The Key to Happiness in a Distracted World

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  • Опубликовано: 22 дек 2024

Комментарии • 2 тыс.

  • @katiebear14050
    @katiebear14050 5 лет назад +5017

    I hate the duality of my life, watching a bunch of content like this while distracting myself with the exact thing telling me to stop

    • @theblackjacobin3974
      @theblackjacobin3974 5 лет назад +46

      Well get to it

    • @VinnyTheory
      @VinnyTheory 5 лет назад +40

      I’m just gonna hop off my phone for the rest of the day after this

    • @sofiatryhub7106
      @sofiatryhub7106 5 лет назад +48

      We all do it, but it still works. Subcutaneously it influences our decision making constantly , maybe not 100% as we would want it to, maybe its only about 1% or even less, but its still more than it was before ;)

    • @sashamotovylets1753
      @sashamotovylets1753 5 лет назад +84

      Change is very gradual. There is a lot of talk in personal improvement sphere about these measurable changes you make in your life (I.e. not using your phone for 15, 30 and and then 6” min in the morning). This approach never worked for me. For me it’s more like try and fail, try again and fail, fail, fail, fail until one day I realize I have transformed from a person who dreaded doing a 20 min workout to being a person who runs 12 miles on a Saturday morning

    • @Splend9
      @Splend9 5 лет назад

      Same here

  • @mrsenor5233
    @mrsenor5233 5 лет назад +2294

    "You can't fix internal issues with external accomplishments."
    Wow, I like that a lot

    • @yliu7945
      @yliu7945 5 лет назад +7

      my brain got electric shock hearing this

    • @jules6856
      @jules6856 5 лет назад +2

      You maybe should read his books if you like his ideas :)

    • @jesusdavidcardenasangulo7955
      @jesusdavidcardenasangulo7955 5 лет назад +3

      That's amazing one. Surprisingly that's one of those things we know but always forget

    • @DSemedoVideo
      @DSemedoVideo 5 лет назад +3

      wrote it straight away in my notebook!

    • @princessthyemis
      @princessthyemis 5 лет назад +2

      ME TOO!

  • @amberiee
    @amberiee 5 лет назад +3830

    this reminds me of that saying “we buy shit we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like”

    • @Ruylopez778
      @Ruylopez778 5 лет назад +88

      @ismini that's largely what social media is; trying to impress others

    • @Quazima115
      @Quazima115 5 лет назад +65

      In tyler we trust

    • @SleeplessInLasVegas
      @SleeplessInLasVegas 5 лет назад +23

      Was that Matt? I keep picturing Gary Vee saying that. Haha

    • @shahadatali74
      @shahadatali74 5 лет назад +28

      All hail Tyler Durden !

    • @fightinandirish
      @fightinandirish 5 лет назад +23

      @ismini I don't think it's necessarily out of stupidity, just a deep and misguided desire to derive happiness from others, to impress our "tribe". It is sad though.

  • @RupeeNL
    @RupeeNL 5 лет назад +662

    The part at 17:24 reminded me of a quote by Jim Carrey: “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.”

    • @jjhassy
      @jjhassy 5 лет назад +4

      that’s amazing

    • @alexanderjosefsen
      @alexanderjosefsen 4 года назад +7

      me too! would be nice to experience anyway🙌😊

    • @Denverdude7
      @Denverdude7 4 года назад +6

      Jim Carrey is also deeply disturbed

    • @martywilsonlife
      @martywilsonlife 4 года назад

      I thought about that as well... instantly.

    • @VeritableVagabond
      @VeritableVagabond 4 года назад +1

      @@Denverdude7 shut your fucking mouth

  • @zojirushi1
    @zojirushi1 3 года назад +159

    Key takeaways on how to be happy in a distracted world
    1. Practice stillness. Stillness is NOT idleness and nothingness. It’s about slowing down time, appreciating the little things, think about what truly matters, and be at a state of zen.
    2. Don’t use your phone until at least 1 hour after you wake up. Also don’t look at the clock or your watch every second when meditating.
    3. Don’t get too attached to your screen and looking and responding to emails the whole day.
    4. Don’t listen to the if then statements in your head. Like if I get xyz I’ll become happy. When you do get xyz the happiness won’t last long.
    5. Do things since you want to not because you want to get your parents to be proud of you. There’s no amount of anything that will make you feel better about yourself if you don’t feel good about yourself in the first place.
    6. In order to be still Make sure your mind, body, and soul are all in check and taken care of
    7. Don’t compare yourself with others. Stop negative thought patterns.
    8. Deprecation is when you try taking away things or pushing yourself past your limits so when things actually get hard you know how to deal with it better. Preparation for a contingency Ex: putting yourself in a position where you’re not anxious about losing what you have because you know you can handle that thing without it. You’ll be better prepared when you don’t have something. More examples preparing for a bad review, your item not selling too well, or an angry email.
    9. If you’re a person who is dependent on your current way of living and can only live that lifestyle and salary if everything goes south you’re more vulnerable to the swings of fate.
    10. Enough isn’t weak or settling it’s actually an extreme form of power

    • @sobol2929
      @sobol2929 3 года назад +7

      Thanks you a lot for this comment. You have done a great job of understanding a main sense of this conversation. Also a good tips.

  • @AasthaHingar
    @AasthaHingar 5 лет назад +5187

    Matt has blessed us with a 36 minute long content. Let's appreciate everything about this video: the videography, Matt's biceps and the topic

    • @marcogil5092
      @marcogil5092 5 лет назад +233

      And don't forget Matt's biceps

    • @Sephonix
      @Sephonix 5 лет назад +157

      forgot to mention matt’s biceps

    • @blahber222
      @blahber222 5 лет назад +167

      sorry what does this say? too focused on matt’s biceps

    • @MrKitharo
      @MrKitharo 5 лет назад +126

      Sorry, couldn't see the video, Matt's biceps filled all of the screen.

