First OP: the bigger issue is that Janie is so nonchalant after all of this. If she isn't showing real remorse for what she did, then the parents really need to drive home the point, so I think that expecting her to pay some part of that bill is very reasonable.
Her lack of empathy is my concern. All three girls need individual therapy. At 15, I think $2,000 is a lot, especially as American federal labor laws make it VERY difficult to hire 14-15 year olds (can’t work during school hours, can’t work more than 15 hours a week, I think only available work hours on school days are 3pm-7pm). This could potentially take her a full year to pay off, at which point, the lesson could get a little lost in the drag of the job.
I think that having her volunteer or work at a shelter (maybe for the vet but that could be a little too far) could help her build some empathy. Make her see what happens when people don't care for their animals.
Especially since that’s like about 3 months of working minimum wage (assuming she doesn’t spend any more money in those three months) and it’s not like she can’t rejoin the swim team or maybe get hours off
I'm 19 now but when I was 15 I was responsible for taking care of 15 birds and a few cats. My 15 year old brain was able to understand animal saftey. 15 year olds are not toddlers stop treating them as if no matter what they're innocent of all wrong doing. People using "oh they're just a kid" on teenagers are enablers Edit: if you're still not convinced, 15-16 have to decide they're futures before entering college/university but apparently they're still too young to be punished
I agree, I’ve owned multiple small animals from a young age and I understood what care and safety they needed. I’ve owned a cat since I was 8 and was the one to care for him, I still do to this day.
A lot of people seem to have this weird thing where they can't comprehend ages really well. Like yes, the human mind is not fully developed until around 25, but that doesn't mean a 15 year old is the same as a freaking toddler. If a 15 year old can be learning to drive (Learners permit), using a complex vehicle that could easily kill someone if done wrong, then yes they should be able to safely. I wonder how many saying it's too young are either. A-Around that age. or B-People who did some really stupid crap about that age that your average 15 year old wouldn't do, but they want to claim their stupidity was their age and not them being dumber than average.
I would have made her pay the whole thing. (Though, it's hard enough to get a job at 18-21, and 16-17 has additional restrictions, and 14-15 even more, at least here in New York, so a lot of companies don't want to deal with the liability, so...good luck seeing to her getting a job to pay it off.) I'd worry about making her volunteer at a shelter - it might actually be countereffective. She could harm other animals.
Story 4: A full scholarship to your dream college, and mom doesn't want you to leave because your new baby sibling. Even if she's not trying to make you a built-in babysitter, this has favoritism written all over it.
Totally agree. Also this child is very young. He won't even remember that big sister wasn't there the first couple years. That is why you do video calls and such. She should not lose this once in a life time opportunity.
what ticked me off most about the story, like, even if the mother isn't looking for a free babysitter .. it's the hypocrisy. Somehow it's ok that she left her own daughter to be largely raised by her ex-husband to focus on her own career - but somehow it's not ok that her daughter pursues her own goals when it comes to a child that even isn't her own, but her mother's. It's mind-boggling.
I'm a bit similar to OP with one of Mt cousins. She's 17 years older than me, if I'm honest i only remember her being in my life when I was around 11 when she came to visit with her ex, I do have like one memory of her being at our house when I was around 6 or 7 but that's it. So if OP did it it would only be for like 1 memory.
With that last story, that woman really infuriated me with the whole "a man should put his wife's comfort before his own", yeah sure, a husband should make sure his wife is happy, but same applies the other way. Marriage is a 2 way street. Both should benefit from it not just one!
I would have been proud of my husband that he had earned that reward, I would have *wanted* him to enjoy the full experience and be happy for him - even if I was stuck at home. The unexpected bonus of being able to travel out there too would have been gratefully welcomed.
Oh didn't you know? Men get married simply to become a servant to his wife and give up everything to make them happy, atleast that's what OP seems to think.
Why are people hell even parents in this situation so quick to defend or outright forgive racism this is why it'll never go away because not enough of us are willing to condemn it its either defend or ignore
I got married recently and I always put my wife's comfort first. The thing is, she's thankful and doesn't demand it and if I am tired and don't do my nightly massage for her or something she's understanding. This lady sounds like a real chore to be around.
See...that's a healthy relationship.....that one in the video is not. My hubby and I also put each other's comfort first and since we both do it, and both appreciate the other it makes a huge difference. Yay on you for being in a healthier relationship. 😊
I get the feeling he wanted to feel first class because she always takes the better option. She reminds me of the stay at home wives of the past that acted like men are there to work hard for their comfort, causing men to cheat, go gay, or commit suicide.
We can’t spend our whole lives telling kids “if you get a dog you have to feed it and walk it and take care of it” but not expect a 15 YEAR OLD to do the same. If my 6 year old can do it, she can open a fucking door to let the dog in.
exactly, WTF, 15 is too young to take resposibility, but 16 it's enough to drive? Come on, now I get why there are so maniy precious snowflakes getting offended by life out there.
The 15 year old should pay some of the vet bill to be sure. I'd also say it was foolish of the parents not to have put a popup cube out for shade and insist that they provide a bowl of water anytime the dog is on the deck. It might not have entirely prevented the problem but it could have greatly reduced the severity.
first story - nta. a similar thing happened with my sister, she fed our tiny dog so much human food that our pup developed pancreatitis. since it was so bad and she had to stay overnight for a few days, the bill was very expensive. my parents made my sister pay it off and our pup hasn’t had any other problems like that since
The first story: let's put things into a very clear perspective: Janie almost murdered the dog through neglect. Yes, she's 15 but I was babysitting children and dogs at 12 and doing a better job than that. This was her job often enough that she should have remembered to bring in Pebble. And heatstroke isn't a one time deal. Pebble is now more susceptible to future heatstrokes to the point where Pebble can't go outside for longer than a half hour. Janie deserves to learn a hard lesson. She didn't just make a mistake, she almost killed a family pet.
I agree with you, but I don't agree with Rslash. Saying, basically, that depending on the family's financial situation, OPs kid should be punished differently is financial abuse. I paid the family bills at 15 because I had a job and my parents "lived pay cheque to pay cheque" (I've thankfully learned financial responsibility despite them). I would have paid that debt as a 15-year-old feeling that it was my responsibility. But... frankly the parents should be cognizant of the puppy's needs and to put this on their child is a huge debt at an early date. A portion, sure. But 2k??? The responsible adults should be th a t. Responsible.
@@ggtragicsansbro6495 I get what you are saying. My mom never let me babysit when she wasn't home to help me if I needed it. And when I was that young, I only babysat kids in my neighborhood, which was only 4 streets. However, a 15 yo is not too young to handle the responsibility of letting a dog in and out of the house. She's 3 very short years from being an adult. She has to start taking responsibilities seriously as some point. I think what upsets me the most is how flippant she is about the whole situation.
@@marissaworsham3062 I don't think she is fully responsible. Just partially. I am also Very upset at how nonchalant she is about it. It's why I think the parents might not be that great and that she NEEDS therapy
@@ggtragicsansbro6495 I 100% agree about therapy. I believe all kids need therapy from at least the age of 12, if not younger. Especially nowadays. There's so much being thrown at kids to start with and then you throw in the all the garbage on the internet that they don't know how to process and it can cause them serious mental damage.
Story 5: YTA; he earned that perk of a first class seat, plain and simple, and while he had to pay for OP's ticket, she was getting a free hotel stay that he also earned, which clearly didn't matter to her.
@@generalcrab0009 it is 6. The 5th story is about OP who has the opportunity to study abroad. Story 6 is OP showing us how high maintenance she is by forcing her husband to fly coach while she flies First Class (which HE earned).
At 15 I had left my parent's home and was responsible for myself. I made a lot of mistakes but I completely understood that I was responsible for anything that happened in my life, good or bad. Janie needs to learn that her errors have consequences. She's lucky she didn't get a criminal record for animal cruelty.
@@raidn6901 I completely agree it's a different age. I don't see how it makes any difference. One generation or even two isn't going to cause a shift in the general traits of humanity to the point where a mid teen can't take responsibility for their mistakes. I'm not saying send her into the cold world to fend for herself, I'm saying now is a good time to start learning that some mistakes are expensive and there won't always be someone to pull you out of any pile of poop you might make.
@@andrewkent650 not saying not take responsibility but take responsibility where it won’t cost her future in swim team so maybe community service plus it has plenty of useful benefits
First story I would have my daughter do volunteer work at a Vet Office so she could learn more about the dangers pets faces. If she see the outcome up close and personal, I think she will change her mindset. This is what a friend of mine did with her daughter when she found out her daughter bullied a girl at school for living in a homeless shelter. She made her do volunteer work at a homeless shelter for 2 months. She cane out of there with a softer heart towards people who are struggling in life.
Itd be a good idea, just make sure its not an emergency clinic. I work in a vet clinic your berated by clients daily but you do deal with medical that wear you down hard.
@@shadowcatcher9967 but that would show the kid how the animal suffered for days, and might actually teach her to care at all about the wellbeing of animals. Depending on the location, maybe she could even work in one to pay off the vet bills she caused with her carelessness.
Volunteer work is actually a great alternative to the job. This would let her stay on the swim team since volunteers generally have much more flexible hours, but she'd still have to work on a punishment of some kind..
That’s a terrible idea. She isn’t showing any empathy towards the family dog, so what makes you think she’ll feel any empathy for random animals that she has zero connections with? She could easily start taking out her anger on the shelter animals. Volunteer work doesn’t make you grow empathy. Make her pay the whole bill.
The last story: I personally would’ve been so excited for my husband to be able to fly first class! I would’ve asked him after how it was and if it was worth it. I would’ve had fun with it too and sent a complimentary treat or drink through the flight attendant to the “really cute guy in first class”. There’s so much fun she could’ve had with it and made a memory with him. Maybe if there was another similar opportunity in the future then asking him if she could trade so she could experience it too. But this first time round is exciting for him and he did earn it. A good spouse celebrates with their significant other, not tries to steal their rewards.
My thinking is that the husband didn't HAVE to invite his wife. He CHOSE to. So what if he couldn't afford the 1st class ticket. I'm happy either way for a vacation
Exactly. He was entitled to first class, he INVITED you to come along. The flight is such a small part of the trip, what about the other things you'll share together? She's just a spoiled, pretentious brat.
i think ETA here. her for insisting that she should get the 1st class seat his company paid for instead of suggesting he trade it in for 2 coach tickets so they could sit together. you know, like a loving married couple would do. and him for even considering flying somewhere and not wanting to be with his wife who's on the same flight. i wonder how many of the other tag-a-long spouses on that trip had to fly coach while their spouses flew in 1st class without them. my guess would be few or none.
#2 - OP is not the butthole. The mere fact that other co-workers also reported Lisa's hateful comments to HR right after this coffee run incident bolsters this fact. If others were so disturbed that they felt it needed to be addressed, OP's mom needs to understand that this is just not acceptable. OP and her friends get zero, Lisa gets 4.5 because she ramped up the hate and would not act like a mature human person. Shame on her!
4.5 a-hole scores on the mother too for discouraging her own daughter for standing up for herself and reporting toxicity. She was basically telling her "No one likes a snitch" in disguise and telling her to enable abuse. She cared about a racist person's feelings more than her own daughter's wellbeing.
Yep, stop telling people to just "suck it up" when others are being so obviously racist, disrespectful and making the work an hostile environment and make those individuals face the consequences of being racist jerks.
@@Mario87456 So what if people lie? That doesn't give you the right to automatically accuse everyone of lying, especially since I can easily argue that you're the one who's lying. OP is objectively in the right here.
First story: plenty of my friends at 15 had jobs. They had responsibilities to deal and everything. My point is that a 15 years, while still developing is at that point where they should know the basics of responsibility. She does not get a pass just because she's 15. I say op is valid with their approach
@@ashleybohannon550 Same here, I was responsible, and still am responsible of my toddler brother. Just because she's 15 doesn't mean she gets a pass. I've been working hard for things I wanted since I was younger. Even at 16 I still do this. Op is justified to do what they did. That wasn't a minor mistake.
I worked at my family business around 15 (after school of course), I had a very strong sense of responsibility at the job, even though working for family is a great headache.
I worked at 15, but was not giving anything up except my time and the financial benefit was to myself, so… I don’t think it’s the same. But if they only want her to work off the dog’s vet bills, I don’t see why she has to give up swim club. There should be other jobs at different hours - like in the morning before she goes to school.
It doesn't really matter if the family is hurting for $2000 or not in the first story. It's about teaching your daughter the lesson that your actions, your failure to fulfill your responsibilities, have consequences.
I agree with this! I'm sorry, but how is getting a job to pay a bill, "Ruining my life?!" Yes, I understand that she has to quit swim team but she doesn't seem to comprehend that she nearly killed the dog and now it just, "I made a mistake I'll get punished and just make it up." But she's not fully getting it. I think this a good way for her to learn a lesson later on in life.
For me, it's her lack of remorse. If she won't learn a morale lesson from seeing the pain she caused her sister and her dog, then she needs to learn a practical one. Put her to work.
@@LilDevyl17 also the mom points out that swimming isn’t even the sport that’s going to get the kid into college, it’s just what she does to stay fit before soccer and her mom told her she didn’t have to work through soccer
Story 1: If it was to be blown off as an innocent mistake, Janie would've showed some empathy, but she was super nonchalant when a family members life was on the line (Because, lets face it, pets mean a lot to us all). Janie getting a job not only teaches her responsibility, and the weight of her actions (she had one job, and couldn't even do that, Pebble could have died and she doesn't seem to understand that.) but also can be a blessing in disguise, having a job this young will look great on the resume and help her in the future. I didn't get a job in high school and struggled for years to get any responsibility. Story 2: Talk sh*t, get hit. Lisa caused sh*t and was needlessly cruel, and faced the repercussions. It wasn't OP's responsibility to be nice about it, but she still was. Story 3: There is literally no reason for the in laws to come. OP was pretty vulgar but it sorta seemed necessary with how pushy they were being. Story 4: Its not your responsibility to set aside your life for your mums ineptitude. Any parent would be proud for what you've achieved, she just wants you to be a babysitter. Story 5: Heard this story before, yes. You're the butthole. If it was so important you sit together, you could've sat together in coach. You just wanted to get the first class treatment because you're a pretentious entitled b*tch.
My only issue is where Janie says "I'll have to quit swim team. You're ruining my life." It makes me wonder if she actually has a strong spot on the swim team, because if she does then that could be her ticket to college. Meaning she'd lose out on any chance of that completely. I do think that she should be expected to face punishment, but potentially ruining her future as a college athlete isn't the best option
@@DoctorOaks depending on the team, most of them can accommodate for jobs and outside responsibilities. most highschoold and colleges provide jobs for teens so most programs work around them for the students comfort
@@DoctorOaks That's an interesting take, the only thing that would sway me away from what Jade commented. However, when i heard that same sentence, "you're ruining my life", i just heard a person who wanted to hang out with their friends and has zero remorse for their actions. If Janie felt in any way responsible, they would be finding ways to make amends. While it possible for immature people to be great atheletes, it takes discipline and effort, and I don't see that in 15yo Janie. But, if you were right, then yah, that should be taken into consideration... but i still think the lesson learned here, however hard (even to your extreme), will be far better than later on when the stakes are much higher as an adult.
