I know that Europe is not a country (and I keep saying it to people) but I feel like people’s relationship with work is pretty similar in most of Western Europe (I’m french), we may love working, we may love our jobs… but it’s not our main identity. So I think that you moving to London is probably the best thing that could happen to your relationship with work. Now one thing I would love to see you talk about as someone who is super busy, how do you deal with chores? (Like cooking, groceries and stuff). Cause living alone that’s my biggest struggle, super productive with everything but that
Oh I would be happy to make a video about domestic chores and productivity + how me and my partner split responsibilities compared to when I lived alone
I struggle with that too (actually I think I asked about it on an instagram video). I’m starting to look at how much it costs to hire someone for a couple of hours a week…
Hey Kaelyn! I wanted to say a quick thanks for your videos and all the work you have done to help students and other aspiring scholars! I am currently a second-year MA student in Art History and have been working on my MA thesis as well as applying to PhD programs for the next academic year. I constantly come back to your channel to get tips on staying organized and how to better approach my research, and I find your strategies really helpful! You also inspire me in your ability to balance life and truly enjoy it whilst being immersed in a PhD program which is something I hope to one day achieve! Thank you always!
Love this video so much. I've been watching for a few years and don't think I've ever seen you look so genuinely happy and content. So pleased for you. ❤
Good video. Always stick to your views, and listen to your heart. Do what you want to do, not what the world expects you to do. Happy to hear your plans.
Why am I tearing up!? So happy for you! ❤ you give me so much hope! I started following you in 2022 and it’s been a joy to watch this whole journey. I hope I find really beautiful friendships like you have.
I completely agree about your marriage point of view. Marriage is not commitment. Commitment is being there for each other always, during highs and lows in life. Two people can be committed, love and be there for each other without being married. The most purest and greatest love story of Lord Krishna (who told Bhagvatgita) and Radha is an example. They were not married still the commitment and love they had for each other is for each of us to learn.
Except marriage IS the commitment. You don't have to have a legal paper or a ceremony to be married. A ceremony is an opportunity for friends and family to celebrate, and can be done for as much or as little money as one wants. It's definitely worth it to commemorate it in some way. The legal marriage contract is important in some countries, but it's still a contract and not a marriage itself. I don't know why so many people have so much difficulty understanding that marriage is the same thing as commitment, and a legal piece of paper that makes the marriage legal is just a contract.
What a lovely update! So relatable! Earlier this year my spouse and I moved our of our urban apartment into a more suburban townhome. It's still super walkable to retail, parks, and public transit (for the US), but we see trees and wildlife outside our windows and I love that! I do personally like being married, I have some peace of mind knowing that institutions in any jurisdiction would agree we are family. However, I totally understand your position, and do believe we were equally committed during the years were partners but not married!
The way I see it, we can have a ceremony to mark the commitment, but like you, I don't necessarily see how a legal document would change much or deepen a connection that already exists. However, would it benefit your visa application/timeline? I know that is the mindset in the US for those that have international partners.
Love all of this for you ❤ I’ve been here since the start of the pandemic and you just seem to be in so much of a better place. On the ‘moving out of London’ front, have you got any thoughts about where? We’re down on the south coast, and while it is lovely here and less expensive than London, it is still so expensive compared to some other parts of the UK! However, obviously the relatively easy travel to London is a big plus as well
So excited for you with the future move! Know that there are a few (very few) mortgage companies that will give you a joint mortgage while only considering one of your financials. Accord Mortgages did that for us (we only had one of our incomes in GBP, the other one in USD and a PhD fellowship, so not appealing to mortgage lenders). We are both liable for the mortgage equally and both put the same deposit into it , using our Lifetime ISAs and some savings. We fixed the rate long enough that I would have finished my PhD by the time we have to renegotiate/renew/sell our flat. The process from first offer to moving in was faster as it was in winter and right after the first time rates rose and fell, it took 2 months in total (the soliciting process felt like a part-time job at that time bit 100% worth it moving fast). The market in Edinburgh usually moves very fast, with homes sold within 14 days and huge bids, but we were lucky and only marginally overpaid from the offers (I think you'll be lucky in England as you don't normally do the "offers over" system, though you do have the legal rights to gazump and gazunder, which is not fun!) Good luck with the process and don't give up when mortgage advisors tell you no to a joint mortgage. Push through, that's when it worked for us. There are also mortgage advisors specialised in mortgages for expats, and these might charge you, though it might be worth it. Companies like the Mortgage Advice Bureau are free and get paid from the sale rather than from you. Hope this helps!
