These were super helpful. I am an 8, and a lot of your feedback, and your husbands, is super practical! I felt like I was in therapy 😅! I look forward to trying out some of these tips! Thanks!
Of course what motivates people is an individual thing. But for me, I’m motivated as an 8 when others are doing their part. It’s overwhelming when I’m feeling as though I have to do my part and every one else’s too. 🤪💪.
Very helpful, great overview, so many of your thoughts resonated with me. Thank you for making this summary! The more we learn about ourselves and others, the better this world!
One thing for them to remember is that (like a lot of other types) we all didn't receive 'their rule book'. What is obvious to them is a whole new discovery for someone of my type. For a long time I had NO idea what "having their back" would look like - and I thought I WAS doing that... but obviously not how they viewed it. Love their confidence level. (Wish I could get regular orders of that 'venti size with added chocolate drizzle' please! ) Thanks for the upload.
As a type 8 I agree with everything you said. I’ve come off as a bully, pushy, conceited etc. Taking the enneagram test it’s helped me to know myself and the reason for the choices I make. It’s easy for me to show loyalty to the death to those whom are genuine.
This is sooooo me as a Type 8. We make very good Project Manager. Like your husband I have had to take a beat and ask questions that I know the answers to, to be fair and respect the other person. I have had to learn to sometime take a backseat sometimes and not be so quick to speak but listen.
I’m a type eight it is very easy for me to make a decision. As I can see the big picture so I can’t relate at all . I have to be able to make a decision quickly !
Thank you so much for this video. I wanted to watch it because my son is an 8w9 and I also work in a small office with an 8. Thanks especially for how to motivate an 8. I think it is tough sometimes especially if they are leaning hard on the 9 wing. It also showed me that although I am a 7w6, sometimes I must lean on the 8 wing. When you said They take charge because they think it won't get done or won't get done right. Yikes...I do have tendency to do that and also they part about getting annoyed with people who complain and whine but don't want to do anything about it.
For type 8....words of encouragement/affirmation is not what motivates us. Challenges (as you mentioned) does. I believe what you are diving into with your husband is his love language. One of the 5 love languages is words of affirmation. I believe that's why he's motivated by it. Personally, as a type 8 I couldn't give a crap about what others think. (something I like and hate about myself)
Hillary, help! I'm a 9w1, and I would appreciate knowing how to be in healthy relationship with the 8s in my life who give ultimatums. Sometimes those demands are not realistic or would be unhealthy boundary busters. What language or approach could I use to help us all work without these extremes?
Hi! I’m an 8. 8s are very black and white they see no grey area. 8s need to mature and learn how to love other people and not be mean or rude. They often are the way they are because they want to put up a front because they’re scared of being hurt. Every 8 growing up at some point lost there childhood and they have put up a barrier to there vulnerabilities. I would say be up front and assertive. 8s love a challenge and will respect you because you tell them the truth! Tell this 8 what you feel and say that you think it’s to much. But that you love them. Don’t be to detailed just straight to the point. Hope this helps!
My husband is an eight so I do understand what you're saying. What's helped us is us both learning about our own type and each others type. It's given us more insight and more understanding of each other. I've been married 20 years and having this language helps us to fight less and talk more. Eights even though it might seem hard and scary to a nine, want people to be direct. Hope this helps!
I'm surprised that you associate the "big picture thinking" with the type 8. I'm a type 9w1 and I also usually think about the big picture first before considering details. And I can get quite mad (internally...) when somebody focuses on a small aspect too quickly. But maybe this is how my (otherwise hidden) 8 wing shows up.