I agree with you on the first OP. Ive been working since 15 and it gave me responsibility, taught me a little bit more about money and how to be financially responsible and having pocket money is super nice
I used to act nonchalantly when I got in trouble because I could get the punishment & make up for it & it wouldn’t go any further. If you showed emotions it would go further. Not saying that’s it. Just wanted to share why I did it.
Yeah I was feeding horses by the time I was ten! My brother and I watered them, fed them, groomed them when we wanted to go on a ride….it taught us responsibility and to do things for ourselves! As well as teamwork!
Story 3: it doesn't sound like OP said that for stock value, it sounds like she thought the MIL was trying to be jokey about it because she literally brought up honeymoon sex. Who would imagine the MIL would actually just be that obtuse?
I completely agree from personal experience that it won't matter to him if she's not around for his baby years. I read your reply and thought about it for a moment, and then remembered my Uncle P, who moved in with my Uncle B in 2003, the same year they got a dog together. I was born in 2000, but all my earliest memories of Uncle B involve Uncle P and Leo the dog as well. When I found out that P and B got together around the time I started making memories, I was surprised. They could have been a couple since 1990 for all I knew.
Story 3: NTA. What do op’s in-laws thinks happen during a honeymoon? Even if they don’t do it everywhere in the hotel/suite/wherever they’re staying, they shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells if they want to screw.
Story 5: The husband earned it, OP didn't, yet she wanted the seat herself. Why not just buy it yourself, OP? Also, the fact that OP deleted her account really shows how she just wanted validation
Also, if the company is paying for it wouldn't the few others who were also selected likely be on the same flight and cabin? Why would she think it appropriate to butt herself into the shared coworker flight? I'm not married but I would think to treat it was an extention of a business meeting or outing, just because spouses are invited doesn't mean they should be mingling with the workers when in enclosed spaces. OP didn't mention where the other spouses sat, wonder if it’s because they were okay just with going not living up every expense such as the flight.
And the husband didn't even have to bring his wife. It's a job conference, not a vacation. The fact that he wanted her to join and giving out very reasonable arguments on why he wouldn't shill out on a first class seat for her, aka that they can use that money for a fancy date and that the flight was only a few hours long, makes OP sound really self centered and also stupid.
@@keriannekerr1876 A smart company does not put all their employees on the same flight. God forbid the plane crashes. Then you would loose whole departments or group of employees. Some employee handbooks even have limits per flight written in them.
First class seats aren't earned. They are paid for just like EVERY other seat on the plane. Buying airplane seats isn't a competition. Why didn't the husband just sit in coach with her and save his first class seat for another time when he is traveling alone? Or why not invite the wife for a trip when he has enough miles saved up to upgrade both of them to first class? The fact that OP deleted her account shows that she could deal with the small minded negativity of people who think the airline seats indicate someone's intrinsic value and are "rewards" for doing the baseline requirement for a job. ie traveling to work.
With the little brother one, I’ve dealt with a super similar situation. I’m the oldest of 5, and my mom unexpectedly got pregnant during my freshman year of college. The immense guilt I felt without my mother saying anything ate at me, and her comments made it even worse. Obviously OP doesn’t want to miss out on her little brothers life, but she should not be expected to put her life and future on hold bc of decisions her mother made.
@@zafert85 would have been respectful not to ask her about the sex but ok lol That and you earn respect. There’s common courtesy but if you ask an intimate question and are surprised by the response, that’s a you problem. Parents in law are just ignorant and needed to be reminded the world doesn’t revolve around them :)
@@toshi9742 earn respect? so an elderly in the bus who can barely stand has to ''earn'' your respect before you give your seat to them? GTFO, it might have been a stupid question but that doesnt make it okay to answer in a disrespectful way.
@@zafert85 reread what I said. You were so eager to jump on that that you obviously didn’t read the common courtesy part lmao Wasn’t a disrespectful answer and if you really believe that then that makes it a disrespectful question ;P
At 15 I had a full-time job. The fact that Jamie is nonchalant about the bill says to me that she can work to pay the vet bill & learn some responsibility.
On the last story, the company flew them out first class but back in coach. This tells me that the conference that they were attending was important enough to the company that they wanted their staff to be at their best, hence the first class seats. By stealing her husbands seat, the wife was stealing from the company.
@@savannahhess9337 He tried to go out of her way by inviting her on the first place but her entitled wife wanted a "free 1st plane ticket becase his husband earned it with hard work" and even on the story OP said that a 1st class ticket for a few hours flight would be really expensive.
@@penextrexe4380 why is nobody seeing that they both could’ve just flown in the lower class seats. Like yeah I would want my first class seat but if it obviously upset someone I loved then I would just downgrade and sit with them. That way nobody gets better than the other.
@@keeprxnning1826 The wife doesn't want the lower class seats she wants the 1st class one, and the husband can't give it up unless he wants to look unprofessional at work.
When you put it like forcing her to work to pay off the debt, it sounds way worse than I initially thought. I think the middle ground here is not to have her quit her extra-curricular, as swim-team is kind of a commitment already. Summer job seems like the best approach, and have her contribute half of the money to paying the bill. They could make this about learning a life skill for her.
As mentioned by another commenter, Janie was nonchalant about the dog after he came back from the vet, like "He's fine, so whatever", and she was only upset her sisters stopped talking to and hanging out with her. With an attitude like that, she would seem to require a stronger punishment than just any old summer job to pay half. She should have to work in an animal shelter and earn her money by being taught how to properly care for animals (feeding, cleaning up after, learning how to deal with animals that have special needs, etc.). If she still maintains her aloof attitude towards what she did, then she should be placed in therapy so she can figure out why she has so little empathy.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO that's coddling her! NO NO NO NO NO! Sometimes shit comes our way that we weren't prepared for. Wah! Suck it up, little girl, and go work off the vet bill. Tough fucking cookies if you feel inconvenienced. The DOG NEARLY DIED. There *SHOULD* be harsh punishment.
@@johnp.2267 Most animal shelters are volunteer and you generally have to be 18. A 15 year old would definitely never get a paying job at an animal shelter.
Story 3: They asked their son to come and he talked to his wife and they said no and then his mom texted his wife separately to be like “is it really that important?” And even after op said yes it is she still went on to basically ask why 🙄 so after being told no 3? times she still clearly wasn’t accepting that answer so she was really asking for it at that point. If she accepted the no the first time she wouldn’t know the information she didn’t need to know 🙂
@btshoeforlife 1) LOVE THE NAME 2) My thoughts exactly. The MIL was told three times, 3 TIMES! Why did she continue badgering the new wife if she already had an answer? Fuck around and find out🤷🏾♀️🤣😂🤣🤷🏾♀️
@@berylwheaten9385 thank you! exactly and its not like she doesnt know what goes on during a honeymoon so she had no reason to be asking the same question over and over like come on now she aint innocent lmao
I get it, but couldn't she just said "Yes" for the sex question? I know the MIL was pushing too hard, but she could've dealt with it wisely. I still don't think that her response makes her an AH, but there were better ways to respond
@@filipe.sm31 there always better ways to respond, she responded the way she did and there was nothing insulting in that response, especially after the in laws were pestering them for that long and refusing to take a no for the answer. but somehow i feel like the husband didn't say no to his mother, he just told his wife he did, to his mother he said that SHE did not want a company. So i'd give the husband a score for not dealing with his crazy parents and dumping it all on his wife who doesn't even know them that well.
@mushypork2132 that's a valid theory. But some people can take such an explicit description as sassy, unwise or mean. I'm saying that she could've the same effect she expected without having to deal with the repercussions
For story 2, what _exactly_ did Lisa expect to happen when she started acting like that? She has to be either extremely sheltered or extremely stupid to think that kind of behavior at work in 2022 wouldn't get her reprimanded. I'm almost kind of wondering if she was acting out to get herself transferred on purpose just to get away from OP, because her behavior was so over-the-top she was basically asking to get in trouble with HR.
I grew up on a farm. I was responsible for feeding and watering our 150+ hogs and 50+ chickens, by the age of 8. By 15 I was building new barns and mending fences, on top of the animal duties. She's more than old enough for a reality check.
I once had a substitute teacher who did a very similar thing. He would often tell racist jokes. One being where he drawed a circle with triangles with it and told us “this is the last thing a [N-word] sees” I have no idea where he is now but I hope to God he was fired
@@raidn6901 I think it might be a bit fair actually, at least to pay half. She endangered a pet and is very causal about it so it’s a fitting punishment. Even if it is a pet, it should drive home that actions have consequences.
@@raidn6901 at $7.25, with 16 hour weeks, it would take her 3 months to get around 1k so it would take 5-6 months to get 2k. She needs to learn that if you make a mistake and you have responsibilities to not allow that mistake to happen, they you need to pay for it.
Last story: op is massively entitled her husband worked for a first class ticket on that plane going to Florida on a work trip she honestly has no business taking her husbands 1st class seat because she didn’t work at all for it her husband even bought her a ticket!
Last story: OP said that even though they can afford another first class ticket, it would have hurt them financially, but she doesn't seem to care about that as long as she's treated better than the people in coach. It seems like OP might be a gold digger and only wants the finer things in life, even if she has to take it from people.
Full brain development doesn’t happen until the age of 25, so this “their brains are still developing” excuse is really tired when people don’t want to make teenagers take responsibility for themselves. I’ve been responsible for my cat since I was 9 and have never once locked him out in the blistering heat. 15 Is well and above old enough to know not to do that. Also, quitting swim team isn’t “ruining” her life, it’s a harsh consequence to a harsh action
Totally agree. I always see that 'their brain is still developing' bit as MORE of a reason to correct bad actions, not as an excuse to avoid it. They are still developing? Good. Then they will have an easier time learning proper behavior when disciplined correctly. Do people seriously expect that by the time a person reaches 25 they magically learn all good behavior? NO. That is learned WHILE the brain is developing.
Ok, but for all we know her having to leave the swim team could ACTUALLY ruin her plans for the future. That's something that could actually get you a chance at a scholarship if you're good enough, but from OP's post it's impossible to tell if she just likes it or if she's actually hoping to get a scholarship from it
@@DoctorOaks Yeah that's how I see it too. I feel like she's trying for an athletic scholarship. She should be punished but in a way that won't potentially jeopardize her future.
@@RedRum013 taking away athletics from a child is one of the cruelest things you can legally do to them. If she's going to work off the debt or volunteer to learn some respect or responsibility, it should not come at the expensive of her swimming and school work.
I hate the explanation bc the people that use it hardly even understand what it means. It’s just an excuse to be garbage parents/teachers etc and avoid teaching children well. A sociopath raised by idiots won’t be a mature adult without guidance. It does not reflect that they cannot learn, understand and show adult-like maturity.
Second story:Shes not only disturbing work but being completely negative! Your mom don't know what the heck she saying! If you let people get comfortable putting you down they are going to do it on repeat!
Yes what the mom said isn't right but you have to think back on what her youth might have been like. Older victims of racism tend to have a "Keep your head down, don't rock the boat" mentality because that's what they had to do to survive. Take a black man in his 80's for instance, a man that lived during the second wave of the KKK. Where even if you were a child, if you looked at a white guy side ways, him and his friends would hospitalize you and cops would pretend to not see. Where if your father spoke out against a suspected Klan member, you were woken up in the middle of the night to a burning cross on your lawn and several bricks through your windows. Where if you marched with MLK Jr. as a young adult, you were met with fire hoses, attack dogs and worse. Yeah it's the people who stood up that helped make things better but can you really blame those who didn't want to risk their or their families lives? We don't know what kind of life that mother had to endure.
But it wasn't a child. And leaving a 15 year old to care for a child every morning alone is parentification and therefore child abuse. I love animals as much as the next person, but you can't equate them to humans. They aren't the same in the eyes of the law.
True but the parents would also have some liability. I think it's completely reasonable for them to expect a 15 year old to bear some of the cost for the vet bill. I also think the parents were foolish not to put out a simple popup for shade and a water bowl just in case the dog was ever forgotte on the deck. Might have saved the dog from the worse of the heat.
@@SaireiTheDragon funny how you all play this card but people literally pay kids this age to babysit. Does that help your brain understand the context? Sau she was babysitting and left the kid unattended outside for hours. Can you now overlook your scapegoat of an argument to address the point being made? I swear you internet people are so obtuse sometimes.
@@andrewbader6927 the point is its a serious matter and the 15 year Olds behavior afterwards is the real problem. If they don't feel regret for what they did they'll simply do it again and assume the same result, that's a dangerous mindset. At 15 they need to be taught responsibility and it honestly sounds like grounding her wouldn't get the point across.
About the dog story: I agree that it depends how that money is going to impact the family, but 15 its an age that its crucial to star to understand responsibility and the impact of our actions, so if it wont be too heavy for the father to pay the bill, maybe he could ask the daughter to pay a part of it, like $500, so she can learn with it but still go back to her other activities after school faster and doesn’t miss a lot.
As someone who was babysitting my brother and making him dinners at 13, the 15 yr old in the first story should learn some responsibility for sure. Getting a job and paying off the vet bill is very reasonable in my opinion. There's even jobs where they can work like two days in the week so they could still do extra curricular activities. And better yet, once they have paid off the vet bill, they can keep earning cash for themselves now that they have a job
Third story is amazing. Snoop in other peoples sex life you can't expect not to hear details about said sex life. I mean what did they expect them to do on their honeymoon? Bake cookies, go hiking and have nice evening with a glass of wine while playing chess? Of course there's gonna be some banging around. I mean if they're so keen to be sleeping at the adjacent wall I'd say the inlaws are the weird ones.
And it's a goddamn honeymoon! Y'know, that phase of the wedding infamous for being about the crazy sex to celebrate the marriage? I seriously disagree with RSlash on this one, the parents were pushing boundries and the wife decided to be honest with them in a way that made it clear that they were not to keep pushing, all while keeping a lighthearted tone. It was a perfect response in my opinion and OP isn't remotely the a-hole for it.
I came to this thinking 'wife ITA' - then when I realised his parents wanted to take over *almost half their honeymoon,* I realised actually they were. If you don't like the answer - don't ask the question.
It's funny that rslash thinks this was too vulgar because he covered another story awhile back about a wife whose husband had just come home from a long business trip, and they couldn't get any privacy because his mom wouldn't leave the house, so the wife finally said "I want to have sex with your son, get out." And that was perfectly fine to rslash at least? But sex is almost assumed on a honeymoon. What did future MIL expect? Idk, the judgment was weird on this one
@@wessexdruid7598 That reminds me of the story of a couple who went on a honeymoon that the parents of one of them paid for, only to find the parents there at the resort, bothering them at all hours of the day. They finally decided to just ditch the parents in the middle of the night and go on their own honeymoon.
