"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment" - Marcus Aurelius
Here are my best tips for preventing tilt: 1. Don't engage with people who play really badly or flame in chat. Just mute them and pretend they don't exist. Typing or spam pinging at them just breaks your focus on makes you play worse. 2. Improving doesn't mean winning every game. You can learn just as much or more from losses because it exposes your weaknesses. 3. Knowing you don't deserve to win just because you want to win. People go crazy and start blaming teammates and the match making for their loses when they think winning and climbing is something they deserve to do, not something they earn with hard work. 4. Accept that mistakes are common and expected. You can't change the mistakes of others, you can only change how to respond to them. Plus, the opponents are probably making the same mistakes so learn to use those to your advantage. 5. Accept that you are the rank you are. Stop worrying about not being sometime else. If you consistently improve, you'll naturally climb just because the other players at your MMR cannot beat you anymore. Plus, you shouldn't be so mad because you "loss to these stupid players". They are trying to win just as much as you do, and deserve the win if they played better as a team than your team.
@@PecoMid I think that's a smart move for some people. Personally, I still like to have some idea of what players are saying in chat, at least in higher ELO, as messages are usually just game related things like calling summoner cooldowns or deciding lane assignments. Personally I don't think chat gets as toxic in high ELO all that often unless games are going really poorly because players at that ELO are more likely to own up to their mistakes, shut up, and play to win. So often players will just type "my bad" in chat for dying instead of spam pinging their jungler or flaming in chat. Although, just muting chat until someone gets to masters might be worth it for their mental in the long run.
@@coolbrotherf127a lot of games do go quite poorly. Also masters+ is like 0.1% of the playerbase xd and even then from watching streamers(i'm only d2) it seems it can get very toxic there as well.
coach, you can't understand how much I needed this video and all your others at the exact moment they get uploaded. I can't describe how much of a positive influence you have on everyone's health. Thank you, stay safe.
Hi Coach Curtis! My boyfriend and I watch you together a lot and he sent this to me because I tend to get really tilted at myself. I’ve never flamed teammates because all of the blame ends up being directed so harshly at myself and I honestly teared up in the first thirty seconds of the video because that is me word for word. I realized only recently after having an honest conversation with myself that my problem was fear of capping out or some insecurity that I have some innate issue with being unable to learn or improve, and it’s been a trend with hobbies I’ve had my whole life that involved any sort of growth (art, piano, sports, etc). Even down to part where you talk about the “I don’t know what to look for” self-commentary and chalking any progress up to LP, you summed it all up so well and I think it’ll be good to take even more time to reflect and try to level out those high highs and low lows. I know it’ll take time but I’ll give this video another listen since it really spoke to me. Love your content as always- thank you so much for all of the hard work you put in for everything you do and for making me feel really seen and heard💕
One thing I learned early (from Shok actually) is to make realistic goals, every day. Some days I focus on CS, the game can get to a loss but if my CS was good it counts as a win for me. You can make those tiny goals for all kinds of things like warding, roams, character mechanic etc. It's a learning Arc in every aspect even at a loss. Made me very mindful and less angry about what other people do.
I think shifting my language to a behavior-level rather than identity level is a _huge_ bridge towards having a growth mindset. Finally something I can actually, with some effort, implement and grow into a habit. I need to do that asap, because I always go hard on myself saying _I'm_ trash because I know I could do better but do bad, then get frustrated because I didn't know why I did bad or why things felt impossible or why things turned out the way they did. I don't know what causes what, so the only answer is that _I'm_ the issue, and I simply feel horrible. Anger, frustration, despair. A Growth Mindset is obviously really important, and I've known that for years, however the hardest thing for me is to shift into a Growth Mindset after having such a Fixed Mindset from comparing myself to better people and putting myself down my entire life. Again, even though I knew I should have a growth mindset, I never knew what to do or _how_ to shift into a growth mindset no matter where I looked. That made it feel like, again, I was the issue. Apparently everyone else already knows, why don't I know, why can't I figure it out? That lead to an even worse Fixed Mindset. There's a number of things that happened that made me have such a mindset in the first place growing up, but the important thing is that I'm the one _keeping_ this negative mindset. Even if I got better, I would always have excuses that oh X person wasn't even playing the game often anymore, or Y person isn't even pursuing this hobby seriously and they were that good, and Z person is so much better than I am in much less time so I'm obviously worthless I can't ever improve or get truly skilled (even though I _know_ my potential is so much higher, especially when I experienced doing very well in the occasional flow state when I first try something new and have no expectations for myself) It is exhausting. Hopefully I will rewire my brain to having a growth mindset, and literally change my life for the better.
This video even helps me not even in league but also in real life. The point „learn how to speak to yourself“ is crucial for confidence/self believe. Thank you!
This is like therapy for league players with ptsd 😂 Spot on with the high vs toxic standards though. That part made me instantly realize how much im hurting my potential. I changed alot of my standards on my gameplay and i feel like im learning a shit ton more and actually having fun playing league again, regardless of win/loss
i'm a val coach who plays this game casually here and there with friends. but i love your messages you send out and i've learned a lot from you! thanks for the content
I too used to be a very toxic player. It took me like 8+ months, but I never flame in chat or mental boom in game. If someone makes a mistake, they probably already feel bad about it, no need to put them down more. Focusing on my own gameplay and not worrying about my teammates mistakes made me rank up dramatically.
Loved the video, de tools you intend yo give, the wisdom... shows you´ve been reflecting a lot, and for that you have my admiration. You motivated me to play more and to have less pressures and painfull standards
VERY high quality content! I love how open, honest and thereby also vulnerable you are with your rational analyses, it takes a lot of work and self-awareness and growth to have this attitude. Thanks for being a great role model! I think it's so so so important in this community.
I think that another big thing is that there is this idea that if you are upset then you should vent out your anger, because that makes you feel better but according to every single scientific study on the subject, that feeling of positivity after venting your anger actually reinforces your brain that anger is a good emotion. Instead you should slow your breathing step away from your computer or whatever else youre doing, since this is a good advice for life in general and try to calm yourself down for example by trying to understand what made you angry and reasoning with yourself as to why anger isnt actually the right way of reacting to that situation.
