Trump is a Disaster on Every Level, Musk Fights Illegal Drug Claims & Jimmy Adopted a Dog!
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- Опубликовано: 20 май 2024
- The University of Michigan beat the University of Washington in the college national championship game, Huskies QB Michael Penix Jr. set himself up for some pretty amazing headlines, we are in the middle of what is being called a “tripledemic,” Donald Trump was in court again today for a hearing related to his little insurrection problem, he is reported to be headed to New York on Thursday to personally deliver part of the closing argument in the $250 million civil fraud case against him, the 2024 race is reportedly a toss-up and Biden is pulling out all the bells and whistles to win voters back, Elon Musk is pushing back on concerns from members of his companies who believe he is on illegal drugs, Jimmy adopted a dog named Todd over the holiday break from the very nice people at Wags & Walks, and the monologue gets interrupted by an audience member observing “Dry January.”
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About Jimmy Kimmel Live:
Jimmy Kimmel serves as host and executive producer of Emmy®-nominated “Jimmy Kimmel Live!,” ABC’s late-night talk show. “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” is well known for its huge viral video successes, with over 15 billion views and more than 18 million subscribers on the show’s RUclips channel. Some of Kimmel’s most popular comedy bits include “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets,” “Lie Witness News,” “Unnecessary Censorship,” “Halloween Candy RUclips Challenge,” and music videos like “I (Wanna) Channing All Over Your Tatum.” 
Приколы
45 always sounds like a kid giving a book report when he never read the book 🤣🤣🤣
"Mister President, take the book out of your mouth. For the last time, that is not how you read."
With the occasional side order of the kid running for class president that promises things he can't do.
At least he can READ!!! "And the message said end of message ---- where am I?" SHART!
@@millenniumman75Can he? I'm actually a bit surprised to hear that.
Good for you, Jimmy!! Rescues are wonderful!! 🐕
"Could you imagine delivering a pizza to that house?"
I do utility disconnection in a red state. I do a lot of shutoffs at houses like that one. It's about as unpleasant as you'd expect it to be.
So glad I live in a blue state! Rarely even see a bumper sticker or flag 😂
How do you expect them to pay their bills? All those flags don’t pay for themselves!
Jimmy likes his pizza without hair.
@Ferinex_666 - They are forced to support the vulgarian's legal bills. You would think the electric company (the utility, not the TV show) would applaud them for it!!! /s
Perhaps you can request an armed guard?
Thank you so much, Molly and Jimmy for (1) Adopting a rescue dog, (2) adopting an adult dog, and (3) Showing the world that this is an OK thing to do. I hope it changes minds.
And (4) adopting a mixed breed dog instead of a purebred.
I second that! So many dogs need good homes. Especially the adults and seniors.
Heroes
The only dogs I've ever owned were rescue dogs.
(4) His trip to the lsIand
Obviously his name should be Todd Barkenstock
YES!!!
Underrated comment
If presidential immunity is a thing why did Nixon need a pardon
Thanks!!
I believe they were about impeached Nixon , by bothe houses . He resigned.
Times different then .
The Republican bull**** answer is that he didn’t; Ford just pardoned him as a symbolic gesture or something. But, of course, the reality is that presidential immunity is not a thing outside of certain official actions, inciting insurrection not among them.
I read, "presidential immaturity". Changes the whole meaning.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for adopting a shelter dog! One of the best things you've ever done, and you've done MILLIONS of great things.!
Best intro ever! That chicken teaches that child a lesson about harassment!!!
Wow!!! A Double Wide Trailer surrounded by Trump Flags.. What A SHOCK!! 😂😂
Now now. Not everyone who lives here in a trailer is a Trumpster but there does seem to be an unequal amount of them
@@misspurr2573 he said double wide
What is shocking is that the Dems always talk about helping the people. If that double wide was surrounded by Biden flags the government is probably paying for it.
My late best friend lived in a triple wide trailer and was a bleeding blue heart liberal & a current friend is active league of women voters and political activist, so I've had to change my assumptions on house trailer owners as a group.
Oh Shocking my comment was removed.
Biden should ABSOLUTELY RUN THAT AD!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
He can hardly walk let alone run.
@@FourTheFameBiden doesn’t need an escort down a low ramp, 🤡
@@FourTheFame - President Biden runs and bikes for miles at a time. tfg will waddle only as far as the closest golf cart.
@@MossyMozart 20 Years ago. You are delusional.