Last story: I would like to point out the fact that OP's husband had a first class ticket ONLY GOING and coach on the way back. She really should have let him have that small moment of luxury 😒
or they could have been in coach on both flights together. His reward wasn't a first class seat. He was just chosen to go to a conference, which also wasn't a reward either IMHO. It may look good with the company culture, but it's pretty meaningless on a resume. I'm also betting that the company didn't pay for that first class seat, but he used flyer rewards to get a free upgrade, but didn't have enough to do that for his wife.
@@hermeticbear Shut the hell up and stop looking for these comments. You know you're trying to get validated to feel you're right. His reward wass it or why else would a company pay extra. the woman is completely selfish as she didn't want to sit with her husband but steal his hard-earned seat. Your logic doesn't make any sense "it wasn't a reward." shut the hell up and stop trying to sound like master oogway. OP literally said herself that the company paid for it. Why would she be lying. And the last one just proves my point. It wouldn't hurt to just sit with a little legroom for a few hours. Who cares about a resume when he has a job. Also doesn't make sense right there. A reward for hard working doesn't go on a resume.
First story, I don't understand the reasoning of some people: so a 15year old is not reasonable enought to understand the magnitude of what she has done but as soon as she is 16years old she is reasonable enough to drive a car?
Given how serious of a mistake it was with the dog, I think having the daughter at least pay for HALF of the bills is reasonable. The dog almost died, the girl is 15 and has to learn her actions have consequences. Otherwise she's just gonna expect her parents to bail her out for everything. I mean think about it. If she ever became a mom, and she did the same to her kid (like left them in a hot car), shouldn't she be held accountable? Best for her to learn about responsibility before it becomes something worse. That said, with labor laws, for her to work off $2000 might be a bit much. But she should help out as medical bills can really set families back these days. Edit: I'm like 50/50 on whether she should pay for half or all.
The first story pisses me off so much, I have a small dog and whenever I let him out I’m standing by the door waiting for him to let him in and if he doesn’t come in a certain amount of time I go out into the yard to look for him.
the fact that she ignored the dog crying is the worst bit, she should get to pay the 2000 for the vet bill, otherwise she'll never understand the big ass responsibility that caring for other lives is
Well she wasn't ignoring the dog crying. She actually did what the dog wanted let him onto the deck. But it is her fault for forgetting to let him back in. She should have to pay the bill though cause she obviously doesn't understand responsibility
My parents had me start taking care of our many pets when I was only 6. It started off small but by the time I was 10 I was solely in charge of any puppies or kittens our pets had. I fed them and trained them. And when we gave them away people remarked what fantastic pets they were and even came back for another one when they knew we had more (lots of farms where I grew up, always in need of pets that are friendly but can be useful too). It's terrifying to think that a girl who is this negligent and apathetic about a beloved family pet is about to start driving a potentially deadly vehicle. What's to stop her from hitting another person and then being like "Oh I only broke their arm, see they're fine." Not sure if it's the parents fault for raising her to be this way, entirely despite how they raised her, or a mixture. Either way she needs therapy now.
Story 3: NTA. It's very simple: If you don't want to know, don't ask. OP's mother-in-law asked, got the answer and was salty because she didn't like the answer.
I disagree - imo, OP's response was super inappropriate and immature. MIL was being nosey, sure, but OP didn't describe her as the type who constantly crosses boundaries and deserves to be "taught a lesson". All she really did was make her in-laws and new husband uncomfortable and make herself seem rude. There are plenty of less weird ways to convey that message: she could've just said, "isn't that what honeymoons are for?" or, "yes ma'am! I already have my "outfits" picked out." or "yup... Not something you want to see I assume!" or, if she wants to be very clear "that's the plan...I don't think we'll have time for much else." I don't get why OP decided to make it explicit lol. It's just such an unnecessarily awkward way to set a boundary and it'll probably impact her relationship with the in-laws for a while
I agree with you. First they harass OP’s fiancé about joining them. Then they turned around and went behind his back and attempted to manipulate OP into agreeing with them. Instead of politely dropping it when OP said they wanted privacy, the MIL turned the conversation by being “vulgar”, asking OP if this was about sex. Eff the MIL for getting insulted by OP telling MIL exactly what she wanted to know. Just because everyone got offended, doesn’t mean OP was being offensive. They’re just mad they didn’t get their way, so they’re making it about OP’s response. Not about their inappropriate request. OP’s fiancé better get his dumb ass on board supporting her, or their marriage is NOT going to last.
@@k3upikachu Huh, different culture I guess? Such a joke wouldn't ever be considered "too vulgar" given the context of the conversation where I live. In fact, it'd probably be the perfect response here. You'd however also need to be comfortable with the consequence of that joke.
@@MLWJ1993 I'm in the US and I'm actually pretty open about sex and have no problem talking about it, but I wouldn't tell my partner's Mom that I'm going to fuck him in every room of our honeymoon spot...I think that's super weird
Honestly, with the whole Janie situation, I think this is a perfect punishment. I grew up on a farm and with tons of pets before, if something happened and it was my fault I would 100% be expected to do what I could to fix the situation, and with something like heatstroke that's very much a good punishment. Janie got EXTREMELY lucky that the dog didn't die and her being so nonchalant after this and complaining about why her siblings don't hang out with her makes it make even more sense. also, 15 is a fine age. She fully knowes that she shouldn't have let the dog out at all and should have simply put up with the dog's complaints but knowing letting the dog out and forgetting about it 100% makes the punishment fair. Also, 2,000 is a lot of money, even if you are well off.
In the third story she could have asked "Did your parents invite themselves into intruding on your honeymoon? How would you feel if you were young, in love, just married and your parents came to disturb your 'days of romance and passion?'"
Yeah, OP could have made that point. She thought her MIL was poking fun. And on that note, even if her comment was provocative (I appreciated the joke myself 😁), aren’t the in-laws being a bit prudish? It’s understandable they would want some sex on their honeymoon 🤷♀️
Story 1: $2,000 is a lot of money for a teenager, but I don't think it's a bad punishment. So how about meeting in the middle, she has to get a summer job and half of that money have to go to paying half of the bill.
@@shadowmewfred09 you would be surprised at how fast you can get money nowadays. I work as a lifeguard, I started with 13.83 an hour. Give it a few months and she can make it, also being a lifeguard will teach lessons and show how to be responsible especially since if you don’t act when your supposed to you can be sued.
@@shadowmewfred09 working weekends in the uk every week i made like £500+ a month. 4 months of weekends gone as punishment for almost killing ur dog seems reasonable
That seems VERY reasonable Making her get a job to pay for the vet bill doesn’t feel wrong, but making her quit the swim team and put ALL the money she makes towards it DOES Your compromise solves both problems. It’s perfect
Came here to say this. Unless they're in financial dire straights. In which case she can get a weekend job. Even if the weekend job is spending one day doing housework for a family friend for money or something like that
I have an 8 year old with autism. Even he knows not to leave a dog outside when it’s hot. A fully functional 15 year old has no excuse. Mistakes happen. But accountability isn’t waived just because you didn’t intend for things to happen like they did. A 15 year old that doesn’t understand accountability for her actions is a problem; but that problem comes from parents not teaching that lesson for the past 15 years…
Brazilian here. We have a dictate that sais "who say everything want to say, listen everything that doesnt wants to listen". I believe this applies to the mother in law. She was vulgar asking she had a vulgar answer.
I agree. Id never make my hubby give up first class. I didn't make him not go to the big NFL football game cuz I couldn't go. His work let the guys and their spouses go full ride down free food and beer and big box for the game. I was still recovering from cancer treatments and knew I couldn't deal with the bus or the food. I even told him to bring a friend cuz geez why should he suffer. Plus he'd been having to help me too for months. He deserved that day trip
what entitlement? that a wife wants to sit with her husband? Why can't they both sit in coach together? He didn't "earn" first class. He was chosen to attend a conference. I'm absolutely certain his employer didn't pay for his first class seat, but instead flyer miles were used to upgrade either his, or the companies. I have never heard of a company that pays for first class seats for rank and file employees to attend a conference. Unless he's the CEO CFO etc, there is no way that company paid for a first class seat.
@@hermeticbear you obviously didn’t listen to the story because she didn’t want to sit with him. She wanted to sit first class and nothing more. And you don’t know anything about companies if you don’t think they can pay for first class seats lol
@@locusxe1411 lol fourth time i seen this Baka say such a stupid comment don't you like it when entitle people like Hermeticbear shows that entitle people are a hivemind lol
I think a lot of people miss a big opportunity in the first story. The costs of your mistakes go up drastically once you are an adult. Part of your responsibility as a parent is to make sure your kids experience the consequences of life in reasonable ways for their age BEFORE they become adults, when it will cost them much more. This is a great opportunity for that, to provide a reasonable consequence that costs her something personally for a bad decision you made.
When I was 15, I was taking care of 6 cats, two dogs, and a bird, and I took that responsibility VERY seriously. Not to mention, I was also having to take care of my mom quite a bit whenever she had a bad relapse of MS. My room might of been messy af, but when it came to living things, I was incredibly attentive and responsible. The problem with Janie isn't just a matter of age or responsibility though, especially since it was a mistake that someone of any age could potentially make if they aren't paying attention or are in a hurry. My biggest concern is her lack of empathy for what their dog went through, as well as the emotions of her family in response to it. Also, her lack of remorse for being the one who was responsible for the life-threatening situation the dog went through is disturbing. Yes, the dog recovered, but if I had been in her shoes and made that mistake, especially at the age of 15, I'd be beside myself with regret and would feel HORRIBLE that I had caused my dog so much pain, long after the dog made a full recovery. How can she not feel any guilt over that? If she at least showed some remorse over this terrible mistake, then a lighter punishment, like charity work at a shelter would definitely be enough. But, since she seems to think it's no big deal because the dog is fine now, she really doesn't seem to have learned from her mistake, and it could happen again if she isn't held accountable for her actions. So I do feel that she should be shown how serious this mistake was by working to pay off the vet bill. Also, her lack of emotion doesn't seem normal, and, if she's this apathetic, especially if this isn't the first time she's shown indifference to highly emotional situations, it might be a good idea for OP to set up an appointment for her to be evaluated by a counselor or therapist, just in case. That's just my opinion, but many mental illnesses can cause that lack of empathy. Obviously she could very well just be a selfish teenager who somehow doesn't really care, but it's better to be positive that there's no underlying mental health condition.
I completely agree that she should be evaluated if this isn't the first time she showed indifference to highly emotional situations. Although there are a lot of mental illnesses she can't be diagnosed with until she's 18.
*First OP:* I'm not a parent. While Janie _does_ need to be punished for leaving Pebble out in the deck, I don't know if making her get a job to help pay for the bill is the best punishment. I would suggest having her volunteer in an animal shelter, but I wouldn't trust her around pets. Either way, OP is NTA. *Second OP:* Lisa was Islamophobic toward OP and faced the consequences. I wonder how OP's mom would've handled the situation? OP is NTA. *Third OP:* At least OP's in-laws stopped asking to join them on the honeymoon. 😛 LOL at OP's FIL for calling her a "sex monster." OP is NTA. *Fourth OP:* Why do I feel like OP's mom wants OP to stick around so OP can babysit for her brother for free? OP is NTA. Good for her for earning her high school diploma _and_ her Associate's degree! Here's to a bright future. *Fifth OP:* I'm siding with OP's husband. He _earned_ the first-class seat the employers paid for him. It sucks that he could only afford coach, but he didn't even have to invite OP on the trip. OP is TA. Nice zinger at the end!
First story: When I was 15, i had a lot of responsibilities forced on me, and when I didn't take care of them, I was harshly punished. However, i knew that my actions had consequences. When your responsibility is for another living thing, that is even more true. So forgetting a dog outside during a heat wave is almost thr same as leaving it in a hot car without the windows down. It's harsh, but her actions almost caused a death and she needs to feel the weight of that responsibility and her failure. Working off 2k is nothing for a mistake like that. She can rejoin swim, she can't get a dog back from the dead. The daughter gets 5/5
She could probably get a weekend or online job, or a part time one on days she doesn't have swimming. It probably wouldn't take that long to pay off either
@@raidn6901 That's called having consequences for you actions, plus she probably wouldn't have to quit depending on her job hours and if she did she could rejoin after
Story 1: I think she needs to help pay the vet bill. Either monetarily or by working off a set number (say 200) by doing extra chores around the house. BUT- I would also have her write a report about the effects of heat exhaustion on small dogs, that way she can really know how she affected the dog.
Pay off part is reasonable, but not 2 000, that's a lof of money. Especially for a child. All that said, I find it weird that the parents haven't taken any steps to make the deck safer for the dog. Add something to create shade, install a doggy door, always having a full water bowl on the deck. There are also these cooling blankets for dogs that would be helpful. The girl is lacking in remorse, which is bad. That needs to be addressed. But there are ways the parents could make their deck and backyard more dog friendly.
First OP: I agree with both sides with making her get a job to pay the vet bill. Then on the other hand OP can have her do volunteer work at a animal hospital, animal shelter or vet office so she can learn how serious the situation was of the dog having a heat stroke.
She's not going to learn from that though and they still have a bill they need to pay. She knew the dog was outside (somewhere she knew was off limits because of the heat) but "got annoyed and just left" she left him out there on purpose. Depending on what job she gets she most likely won't have to quit swimming and she'll have work experience to put on her CV and Uni application (maybe college too if you need one, not sure how American college works) and she'll learn to be more responsible. Plus, it wouldn't take too long to pay the bill of them she can have her own money. It's a won win for all parties.
Story 2: OP’s mom comment makes no sense, I understand the “Don’t rock the boat” but the moment this coworker starts destroying the relax working environment. And that coworker’s final comment on the bag, is horrible! So respect to the coworkers for standing up for OP and also making trips to HR to complain. Story 3: OP’s answer to her in laws was a little extreme, but yeah it’s weird how they suddenly want to visit on their Honeymoon.
@@Mario87456 your right Mario, if that's even your real name (you're not being anonymous online though are you?) you can't assume. All of these stories are from 1 persons point of view and you can only go by the facts given. I must have missed the part where OP could be a terrorist
Story 1: getting a job as soon as possible when you're a teenager is actually highly beneficial. I know people who didn't start looking for work until they were 18-19, and couldn't find anything because they had no experience whatsoever. So even if they don't make her get a job as a punishment, they should at least make her get summer jobs to help her resume and give her some degree of responsibility.
@@leeofdoom4452 are you been serious ?? 😳 OK for starters no half of the world don't look at dogs as food, infact if I remember correctly there are only 10 or 11 countries world wide of which eating dog meat is legal and the use of dogs as a food source is only used in very few countries themost common in China, South Korea, Philippines, Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia, and the Nagaland region in India, and it is not considered widespread in any of these locations. Moreover, the practice is becoming less popular in many countries, as the younger generations are more likely to regard dogs and cats as companions rather than cuisine. Dogs to most peoples are not like cows, goats, pigs, chickens, etc although you can have these animals as pets and I know people who have had all of the above as their pets, but these animals are usually bred and raised for food, dog are not usually classed as food to most people they are a companion and working animals which are used for sheep and cattle hearding, support and assistant animals, search and rescue, drug and cadaver search animals, and most of all dogs are mainly classed as much loved and treasured members of the family some people class their dogs as their children and they love them very much I myself have two border collies and have had them since the day they were horn as we owned their mum l, so we have had them for 13 years in December and I personally am horrorfied that people still do eat dogs and cats as part of their diet, I personally couldn't do it, I also won't eat rabbit but that's only because I don't like the taste, but many people won't eat rabbit because they see rabbit as a companion animal rather than food even though here in the uk you don't pay vat on rabbit food because it is classed as a food source, and many people still do eat rabbit, I used to show rabbits many years ago and most of the old school breeders still did it where every rabbit started off as a show rabbit then went onto breeding when it was past its prime then when they were no longer used for breeding they were culled l, the meat was eaten and the for was tanned and used to make things,
When it comes to honeymoons, a golden rule should be the parents of the newlyweds just… let them be. It’s a vacation, yes, but it’s the newlyweds’ PRIVATE vacation!