Perfect, decided to start emphasizing improvement over the climb and this video pops up. Always love your videos, thank you for all the hard work you put in!
I am SO glad to see you talk about the fixed versus growth mindsets. I've been reading Mindset by Carol Dweck and every time she talks about fixed mindset I'm reminded of people raging out in League. Developing a growth mindset is great, both for your Ranked climb AND just generally for your life.
I don't comment on videos usually, but it feels like I need to comment on this one as some sort of a promise to myself to do better and take away some points highlighted in this video. I'm extremely toxic and I get tilted easily and I really want to fix it, but it feels like I'm not myself when I get frustrated in league. Once the game is over I feel like shit for other way I talk to my team and for the things I type to them, and for having such a weak mental that if my jng decides to take my wave I start running down immediately and the game is over in my head, which could've easily be saved if I stayed composed and focused on my next plans. Thank you for this video Curtis.
the start of the video is really a great point. i have been hardstuck d4-d3 for the past 3 years, and no matter what role i played i could never get out of d3, always going on 10-15 game loss streaks after a bit because i start feeling like i have no clue what im doing and that everyone else is just better than me. this season was no different, i demoted all the way to emerald 3 by tiltqueuing, quit the game for 2-3 weeks, came back and have climbed back up with great success, no longer having ranked anxiety, and for the first time ever really being able to climb back up after such a loss streak, i believe i can start climbing because i don't tilt anymore and can look at games objectively.
I was a league of legends player, now I am mainly just playing Heroes of The Storm, I find this videos really helpful as I can transfer mostly all of what you are talking about to my own game. Some stuff about what you said about managing expectations have helped me a lot; many times I find myself frustrated or helpless when I loss on games I felt I had 0 impact after playing against the top 10 players in my region. Currently I am in front of this wall of not being able to enter the top 100 and I feel like you stated the main reason. Thanks again for helping me to not be this hard on myself (it will take me a time to be able to apply it) and thanks for helping me manage my expectations.
This was an amazing video. Somehow i felt like crying on the fixed mindset part. You went on how exactly i've been feeling. Thank you so much for this gem of a video
Actually love this! I’m just a casual gamer but I applied this to my career as a teacher. I began to think…”why don’t I get upset if a lesson isn’t going well?” And it’s because I know how to learn from what’s around me and modify for next time. Well done coach!
Thank you a lot for your video, I've been stuck on Diamond 2 but nowadays I'm seeing League as something that I can enjoy, and I'm learning a lot for it. Your video helped me consolidate that. I think that for now I'll just keep improving. You are a good content creator.
Thank you for making this video been stuck for a long time now, kinda ending in not playing the game for close to 8 months now as frequently as I did. Gonna take the time to reflect for a few days. Thanks so much
It can be hard knowing the win-con for a lane/trade or all in but not being on the same page as my Support, but I need to learn how to adapt. Edit: I should add that being humble and open to the idea that I DONT understand the matchup is also a good idea...haha. Objectively though, I do think Support is the most boosted role, with the caveat that good warding/vision control is harder than people realize.
taking wins for granted was the thing that really spoke to me. when i queue up, i often go in with the expectation of a great game, even tho i know thats not how it works, but just queue until u get a great game and quit afterwards for the day / a few hours /whatever. i only play league to enjoy it nowadays anyway, but that is one part that kept me from enjoying it, apart from the community being the community. i stopped playing for 2 years, swapped servers from EUW to EUNE (which was the best thing i ever did), but i was never able to just queue up day in day out while having fun anymore. maybe this cant bring that back, but at least help with my approach. there also were many things i basically knew in the back of my mind, but i really felt the change in my brain. especially when u talked about rank/LP being only used to show to others how good we are, i basically felt how i detached skill level from the displayed rank in my brain. that might also be why i never cared about rank and mainly played normal games. but a lot of things now make so much more sense, thank you.
Really love the video this helped so much. I didn't realize how bad my mental was until this video (even though I never type toxic things). Originally I thought my issues were my play but before that, I needed to focus on my mental and I got to implement this first. Appreciate the videos and podcast
Taking a vacation from multiplayer games and work totally resets my mental when I find myself caring about what other people are doing. I have a cycle now of rotating between competitive, single player, co-op, then back to competitive. A fresh mental gets me further than any amount of hard stuck self reviewing. My theory behind this is that the single player games are a detox they can either be a casual vacation, or drive personal performance depending on genre. For example, Neon White is a shooter and platformer, but the levels are set up like a time-trial, you drill personal performance. ARPGs get you in the mindset of being mindful of how to build and situational awareness. Cozy farming sims like Sandrock/Stardew get you to be more efficient with your time. If you take the interesting parts of these games and apply what you learn to multiplayer games, you can grow a bit faster than your competition. Not to mention you start chipping away at that steam library bucket-list. Co-Op games get me into the mindset of teamwork. This is where I take the focus off of personal performance and focus on applying what I have to support others. I usually time my competitive returns to fall on new games or seasons, where everyone is on an equal knowledge playing field for the mental advantage.
21:50 really resonates with me. It is a very jarring experience coming from FPS games leaving corpses wherever I went to being a cannon minion in League.
having an emotional reaction is proof that you are improving, and then once you reach the top 0.1% you long for that feeling again. alongside this, the more you think you know, the less you know in incomprehensible ways which leads to boredom/burnout, or you persevere again
I don't often tilt, but i do sometimes, i will implement all these things and see what it brings me in my ranked journey 🙏 I will also keep this comment updated every month to let you guys know how it's going Right now I'm emerald 2 (6-9), Masters last split.