10:18 "Tod! Tod!" My mother had the same experience. Her hair in rollers, wearing a bathrobe, she ran from house to house calling "Bingo! Bingo!" Still cracks me up.
We need that ring camera footage of Jimmy chasing Todd! Come on neighbors!
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that you adopted a rescue dog.
No immunity... vote that guy off the island 🏝
Oh, you didn't get the Memo. You're not supposed to talk about the island boom here in this channel😂
The case was started 72 hours after his campaign was announced. How does no one see the writing on the wall. If he was not running, this wouldn't exist.
Jimmy’s mad he can’t go to the island anymore
Thank God Jimmy's back! I havnt laughed in awhile. 😅
My kids tried to pull that stunt with me. I told them "Santa won't give you anything your parents don't want you to have". Shut that down real quick
Thank you for rescuing a pup, Jimmy!
"The oath I took to defend the constitution gives me immunity for any crimes I commit against it."
Then he claims he never took an oath to defend the constitution! 😂
The Trump Doctrine: "Fail miserably, declare victory."
And PedoJoe ?
And the qweer Kenyan and Big Mike? (Dead chefs tell no tales)
Really? He's living rent free in your head. Remember who didn't take a Presidential salary? Man, you guys are brainwashed.
Biden Doctrine... "Errr....Errr....I like ice cream!"
Trump looked like a poor beaten dog. And scared.
@@locodiablo8130 this guy. You really got offended over a Trump joke? And then u make fun of Biden like we give a fck. We vote for politicians we don't fall in love with them, especially when it's a celebrity billionaire elite pretending to have the average Americans interest at heart
My husband and I have been together for 20 years, since I was 18. He's my best friend and ❤. They treat each other the same way we treat each other. They really love each other.
P.S. You two crack me up! I love your show.
5:40 The owner of that house complains that he can’t afford bread, rent, or eggs. He spent $10,000 on Trump flags to tell Biden how angry he is that he’s dirt poor and it’s all Biden’s fault.
Republican logic.
@whocares2087.1
They don't do the whole "thinking things through" thing.
Sounds very plausible to me. They are of the "less educated" so don't think much.
That's Republican math!
Stupid is as stupid does....
😂😂 We had a Uncle who had a dog named “Whiskey”. He hated when the dog got out because he would run through the neighborhood yelling “Whiskey” RIP UNCLE LARRY
The reason Bill Clinton didn't name his dog Spot. Didn't want to run though the neighborhood yelling Come, Spot!
@@jennypulczinski7204 old humor jenny, you should be watching fox
Sounds like a cool uncle to me, my uncles is not that cool, but as a uncle myself I try to be cool for my niece and nephew.
Funny Val. Friend had dog named Hoot. Walking around yelling Hoot!
That's funny
Trump doing closing arguing....😊....😂. Bruh.....thats comedy gold!!!!!
I love Todd! My adopted dog was Morton Elway and he loved to get into the trash. Got to love them❤
My high school’s mascot was Trojans and a rival school was Seaman. Oh the fun they had with headlines after every athletic event.
Haha you have to be kidding me!
Lol
My high school mascot was Trojans too! 🤣🤣
They would often play the Bears down the road 😂😂.
"Seaman score in OT due to Trojan defensive line pinhole "
Note to Jimmy's neighbours to get those ring cams going😂.
Also, getting ready for the dog jokes 😂😂 1st year especially
My rescue dog used to do that!Rescues often try to escape and find their way back home. It will take a little while for Todd to feel at home but he will eventually ❤
Jimmy, do more with your announcer. HE'S GREAT! ❤❤❤
These fools first defense was," you can't tried me for Jan 6th because I was impeached and it would be double jeopardy, " and now is, " I have immunity because I wasn't impeached all the way." 😟🤢🤮
Makes ya mad right? lol he’s right!! 😂
Jimmy kimmel the kiddy fiddler
@blueskiesforever114 so you agree that presidents have absolute immunity, what stops Biden from doing exactly what Trump wants to do? By that logic Biden can now have Trump assassinated and since democrats rule the senate it would be fine and Biden couldn't be tried. It's literally stated in the US constitution that even if the president is impeached by congress and tried by the senate that the president is still liable for federal suits. I'm not even American and I know this.
@@blueskiesforever114 you completely missed the point that he's contradicting himself. So if he's "right," which one is it? I guess you just wanted an excuse to go "u mad bro?"
Wouldn’t it be gratifying if Trump came out of court to talk to the media and the press wasn’t there? I can’t wait to go and entire news cycle without having to hear his name.