I think the difference is for 8s, seeing the bigger picture is so intrinsic that’s it becomes second nature. It’s what allows us to be confidently decisive bc instinctively we know what the end goal is. We don’t “think” about the bigger picture if that makes sense. That’s also why it’s so important for us to slow down and consider the cause and effect of those actions
I don’t know about the motivation for an 8 being correct. Words of encouragement seem more applied to your Love Language. My love language is Acts of Service so I cannot relate. (Although before this video, i thought Acts of Service was very typical for an 8 to prioritize. When you take something off of the to-do list for an 8, they are extremely greatful. You just saved them time to do something else.) I appreciate concrete praise but not encouragement. I don’t need that. I encourage myself, but when someone tells me the work that I completed caused a significant result that they appreciate. That is what actually matters. We do need to be motivated at times when we burn ourselves out from steamrolling our way through everything. In this way, we are motivated by conflict. When someone feels like they want the opposite result than what we want, it easily energizes us. If someone wants us to fail, we will persevere and succeed solely because we won’t prove them right. We are the right ones. Additionally, we are energized and motivated by clarity. Sometimes we are muddled with large problems: lots of people disagreeing with us distracting us from the goal. Thus, when we can see the clear big picture that we’re striving for. That is the biggest motivator. When we know where we want to go, we just need to figure out the right steps- which we’ve done so many ways before. I would also agree with a comment below that others doing their share of work is motivating. Only because we know that we don’t need to slow our pace down. We know that, as long as the group maintains the same goal and a sense of harmony, then there is nothing that will impede the goal. And finishing the goal is always what matters. I am very certain about this, but this is just my one (right) opinion on the brain of an Enneagram 8.
“If you’re gonna cry and whine about it, you’ve got to at least try to fix it too.” SO my husband!!!
😂😂😂
Currently in medical school, and it’s funny to see how the type 8 personality traits really shaped my career path 😂
Lol!
These were super helpful. I am an 8, and a lot of your feedback, and your husbands, is super practical! I felt like I was in therapy 😅! I look forward to trying out some of these tips! Thanks!
This was accurate for me. Words of encouragement and appreciation are good! I also get motivated by bonuses….lol
Of course what motivates people is an individual thing. But for me, I’m motivated as an 8 when others are doing their part. It’s overwhelming when I’m feeling as though I have to do my part and every one else’s too. 🤪💪.
Yes! My husband who is an 8 agreed! 👏🏼😂
Very helpful, great overview, so many of your thoughts resonated with me. Thank you for making this summary! The more we learn about ourselves and others, the better this world!
You are so welcome!
I had friends who say I dont listen to them, and this something I am working on.
Way to go!
I didn’t realize you already did one at work!
Yes!
I am a type 8, ISTJ
goodluck life
I work with a type 8 and this is so spot on!
Sweet!
I’m an 8w7. I don’t care for long emails but if I get one, I’m skimming anyway. Train your eyes to hunt for the asks in every email.
Thanks Hillary. I'm 99% sure my husband is a type 8. This was helpful. I'm slowly chipping away at him to get on board.
Oh, your so welcome! You’re doing great by learning about him! It helped me understand my husband so much.
One thing for them to remember is that (like a lot of other types) we all didn't receive 'their rule book'. What is obvious to them is a whole new discovery for someone of my type. For a long time I had NO idea what "having their back" would look like - and I thought I WAS doing that... but obviously not how they viewed it.
Love their confidence level. (Wish I could get regular orders of that 'venti size with added chocolate drizzle' please! ) Thanks for the upload.
Same! 😂
I don't ask for people's opinions- I can manage and if I'd taken most of the advice I was given I wouldn't be where I am today lol!
😂
@@enneagramandcoaching typical 8 😂😂
@@TheRealHelenaDeluca 😂😂😂
As a type 8 I agree with everything you said. I’ve come off as a bully, pushy, conceited etc. Taking the enneagram test it’s helped me to know myself and the reason for the choices I make. It’s easy for me to show loyalty to the death to those whom are genuine.
I love that the Enneagram helps us to see ourselves in a way that helps with growth. And the loyalty of an 8 is amazing. Thank you for sharing.
This is sooooo me as a Type 8. We make very good Project Manager. Like your husband I have had to take a beat and ask questions that I know the answers to, to be fair and respect the other person. I have had to learn to sometime take a backseat sometimes and not be so quick to speak but listen.
Yes!!! My husband loves project management! This is great! Thanks for sharing!
I’m a type eight it is very easy for me to make a decision. As I can see the big picture so I can’t relate at all . I have to be able to make a decision quickly !
Awesome!
Is it possible for an ISTP eight? since you are saying it's about seeing the big picture and leading people while I'm IS.
From what I understand, yes. The 8 uses the 7, 9, 5, 2 and so this plays a big role in how you could be a ISTP and an Enneagram 8. Hope this helps!