    • @TaraWagner
      @TaraWagner 5 лет назад +23

      Not necessarily in that order. 😂

  • @caseyeverett9874
    @caseyeverett9874 5 лет назад +2518

    So cool seeing Matt D'Avella with a beard interviewing Matt D'Avella without a beard

  • @antonios25
    @antonios25 5 лет назад +411

    I close my eyes for 15 minutes every day to just listen the world arround me, its some kind of stillness, its beautifull

    • @site.x9448
      @site.x9448 5 лет назад +17

      In this case you're practicing mindfulness. You just switched object of your focus from breath to sounds :)

    • @gemsstr7933
      @gemsstr7933 5 лет назад +5

      Thats cool! it removes you from your current world into a another world.

    • @EdWood1EW
      @EdWood1EW 5 лет назад +7

      I think I will try that. Thanks

    • @blu3niverse536
      @blu3niverse536 4 года назад +2

      That’s how you develop balance ( inner balance )

    • @djr1003
      @djr1003 4 года назад +2

      STILLNESS IS THE KEY ☺

  • @AugustusCardoso
    @AugustusCardoso 5 лет назад +228

    The key to happiness is realizing that there's no key to happiness.. there will be happiness and sadness and we just have to learn to live with and appreciate both sides for what they are.

    • @davidd4696
      @davidd4696 5 лет назад +3

      part of being human👍.

    • @aaronsmith2929
      @aaronsmith2929 5 лет назад +3

      Yes, the ebbs and flows of life come and go like the weather ... humans can not control everything. Nature has its course as well and we are all very much a part of nature.

  • @ADAMBLAZEVIC
    @ADAMBLAZEVIC 5 лет назад +333

    Interestingly my quiet and still time is when I'm running. My legs are moving, my heart is beating faster but my mind is resting, I'm concentrating on myself, on my thoughts. My best ideas came to me while running, for example 'I have to ask my gf to marry me' and now, 10 years later here we are with 3 kids and a very happy life.

    • @dovydasgrigas441
      @dovydasgrigas441 5 лет назад +7

      its the same for me when i'm walking and skateboarding. Its the fact that i'm moving that isolates me from the outside world. There's a nice amount of solitude when you go out for a walk/run/skate especially at off peak hours where i feel i can just think and not have fears until i go back into my house.

    • @Ben14102
      @Ben14102 5 лет назад +2

      When I’m running I’m just focused on the run but I think a lot when walking

    • @minge9
      @minge9 4 года назад

      @Ob Oshiete oshiete yo sono shikumi wo
      I feel you brah

    • @manictiger
      @manictiger 4 года назад

      I do a lot of manual work these days and I get lots of self-reflection time. When I get in the zone when painting, it's almost exactly like meditating. Calm, but alert and... content, somehow.

    • @hassosigbjoernson5738
      @hassosigbjoernson5738 4 года назад +2

      "my quiet and still time is when I'm running" ... I wonder if that is some kind of "movement meditation" that is not as hyped as meditation in a room or yoga but is still practiced by many, many people!
      Let it be swimming a few round before work, cycling after a hard day thru a wood or as you said running.
      It seems like the body is occupied enough so that the mind can concentrate on things you have to sort out for yourself ...

  • @mardiana.x
    @mardiana.x 5 лет назад +810

    things i learnt from this video:
    1. stillness doesn't mean actually being still or idle, it's more of the moments that you experience no distractions and you are mentally/emotionally/physically connected with what you're doing.
    2. happiness is fleeting. i've been struggling with this for a while now - being happy one day and being downright depressed the next. but hearing you guys talk about how nobody is happy all the time - it makes me realize that i shouldn't dwell on why i'm unhappy most of the time, but try to put that energy to productivity instead.
    3. finding contentment really stems from knowing how much is enough. and knowing exactly what is enough for yourself and your happiness - that is powerful.
    thanks for such a thought-provoking interview, matt! i learnt more from this video than from a whole semester of philosophy class lol.

    • @jamesfzj2495
      @jamesfzj2495 5 лет назад +8

      I can definitely agree with number two, When I feel down I will just tell myself I'm alright, and tomorrows another day, the main thing is being able to wake up in the morning, or going to bed thinking of something that makes you smile, whether that's something you done that day, or looking forward to etc... Idg why i seems easier to dwell on bad things more than good

    • @VeritableVagabond
      @VeritableVagabond 5 лет назад +2

      Buddhism 101. Check out r/streamentry on Reddit and meditate daily.

    • @HoloScope
      @HoloScope 5 лет назад

      You're really pretty and I watched one of your videos and your voice sounds harmonious good luck with your RUclips channel 👍👍

    • @mardiana.x
      @mardiana.x 5 лет назад

      Holo Scope thank you so much! :)

    • @BharathKumar-zu2rh
      @BharathKumar-zu2rh 5 лет назад

      That's deep ✌

  • @0002Sanket
    @0002Sanket 5 лет назад +1211

    For me minimalism mean using iPhone 6 in 2019

    • @JroqFord
      @JroqFord 5 лет назад

      Sanket Gupta 😂😂😂

    • @povilaskirna4108
      @povilaskirna4108 5 лет назад +40

      That is true it's one of the pillars of digital minimalism. If one doesn't get enough value out of upgrade s/he shouldn't upgrade.

    • @RachelNicole
      @RachelNicole 5 лет назад +6

      I record All My videos on a 7 🤫

    • @NightmareMan83
      @NightmareMan83 5 лет назад +70

      I’m rocking an iPhone SE 💪🏻

    • @cliffordduhh45
      @cliffordduhh45 5 лет назад +21

      Same. Phones just aren’t interesting enough to justify upgrading anytime soon.

  • @landerlaurits
    @landerlaurits 5 лет назад +708

    "you can't make your parents proud of you" ouch.