I don't think the media, including Jimmy, realize how little I care about what he's got going on..
The one word that scares DJT is Who?
If only that could be arranged. Can you imagine the tantrum. He'd literally fill his diaper.
@@mariemelansongundy-vx4ox "Obama" is the word that is a name. He was so scared of him that he doubted Obama's birth certificate.
He's so nuts.
Aaron Rogers needs to say NO to drugs. Perfect fit for wacko ESPN. Total embarrassment !!!
During impeachment 2, his lawyer argued that he cannot be held accountable by the Senate since he will be a private citizen and will be subject to criminal prosecution for which he has no immunity. He got acquitted with that argument in his favor.
Biden should 100% run that exact commercial! Seriously! With his real voice.
Maybe he will.
He does need to make it a part of his campaign 😵💫😵💫✌️
No cap
Why? To sound like an idiot?
Have Obama voice it done
So great you adopted!!!❤🐾
Now all you need is a rescue cat !
"...because for whatever reason, people are angry that I've done such a good job?"
*TOO* damned funny!
Ha! The audience bit was sooo NORM MACDONALD!! Hilarious 😂
Jimmy please do a roll of all the hilarious names you've called trump over the years .... they are hilarious 😂
He did that right before the 2020 election, set to music. It was fantastic, but it's probably time for an update.
I just love Jimmy Kimmel and Guillermo❤
You know what I love more is are future president donald trump🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
They were PERFECT points! The most beautiful POINTS ! 🤔🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣🤣
That campaign ad actually killed it
You don't need to worry about immunity if you don't commit crimes.
You know, I used to have respect for the Republican party. Then again, there was also a time I thought chocolate milk came from brown cows. You grow up.
Still waiting to see if you will
I come from a republican family. And used to lean that way. But as soon as dump was " elected" with Russian help, and the spineless cowards in the republikkkan leadership cowtowed to him, I registered independent. I've sworn a vow to
NEVER VOTE REPUBLIKKKAN in my lifetime.
@@user-ul7sb9sy3z They said "used to". So yeah I guess they did. Now we're just waiting for you to learn reading comprehension so you can appreciate a bad joke.
@@parrisprice5892 - Welcome to the light!
Hey Jimmy, welcome to the joys of having a high-energy dog.
Just spit out my coffee ☕️ with the “lawyer Joe Camel” quip 😂
“The least I’m entitled to is immunity.” WTF? He thinks absolute immunity is THE LEAST he’s entitled to. 🤯
I mean he has been entitled his whole life. I am not surprised
This is so traumatizing to hear. I just drove by a group of red hats waving those big FJB and American flags on the back of their monster 4x4s and I'm absolutely terrified at what I'm witnessing. Vote blue to save our democracy. 💙💙
😂
Where?
You know we don't have a democracy....we have a Republic. And the MAGA people are not your enemy...they believe in free and FAIR elections....not like we got in 2020. You DO know that Biden wasn't fairly elected...right? But you don't care as long as your guy wins...right?
Lol Yea vote blue because Portland is doing great, just like San Francisco.
Lol @ terrified also. You’re beyond saving.
Todd ran out the door like every dog that I've had and like the dog I have now.
Yep!! I've had pets that could "Hat Trick" professional hockey goalies in full gear.. they'd be thankful for the mask and helmet because that would be the launching point if no viable gap.. pretty sure the kitties would do it outta spite... then of course be expected to be immediately let back in.. just to prove a point.. hehe..
Be Well!! 😃
DoorDasher!
My dog, a mini-pinscher mix, is definitely a runner. Apparently the breed is known for it. So, Chloe is on leash at all times when we're out, and I always have to watch for her when I open the door.
I have an elderly rat terrier who will still try to make a run for it on her arthritic knees! We have been together 11 years & she is delightfully spoiled. I think some dogs just love to run & explore. 🤷♀️🦮🥰
Trump putting his 2nd grade education to work.
Donald trump gonna be president again god bless you🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
He reminds me of the kid who didn’t read a single page of the assignment giving an answer in class.
"We had the best airports in the Civil War so we won" ~ CONALD DUMP at a speech in an Air Force hanger event. His cult still claiming "He's the most hungliest smartliest stinkbomb like us we've ever had!"
But, but he’s winning in the polls!
An Indiana Repub feels ppl dont need anything pass an 8th grade education. Or at least that's what his child labor bill says... let kids drop out at 8th grade and go to work
Running down the street yelling "Todd" hahahahaha!!!!