I just wish there was a game mode where you can play qualitative matches of your elo, without losing points. Normal games, flex, aram all of those game modes give me matches with iron/bronze/silver/gold players when im platinum and i cant play them without hard stomping even on champs i never played before, so the only thing i can play for fun is ranked which is conflicting with the competitive aspect because if I want to have more fun, ill do more mistakes and thus be more likely to lose which is incredibly frustrating so im kind of stuck in this loop where i cant enjoy the game with friends because the lobbys are boring and in ranked i have to give my absolute best to not lose my rank if you climb through all those ranks its very much not fun to do it again and its very boring and time consuming at times. I think the best way is to just make another account that your rank is not emotionally bonded to and just climb on that until your able to get yourself out of the current one because if its not your main you get way less tilted to loses and get a more objective view
Hey Curtis! Probably other people have suggested this before, but I really would love to see you guys do an interview with Azzapp for the BBC! He preaches a lot of the same principles and mindset that you promote: no tilt, playing your best and not minding losses, etc. Cheers!
League is incredibly difficult, just like any other competitive game. Being better than someone who has put 10000 hours into the game will take, on average, 10001 hours of hard work. Same as chess, tennis, go (both the boardgame and the CS variant), and anything else you can improve at.
Translation: new and or players still learning characters will suffer at the hands of those with no life. How do you kill that which has no life? Disengagement. The vampires will wither and rot without fresh hosts to suckle.
Mute all and think about starts. As a support I do a lot of shot calling anyway and find sometimes all it takes is good information sharing to bring randos together. Or go the other way and stop trying to give people a heads up if they don't respect the warning. Then focus on my own basics.
Cant relate to enjoying the game in the earlier seasons. Back in season 3 i was slamming caitlyn lanes every game hard trading every moment i could because of a range advantage just to die to the jungler on repeat because i had 0 respect for the game. Taking the game more seriously and having respect for the multiple aspects of the game has at worst got me to d4. Ty for the Video Curtis, great content once again !
Going on with the "brutal conversation piece" if anyone trying to "help" you in anyway, whether that be a coach a friend who is the same/higher/lower elo, does not matter. If they are not willing to have these conversations and you are being very honest but non aggressive with your words, then they are not there to help you. They are there to control you.
A dear friend of mine could really use this. Playing with them is so much fun, but they can get in their head and it's hard to see them swing from high highs to low lows.
Started climbing a couple of months ago, two weeks ago I reached my current peak of Plat 3 from Bronze 4. I haven't returned to rank since because I now find myself for some reason getting tilted very easily in norms, mostly from/towards my teammates. It's as if I reached this spot and think I'm better than everyone around me and all of their mistakes are "obvious" and "losing" and they send me spiraling and just want to FF constantly. This is happening on norms and definitely don't want to take this headspace into ranked. Perfect timing on this video
In my experience I can just climb a division per split, I completly smufred platinum las split and got stuck in emerald 4 and this one I smurfed trough emerald and peaked diamond 3 also climbed in two other accounts to diamond but I think I will just wait for next split for master bc It feels like a mental barrier
not just that, but simply keep playing while retaining that elo or skill and not caring about going further. i am emerald and platinum for multiple seasons but i am just basically a gold player that has more map and enemy knowledge than most due to me playing jungler for a few years and i still prefer lower elo due to stuff being lower pressure and it ALWAYS having come backs. on anything close to emerald the moment a irelia or zed is fed the game is fucking over they HARD CARRY everyone by just being on every single team fight or hunting for kills until the game ends its absurdly horrible to play like that.
tilt is the thing i struggle with most. need to hear more about it. would be cool if you could link up with a therapist or dbt specialist to talk about it too
It pains me too much to watch these vids now a day because I can't play. I wish I could go back on the league journey with the way Curtis approach this. But shoulder/back issues pop right back in as soon as I play league in a pretty drastic way, even 1 game. Time for me to say goodbye to this game I've been playing for 15 years.
I find that I play a lot better and do a lot better in terms of tilt by setting a goal for that game other than winning. If my goal is to keep 8 cs/min, I'm much less emotionally attached to the idea of winning the game and, as a result, I play better and win more games.
I think one of my number 1 tilt cause is expecting people to be teamplay oriented and cooperating and it hurts when it shatters, ironically I as an ADC put more effort into helping teammates than even most supports I encounter (let alone other roles) ... only for them to watch me die repeatedly without caring to help a single time, even if I ping or politely ask (beg) for help
That aside, I plan trying to communicate more, e.g. talk with my support at the start if they plan to play aggressively or defensively etc, with jungle if they plan to gank/drake etc to prevent clash of expectations
What tilts me a lot in this season is, i like playing scaling champs that have very bad early skirmishes. However current meta is too heavily relies on early 2v2s and 3v3s. So when i don't move to every bad play my jungler makes i just get flamed and i lose my mind.
im already untiltable, after 4x inting lane + winning my lane, only thing i type to chat while my nexus is getting bonked: oh, so that's how this match-up is played like
You are describing my last week after i went from 800lp down to 450lp while the games just felt unplayable weird and i was beyond tilted playing 16 games with 11 loses
Tilt is a planet deep in the subconscious with it's own gravity and everything. As you approach planet Tilt and the horror of crash landing on its surface and being stranded there in losers queue and eventually abandoning your account to perish on that barren surface you have to make a choice. Either crash and die or accelerate full speed towards the planet and use its own gravity to slingshot arounnd it at the last minute propelling you faster and further than you could have gone without planet tilt. This is the true secret to mastering tilt.
