We all do it, but it still works. Subcutaneously it influences our decision making constantly , maybe not 100% as we would want it to, maybe its only about 1% or even less, but its still more than it was before ;)
Change is very gradual. There is a lot of talk in personal improvement sphere about these measurable changes you make in your life (I.e. not using your phone for 15, 30 and and then 6” min in the morning). This approach never worked for me. For me it’s more like try and fail, try again and fail, fail, fail, fail until one day I realize I have transformed from a person who dreaded doing a 20 min workout to being a person who runs 12 miles on a Saturday morning
@ismini I don't think it's necessarily out of stupidity, just a deep and misguided desire to derive happiness from others, to impress our "tribe". It is sad though.
The part at 17:24 reminded me of a quote by Jim Carrey: “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.”
Key takeaways on how to be happy in a distracted world 1. Practice stillness. Stillness is NOT idleness and nothingness. It’s about slowing down time, appreciating the little things, think about what truly matters, and be at a state of zen. 2. Don’t use your phone until at least 1 hour after you wake up. Also don’t look at the clock or your watch every second when meditating. 3. Don’t get too attached to your screen and looking and responding to emails the whole day. 4. Don’t listen to the if then statements in your head. Like if I get xyz I’ll become happy. When you do get xyz the happiness won’t last long. 5. Do things since you want to not because you want to get your parents to be proud of you. There’s no amount of anything that will make you feel better about yourself if you don’t feel good about yourself in the first place. 6. In order to be still Make sure your mind, body, and soul are all in check and taken care of 7. Don’t compare yourself with others. Stop negative thought patterns. 8. Deprecation is when you try taking away things or pushing yourself past your limits so when things actually get hard you know how to deal with it better. Preparation for a contingency Ex: putting yourself in a position where you’re not anxious about losing what you have because you know you can handle that thing without it. You’ll be better prepared when you don’t have something. More examples preparing for a bad review, your item not selling too well, or an angry email. 9. If you’re a person who is dependent on your current way of living and can only live that lifestyle and salary if everything goes south you’re more vulnerable to the swings of fate. 10. Enough isn’t weak or settling it’s actually an extreme form of power
The key to happiness is realizing that there's no key to happiness.. there will be happiness and sadness and we just have to learn to live with and appreciate both sides for what they are.
Yes, the ebbs and flows of life come and go like the weather ... humans can not control everything. Nature has its course as well and we are all very much a part of nature.
Interestingly my quiet and still time is when I'm running. My legs are moving, my heart is beating faster but my mind is resting, I'm concentrating on myself, on my thoughts. My best ideas came to me while running, for example 'I have to ask my gf to marry me' and now, 10 years later here we are with 3 kids and a very happy life.
its the same for me when i'm walking and skateboarding. Its the fact that i'm moving that isolates me from the outside world. There's a nice amount of solitude when you go out for a walk/run/skate especially at off peak hours where i feel i can just think and not have fears until i go back into my house.
I do a lot of manual work these days and I get lots of self-reflection time. When I get in the zone when painting, it's almost exactly like meditating. Calm, but alert and... content, somehow.
"my quiet and still time is when I'm running" ... I wonder if that is some kind of "movement meditation" that is not as hyped as meditation in a room or yoga but is still practiced by many, many people! Let it be swimming a few round before work, cycling after a hard day thru a wood or as you said running. It seems like the body is occupied enough so that the mind can concentrate on things you have to sort out for yourself ...
things i learnt from this video: 1. stillness doesn't mean actually being still or idle, it's more of the moments that you experience no distractions and you are mentally/emotionally/physically connected with what you're doing. 2. happiness is fleeting. i've been struggling with this for a while now - being happy one day and being downright depressed the next. but hearing you guys talk about how nobody is happy all the time - it makes me realize that i shouldn't dwell on why i'm unhappy most of the time, but try to put that energy to productivity instead. 3. finding contentment really stems from knowing how much is enough. and knowing exactly what is enough for yourself and your happiness - that is powerful. thanks for such a thought-provoking interview, matt! i learnt more from this video than from a whole semester of philosophy class lol.
I can definitely agree with number two, When I feel down I will just tell myself I'm alright, and tomorrows another day, the main thing is being able to wake up in the morning, or going to bed thinking of something that makes you smile, whether that's something you done that day, or looking forward to etc... Idg why i seems easier to dwell on bad things more than good
Lien you also don’t need their validation to feel good about yourself or to be happy which is what he was saying, you can control your thought and actions not others
@@r.i.psteez929 oh i know, i purposely took the sentence out of its context simply because people often say they want to make their parents proud of them
This was by far the best interview I've ever seen with Ryan holiday and I've been a fan of Ryan since before his first book on stoicism came out. Fantastic questions that provoked amazingly thoughtful answers.
Buddhism does the same thing and goes quite a bit further. Awakening is real. You can ask about it over @ r/streamentry on Reddit. Happiness is a practice. And meditation everyday is the path there. You want to stop being moved by distractions? Sit for 30 minutes a day and just watch your breath cycle. Read The Mind Illuminated if you want more knowledge. Be blessed
As a mental health clinician, I use many of these same ideas to help my patients/clients with their anxiety and depression. Really great talk, I enjoyed it very much! Thank you
Oo I like that. I think maybe mental minimalism is something to practice/ work towards. When I first start meditating my mind is running at 100 mph, but after about 10 minutes (often 20) I can finally rest a little.
I was born in the mid 80s and grew up in the 90s and early 2000s. Back then, the Internet wasn’t a big thing. Well, not big enough to become a distraction. And these days, I find myself so stimulated ALL the time with technology, that I could cry. It’s like my brain is always ON. That coupled with not getting enough sleep is a recipe for disaster. I often long for the days of the past. I have been working to put down my phone while watching tv or working. Also, I try harder to put it down before bed. I deleted all Social Media and I can already feel a difference in just being still.