Once again, Trump didn't even bother to read his Cliff Notes 🤣😂🤣😂
That's because he can't read.
Legend has it , little Jimmy's personal chef helps write his jokes.
Judge: So you're saying, presidential immunity would mean Biden could declare Trump an enemy of the state and ship him straight to Gitmo because Biden has never been impeached?
Turmp's lawyer: Yes....NO! NO NONONO...Uh oh, I pulled a Rudy.
Trump, best President ever.
@@lukeskywalker902Geez, you need to raise your standards.
he doesn't need to declare that he is an enemy of the state
@@lukeskywalker902 cant wait till he wins again and paints the white house orange
Wow Luke. The force isn’t strong with you at all.
Good on you Billy! 😂😂😂😂👍👍
Lovely Billy❤...you got a smooth negotiator.... happy for them 🎉✌️😎
"You callin' me a chicken?"
Had an Australian Shepherd named Sweetheart and one night I was calling her inside at the same time that a neighbor's boyfriend was at her door. I yelled "Sweetheart come here!" and he turned to me and yelled "I'm here to see my girlfriend!". Sweetheart came and I just went inside without even trying to explain the situation.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Good thing it didn't escalate 😉.
Lmao!!!
Met a woman at the park whose dog was named sexy. She had to tell it a lot. It was always funny
My friend’s boyfriend’s son had an Australian Border collie mix. It bit his nose off….thought was a fluke….you know getting in between two dogs. Then it bit her ear off while they were sitting on the sofa. Really sweet dog but …..😢
I think my son made the same argument as Trump..."You guys keep saying NO to things because I'm the greatest kid in the world!!!"
😂🤣👍
Got news for you:
You're failing horribly as a parent.
@@mikelytou Excellent background work for what, I am sure, is a fundamentally sound statement.
@@mikelytou Mike's up to bat...SWING and miss!🤷♂
@@mikelytouYou cult are compulsively driven to stand up for Rump with every comment. Strange.
Wow, glad you guys took the time but glad you are back in the saddle! Another great show! Thanks for reminding Aaron that its not nice to lie to your team mates nor to America even though the color Orange does and some people actually support it. Jimmy doesn't lie and money doesn't make you smart nor a football helmet.
J K! You are funny 😅😅😅😅 on every level 😂😂😂
If wants to claim immunity, he is agreeing he committed a crime.
No, that's not logical. Trump is guilty, of course, but even an innocent person might try for immunity since it means they can avoid a trial in the first place.
@@terri6854yep, he's guilty as hell
This is a guy that doubles down on his "truths" and never admits fault.@@terri6854
@@headcode Guilty of going to the lsIand?
So happy Kimmel is back. Worst part of christmas is losing my late shows lol
Bot account identified.
kimmel sucks
@jeswilde6188
Every view and comment you make helps Jimmy and the algorithm of his channel.🤡
You sound like you could do with less late shows. May I recommend to you Conan needs a friend podcast? Much better.
@jeswilde6188 you're jealous.
My heart breaks for those folks who actually believe him!!!! WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
of course you mean Kimmell
@@The1djdavenah he means that celebrity billionaire elite that has destroyed the Republican party and now ur stuck with Boebert and MTG. The billionaire elite that will walk away from politics and leave you guys with his mess. But hey, it was worth it for $2 gas, eggs, and milk for a couple of years
Jimmy is tanking.
Whatever you say fourty nine niners
Seeing is believing and you know no one like what’s happening. The polls speak for themsel😂
The Bud Lite commercial in the middle of Joe Biden was timed perfectly.
This is the beginning of Jimmy loving Todd so much and talking about him in each show. I can't wait
I was hoping they'd actually show a photo of the dog in the video!
jimmy took one too many trips to the island
Having Guillermo be your Dry January buddy is like having Charlie Sheen be your NA sponsor.
😂😂😂😂😂
Fwiw, dude's been sober a while, but I get it. 😊
HAHA, you have Not Sure as your display picture! Love that movie
I love Guillermo a little bit. He is great for your show!
Remember when Lionel Hutz had David Crosby as his sober pal?
Very funny monologue 😂😂😂 todd...todd todd 😂😂😂😂😂
This has cracked me completely up. 😂
If trump wins the case, then Biden can get the seal team to take trump out and not be prosecuted 😂😂
ONLY if his party controls the congress
That should have happened 9 years ago in 2015 b4 the 2016 election. But it's to late now.
The judges forgot to ask that key question to Trump's lawyers and even Trump himself.
