were basically turned loose on the library once a week. And how the heck does someone live without ice cream?
James was such a cute handsome boy, funny , talented and lovely... what a loss for the world to have him go so young.
A family where I’m from went on Wifeswap. They had a business and the kids would come to school and talk about how the producers would make them get up super early to do hours of work before they even came to school and then made them do tons of work after school and they couldn’t/didn’t go to their after school activities during filming. It was wild.
The not filming of school activities makes sense, probably couldn’t get clearance to film at the school.
Two examples of extremes in parenting: you just never know when some day a kid is going to snap or be suffering from mental health unless we try to communicate with them as much as possible
One of my best friends growing up was in a very similar bluegrass family band. The problem was everyone had a different idea of how long this family band would last. When one left to go to college all hell broke lose. That brother was completely ostracized and shamed - and when he tried to talk to the parents about letting go of the other kids and letting them have lives - everyone reacted poorly. Then my friend fell in love and got engaged - the family still expected her to travel with the band up until the very day she got married. Not allowing any time to plan her wedding or spend time with her fiancé. They went on a singing reality show and were offered a contract - when she wouldn't sign because she didn't want to tour with her family when she was married - again all hell broke loose. They are incredibly fractured now - some not speaking to each other. When your intertwined like that - your money, your career, your dreams, dependent on your siblings/children....woof it never ends well.
Happens to all families.
Sounds like the Franz family
Not as weird as presenter
Just started the video, it was uploaded 7 minutes ago and there are already 1700+ views. I've watched your channel grow and your humble joy and gratitude towards your viewers. Look at you go Danielle!!! 🥳 🎉 🪅 You're doing it! 🤩😘💃
Can't wait for Danielle to reach 1m!
IMO, Jacob's whole identity was the Stockdale band he had nothing outside of that still living at home. Seems he was losing that with James in College and having a gf my guess is James may have announced he's leaving the home, and possibly the band Jacob would have been more than devastated and had resentment towards his mother who programmed him 15yrs old when show aired is the most influential time in a child's life and he was petrified to have fun playing a video game that part was not staged.
That's what I think too.
It's so odd that she was so strict. So controlling. And yet the moment a TV show came along, she said yes to it for ther own benefit. Thrusting her kids into " worldly" things. Like that would have shook them.
She might have seen it as an opportunity to spread their beliefs, a core tenet in many communities/belief systems like this
Not to mention making their kids their own personal band on their website as shown at 9:55 if she didn't want her kids involved in outside worldly things why on earth is she allowing shows of her own family's bluegrass music let alone music competitions?
Oh yeah! Like you said; Benefits!
The family was probably were compensated so they probably needed the money for the farm.
20,000$ is hard to walk away from and this was 2007 dollars
This wasn’t about “protecting” her children is was about controlling every aspect of their life.
I’ve already commented earlier but felt the need to again. I can’t help wonder how Cathy was brought up, her husband too. Would love there to be details somewhere I could read. I have a hard time believing the dad was soooo conditioned as the wife because he got out into the world for work. Who knows how he acted outside the house. I picture him blasting the radio in his vehicle and jamming but always remembering to switch the channel before he got home. I wouldn’t put it pass him to “get a little” on the side too. Can you imagine making love to the dictatorship of Cathy…missionary only honey and hurry up. How miserable a life, not only for her but those poor children.
I was wondering about their upbringing too?! It’s kind of creepy that she would do this
Omg, yes, this comment 💯! Couldn't have put it better myself. The husband deffo lived a different life outside of the family home.
The husband was a farmer, wasn't he? I don't recall her saying he had a regular job somewhere.
@@marionfriedenthal7352 yea she said he had three jobs and also on day of shooting he was working away from home with his job .. I bet if there was times he was working away a lot he had a whole different life than they lived at home.
@@clairegibson6417 Not necessarily Claire. Not all husbands are lowlife cheaters. They appear to have made a joint decision to choose that sort of lifestyle for their family. If he was working three jobs it could explain why they went on Wife Swap. $20 000 back then was a lot of money to make life easier for a large family and possibly to promote their band. The problem with these cases on RUclips is we don't get a full and true picture of the people and their lives. No one can capture that in 60 minutes. For instance, I discovered Jacob actually had 3 music tutors and went to some or other musical event in another state at one time. Yet in this it sounds like they were chained to the farm 24/7.