And to make things worst.... Most companies want you to use social media at work. My kid had to make a Facebook when she was in high school by her coach. She told the students they needed one because it would be the only form of communication between the team outside of school hours. Game schedules and everthing were posted there. Sucks
I agree . I couldn’t caught a break these days . Life is too fast paced and I’m always distracted . To counter this I only follow certain Instagram accounts . We are over stimulated
I usually take my little daughter to man made small forest near my home in Mysore Karnataka India (its called Salumaradha Thimmakka Udhyavana) for a walk with no gadgets with us. we walk and talk and play with small tree stick and all the natural stuffs available their. and i ask her to sit for 10 mins without doing anything. its difficult for both of us seating quite, but we are learning.
That's great man. It is heartening to see someone make a conscious effort to inculcate these values and more importantly, practice them himself. I'm sure you are a great father. Your daughter is lucky.
@@itsmelilsteve nah i would be more impressed with someone who used their intellect to upgrade their car when I see a lambo I just think about rich snobs (I know I probably should get rid of that relation)
Wholeheartedly agree with this, and i'm glad you posted it on youtube. These are the people that need to see it most.I recommend going for a 5 or 10 min walk without your phone - it feels weird, but it's extremely refreshing.
Oh my God...I needed this. I never say this in videos, but this came on a fated day. Today I was stuck in a rut, trying to recover from burn out. And worried about my mistakes and future consequences. But then Ryan said, "you can't make people respect you, you can't make your parents proud of you... it's out of your hands." So true. So many things in life are out of our hands. We can fret and worry and be ambitious as we want, but if we continue to be driven by the approval of others, we will never be satisfied, fulfilled or happy. We need to stop doing things cause X person approves/disapproves, we should do things that align with our own goals and wants. Not to gain the approval of someone who will never be impressed no matter how much we do.
Quit social media folks! I deleted every social media app from my phone and it feels great to not care about people who live their lives trying impressing others through social media. The less you care, the happier you get!
I found that the key is not walking away from the "problem" but rather facing it and finding ways to strengthen your stance to actually overcome and control it. Yes, I also closed my social media for about a year and a half, but I had to face it with a new mindset. That shit doesn't control me, I control myself in regards to it. Self control and self knowledge are the key to every problem. "You control the problem, the problem does not control you" and by deleting apps, it's somehow still controlling you. Get what I'm saying?
OHDΔGEE I closed mine because they just had no true worth in my life. Your mileage may differ. If you really care about people, give them the most valuable thing you have. Your time, not a like. I honor people with my attention. When you truly give your attention the world truly comes to life.
If social media is a problem to you take a break and get ready to fix and face that social media problem and make it something good and loving, I really wish I could take my own advice but it happends to everyone.
15 years ago, before smartphones took over the world, I cancelled cable for “more quiet”. I never anticipated how overwhelming phones would be. Mine is on silent most of the time, I get almost zero notifications, and I’m forced to be so self disciplined with when and how it gets used. Because, quiet. And also because, I apparently have either no self control or all of it. 😆 We are undeniably influenced by our environment. Which means we need to be in control of that environment even more today when so many more people have the ability to interrupt or influence us.
Notifications kinda give me anxiety, so I turned off almost all of them and keep my phone on silent most of the time. Still addicted to RUclips though, I could keep videos playing in the background all day long.
So true. I spent a good chunk of time deleting my subscription emails recently. I feel like having an inbox is also another environment to be in control of 😂
"People are able to go off in a cabin in the woods, they've reduced all external noise and then they find the noises in here", is just slightly off the plot of a Steven King novel/Stanley Kubrick screenplay. - Haha, kidding. Your quality in content keeps going up, thanks much, man I appreciate what you're doing!
A bit messy TIMESTAMPS: 0:00 Introduction on how distracted we are 0:50 Introduction to Ryan Holiday 2:08 STOICISM: Powerful Philosophy to Living a Good Life ⭐️ practical life advice ⭐️focusing only on the things you can control 5:02 STILLNESS: Importance to People Today 7:16 Difference (or the Similarities) of the Ancient People to People Today ⭐️ Stoics experience the same dilemmas ⭐️ Preferred indiffererents 10:01 Napoleon Mail 14:04 Creating Rules for Ourselves ⭐️Pre-make more decisions as possible 16:30 Accomplishments ⭐️ Conditional Happiness & If then statements ❤️ "You can't fix internal issues with external accomplishments." 20:55 Chasing Happiness 22:08 Making Stoicism a Daily Practice 23:45 Parts of the Book: (Balance of the) Mind, Body & Soul 25:04 Physical & Mental Stillness 26:18 Voice in the Head:: Meditation ⭐️ Stillness ≠ Idleness 29:47 Stoic Challenge ✨ "It's not the deprivation is a virtue" ... "it's about putting yourself in a position you are not anxious about losing what you have because you know you can handle that thing." 33:56 Contentment: How Much Is Enough
damn. no ads except one. i didn't realize how long this was until after. i was really captured the entire time and having no ads made me really truly think. thank you
Anyone: grabs banana and coffee leaves home in the morning, drives for 17 minutes and arrives at work Matt: grabs banana and coffee leaves home in the morning, drives for 17 minutes and arrives at his house
dear matt, thanks for your videos, i could control my anxiety with your videos, and i became minimalist after following your channel , it’s about 2 months that i follow you. wish happiness and success for you and your beautiful wife. keep going, i am your big fan from italy! grazie matt, sei bravo!
There arent really very many things that can comfort me at this stage in my life, but your videos always manage to. Heres from me and my anxiety and my depression. Thank you 😊
The discussion about "enough" reminds me of this Sterling Hayden quote- "What does a man need - really need? A few pounds of food each day, heat and shelter, six feet to lie down in - and some form of working activity that will yield a sense of accomplishment. That's all - in the material sense, and we know it. But we are brainwashed by our economic system until we end up in a tomb beneath a pyramid of time payments, mortgages, preposterous gadgetry, playthings that divert our attention from the sheer idiocy of the charade. The years thunder by. The dreams of youth grow dim where they lie caked in dust on the shelves of patience. Before we know it, the tomb is sealed. Where, then, lies the answer? In choice. Which shall it be: bankruptcy of purse or bankruptcy of life?"
Damn that quotes sums it all up right there. Buddhism does the same thing and goes quite a bit further. Awakening is real. You can ask about it over @ r/streamentry on Reddit. Happiness is a practice. And meditation everyday is the path there. You want to stop being moved by distractions? Sit for 30 minutes a day and just watch your breath cycle. Read The Mind Illuminated if you want more knowledge. Be blessed
Ryan Holiday is the reason I know what stoicism is. From him I’ve gained curiosity of everyone he speaks of, and am now reading these philosophy books that are helping me change my life. Also, I’m liking these funny clips at the end, you funny.
