Folks - no matter who you prefer to listen to for advice on RUclips - PLEASE do not do the 7/30/45/90 Day No Contact! It is very manipulative and doesn't form healthy relationships.
Hei i have a situation I'm on nc for the last 2 months just today she unfriend me and her mother .... what kind of people are they I didn't disturb them or anything
@@floringhioaca4529 do not respond to this type of behavior. the reasons for doing such a thing are endless, but ultimately they do not contribute value to your life. you only respond to situations that contribute value to your life
Did no contact and improved myself then she came back 8 months later. I politely declined the offer. I'm in a great space and I'm now dating someone better.
Friends, please, stand in front of the mirror and say this: I love myself, I love myself, I love myself... now say this: no contact is forever no contact is forever. No contact is forever... I will contact this person, maybe, in another lifetime.
"When you met them you did not *need* them, you grew to need them." Quite true. Being needy does push them away. I must try not to contact her over Christmas. I must remain absent. As hard as that is.
When I met her I did need her, my life was a mess. She got me up and running, changed my values and how I see life. Now this is the exact reason she broke up with me though. She thinks we are too different, after 1,8 years she broke up exactly 2 weeks ago.
Believe me every one of you strictly do no contact and cut every single possible contact from them, believe me they will reach out to you but also that doesn't mean you will be get back together. In the end you gonna win this. 50% chance of winning them back but 100% chance you will win yourself back. Stay strong 💪 Don't be sad. You got this 💪
Unlike many coaches You have very professional voice and perfect pronunciation.. as a foreigner I find it easy and pleasant listening to You.. the advices are appreciated too 😉
Rory my man this video came out at the right time! I was debating on breaking no contact today since it's my exes birthday, but this video helped reminded me on how she tossed me to the side like trash and how much pain she put me through. I've really done alot of self improvement and have grown mentally and physically. I feel, act and walk like the best looking man in the room now. Thanks for your videos Rory, keep doing your thing!
Ryan Counts I love this. I have to get that same mentality. Feel act and walk like I’m the best looking female in the “building” lol. This helps thank you! Btw, what did you do to get to this point.
@@whisperingwind7730 it sure is! I've read alot of books to improve myself, accomplished alot of goals. I'm closer to having a law enforcement career and preparing for a bodybuilding contest this fall. I feel like a lion walking through my jungle everyday
@T Mac would you want someone back that broke up with you? 🙅🏾♀️ I wouldn't. They are not it. If they truly wanted me they would have never broken up with me. Period.
Probably 2 or 3 months into no contact. Finished therapy and my anxiety classes. I got a new job that I like, I’ve been trying new hobbies and found one that I absolutely love! AND I got my dream car!
My ex girlfriend contacted me after 27 Days. I tried to meet up with her. She refused. This was the second time she broke up with me. I told her, I was done. I went back into no contact for myself.
No contact is the best thing i have done, Physically improving getting healthier, Happier . She wished me Happy birthday then blocked me after seeing i am having a good time with friends.. Time heals you guys Just focus on yourself you will thank yourself
Thank you. Came right on time. I am on day 8 of NC and I am struggling so badly. I miss him soo much and the thoughts are extremely obsessive. I begged and pleaded for a whole long month and guess what, he was dismissive, rude and lacked regard. I know reaching out does NOT work because all it had done is make me depressed, lose self respect, devalued me and I am still heartbroken and alone. Can you believe I even apologiesed for things I know I didn't do just to get him to change his mind 😔🙆🏽♀️. Ladies and gents, please listen to Rory as he is 1 million percent right. Go straight to NC and do not sell yourself short. I regret ever begging him to come back because all I did was boost his ego even more than it already was.
For me it’s been a year and he never contacted me or came back.. some days I’m happy some days I miss him like crazy but yeah life goes on :)) I know it’s hard but not impossible stay strong everyone and focus on your life ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Over 2 months post breakup and NC. It’s been very tough and the worst part is that I don’t feel any relief. When I wake up in the morning all this crazy thoughts come to my head and it just messes up my day. I still miss her very much but there is nothing I could do.
Please bring more topic on no contact, a lot of us are surviving from narcissist abuse. So things to up lift our spirits would be helpful. This video was good.
Rory, Thank you for the videos! A message to my fellow NC’ers: Like Rory said, NC is FOR YOU, not to be used as a tool to win them back. You reduce your chances of being disappointed...
acctually i do not have any problems with breaking NC, because of my stubbornness and my will power. My problem is that sometimes I have these flashbacks, that ruin my mood and day
There's no information about no contact for a mutual breakup. You'd be the first on RUclips. Love your channel. Thanks for all your help and amazing advice
I don’t know if this helps anyone else. But my ex goes to the same gym as me and I just stopped treating him different. I acknowledge him with the same head nod that I give anyone else in there.
Sunnydaze_and_Ruby Xx same situation, I originally ignored her but then changed that to indifference, saying hello or smiling and keeping it moving. Eventually she reached out and now we are back seeing each other but I feel more in control of the situation and still keep my options open (dating other people)
I realize this was a while ago but i am in the exact same situation. We go to the same gym, and i work there. To make it worse, we are all wearings masks so I can’t see her real facial expression when seeing me. We see each other almost every week. She smiles under the mask and waves. We broke up 4 months ago in June, and she has contacted me in some way every single month since then (including for my birthday last month). All through text tho, never in person. Last time she did it (on my birthday) i left her on read. I didn’t wanna play her game anymore. I have a coaching scheduled with rory next Tuesday. Her birthday is Wednesday. Im not sure what to do AT ALL. Hopefully he will clarify stuff for me. Hopefully me leaving her on read wasn’t a terrible idea. Sad to see 4 different reach outs since the break up and no reconciliation :/
He came back after a few months NC, but in that time I realized what I wanted for myself, and from a potential partner, and after all that reflection, I don't see myself dating him again.