Also, mortgage advisors told us that the credit score doesn't really matter, it's more the absence of negative credit, and that proved too! To work your credit history, you can use Credit Ladder to register your payments such as rents, bills, etc. And use your UK credit card for few things (a small portion of your allowed amount each month) like groceries/bills that you always pay on time, get on the electoral roll (even as an non-citizen), etc. It's always best to both be liable for the mortgage if you can, though of course that might not always be possible.
@@KaelynGraceApple Then you'll have one for the next I'm sure! All of these things are such a learning curve when you go through them, thought I'd tell you how it went for us while it's still semi-fresh in my mind :D
I love your content 🥰 What would be your advice for someone ( with a social science PhD background) who wants to work on tech ? what are the skills to have or develop? thanks for your advice, I really value your way of thinking :)
Such a delightful video! I found you through your PhD but I enjoy all of your content, and then to discover you are an equestrian too! ❤ Maybe a purchase a few years down the line? 😉
I love how partners are the ultimate enablers 😂 I got back in the saddle again mostly thanks to his insistence (although yes, I had been talking about horses nonstop since forever, but it never seemed to be the right time). I’ve never been happier, I love being an awkward 32 years old amateur at the barn, among lots of other horse crazy girls. The marriage things is like the most common question asked to us at our age, I wish older ones wouldn’t keep on asking the same all over again. I like how you phrased that your commitment doesn’t depend on a legal tie to be true. That’s the same feeling for me, although in my country marriage still brings some legal and economic advantages, specially relating to taxes and so it’s worth thinking about it on my part. No rush though😂 Good luck on finding your home away from the urban areas!! Waiting to see all about it here!❤
Omg I feel the same way about marriage! (Also a child of divorce 😂) I would love a long term committed partnership, but the marriage piece is not a huge priority for me. I love these chatty vlogs! Congrats on the upcoming move to the countryside!
My partner and I bought a house together over 5 years ago, we're not married. We had to sign far more paperwork for the house than any marriage certificate ;-) We're not religious either. I want to be with this guy forever and would have a wedding, but it isn't necessary.
Thank you so much for sharing about your views on marriage/children. My partner and I also don't plan on having children and marriage is also a bit meh too! I absolutely love your content so much, and I just feel like I relate to you even more now! Also looove Anne of Green Gables
I agree with you on marriage. But since I live in the US and will probably always live in the US, I probably will get married for the economic, tax, insurance, etc benefits.
Highly agree with your point about marriage!! I am also doing my PhD in the UK and have been with my boyfriend for over five years and we also don't plan to have kids. Marriage does not have any point for us either. And sometimes marriage can be exploitive for women as a product of heteronormativity and patriarchy!
I think marriage is a commitment before God and the vows/ rituals reinforce your commitment to that singular partner for life with a divine witness. That said, of course, if you aren't super religious, a deep commitment to each other verbally and otherwise makes more sense. So, you do you :) I watched one of your vlogs long back where you could never find a compatible person through your bad dates, and look how far you've come! It's so nice to see you full of so much love and receiving the same. I wish I could find my person too... Of course PhD content is what brought me here as a fellow scholar, but I love your book content so much! I'd love for your reading vlogs to center around history books and reading them. A whole separate video for history recs would be amazing too. At the end of the day, I think we all stress too much. Life always works out in the end and seeing your journey and growth makes reassures me of that 😊
God yeah im 30 and my MIL wont shut up about the marriage and kids thing, it makes me feel so crappy because the more i hear it the more it just sounds like these people dont see me as anything other than a second to my partner. Weve been together 10 years, wont be having children (infact im thinking abiut getring my tubes tied or something) and we just put a deposit down for our first place and all she can talk about is the kids we wont have ;-; im with you on cost, we wanted to have a spiritual marriage and still will but with us getting a condo well probably have to just for taxes and mortgages but its going to be a $100 certificate signing in our living room, his family can complain about it idk lol
Hosting a wedding is expensive. Getting married is not. The latter can be very nice (my husband and I also choose not to have children). The former is not important.
I know that Europe is not a country (and I keep saying it to people) but I feel like people’s relationship with work is pretty similar in most of Western Europe (I’m french), we may love working, we may love our jobs… but it’s not our main identity. So I think that you moving to London is probably the best thing that could happen to your relationship with work.