I kept reading the title as ‘key to happiness IS a distracted world’ thinking that’s not right... then realised I was trying to watch the video while doing three other things 😒🙈 What were u saying Matt?
Exactly. I thought it's gonna be some dark guide of manipulating distracted people or reaching a goal while everyone else is distracted. Something twisted.
I've only read Ryan's "The Obstacle is the Way." It was one of the books I read when I was at my lowest and it kicked off a massive personal journey out of depression and addiction. I read this and Andy Weir's "The Martian" at more or less the same time and they taught me that the only way forward is to just get on with it and no one can save you if you won't work to save yourself. I got in touch with Andy to thank him. So Ryan... Thank You. I can't fully articulate how much you have helped me.
I remember when every adult or even people my age at the time use to come up with something random and pretty cool when having a bath or on the toilet and now even that is taken up by your phone
Exactly this! A friend of mine still swears he gets his best ideas in the shower. If you ask him a difficult question, he'll often reply: "Whoa, that's hard - I guess I'll have to shower at least 3 times to be able to answer that!" ;)
i read the title and clicked on this video expecting it to be some kind of buzzfeed lecture style video where they tell you "THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE DOING WRONG!" but instead i got a very easygoing and informative discussion between two intelligent people who don't point the finger and say "THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO!". Thank you for this great video!
Hey Matt D'avella. I've have been following your channel for the past 1.5 years and this is my first comment on your channel. And I just want to say that I LOVE YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU'RE DOING. THANKYOU.
The key to happiness: Do your job, become good at it, try finding a job that you ike doing, learn ways to improve, *DON'T watch videos about someone telling you how to become happy*
Powerful stuff. I’ll be buying Ryan’s book, for sure. Stoicism is really resonating with me lately: stillness, enough, things I can control, etc. Thanks for this, Matt!
Amazing conversation! Wow Matt I've just noticed you're almost at 2m subscribers. I'm so happy for you, you deserve it all and more. Hope you're happy 🔥
Let me just thank you for all the value you're giving us through RUclips, Matt. Your videos constantly up themselves both in production value and content. Thanks!
Love it! I totally agree... having to decide what you will do everyday when you work for yourself is very exhausting! I will be making some rules and structure from now on and apply this to exercise, food, work and down-time. Thanks man
Unsubscribe from all spam unless you actually like the brand and read the newsletters. Check email(s) once a week or once a month if you don't run a business on a sit-down computer (besides your main email linked to your phone) and get good at remembering your passwords.
Many christians don't understand the essence of praying, it's the stillness these two are talking about. I find it amuzing he didn't mention judaism or christianity, yet these preach and promote stillness all the time. Great video tho! Thanks for making this free, Matt!
@@AndreiLucaa I stole that from a Pastor. Lol I just have never forgotten it. I need to be in prayer even more. Jesus said to seek his kingdom first & everything else will be added. The Beautitudes are amazing!
Great video. I’ve been practicing some aspects of stoicism and Buddhism for some time now, as they are similar. Not exact. It feels amazing because you, yourself learn how to do more of what comes naturally. Sometimes what comes naturally requires really hard work, while some other things just need to be let go. Finding stillness helps to delineate these things. However, it is challenging working for some organizations where many are always on GO about everything, before letting it sit with us for a while to consoider its success. It then becomes practice to accept and let the chips fall where they may. Outside conditions give us the oportunity to practice these philosophies in real time, real life.
This is one of my fav interviews you ever had ! I also, strongly suggest you to invite Sadia from the channel Pick up limes, she is great and might help you with inner peace and mindful living, her content and edits are delightful as yours ! Her vibe is just ugh what you aim in life . I would to see you both collaborate ❤️🥺
I've done one of his monthly challenges! They are good! Very hard but quitting addictions for example caffeine I'd easier than forcing yourself to do something(like going to gym 4times a week)
I remember he has a separate apartment for work now, but it’s funny to imagine that he drives for 20 mins around his block and gets back to the room next door 😂😂
Nathan Folkman I read Seneca’s book about inner peace and the Encheiridion of Epictetus. The philosophical meaning of the clothing is ‘not to keep up with the Johnsons’ Am following Matt quiet a while now...Matt’s reason to lend one of his shirts is because the clean visuals. Tres simple.
The more we try to "find" what we need, the more we distance ourselves from happiness. In other words we tend to live in a conceptual illusion of time, when really its all happening now.
@@papacold996 The constant desire to "find" something is what causes dissatisfaction because we wouldn't need to feel the desire to change anything if we didn't feel uneasy to begin with. This is not to say we can't have goals, but this moment right now is all that will ever occur, any objections, ideas, fantasies, dreams, fears, emotions, thoughts all occur right now. And most of the time thoughts aim to take us away from our experience because we believe we can change reality if we "think enough" but ultimately honoring our discomforts and finally learning to "sit still" as they mentioned in the video can bring a greater sense of peace and satisfaction with simpler things in life. Its counterintuitive but I have found that the more I accept whatever comes up in each moment of reality and relinquishing the desire to control reality through thinking, the less stressed I have become. In other words our thinking is often compulsive and just happens, if you asked someone why are you worrying so much? They would say because x, y, and z is stressing me out, but if you asked them "do you want to be thinking those thoughts" they would most likely say no. So essentially learning mediation and mindfulness allows us to accept all aspects of reality, including the thinking and times of stress and they eventually integrate which eliminates their compulsive nature. They loose the grip they once had, and after many months of meditation anything that is a habit generally looses its power to dominate our mind, its basically the rewiring of our brain.
I agree man. Buddhism does the same thing as stoicism and goes quite a bit further. Awakening is real. You can ask about it over @ r/streamentry on Reddit. Happiness is a practice. And meditation everyday is the path there. You want to stop being moved by distractions? Sit for 30 minutes a day and just watch your breath cycle. Read The Mind Illuminated if you want more knowledge. Be blessed!