Thank you so much for your content! You have so much helpful content and I cannot wait to see where I go in the next couple of months. I’ve learned to see beauty in the pain. This being my first breakup, I didn’t know how to handle my emotions. Your words of affirmation really gave me confidence and excitement for my future! Thank you so so much!!
I see a lot of comments about how to do no contact if you have a child/children together and I'd like to give my thoughts based on my own experience. I usually contact (via text) my ex 2-3 days in advance with "Hey! I was wondering if I could pick up (child's name) at such and such time" and that's basically it, no emotion and staight to the point. ONLY contact them when you want to see or talk to your kids. Nothing else about no contact changes. DO NOT, argue about the child, DO NOT speak negatively about your ex to the child and DO NOT use the child to manipulate the situation REGARDLESS of their actions. At this point your relationship with your child is more important than the relationship you lost. Not only can you use NC to become the best version of youself, you can use it to become the best mom/dad for your child. Hope this helps and I know it's hard, and I know it hurts but you gotta be twice as strong, for you and your kids.
Thank you no contact is for ever, thanks for not telling us its for a couple of months. It ended for a reason it's time to move on. I surely don't want my ex back. It is hard to let them go but with time you will be OK. If no contact work for you to get your ex back, God bless you.
ha! no contact for 5 months, now ex started posting Indirect post aiming at me like missing me etc...too bad I met someone new . no contact works 100% and it is for you not for your ex
Day 18👌...she reached out a couple of days ago just to ask a mundane question(i guess she was checking on me) no response after I gave her a answer. I been on radio silence from social media also, now it seems shes posting more then usual...the other day shes now making her rebound relationship obviously known in the comments on the guys page where everyone can see. Maybe it's a way to make me jealous, not really sure because in the guys bio it says he single. Imma stick with no contact tho
I work with my ex and I see her everyday. 3 months and I've kept myself busy by focusing on work, going to the gym, and traveling out of town on the weekends. Heck I even started skateboarding again, which I haven't done since high school. Honestly I don't even care if she comes back or not. The fun train keeps rolling. :D
I started no contact with the view to get my ex back....but now it turned into self developing day by day.... to keep myself busy...I have started yoga which helped me to keep myself fit and get a great figure.....I took admission into a new course ....which is helping me growing academically ........ and I am feeling so positive ,happy and content.....it really worked Rory....don't know how to thank u...god bless u Rory
34 Days of NC,, I'm dying on the inside,, will this ever go away,,?,, it was short term,, frm March till may" I miss him soooooo much,, Rory',, Short term can be just as Devastating:: Friends,, plz help""!!!!
It’s been almost a month that he broke up with me, at the beginning I would text and call crying like 3 times, he kept telling me that he was there for me no matter what and that he wanted us to be friends. The last time I called him I told him at the end that I don’t want to talk or see him anymore, I asked him to please stop reaching out to me and he agreed. More than a week has passed and I made the mistake of sending him a video of me singing a song to his email, then send him another email with a text about compatibility (the reason that he left me) and today I had severe anxiety and called him because he was always the person I would call for help, he didn’t pickup the phone or send me a message like he used to do the first times after the breakup. I feel kind of stupid now for breaking the no contact like that, I regret it and now I have to start from 0. I’m really going to make it this time and come to this video when I feel like breaking it again. Thanks for the good videos.
At the 30 day mark currently. Left her on read after a negative message was sent on her part. Picked up jiu jitsu and work 7 days a week. Miss her but working on my new self feels fucking good
So I've been in no contact for 2 and half months now but just last week sometime this month she calls and ask about an issue she had with her car of course I was like wtf and i laugh. But I answered in a mature manner and never text her back. Straight back into no contact. Like I know you she's seeing other people now go live your best life without me. I wish I could seen this months ago.
My ex agreed to talking and seeing each other here and there. We were talking as friends, laughing, flirting and having a good time. I was hoping that everything was going to lead to us getting back together. I then found out he was planning on moving to Another state. I asked him if it was true and he said yes. I then said that we shouldn’t see each other anymore because I didn’t want to keep my hopes up with a guy that was planning on leaving. He stayed quiet... and then I said... right? To confirm. And he said... I don’t know. I then proceeded to say, ok that’s all I wanted to know. Have a good night. He said ok good nigh. He hasn’t text or call since then. That was 3 days ago. Idk what to do. I really wanted to fix things with him. He still doesnt know when exactly he might be moving. Btw, he is my ex husband. We were married for 10 years😔 I keep telling myself, if he moves it’s because he doesn’t care and is willing to lose me. Then I should really move on
Its been two months no contact, and I can honestly say I've come out the other side. I no longer wish to get back with my ex which I never thought I would say two months ago. I'm going on dates with other women, focusing on setting up a business and working out like a champ! Everyone gets there it just takes time and you must focus on improving yourself, physically, mentality, spiritually resourcefully. Occupy your mind with other things and you'll surprise yourself with your ability to get over your ex.
Hi Rory, been 3 months NC he broke up with me and i admit still misses him and still love him, always on my mind and am still hurting but ur videos help my self control not reach out ....i do Yoga 2x a day , i lost 10kg in just a month... learning ukelele and playing guitar it helps me a lot ... Wish i can move on quickly but doesn't work he still pops up on my mind every minute ...i dont know how to move on in my situation .... Hmm We've been in a relationship 3 years / 5months LDR
Its been 9 month of NC, already dated someone new, but still remember her sometimes, man i do really love her even she dump me like shit, not stalking her at all since NC, unfollowed and everything, and still no sign of her coming back, im regret for my begging action that make her hate me even more back then, trying to love my new gf like i love my ex, but i cant lie to myself, i cant love her like i love my ex, it is sucks tho
What if I broke no contact to return her baby's belongings. I stayed calm collected and didn't bring up the past. Just " here are your things and have a good one " she was very thankful and said she was open to grab food the next time she came to my town... Which I responded thanks but I'm not interested in being just friends. The door is open have a good day....(walked)
My question is how to handle exchanging stuff that I want/need when you've been in NC. So. I was in NC for 6 weeks till today. I reached out only because I want my old laptop back and I figured id give her the stuff I have back. I'm way better than I was 6 weeks ago or even 6 months ago when I was with her. Exchanging stuff tomorrow. Then going back to NC. Thanks for the advice it's very helpful.