    • @r.i.psteez929
      @r.i.psteez929 5 лет назад +52

      Lien you also don’t need their validation to feel good about yourself or to be happy which is what he was saying, you can control your thought and actions not others

    • @landerlaurits
      @landerlaurits 5 лет назад +21

      @@r.i.psteez929 oh i know, i purposely took the sentence out of its context simply because people often say they want to make their parents proud of them

    • @its_my_my
      @its_my_my 5 лет назад +7

      Therapy helped me unpack that.

    • @shaiyehezkelsy
      @shaiyehezkelsy 5 лет назад

      Tru tho

    • @IncredibleMet
      @IncredibleMet 5 лет назад +7

      Making that into a T-shirt!

  • @LandOfAnatopia
    @LandOfAnatopia 4 года назад +8

    I like how they don’t interrupt each other to get their point across, you don’t see that enough during interviews.

  • @PauloNideck
    @PauloNideck 5 лет назад +307

    That’s certainly one of the best videos on your channel, thanks Matt!

    • @bernardobila4336
      @bernardobila4336 4 года назад

      Fico feliz por saber que também és fã do Matt.

  • @WayofRamen
    @WayofRamen 5 лет назад +101

    This was by far the best interview I've ever seen with Ryan holiday and I've been a fan of Ryan since before his first book on stoicism came out. Fantastic questions that provoked amazingly thoughtful answers.

  • @osse1n
    @osse1n 5 лет назад +195

    We become so lost by the abundance of options and forget that *happiness is an inside job*

    • @stevensanchez2032
      @stevensanchez2032 5 лет назад +1

      So true

    • @cb2645
      @cb2645 5 лет назад +1

      O'SSÉIN - Master Your Mind With Me I am also subbed to your channel and is gives me confidence to take your advice because you watch tmf and matt

    • @osse1n
      @osse1n 5 лет назад

      Salutations

    • @Afflictamine
      @Afflictamine 5 лет назад +7

      just like 9/11

    • @2legit2Kwit
      @2legit2Kwit 5 лет назад

      O'SSÉIN - Master Your Mind With Me beautiful

  • @jackcrump557
    @jackcrump557 5 лет назад +126

    Ryan is one of the most intelligent and articulate people i've heard talk on this topic judging from this video

    • @CarftCrO0K
      @CarftCrO0K 5 лет назад +8

      Every single book he has authored was worth the read, that's all I can say :)

    • @VeritableVagabond
      @VeritableVagabond 5 лет назад +1

      Buddhism does the same thing and goes quite a bit further. Awakening is real. You can ask about it over @ r/streamentry on Reddit. Happiness is a practice. And meditation everyday is the path there. You want to stop being moved by distractions? Sit for 30 minutes a day and just watch your breath cycle. Read The Mind Illuminated if you want more knowledge. Be blessed

    • @callistomoon461
      @callistomoon461 5 лет назад +1

      Very articulate sure.... using the word „like“ far too often.

    • @magdalenakurtyka4020
      @magdalenakurtyka4020 5 лет назад +1

      He says many thought-provoking things, however most of the time I couldn't focus because of his constantly repeated "do you know what I mean?"

  • @nathanlambert813
    @nathanlambert813 5 лет назад +132

    "Be still and know that I am God" - Psalm 46:10. There's no point getting worked up in the busyness of life. Great video btw

  • @Jakesmusings
    @Jakesmusings 4 года назад +4

    As a mental health clinician, I use many of these same ideas to help my patients/clients with their anxiety and depression. Really great talk, I enjoyed it very much! Thank you

  • @fabulouspolyp
    @fabulouspolyp 5 лет назад +365

    stillness = mental minimalism
    in a way 💆🏽‍♂️

    • @yomomshouse100
      @yomomshouse100 5 лет назад +2

      Stillness equal dead?

    • @VeritableVagabond
      @VeritableVagabond 5 лет назад

      Read Mastering the Core Teachings of Buddha

    • @jennys9043
      @jennys9043 5 лет назад +1

      Oo I like that. I think maybe mental minimalism is something to practice/ work towards. When I first start meditating my mind is running at 100 mph, but after about 10 minutes (often 20) I can finally rest a little.

    • @nataliaivashkina
      @nataliaivashkina 4 года назад +1

      Wow mental minimalism, i kinda like it.

  • @snakonec
    @snakonec 5 лет назад +141

    Matt added ads to this video and I watched them entirely because I can’t afford Patreon but appreciate the quality of his content. :)

  • @sarahbethyoga
    @sarahbethyoga 5 лет назад +121

    Wow this was an incredible interview. Thank you so much for everything put into creating this thought provoking content 🙏🏼

  • @KiranKumarYT
    @KiranKumarYT 4 года назад +4

    Enough isn't weak , it isn't settling , it's an extreme kind of power .
    That's the best part of the video .

  • @kourtneywiththekurls814
    @kourtneywiththekurls814 4 года назад +19

    I was born in the mid 80s and grew up in the 90s and early 2000s. Back then, the Internet wasn’t a big thing. Well, not big enough to become a distraction. And these days, I find myself so stimulated ALL the time with technology, that I could cry. It’s like my brain is always ON. That coupled with not getting enough sleep is a recipe for disaster. I often long for the days of the past. I have been working to put down my phone while watching tv or working. Also, I try harder to put it down before bed. I deleted all Social Media and I can already feel a difference in just being still.

    • @kissepurr
      @kissepurr 3 года назад +1

      And to make things worst.... Most companies want you to use social media at work. My kid had to make a Facebook when she was in high school by her coach. She told the students they needed one because it would be the only form of communication between the team outside of school hours. Game schedules and everthing were posted there. Sucks

    • @nuggetsss2526
      @nuggetsss2526 3 года назад

      I agree . I couldn’t caught a break these days . Life is too fast paced and I’m always distracted . To counter this I only follow certain Instagram accounts . We are over stimulated

  • @rahuldkkk
    @rahuldkkk 5 лет назад +157

    I usually take my little daughter to man made small forest near my home in Mysore Karnataka India (its called Salumaradha Thimmakka Udhyavana) for a walk with no gadgets with us. we walk and talk and play with small tree stick and all the natural stuffs available their. and i ask her to sit for 10 mins without doing anything. its difficult for both of us seating quite, but we are learning.