Awesome as always. You were cooking, I knew it would be an amazing stuff delivered to us, Matt! It's not like all around YT channels, some more famous podcasts and shows from which I expect and know every intro that would be said. Here, the atmosphere is always good-ground up, tone of voice, the Mr. Spirit is present, and the delish - an unexpected short joke-poke which makes me laugh. It is so joyful to stay still on your channel. Thank you D'Avella!
Man this guy is a gem - This is by far my favorite channel! Great guest as well. I know this is old but I only recently discovered Matt and Im catching up on the older vids
“We can think because Buddhism talks about things like emptying the mind” - oh boy, you must have misunderstood something 😣 5:20 - and Nah, not everybody knows what stillness is. What real stillness is.
matts videos are so good tbh. he somehow make videos on somthing i dont really relate to, but still watch it and take in all the important info and also enjoy it at the same time
Another great video, Matt! Lots of helpful advice here. This one especially resonated with me: "You can't fix internal issues with external accomplishments. " Thank you, I needed to hear that.
I hate the duality of my life, watching a bunch of content like this while distracting myself with the exact thing telling me to stop
Well get to it
I’m just gonna hop off my phone for the rest of the day after this
We all do it, but it still works. Subcutaneously it influences our decision making constantly , maybe not 100% as we would want it to, maybe its only about 1% or even less, but its still more than it was before ;)
Change is very gradual. There is a lot of talk in personal improvement sphere about these measurable changes you make in your life (I.e. not using your phone for 15, 30 and and then 6” min in the morning). This approach never worked for me. For me it’s more like try and fail, try again and fail, fail, fail, fail until one day I realize I have transformed from a person who dreaded doing a 20 min workout to being a person who runs 12 miles on a Saturday morning
Same here
"You can't fix internal issues with external accomplishments."
Wow, I like that a lot
my brain got electric shock hearing this
You maybe should read his books if you like his ideas :)
That's amazing one. Surprisingly that's one of those things we know but always forget
wrote it straight away in my notebook!
ME TOO!
this reminds me of that saying “we buy shit we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like”
@ismini that's largely what social media is; trying to impress others
In tyler we trust
Was that Matt? I keep picturing Gary Vee saying that. Haha
All hail Tyler Durden !
@ismini I don't think it's necessarily out of stupidity, just a deep and misguided desire to derive happiness from others, to impress our "tribe". It is sad though.
The part at 17:24 reminded me of a quote by Jim Carrey: “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.”
that’s amazing
me too! would be nice to experience anyway🙌😊
Jim Carrey is also deeply disturbed
I thought about that as well... instantly.
@@Denverdude7 shut your fucking mouth
Key takeaways on how to be happy in a distracted world
1. Practice stillness. Stillness is NOT idleness and nothingness. It’s about slowing down time, appreciating the little things, think about what truly matters, and be at a state of zen.
2. Don’t use your phone until at least 1 hour after you wake up. Also don’t look at the clock or your watch every second when meditating.
3. Don’t get too attached to your screen and looking and responding to emails the whole day.
4. Don’t listen to the if then statements in your head. Like if I get xyz I’ll become happy. When you do get xyz the happiness won’t last long.
5. Do things since you want to not because you want to get your parents to be proud of you. There’s no amount of anything that will make you feel better about yourself if you don’t feel good about yourself in the first place.
6. In order to be still Make sure your mind, body, and soul are all in check and taken care of
7. Don’t compare yourself with others. Stop negative thought patterns.
8. Deprecation is when you try taking away things or pushing yourself past your limits so when things actually get hard you know how to deal with it better. Preparation for a contingency Ex: putting yourself in a position where you’re not anxious about losing what you have because you know you can handle that thing without it. You’ll be better prepared when you don’t have something. More examples preparing for a bad review, your item not selling too well, or an angry email.
9. If you’re a person who is dependent on your current way of living and can only live that lifestyle and salary if everything goes south you’re more vulnerable to the swings of fate.
10. Enough isn’t weak or settling it’s actually an extreme form of power
Thanks you a lot for this comment. You have done a great job of understanding a main sense of this conversation. Also a good tips.
Matt has blessed us with a 36 minute long content. Let's appreciate everything about this video: the videography, Matt's biceps and the topic
And don't forget Matt's biceps
forgot to mention matt’s biceps
sorry what does this say? too focused on matt’s biceps
Sorry, couldn't see the video, Matt's biceps filled all of the screen.
Not necessarily in that order. 😂
So cool seeing Matt D'Avella with a beard interviewing Matt D'Avella without a beard
😂
Screaming
Casey Everett 😂😂😂
I literally thought this when I saw the other dude 😂😂😂
Oh my... That got me 🤣🤣🤣
I close my eyes for 15 minutes every day to just listen the world arround me, its some kind of stillness, its beautifull
In this case you're practicing mindfulness. You just switched object of your focus from breath to sounds :)
Thats cool! it removes you from your current world into a another world.
I think I will try that. Thanks
That’s how you develop balance ( inner balance )
STILLNESS IS THE KEY ☺
The key to happiness is realizing that there's no key to happiness.. there will be happiness and sadness and we just have to learn to live with and appreciate both sides for what they are.
part of being human👍.
Yes, the ebbs and flows of life come and go like the weather ... humans can not control everything. Nature has its course as well and we are all very much a part of nature.
Interestingly my quiet and still time is when I'm running. My legs are moving, my heart is beating faster but my mind is resting, I'm concentrating on myself, on my thoughts. My best ideas came to me while running, for example 'I have to ask my gf to marry me' and now, 10 years later here we are with 3 kids and a very happy life.
its the same for me when i'm walking and skateboarding. Its the fact that i'm moving that isolates me from the outside world. There's a nice amount of solitude when you go out for a walk/run/skate especially at off peak hours where i feel i can just think and not have fears until i go back into my house.
When I’m running I’m just focused on the run but I think a lot when walking
@Ob Oshiete oshiete yo sono shikumi wo
I feel you brah
I do a lot of manual work these days and I get lots of self-reflection time. When I get in the zone when painting, it's almost exactly like meditating. Calm, but alert and... content, somehow.
"my quiet and still time is when I'm running" ... I wonder if that is some kind of "movement meditation" that is not as hyped as meditation in a room or yoga but is still practiced by many, many people!