I went into no contact after my gf told me that she was having issues loving herself and that a relationship wasn't for her rn. Hoping NC was the right move, close to a month of NC💪
@@ralphmachado8201 I've moved on. I reached out months ago just to see if anything would happen and yeah, she didn't show much of any interest. Her loss, someone else's win.
GB.Ellas.left in the cold 12 of march went no contact next second.painted the house new furnutures chanched all the decoration started reading again went to the gym.no contact is for you NOT for them!
My ex fiancé left me after being together for 7 years . He proposed last year , then left me a few weeks ago (through text message) . 3 weeks no contact as of now. 🤞 I’ve been working on myself a lot and finding my individuality again . I wonder if he misses me or thinks about me or even hurts like I do..
I believe our ex’s do they do hear a song or two and it takes them back to the feeling the moments you had together they see a place and it takes them back I don’t care how stubborn you are you can’t run away from those feelings just a matter of time.
Hi Lindsey. If he doesn’t, he will. Stay strong and fucking awesome. Stay silent until he reaches out. In the meantime, let your best friend be your best friend and have your back. Focus on YOU, you are the star of your movie. Also, NC gets easier from 3-4 weeks on, so you have already been through the worst of it by now. Keep on growing. 😊 //Magnus
My Fiancee did the same, was together for 2 years. Had some issues with my parents. I asked her to let go. Broke up with me over text. I love her but this was a very immature behaviour. I am conflicted to what to do. I have apologised but she is saying that she has moved on. It’s been 2 month of NC after that.
Rory thanks for your guidance. You’ve nailed the behaviour of the dumpee when it comes to how i felt. I’d like you to adress breakup of a short relationship. I’ve been a victim of love bombing... future faking with a man that i quickly... quickly got attached. Maybe thought it was attachments to him but quickly realize i fell for what he put in my head. He got what he wanted and took away the attention he gave me just as quickly. Why is it so hard, why does this one hurt? And trust me i know what it is to end a 10 year relationship. But this one... a couple of weeks... Some people here may read and not really think there is an issue for such a short term relationship. But it’s been a rollercoaster of emotion. Tx in advance for any consideration!
Nc can always do again! Don’t care if he is coming back but I can always get myself back because that’s in my control! Thank you so so much Rory for the update and effort!
Second day of NC - Broke up 4 days ago. First two days tried to talk "sense" to her but did have any effect so here we go. Luckily I am aware of this method from the past. Self improvement here we go again.
Do you think that women can feel when you’ve moved on. Sort of like a sixth sense. I hear a lot of people say as soon as they’ve moved on is when they get a text. Thoughts ?
It's been nearly 2 yrs since we last spoke. He did send one text 6 months after we stop speaking and I replied very briefly. He would also randomly like a few of my posts last year. This year he sent a Facebook friend request which I deleted. I felt I am way more worth a simple friend request. NC has gotten better for me. I run into his friends and even the girl that he was seeing at the same time as me. Never during those times do I even ask about him. However I do wonder if he ever thinks about me?
We were together about 2 years and had a child together. Then things started to slip and I began looking other places and taking the relationship for granted time and time again. After multiple chances she finally firmly broke up with me and I went back to my parents house with almost instant regret! I begged and pleaded for weeks until I got the hint that she was serious and needed space. A few weeks later we started hanging little by little when we would exchange our son. But things felt different, she was reserved and I knew somthing didn’t feel right. I discovered she was seeing someone else and I was heartbroken all over again! She confronted me the next day and said she does want a future with me but she was not ready. We still saw eachother for another week until I felt it wasn’t going anywhere and I had reason to believe she was still seeing the other guy! It’s already been 4-5 months since our break up and I know now Limited-contact is our best option to possibly reconcile the relationship. I’m going on day 7 and she has reached out almost every day and I’ve had to be strong because I’ve already broken NC once and felt like crap having to restart from day 0. I love her a lot and have changed so much, this no contact is not easy for either of us, but if she is rebounding then I need to stay away, work on myself, and let time do it’s thing. She breadcrumbs so hard to get me to break nc which has been a huge problem, but I want the mother of my child back and I’ll stay disciplined if it means saving our relationship! I honestly see a great future with us! Any thoughts that could help my situation??
My x pop up at one of my family members house and said hi to my aunt gave her A hug then left after 2 months of nc..I’m just sitting back watching how this no contact thing for words ☺️ it’s amazing what nc can do!!
Rory, could you in the future maybe objectively cover the topic on exes blocking / unblocking on social media after ghosting/discard without any reason. How to react when you're at the receiving end of the block, what steps are needed to maintain control of emotions and character etc plus hypothetically if after a long time (when you're in a indefinite no contact phase of life), they unblock and do breadcrumbing / indirect approach how to and when to respond in a manner where you regain back your respect and power of the situation etc.
@@TheLoveChat rory I'm new to your channel so I might have missed them. BTW it's great logical approach you have which has helped me see things from a different mature prespective comparatively than before.
Hi Rory. Thank you for your videos! You have really been helping me through this rough time. I really like your honesty and objective speech. I'm truly grateful. About no contact... I've been in no contact for almost a month. He broke up with me 1 month and a half ago. He said the cliché "I love you, but I'm not in love. It will never work out in long term". It was a 6 month relationship. I'm blocked on social media and whatsapp. Meanwhile, his parents keep posting comments on my Facebook, saying they like me, and giving me kisses... Etc. How should I react to this? Thank you!
Hey Rory! I was working at a music festival and during my break I went to the merchandise stand and every line was full except one line and I knew what I wanted to purchase. As I went to the line turns out my ex was merchandise person. I kept it it cool. I did not I repeat, I did not talk to her anything besides of what I wanted to purchase. It was unexpected of us to see each but I kept it cool and did my purchase and just left. My mind was running but I had myself really calmed. I was wondering if it was breaking no contact? Other than that, I’m doing really good with my life. Gonna start a new chapter in a university for my career.