    • @pradyumnasadgir2477
      @pradyumnasadgir2477 5 лет назад +25

      That's great man. It is heartening to see someone make a conscious effort to inculcate these values and more importantly, practice them himself. I'm sure you are a great father. Your daughter is lucky.

    • @rahuldkkk
      @rahuldkkk 5 лет назад +6

      @@pradyumnasadgir2477 Thank you for your kind words.

    • @praveenh6288
      @praveenh6288 5 лет назад +3

      Happy to know @Pradyumna Kulkarni Namma Karnataka ......

    • @ys-kv3ug
      @ys-kv3ug 5 лет назад

      So cute

  • @hannahbuske
    @hannahbuske 5 лет назад +214

    “You can buy a Lamborghini - but you can’t make it impress people” is my new favourite quote.

    • @Quazima115
      @Quazima115 5 лет назад +3

      I like Ferrari or Porsche better😉

    • @itsmelilsteve
      @itsmelilsteve 5 лет назад +14

      Let's not kid ourselves, a lambo always makes an impression

    • @HoloScope
      @HoloScope 5 лет назад +3

      @@itsmelilsteve nah i would be more impressed with someone who used their intellect to upgrade their car when I see a lambo I just think about rich snobs (I know I probably should get rid of that relation)

    • @somedudeinatunnel3102
      @somedudeinatunnel3102 5 лет назад +4

      I thought that was a bad analogy. We live in a consumerist culture, why wouldn't one of the most expensive things you can buy impress people?

    • @arzoo82
      @arzoo82 5 лет назад +1

      Yes you can

  • @michaelsaenz380
    @michaelsaenz380 5 лет назад +8

    Wholeheartedly agree with this, and i'm glad you posted it on youtube. These are the people that need to see it most.I recommend going for a 5 or 10 min walk without your phone - it feels weird, but it's extremely refreshing.

  • @StarlingofAzerath
    @StarlingofAzerath 5 лет назад +2

    Oh my God...I needed this. I never say this in videos, but this came on a fated day. Today I was stuck in a rut, trying to recover from burn out. And worried about my mistakes and future consequences. But then Ryan said, "you can't make people respect you, you can't make your parents proud of you... it's out of your hands." So true. So many things in life are out of our hands. We can fret and worry and be ambitious as we want, but if we continue to be driven by the approval of others, we will never be satisfied, fulfilled or happy. We need to stop doing things cause X person approves/disapproves, we should do things that align with our own goals and wants. Not to gain the approval of someone who will never be impressed no matter how much we do.

  • @abnormalspider7360
    @abnormalspider7360 5 лет назад +20

    Quit social media folks!
    I deleted every social media app from my phone and it feels great to not care about people who live their lives trying impressing others through social media. The less you care, the happier you get!

  • @keeprockloud
    @keeprockloud 5 лет назад +34

    "Once you accept that which is out of your control, you can control that which you accept"

    • @robertog8008
      @robertog8008 3 года назад

      Damn those are some real wise words

  • @amandamiller5243
    @amandamiller5243 5 лет назад +67

    I just deleted My Facebook and Instagram apps lately. I feel so much better. Love the content on your channel!

    • @ClassyLife
      @ClassyLife 5 лет назад +1

      I Appreciate 🙌🏻

    • @ohdagee
      @ohdagee 5 лет назад +9

      I found that the key is not walking away from the "problem" but rather facing it and finding ways to strengthen your stance to actually overcome and control it. Yes, I also closed my social media for about a year and a half, but I had to face it with a new mindset. That shit doesn't control me, I control myself in regards to it. Self control and self knowledge are the key to every problem. "You control the problem, the problem does not control you" and by deleting apps, it's somehow still controlling you. Get what I'm saying?

    • @grominwithrob1339
      @grominwithrob1339 5 лет назад +8

      OHDΔGEE I closed mine because they just had no true worth in my life. Your mileage may differ. If you really care about people, give them the most valuable thing you have. Your time, not a like. I honor people with my attention. When you truly give your attention the world truly comes to life.

    • @uetmk4184
      @uetmk4184 5 лет назад +1

      Same and it's amazing.

    • @c-los8144
      @c-los8144 5 лет назад

      If social media is a problem to you take a break and get ready to fix and face that social media problem and make it something good and loving, I really wish I could take my own advice but it happends to everyone.

  • @skylar141
    @skylar141 5 лет назад +325

    The key to happiness and success is wearing a dark grey shirt

    • @TruffleSeeker54
      @TruffleSeeker54 5 лет назад +2

      Oh shit my shirt is dark grey

    • @Leo_Inclan
      @Leo_Inclan 5 лет назад +6

      Damn it!
      I just went and bought 24 black shirts.... I already fucked up!

    • @ZapatosVibes
      @ZapatosVibes 5 лет назад

      hahaha TRUE!

    • @jjhassy
      @jjhassy 5 лет назад

      Skylar McLerran LMAO

    • @lucolyx
      @lucolyx 5 лет назад +1

      And biceps :)

  • @ahmadhama1981
    @ahmadhama1981 3 года назад +1

    I keep coming back to this video over and over again

  • @scubawithatuba
    @scubawithatuba 5 лет назад

    The amount of value you provide in free videos on RUclips is fucking amazing. I respect what you do and what you stand for! Love from New Mexico

  • @TaraWagner
    @TaraWagner 5 лет назад +193

    15 years ago, before smartphones took over the world, I cancelled cable for “more quiet”. I never anticipated how overwhelming phones would be. Mine is on silent most of the time, I get almost zero notifications, and I’m forced to be so self disciplined with when and how it gets used. Because, quiet. And also because, I apparently have either no self control or all of it. 😆 We are undeniably influenced by our environment. Which means we need to be in control of that environment even more today when so many more people have the ability to interrupt or influence us.