Now one thing I would love to see you talk about as someone who is super busy, how do you deal with chores? (Like cooking, groceries and stuff). Cause living alone that’s my biggest struggle, super productive with everything but that
Oh I would be happy to make a video about domestic chores and productivity + how me and my partner split responsibilities compared to when I lived alone
I struggle with that too (actually I think I asked about it on an instagram video). I’m starting to look at how much it costs to hire someone for a couple of hours a week…
Hey Kaelyn! I wanted to say a quick thanks for your videos and all the work you have done to help students and other aspiring scholars! I am currently a second-year MA student in Art History and have been working on my MA thesis as well as applying to PhD programs for the next academic year. I constantly come back to your channel to get tips on staying organized and how to better approach my research, and I find your strategies really helpful! You also inspire me in your ability to balance life and truly enjoy it whilst being immersed in a PhD program which is something I hope to one day achieve! Thank you always!
Love this video so much. I've been watching for a few years and don't think I've ever seen you look so genuinely happy and content. So pleased for you. ❤
🥺 thank you friend
Good video. Always stick to your views, and listen to your heart. Do what you want to do, not what the world expects you to do. Happy to hear your plans.
Why am I tearing up!? So happy for you! ❤ you give me so much hope! I started following you in 2022 and it’s been a joy to watch this whole journey. I hope I find really beautiful friendships like you have.
🥺 thank you for being there each step of the way friend
I completely agree about your marriage point of view. Marriage is not commitment. Commitment is being there for each other always, during highs and lows in life. Two people can be committed, love and be there for each other without being married. The most purest and greatest love story of Lord Krishna (who told Bhagvatgita) and Radha is an example. They were not married still the commitment and love they had for each other is for each of us to learn.
Except marriage IS the commitment. You don't have to have a legal paper or a ceremony to be married. A ceremony is an opportunity for friends and family to celebrate, and can be done for as much or as little money as one wants. It's definitely worth it to commemorate it in some way. The legal marriage contract is important in some countries, but it's still a contract and not a marriage itself. I don't know why so many people have so much difficulty understanding that marriage is the same thing as commitment, and a legal piece of paper that makes the marriage legal is just a contract.
What a lovely update! So relatable! Earlier this year my spouse and I moved our of our urban apartment into a more suburban townhome. It's still super walkable to retail, parks, and public transit (for the US), but we see trees and wildlife outside our windows and I love that! I do personally like being married, I have some peace of mind knowing that institutions in any jurisdiction would agree we are family. However, I totally understand your position, and do believe we were equally committed during the years were partners but not married!
The way I see it, we can have a ceremony to mark the commitment, but like you, I don't necessarily see how a legal document would change much or deepen a connection that already exists. However, would it benefit your visa application/timeline? I know that is the mindset in the US for those that have international partners.
I'm always impressed in how good you are in front of a camera!
Hahaha it’s just like talking to a friend 🥰
Congratulations Kaelyn❣️Happy Taco Tuesday! 🎉 Always do what's best for you, Moo & London man. 🎉🥰
omg, Anne of Green Gables is my favorite novel/movie ... also is one of our most prized possessions as a Canadians
I'm so happy for you and so proud of you and how you've grown over the last 4!--almost 5 years. 💚
Love all of this for you ❤ I’ve been here since the start of the pandemic and you just seem to be in so much of a better place. On the ‘moving out of London’ front, have you got any thoughts about where? We’re down on the south coast, and while it is lovely here and less expensive than London, it is still so expensive compared to some other parts of the UK! However, obviously the relatively easy travel to London is a big plus as well
So excited for you with the future move! Know that there are a few (very few) mortgage companies that will give you a joint mortgage while only considering one of your financials. Accord Mortgages did that for us (we only had one of our incomes in GBP, the other one in USD and a PhD fellowship, so not appealing to mortgage lenders). We are both liable for the mortgage equally and both put the same deposit into it , using our Lifetime ISAs and some savings. We fixed the rate long enough that I would have finished my PhD by the time we have to renegotiate/renew/sell our flat. The process from first offer to moving in was faster as it was in winter and right after the first time rates rose and fell, it took 2 months in total (the soliciting process felt like a part-time job at that time bit 100% worth it moving fast). The market in Edinburgh usually moves very fast, with homes sold within 14 days and huge bids, but we were lucky and only marginally overpaid from the offers (I think you'll be lucky in England as you don't normally do the "offers over" system, though you do have the legal rights to gazump and gazunder, which is not fun!) Good luck with the process and don't give up when mortgage advisors tell you no to a joint mortgage. Push through, that's when it worked for us. There are also mortgage advisors specialised in mortgages for expats, and these might charge you, though it might be worth it. Companies like the Mortgage Advice Bureau are free and get paid from the sale rather than from you. Hope this helps!
Also, mortgage advisors told us that the credit score doesn't really matter, it's more the absence of negative credit, and that proved too! To work your credit history, you can use Credit Ladder to register your payments such as rents, bills, etc. And use your UK credit card for few things (a small portion of your allowed amount each month) like groceries/bills that you always pay on time, get on the electoral roll (even as an non-citizen), etc. It's always best to both be liable for the mortgage if you can, though of course that might not always be possible.