I have been in no contact for 4 months but my issue is Facebook stalking. I can’t see her post but I can’t help but obsess over her periodic profile pic changes. We don’t belong together because it was toxic but damn I miss her as much today as I did 5 months ago when we broke up. I have no idea how you Rory got over a 10 year fiancé in 5 months. I’m always in the gym. But still come home think about her and get emotional. I date other women and I’m still thinking about her when I’m with them. It’s the most overwhelming feeling in the world I ever had to experience and I’ve had a lot of short term break ups and rebounds. But this girl I cannot seem to let go of.
keep meeting new people and you will meet someone different and quit social media because it make's us stalk them. Trust i do think of her too sometimes it's been 5 months but i seriously don't give a f about her anymore. You are worthy and important too Love yourself and Keep yourself with Work,gym, friends Have fun trust me it helps Goodluck
Éen Paard I’ve always had a rebound this is my biggest issue. I never knew what I meant to be fully alone. Hell she was my rebound we ended up together for 5 years. This s*** is hard!!!
@Bryan I am in the same situation. I went on a date and talking to other females but all I do is think about my ex and how much fun we had. We both agreed of the break up, I tried to do nc at first but she kept reaching out and saying she missed me. I tried to get her back bcuz I thought she wanted me back. So I called her one day and then she told me she didn't want to give me false hopes. I begged and plead to get her back on the 2nd month of the break up. On the 3rd month she became distant and not responding within 2-5 days of my text. Then 1 week became 2 weeks of not responding. I called her after the 2nd week no response, Couple of days later I texted her no response. I was so hurt that she was ignoring me bcoz when ever she reached out I responded back. I do look at her fb and she still have our special pictures from our vaction of us which I thought she would delete them. After awhile I was noticing every time I looked at her fb I would reopen my wound and didn't give myself time to heal. So from then on on the 4th month I said damn I see the true colors of what I thought was called love even though we broke up i thought she would be there for me or be back bcuz we had chemistry. Now I am steadily doing me and lost 35 lbs from doing 2 a days in the gym. It's hard for me to not think about her but F that I have to gain myself respect, value and love myself bcuz I couldn't eat or sleep during the last 4 months. What pushed me foward was friends and giving my love 1st to God to heal my soul and me to improve/rebuild my physical side. Everyday I still think of her but when I do I substitute it with positive memories and control what I can control. Keep grinding!
joseph velasco my ex did similar. After month one she called me and I thought we were on the path of reconciliation but we FaceTime April 7th and that was the last time I heard from her. She doesn’t have pics of us but she does have a pic of me holding my niece at her bday party back in feb. I think if it was just me and not several people involved she would have deleted it by now.
@@bryanunion5110 I know bro, but they decided to walk out the most hurtful way even though we have broken up. I know it's hard and I feel u bro, I rather have her say I love u but we have to move on and we cant be together. hell, getting yelled and saying f*** off would of work too! lol the silent treatment is one of the most hurtful feelings I ever endured bcoz I felt like someone died ya know, like my heart was crushed and someone took my soul so my mind is trying to find solutions to fix it. true or not? pictures are memories and they dont really mean they still love us. the important part to know is that they left with silence. let that be the motivation of your life to turn it around and once you can forgive yourself by hating her for what shes done then maybe one day you might forgive her, to make that it all at peace. until then, I say f my ex and it gives me fuel to be the best version of me as you will too! keep grinding!
I was so disappointed n I was about to text him then I stopped because me , reaching him out will give him the surety that I'm still here , waiting for me and he can treat me with whatsoever he wants which isn't acceptable for me and I came across this video...I m not much hopeful but as long as I'm working on myself...this is what I need now♥️
I have no desire to contact my ex GF after she broke with me, in two weeks I had the time to realize how toxic she was and therefore I do not want her back. Now, I am still dealing with the loss, but I can clearly differentiate that feeling, from actual love and growth. Maybe the only reason I want her to think about me and miss me is my ego who is talking to me about revenge. I guess that is not healthy either...?
I been in no contact for 10 months.... And in the beginning it was hard one of the hardest thing i have ever did. We were 2gether for right at 11 years... But day by day is a little better than the day b4... I'm in a good space... I saw him but i held it 2gether and kept it moving.
Only 4 weeks of no contact, 8 weeks apart total. He did unfriend me from Facebook on Day 1. I've hit the gym and lost 16lbs. Love the advice and am journaling. Question- if my ex broke up with me because his attraction for me fell and I do all this work for myself- as much as it feels rewarding to me, will it be a reward for him for breaking up with me? I'm skinnier, more confident and through stressful job transition that made me feel depressed... I'm afraid it will make him feel he can step away anytime things "get tough" in the future- thoughts?
people change things change no contact is not a manipualtion its to take time for you to heal to get moving and to lift yourself up again-if they want to speak with you they will call you respect what hey want and just know its probably for the best now-
If you respect yourself don’t and I mean do not contact them! You only reward their behaviour and they will treat you the same or worse next time around
What if my ex has low self-esteem? He has never had a long term relationship, and I believe he's protecting himself by ending the relationship before I could potentially hurt him. I'm currently in week 6 of no contact.
1 month here buddy. We broke up in April and limited until a month ago because she was taking forever to move out. I'm afraid it's been too long but others say no ..
Malik Best Miller two months is very long but afraid by the time I heal it be too late for her to come back. We been together for 20 years with four kids.
She broke up with me 2 months ago, no contact after few days of talking and then being ignored by her -> start of NC, too late but yeah (short term relationship). Its been a journey these 2 months of NC but you just got to keep working on yourself, keep yourself busy and know that you deserve someone who will want you as equally as you want them, if not even more. On 30th day of NC i got unfollowed by ex on instagram, around the end of month two (stopped counting) unfollowed on ig by sisters ex (realised that by accident). Im pretty sure these are CLEAR signs she aint thinkin about coming back, but hey, who gives a damn what they think its not about them anymore. One thing tho, I cant understand these 'unfollowings' and their weird time intervals, (she ended the relationship by saying she aint ready and she needs time). Anyway, Rory, thanks for making these videos and helping us on our path of recovery.. Until next time!