@@wintertrooper7918 actually Trump's lawyers are arguing that a president has to be impeached and removed to be proosecuted, so as long as he resigned before they could do that, he'd be untouchable.
But Biden would never do that. This is where morality and integrity come into play.
💪🏼💙👍🏼
You make me giggle,Jimmy! ❤😂👍
Omg “tanchurian” . That made my day.
".....big, powerful points." Get that poor man a thesaurus.
Welcome back Jimmy and enjoy your new puppy😊
The judge rang in Odor in the court then the trail began
Jimmy! U r brilliant!
The Sumo Satsuma is a fantastic source of great jokes...
The dry January bit was funny, but as a recovering alcoholic, that was rough to watch. I was hoping for a happy ending. DTs are hell!!
You're recovering? How long you got under your belt? I'm not an alcoholic but I'm in recovery for crystal and I've quit smoking 🚬 for.... I think...5 months. 😅 I miss my smokes more than the ice for real.
I can imagine this bit must hit hard for anyone who ever realised they had a problem with alcohol. Everybody on Earth has some aspect of life he or she struggles to control (and most of us are too ashamed to even acknowledge it), but when your brain chemistry is such that that thing ends up being alcohol, you have your work cut out for you indeed.
Hang in there Buddy!
At least you’re not addicted to supporting Trump, there’s probably no DT in the world for those brains!
Stay strong. It takes a while but it is absolutely bloody worth it and nothing and no-one is important enough to go back down that hole 💜💜
@@arhafrench5319 almost 2 years. Thanks. I'm alive again. 🙋♂️ but cheers to those who can enjoy in moderation.
Congrats on your sobriety! Each day you're sober is precious and you're worth it.
I love how Jimmy needles Trump!
love it even more that he lives in that little orange head, rent free. Go go Jimmie, go!!!
Great show Jimmy!!
Don’t conflate alcoholism with “dry January” cmon now.
Trump coming out after that disastrous day in court and saying it was a fantastic day gave me flashbacks to election night when he come out after Joe had overtaken him to say that he had won.
Hang on that J6 theory and ah, go get your 10th booster ... hopefully it does what they want it to do.
35,000 invalid votes were counted! They didn’t live in Fulton County!
Joe overtook Trump alright and drove the US right into the dirt.
Jimmy, I hate to be the one to tell you, but this year February has twenty NINE days as it’s a leap year! 🤦♂️😉
Great story about Todd the dog! 🤣
Congratulations upon getting a dog! You will usually be glad you did, and your family has a friend for its short life!
Keep up the great work Jimmy and crew😊
Dogs are awesome 😎💯
Regarding that opening video.....don't F with roosters/geese, they're basically small dinosaurs.
Facts..
Or setting hens.
Surprised Jimmy said 28 days in Feb. there’s 29 this year! He’s usually always so correct ajout those things
Indeed. I think him and his writers have been too busy with - everything - as to take a look at February's calendar.
It is still only 28 days in the southern hemisphere
I know since the 28th is my birthday.
Jimmy doesn't think anything, he just reads from a teleprompter whatever his writers tell him to say.
He has never had an original thought in his life.
Yes it is a leap year this year, falling on every 4th year, same as summer olympics and Presidential election.
Dry January??? I haven't had a drink of alcohol in 38 years since September 24 1985!!! Dry January is a breeze.
Jimmy Kimmel. You gotta love a guy, these days, who uses such a platform to fight effing eeeevil!!😎
Our dog is named "Mountain Tim Chewbacca"😂 my kids named him
I once went through the neighborhood looking and yelling for a cat named Bob searching through bushes Etc a couple hours later a woman knocked on my door with Bob in her arms
Aw! Nice neighbors!
Uhhh... okay
@@69mag lol
Bless you for rescuing; another reason to love you! ❤
Big, powerful points. The best points. Amazing points.
So pleased the Kimmels went with adopting a rescue dog instead of buying one. Well done.
Bro i wish Jimmy Kimmel was in NY, i would go see his show . Jimmy aint afraid to speak up 🤝💪👍
Just don't say anything back to him He doesn't seem to take that very well.
New sketch: Gettin' Wet with Guillermo
Absolutely love the Walter Payton reference! ❤️
We Love you Jimmy Kimmel ❤️ You're the best! Keep it up Hysterical ✨
Guillermo to the rescue again! My idol!
Right? Love that guy
@@SurgeCess Super
Keep up the good work 👍
Awesome! Love your show.