As an ex Jehovah's witness, I can tell you I grew up similarly and it's the most unhealthy thing and if you disobey you get disowned, and kicked out to the world where you have 0 knowledge never to be talked to unless you return to "God"... This gave me religious trauma syndrome PTSD ... I lost a friend to suicide as well..... I will NEVER go back!!!!
I had a student from a family that had its own fundie religion
... dad had argued with thur minister and in revenge founded his own church just for his kids. Of course ridiculously strict. My student said her brother burned down the barn to fake his own death to escape. My poor student lasted a few weeks in college before her dad ordered to come home and marry his cousin
I'm so sad for the boys who were terrified to go on a date :( A first date can be whatever you want! Getting coffee, hanging out at an arcade--it's literally just getting to know someone, however is most comfortable for both people. The fact that they had such intense emotional reactions makes my heart ache for them. The other mom was literally just sad for them. She wanted them to have agency.
It was an act. They were on a script for a tv show. God, people believe everything they watch. They had signed contracts. Million dollar fines if they didn't act the way the tv show wanted them too. The older brother was already in college and had Facebook account, do you really think he had never been on a date😂
@@84848ARforgive me if I don’t really believe such a sheltered man would be able to cry on cue. Where did he pick up the drama lessons?
@@84848AR while it faked it’s also highly likely that it was true considering how Kathy took such pride in how she was portrayed. Any reasonable person with any shredded sanity in them would’ve seen that and been horrified because that’s how people are gonna perceive them and if they’re really not like that no good person is going to want to be perceived that way. I can say with complete confidence that while a lot of this was definitely a scripted, there is definitely some level of truth behind it. Those tears weren’t fake they were real. Unless those children had some mad acting classes, there’s no way those tears could’ve been faked so realistically for children who are notoriously bad at acting.
@@84848AR Not EVERYTHING was scripted or an act. Obviously, the kids had a very sheltered and controlled life.
@@84848ARit wasn’t faked even the community knew how bad the house was !
There was a couple on wife's swap from a town I used to live in. they literally brought trash and dirty dishes into the house to make it look like the house was a huge mess when it actually wasn't. But I had no idea they would find them for not saying what they wanted them to say. That's just crazy to me.
The kids were unpaid farm hands. I really believe that was the number one reason for the rules. So sad. I remember that wife swap. When the new mom let them do fun things...the kids were afraid to do it. If I remember right...one started crying and refused to follow the new fun rules.
"unpaid farm hands" ... nailed it
"Unpaid farm hands" = slave labor and it's disgusting what those parents did to those kids 😢
it’s hard for me to even blame him tbh. there was no way he would ever turn out normal with a childhood like that.
Why wouldn't he? The rest of the brothers were normal and endure the same exact childhood.
I honestly think wife swap was the absolute dumbest thing ever. And the way the Stockdale family was run is INSANE and borderline abuse.
Ahhh! My husband worked with the dad at his last job. He said he never mentioned what happened, just talked about his grandkids mostly. He said Tim was nice but quiet.
Interesting. It seems that he was the passive one in the marriage.
Laurie must be so heartbroken when she thinks about that other family. But also treasures her family more.
Yeah, she may not be a perfect parent (no one is) but she is a loving parent.
Upbringing like this, don't end well because once those kids go out, the indulgence is insane 😳 because they weren't taught how to grow themselves as people
As someone who grew up with a mother like Kathy I can say that sometimes the trauma comes to the surface when you least expect it or when you are an adult. Even though he was an adult can could do what he wanted he probably was still heavily under his mothers influence and did what she wanted because it’s all he knew like with me. It’s hard not to blame her for how it played out for what she did to her kids. Especially their reactions to being able to play video games and be kids was purely out of fear because they knew what their mom would do when the cameras turned off
My mom is really abusive while I was growing up, not in the way that Kathy was because it wasn’t religion based, but that’s not the point.. with her physical abuse I didn’t fully stand up to her and protect myself until I was 25.. like I still felt like the traumatized, abused child even though I was an adult. I thought back and protected myself truly for the first time and then I went no contact for a couple years (probably should have stayed that way). I’m 29 now and I am only now starting to make real progress in my healing journey. Abuse especially if it starts really early can significantly delay your development in numerous areas. During a traumatic/abusive childhood your body and brain are so focused on surviving that you don’t have the ability to develop and thrive in the way that normal children are able to. I know people might think it odd because he was an adult, biologically, but developmentally it’s kind of like he was still a teen due to the substantial abuse he suffered from his parents for all of those years.