We were together for 6 yrs but this is the second time he left me again bcz he needed space and i begged the whole month of june for him not to. Worst mistake i know. But on july i told myself to let him go. I stopped reaching out and he would reach out 3 times that week of july. The last time we talked i told him why is he calling me if he left me and broke up with me cause im annoying.. now its almost a month of no contact and i miss him.. should i wait for him to contact me first right since he left me..🥺 pple say he will come back again but he got a new job and new friends and decided to cut me off out of the bloom..
Thank you for this video! My situation is where I broke up with her because of her not putting effort in/wanting to spend time together. I basically ended the relationship simply and said this isn't working. However I do want it to work but I felt walking away was important...Since I'm technically the dumper, how does no contact work in my case?
Hey Rory, still within the first 26 dys of NC..ex seems to be trying to 'move on' fast re new profile pics for validation, updating then an invisible or closed match acct, concert w gf's she supposedly had no respect for, etc, otherwise I have no idea what she's doing given the full block. As we discussed in our phone call, just wondering how effective NC works when the chick has experience w breakups and can be the type who supposedly is the "once I'm done I'm done"/ move on fast type. Ik u'll say stay indefinite NC and let her make the first move but what's the real incentive if perceived bad treatment and creating a false toxic view of me are in play and she's feeling major extended relief w a few post breakup mistakes, plus feelings have diminished given her anger a month ago. Is the silence really able to pique curiosity and create pattern interruption over several months? Also should I post any pics of me out or go the radio silence route of posting nothing aka too busy? Following and will stay the course if u think..tty, J
How about breaking it when both of you had other relationships and you bumped into each other multiple times (and had a good time) ever since the breakup? I get the idea it is for ourselves and secondly for them to miss us. But sometimes it's not life-like especially if the dumpee's full of guilt. Or they might not miss you if they can see you through social media, it gives them the illusion of still being in some kind of contact. My relationship ended because I was super-focused on rules. So at some point I start to wonder, sticking to another rule for all eternity might disappoint.
Contextually speaking: you're on a channel about recovering and reconciling from breakups. If you're watching these videos you probably still want your EX back - meaning you should probably do No Contact and self love even if that is the case! Know what I mean?
Here is a great question. I've been in NC for the past year. He (in Australia) broke it off with me (in Calif where we were both raised). I'm still in touch with his brother's wife's family one city over. She tells me that he said to her that in our "final" conversation I asked him not to call me any more. Totally not true. So, what do you do (if anything) when the ex is telling his family things that aren't true? He did ask if she has seen me lately but should I do anything at all about this? I told her he was wrong but I feel like telling him as well. I just don't want to break my NC in order to do that.
Could you talk about dismissive avoidants? My ex was one, everything was great, last time i spoke to him he was joking around and we made each other laugh. Next day he blocked me. No explanation. Nothing. It’s been 3 weeks. I understand that avoidants do this and they don’t initially miss you and even once they do their stubbornness wont let them reach out to you. I know I deserve better. I am just emotional right now. I want someone to tell me that he will fight for us. I’ve been in no contact for 20 days.
I'm used to NC now. My ex wrote to me 1 month ago but he didn't say anything relevant and didn't get back to me. NC helped me more than knowing about him again. Can you please do more about just getting over this and how to move on for good.
My GF broke up with me 3 weeks ago. Just out of the blue. She texted me that she „needs time for her own“. I didnt even get a chance to talk with her about it... i‘m on week 2 of NC and i try to spend time doing work out, sports and hang out with my friends. But i think about her 24/7. Its hard man. She unfollowed me on IG but she still check out my storys ervery time i post something. I‘m still have some stuff at her house but i dont know if i should ask her do get it
I've been married for 30 years my H left me 6 month ago. The first 3 months he came to the house everyday to walk the dogs and do repairs. Now he doesn't want to know. Is verbally abusive sometimes, so I've had to go NC. I believe he's having a midlife crisis. The change in him is unreal. I don't know what to do?
Am I considered the dumper if we stayed friends after the breakup and I decided for emotional reasons that it was no longer healthy to continue speaking? We were friends for four months before I cut things off. He’s the one that broke up with me before becoming friends
Hey Rory! when ex reached out once ( 3 months ago) I chased for 1 month and half and stopped as she didn’t initiate (she dumped me since 11 months cuz of neglecting her )…Will NoContact work again? Will they reach out again?
If I’m on the talking term with my ex again, met up once, but he didn’t say he wants to get back with me yet. He initiated the contact mostly, but sometimes i did it. Should I continue no contact and just let him initiate me first? It’s only 2 months post break up. He told me he regret leaving me, he misses me, asking if I’m seeing anyone. But he didn’t put an effort to get me back. I think he feels more relieved now 😂 I don’t know what to do.
Her sister keeps reaching out to me about random stuff... most recently asking me where to get cheap viagra for a friend of hers and mentioning how my ex told them that I had a source in New Zealand... I respond.. does that technically break NC?
I Have been in no contact for a month, my ex broke up with me on June 25th while I was away, and im not returning to my country until August 25th. Does no contact work when it was a long distance break up? And what should I do once I see her again?
Yes, No Contact does work over long distance. If you see her you should be relaxed and easy-going, almost indifferent! It's just another person, nothing special!
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Folks - no matter who you prefer to listen to for advice on RUclips - PLEASE do not do the 7/30/45/90 Day No Contact! It is very manipulative and doesn't form healthy relationships.
The Love Chat Forever means forever.
The Love Chat Rory - what’s your opinion on radio silence vs no contact pls ?
Remember they left you. So true Rory. Also it isn't easy not to communicate.