Let it be swimming a few round before work, cycling after a hard day thru a wood or as you said running.
It seems like the body is occupied enough so that the mind can concentrate on things you have to sort out for yourself ...
things i learnt from this video:
1. stillness doesn't mean actually being still or idle, it's more of the moments that you experience no distractions and you are mentally/emotionally/physically connected with what you're doing.
2. happiness is fleeting. i've been struggling with this for a while now - being happy one day and being downright depressed the next. but hearing you guys talk about how nobody is happy all the time - it makes me realize that i shouldn't dwell on why i'm unhappy most of the time, but try to put that energy to productivity instead.
3. finding contentment really stems from knowing how much is enough. and knowing exactly what is enough for yourself and your happiness - that is powerful.
thanks for such a thought-provoking interview, matt! i learnt more from this video than from a whole semester of philosophy class lol.
I can definitely agree with number two, When I feel down I will just tell myself I'm alright, and tomorrows another day, the main thing is being able to wake up in the morning, or going to bed thinking of something that makes you smile, whether that's something you done that day, or looking forward to etc... Idg why i seems easier to dwell on bad things more than good
Buddhism 101. Check out r/streamentry on Reddit and meditate daily.
You're really pretty and I watched one of your videos and your voice sounds harmonious good luck with your RUclips channel 👍👍
Holo Scope thank you so much! :)
That's deep ✌
For me minimalism mean using iPhone 6 in 2019
Sanket Gupta 😂😂😂
That is true it's one of the pillars of digital minimalism. If one doesn't get enough value out of upgrade s/he shouldn't upgrade.
I record All My videos on a 7 🤫
I’m rocking an iPhone SE 💪🏻
Same. Phones just aren’t interesting enough to justify upgrading anytime soon.
"you can't make your parents proud of you" ouch.
Lien you also don’t need their validation to feel good about yourself or to be happy which is what he was saying, you can control your thought and actions not others
@@r.i.psteez929 oh i know, i purposely took the sentence out of its context simply because people often say they want to make their parents proud of them
Therapy helped me unpack that.
Tru tho
Making that into a T-shirt!
I like how they don’t interrupt each other to get their point across, you don’t see that enough during interviews.
That’s certainly one of the best videos on your channel, thanks Matt!
Fico feliz por saber que também és fã do Matt.
This was by far the best interview I've ever seen with Ryan holiday and I've been a fan of Ryan since before his first book on stoicism came out. Fantastic questions that provoked amazingly thoughtful answers.
We become so lost by the abundance of options and forget that *happiness is an inside job*
So true
O'SSÉIN - Master Your Mind With Me I am also subbed to your channel and is gives me confidence to take your advice because you watch tmf and matt
Salutations
just like 9/11
O'SSÉIN - Master Your Mind With Me beautiful
Ryan is one of the most intelligent and articulate people i've heard talk on this topic judging from this video
Every single book he has authored was worth the read, that's all I can say :)
Buddhism does the same thing and goes quite a bit further. Awakening is real. You can ask about it over @ r/streamentry on Reddit. Happiness is a practice. And meditation everyday is the path there. You want to stop being moved by distractions? Sit for 30 minutes a day and just watch your breath cycle. Read The Mind Illuminated if you want more knowledge. Be blessed
Very articulate sure.... using the word „like“ far too often.
He says many thought-provoking things, however most of the time I couldn't focus because of his constantly repeated "do you know what I mean?"
"Be still and know that I am God" - Psalm 46:10. There's no point getting worked up in the busyness of life. Great video btw
Love that Scripture!
As a mental health clinician, I use many of these same ideas to help my patients/clients with their anxiety and depression. Really great talk, I enjoyed it very much! Thank you
stillness = mental minimalism
in a way 💆🏽♂️
Stillness equal dead?
Read Mastering the Core Teachings of Buddha
Oo I like that. I think maybe mental minimalism is something to practice/ work towards. When I first start meditating my mind is running at 100 mph, but after about 10 minutes (often 20) I can finally rest a little.
Wow mental minimalism, i kinda like it.
Matt added ads to this video and I watched them entirely because I can’t afford Patreon but appreciate the quality of his content. :)
Wow this was an incredible interview. Thank you so much for everything put into creating this thought provoking content 🙏🏼
Enough isn't weak , it isn't settling , it's an extreme kind of power .
That's the best part of the video .
I was born in the mid 80s and grew up in the 90s and early 2000s. Back then, the Internet wasn’t a big thing. Well, not big enough to become a distraction. And these days, I find myself so stimulated ALL the time with technology, that I could cry. It’s like my brain is always ON. That coupled with not getting enough sleep is a recipe for disaster. I often long for the days of the past. I have been working to put down my phone while watching tv or working. Also, I try harder to put it down before bed. I deleted all Social Media and I can already feel a difference in just being still.
And to make things worst.... Most companies want you to use social media at work. My kid had to make a Facebook when she was in high school by her coach. She told the students they needed one because it would be the only form of communication between the team outside of school hours. Game schedules and everthing were posted there. Sucks
I agree . I couldn’t caught a break these days . Life is too fast paced and I’m always distracted . To counter this I only follow certain Instagram accounts . We are over stimulated
I usually take my little daughter to man made small forest near my home in Mysore Karnataka India (its called Salumaradha Thimmakka Udhyavana) for a walk with no gadgets with us. we walk and talk and play with small tree stick and all the natural stuffs available their. and i ask her to sit for 10 mins without doing anything. its difficult for both of us seating quite, but we are learning.
That's great man. It is heartening to see someone make a conscious effort to inculcate these values and more importantly, practice them himself. I'm sure you are a great father. Your daughter is lucky.
@@pradyumnasadgir2477 Thank you for your kind words.
Happy to know @Pradyumna Kulkarni Namma Karnataka ......
So cute
“You can buy a Lamborghini - but you can’t make it impress people” is my new favourite quote.
I like Ferrari or Porsche better😉
Let's not kid ourselves, a lambo always makes an impression
@@itsmelilsteve nah i would be more impressed with someone who used their intellect to upgrade their car when I see a lambo I just think about rich snobs (I know I probably should get rid of that relation)
I thought that was a bad analogy. We live in a consumerist culture, why wouldn't one of the most expensive things you can buy impress people?