Something that has helped me take accountability and curious to learn more is asking myself why are these out side factors tilting me…intially it sounds like i’m blaming my team and in a sense yes i am at the end of the day if they didn’t make the mistakes or they listened to my input I wouldn’t be tilted but underneath that what im really asking myself why am allowing this outside force to control me and how can i get that sense of control back? What did i do wrong to put myself in a position where now these outside forces are influencing me and my decision making
I stopped playing competitive games and went into single player games, where if I fail it's my fault and not tilt/balance/cheats/matchmaking/idiots/etc
Not tilting is obviously super important for your ranked escapades but i just want to say that sometimes it's not enough. Sometime you just need to call it a day and be fine with it. I was grinding ranked and my win rate was pretty good and i gave every match 100%. On one fateful day i got a string of like 9 unwinnable games. By unwinnable i mean my team voting to surrender, having multiple AFKs/rage quitters and just games where our team doesn't have at least 1 more competent player (i think 2 competent players can carry most low elo games). The majority of these were AFKs and surrenders though maybe 3 of those 9 were a proper team diff. I wasn't mad, i just kept hitting play again because i recognized i couldn't do much into it and i kept it pushing. After the 9th loss however (which is weird because my mental is unscathed), i was wondering what the issue was. I have chalked it up to just bad luck. Just wanted to say bad luck happens and the solution might to be to accept defeat and log off.
I have a situation where all my friends are higher-ranked (Emerald) than me, and when I play with them, it’s a terrible experience. They flame me if I don’t give them kills (I play APC bot) or if I don’t help them carry, basically they want me to be their support, and they insult me all the time because of the champions I play. Essentially, they don’t let me play my way and enjoy the game. When I play alone, things usually go well because I’m matched with people of a similar skill level, but with my friends, it’s just not enjoyable.
force them to change or don't play with them whatsoever. i am emerald and platinum for multiple seasons and even if my friends were dogshit silver i didnt forced them to do that i just carried the game because i farmed and that was the end.
I've been on tilt for 13 years and still hard stuck silver 1. Main adc but try play other roles and then end up quiting the game time to time. #insanity at its finest.
I am still a very toxic player - I don't flame my teammates or opponents, but I flame myself constantly, and get tilted by anything that goes wrong whenever I try to make a call or a play. I end up spiraling in this mindset where I just tilt myself, and only League does this to me.
Evil game meant for nasty people. You being mad means you are vehemently opposed to this philosophy. Doesnt take much thinking process. Do i a: play a game that i enjoy or b: play a game which is sporadically enjoyable which requires homework and research to 'git gud' and not suffer migraines or get an early heart attack from unnecessary stress. Gee. Fuc king really makes you think huh?
Hello coach Curtis. I've started to be more laid back. So i've started to notice that i become angry when i lose the game. Feel arrogant when i win. I dont know if it is my messed up belief sysyem, or if it is something natural. But i am trying my best to just enjoy the process instead of caring about the outcome.
Highly agree league of legends is a hard game. Just come back after a break and started at prctise tool, and can't even cs properly. :) But i will practise anyway. I have a question: You said you played many games with bots and normals before even touching rankeds. Do you think if i want to practise for rankeds playing arams is also usefull? Where else to practice? I honestly don't even want to play normals because i feel like there is too much to think about and they take too much time.
When do you actually recommend to ignore past games as a result of an unlucky sequence of events? And how would you identify when something is lucky? High percentage plays vs low percentage plays?
Go outside. Talk to your neighbors. You don't need any starter items, though i do recommend you pre kit your champion with a shower and toothbrushing. You, and most people who play mobas, are severely chronically online. Bad people with nasty habits which breed even more foul dispositions.
Hey, what's with the posters in the background, is he a fan of Once Upon a time in Hollywood by Quentin Tarantino, does anybody know ? I've seen that movie like 5 times its amazing
Why does it feels a lot more easier to get to a high elo, if u've done it before in the past? Is there a kind of mental unlock knowing that u could do it before?
I know it's wrong buut I like to play league while i play some other chill game in the background , that's how i avoid tilt! I just died? no time to cry abt it, gotta kill some goblins! reached plat like that x)
lol I’m the exact opposite: I keep binge queuing losing 6-7 games in a row because I refuse to quit when I am losing. Maybe I should be more afraid to lose my lps 😅
get another account and play through your elo until your so good that you can escape it in no time and through that develop less emotional bond with your rank
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"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment" - Marcus Aurelius
“You do not lose, you only win or learn”
But what if they are shooting guns at me🤔
@@doktormozg idk if revoking distress will help u at that point
@@griffen1k ahh yes stoicism, the most impractical and unrealistic philosophy for humans…
@@theexodusofgamers clearly you don't understand it
Curtis is secretly giving league players therapy and making them better people in game and irl and I absolutely love it
all i see is a receeding hairline, parasocial, gaming addicted little man
Here are my best tips for preventing tilt:
1. Don't engage with people who play really badly or flame in chat. Just mute them and pretend they don't exist. Typing or spam pinging at them just breaks your focus on makes you play worse.
2. Improving doesn't mean winning every game. You can learn just as much or more from losses because it exposes your weaknesses.
3. Knowing you don't deserve to win just because you want to win. People go crazy and start blaming teammates and the match making for their loses when they think winning and climbing is something they deserve to do, not something they earn with hard work.
4. Accept that mistakes are common and expected. You can't change the mistakes of others, you can only change how to respond to them. Plus, the opponents are probably making the same mistakes so learn to use those to your advantage.
5. Accept that you are the rank you are. Stop worrying about not being sometime else. If you consistently improve, you'll naturally climb just because the other players at your MMR cannot beat you anymore. Plus, you shouldn't be so mad because you "loss to these stupid players". They are trying to win just as much as you do, and deserve the win if they played better as a team than your team.
if u need them to do their job to win u either spamping them and they react or u ff
Very nice list
This is a good list but I think going even farther and muting all at the start is the way to go.
@@PecoMid I think that's a smart move for some people. Personally, I still like to have some idea of what players are saying in chat, at least in higher ELO, as messages are usually just game related things like calling summoner cooldowns or deciding lane assignments. Personally I don't think chat gets as toxic in high ELO all that often unless games are going really poorly because players at that ELO are more likely to own up to their mistakes, shut up, and play to win. So often players will just type "my bad" in chat for dying instead of spam pinging their jungler or flaming in chat.
Although, just muting chat until someone gets to masters might be worth it for their mental in the long run.