Hei i have a situation I'm on nc for the last 2 months just today she unfriend me and her mother .... what kind of people are they I didn't disturb them or anything
@@floringhioaca4529 do not respond to this type of behavior. the reasons for doing such a thing are endless, but ultimately they do not contribute value to your life. you only respond to situations that contribute value to your life
Did no contact and improved myself then she came back 8 months later. I politely declined the offer. I'm in a great space and I'm now dating someone better.
You go boy!
Jemelrah Clark very nice. For me nc for 2 months. By the time I’m heal it might be too late
May i ask how long you was with them for?
Please don't feel the needs to disclose. Ty
Cameron Hussain been together 20 years with 4 kids. She left me for a more someone that make her smile
@@plusultra5735 2 years.
Friends, please, stand in front of the mirror and say this: I love myself, I love myself, I love myself... now say this: no contact is forever no contact is forever. No contact is forever... I will contact this person, maybe, in another lifetime.
Absolutely Omar..!!!!!! a huevo, como decimos en Mexico...
Grimaldi110560 Eso es asi mi pana.
Omar Gonzalez Cruz Excellent brother!
Not true I exploded at him and no regrets
🤣🤣🥰
"When you met them you did not *need* them, you grew to need them."
Quite true. Being needy does push them away. I must try not to contact her over Christmas. I must remain absent. As hard as that is.
It's not, holidays are socially programmed in your head. It's just another day.
When I met her I did need her, my life was a mess. She got me up and running, changed my values and how I see life. Now this is the exact reason she broke up with me though. She thinks we are too different, after 1,8 years she broke up exactly 2 weeks ago.
Believe me every one of you strictly do no contact and cut every single possible contact from them, believe me they will reach out to you but also that doesn't mean you will be get back together. In the end you gonna win this. 50% chance of winning them back but 100% chance you will win yourself back. Stay strong 💪 Don't be sad. You got this 💪
Unlike many coaches You have very professional voice and perfect pronunciation.. as a foreigner I find it easy and pleasant listening to You.. the advices are appreciated too 😉
Very nice of you to say, thank you!!
Rory my man this video came out at the right time! I was debating on breaking no contact today since it's my exes birthday, but this video helped reminded me on how she tossed me to the side like trash and how much pain she put me through. I've really done alot of self improvement and have grown mentally and physically. I feel, act and walk like the best looking man in the room now. Thanks for your videos Rory, keep doing your thing!
Ryan Counts
Great for U Ryan!!! 🙌🏻✨
Self respect, Self Love is a Beautiful thing.
Congrats!!! 😁✌🏻
Ryan Counts I love this. I have to get that same mentality. Feel act and walk like I’m the best looking female in the “building” lol. This helps thank you! Btw, what did you do to get to this point.
@@whisperingwind7730 it sure is! I've read alot of books to improve myself, accomplished alot of goals. I'm closer to having a law enforcement career and preparing for a bodybuilding contest this fall. I feel like a lion walking through my jungle everyday
Did she end up complaining to you that you didn't contact her on her birthday?
I'm going in well over a year of NC and it feels pretty good. I'm seeing new people and if my ex came back - ohh well I dont want them
Awesome! Good for you!!
@T Mac would you want someone back that broke up with you? 🙅🏾♀️ I wouldn't. They are not it. If they truly wanted me they would have never broken up with me. Period.
Two months for me nc. By the time I heal it might be too late if she reaches out
@T Mac u guys do not opperate in emotions? Ual. Teach me how to be so racional!!!
Glamis Funtopia Videos thats kinda the point. To heal.
Probably 2 or 3 months into no contact. Finished therapy and my anxiety classes. I got a new job that I like, I’ve been trying new hobbies and found one that I absolutely love! AND I got my dream car!
My ex girlfriend contacted me after 27 Days. I tried to meet up with her. She refused. This was the second time she broke up with me. I told her, I was done. I went back into no contact for myself.
No contact is the best thing i have done, Physically improving getting healthier, Happier . She wished me Happy birthday then blocked me after seeing i am having a good time with friends.. Time heals you guys Just focus on yourself you will thank yourself
Trust NC, it does work on YOU! Can’t tell a success story yet, but I’ll keep you in track 👊🏻
Update?
update?
Any updates
Any updates?
Thank you. Came right on time.
I am on day 8 of NC and I am struggling so badly. I miss him soo much and the thoughts are extremely obsessive.
I begged and pleaded for a whole long month and guess what, he was dismissive, rude and lacked regard. I know reaching out does NOT work because all it had done is make me depressed, lose self respect, devalued me and I am still heartbroken and alone. Can you believe I even apologiesed for things I know I didn't do just to get him to change his mind 😔🙆🏽♀️.
Ladies and gents, please listen to Rory as he is 1 million percent right. Go straight to NC and do not sell yourself short. I regret ever begging him to come back because all I did was boost his ego even more than it already was.
Update
I bet you moved on :)
For me it’s been a year and he never contacted me or came back.. some days I’m happy some days I miss him like crazy but yeah life goes on :)) I know it’s hard but not impossible stay strong everyone and focus on your life ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Over 2 months post breakup and NC. It’s been very tough and the worst part is that I don’t feel any relief. When I wake up in the morning all this crazy thoughts come to my head and it just messes up my day. I still miss her very much but there is nothing I could do.
Please bring more topic on no contact, a lot of us are surviving from narcissist abuse. So things to up lift our spirits would be helpful. This video was good.
Rory, Thank you for the videos!
A message to my fellow NC’ers:
Like Rory said, NC is FOR YOU, not to be used as a tool to win them back. You reduce your chances of being disappointed...
acctually i do not have any problems with breaking NC, because of my stubbornness and my will power. My problem is that sometimes I have these flashbacks, that ruin my mood and day
Same with me....
There's no information about no contact for a mutual breakup. You'd be the first on RUclips. Love your channel. Thanks for all your help and amazing advice
I don’t know if this helps anyone else. But my ex goes to the same gym as me and I just stopped treating him different. I acknowledge him with the same head nod that I give anyone else in there.