    • @MasculineIdeal
      @MasculineIdeal 5 лет назад +5

      Oh youre so self disciplined heres a pat on the back

    • @sophiagray3191
      @sophiagray3191 5 лет назад +7

      Notifications kinda give me anxiety, so I turned off almost all of them and keep my phone on silent most of the time. Still addicted to RUclips though, I could keep videos playing in the background all day long.

    • @TaraWagner
      @TaraWagner 5 лет назад

      Einz2 😂😂😂

    • @capybara6810
      @capybara6810 5 лет назад +4

      True! Mine is on silent too and the only notification I have is for whatsapp and not to everyone. Phone rarely buzzes.. happy that way.

    • @UnbrandedLifestyle
      @UnbrandedLifestyle 5 лет назад

      So true. I spent a good chunk of time deleting my subscription emails recently. I feel like having an inbox is also another environment to be in control of 😂

  • @rahimmitha973
    @rahimmitha973 5 лет назад +4

    Absolutely wonderful video! I love how Matt really lets the guests speak and does not cut them off prematurely!

  • @briancrouse9506
    @briancrouse9506 5 лет назад +29

    "People are able to go off in a cabin in the woods, they've reduced all external noise and then they find the noises in here", is just slightly off the plot of a Steven King novel/Stanley Kubrick screenplay. - Haha, kidding. Your quality in content keeps going up, thanks much, man I appreciate what you're doing!

  • @g-cellatwork5406
    @g-cellatwork5406 5 лет назад +4

    A bit messy TIMESTAMPS:
    0:00 Introduction on how distracted we are 0:50 Introduction to Ryan Holiday
    2:08 STOICISM: Powerful Philosophy to Living a Good Life
    ⭐️ practical life advice
    ⭐️focusing only on the things you can control
    5:02 STILLNESS: Importance to People Today
    7:16 Difference (or the Similarities) of the Ancient People to People Today
    ⭐️ Stoics experience the same dilemmas
    ⭐️ Preferred indiffererents
    10:01 Napoleon Mail
    14:04 Creating Rules for Ourselves
    ⭐️Pre-make more decisions as possible
    16:30 Accomplishments
    ⭐️ Conditional Happiness & If then statements
    ❤️ "You can't fix internal issues with external accomplishments."
    20:55 Chasing Happiness
    22:08 Making Stoicism a Daily Practice
    23:45 Parts of the Book: (Balance of the) Mind, Body & Soul
    25:04 Physical & Mental Stillness
    26:18 Voice in the Head:: Meditation
    ⭐️ Stillness ≠ Idleness
    29:47 Stoic Challenge
    ✨ "It's not the deprivation is a virtue" ... "it's about putting yourself in a position you are not anxious about losing what you have because you know you can handle that thing."
    33:56 Contentment: How Much Is Enough

  • @ymlopez05
    @ymlopez05 5 лет назад +3

    damn. no ads except one. i didn't realize how long this was until after. i was really captured the entire time and having no ads made me really truly think. thank you

  • @henryduong4728
    @henryduong4728 5 лет назад +38

    This must be a dream when my favorite author and favorite youtuber are in the same place.

  • @harryheadland
    @harryheadland 5 лет назад +336

    Anyone: grabs banana and coffee leaves home in the morning, drives for 17 minutes and arrives at work
    Matt: grabs banana and coffee leaves home in the morning, drives for 17 minutes and arrives at his house

    • @amwhik
      @amwhik 3 года назад +5

      This did not age well

  • @jonash.2851
    @jonash.2851 5 лет назад +699

    The only thing that grows faster than your biceps is your beard

  • @niloofar.jafari.m
    @niloofar.jafari.m 4 года назад +1

    dear matt, thanks for your videos, i could control my anxiety with your videos, and i became minimalist after following your channel , it’s about 2 months that i follow you. wish happiness and success for you and your beautiful wife. keep going, i am your big fan from italy! grazie matt, sei bravo!

  • @SI-ef3om
    @SI-ef3om 5 лет назад +1

    There arent really very many things that can comfort me at this stage in my life, but your videos always manage to. Heres from me and my anxiety and my depression. Thank you 😊

  • @poizonali
    @poizonali 5 лет назад +48

    "You earned [their affection] at birth and [your parents] just decided not to give it to you."
    Hit me really hard..

  • @TheRunningTips
    @TheRunningTips 5 лет назад +62

    The discussion about "enough" reminds me of this Sterling Hayden quote-
    "What does a man need - really need? A few pounds of food each day, heat and shelter, six feet to lie down in - and some form of working activity that will yield a sense of accomplishment. That's all - in the material sense, and we know it. But we are brainwashed by our economic system until we end up in a tomb beneath a pyramid of time payments, mortgages, preposterous gadgetry, playthings that divert our attention from the sheer idiocy of the charade.
    The years thunder by. The dreams of youth grow dim where they lie caked in dust on the shelves of patience. Before we know it, the tomb is sealed.
    Where, then, lies the answer? In choice. Which shall it be: bankruptcy of purse or bankruptcy of life?"

    • @VeritableVagabond
      @VeritableVagabond 5 лет назад +1

      Damn that quotes sums it all up right there.
      Buddhism does the same thing and goes quite a bit further. Awakening is real. You can ask about it over @ r/streamentry on Reddit. Happiness is a practice. And meditation everyday is the path there. You want to stop being moved by distractions? Sit for 30 minutes a day and just watch your breath cycle. Read The Mind Illuminated if you want more knowledge. Be blessed

    • @mays_alpha
      @mays_alpha 4 года назад +1

      That was amazing 👏🏼😯 Islam basically says the same thing, and it goes into detail as well. It’s very beautiful 😊❤️☪️

  • @doesntmatter6854
    @doesntmatter6854 5 лет назад +28

    Can we just appreciate how his videos are just superb! This is ART!