@@coolbrotherf127a lot of games do go quite poorly. Also masters+ is like 0.1% of the playerbase xd and even then from watching streamers(i'm only d2) it seems it can get very toxic there as well.
coach, you can't understand how much I needed this video and all your others at the exact moment they get uploaded. I can't describe how much of a positive influence you have on everyone's health. Thank you, stay safe.
Hi Coach Curtis! My boyfriend and I watch you together a lot and he sent this to me because I tend to get really tilted at myself. I’ve never flamed teammates because all of the blame ends up being directed so harshly at myself and I honestly teared up in the first thirty seconds of the video because that is me word for word. I realized only recently after having an honest conversation with myself that my problem was fear of capping out or some insecurity that I have some innate issue with being unable to learn or improve, and it’s been a trend with hobbies I’ve had my whole life that involved any sort of growth (art, piano, sports, etc). Even down to part where you talk about the “I don’t know what to look for” self-commentary and chalking any progress up to LP, you summed it all up so well and I think it’ll be good to take even more time to reflect and try to level out those high highs and low lows. I know it’ll take time but I’ll give this video another listen since it really spoke to me. Love your content as always- thank you so much for all of the hard work you put in for everything you do and for making me feel really seen and heard💕
i lost 14 ranked games in a row and now this video pops up, wow great timing
14 in a row is wild u on wild rift?
This man’s a legend. Applies to everyday life for most of it. Amen, God Bless.
Seriously, the man gets it
One thing I learned early (from Shok actually) is to make realistic goals, every day. Some days I focus on CS, the game can get to a loss but if my CS was good it counts as a win for me. You can make those tiny goals for all kinds of things like warding, roams, character mechanic etc. It's a learning Arc in every aspect even at a loss.
Made me very mindful and less angry about what other people do.
This is an amazing aproach even to the real life problems. improve every day by tiny and realistics goals
I think shifting my language to a behavior-level rather than identity level is a _huge_ bridge towards having a growth mindset. Finally something I can actually, with some effort, implement and grow into a habit.
I need to do that asap, because I always go hard on myself saying _I'm_ trash because I know I could do better but do bad, then get frustrated because I didn't know why I did bad or why things felt impossible or why things turned out the way they did. I don't know what causes what, so the only answer is that _I'm_ the issue, and I simply feel horrible. Anger, frustration, despair. A Growth Mindset is obviously really important, and I've known that for years, however the hardest thing for me is to shift into a Growth Mindset after having such a Fixed Mindset from comparing myself to better people and putting myself down my entire life. Again, even though I knew I should have a growth mindset, I never knew what to do or _how_ to shift into a growth mindset no matter where I looked. That made it feel like, again, I was the issue. Apparently everyone else already knows, why don't I know, why can't I figure it out? That lead to an even worse Fixed Mindset. There's a number of things that happened that made me have such a mindset in the first place growing up, but the important thing is that I'm the one _keeping_ this negative mindset.
Even if I got better, I would always have excuses that oh X person wasn't even playing the game often anymore, or Y person isn't even pursuing this hobby seriously and they were that good, and Z person is so much better than I am in much less time so I'm obviously worthless I can't ever improve or get truly skilled (even though I _know_ my potential is so much higher, especially when I experienced doing very well in the occasional flow state when I first try something new and have no expectations for myself) It is exhausting. Hopefully I will rewire my brain to having a growth mindset, and literally change my life for the better.
This video even helps me not even in league but also in real life. The point „learn how to speak to yourself“ is crucial for confidence/self believe.
Thank you!
The Timing of this Video is literally UNREAL. Just starting a huge grind and I was actually asking this myself.
really good seeing two of my fav league content creators interacting together ❤️
@@sickorevil 😎
This is like therapy for league players with ptsd 😂
Spot on with the high vs toxic standards though. That part made me instantly realize how much im hurting my potential. I changed alot of my standards on my gameplay and i feel like im learning a shit ton more and actually having fun playing league again, regardless of win/loss
i'm a val coach who plays this game casually here and there with friends. but i love your messages you send out and i've learned a lot from you! thanks for the content
I too used to be a very toxic player. It took me like 8+ months, but I never flame in chat or mental boom in game. If someone makes a mistake, they probably already feel bad about it, no need to put them down more. Focusing on my own gameplay and not worrying about my teammates mistakes made me rank up dramatically.
thank u for this cozy message stewart little i am going to try to defeat being bronze with kindness just like u buddy
@@TheeSavagePopIdol certainly noone defeats bronze with toxicity. if anything, it defeats u with it.
Positivity lol you are actually stuck in the mentality of a child. Enjoy life when it comes crashing down on you.
Loved the video, de tools you intend yo give, the wisdom... shows you´ve been reflecting a lot, and for that you have my admiration. You motivated me to play more and to have less pressures and painfull standards
VERY high quality content! I love how open, honest and thereby also vulnerable you are with your rational analyses, it takes a lot of work and self-awareness and growth to have this attitude. Thanks for being a great role model! I think it's so so so important in this community.
I think that another big thing is that there is this idea that if you are upset then you should vent out your anger, because that makes you feel better but according to every single scientific study on the subject, that feeling of positivity after venting your anger actually reinforces your brain that anger is a good emotion. Instead you should slow your breathing step away from your computer or whatever else youre doing, since this is a good advice for life in general and try to calm yourself down for example by trying to understand what made you angry and reasoning with yourself as to why anger isnt actually the right way of reacting to that situation.
Perfect, decided to start emphasizing improvement over the climb and this video pops up. Always love your videos, thank you for all the hard work you put in!
setting expectations is huge one that I keep getting back, thanks curtis
I am SO glad to see you talk about the fixed versus growth mindsets. I've been reading Mindset by Carol Dweck and every time she talks about fixed mindset I'm reminded of people raging out in League. Developing a growth mindset is great, both for your Ranked climb AND just generally for your life.