Sunnydaze_and_Ruby Xx same situation, I originally ignored her but then changed that to indifference, saying hello or smiling and keeping it moving. Eventually she reached out and now we are back seeing each other but I feel more in control of the situation and still keep my options open (dating other people)
I realize this was a while ago but i am in the exact same situation. We go to the same gym, and i work there. To make it worse, we are all wearings masks so I can’t see her real facial expression when seeing me. We see each other almost every week. She smiles under the mask and waves. We broke up 4 months ago in June, and she has contacted me in some way every single month since then (including for my birthday last month). All through text tho, never in person. Last time she did it (on my birthday) i left her on read. I didn’t wanna play her game anymore. I have a coaching scheduled with rory next Tuesday. Her birthday is Wednesday. Im not sure what to do AT ALL. Hopefully he will clarify stuff for me. Hopefully me leaving her on read wasn’t a terrible idea. Sad to see 4 different reach outs since the break up and no reconciliation :/
He came back after a few months NC, but in that time I realized what I wanted for myself, and from a potential partner, and after all that reflection, I don't see myself dating him again.
Anna USF ... DOPE!
No contact is not that much scary cause if someone doesn't want you in your life understand that fact respect yourself n move on stick to NC...!!!!!
Thank you so much for your content! You have so much helpful content and I cannot wait to see where I go in the next couple of months. I’ve learned to see beauty in the pain. This being my first breakup, I didn’t know how to handle my emotions. Your words of affirmation really gave me confidence and excitement for my future! Thank you so so much!!
Victoria - thank you very much for your generosity! I very much appreciate your comment. I am glad you are finding this content useful and healing!
I see a lot of comments about how to do no contact if you have a child/children together and I'd like to give my thoughts based on my own experience. I usually contact (via text) my ex 2-3 days in advance with "Hey! I was wondering if I could pick up (child's name) at such and such time" and that's basically it, no emotion and staight to the point. ONLY contact them when you want to see or talk to your kids. Nothing else about no contact changes. DO NOT, argue about the child, DO NOT speak negatively about your ex to the child and DO NOT use the child to manipulate the situation REGARDLESS of their actions. At this point your relationship with your child is more important than the relationship you lost. Not only can you use NC to become the best version of youself, you can use it to become the best mom/dad for your child. Hope this helps and I know it's hard, and I know it hurts but you gotta be twice as strong, for you and your kids.
Thank you no contact is for ever, thanks for not telling us its for a couple of months. It ended for a reason it's time to move on. I surely don't want my ex back. It is hard to let them go but with time you will be OK. If no contact work for you to get your ex back, God bless you.
Thank you Rory, I've been so anxious but this video made me get back to focus on myself instead of stalking my ex 😅
ha! no contact for 5 months, now ex started posting Indirect post aiming at me like missing me etc...too bad I met someone new . no contact works 100% and it is for you not for your ex
You can make yourself 'the most attractive option' 💓
Day 18👌...she reached out a couple of days ago just to ask a mundane question(i guess she was checking on me) no response after I gave her a answer. I been on radio silence from social media also, now it seems shes posting more then usual...the other day shes now making her rebound relationship obviously known in the comments on the guys page where everyone can see. Maybe it's a way to make me jealous, not really sure because in the guys bio it says he single. Imma stick with no contact tho
I work with my ex and I see her everyday. 3 months and I've kept myself busy by focusing on work, going to the gym, and traveling out of town on the weekends. Heck I even started skateboarding again, which I haven't done since high school. Honestly I don't even care if she comes back or not. The fun train keeps rolling. :D
Peten The Dark Clown shred on brother
I started no contact with the view to get my ex back....but now it turned into self developing day by day.... to keep myself busy...I have started yoga which helped me to keep myself fit and get a great figure.....I took admission into a new course ....which is helping me growing academically ........ and I am feeling so positive ,happy and content.....it really worked Rory....don't know how to thank u...god bless u Rory
I did 5 months solid NC then she contacted me via text and when I replied she left me on read. Now what? I’m so annoyed
34 Days of NC,, I'm dying on the inside,, will this ever go away,,?,, it was short term,, frm March till may" I miss him soooooo much,, Rory',, Short term can be just as Devastating:: Friends,, plz help""!!!!
Hold on Pebble Stones
It’s been almost a month that he broke up with me, at the beginning I would text and call crying like 3 times, he kept telling me that he was there for me no matter what and that he wanted us to be friends. The last time I called him I told him at the end that I don’t want to talk or see him anymore, I asked him to please stop reaching out to me and he agreed. More than a week has passed and I made the mistake of sending him a video of me singing a song to his email, then send him another email with a text about compatibility (the reason that he left me) and today I had severe anxiety and called him because he was always the person I would call for help, he didn’t pickup the phone or send me a message like he used to do the first times after the breakup. I feel kind of stupid now for breaking the no contact like that, I regret it and now I have to start from 0. I’m really going to make it this time and come to this video when I feel like breaking it again. Thanks for the good videos.
How are you?
All the best
At the 30 day mark currently. Left her on read after a negative message was sent on her part. Picked up jiu jitsu and work 7 days a week. Miss her but working on my new self feels fucking good
So I've been in no contact for 2 and half months now but just last week sometime this month she calls and ask about an issue she had with her car of course I was like wtf and i laugh. But I answered in a mature manner and never text her back. Straight back into no contact. Like I know you she's seeing other people now go live your best life without me. I wish I could seen this months ago.
My ex agreed to talking and seeing each other here and there. We were talking as friends, laughing, flirting and having a good time. I was hoping that everything was going to lead to us getting back together. I then found out he was planning on moving to Another state. I asked him if it was true and he said yes. I then said that we shouldn’t see each other anymore because I didn’t want to keep my hopes up with a guy that was planning on leaving. He stayed quiet... and then I said... right? To confirm. And he said... I don’t know.
I then proceeded to say, ok that’s all I wanted to know. Have a good night. He said ok good nigh.