    • @Hasan-cq1sz
      @Hasan-cq1sz 5 лет назад +1

      zoozy 999 agreed it’s so clean looking know what I mean?

    • @Bernadettemckeevercoaching
      @Bernadettemckeevercoaching 5 лет назад +1

      taking the words out of my mouth.. Matt crushes it on the filming.

  • @taylorjanegreen1
    @taylorjanegreen1 5 лет назад +1

    This guy is one of the most brilliant minds and most accessible and most relevant that I have ever heard. Thank you!

  • @JAdeWii_
    @JAdeWii_ 5 лет назад

    Ryan Holiday is the reason I know what stoicism is. From him I’ve gained curiosity of everyone he speaks of, and am now reading these philosophy books that are helping me change my life. Also, I’m liking these funny clips at the end, you funny.

  • @Katielovegood44
    @Katielovegood44 5 лет назад +673

    I kept reading the title as ‘key to happiness IS a distracted world’ thinking that’s not right... then realised I was trying to watch the video while doing three other things 😒🙈
    What were u saying Matt?

    • @Ironathor
      @Ironathor 5 лет назад +11

      Exactly. I thought it's gonna be some dark guide of manipulating distracted people or reaching a goal while everyone else is distracted. Something twisted.

    • @gerard7417
      @gerard7417 5 лет назад

      @@Ironathor um que ?

    • @Phoenix-Brah
      @Phoenix-Brah 5 лет назад +3

      While scrolling through comments...

    • @siddharthsingh370
      @siddharthsingh370 5 лет назад

      SAME DUDE !!

    • @aaronbegon2092
      @aaronbegon2092 5 лет назад

      @@Ironathor reaching a goal while others are distracted is twisted? Huh?

  • @EarthStory
    @EarthStory 5 лет назад +7

    Thanks Matt and Ryan! I feel so privileged being able to listen in on these kinds of conversations.

  • @GrandGrady
    @GrandGrady 5 лет назад +16

    There's only one thing better than Matt's content...His arms, like my guy teach me your ways.

    • @gizmodelacruz
      @gizmodelacruz 5 лет назад

      He does actually talk about the importance of constant physical activities and what he does on one of his podcasts and I believe also in videos.

  • @SurajSharma-qp5oj
    @SurajSharma-qp5oj 3 года назад +1

    Philosophy is a lifelong practice, it's not a something you understand and everything is fixed from then on. Wow! I liked it alot

  • @walkitoff.
    @walkitoff. 5 лет назад +2

    I've only read Ryan's "The Obstacle is the Way." It was one of the books I read when I was at my lowest and it kicked off a massive personal journey out of depression and addiction. I read this and Andy Weir's "The Martian" at more or less the same time and they taught me that the only way forward is to just get on with it and no one can save you if you won't work to save yourself. I got in touch with Andy to thank him.
    So Ryan... Thank You. I can't fully articulate how much you have helped me.

  • @UnbrandedLifestyle
    @UnbrandedLifestyle 5 лет назад +207

    Scrolling through the comments while watching a video about distractions 😂

  • @maskedmotion1199
    @maskedmotion1199 5 лет назад +44

    I remember when every adult or even people my age at the time use to come up with something random and pretty cool when having a bath or on the toilet and now even that is taken up by your phone

    • @mikebolton2388
      @mikebolton2388 5 лет назад +3

      I know what you mean

    • @calmtortoise387
      @calmtortoise387 5 лет назад +2

      Wow that is crazy i would always have awesome ideas in the shower or toilet still do sometimes but maybe it was connected with our younger mind

    • @jurino
      @jurino 5 лет назад +3

      Exactly this! A friend of mine still swears he gets his best ideas in the shower. If you ask him a difficult question, he'll often reply: "Whoa, that's hard - I guess I'll have to shower at least 3 times to be able to answer that!" ;)

    • @maskedmotion1199
      @maskedmotion1199 5 лет назад +2

      @@jurino sounds a cool and very clean person 😂

  • @alfieswalks7021
    @alfieswalks7021 2 года назад +3

    “You’ve earned it at birth, they just decided not to give it to you” - so true!

  • @deserthobo
    @deserthobo 5 лет назад

    i read the title and clicked on this video expecting it to be some kind of buzzfeed lecture style video where they tell you "THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE DOING WRONG!" but instead i got a very easygoing and informative discussion between two intelligent people who don't point the finger and say "THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO!". Thank you for this great video!

  • @reetrathore3786
    @reetrathore3786 5 лет назад

    Hey Matt D'avella. I've have been following your channel for the past 1.5 years and this is my first comment on your channel. And I just want to say that I LOVE YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU'RE DOING. THANKYOU.

  • @Christian12345asdf
    @Christian12345asdf 5 лет назад +134

    Matt driving around in a circle to make us believe, he's now somewhere else...we know, brother, we know😉😂

  • @funnyvideos-funnyoutloud2618
    @funnyvideos-funnyoutloud2618 5 лет назад +9

    The key to happiness: Do your job, become good at it, try finding a job that you ike doing, learn ways to improve, *DON'T watch videos about someone telling you how to become happy*

  • @Apoetsnature
    @Apoetsnature 5 лет назад +4

    “They have reduced all external noise , it’s the noise in here” something about that just really hit me

  • @AThirstyPhilosopher
    @AThirstyPhilosopher 5 лет назад +1

    Powerful stuff. I’ll be buying Ryan’s book, for sure. Stoicism is really resonating with me lately: stillness, enough, things I can control, etc. Thanks for this, Matt!