Honestly I paused halfway thru, went on Hulu and watched the entire Wife Swap episode, and I’m conflicted but I gotta say that it definitely seemed like one of the less-dramatized episodes compared to most, it seemed very much like the typical lives of those families, and damn did I cry for these poor kids. As devastating as the outcome was it’s honestly no surprise, kid was GOING to snap eventually
I thought it was child abuse in the Stockdale family as well. My heart broke for those children
Knowing their mother would see the program, I'm sure they knew how to respond to questions about their lifestyle, like the dating question. They knew better than to do anything to potentially upset their parents...what a traumatic experience. They were TERRIFIED!
I grew up on a farm in the 70s, and we didn't eat the way that woman made her family eat. 😢
Yea. I can dig clean eating. But not gizzards and liver everyday. That's just too much.
This is such a sad story. If Jacob does remember what happened the day of the shooting, he at least owes an explanation to his dad and his two older brothers. It's such a tragedy.
It’s one of those rare cases where you certainly don’t approve of what the killer did, but you can at least understand why they reached their breaking point.
@@Cure_HanaJames was innocent I would be more empathetic if he'd just killed Kathy or Kathy and Tim, but James didn't do a damn thing to deserve death. Jacob is probably unironically happier in prison though.
Love how the parents were allowed a life and education, but not their kids
Reminds me of the family currently on TLC, not the Duggars. (Well, that family kind of does fit this bill) The mom and dad even banned sugar and ice cream along with all worldly things and home-schooled them. There were like 7 kids and they were from Georgia. The oldest son resented his parents after getting married and moving out. They had stunted his growth as a human in terms of interacting with others, feeling empathy, and communicating feelings. His marriage was a wreck for a while when I watched. The next two kids after the oldest moved out too. When two of the kids confronted the parents, it was so cathartic. The kids explained how their strict upbringing set them up for failure in the real world. It was WILD but so relatable. I wish I could remember the name of the show. Anywho, all that is to say that raising kids with such extreme control is NOT a good idea.
The weird blonde family
The Plaths. Show was called Welcome To Plathville.
Agreed with the Duggars, as well. I read the daughter's book. It was well written and super interesting. The bombshell was that on her wedding day, her dad quickly had her sign a paper. It was all the children signing away the profits to he and their mother. Despicable! At least it's out in the open now. :(
For the love of money is the root of all evil. Absolute power corrupts absolute.
Sounds like child abuse to me
The only thing I can think of is that Jacobs life seems to have been the band and the farm. Maybe there was a possibility that his younger brother was thinking of leaving the band as you mentioned his life was just starting. Either way the case of not knowing why must be awefull for the family
I was thinking that also. Maybe it was THE thing that made him snap like a twig. Of course, the upbringing and all that imo had loads to do with it, but often there is some trigger that sparks a fire...such as with DV. When the abused wants to leave...that’s when violence is most likely to happen. Yet the abusive person was the same way the whole time and a lot went into that awful moment for a long time before it happened.
The mom does seem narcissistic tho. And with that the kids pretty much grow up either being the target of future abuse or another abuser just like their narc parent (or Aka he could’ve become controlling much like his mom was and maybe could not accept that the younger bro has a right to leave/quit the band, etc and do what he wanted with his life but Jacob likely saw it as the ultimate betrayal. It’s just hard to know tho such as which child would the narc mom designate as “Golden Child” and which one was a scapegoat and which one was a lost child and so on. Very often the GC as an adult becomes the most loyal and dedicated one to the abusive parent. So then if the mom was siding with the younger son to leave or quit the band, then he would’ve seen her as a betrayer also.