I don't comment on videos usually, but it feels like I need to comment on this one as some sort of a promise to myself to do better and take away some points highlighted in this video. I'm extremely toxic and I get tilted easily and I really want to fix it, but it feels like I'm not myself when I get frustrated in league. Once the game is over I feel like shit for other way I talk to my team and for the things I type to them, and for having such a weak mental that if my jng decides to take my wave I start running down immediately and the game is over in my head, which could've easily be saved if I stayed composed and focused on my next plans. Thank you for this video Curtis.
the start of the video is really a great point. i have been hardstuck d4-d3 for the past 3 years, and no matter what role i played i could never get out of d3, always going on 10-15 game loss streaks after a bit because i start feeling like i have no clue what im doing and that everyone else is just better than me. this season was no different, i demoted all the way to emerald 3 by tiltqueuing, quit the game for 2-3 weeks, came back and have climbed back up with great success, no longer having ranked anxiety, and for the first time ever really being able to climb back up after such a loss streak, i believe i can start climbing because i don't tilt anymore and can look at games objectively.
I was a league of legends player, now I am mainly just playing Heroes of The Storm, I find this videos really helpful as I can transfer mostly all of what you are talking about to my own game. Some stuff about what you said about managing expectations have helped me a lot; many times I find myself frustrated or helpless when I loss on games I felt I had 0 impact after playing against the top 10 players in my region. Currently I am in front of this wall of not being able to enter the top 100 and I feel like you stated the main reason. Thanks again for helping me to not be this hard on myself (it will take me a time to be able to apply it) and thanks for helping me manage my expectations.
This was an amazing video. Somehow i felt like crying on the fixed mindset part. You went on how exactly i've been feeling. Thank you so much for this gem of a video
Actually love this! I’m just a casual gamer but I applied this to my career as a teacher. I began to think…”why don’t I get upset if a lesson isn’t going well?” And it’s because I know how to learn from what’s around me and modify for next time. Well done coach!
Thank you a lot for your video, I've been stuck on Diamond 2 but nowadays I'm seeing League as something that I can enjoy, and I'm learning a lot for it. Your video helped me consolidate that. I think that for now I'll just keep improving. You are a good content creator.
This is the best league video I've ever watched. Bravo.
Thank you for making this video been stuck for a long time now, kinda ending in not playing the game for close to 8 months now as frequently as I did. Gonna take the time to reflect for a few days. Thanks so much
Been a while Coach, glad I stopped by again for this gem. Learned ADC role this season and been struggling with tilt lately, this is fantastic stuff!
It can be hard knowing the win-con for a lane/trade or all in but not being on the same page as my Support, but I need to learn how to adapt. Edit: I should add that being humble and open to the idea that I DONT understand the matchup is also a good idea...haha. Objectively though, I do think Support is the most boosted role, with the caveat that good warding/vision control is harder than people realize.
taking wins for granted was the thing that really spoke to me.
when i queue up, i often go in with the expectation of a great game, even tho i know thats not how it works, but just queue until u get a great game and quit afterwards for the day / a few hours /whatever.
i only play league to enjoy it nowadays anyway, but that is one part that kept me from enjoying it, apart from the community being the community.
i stopped playing for 2 years, swapped servers from EUW to EUNE (which was the best thing i ever did), but i was never able to just queue up day in day out while having fun anymore.
maybe this cant bring that back, but at least help with my approach.
there also were many things i basically knew in the back of my mind, but i really felt the change in my brain.
especially when u talked about rank/LP being only used to show to others how good we are, i basically felt how i detached skill level from the displayed rank in my brain.
that might also be why i never cared about rank and mainly played normal games. but a lot of things now make so much more sense, thank you.
Really love the video this helped so much. I didn't realize how bad my mental was until this video (even though I never type toxic things). Originally I thought my issues were my play but before that, I needed to focus on my mental and I got to implement this first. Appreciate the videos and podcast
hard to believe this is “just another league video” with this much value in content
this literally came up in my feed after the most tilting game ever lol. thanks Coach Curtis
Taking a vacation from multiplayer games and work totally resets my mental when I find myself caring about what other people are doing. I have a cycle now of rotating between competitive, single player, co-op, then back to competitive. A fresh mental gets me further than any amount of hard stuck self reviewing.
My theory behind this is that the single player games are a detox they can either be a casual vacation, or drive personal performance depending on genre. For example, Neon White is a shooter and platformer, but the levels are set up like a time-trial, you drill personal performance. ARPGs get you in the mindset of being mindful of how to build and situational awareness. Cozy farming sims like Sandrock/Stardew get you to be more efficient with your time. If you take the interesting parts of these games and apply what you learn to multiplayer games, you can grow a bit faster than your competition. Not to mention you start chipping away at that steam library bucket-list.
Co-Op games get me into the mindset of teamwork. This is where I take the focus off of personal performance and focus on applying what I have to support others.
I usually time my competitive returns to fall on new games or seasons, where everyone is on an equal knowledge playing field for the mental advantage.
21:50 really resonates with me. It is a very jarring experience coming from FPS games leaving corpses wherever I went to being a cannon minion in League.
having an emotional reaction is proof that you are improving, and then once you reach the top 0.1% you long for that feeling again. alongside this, the more you think you know, the less you know in incomprehensible ways which leads to boredom/burnout, or you persevere again
Straight up my league guru 🙏 love your perspective
this thumbnail is goated
I don't often tilt, but i do sometimes, i will implement all these things and see what it brings me in my ranked journey 🙏
I will also keep this comment updated every month to let you guys know how it's going
Right now I'm emerald 2 (6-9), Masters last split.
Earned my sub Curtis. Great video mate. G'day from NZ
I just wish there was a game mode where you can play qualitative matches of your elo, without losing points. Normal games, flex, aram all of those game modes give me matches with iron/bronze/silver/gold players when im platinum and i cant play them without hard stomping even on champs i never played before, so the only thing i can play for fun is ranked which is conflicting with the competitive aspect because if I want to have more fun, ill do more mistakes and thus be more likely to lose which is incredibly frustrating so im kind of stuck in this loop where i cant enjoy the game with friends because the lobbys are boring and in ranked i have to give my absolute best to not lose my rank if you climb through all those ranks its very much not fun to do it again and its very boring and time consuming at times. I think the best way is to just make another account that your rank is not emotionally bonded to and just climb on that until your able to get yourself out of the current one because if its not your main you get way less tilted to loses and get a more objective view
good points. i like you're takes and perspectives. nice
Love the uploads coach thank you so much
Hey Curtis! Probably other people have suggested this before, but I really would love to see you guys do an interview with Azzapp for the BBC! He preaches a lot of the same principles and mindset that you promote: no tilt, playing your best and not minding losses, etc. Cheers!