Yes you can
Wholeheartedly agree with this, and i'm glad you posted it on youtube. These are the people that need to see it most.I recommend going for a 5 or 10 min walk without your phone - it feels weird, but it's extremely refreshing.
Oh my God...I needed this. I never say this in videos, but this came on a fated day. Today I was stuck in a rut, trying to recover from burn out. And worried about my mistakes and future consequences. But then Ryan said, "you can't make people respect you, you can't make your parents proud of you... it's out of your hands." So true. So many things in life are out of our hands. We can fret and worry and be ambitious as we want, but if we continue to be driven by the approval of others, we will never be satisfied, fulfilled or happy. We need to stop doing things cause X person approves/disapproves, we should do things that align with our own goals and wants. Not to gain the approval of someone who will never be impressed no matter how much we do.
Quit social media folks!
I deleted every social media app from my phone and it feels great to not care about people who live their lives trying impressing others through social media. The less you care, the happier you get!
"Once you accept that which is out of your control, you can control that which you accept"
Damn those are some real wise words
I just deleted My Facebook and Instagram apps lately. I feel so much better. Love the content on your channel!
I Appreciate 🙌🏻
I found that the key is not walking away from the "problem" but rather facing it and finding ways to strengthen your stance to actually overcome and control it. Yes, I also closed my social media for about a year and a half, but I had to face it with a new mindset. That shit doesn't control me, I control myself in regards to it. Self control and self knowledge are the key to every problem. "You control the problem, the problem does not control you" and by deleting apps, it's somehow still controlling you. Get what I'm saying?
OHDΔGEE I closed mine because they just had no true worth in my life. Your mileage may differ. If you really care about people, give them the most valuable thing you have. Your time, not a like. I honor people with my attention. When you truly give your attention the world truly comes to life.
Same and it's amazing.
If social media is a problem to you take a break and get ready to fix and face that social media problem and make it something good and loving, I really wish I could take my own advice but it happends to everyone.
The key to happiness and success is wearing a dark grey shirt
Oh shit my shirt is dark grey
Damn it!
I just went and bought 24 black shirts.... I already fucked up!
hahaha TRUE!
Skylar McLerran LMAO
And biceps :)
I keep coming back to this video over and over again
The amount of value you provide in free videos on RUclips is fucking amazing. I respect what you do and what you stand for! Love from New Mexico
15 years ago, before smartphones took over the world, I cancelled cable for “more quiet”. I never anticipated how overwhelming phones would be. Mine is on silent most of the time, I get almost zero notifications, and I’m forced to be so self disciplined with when and how it gets used. Because, quiet. And also because, I apparently have either no self control or all of it. 😆 We are undeniably influenced by our environment. Which means we need to be in control of that environment even more today when so many more people have the ability to interrupt or influence us.
Oh youre so self disciplined heres a pat on the back
Notifications kinda give me anxiety, so I turned off almost all of them and keep my phone on silent most of the time. Still addicted to RUclips though, I could keep videos playing in the background all day long.
Einz2 😂😂😂
True! Mine is on silent too and the only notification I have is for whatsapp and not to everyone. Phone rarely buzzes.. happy that way.
So true. I spent a good chunk of time deleting my subscription emails recently. I feel like having an inbox is also another environment to be in control of 😂
Absolutely wonderful video! I love how Matt really lets the guests speak and does not cut them off prematurely!
"People are able to go off in a cabin in the woods, they've reduced all external noise and then they find the noises in here", is just slightly off the plot of a Steven King novel/Stanley Kubrick screenplay. - Haha, kidding. Your quality in content keeps going up, thanks much, man I appreciate what you're doing!
A bit messy TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 Introduction on how distracted we are 0:50 Introduction to Ryan Holiday
2:08 STOICISM: Powerful Philosophy to Living a Good Life
⭐️ practical life advice
⭐️focusing only on the things you can control
5:02 STILLNESS: Importance to People Today
7:16 Difference (or the Similarities) of the Ancient People to People Today
⭐️ Stoics experience the same dilemmas
⭐️ Preferred indiffererents
10:01 Napoleon Mail
14:04 Creating Rules for Ourselves
⭐️Pre-make more decisions as possible
16:30 Accomplishments
⭐️ Conditional Happiness & If then statements
❤️ "You can't fix internal issues with external accomplishments."
20:55 Chasing Happiness
22:08 Making Stoicism a Daily Practice
23:45 Parts of the Book: (Balance of the) Mind, Body & Soul
25:04 Physical & Mental Stillness
26:18 Voice in the Head:: Meditation
⭐️ Stillness ≠ Idleness
29:47 Stoic Challenge
✨ "It's not the deprivation is a virtue" ... "it's about putting yourself in a position you are not anxious about losing what you have because you know you can handle that thing."
33:56 Contentment: How Much Is Enough
damn. no ads except one. i didn't realize how long this was until after. i was really captured the entire time and having no ads made me really truly think. thank you
This must be a dream when my favorite author and favorite youtuber are in the same place.
Anyone: grabs banana and coffee leaves home in the morning, drives for 17 minutes and arrives at work
Matt: grabs banana and coffee leaves home in the morning, drives for 17 minutes and arrives at his house
This did not age well
The only thing that grows faster than your biceps is your beard
Yeah, right! 😁
Oh damn you're right
it's not real, he stuck it on.
Im so glad ur beard is back:))))) Hot Matt again
@Lightning XIII you're a virgin. And to top it off, you're also a liar.
dear matt, thanks for your videos, i could control my anxiety with your videos, and i became minimalist after following your channel , it’s about 2 months that i follow you. wish happiness and success for you and your beautiful wife. keep going, i am your big fan from italy! grazie matt, sei bravo!
There arent really very many things that can comfort me at this stage in my life, but your videos always manage to. Heres from me and my anxiety and my depression. Thank you 😊
"You earned [their affection] at birth and [your parents] just decided not to give it to you."
Hit me really hard..
Same!