With the first story, I think Janie should pay about $500, but not the entire bill. - I think that would allow her to be able to keep some of original responsibilities, -give her some leniency of being younger - but still puts blame on her
Nope. She should definitely pay the entire bill. That entire bill is the result of something that was entirely her fault. Only making her pay a small portion of it will only instill in her the belief that mom and dad will always bail her out when she messes up.
Seriously, what do people expect from the first girl, a sobbing confession of guilt and a proactive offer to pay for the bill? Just because a fifteen year old wants to move on from their mistakes doesn’t mean they don’t understand what they did wrong.
Not to mention the responsibility was likely new, shoved on her unilaterally, and she has who knows how many years practice letting the dog out with everything being fine not during a heat wave, it’s a bad mistake but people are acting like she did it on purpose. Everyone is acting like she’s an emotionless monster, just because she doesn’t show it on her face doesn’t mean it isn’t tearing her up inside.
The double standards for teenagers are hilarious to me. I've seen stories both here and in other peoples' videos who cover AITA, where a 15/16 year old will pull whatever cruel "pranks," they'll damage property, they'll steal, and the verdict there is ALWAYS, "They're 15/16. They're *more than old enough* to know this is wrong, they *absolutely* need to face the consequences of their actions." Yet here, it's, "Well, they don't have a fully developed brain yet, so . . ." Frankly, not many places are going to hire a 15 year old, though. Add to that, if she has an extracurricular she enjoys (and that could give her a scholarship,) she shouldn't be made to quit. Instead, I'd make up a chore list with different amounts attached to the chores. She does those chores, she works off the money for the vet bill. The longer she takes doing it, the more interest gets added.
Plenty of places hire 15 year olds and she could get a weekend job or work on days she doesn't have swimming (also she nearly killed her dog, who cares about swimming?) Chores don't pay bills
@@Can_think_of_a_name I mentioned the swimming simply because if it's something she could get a scholarship for when college time rolls around, that's a burden that won't be added to the parents in a few years. If they make her quit, even for a year, it'll add that financial burden because being a year behind others will make it very unlikely to catch back up and succeed against others who didn't quit. I suppose the money issue really does depend on if the family is hard up for money. If they are, then okay, yeah, make her pay it back with an actual job. If they aren't, then chores that they expect to be done to perfection would actually be a worse punishment. And perhaps it depends on the area they're in. I'm in the US, and around me, no, not a lot of places will hire a 15 year old, and the ones that do will give four hour shifts a day because of labor laws. Then there's the fact that if she did get a job, she could end up having good/great co-workers and really enjoying the environment or making friends there. That's not the point of a punishment.
Story 2: I’m Muslim as well. I sometimes wear hijab and what ops coworker did is completely unacceptable. Seriously, I understand why some people don’t like Islam (lack of correct information) but that doesn’t mean you should stereotype people because of it. It’s like when people look at my sister and think she’s a Bible thumper because she’s Christian
Honestly it's nice to see most commenters here stand up for someone discriminated against for their religion, but also baffling because most commenters here are usually falling all over themselves to mock and deride and slam anyone who mentions they're a Christian.
Its so horrible when non religious people think stereotypes of you because you are religious or people of a different religion hurt and treat you differently because you have a different religion. Its just rude, horrible and disrespectful. I know its off topic a little but its so annoying when some people call Islam a cult or oppression because of some islamic countries which force Islam and think thats what Islam is about, even though you aren’t supposed to force Islam.
On the first story, instead of working I say have her do volunteer work at an animal shelter . That way she can BUILD more responsibility and animal care. I do agree age 15 is kinda hard to find jobs since most job requires age 16 with school permission. That's how that is in my state. When I did something bad that cost the family over $1k they had me doing chores to earn the money back. So doing volunteer is kinda like that.
But they still have a bill and she knew what she did was wrong and left the dog out there on purpose. It's easy to find a job at 15 and volunteering doesn't pay the bills. Your parents could probably afford the bill and were obviously very lenient with you
For the first story-- why does the daughter have to quit the swim team to work? Many places need weekend help, or early morning help if the daughter has first period off some days. I feel like there is a way to let her stay on the swim team while also having her get a job and working at paying off the debts.
Unless they’re hurting for the money now, I think it’s perfectly reasonable for Janie to work a summer job and pay at least half the bill. Presumably, there’s less team activity during the summer, and it’ll be easier to work a job into the schedule if she’s not attending classes. She still gets a punishment without messing up HS athletics, which are huge. If they want her to pay the full bill, she could do it over a couple of summers. Someone upthread suggested she also write a report on the effects of heat on dogs, and I think that’s an excellent idea. There would be no reason that part of the punishment would have to wait: she’d just have to work it in amongst her schoolwork and team activities. I think that would show her what the dog went through and impress upon her how big her screw-up was.
Bruh I’m 14 and i know that im responsible for my pet snake granted there a bit easier to care for than a dog but still age isn’t an excuse brain development isn’t an excuse the 15 year old should be accountable
Story 4: I'm not going to judge the mother's motivation, but I'm going to tell OP what I realised when I was just a couple of years younger than her (I think I was 16.) You are a child until you have to be the adult in every argument with your parents. Seriously, there's something about children growing up that makes parents act like toddlers.
I am so damn confused by the plane story. “What husband lets his wife sit in coach”. The kind that is financially responsible and using what his company gave him. He didn’t even have to bring her.
To me, the first story is a bit more clear cut in my eyes - that girl left a family dog outside in the smoldering heat because it was annoying her and showed no regret after realizing her actions almost killed it. Good on OP and their SO by having her take on a job to pay for the bill - but based on her behavior I'd probably have gone further than just that and taking her out of her swim classes. EDIT: To the three people who wasted their time spamming my notification inbox with vitriolic nonsense, kindly stfu please.
I disagree. I think she should work at an animal shelter for neglected animals. And she should not have worse punishment. Punishment doesn’t do crap, she needs to actually LEARN something. You’re just writing this because you’re mad
@@pulacascar179 if she didn't care about her own dog, what makes you think she's going to give a shit about neglected dogs? Her actions seriously almost killed her dog and she didn't fucking care. You're giving her more credit than she deserves. The LEAST she can do is pay off $2k and giving up swimming for a season.
@@SteviiLove how do you know she didn’t fucking care? Maybe she was just distancing herself emotionally from guilt making it look like she didn’t care.
As someone who had/has anxiety over my dogs health, admittedly not heat or NEGLECT related, she should be held responsible for the dog. Op if you or your family are reading this I'm glad pebble's ok.
3:55, I believe the daughter needs to suffer the consequences of her actions. 15 is more the old enough to understand that she needs to keep a small dog out of a heat wave and if she has such a horrible memory she could of always sat outside with Pebble so she wouldn’t forget. If someone hits another car and scratches it they can’t just say ‘YOU CAN’T MAKE ME PAY OVER AN ACCIDENT’ that isn’t how consequences work. Ops’ daughter needs to understand that mommy and daddy aren’t always gonna pay for her mistakes and she needs to step up and take responsibility for her negligence.
First story: It seems a pit too harsh to make a 15 y/o quit the swimming team if it’s something she really cares about. Maybe make her get a summer job instead?
Why make her quit the swim team? A minimum wage job in the summer can easily make $2k. In my state, which has one of the lowest minimum wages in the country, that'd only be about 25 hours a week.
rSlash: "Nosey parents in law...1.5 buttholes." Also rSlash: "She nearly killed the family pet and seems unrepentant about it...0.5 buttholes." Lol, really? xD
@@anthonywolfe594 normally I agree with his ratings, but this time, just wow. The 15 year old cause trauma for their sibling, and almost killed dog because it simply annoyed her.
@@Unbidden00 thats not what happened though, yes she let the dogs out which she shouldn't have, but the problem is she forget to let them back in. Its pretty ridiculous to act like it was on purpose.
@@derth9230 that would be a good point if we had good reason to beleive it was true. You got "she felt no remorse and didn't comfort her sister at all from "after he left the vet she was pretty nonchalant.
No, the first story the 15 year old should be held accountable for her actions. 1. It was a very easy thing to do to make sure the dog is inside, it's not labour intensive and she's not actively doing anything. There's no reason why she let him out in the first place or forgot about him on the deck and left for school. 2. She is capable of understand what she has done and the impact it has had and now that the dog is fine she doesn't care, this behaviour needs correcting. 3. Making her quit swim team for a little bit is a reasonable punishment IMO, she first made her family pet suffer in the heat which could have killed the dog, and also put her sisters through emotional distress, I think the youngest child is being a brat about this and isn't taking responsibility for her actions. The unreasonable thing here is the 15 year old.
The problem with Janie, she knew the deck was off limits. Shes 15, not 5. OP said it themselves, Janie "got annoyed and just left" she knew Pebbles was there, she didn't care. Even after, Janie doesn't care she's more concerned with her siblings being upset with her. Maybe don't leave your dog outside in fatal heat. She needs to pay for HER mistake.
Yeah but you really have to have the confidence that HR will side with you vs the coworker. This was pretty egregiously discrimination but it's not always that clearcut and about an issue that HR will care about.
That airline story made me realize how lucky I am that my kids don't use their parents to "mediate". I haven't heard about a single argument between my kids and their spouses. My son has been in a relationship with his wife for 32 years and as far as I'm concerned, they are perfect.
The last story: the fair solution would have been: he gets business the first flight, she gets it the second time(for her ticket). This way it doesnr get too expensive and both get the experience. Why nobody thought of that?
We need more people like you. A lot of teens still act childish and honestly at times stupid. You don't. In fact you're the most responsible teen I know about. Good on you for actually being smart and responsible.
First OP: the bigger issue is that Janie is so nonchalant after all of this. If she isn't showing real remorse for what she did, then the parents really need to drive home the point, so I think that expecting her to pay some part of that bill is very reasonable.
Her lack of empathy is my concern. All three girls need individual therapy. At 15, I think $2,000 is a lot, especially as American federal labor laws make it VERY difficult to hire 14-15 year olds (can’t work during school hours, can’t work more than 15 hours a week, I think only available work hours on school days are 3pm-7pm). This could potentially take her a full year to pay off, at which point, the lesson could get a little lost in the drag of the job.
And she needs to learn that actions have consequences
Agreed. Janie deserves a butthole score and should be punished
I think that having her volunteer or work at a shelter (maybe for the vet but that could be a little too far) could help her build some empathy. Make her see what happens when people don't care for their animals.
Especially since that’s like about 3 months of working minimum wage (assuming she doesn’t spend any more money in those three months) and it’s not like she can’t rejoin the swim team or maybe get hours off
I'm 19 now but when I was 15 I was responsible for taking care of 15 birds and a few cats. My 15 year old brain was able to understand animal saftey. 15 year olds are not toddlers stop treating them as if no matter what they're innocent of all wrong doing. People using "oh they're just a kid" on teenagers are enablers
Edit: if you're still not convinced, 15-16 have to decide they're futures before entering college/university but apparently they're still too young to be punished
I agree, I’ve owned multiple small animals from a young age and I understood what care and safety they needed. I’ve owned a cat since I was 8 and was the one to care for him, I still do to this day.
A lot of people seem to have this weird thing where they can't comprehend ages really well.
Like yes, the human mind is not fully developed until around 25, but that doesn't mean a 15 year old is the same as a freaking toddler.
If a 15 year old can be learning to drive (Learners permit), using a complex vehicle that could easily kill someone if done wrong, then yes they should be able to safely.
I wonder how many saying it's too young are either.
A-Around that age.
or
B-People who did some really stupid crap about that age that your average 15 year old wouldn't do, but they want to claim their stupidity was their age and not them being dumber than average.
if a 15-year-old can learn how to drive they can understand animal safety
I would have made her pay the whole thing. (Though, it's hard enough to get a job at 18-21, and 16-17 has additional restrictions, and 14-15 even more, at least here in New York, so a lot of companies don't want to deal with the liability, so...good luck seeing to her getting a job to pay it off.)
I'd worry about making her volunteer at a shelter - it might actually be countereffective. She could harm other animals.
No, they do not HAVE to decide their future. My sister started deciding at 17
Story 4: A full scholarship to your dream college, and mom doesn't want you to leave because your new baby sibling. Even if she's not trying to make you a built-in babysitter, this has favoritism written all over it.
Totally agree. Also this child is very young. He won't even remember that big sister wasn't there the first couple years. That is why you do video calls and such. She should not lose this once in a life time opportunity.
Hmmmmmm. I wonder why OP's father divorced OP's mother? I wonder if there is a clue somewhere that we're missing?
what ticked me off most about the story, like, even if the mother isn't looking for a free babysitter .. it's the hypocrisy. Somehow it's ok that she left her own daughter to be largely raised by her ex-husband to focus on her own career - but somehow it's not ok that her daughter pursues her own goals when it comes to a child that even isn't her own, but her mother's. It's mind-boggling.
@@augustaseptemberova5664 this is exactly what I thought too! She mentions her mother wasn't around much when she was little
I'm a bit similar to OP with one of Mt cousins. She's 17 years older than me, if I'm honest i only remember her being in my life when I was around 11 when she came to visit with her ex, I do have like one memory of her being at our house when I was around 6 or 7 but that's it. So if OP did it it would only be for like 1 memory.
With that last story, that woman really infuriated me with the whole "a man should put his wife's comfort before his own", yeah sure, a husband should make sure his wife is happy, but same applies the other way. Marriage is a 2 way street. Both should benefit from it not just one!
Yep. IMHO if they had one first class ticket it should have gone to whoever was bigger and more likely to suffer crammed into coach.
I would have been proud of my husband that he had earned that reward, I would have *wanted* him to enjoy the full experience and be happy for him - even if I was stuck at home. The unexpected bonus of being able to travel out there too would have been gratefully welcomed.
Oh didn't you know? Men get married simply to become a servant to his wife and give up everything to make them happy, atleast that's what OP seems to think.
@@PaladinGear15 then she divorce him and still get his money every month
It's classic female logic.
You weren't even the only person who reported her for that. Clearly she crossed a major line
Damn right
her "livelihood" was never in danger. she didn't loose her job. she still has it but is doing it somewhere else.
And other people may have reported it before this final incident. HR could have been waiting for op to come to them before interfering.