We won't have a joint mortgage for the first place
@@KaelynGraceApple Then you'll have one for the next I'm sure! All of these things are such a learning curve when you go through them, thought I'd tell you how it went for us while it's still semi-fresh in my mind :D
The way this is giving Emma Stone at the end of ‘Easy A’, I love it!
Also, a big hi and hello to London Boy.
hahaha I love that movie!
I love your content 🥰 What would be your advice for someone ( with a social science PhD background) who wants to work on tech ? what are the skills to have or develop? thanks for your advice, I really value your way of thinking :)
Watch my previous video on working in tech
What a lovely positive video. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Thank you.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Such a delightful video! I found you through your PhD but I enjoy all of your content, and then to discover you are an equestrian too! ❤ Maybe a purchase a few years down the line? 😉
So validating hearing your views on marriage as mine are the exact same!!
I love how partners are the ultimate enablers 😂 I got back in the saddle again mostly thanks to his insistence (although yes, I had been talking about horses nonstop since forever, but it never seemed to be the right time). I’ve never been happier, I love being an awkward 32 years old amateur at the barn, among lots of other horse crazy girls.
The marriage things is like the most common question asked to us at our age, I wish older ones wouldn’t keep on asking the same all over again. I like how you phrased that your commitment doesn’t depend on a legal tie to be true. That’s the same feeling for me, although in my country marriage still brings some legal and economic advantages, specially relating to taxes and so it’s worth thinking about it on my part. No rush though😂
Good luck on finding your home away from the urban areas!! Waiting to see all about it here!❤
Omg I feel the same way about marriage! (Also a child of divorce 😂) I would love a long term committed partnership, but the marriage piece is not a huge priority for me.
I love these chatty vlogs! Congrats on the upcoming move to the countryside!
My partner and I bought a house together over 5 years ago, we're not married. We had to sign far more paperwork for the house than any marriage certificate ;-) We're not religious either. I want to be with this guy forever and would have a wedding, but it isn't necessary.
So many videos in a row in the past week!
It’s vlogmas! A video a day until Christmas 🥰🥰
Thank you so much for sharing about your views on marriage/children. My partner and I also don't plan on having children and marriage is also a bit meh too! I absolutely love your content so much, and I just feel like I relate to you even more now!
Also looove Anne of Green Gables
Kindred spirits ♥️♥️♥️
I agree with you on marriage. But since I live in the US and will probably always live in the US, I probably will get married for the economic, tax, insurance, etc benefits.
I love everything... but... I'm sorry but just I cannot get over your dog, it is just one of the cutest doggo in the whole world
hahahaa I completely agree
Highly agree with your point about marriage!! I am also doing my PhD in the UK and have been with my boyfriend for over five years and we also don't plan to have kids. Marriage does not have any point for us either. And sometimes marriage can be exploitive for women as a product of heteronormativity and patriarchy!
I think marriage is a commitment before God and the vows/ rituals reinforce your commitment to that singular partner for life with a divine witness.
That said, of course, if you aren't super religious, a deep commitment to each other verbally and otherwise makes more sense. So, you do you :)
I watched one of your vlogs long back where you could never find a compatible person through your bad dates, and look how far you've come! It's so nice to see you full of so much love and receiving the same. I wish I could find my person too...
Of course PhD content is what brought me here as a fellow scholar, but I love your book content so much! I'd love for your reading vlogs to center around history books and reading them. A whole separate video for history recs would be amazing too.
At the end of the day, I think we all stress too much. Life always works out in the end and seeing your journey and growth makes reassures me of that 😊
Oh I love the idea of a video on history book recommendations!
God yeah im 30 and my MIL wont shut up about the marriage and kids thing, it makes me feel so crappy because the more i hear it the more it just sounds like these people dont see me as anything other than a second to my partner. Weve been together 10 years, wont be having children (infact im thinking abiut getring my tubes tied or something) and we just put a deposit down for our first place and all she can talk about is the kids we wont have ;-; im with you on cost, we wanted to have a spiritual marriage and still will but with us getting a condo well probably have to just for taxes and mortgages but its going to be a $100 certificate signing in our living room, his family can complain about it idk lol
Just: ❤❤😊
Hosting a wedding is expensive. Getting married is not. The latter can be very nice (my husband and I also choose not to have children). The former is not important.
May I asked why you decided to get married?
yeah girl, you're better off staying over there for the next four years minimum lol
thats my plan 😅