  • @MaddieDream
    @MaddieDream 5 лет назад

    Amazing conversation! Wow Matt I've just noticed you're almost at 2m subscribers. I'm so happy for you, you deserve it all and more. Hope you're happy 🔥

  • @mattfromtarget8653
    @mattfromtarget8653 5 лет назад +5

    I've never been able to watch 2 guys talk on a coach for 30 minutes. I was able to watch this with full attention no problem

  • @Slickrick3858
    @Slickrick3858 5 лет назад +14

    I've read 2 of Ryan's books and this is my first time seeing him 😂 kinda trippy. awesome video matt, keep up the good work

  • @IssamMbarek
    @IssamMbarek 5 лет назад +24

    Anyone else noticed that the video is 36:36 long? Well done Matt 🙋‍♂️

  • @strandlie92
    @strandlie92 5 лет назад +1

    Let me just thank you for all the value you're giving us through RUclips, Matt. Your videos constantly up themselves both in production value and content. Thanks!

  • @SamHolland
    @SamHolland 5 лет назад +1

    Love it! I totally agree... having to decide what you will do everyday when you work for yourself is very exhausting! I will be making some rules and structure from now on and apply this to exercise, food, work and down-time. Thanks man

  • @NickPeitsch
    @NickPeitsch 5 лет назад +86

    We are the same as our ancestors.
    Just with a bit more technology!

    • @pamlibey4581
      @pamlibey4581 5 лет назад +3

      Investing Engineered truth brother

    • @TJ_Travels1
      @TJ_Travels1 5 лет назад +2

      A lot of the time the older generation acts like they were better than the younger generation when in reality they were the same or worse

  • @davidpaez3231
    @davidpaez3231 5 лет назад +263

    Matt “do you have any Napoleon esque tactics when it comes to email” D’Avella

    • @Iquey
      @Iquey 5 лет назад +1

      Unsubscribe from all spam unless you actually like the brand and read the newsletters. Check email(s) once a week or once a month if you don't run a business on a sit-down computer (besides your main email linked to your phone) and get good at remembering your passwords.

  • @AndreiLucaa
    @AndreiLucaa 5 лет назад +10

    Many christians don't understand the essence of praying, it's the stillness these two are talking about. I find it amuzing he didn't mention judaism or christianity, yet these preach and promote stillness all the time. Great video tho! Thanks for making this free, Matt!

    • @investyourmoney6348
      @investyourmoney6348 4 года назад +1

      Pray well Live well.

    • @AndreiLucaa
      @AndreiLucaa 4 года назад +1

      @@investyourmoney6348 well said

    • @investyourmoney6348
      @investyourmoney6348 4 года назад +1

      @@AndreiLucaa I stole that from a Pastor. Lol I just have never forgotten it. I need to be in prayer even more. Jesus said to seek his kingdom first & everything else will be added. The Beautitudes are amazing!

  • @RaindropDays
    @RaindropDays 4 года назад +1

    This is a brilliant conversation. I feel like I’ve found a very thought provoking gift in this channel. Thanks Matt for having these conversations.

  • @shvonned.burkemsncrnpagpcn619
    @shvonned.burkemsncrnpagpcn619 5 лет назад +1

    Great video. I’ve been practicing some aspects of stoicism and Buddhism for some time now, as they are similar. Not exact. It feels amazing because you, yourself learn how to do more of what comes naturally. Sometimes what comes naturally requires really hard work, while some other things just need to be let go. Finding stillness helps to delineate these things. However, it is challenging working for some organizations where many are always on GO about everything, before letting it sit with us for a while to consoider its success. It then becomes practice to accept and let the chips fall where they may. Outside conditions give us the oportunity to practice these philosophies in real time, real life.

  • @sockswitheels
    @sockswitheels 3 года назад +4

    "it was never yours to win, you've earned it at birth and they've just decided not to give it to you" damn that hit HOOOME

  • @prashant1571
    @prashant1571 5 лет назад +18

    THE KEY TO HAPPINESS IN A DISTRACTED WORLD: A 35 MIN MATT D'AVELLA VIDEO

    • @anab0lic
      @anab0lic 5 лет назад

      most people probably won't even the to the 35 min mark because they will be distracted by another video haha.

  • @globohobo
    @globohobo 5 лет назад +4

    Stillness is the essence of Life, even emotions are distractions.

  • @jonihaworth7016
    @jonihaworth7016 3 года назад +1

    What I really appreciate about Matt's podcasts are that he lets his guests take the reins and he doesn't take over talking about himself.

  • @shirleypeters
    @shirleypeters 5 лет назад +1

    Thanks for interesting discussion! Here is my motto: "what other people think is none of my business" Being self sufficient encourages happiness.

  • @youcansoften
    @youcansoften 5 лет назад +6

    This is one of my fav interviews you ever had !
    I also, strongly suggest you to invite Sadia from the channel Pick up limes, she is great and might help you with inner peace and mindful living, her content and edits are delightful as yours ! Her vibe is just ugh what you aim in life .
    I would to see you both collaborate ❤️🥺

  • @chasin2098
    @chasin2098 5 лет назад +194

    Matt: "I'm not a maniac"
    Sure...sure... your monthly challenges prove otherwise

    • @szymonklimann3184
      @szymonklimann3184 5 лет назад +4

      shut the fuck up

    • @scorebatgaming
      @scorebatgaming 5 лет назад +11

      @@szymonklimann3184 he was joking lol

    • @szymonklimann3184
      @szymonklimann3184 5 лет назад +1

      @@scorebatgaming shut the fuck up

    • @epicgamer0007
      @epicgamer0007 5 лет назад +1

      I've done one of his monthly challenges! They are good! Very hard but quitting addictions for example caffeine I'd easier than forcing yourself to do something(like going to gym 4times a week)

  • @1618-b2p
    @1618-b2p 5 лет назад +142

    Matt needs to get into his car in order to arrive at his desk next door.