Why are people hell even parents in this situation so quick to defend or outright forgive racism this is why it'll never go away because not enough of us are willing to condemn it its either defend or ignore
I got married recently and I always put my wife's comfort first. The thing is, she's thankful and doesn't demand it and if I am tired and don't do my nightly massage for her or something she's understanding. This lady sounds like a real chore to be around.
See...that's a healthy relationship.....that one in the video is not. My hubby and I also put each other's comfort first and since we both do it, and both appreciate the other it makes a huge difference.
Yay on you for being in a healthier relationship. 😊
I get the feeling he wanted to feel first class because she always takes the better option. She reminds me of the stay at home wives of the past that acted like men are there to work hard for their comfort, causing men to cheat, go gay, or commit suicide.
We can’t spend our whole lives telling kids “if you get a dog you have to feed it and walk it and take care of it” but not expect a 15 YEAR OLD to do the same. If my 6 year old can do it, she can open a fucking door to let the dog in.
exactly, WTF, 15 is too young to take resposibility, but 16 it's enough to drive? Come on, now I get why there are so maniy precious snowflakes getting offended by life out there.
Agreed
This
The 15 year old should pay some of the vet bill to be sure. I'd also say it was foolish of the parents not to have put a popup cube out for shade and insist that they provide a bowl of water anytime the dog is on the deck. It might not have entirely prevented the problem but it could have greatly reduced the severity.
@@fdm2155 No. Make her pay all of it. The lesson won’t stick if you go soft on them just because they’re young.
first story - nta. a similar thing happened with my sister, she fed our tiny dog so much human food that our pup developed pancreatitis. since it was so bad and she had to stay overnight for a few days, the bill was very expensive. my parents made my sister pay it off and our pup hasn’t had any other problems like that since
The first story: let's put things into a very clear perspective: Janie almost murdered the dog through neglect. Yes, she's 15 but I was babysitting children and dogs at 12 and doing a better job than that. This was her job often enough that she should have remembered to bring in Pebble. And heatstroke isn't a one time deal. Pebble is now more susceptible to future heatstrokes to the point where Pebble can't go outside for longer than a half hour. Janie deserves to learn a hard lesson. She didn't just make a mistake, she almost killed a family pet.
I agree with you, but I don't agree with Rslash. Saying, basically, that depending on the family's financial situation, OPs kid should be punished differently is financial abuse. I paid the family bills at 15 because I had a job and my parents "lived pay cheque to pay cheque" (I've thankfully learned financial responsibility despite them). I would have paid that debt as a 15-year-old feeling that it was my responsibility. But... frankly the parents should be cognizant of the puppy's needs and to put this on their child is a huge debt at an early date. A portion, sure. But 2k??? The responsible adults should be th a t. Responsible.
I don't believe parents should make kids be fully responsible for other living beings especially not at the age of 12
@@ggtragicsansbro6495 I get what you are saying. My mom never let me babysit when she wasn't home to help me if I needed it. And when I was that young, I only babysat kids in my neighborhood, which was only 4 streets. However, a 15 yo is not too young to handle the responsibility of letting a dog in and out of the house. She's 3 very short years from being an adult. She has to start taking responsibilities seriously as some point. I think what upsets me the most is how flippant she is about the whole situation.
@@marissaworsham3062 I don't think she is fully responsible. Just partially. I am also Very upset at how nonchalant she is about it. It's why I think the parents might not be that great and that she NEEDS therapy
@@ggtragicsansbro6495 I 100% agree about therapy. I believe all kids need therapy from at least the age of 12, if not younger. Especially nowadays. There's so much being thrown at kids to start with and then you throw in the all the garbage on the internet that they don't know how to process and it can cause them serious mental damage.
Story 5: YTA; he earned that perk of a first class seat, plain and simple, and while he had to pay for OP's ticket, she was getting a free hotel stay that he also earned, which clearly didn't matter to her.
Story 6*
she was just jealous of her husband having a better seat while she had to ride with the peasants. Wouldn't look good on her FB story.
@@TheJello no it was 5
i personally think that if she was gonna bitch about it she shouldn’t have came with him
@@generalcrab0009 it is 6. The 5th story is about OP who has the opportunity to study abroad. Story 6 is OP showing us how high maintenance she is by forcing her husband to fly coach while she flies First Class (which HE earned).
At 15 I had left my parent's home and was responsible for myself. I made a lot of mistakes but I completely understood that I was responsible for anything that happened in my life, good or bad. Janie needs to learn that her errors have consequences. She's lucky she didn't get a criminal record for animal cruelty.
Today is a different day and age so she never had your responsibility’s don’t be biased based off of what you did
@@raidn6901 I completely agree it's a different age. I don't see how it makes any difference. One generation or even two isn't going to cause a shift in the general traits of humanity to the point where a mid teen can't take responsibility for their mistakes. I'm not saying send her into the cold world to fend for herself, I'm saying now is a good time to start learning that some mistakes are expensive and there won't always be someone to pull you out of any pile of poop you might make.
👍 teacher consequences for her mistakes before she finds out when she becomes a adult.
@@raidn6901 hes sill right lmao
@@andrewkent650 not saying not take responsibility but take responsibility where it won’t cost her future in swim team so maybe community service plus it has plenty of useful benefits
First story I would have my daughter do volunteer work at a Vet Office so she could learn more about the dangers pets faces. If she see the outcome up close and personal, I think she will change her mindset. This is what a friend of mine did with her daughter when she found out her daughter bullied a girl at school for living in a homeless shelter. She made her do volunteer work at a homeless shelter for 2 months. She cane out of there with a softer heart towards people who are struggling in life.
That's a good idea 😇💯
Itd be a good idea, just make sure its not an emergency clinic. I work in a vet clinic your berated by clients daily but you do deal with medical that wear you down hard.
@@shadowcatcher9967 but that would show the kid how the animal suffered for days, and might actually teach her to care at all about the wellbeing of animals. Depending on the location, maybe she could even work in one to pay off the vet bills she caused with her carelessness.
Volunteer work is actually a great alternative to the job. This would let her stay on the swim team since volunteers generally have much more flexible hours, but she'd still have to work on a punishment of some kind..
That’s a terrible idea. She isn’t showing any empathy towards the family dog, so what makes you think she’ll feel any empathy for random animals that she has zero connections with? She could easily start taking out her anger on the shelter animals.
Volunteer work doesn’t make you grow empathy. Make her pay the whole bill.
The last story: I personally would’ve been so excited for my husband to be able to fly first class! I would’ve asked him after how it was and if it was worth it. I would’ve had fun with it too and sent a complimentary treat or drink through the flight attendant to the “really cute guy in first class”. There’s so much fun she could’ve had with it and made a memory with him. Maybe if there was another similar opportunity in the future then asking him if she could trade so she could experience it too. But this first time round is exciting for him and he did earn it. A good spouse celebrates with their significant other, not tries to steal their rewards.
My thinking is that the husband didn't HAVE to invite his wife. He CHOSE to. So what if he couldn't afford the 1st class ticket. I'm happy either way for a vacation
agreed. How does she expect him to celebrate her if she can't do the same? She wasn't being a gentlewoman that's for sure.
Exactly. He was entitled to first class, he INVITED you to come along. The flight is such a small part of the trip, what about the other things you'll share together? She's just a spoiled, pretentious brat.
i think ETA here. her for insisting that she should get the 1st class seat his company paid for instead of suggesting he trade it in for 2 coach tickets so they could sit together. you know, like a loving married couple would do. and him for even considering flying somewhere and not wanting to be with his wife who's on the same flight. i wonder how many of the other tag-a-long spouses on that trip had to fly coach while their spouses flew in 1st class without them. my guess would be few or none.
Could not have said it better
#2 - OP is not the butthole. The mere fact that other co-workers also reported Lisa's hateful comments to HR right after this coffee run incident bolsters this fact. If others were so disturbed that they felt it needed to be addressed, OP's mom needs to understand that this is just not acceptable. OP and her friends get zero, Lisa gets 4.5 because she ramped up the hate and would not act like a mature human person. Shame on her!
4.5 a-hole scores on the mother too for discouraging her own daughter for standing up for herself and reporting toxicity. She was basically telling her "No one likes a snitch" in disguise and telling her to enable abuse. She cared about a racist person's feelings more than her own daughter's wellbeing.
Yep, stop telling people to just "suck it up" when others are being so obviously racist, disrespectful and making the work an hostile environment and make those individuals face the consequences of being racist jerks.
@@Mario87456 Except she wasn't, it doesn't matter if Lily thought she did.
@@Bobo-Nose People lie on the internet so you are likely WRONG.
@@Mario87456 So what if people lie? That doesn't give you the right to automatically accuse everyone of lying, especially since I can easily argue that you're the one who's lying. OP is objectively in the right here.
That plane ticket story got to me. Next time his job sends him first class to an "exotic" location, he just won't tell her.
First story: plenty of my friends at 15 had jobs. They had responsibilities to deal and everything. My point is that a 15 years, while still developing is at that point where they should know the basics of responsibility. She does not get a pass just because she's 15. I say op is valid with their approach
At 15 I was a babysitter. At that age I was responsible for 4 kids.
@@ashleybohannon550 Same here, I was responsible, and still am responsible of my toddler brother. Just because she's 15 doesn't mean she gets a pass. I've been working hard for things I wanted since I was younger. Even at 16 I still do this. Op is justified to do what they did. That wasn't a minor mistake.
I worked at my family business around 15 (after school of course), I had a very strong sense of responsibility at the job, even though working for family is a great headache.
Id have given the brat a hiding as well!
I worked at 15, but was not giving anything up except my time and the financial benefit was to myself, so… I don’t think it’s the same.
But if they only want her to work off the dog’s vet bills, I don’t see why she has to give up swim club. There should be other jobs at different hours - like in the morning before she goes to school.
It doesn't really matter if the family is hurting for $2000 or not in the first story. It's about teaching your daughter the lesson that your actions, your failure to fulfill your responsibilities, have consequences.
I agree with this! I'm sorry, but how is getting a job to pay a bill, "Ruining my life?!" Yes, I understand that she has to quit swim team but she doesn't seem to comprehend that she nearly killed the dog and now it just, "I made a mistake I'll get punished and just make it up." But she's not fully getting it. I think this a good way for her to learn a lesson later on in life.
For me, it's her lack of remorse. If she won't learn a morale lesson from seeing the pain she caused her sister and her dog, then she needs to learn a practical one. Put her to work.
@@LilDevyl17 also the mom points out that swimming isn’t even the sport that’s going to get the kid into college, it’s just what she does to stay fit before soccer and her mom told her she didn’t have to work through soccer
I'd have given the brat a hiding!
@@LilDevyl17 yeah but quitting the swim team might make her lose out on varsity and scholarships plus community work is flexible unlike a job
Story 1: If it was to be blown off as an innocent mistake, Janie would've showed some empathy, but she was super nonchalant when a family members life was on the line (Because, lets face it, pets mean a lot to us all). Janie getting a job not only teaches her responsibility, and the weight of her actions (she had one job, and couldn't even do that, Pebble could have died and she doesn't seem to understand that.) but also can be a blessing in disguise, having a job this young will look great on the resume and help her in the future. I didn't get a job in high school and struggled for years to get any responsibility.
Story 2: Talk sh*t, get hit. Lisa caused sh*t and was needlessly cruel, and faced the repercussions. It wasn't OP's responsibility to be nice about it, but she still was.
Story 3: There is literally no reason for the in laws to come. OP was pretty vulgar but it sorta seemed necessary with how pushy they were being.
Story 4: Its not your responsibility to set aside your life for your mums ineptitude. Any parent would be proud for what you've achieved, she just wants you to be a babysitter.
Story 5: Heard this story before, yes. You're the butthole. If it was so important you sit together, you could've sat together in coach. You just wanted to get the first class treatment because you're a pretentious entitled b*tch.
My only issue is where Janie says "I'll have to quit swim team. You're ruining my life."
It makes me wonder if she actually has a strong spot on the swim team, because if she does then that could be her ticket to college. Meaning she'd lose out on any chance of that completely.
I do think that she should be expected to face punishment, but potentially ruining her future as a college athlete isn't the best option
@@DoctorOaks depending on the team, most of them can accommodate for jobs and outside responsibilities. most highschoold and colleges provide jobs for teens so most programs work around them for the students comfort
@@DoctorOaks That's an interesting take, the only thing that would sway me away from what Jade commented. However, when i heard that same sentence, "you're ruining my life", i just heard a person who wanted to hang out with their friends and has zero remorse for their actions. If Janie felt in any way responsible, they would be finding ways to make amends. While it possible for immature people to be great atheletes, it takes discipline and effort, and I don't see that in 15yo Janie. But, if you were right, then yah, that should be taken into consideration... but i still think the lesson learned here, however hard (even to your extreme), will be far better than later on when the stakes are much higher as an adult.
I agree with you on the first OP. Ive been working since 15 and it gave me responsibility, taught me a little bit more about money and how to be financially responsible and having pocket money is super nice
I used to act nonchalantly when I got in trouble because I could get the punishment & make up for it & it wouldn’t go any further. If you showed emotions it would go further. Not saying that’s it. Just wanted to share why I did it.
as a 15 year old who takes care of 2 rats, i can definitelly say that age has nothing to do with her not being responsible
You shouldn't talk about your siblings like that! LOL.
Yea for me it’s my dog but I can easily look after him and remember to keep him fed etc even if I’m busy!
Yeah I was feeding horses by the time I was ten!
My brother and I watered them, fed them, groomed them when we wanted to go on a ride….it taught us responsibility and to do things for ourselves!
As well as teamwork!
14 year old 2 dogs and a cat and I manage it a not that hard actually just bathing them but I don't do that
Story 3: it doesn't sound like OP said that for stock value, it sounds like she thought the MIL was trying to be jokey about it because she literally brought up honeymoon sex. Who would imagine the MIL would actually just be that obtuse?
I hope if they try for a baby, OP just tells her MIL "your son has been rawdogging me and giving me sloppy creampies".
For the fourth story, the little brother won’t remember anything about the first years. And yes, it does sound like mom wanted a babysitter
I completely agree from personal experience that it won't matter to him if she's not around for his baby years. I read your reply and thought about it for a moment, and then remembered my Uncle P, who moved in with my Uncle B in 2003, the same year they got a dog together.
I was born in 2000, but all my earliest memories of Uncle B involve Uncle P and Leo the dog as well. When I found out that P and B got together around the time I started making memories, I was surprised. They could have been a couple since 1990 for all I knew.
Story 3: NTA. What do op’s in-laws thinks happen during a honeymoon? Even if they don’t do it everywhere in the hotel/suite/wherever they’re staying, they shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells if they want to screw.
Also, it seems to me like OP's MIL is the one who brought it up. OP responded to her MIL said.
Story 5: The husband earned it, OP didn't, yet she wanted the seat herself. Why not just buy it yourself, OP?
Also, the fact that OP deleted her account really shows how she just wanted validation
Also, if the company is paying for it wouldn't the few others who were also selected likely be on the same flight and cabin? Why would she think it appropriate to butt herself into the shared coworker flight? I'm not married but I would think to treat it was an extention of a business meeting or outing, just because spouses are invited doesn't mean they should be mingling with the workers when in enclosed spaces. OP didn't mention where the other spouses sat, wonder if it’s because they were okay just with going not living up every expense such as the flight.