Homeboy Curtis is a Tarantino enthusiast, glad to see
League is incredibly difficult, just like any other competitive game. Being better than someone who has put 10000 hours into the game will take, on average, 10001 hours of hard work. Same as chess, tennis, go (both the boardgame and the CS variant), and anything else you can improve at.
that's not true because there are so many sources of bite sized information u can just get instantly that person had to learn it over a thousand games
@@iFParasit thats the same in chess or tennis etc. you still have to put in the work anyway
Translation: new and or players still learning characters will suffer at the hands of those with no life. How do you kill that which has no life? Disengagement. The vampires will wither and rot without fresh hosts to suckle.
Mute all and think about starts. As a support I do a lot of shot calling anyway and find sometimes all it takes is good information sharing to bring randos together.
Or go the other way and stop trying to give people a heads up if they don't respect the warning. Then focus on my own basics.
Cant relate to enjoying the game in the earlier seasons. Back in season 3 i was slamming caitlyn lanes every game hard trading every moment i could because of a range advantage just to die to the jungler on repeat because i had 0 respect for the game. Taking the game more seriously and having respect for the multiple aspects of the game has at worst got me to d4. Ty for the Video Curtis, great content once again !
Going on with the "brutal conversation piece" if anyone trying to "help" you in anyway, whether that be a coach a friend who is the same/higher/lower elo, does not matter. If they are not willing to have these conversations and you are being very honest but non aggressive with your words, then they are not there to help you. They are there to control you.
Love these kinds of videos. Thanks coach.
duoq?
A dear friend of mine could really use this. Playing with them is so much fun, but they can get in their head and it's hard to see them swing from high highs to low lows.
Started climbing a couple of months ago, two weeks ago I reached my current peak of Plat 3 from Bronze 4. I haven't returned to rank since because I now find myself for some reason getting tilted very easily in norms, mostly from/towards my teammates. It's as if I reached this spot and think I'm better than everyone around me and all of their mistakes are "obvious" and "losing" and they send me spiraling and just want to FF constantly. This is happening on norms and definitely don't want to take this headspace into ranked. Perfect timing on this video
nah ur got flung up and know u did fly a bit higher than ur skill is also the reason u stopped palying
@@iFParasit 🤡
In my experience I can just climb a division per split, I completly smufred platinum las split and got stuck in emerald 4 and this one I smurfed trough emerald and peaked diamond 3 also climbed in two other accounts to diamond but I think I will just wait for next split for master bc It feels like a mental barrier
It's important to understand where your peak is and then stop playing.
not just that, but simply keep playing while retaining that elo or skill and not caring about going further. i am emerald and platinum for multiple seasons but i am just basically a gold player that has more map and enemy knowledge than most due to me playing jungler for a few years and i still prefer lower elo due to stuff being lower pressure and it ALWAYS having come backs.
on anything close to emerald the moment a irelia or zed is fed the game is fucking over they HARD CARRY everyone by just being on every single team fight or hunting for kills until the game ends its absurdly horrible to play like that.
tilt is the thing i struggle with most. need to hear more about it. would be cool if you could link up with a therapist or dbt specialist to talk about it too
what would they Enlighten you with? that it all depends on you?
tilting or not tilting is ultimately your conscious / subconscious choice.
The therapist would recommend you avoid stress. Guess what mobas cause?
My most recent tilt streak took me from plat to bronze 4. Yesterday I decided it was time to climb. Already up to silver 4 after just 20 games
eat or drink water, go for a walk, shower, talk to someone you like, go to gym, listen to music or taking a nap are my go tos ^^
It pains me too much to watch these vids now a day because I can't play. I wish I could go back on the league journey with the way Curtis approach this. But shoulder/back issues pop right back in as soon as I play league in a pretty drastic way, even 1 game. Time for me to say goodbye to this game I've been playing for 15 years.
I find that I play a lot better and do a lot better in terms of tilt by setting a goal for that game other than winning. If my goal is to keep 8 cs/min, I'm much less emotionally attached to the idea of winning the game and, as a result, I play better and win more games.
tilt is everything that is going on outside of the game
One must learn themselves before they can learn about their opponent
just by the 2 first minutes, i knew that was i needed, i just feel bad, i tilt easily and loose lots of games these days
I think one of my number 1 tilt cause is expecting people to be teamplay oriented and cooperating and it hurts when it shatters, ironically I as an ADC put more effort into helping teammates than even most supports I encounter (let alone other roles) ... only for them to watch me die repeatedly without caring to help a single time, even if I ping or politely ask (beg) for help
That aside, I plan trying to communicate more, e.g. talk with my support at the start if they plan to play aggressively or defensively etc, with jungle if they plan to gank/drake etc to prevent clash of expectations
What tilts me a lot in this season is, i like playing scaling champs that have very bad early skirmishes. However current meta is too heavily relies on early 2v2s and 3v3s. So when i don't move to every bad play my jungler makes i just get flamed and i lose my mind.
@18:45
I came from being a master at SC2 and thought I was top shit. I was stuck in bronze 5 at 0 LP for about 2 years.
im already untiltable,
after 4x inting lane + winning my lane, only thing i type to chat while my nexus is getting bonked:
oh, so that's how this match-up is played like
You are describing my last week after i went from 800lp down to 450lp while the games just felt unplayable weird and i was beyond tilted playing 16 games with 11 loses
Tilt is a planet deep in the subconscious with it's own gravity and everything. As you approach planet Tilt and the horror of crash landing on its surface and being stranded there in losers queue and eventually abandoning your account to perish on that barren surface you have to make a choice. Either crash and die or accelerate full speed towards the planet and use its own gravity to slingshot arounnd it at the last minute propelling you faster and further than you could have gone without planet tilt. This is the true secret to mastering tilt.