The discussion about "enough" reminds me of this Sterling Hayden quote-
"What does a man need - really need? A few pounds of food each day, heat and shelter, six feet to lie down in - and some form of working activity that will yield a sense of accomplishment. That's all - in the material sense, and we know it. But we are brainwashed by our economic system until we end up in a tomb beneath a pyramid of time payments, mortgages, preposterous gadgetry, playthings that divert our attention from the sheer idiocy of the charade.
The years thunder by. The dreams of youth grow dim where they lie caked in dust on the shelves of patience. Before we know it, the tomb is sealed.
Where, then, lies the answer? In choice. Which shall it be: bankruptcy of purse or bankruptcy of life?"
Damn that quotes sums it all up right there.
Buddhism does the same thing and goes quite a bit further. Awakening is real. You can ask about it over @ r/streamentry on Reddit. Happiness is a practice. And meditation everyday is the path there. You want to stop being moved by distractions? Sit for 30 minutes a day and just watch your breath cycle. Read The Mind Illuminated if you want more knowledge. Be blessed
That was amazing 👏🏼😯 Islam basically says the same thing, and it goes into detail as well. It’s very beautiful 😊❤️☪️
Can we just appreciate how his videos are just superb! This is ART!
zoozy 999 agreed it’s so clean looking know what I mean?
taking the words out of my mouth.. Matt crushes it on the filming.
This guy is one of the most brilliant minds and most accessible and most relevant that I have ever heard. Thank you!
Ryan Holiday is the reason I know what stoicism is. From him I’ve gained curiosity of everyone he speaks of, and am now reading these philosophy books that are helping me change my life. Also, I’m liking these funny clips at the end, you funny.
I kept reading the title as ‘key to happiness IS a distracted world’ thinking that’s not right... then realised I was trying to watch the video while doing three other things 😒🙈
What were u saying Matt?
Exactly. I thought it's gonna be some dark guide of manipulating distracted people or reaching a goal while everyone else is distracted. Something twisted.
@@Ironathor um que ?
While scrolling through comments...
SAME DUDE !!
@@Ironathor reaching a goal while others are distracted is twisted? Huh?
Thanks Matt and Ryan! I feel so privileged being able to listen in on these kinds of conversations.
There's only one thing better than Matt's content...His arms, like my guy teach me your ways.
He does actually talk about the importance of constant physical activities and what he does on one of his podcasts and I believe also in videos.
Philosophy is a lifelong practice, it's not a something you understand and everything is fixed from then on. Wow! I liked it alot
I've only read Ryan's "The Obstacle is the Way." It was one of the books I read when I was at my lowest and it kicked off a massive personal journey out of depression and addiction. I read this and Andy Weir's "The Martian" at more or less the same time and they taught me that the only way forward is to just get on with it and no one can save you if you won't work to save yourself. I got in touch with Andy to thank him.
So Ryan... Thank You. I can't fully articulate how much you have helped me.
Scrolling through the comments while watching a video about distractions 😂
Unbranded Lifestyle Well 🤣😅
Fuck ya caught me 😂
Same, but ADHD tho. I can't not be distracted 😆
Me too💜😍😂
Yup!
I remember when every adult or even people my age at the time use to come up with something random and pretty cool when having a bath or on the toilet and now even that is taken up by your phone
I know what you mean
Wow that is crazy i would always have awesome ideas in the shower or toilet still do sometimes but maybe it was connected with our younger mind
Exactly this! A friend of mine still swears he gets his best ideas in the shower. If you ask him a difficult question, he'll often reply: "Whoa, that's hard - I guess I'll have to shower at least 3 times to be able to answer that!" ;)
@@jurino sounds a cool and very clean person 😂
“You’ve earned it at birth, they just decided not to give it to you” - so true!
i read the title and clicked on this video expecting it to be some kind of buzzfeed lecture style video where they tell you "THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE DOING WRONG!" but instead i got a very easygoing and informative discussion between two intelligent people who don't point the finger and say "THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO!". Thank you for this great video!
Hey Matt D'avella. I've have been following your channel for the past 1.5 years and this is my first comment on your channel. And I just want to say that I LOVE YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU'RE DOING. THANKYOU.
Matt driving around in a circle to make us believe, he's now somewhere else...we know, brother, we know😉😂
The key to happiness: Do your job, become good at it, try finding a job that you ike doing, learn ways to improve, *DON'T watch videos about someone telling you how to become happy*
Smh nah I hate doing work😅
Live freely and Wonderfully in fun. Then you’re doing the wrong career path my friend
“They have reduced all external noise , it’s the noise in here” something about that just really hit me
Powerful stuff. I’ll be buying Ryan’s book, for sure. Stoicism is really resonating with me lately: stillness, enough, things I can control, etc. Thanks for this, Matt!
Amazing conversation! Wow Matt I've just noticed you're almost at 2m subscribers. I'm so happy for you, you deserve it all and more. Hope you're happy 🔥
I've never been able to watch 2 guys talk on a coach for 30 minutes. I was able to watch this with full attention no problem
I've read 2 of Ryan's books and this is my first time seeing him 😂 kinda trippy. awesome video matt, keep up the good work
I've experienced that feeling too 😵
Anyone else noticed that the video is 36:36 long? Well done Matt 🙋♂️
Let me just thank you for all the value you're giving us through RUclips, Matt. Your videos constantly up themselves both in production value and content. Thanks!
Love it! I totally agree... having to decide what you will do everyday when you work for yourself is very exhausting! I will be making some rules and structure from now on and apply this to exercise, food, work and down-time. Thanks man
We are the same as our ancestors.
Just with a bit more technology!
Investing Engineered truth brother
A lot of the time the older generation acts like they were better than the younger generation when in reality they were the same or worse
Matt “do you have any Napoleon esque tactics when it comes to email” D’Avella
Unsubscribe from all spam unless you actually like the brand and read the newsletters. Check email(s) once a week or once a month if you don't run a business on a sit-down computer (besides your main email linked to your phone) and get good at remembering your passwords.
Many christians don't understand the essence of praying, it's the stillness these two are talking about. I find it amuzing he didn't mention judaism or christianity, yet these preach and promote stillness all the time. Great video tho! Thanks for making this free, Matt!
Pray well Live well.
@@investyourmoney6348 well said
@@AndreiLucaa I stole that from a Pastor. Lol I just have never forgotten it. I need to be in prayer even more. Jesus said to seek his kingdom first & everything else will be added. The Beautitudes are amazing!