Very true @kerianne, I don't think she even enjoyed the flight.
And the husband didn't even have to bring his wife. It's a job conference, not a vacation. The fact that he wanted her to join and giving out very reasonable arguments on why he wouldn't shill out on a first class seat for her, aka that they can use that money for a fancy date and that the flight was only a few hours long, makes OP sound really self centered and also stupid.
@@keriannekerr1876 A smart company does not put all their employees on the same flight.
God forbid the plane crashes. Then you would loose whole departments or group of employees.
Some employee handbooks even have limits per flight written in them.
First class seats aren't earned. They are paid for just like EVERY other seat on the plane. Buying airplane seats isn't a competition.
Why didn't the husband just sit in coach with her and save his first class seat for another time when he is traveling alone? Or why not invite the wife for a trip when he has enough miles saved up to upgrade both of them to first class?
The fact that OP deleted her account shows that she could deal with the small minded negativity of people who think the airline seats indicate someone's intrinsic value and are "rewards" for doing the baseline requirement for a job. ie traveling to work.
With the little brother one, I’ve dealt with a super similar situation. I’m the oldest of 5, and my mom unexpectedly got pregnant during my freshman year of college. The immense guilt I felt without my mother saying anything ate at me, and her comments made it even worse. Obviously OP doesn’t want to miss out on her little brothers life, but she should not be expected to put her life and future on hold bc of decisions her mother made.
I’m cackling at the response to “is this about sex?”.
Like they brought it up. Don’t ask if you don’t want answers.
They are not her friends or siblings, they are her Parents in Law... Should have answered with respect...
@@zafert85 would have been respectful not to ask her about the sex but ok lol
That and you earn respect. There’s common courtesy but if you ask an intimate question and are surprised by the response, that’s a you problem.
Parents in law are just ignorant and needed to be reminded the world doesn’t revolve around them :)
@@toshi9742 earn respect? so an elderly in the bus who can barely stand has to ''earn'' your respect before you give your seat to them? GTFO, it might have been a stupid question but that doesnt make it okay to answer in a disrespectful way.
@@zafert85 reread what I said.
You were so eager to jump on that that you obviously didn’t read the common courtesy part lmao
Wasn’t a disrespectful answer and if you really believe that then that makes it a disrespectful question ;P
@@toshi9742 you are a tool mate. Good luck!
At 15 I had a full-time job. The fact that Jamie is nonchalant about the bill says to me that she can work to pay the vet bill & learn some responsibility.
I think a good compromise maybe she can just work summers
@@jennifert8542 why? How about weekends till shes paid it off? Shes not 8, shes 15. More than old enough to look after a dog
@@aaroncousins4750 but 2k is kinda a lot, isnt it? im not american so idk how long it would take
@@jennifert8542 Why? Because she might miss her SPORTS? She deserves to have to work it off.
Exactly. There are 15yr olds with jobs and babies. If they can do that, one 15yr old can care for a dog.
On the last story, the company flew them out first class but back in coach. This tells me that the conference that they were attending was important enough to the company that they wanted their staff to be at their best, hence the first class seats. By stealing her husbands seat, the wife was stealing from the company.
I think her stealing the seat was wrong but I also think the husband should have gone out of his way to sit with his wife
@@savannahhess9337 I don't think you should go out of the way to give an entitled person something you are rewarded for.
@@savannahhess9337 He tried to go out of her way by inviting her on the first place but her entitled wife wanted a "free 1st plane ticket becase his husband earned it with hard work" and even on the story OP said that a 1st class ticket for a few hours flight would be really expensive.
@@penextrexe4380 why is nobody seeing that they both could’ve just flown in the lower class seats. Like yeah I would want my first class seat but if it obviously upset someone I loved then I would just downgrade and sit with them. That way nobody gets better than the other.
@@keeprxnning1826 The wife doesn't want the lower class seats she wants the 1st class one, and the husband can't give it up unless he wants to look unprofessional at work.
When you put it like forcing her to work to pay off the debt, it sounds way worse than I initially thought. I think the middle ground here is not to have her quit her extra-curricular, as swim-team is kind of a commitment already. Summer job seems like the best approach, and have her contribute half of the money to paying the bill. They could make this about learning a life skill for her.
I love this. This is how I wanna be when I have kids and they screw up
She should have to pay all of it. She’s 15 and can’t follow simple instructions. She even forgot about the dog which was supposedly annoying her.
As mentioned by another commenter, Janie was nonchalant about the dog after he came back from the vet, like "He's fine, so whatever", and she was only upset her sisters stopped talking to and hanging out with her. With an attitude like that, she would seem to require a stronger punishment than just any old summer job to pay half. She should have to work in an animal shelter and earn her money by being taught how to properly care for animals (feeding, cleaning up after, learning how to deal with animals that have special needs, etc.). If she still maintains her aloof attitude towards what she did, then she should be placed in therapy so she can figure out why she has so little empathy.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO that's coddling her! NO NO NO NO NO! Sometimes shit comes our way that we weren't prepared for. Wah! Suck it up, little girl, and go work off the vet bill. Tough fucking cookies if you feel inconvenienced. The DOG NEARLY DIED. There *SHOULD* be harsh punishment.
@@johnp.2267 Most animal shelters are volunteer and you generally have to be 18. A 15 year old would definitely never get a paying job at an animal shelter.
Story 3: They asked their son to come and he talked to his wife and they said no and then his mom texted his wife separately to be like “is it really that important?” And even after op said yes it is she still went on to basically ask why 🙄 so after being told no 3? times she still clearly wasn’t accepting that answer so she was really asking for it at that point. If she accepted the no the first time she wouldn’t know the information she didn’t need to know 🙂
@btshoeforlife
1) LOVE THE NAME
2) My thoughts exactly. The MIL was told three times, 3 TIMES! Why did she continue badgering the new wife if she already had an answer? Fuck around and find out🤷🏾♀️🤣😂🤣🤷🏾♀️
@@berylwheaten9385 thank you! exactly and its not like she doesnt know what goes on during a honeymoon so she had no reason to be asking the same question over and over like come on now she aint innocent lmao
I get it, but couldn't she just said "Yes" for the sex question? I know the MIL was pushing too hard, but she could've dealt with it wisely. I still don't think that her response makes her an AH, but there were better ways to respond
@@filipe.sm31 there always better ways to respond, she responded the way she did and there was nothing insulting in that response, especially after the in laws were pestering them for that long and refusing to take a no for the answer. but somehow i feel like the husband didn't say no to his mother, he just told his wife he did, to his mother he said that SHE did not want a company. So i'd give the husband a score for not dealing with his crazy parents and dumping it all on his wife who doesn't even know them that well.
@mushypork2132 that's a valid theory. But some people can take such an explicit description as sassy, unwise or mean. I'm saying that she could've the same effect she expected without having to deal with the repercussions
For story 2, what _exactly_ did Lisa expect to happen when she started acting like that? She has to be either extremely sheltered or extremely stupid to think that kind of behavior at work in 2022 wouldn't get her reprimanded. I'm almost kind of wondering if she was acting out to get herself transferred on purpose just to get away from OP, because her behavior was so over-the-top she was basically asking to get in trouble with HR.
She was probably deluded that all Americans feel this way about Muslims. Surprise!
Story 1: I helped take care of the family pets way before 15, she does not deserve to get a pass in my eyes
I grew up on a farm. I was responsible for feeding and watering our 150+ hogs and 50+ chickens, by the age of 8. By 15 I was building new barns and mending fences, on top of the animal duties. She's more than old enough for a reality check.
I also took care of the family pets at 15.
@@Unbidden00 if she can't take care of a dog at 15, let us pray she never has kids. 😬
Agreed... 15 is age where one should be responsible enough to take care of a chihuahua! She's a teen not a toddler so I don't give her pass either
Story 2: no, impact that B’s livelihood. The fact she didn’t get fired for calling OP a terrorist is beyond me
I once had a substitute teacher who did a very similar thing. He would often tell racist jokes. One being where he drawed a circle with triangles with it and told us “this is the last thing a [N-word] sees” I have no idea where he is now but I hope to God he was fired
Exactly. Lisa was very lucky to still have a job. At my last employer, that would have gotten you escorted off the premises immediately.
Story 1: I feel like making her pay is a suitable punishment but making her volunteer in an animal shelter would be more effective
I’d make her do both and more. If this was the 50s she would’ve gotten the paddle
I swear people don’t get it a job would be way too harsh as it would take a long time to get 2000 and I I think maybe like a whole school year
@@raidn6901 So? Well deserved, she almost killed a dog
@@raidn6901 I think it might be a bit fair actually, at least to pay half. She endangered a pet and is very causal about it so it’s a fitting punishment. Even if it is a pet, it should drive home that actions have consequences.
@@raidn6901 at $7.25, with 16 hour weeks, it would take her 3 months to get around 1k so it would take 5-6 months to get 2k. She needs to learn that if you make a mistake and you have responsibilities to not allow that mistake to happen, they you need to pay for it.
Last story: op is massively entitled her husband worked for a first class ticket on that plane going to Florida on a work trip she honestly has no business taking her husbands 1st class seat because she didn’t work at all for it her husband even bought her a ticket!
Last story: OP said that even though they can afford another first class ticket, it would have hurt them financially, but she doesn't seem to care about that as long as she's treated better than the people in coach. It seems like OP might be a gold digger and only wants the finer things in life, even if she has to take it from people.
Full brain development doesn’t happen until the age of 25, so this “their brains are still developing” excuse is really tired when people don’t want to make teenagers take responsibility for themselves. I’ve been responsible for my cat since I was 9 and have never once locked him out in the blistering heat. 15 Is well and above old enough to know not to do that. Also, quitting swim team isn’t “ruining” her life, it’s a harsh consequence to a harsh action
Totally agree. I always see that 'their brain is still developing' bit as MORE of a reason to correct bad actions, not as an excuse to avoid it. They are still developing? Good. Then they will have an easier time learning proper behavior when disciplined correctly. Do people seriously expect that by the time a person reaches 25 they magically learn all good behavior? NO. That is learned WHILE the brain is developing.
Ok, but for all we know her having to leave the swim team could ACTUALLY ruin her plans for the future. That's something that could actually get you a chance at a scholarship if you're good enough, but from OP's post it's impossible to tell if she just likes it or if she's actually hoping to get a scholarship from it
@@DoctorOaks Yeah that's how I see it too. I feel like she's trying for an athletic scholarship. She should be punished but in a way that won't potentially jeopardize her future.
@@RedRum013 taking away athletics from a child is one of the cruelest things you can legally do to them. If she's going to work off the debt or volunteer to learn some respect or responsibility, it should not come at the expensive of her swimming and school work.
I hate the explanation bc the people that use it hardly even understand what it means. It’s just an excuse to be garbage parents/teachers etc and avoid teaching children well. A sociopath raised by idiots won’t be a mature adult without guidance.
It does not reflect that they cannot learn, understand and show adult-like maturity.
Second story:Shes not only disturbing work but being completely negative! Your mom don't know what the heck she saying! If you let people get comfortable putting you down they are going to do it on repeat!
Yes what the mom said isn't right but you have to think back on what her youth might have been like. Older victims of racism tend to have a "Keep your head down, don't rock the boat" mentality because that's what they had to do to survive.
Take a black man in his 80's for instance, a man that lived during the second wave of the KKK. Where even if you were a child, if you looked at a white guy side ways, him and his friends would hospitalize you and cops would pretend to not see. Where if your father spoke out against a suspected Klan member, you were woken up in the middle of the night to a burning cross on your lawn and several bricks through your windows. Where if you marched with MLK Jr. as a young adult, you were met with fire hoses, attack dogs and worse.
Yeah it's the people who stood up that helped make things better but can you really blame those who didn't want to risk their or their families lives? We don't know what kind of life that mother had to endure.
she is also potentially putting OPs life in danger by insinuating she has a bomb in her bag
A lot of immigrant parents have this mentality
If it had been a child not a dog she'd be tried as a adult in court, 15 is no excuse.
But it wasn't a child. And leaving a 15 year old to care for a child every morning alone is parentification and therefore child abuse. I love animals as much as the next person, but you can't equate them to humans. They aren't the same in the eyes of the law.
no the parent who left the 15 year old would be charged but most kids could figure out how to get back inside
True but the parents would also have some liability. I think it's completely reasonable for them to expect a 15 year old to bear some of the cost for the vet bill. I also think the parents were foolish not to put out a simple popup for shade and a water bowl just in case the dog was ever forgotte on the deck. Might have saved the dog from the worse of the heat.
@@SaireiTheDragon funny how you all play this card but people literally pay kids this age to babysit. Does that help your brain understand the context? Sau she was babysitting and left the kid unattended outside for hours. Can you now overlook your scapegoat of an argument to address the point being made? I swear you internet people are so obtuse sometimes.
@@andrewbader6927 the point is its a serious matter and the 15 year Olds behavior afterwards is the real problem. If they don't feel regret for what they did they'll simply do it again and assume the same result, that's a dangerous mindset. At 15 they need to be taught responsibility and it honestly sounds like grounding her wouldn't get the point across.
About the dog story: I agree that it depends how that money is going to impact the family, but 15 its an age that its crucial to star to understand responsibility and the impact of our actions, so if it wont be too heavy for the father to pay the bill, maybe he could ask the daughter to pay a part of it, like $500, so she can learn with it but still go back to her other activities after school faster and doesn’t miss a lot.
As someone who was babysitting my brother and making him dinners at 13, the 15 yr old in the first story should learn some responsibility for sure. Getting a job and paying off the vet bill is very reasonable in my opinion. There's even jobs where they can work like two days in the week so they could still do extra curricular activities. And better yet, once they have paid off the vet bill, they can keep earning cash for themselves now that they have a job
I like your profile picture lol
when the second OP said that she was used to people going cold around her afte finding out she's Muslim just broke my heart.
Third story is amazing. Snoop in other peoples sex life you can't expect not to hear details about said sex life. I mean what did they expect them to do on their honeymoon? Bake cookies, go hiking and have nice evening with a glass of wine while playing chess? Of course there's gonna be some banging around. I mean if they're so keen to be sleeping at the adjacent wall I'd say the inlaws are the weird ones.
And it's a goddamn honeymoon! Y'know, that phase of the wedding infamous for being about the crazy sex to celebrate the marriage? I seriously disagree with RSlash on this one, the parents were pushing boundries and the wife decided to be honest with them in a way that made it clear that they were not to keep pushing, all while keeping a lighthearted tone. It was a perfect response in my opinion and OP isn't remotely the a-hole for it.
I came to this thinking 'wife ITA' - then when I realised his parents wanted to take over *almost half their honeymoon,* I realised actually they were.
If you don't like the answer - don't ask the question.