All speculation of course tho. All that time was like him being pressure cooked. If the steam never has a way out, at some point it’s just gonna blow all of a sudden.
Yeah I was thinking the same thing
You only get to be a care-free kid for such a short period of your life, and it’s so unbelievably sad when that’s stolen from someone. Everyone deserves to be a kid, we have the rest of their lives to be adults.
Ps- When you grow up in a very controlled environment, even once gaining “freedom,” it can still be very challenging because you often times feel lost. You’re so used to being lead, that when you suddenly have to take the lead, you don’t always know how to proceed. My mother was very controlling - nowhere near to this extent or in the same manners as this mother - but still it made becoming an adult fairly difficult for me and I eventually turned to drugs because of it. I felt like I just couldn’t figure anything out, because my mom had always told me what to do or just did it for me. Now that’s not me blaming her for my decisions. I made those choices, I knew better. I’m simply stating that newfound “freedom” isn’t always liberating in all facets of life.
Stockholm Syndrome, maybe? So sad!
This also happens to those that spend many years in jail or other institutions. They often go back bc they do not know how to live a free life
Did you know better or do you know better now? Make sure to give yourself grace(:
I am in the midst of my healing journey from my lovely traumatic and abusive upbringing. I’ve noticed that too, that being an adult is more difficult for me because I don’t know what I’m doing because I wasn’t taught, I was told. If I didn’t do what they wanted me to I would be *punished*
The whole do it, or else mentality my parents had screwed me up in so many ways..
Struggling a bit today I lost my husband in Iraq almost 12 years ago here to get some chaos out of my head … I hope everyone is having a good week I hope you can find some love and joy anywhere you can ❤A’HO ❤
I'm so truly sorry for your loss and I'm eternally grateful for his service I hope your day gets better and your Year goes amazingly
Thanks for the service and all the sacrifices you made as well. Sending love and hugs. 🫂
I am so sorry for you! I am sure he is free and happy. He is most likely looking down at you and seeing how much of an amazing person you have become. Stay strong, and I wish you happiness!
My heart and prayers go out to you. ❤️
Sending you love on this difficult day🖤
I grew up in a very similar household as the Stockdale family. I remember watching this episode with my mother who took Cathy's side. It's so unfortunate that they had to go through this.
My uncle and father were involved in a murder in a little town called Cannons Creek, Victoria, Australia. I would LOVE it if you did this case as I don't know half of it. It was big news here as it also involved a prison escape.
Huh? They were involved?
There is a girl named Samantha who does Australian cases because she rarely hears them. She is blonde, just stating as ain identifier. Samantha Marie I think. I haven't seen her upload in a hot minute.
@@hotmess9640 uncle served a few years on murder charges. I was only young so don't know much.
I am from Australia Adelaide and would love to hear about this case.
Ah ha! I always thought there was something "not right" or scripted about Wife Swap! Thank you, Danielle for exposing the truth.
Wow, what a tragedy. I remember this episode airing and feeling so much compassion for these boys. Glad you researched the facts about the TV show. I had no idea.
All "reality" shows are this way. They're all scripted to provide the highest ratings. Nothing is "real" on TV
First thing that came to my mind was did Jacob view his younger brother as going to leave the band as he was dating, and his two older brothers had left.
55:30 broke my heart at first, just seeing that bright, smiling face and knowing he's gone, but then I thought about what you said leading up to it. "He always wanted to make people laugh and smile." And I realized he was still doing that. He made me smile, even after he's passed away. I never knew him and he made me laugh and smile. I think he'd be happy about that.
I have watched this case covered before by other true crime RUclipsrs so I thought I knew most of the facts of this case but Danielle you really go above and beyond on your research. You dove into the case here so much more than I’ve seen it covered before and I learned so much more. Really great video, thank you so much for the content you give us! I have my notification bell on so I always know when there’s a new video up 😊
As someone who worked in Hollywood for years, may I say exactly how right you are about the scripted nature of “reality” TV.
"As someone who worked in Hollywood for years..."
My condolences.
@@BloodwyrmWildheart hey, at least I didn’t work at Disney. Those guys are scarred.
It's bad enough that these boys had no quality of life but they had to eat like crap too?? damn, Kathy had to take the joy out of everything!