This is a brilliant conversation. I feel like I’ve found a very thought provoking gift in this channel. Thanks Matt for having these conversations.
Great video. I’ve been practicing some aspects of stoicism and Buddhism for some time now, as they are similar. Not exact. It feels amazing because you, yourself learn how to do more of what comes naturally. Sometimes what comes naturally requires really hard work, while some other things just need to be let go. Finding stillness helps to delineate these things. However, it is challenging working for some organizations where many are always on GO about everything, before letting it sit with us for a while to consoider its success. It then becomes practice to accept and let the chips fall where they may. Outside conditions give us the oportunity to practice these philosophies in real time, real life.
"it was never yours to win, you've earned it at birth and they've just decided not to give it to you" damn that hit HOOOME
THE KEY TO HAPPINESS IN A DISTRACTED WORLD: A 35 MIN MATT D'AVELLA VIDEO
most people probably won't even the to the 35 min mark because they will be distracted by another video haha.
Stillness is the essence of Life, even emotions are distractions.
What I really appreciate about Matt's podcasts are that he lets his guests take the reins and he doesn't take over talking about himself.
Thanks for interesting discussion! Here is my motto: "what other people think is none of my business" Being self sufficient encourages happiness.
This is one of my fav interviews you ever had !
I also, strongly suggest you to invite Sadia from the channel Pick up limes, she is great and might help you with inner peace and mindful living, her content and edits are delightful as yours ! Her vibe is just ugh what you aim in life .
I would to see you both collaborate ❤️🥺
Matt: "I'm not a maniac"
Sure...sure... your monthly challenges prove otherwise
shut the fuck up
@@szymonklimann3184 he was joking lol
@@scorebatgaming shut the fuck up
I've done one of his monthly challenges! They are good! Very hard but quitting addictions for example caffeine I'd easier than forcing yourself to do something(like going to gym 4times a week)
Matt needs to get into his car in order to arrive at his desk next door.
I remember he has a separate apartment for work now, but it’s funny to imagine that he drives for 20 mins around his block and gets back to the room next door 😂😂
That ending is brilliant!
The key to happiness. I heard someone say, "Happiness comes from growing and giving." I've found this to be true over and over and over again.
Same haircut. Same shirt. Same dreamy blue eyes. Different pants. I'm not sure what it means, but it means something. It definitely means something...
Ryan Lawless Both are into stoicism...so they are not interested in your opinion probably 🤔
@@hwitte73 "I don't think that word means what you think it means."
Nathan Folkman I read Seneca’s book about inner peace and the Encheiridion of Epictetus. The philosophical meaning of the clothing is ‘not to keep up with the Johnsons’ Am following Matt quiet a while now...Matt’s reason to lend one of his shirts is because the clean visuals. Tres simple.
Thanks Matt!! Can you continue doing more long format like this?? 🙏💙 love it!
The more we try to "find" what we need, the more we distance ourselves from happiness. In other words we tend to live in a conceptual illusion of time, when really its all happening now.
Explain better
@@papacold996 The constant desire to "find" something is what causes dissatisfaction because we wouldn't need to feel the desire to change anything if we didn't feel uneasy to begin with. This is not to say we can't have goals, but this moment right now is all that will ever occur, any objections, ideas, fantasies, dreams, fears, emotions, thoughts all occur right now. And most of the time thoughts aim to take us away from our experience because we believe we can change reality if we "think enough" but ultimately honoring our discomforts and finally learning to "sit still" as they mentioned in the video can bring a greater sense of peace and satisfaction with simpler things in life. Its counterintuitive but I have found that the more I accept whatever comes up in each moment of reality and relinquishing the desire to control reality through thinking, the less stressed I have become. In other words our thinking is often compulsive and just happens, if you asked someone why are you worrying so much? They would say because x, y, and z is stressing me out, but if you asked them "do you want to be thinking those thoughts" they would most likely say no. So essentially learning mediation and mindfulness allows us to accept all aspects of reality, including the thinking and times of stress and they eventually integrate which eliminates their compulsive nature. They loose the grip they once had, and after many months of meditation anything that is a habit generally looses its power to dominate our mind, its basically the rewiring of our brain.
I agree man. Buddhism does the same thing as stoicism and goes quite a bit further. Awakening is real. You can ask about it over @ r/streamentry on Reddit. Happiness is a practice. And meditation everyday is the path there. You want to stop being moved by distractions? Sit for 30 minutes a day and just watch your breath cycle. Read The Mind Illuminated if you want more knowledge. Be blessed!
Been putting off watching this for the past week now, SO GLAD I finally sat down and watched it
This is one of those videos that i come back to every few months. Definitely one of the best ones on your channel. Thank you for all you do!
“You can’t MAKE your parents proud of you” me: *damn, really* lol
Guess I should just give up 😂😅
so true!
Ryan holidays book is really good and this interview was like icing on the cake. Thank you matt 🙏
36 min THANK YOU GOD!!!!
Awesome as always. You were cooking, I knew it would be an amazing stuff delivered to us, Matt! It's not like all around YT channels, some more famous podcasts and shows from which I expect and know every intro that would be said. Here, the atmosphere is always good-ground up, tone of voice, the Mr. Spirit is present, and the delish - an unexpected short joke-poke which makes me laugh. It is so joyful to stay still on your channel. Thank you D'Avella!
Man this guy is a gem - This is by far my favorite channel! Great guest as well.
I know this is old but I only recently discovered Matt and Im catching up on the older vids
“We can think because Buddhism talks about things like emptying the mind” -
oh boy, you must have misunderstood something 😣
5:20 - and Nah, not everybody knows what stillness is. What real stillness is.
Being happy watching your video as I'm being distracted from the exam I have tomorrow
16:58 "If I get 15.000 subscribers, then I'll never have to worry..."
-Matt, has almost 2 Million subscribers
and he is still worry? :D
matts videos are so good tbh. he somehow make videos on somthing i dont really relate to, but still watch it and take in all the important info and also enjoy it at the same time
Another great video, Matt! Lots of helpful advice here. This one especially resonated with me: "You can't fix internal issues with external accomplishments. " Thank you, I needed to hear that.