It's funny that rslash thinks this was too vulgar because he covered another story awhile back about a wife whose husband had just come home from a long business trip, and they couldn't get any privacy because his mom wouldn't leave the house, so the wife finally said "I want to have sex with your son, get out." And that was perfectly fine to rslash at least? But sex is almost assumed on a honeymoon. What did future MIL expect? Idk, the judgment was weird on this one
@@wessexdruid7598 That reminds me of the story of a couple who went on a honeymoon that the parents of one of them paid for, only to find the parents there at the resort, bothering them at all hours of the day. They finally decided to just ditch the parents in the middle of the night and go on their own honeymoon.
Last story: I would like to point out the fact that OP's husband had a first class ticket ONLY GOING and coach on the way back. She really should have let him have that small moment of luxury 😒
or they could have been in coach on both flights together. His reward wasn't a first class seat. He was just chosen to go to a conference, which also wasn't a reward either IMHO. It may look good with the company culture, but it's pretty meaningless on a resume.
I'm also betting that the company didn't pay for that first class seat, but he used flyer rewards to get a free upgrade, but didn't have enough to do that for his wife.
@@hermeticbear Shut the hell up and stop looking for these comments. You know you're trying to get validated to feel you're right. His reward wass it or why else would a company pay extra. the woman is completely selfish as she didn't want to sit with her husband but steal his hard-earned seat. Your logic doesn't make any sense "it wasn't a reward." shut the hell up and stop trying to sound like master oogway. OP literally said herself that the company paid for it. Why would she be lying. And the last one just proves my point. It wouldn't hurt to just sit with a little legroom for a few hours. Who cares about a resume when he has a job. Also doesn't make sense right there. A reward for hard working doesn't go on a resume.
@@hermeticbear nope
@@hermeticbear you are wrong still. Are you stupid or just hate a man having a chance of enjoying him self
@@hermeticbear they said the company stated they are paying for the workers ticket but not for any +1
First story, I don't understand the reasoning of some people: so a 15year old is not reasonable enought to understand the magnitude of what she has done but as soon as she is 16years old she is reasonable enough to drive a car?
Given how serious of a mistake it was with the dog, I think having the daughter at least pay for HALF of the bills is reasonable. The dog almost died, the girl is 15 and has to learn her actions have consequences. Otherwise she's just gonna expect her parents to bail her out for everything.
I mean think about it. If she ever became a mom, and she did the same to her kid (like left them in a hot car), shouldn't she be held accountable? Best for her to learn about responsibility before it becomes something worse.
That said, with labor laws, for her to work off $2000 might be a bit much. But she should help out as medical bills can really set families back these days.
Edit: I'm like 50/50 on whether she should pay for half or all.
The first story pisses me off so much, I have a small dog and whenever I let him out I’m standing by the door waiting for him to let him in and if he doesn’t come in a certain amount of time I go out into the yard to look for him.
About the honeymoon story, I would have asked her: "Do you want grandchildren?"
the fact that she ignored the dog crying is the worst bit, she should get to pay the 2000 for the vet bill, otherwise she'll never understand the big ass responsibility that caring for other lives is
Well she wasn't ignoring the dog crying. She actually did what the dog wanted let him onto the deck. But it is her fault for forgetting to let him back in. She should have to pay the bill though cause she obviously doesn't understand responsibility
@@zarahhammer4202 Yes. ALL of it, not half of it.
I think she needs to do more. She should work for double that price and be grounded.
My parents had me start taking care of our many pets when I was only 6. It started off small but by the time I was 10 I was solely in charge of any puppies or kittens our pets had. I fed them and trained them. And when we gave them away people remarked what fantastic pets they were and even came back for another one when they knew we had more (lots of farms where I grew up, always in need of pets that are friendly but can be useful too). It's terrifying to think that a girl who is this negligent and apathetic about a beloved family pet is about to start driving a potentially deadly vehicle. What's to stop her from hitting another person and then being like "Oh I only broke their arm, see they're fine." Not sure if it's the parents fault for raising her to be this way, entirely despite how they raised her, or a mixture. Either way she needs therapy now.
"You need to be a gentleman" suddenly means "You must always let me have my way." I had no idea that's what it meant.
Story 3: NTA. It's very simple: If you don't want to know, don't ask. OP's mother-in-law asked, got the answer and was salty because she didn't like the answer.
I disagree - imo, OP's response was super inappropriate and immature. MIL was being nosey, sure, but OP didn't describe her as the type who constantly crosses boundaries and deserves to be "taught a lesson". All she really did was make her in-laws and new husband uncomfortable and make herself seem rude. There are plenty of less weird ways to convey that message: she could've just said, "isn't that what honeymoons are for?" or, "yes ma'am! I already have my "outfits" picked out." or "yup... Not something you want to see I assume!" or, if she wants to be very clear "that's the plan...I don't think we'll have time for much else."
I don't get why OP decided to make it explicit lol. It's just such an unnecessarily awkward way to set a boundary and it'll probably impact her relationship with the in-laws for a while
I agree with you. First they harass OP’s fiancé about joining them. Then they turned around and went behind his back and attempted to manipulate OP into agreeing with them. Instead of politely dropping it when OP said they wanted privacy, the MIL turned the conversation by being “vulgar”, asking OP if this was about sex. Eff the MIL for getting insulted by OP telling MIL exactly what she wanted to know.
Just because everyone got offended, doesn’t mean OP was being offensive. They’re just mad they didn’t get their way, so they’re making it about OP’s response. Not about their inappropriate request.
OP’s fiancé better get his dumb ass on board supporting her, or their marriage is NOT going to last.
@@k3upikachu Huh, different culture I guess? Such a joke wouldn't ever be considered "too vulgar" given the context of the conversation where I live. In fact, it'd probably be the perfect response here. You'd however also need to be comfortable with the consequence of that joke.
@@MLWJ1993 I'm in the US and I'm actually pretty open about sex and have no problem talking about it, but I wouldn't tell my partner's Mom that I'm going to fuck him in every room of our honeymoon spot...I think that's super weird
Flying story: let's turn that around on op, "what kind of wife lives it up in First Class while her husband is in Coach?"
story #4 sounds like the mom was hoping for a free babysitter 😬
edit: haha wrote the comment before rSlash said it 😁
Honestly, with the whole Janie situation, I think this is a perfect punishment. I grew up on a farm and with tons of pets before, if something happened and it was my fault I would 100% be expected to do what I could to fix the situation, and with something like heatstroke that's very much a good punishment. Janie got EXTREMELY lucky that the dog didn't die and her being so nonchalant after this and complaining about why her siblings don't hang out with her makes it make even more sense. also, 15 is a fine age. She fully knowes that she shouldn't have let the dog out at all and should have simply put up with the dog's complaints but knowing letting the dog out and forgetting about it 100% makes the punishment fair. Also, 2,000 is a lot of money, even if you are well off.
In the third story she could have asked "Did your parents invite themselves into intruding on your honeymoon? How would you feel if you were young, in love, just married and your parents came to disturb your 'days of romance and passion?'"
Yeah, OP could have made that point. She thought her MIL was poking fun. And on that note, even if her comment was provocative (I appreciated the joke myself 😁), aren’t the in-laws being a bit prudish? It’s understandable they would want some sex on their honeymoon 🤷♀️
Story 1: $2,000 is a lot of money for a teenager, but I don't think it's a bad punishment. So how about meeting in the middle, she has to get a summer job and half of that money have to go to paying half of the bill.
Exactly it'll teach her a long term lesson but at the same time not be so over the top because I doubt a 15 year old can make $2000 in a year easily.
@@shadowmewfred09 you would be surprised at how fast you can get money nowadays. I work as a lifeguard, I started with 13.83 an hour. Give it a few months and she can make it, also being a lifeguard will teach lessons and show how to be responsible especially since if you don’t act when your supposed to you can be sued.
@@shadowmewfred09 working weekends in the uk every week i made like £500+ a month. 4 months of weekends gone as punishment for almost killing ur dog seems reasonable
That seems VERY reasonable
Making her get a job to pay for the vet bill doesn’t feel wrong, but making her quit the swim team and put ALL the money she makes towards it DOES
Your compromise solves both problems. It’s perfect
Came here to say this.
Unless they're in financial dire straights. In which case she can get a weekend job. Even if the weekend job is spending one day doing housework for a family friend for money or something like that
…”I think we have a spectrum of responses here” was then interrupted by a SPECTRUM mobile ad! 😂
Story 1 nta the dog almost died because of her.
I have an 8 year old with autism. Even he knows not to leave a dog outside when it’s hot. A fully functional 15 year old has no excuse.
Mistakes happen. But accountability isn’t waived just because you didn’t intend for things to happen like they did. A 15 year old that doesn’t understand accountability for her actions is a problem; but that problem comes from parents not teaching that lesson for the past 15 years…
Brazilian here. We have a dictate that sais "who say everything want to say, listen everything that doesnt wants to listen". I believe this applies to the mother in law. She was vulgar asking she had a vulgar answer.
Last story; screw that entitlement. How dare she take what her husband earned
I agree. Id never make my hubby give up first class.
I didn't make him not go to the big NFL football game cuz I couldn't go. His work let the guys and their spouses go full ride down free food and beer and big box for the game. I was still recovering from cancer treatments and knew I couldn't deal with the bus or the food.
I even told him to bring a friend cuz geez why should he suffer. Plus he'd been having to help me too for months. He deserved that day trip
what entitlement? that a wife wants to sit with her husband? Why can't they both sit in coach together? He didn't "earn" first class. He was chosen to attend a conference. I'm absolutely certain his employer didn't pay for his first class seat, but instead flyer miles were used to upgrade either his, or the companies. I have never heard of a company that pays for first class seats for rank and file employees to attend a conference. Unless he's the CEO CFO etc, there is no way that company paid for a first class seat.
@@hermeticbear you obviously didn’t listen to the story because she didn’t want to sit with him. She wanted to sit first class and nothing more. And you don’t know anything about companies if you don’t think they can pay for first class seats lol
@@locusxe1411 lol fourth time i seen this Baka say such a stupid comment
don't you like it when entitle people like Hermeticbear shows that entitle people are a hivemind lol
@@hermeticbear I think the entitlement came in when she took the first class instead. But I also missed some of that story.
I think a lot of people miss a big opportunity in the first story. The costs of your mistakes go up drastically once you are an adult. Part of your responsibility as a parent is to make sure your kids experience the consequences of life in reasonable ways for their age BEFORE they become adults, when it will cost them much more.
This is a great opportunity for that, to provide a reasonable consequence that costs her something personally for a bad decision you made.
LOL I love that you turned 'sex monster' into 'succubus.' Genius.
When I was 15, I was taking care of 6 cats, two dogs, and a bird, and I took that responsibility VERY seriously. Not to mention, I was also having to take care of my mom quite a bit whenever she had a bad relapse of MS. My room might of been messy af, but when it came to living things, I was incredibly attentive and responsible.
The problem with Janie isn't just a matter of age or responsibility though, especially since it was a mistake that someone of any age could potentially make if they aren't paying attention or are in a hurry. My biggest concern is her lack of empathy for what their dog went through, as well as the emotions of her family in response to it. Also, her lack of remorse for being the one who was responsible for the life-threatening situation the dog went through is disturbing. Yes, the dog recovered, but if I had been in her shoes and made that mistake, especially at the age of 15, I'd be beside myself with regret and would feel HORRIBLE that I had caused my dog so much pain, long after the dog made a full recovery. How can she not feel any guilt over that? If she at least showed some remorse over this terrible mistake, then a lighter punishment, like charity work at a shelter would definitely be enough. But, since she seems to think it's no big deal because the dog is fine now, she really doesn't seem to have learned from her mistake, and it could happen again if she isn't held accountable for her actions. So I do feel that she should be shown how serious this mistake was by working to pay off the vet bill.
Also, her lack of emotion doesn't seem normal, and, if she's this apathetic, especially if this isn't the first time she's shown indifference to highly emotional situations, it might be a good idea for OP to set up an appointment for her to be evaluated by a counselor or therapist, just in case. That's just my opinion, but many mental illnesses can cause that lack of empathy. Obviously she could very well just be a selfish teenager who somehow doesn't really care, but it's better to be positive that there's no underlying mental health condition.
I completely agree that she should be evaluated if this isn't the first time she showed indifference to highly emotional situations. Although there are a lot of mental illnesses she can't be diagnosed with until she's 18.
she really doesn't seem to have learned from her mistake...EXACTLY why I say she must be forced to pay the vet bill. ALL of it.
15 year olds ARE NOT THAT DUMB, she should have known that leaving a dog outside in the heat is a horrible idea
*First OP:* I'm not a parent. While Janie _does_ need to be punished for leaving Pebble out in the deck, I don't know if making her get a job to help pay for the bill is the best punishment. I would suggest having her volunteer in an animal shelter, but I wouldn't trust her around pets. Either way, OP is NTA.
*Second OP:* Lisa was Islamophobic toward OP and faced the consequences. I wonder how OP's mom would've handled the situation? OP is NTA.
*Third OP:* At least OP's in-laws stopped asking to join them on the honeymoon. 😛 LOL at OP's FIL for calling her a "sex monster." OP is NTA.
*Fourth OP:* Why do I feel like OP's mom wants OP to stick around so OP can babysit for her brother for free? OP is NTA. Good for her for earning her high school diploma _and_ her Associate's degree! Here's to a bright future.
*Fifth OP:* I'm siding with OP's husband. He _earned_ the first-class seat the employers paid for him. It sucks that he could only afford coach, but he didn't even have to invite OP on the trip. OP is TA.
Nice zinger at the end!
First story: When I was 15, i had a lot of responsibilities forced on me, and when I didn't take care of them, I was harshly punished. However, i knew that my actions had consequences. When your responsibility is for another living thing, that is even more true. So forgetting a dog outside during a heat wave is almost thr same as leaving it in a hot car without the windows down. It's harsh, but her actions almost caused a death and she needs to feel the weight of that responsibility and her failure. Working off 2k is nothing for a mistake like that. She can rejoin swim, she can't get a dog back from the dead. The daughter gets 5/5
Not to mention the anxiety she caused her sister.
She could lose out on varsity and scholarships also it would take a whole school year to get 2000
@@raidn6901 jobs look good on a cv too
She could probably get a weekend or online job, or a part time one on days she doesn't have swimming. It probably wouldn't take that long to pay off either
@@raidn6901 That's called having consequences for you actions, plus she probably wouldn't have to quit depending on her job hours and if she did she could rejoin after
Story 1: I think she needs to help pay the vet bill. Either monetarily or by working off a set number (say 200) by doing extra chores around the house.
BUT- I would also have her write a report about the effects of heat exhaustion on small dogs, that way she can really know how she affected the dog.
Pay off part is reasonable, but not 2 000, that's a lof of money. Especially for a child. All that said, I find it weird that the parents haven't taken any steps to make the deck safer for the dog. Add something to create shade, install a doggy door, always having a full water bowl on the deck. There are also these cooling blankets for dogs that would be helpful. The girl is lacking in remorse, which is bad. That needs to be addressed. But there are ways the parents could make their deck and backyard more dog friendly.