    • @szonjacook
      @szonjacook 5 лет назад +11

      I remember he has a separate apartment for work now, but it’s funny to imagine that he drives for 20 mins around his block and gets back to the room next door 😂😂

  • @rpcheesman
    @rpcheesman 2 года назад +1

    That ending is brilliant!

  • @frontdeskstaff9359
    @frontdeskstaff9359 4 года назад +1

    The key to happiness. I heard someone say, "Happiness comes from growing and giving." I've found this to be true over and over and over again.

  • @RyanLawless
    @RyanLawless 5 лет назад +72

    Same haircut. Same shirt. Same dreamy blue eyes. Different pants. I'm not sure what it means, but it means something. It definitely means something...

    • @hwitte73
      @hwitte73 5 лет назад

      Ryan Lawless Both are into stoicism...so they are not interested in your opinion probably 🤔

    • @nathanf300
      @nathanf300 5 лет назад +2

      @@hwitte73 "I don't think that word means what you think it means."

    • @hwitte73
      @hwitte73 5 лет назад

      Nathan Folkman I read Seneca’s book about inner peace and the Encheiridion of Epictetus. The philosophical meaning of the clothing is ‘not to keep up with the Johnsons’ Am following Matt quiet a while now...Matt’s reason to lend one of his shirts is because the clean visuals. Tres simple.

  • @TimeFliesTimeManagement
    @TimeFliesTimeManagement 5 лет назад +14

    Thanks Matt!! Can you continue doing more long format like this?? 🙏💙 love it!

  • @nicholasrose1169
    @nicholasrose1169 5 лет назад +33

    The more we try to "find" what we need, the more we distance ourselves from happiness. In other words we tend to live in a conceptual illusion of time, when really its all happening now.

    • @papacold996
      @papacold996 5 лет назад

      Explain better

    • @nicholasrose1169
      @nicholasrose1169 5 лет назад +9

      @@papacold996 The constant desire to "find" something is what causes dissatisfaction because we wouldn't need to feel the desire to change anything if we didn't feel uneasy to begin with. This is not to say we can't have goals, but this moment right now is all that will ever occur, any objections, ideas, fantasies, dreams, fears, emotions, thoughts all occur right now. And most of the time thoughts aim to take us away from our experience because we believe we can change reality if we "think enough" but ultimately honoring our discomforts and finally learning to "sit still" as they mentioned in the video can bring a greater sense of peace and satisfaction with simpler things in life. Its counterintuitive but I have found that the more I accept whatever comes up in each moment of reality and relinquishing the desire to control reality through thinking, the less stressed I have become. In other words our thinking is often compulsive and just happens, if you asked someone why are you worrying so much? They would say because x, y, and z is stressing me out, but if you asked them "do you want to be thinking those thoughts" they would most likely say no. So essentially learning mediation and mindfulness allows us to accept all aspects of reality, including the thinking and times of stress and they eventually integrate which eliminates their compulsive nature. They loose the grip they once had, and after many months of meditation anything that is a habit generally looses its power to dominate our mind, its basically the rewiring of our brain.

    • @VeritableVagabond
      @VeritableVagabond 5 лет назад

      I agree man. Buddhism does the same thing as stoicism and goes quite a bit further. Awakening is real. You can ask about it over @ r/streamentry on Reddit. Happiness is a practice. And meditation everyday is the path there. You want to stop being moved by distractions? Sit for 30 minutes a day and just watch your breath cycle. Read The Mind Illuminated if you want more knowledge. Be blessed!

  • @sreekaransrinath4315
    @sreekaransrinath4315 5 лет назад

    Been putting off watching this for the past week now, SO GLAD I finally sat down and watched it

  • @alejandrar4715
    @alejandrar4715 4 года назад

    This is one of those videos that i come back to every few months. Definitely one of the best ones on your channel. Thank you for all you do!

  • @kandacenoire
    @kandacenoire 4 года назад +19

    “You can’t MAKE your parents proud of you” me: *damn, really* lol

  • @rezahabb2819
    @rezahabb2819 5 лет назад +17

    Ryan holidays book is really good and this interview was like icing on the cake. Thank you matt 🙏

  • @leosbaboguerra
    @leosbaboguerra 5 лет назад +16

    36 min THANK YOU GOD!!!!

  • @soulcostume
    @soulcostume 5 лет назад +1

    Awesome as always. You were cooking, I knew it would be an amazing stuff delivered to us, Matt! It's not like all around YT channels, some more famous podcasts and shows from which I expect and know every intro that would be said. Here, the atmosphere is always good-ground up, tone of voice, the Mr. Spirit is present, and the delish - an unexpected short joke-poke which makes me laugh. It is so joyful to stay still on your channel. Thank you D'Avella!

  • @itskagiso
    @itskagiso Год назад

    Man this guy is a gem - This is by far my favorite channel! Great guest as well.
    I know this is old but I only recently discovered Matt and Im catching up on the older vids

  • @llltdhn
    @llltdhn 5 лет назад +6

    “We can think because Buddhism talks about things like emptying the mind” -
    oh boy, you must have misunderstood something 😣
    5:20 - and Nah, not everybody knows what stillness is. What real stillness is.

  • @ozzi2856
    @ozzi2856 5 лет назад +9

    Being happy watching your video as I'm being distracted from the exam I have tomorrow

  • @PonyundSchleichfan
    @PonyundSchleichfan 5 лет назад +15

    16:58 "If I get 15.000 subscribers, then I'll never have to worry..."
    -Matt, has almost 2 Million subscribers

  • @ZubairAmini24
    @ZubairAmini24 5 лет назад

    matts videos are so good tbh. he somehow make videos on somthing i dont really relate to, but still watch it and take in all the important info and also enjoy it at the same time

  • @androidfanatic6528
    @androidfanatic6528 5 лет назад

    Another great video, Matt! Lots of helpful advice here. This one especially resonated with me: "You can't fix internal issues with external accomplishments. " Thank you, I needed to hear that.