I think all I care about at this point is winning my own lane. I'll take that as a win for me.
Great video keep up the great work ❤
I DARHXE APPROVE BUT WILL NOT PRACTICE THIS TILL IM 20
Something that has helped me take accountability and curious to learn more is asking myself why are these out side factors tilting me…intially it sounds like i’m blaming my team and in a sense yes i am at the end of the day if they didn’t make the mistakes or they listened to my input I wouldn’t be tilted but underneath that what im really asking myself why am allowing this outside force to control me and how can i get that sense of control back? What did i do wrong to put myself in a position where now these outside forces are influencing me and my decision making
brilliant video!!! Thanks a mil
I stopped playing competitive games and went into single player games, where if I fail it's my fault and not tilt/balance/cheats/matchmaking/idiots/etc
I have the mindset that the game isn't over until the Nexus explodes
Great video, not just for league
Not tilting is obviously super important for your ranked escapades but i just want to say that sometimes it's not enough. Sometime you just need to call it a day and be fine with it.
I was grinding ranked and my win rate was pretty good and i gave every match 100%. On one fateful day i got a string of like 9 unwinnable games. By unwinnable i mean my team voting to surrender, having multiple AFKs/rage quitters and just games where our team doesn't have at least 1 more competent player (i think 2 competent players can carry most low elo games). The majority of these were AFKs and surrenders though maybe 3 of those 9 were a proper team diff.
I wasn't mad, i just kept hitting play again because i recognized i couldn't do much into it and i kept it pushing. After the 9th loss however (which is weird because my mental is unscathed), i was wondering what the issue was. I have chalked it up to just bad luck. Just wanted to say bad luck happens and the solution might to be to accept defeat and log off.
I have a situation where all my friends are higher-ranked (Emerald) than me, and when I play with them, it’s a terrible experience. They flame me if I don’t give them kills (I play APC bot) or if I don’t help them carry, basically they want me to be their support, and they insult me all the time because of the champions I play. Essentially, they don’t let me play my way and enjoy the game. When I play alone, things usually go well because I’m matched with people of a similar skill level, but with my friends, it’s just not enjoyable.
force them to change or don't play with them whatsoever. i am emerald and platinum for multiple seasons and even if my friends were dogshit silver i didnt forced them to do that i just carried the game because i farmed and that was the end.
I've been on tilt for 13 years and still hard stuck silver 1. Main adc but try play other roles and then end up quiting the game time to time. #insanity at its finest.
Right now I know that I jump between loads of different champions, like im newer at the game but I can't find a champion that I really enjoy.
I hope u didnt forget me im still here watching
-Lost Chapta
for mr I've become a better person and got inner peace by watching (Berserk, Vagabond, Vinland saga) mangas
I am still a very toxic player - I don't flame my teammates or opponents, but I flame myself constantly, and get tilted by anything that goes wrong whenever I try to make a call or a play. I end up spiraling in this mindset where I just tilt myself, and only League does this to me.
Evil game meant for nasty people. You being mad means you are vehemently opposed to this philosophy.
Doesnt take much thinking process. Do i a: play a game that i enjoy or b: play a game which is sporadically enjoyable which requires homework and research to 'git gud' and not suffer migraines or get an early heart attack from unnecessary stress.
Gee. Fuc king really makes you think huh?
I just started playing.. but good to know 👍
Got a sub from this. Makes so much sense.
Hello coach Curtis. I've started to be more laid back. So i've started to notice that i become angry when i lose the game. Feel arrogant when i win. I dont know if it is my messed up belief sysyem, or if it is something natural. But i am trying my best to just enjoy the process instead of caring about the outcome.
Highly agree league of legends is a hard game. Just come back after a break and started at prctise tool, and can't even cs properly. :) But i will practise anyway. I have a question: You said you played many games with bots and normals before even touching rankeds. Do you think if i want to practise for rankeds playing arams is also usefull? Where else to practice? I honestly don't even want to play normals because i feel like there is too much to think about and they take too much time.
This video is so good and accurate that even watching it made me tilt a bit... xD
Amazing video! Really
This is very helpful advice, Coach - but where is Panpan?
When do you actually recommend to ignore past games as a result of an unlucky sequence of events? And how would you identify when something is lucky? High percentage plays vs low percentage plays?
Go outside. Talk to your neighbors. You don't need any starter items, though i do recommend you pre kit your champion with a shower and toothbrushing.
You, and most people who play mobas, are severely chronically online. Bad people with nasty habits which breed even more foul dispositions.
Hey, what's with the posters in the background, is he a fan of Once Upon a time in Hollywood by Quentin Tarantino, does anybody know ? I've seen that movie like 5 times its amazing
Why does it feels a lot more easier to get to a high elo, if u've done it before in the past? Is there a kind of mental unlock knowing that u could do it before?
I know it's wrong buut I like to play league while i play some other chill game in the background , that's how i avoid tilt!
I just died? no time to cry abt it, gotta kill some goblins! reached plat like that x)
That was me, coming from other games thinking im hot shit and getting humbled quick
awesome vid
the best way to avoid tilting is to make a 26 minutes video about how to avoid tilting
1. Disable chat
2. Dont spam games and go outside
Bro is playing Rell wondering why he’s losing
How do you deal with the ranked anxiety of not playing because you are worried about losing and not getting the rank you want?
lol I’m the exact opposite: I keep binge queuing losing 6-7 games in a row because I refuse to quit when I am losing. Maybe I should be more afraid to lose my lps 😅
get another account and play through your elo until your so good that you can escape it in no time and through that develop less emotional bond with your rank
Stop playing.
Why does this show up when im on my winstreak