Not 'help' pay it off. She needs to pay ALL of the vet bill since it was entirely her fault.
first story: as a 15 y/o, i would 100% get a job to help pay for the vet bill. i love my aunt’s dog so much and i would do anything for him
As a 15 year old girl. Yes we can take care of other living things
First OP: I agree with both sides with making her get a job to pay the vet bill. Then on the other hand OP can have her do volunteer work at a animal hospital, animal shelter or vet office so she can learn how serious the situation was of the dog having a heat stroke.
She's not going to learn from that though and they still have a bill they need to pay. She knew the dog was outside (somewhere she knew was off limits because of the heat) but "got annoyed and just left" she left him out there on purpose.
Depending on what job she gets she most likely won't have to quit swimming and she'll have work experience to put on her CV and Uni application (maybe college too if you need one, not sure how American college works) and she'll learn to be more responsible. Plus, it wouldn't take too long to pay the bill of them she can have her own money. It's a won win for all parties.
Honestly I can't stop listening to your videos, they're perfect to listen to when drawing.
They’re amazing to listen too when you’re first waking up too. Which is what I normally do.
Drawing? Nice
Sameee
Story 2: OP’s mom comment makes no sense, I understand the “Don’t rock the boat” but the moment this coworker starts destroying the relax working environment. And that coworker’s final comment on the bag, is horrible! So respect to the coworkers for standing up for OP and also making trips to HR to complain.
Story 3: OP’s answer to her in laws was a little extreme, but yeah it’s weird how they suddenly want to visit on their Honeymoon.
No that coworker was in the right to make that comment OP could very well be a terrorist possibly.
@@Mario87456 and you could be a terrorist too. Anybody could be. Make sure you call security next time your coworker leaves their bag at their desk.
@@cameronlevers231 I am not a terrorist if the person is anonymous online you can’t assume how they are in real life.
@@Mario87456 your right Mario, if that's even your real name (you're not being anonymous online though are you?) you can't assume. All of these stories are from 1 persons point of view and you can only go by the facts given. I must have missed the part where OP could be a terrorist
@@cameronlevers231 OP’s situation is different though since we seem to know a lot about what happened
Story 1: getting a job as soon as possible when you're a teenager is actually highly beneficial. I know people who didn't start looking for work until they were 18-19, and couldn't find anything because they had no experience whatsoever. So even if they don't make her get a job as a punishment, they should at least make her get summer jobs to help her resume and give her some degree of responsibility.
bro im actually tearing up from that first story. that poor dog i feel so bad for him and allie
Why? It's a dog, nearly half the world view them as a food source.
@@leeofdoom4452 that’s fucked. I don’t care what you think. It’s a loving breathing creature who deserves respect.
WOW
@@leeofdoom4452 are you been serious ?? 😳
OK for starters no half of the world don't look at dogs as food, infact if I remember correctly there are only 10 or 11 countries world wide of which eating dog meat is legal and the use of dogs as a food source is only used in very few countries themost common in China, South Korea, Philippines, Thailand, Laos, Vietnam,
Cambodia, and the Nagaland region in India, and it is not considered widespread in any of these locations. Moreover, the practice is becoming less popular in many countries, as the younger generations are more likely to regard dogs and cats as companions rather than cuisine. Dogs to most peoples are not like cows, goats, pigs, chickens, etc although you can have these animals as pets and I know people who have had all of the above as their pets, but these animals are usually bred and raised for food, dog are not usually classed as food to most people they are a companion and working animals which are used for sheep and cattle hearding, support and assistant animals, search and rescue, drug and cadaver search animals, and most of all dogs are mainly classed as much loved and treasured members of the family some people class their dogs as their children and they love them very much I myself have two border collies and have had them since the day they were horn as we owned their mum l, so we have had them for 13 years in December and I personally am horrorfied that people still do eat dogs and cats as part of their diet, I personally couldn't do it, I also won't eat rabbit but that's only because I don't like the taste, but many people won't eat rabbit because they see rabbit as a companion animal rather than food even though here in the uk you don't pay vat on rabbit food because it is classed as a food source, and many people still do eat rabbit, I used to show rabbits many years ago and most of the old school breeders still did it where every rabbit started off as a show rabbit then went onto breeding when it was past its prime then when they were no longer used for breeding they were culled l, the meat was eaten and the for was tanned and used to make things,
@@annied1827 dog tastes pretty decent, I've eaten it in a few countries...
Why does a dogs live have inherent more value than a pigs life?
When it comes to honeymoons, a golden rule should be the parents of the newlyweds just… let them be. It’s a vacation, yes, but it’s the newlyweds’ PRIVATE vacation!
With the first story, I think Janie should pay about $500, but not the entire bill.
- I think that would allow her to be able to keep some of original responsibilities,
-give her some leniency of being younger
- but still puts blame on her
Nope. She should definitely pay the entire bill. That entire bill is the result of something that was entirely her fault. Only making her pay a small portion of it will only instill in her the belief that mom and dad will always bail her out when she messes up.
She's the reason she had that bill so yeah she should pay it off also 15 is old enough to open a door...
Seriously, what do people expect from the first girl, a sobbing confession of guilt and a proactive offer to pay for the bill? Just because a fifteen year old wants to move on from their mistakes doesn’t mean they don’t understand what they did wrong.
Not to mention the responsibility was likely new, shoved on her unilaterally, and she has who knows how many years practice letting the dog out with everything being fine not during a heat wave, it’s a bad mistake but people are acting like she did it on purpose.
Everyone is acting like she’s an emotionless monster, just because she doesn’t show it on her face doesn’t mean it isn’t tearing her up inside.
The double standards for teenagers are hilarious to me. I've seen stories both here and in other peoples' videos who cover AITA, where a 15/16 year old will pull whatever cruel "pranks," they'll damage property, they'll steal, and the verdict there is ALWAYS, "They're 15/16. They're *more than old enough* to know this is wrong, they *absolutely* need to face the consequences of their actions."
Yet here, it's, "Well, they don't have a fully developed brain yet, so . . ."
Frankly, not many places are going to hire a 15 year old, though. Add to that, if she has an extracurricular she enjoys (and that could give her a scholarship,) she shouldn't be made to quit. Instead, I'd make up a chore list with different amounts attached to the chores. She does those chores, she works off the money for the vet bill. The longer she takes doing it, the more interest gets added.
Plenty of places hire 15 year olds and she could get a weekend job or work on days she doesn't have swimming (also she nearly killed her dog, who cares about swimming?) Chores don't pay bills
@@Can_think_of_a_name I mentioned the swimming simply because if it's something she could get a scholarship for when college time rolls around, that's a burden that won't be added to the parents in a few years. If they make her quit, even for a year, it'll add that financial burden because being a year behind others will make it very unlikely to catch back up and succeed against others who didn't quit.
I suppose the money issue really does depend on if the family is hard up for money. If they are, then okay, yeah, make her pay it back with an actual job. If they aren't, then chores that they expect to be done to perfection would actually be a worse punishment.
And perhaps it depends on the area they're in. I'm in the US, and around me, no, not a lot of places will hire a 15 year old, and the ones that do will give four hour shifts a day because of labor laws. Then there's the fact that if she did get a job, she could end up having good/great co-workers and really enjoying the environment or making friends there. That's not the point of a punishment.
Story 2: I’m Muslim as well. I sometimes wear hijab and what ops coworker did is completely unacceptable. Seriously, I understand why some people don’t like Islam (lack of correct information) but that doesn’t mean you should stereotype people because of it. It’s like when people look at my sister and think she’s a Bible thumper because she’s Christian
Honestly it's nice to see most commenters here stand up for someone discriminated against for their religion, but also baffling because most commenters here are usually falling all over themselves to mock and deride and slam anyone who mentions they're a Christian.
Its so horrible when non religious people think stereotypes of you because you are religious or people of a different religion hurt and treat you differently because you have a different religion. Its just rude, horrible and disrespectful. I know its off topic a little but its so annoying when some people call Islam a cult or oppression because of some islamic countries which force Islam and think thats what Islam is about, even though you aren’t supposed to force Islam.
On the first story, instead of working I say have her do volunteer work at an animal shelter . That way she can BUILD more responsibility and animal care. I do agree age 15 is kinda hard to find jobs since most job requires age 16 with school permission. That's how that is in my state.
When I did something bad that cost the family over $1k they had me doing chores to earn the money back. So doing volunteer is kinda like that.
Actually, in most of the country now, you can work at 15 and even as early as 14 with a work permit.
But they still have a bill and she knew what she did was wrong and left the dog out there on purpose. It's easy to find a job at 15 and volunteering doesn't pay the bills. Your parents could probably afford the bill and were obviously very lenient with you
For the first story-- why does the daughter have to quit the swim team to work? Many places need weekend help, or early morning help if the daughter has first period off some days. I feel like there is a way to let her stay on the swim team while also having her get a job and working at paying off the debts.
At my high school athletic teams trained every weekday and compete on weekends plus had homework on top of that, adding a job isn't very doable
Unless they’re hurting for the money now, I think it’s perfectly reasonable for Janie to work a summer job and pay at least half the bill. Presumably, there’s less team activity during the summer, and it’ll be easier to work a job into the schedule if she’s not attending classes. She still gets a punishment without messing up HS athletics, which are huge. If they want her to pay the full bill, she could do it over a couple of summers. Someone upthread suggested she also write a report on the effects of heat on dogs, and I think that’s an excellent idea. There would be no reason that part of the punishment would have to wait: she’d just have to work it in amongst her schoolwork and team activities. I think that would show her what the dog went through and impress upon her how big her screw-up was.
Bruh I’m 14 and i know that im responsible for my pet snake granted there a bit easier to care for than a dog but still age isn’t an excuse brain development isn’t an excuse the 15 year old should be accountable
Story 4: I'm not going to judge the mother's motivation, but I'm going to tell OP what I realised when I was just a couple of years younger than her (I think I was 16.) You are a child until you have to be the adult in every argument with your parents. Seriously, there's something about children growing up that makes parents act like toddlers.
Just what the hell did the parents think honeymoons are for? They deserved that response!
I am so damn confused by the plane story. “What husband lets his wife sit in coach”. The kind that is financially responsible and using what his company gave him. He didn’t even have to bring her.
To me, the first story is a bit more clear cut in my eyes - that girl left a family dog outside in the smoldering heat because it was annoying her and showed no regret after realizing her actions almost killed it.
Good on OP and their SO by having her take on a job to pay for the bill - but based on her behavior I'd probably have gone further than just that and taking her out of her swim classes.
EDIT: To the three people who wasted their time spamming my notification inbox with vitriolic nonsense, kindly stfu please.
thank you! I don't know why he didn't even mention that lack of care, and I'm with you on the doing more punishment.
I disagree. I think she should work at an animal shelter for neglected animals. And she should not have worse punishment. Punishment doesn’t do crap, she needs to actually LEARN something. You’re just writing this because you’re mad
@@pulacascar179 if she didn't care about her own dog, what makes you think she's going to give a shit about neglected dogs?
Her actions seriously almost killed her dog and she didn't fucking care.
You're giving her more credit than she deserves. The LEAST she can do is pay off $2k and giving up swimming for a season.
@@SteviiLove how do you know she didn’t fucking care? Maybe she was just distancing herself emotionally from guilt making it look like she didn’t care.
@@SteviiLove also, even if she didn’t care, she is still a kid and can learn and can become more empathetic.
As someone who had/has anxiety over my dogs health, admittedly not heat or NEGLECT related, she should be held responsible for the dog. Op if you or your family are reading this I'm glad pebble's ok.
3:55, I believe the daughter needs to suffer the consequences of her actions. 15 is more the old enough to understand that she needs to keep a small dog out of a heat wave and if she has such a horrible memory she could of always sat outside with Pebble so she wouldn’t forget. If someone hits another car and scratches it they can’t just say ‘YOU CAN’T MAKE ME PAY OVER AN ACCIDENT’ that isn’t how consequences work. Ops’ daughter needs to understand that mommy and daddy aren’t always gonna pay for her mistakes and she needs to step up and take responsibility for her negligence.
First story: It seems a pit too harsh to make a 15 y/o quit the swimming team if it’s something she really cares about. Maybe make her get a summer job instead?
Why make her quit the swim team? A minimum wage job in the summer can easily make $2k. In my state, which has one of the lowest minimum wages in the country, that'd only be about 25 hours a week.
rSlash: "Nosey parents in law...1.5 buttholes."
Also rSlash: "She nearly killed the family pet and seems unrepentant about it...0.5 buttholes."
Lol, really? xD
One thing about rSlash? He’s always gonna give the most absurd and hypocritical ratings he can
@@anthonywolfe594 normally I agree with his ratings, but this time, just wow. The 15 year old cause trauma for their sibling, and almost killed dog because it simply annoyed her.
@@Unbidden00 thats not what happened though, yes she let the dogs out which she shouldn't have, but the problem is she forget to let them back in. Its pretty ridiculous to act like it was on purpose.
@@masoncombs7799 and she didn't feel reget or remorse or even comfort her sister.
@@derth9230 that would be a good point if we had good reason to beleive it was true. You got "she felt no remorse and didn't comfort her sister at all from "after he left the vet she was pretty nonchalant.
Story 1: I had a better grasp on heat stroke danger at eight. Janie has full responsibility here.
1st one: 15 is well old enough for responsibility. At 15 I was fully taking care of two rabbits, she deserves to pay off that debt.
No, the first story the 15 year old should be held accountable for her actions. 1. It was a very easy thing to do to make sure the dog is inside, it's not labour intensive and she's not actively doing anything. There's no reason why she let him out in the first place or forgot about him on the deck and left for school. 2. She is capable of understand what she has done and the impact it has had and now that the dog is fine she doesn't care, this behaviour needs correcting. 3. Making her quit swim team for a little bit is a reasonable punishment IMO, she first made her family pet suffer in the heat which could have killed the dog, and also put her sisters through emotional distress, I think the youngest child is being a brat about this and isn't taking responsibility for her actions. The unreasonable thing here is the 15 year old.
The problem with Janie, she knew the deck was off limits. Shes 15, not 5. OP said it themselves, Janie "got annoyed and just left" she knew Pebbles was there, she didn't care. Even after, Janie doesn't care she's more concerned with her siblings being upset with her. Maybe don't leave your dog outside in fatal heat. She needs to pay for HER mistake.
Final story: entitled wife trying to throw some sort of chivalry blackmail out there
Story 2: a bit of advise for everybody, you have to deal with a lot of problems on the job, a terrible co worker should NEVER be one of them
Yeah but you really have to have the confidence that HR will side with you vs the coworker. This was pretty egregiously discrimination but it's not always that clearcut and about an issue that HR will care about.
That airline story made me realize how lucky I am that my kids don't use their parents to "mediate". I haven't heard about a single argument between my kids and their spouses. My son has been in a relationship with his wife for 32 years and as far as I'm concerned, they are perfect.
The last story: the fair solution would have been: he gets business the first flight, she gets it the second time(for her ticket). This way it doesnr get too expensive and both get the experience. Why nobody thought of that?
First story : I am 14 and i mean it when i say it : we are not stupid children. At 15 she knows what she's doing and she should be held accountable.
We need more people like you. A lot of teens still act childish and honestly at times stupid. You don't. In fact you're the most responsible teen I know about. Good on you for actually being smart and responsible.