Thank you so much for this video. I wanted to watch it because my son is an 8w9 and I also work in a small office with an 8. Thanks especially for how to motivate an 8. I think it is tough sometimes especially if they are leaning hard on the 9 wing. It also showed me that although I am a 7w6, sometimes I must lean on the 8 wing. When you said They take charge because they think it won't get done or won't get done right. Yikes...I do have tendency to do that and also they part about getting annoyed with people who complain and whine but don't want to do anything about it.
You’re so welcome Lorrie! Thanks for sharing! I loved hearing from your point of view! 💛
For type 8....words of encouragement/affirmation is not what motivates us. Challenges (as you mentioned) does. I believe what you are diving into with your husband is his love language. One of the 5 love languages is words of affirmation. I believe that's why he's motivated by it. Personally, as a type 8 I couldn't give a crap about what others think. (something I like and hate about myself)
Iam woman type 8 and sometimes I feel an male. Doet it make sense?
Good information!
Thank you!
Hillary, help! I'm a 9w1, and I would appreciate knowing how to be in healthy relationship with the 8s in my life who give ultimatums. Sometimes those demands are not realistic or would be unhealthy boundary busters. What language or approach could I use to help us all work without these extremes?
Hi! I’m an 8. 8s are very black and white they see no grey area. 8s need to mature and learn how to love other people and not be mean or rude. They often are the way they are because they want to put up a front because they’re scared of being hurt. Every 8 growing up at some point lost there childhood and they have put up a barrier to there vulnerabilities. I would say be up front and assertive. 8s love a challenge and will respect you because you tell them the truth! Tell this 8 what you feel and say that you think it’s to much. But that you love them. Don’t be to detailed just straight to the point. Hope this helps!
My husband is an eight so I do understand what you're saying. What's helped us is us both learning about our own type and each others type. It's given us more insight and more understanding of each other. I've been married 20 years and having this language helps us to fight less and talk more. Eights even though it might seem hard and scary to a nine, want people to be direct. Hope this helps!
This is me. To the freaking T.
Except, don’t give me words of encouragement. It makes me super suspicious that you want something from me.
Hahaha!
I'm surprised that you associate the "big picture thinking" with the type 8. I'm a type 9w1 and I also usually think about the big picture first before considering details. And I can get quite mad (internally...) when somebody focuses on a small aspect too quickly. But maybe this is how my (otherwise hidden) 8 wing shows up.
I think the difference is for 8s, seeing the bigger picture is so intrinsic that’s it becomes second nature. It’s what allows us to be confidently decisive bc instinctively we know what the end goal is. We don’t “think” about the bigger picture if that makes sense. That’s also why it’s so important for us to slow down and consider the cause and effect of those actions
How to motivate an 8: Do your job and keep yourself motivated.
My type 8 husband agrees with you 😃
I don’t know about the motivation for an 8 being correct. Words of encouragement seem more applied to your Love Language. My love language is Acts of Service so I cannot relate. (Although before this video, i thought Acts of Service was very typical for an 8 to prioritize. When you take something off of the to-do list for an 8, they are extremely greatful. You just saved them time to do something else.) I appreciate concrete praise but not encouragement. I don’t need that. I encourage myself, but when someone tells me the work that I completed caused a significant result that they appreciate. That is what actually matters.
We do need to be motivated at times when we burn ourselves out from steamrolling our way through everything.
In this way, we are motivated by conflict. When someone feels like they want the opposite result than what we want, it easily energizes us. If someone wants us to fail, we will persevere and succeed solely because we won’t prove them right. We are the right ones.
Additionally, we are energized and motivated by clarity. Sometimes we are muddled with large problems: lots of people disagreeing with us distracting us from the goal. Thus, when we can see the clear big picture that we’re striving for. That is the biggest motivator. When we know where we want to go, we just need to figure out the right steps- which we’ve done so many ways before.
I would also agree with a comment below that others doing their share of work is motivating. Only because we know that we don’t need to slow our pace down. We know that, as long as the group maintains the same goal and a sense of harmony, then there is nothing that will impede the goal. And finishing the goal is always what matters.
I am very certain about this, but this is just my one (right) opinion on the brain of an Enneagram 8.