He hasn’t text or call since then. That was 3 days ago.
Idk what to do. I really wanted to fix things with him. He still doesnt know when exactly he might be moving.
Btw, he is my ex husband. We were married for 10 years😔
I keep telling myself, if he moves it’s because he doesn’t care and is willing to lose me. Then I should really move on
What ended up happening?
Its been two months no contact, and I can honestly say I've come out the other side. I no longer wish to get back with my ex which I never thought I would say two months ago. I'm going on dates with other women, focusing on setting up a business and working out like a champ! Everyone gets there it just takes time and you must focus on improving yourself, physically, mentality, spiritually resourcefully. Occupy your mind with other things and you'll surprise yourself with your ability to get over your ex.
My no contact is permanent my x just got married 🙄😭😞
Hi Rory, been 3 months NC he broke up with me and i admit still misses him and still love him, always on my mind and am still hurting but ur videos help my self control not reach out ....i do Yoga 2x a day , i lost 10kg in just a month... learning ukelele and playing guitar it helps me a lot ... Wish i can move on quickly but doesn't work he still pops up on my mind every minute ...i dont know how to move on in my situation ....
Hmm We've been in a relationship 3 years / 5months LDR
Queen Pita how are you doing now? Same here. I just cnt get him out of my mind no matter what i do and everyday seems getting worse.
Its been 9 month of NC, already dated someone new, but still remember her sometimes, man i do really love her even she dump me like shit, not stalking her at all since NC, unfollowed and everything, and still no sign of her coming back, im regret for my begging action that make her hate me even more back then, trying to love my new gf like i love my ex, but i cant lie to myself, i cant love her like i love my ex, it is sucks tho
Oh soo you have a rebound
3.5 weeks and she came back... nc and self improvement really works
What if I broke no contact to return her baby's belongings. I stayed calm collected and didn't bring up the past. Just " here are your things and have a good one " she was very thankful and said she was open to grab food the next time she came to my town... Which I responded thanks but I'm not interested in being just friends. The door is open have a good day....(walked)
Good on you!
My question is how to handle exchanging stuff that I want/need when you've been in NC. So. I was in NC for 6 weeks till today. I reached out only because I want my old laptop back and I figured id give her the stuff I have back. I'm way better than I was 6 weeks ago or even 6 months ago when I was with her. Exchanging stuff tomorrow. Then going back to NC. Thanks for the advice it's very helpful.
Hello John - you can break No Contact to handle business. After all, that is your stuff!
I went into no contact after my gf told me that she was having issues loving herself and that a relationship wasn't for her rn. Hoping NC was the right move, close to a month of NC💪
Any updates?
@@ralphmachado8201 I've moved on. I reached out months ago just to see if anything would happen and yeah, she didn't show much of any interest. Her loss, someone else's win.
@@Coleslaw97 that's better man keep growing yourself and at the end she will regret it someday!
@@ralphmachado8201 thanks bro, I'll do that and yeah I agree, someday she will.
GB.Ellas.left in the cold 12 of march went no contact next second.painted the house new furnutures chanched all the decoration started reading again went to the gym.no contact is for you NOT for them!
My ex fiancé left me after being together for 7 years . He proposed last year , then left me a few weeks ago (through text message) . 3 weeks no contact as of now. 🤞 I’ve been working on myself a lot and finding my individuality again . I wonder if he misses me or thinks about me or even hurts like I do..
I believe our ex’s do they do hear a song or two and it takes them back to the feeling the moments you had together they see a place and it takes them back I don’t care how stubborn you are you can’t run away from those feelings just a matter of time.
Hi Lindsey.
If he doesn’t, he will.
Stay strong and fucking awesome.
Stay silent until he reaches out.
In the meantime, let your best friend be your best friend and have your back.
Focus on YOU, you are the star of your movie.
Also, NC gets easier from 3-4 weeks on, so you have already been through the worst of it by now.
Keep on growing. 😊
//Magnus
Lindsay Espinoza He Does BELIEVE Me stay strong
Update?
My Fiancee did the same, was together for 2 years. Had some issues with my parents. I asked her to let go. Broke up with me over text.
I love her but this was a very immature behaviour. I am conflicted to what to do. I have apologised but she is saying that she has moved on. It’s been 2 month of NC after that.
Rory thanks for your guidance. You’ve nailed the behaviour of the dumpee when it comes to how i felt. I’d like you to adress breakup of a short relationship. I’ve been a victim of love bombing... future faking with a man that i quickly... quickly got attached. Maybe thought it was attachments to him but quickly realize i fell for what he put in my head. He got what he wanted and took away the attention he gave me just as quickly. Why is it so hard, why does this one hurt? And trust me i know what it is to end a 10 year relationship. But this one... a couple of weeks... Some people here may read and not really think there is an issue for such a short term relationship. But it’s been a rollercoaster of emotion. Tx in advance for any consideration!
Nc can always do again! Don’t care if he is coming back but I can always get myself back because that’s in my control! Thank you so so much Rory for the update and effort!
8:36 line hit me hard. So true
Same here 💕
Same here, it was tough not to reach out on her bday, but there's reasons for it.
@@Coleslaw97 you did right thing, you are stronger than you think, you got this man. Everything will be fine believe me 😊
@@emocentofficial3487 thank you for that! I have a coaching with Rory today so hopeful i can continue to move into the right direction.
You are awesome n so matter of fact.
I just subscribed, thank you❤
Rory, back at it again with the gold nuggets.
Love from your heartbroken soprano, from a new RUclips account this time lmao
Second day of NC - Broke up 4 days ago. First two days tried to talk "sense" to her but did have any effect so here we go. Luckily I am aware of this method from the past. Self improvement here we go again.
Thanks coach !! I believe this is your best and most compelling video.. !!!
Do you think that women can feel when you’ve moved on. Sort of like a sixth sense. I hear a lot of people say as soon as they’ve moved on is when they get a text. Thoughts ?
It happened to me
It's been nearly 2 yrs since we last spoke. He did send one text 6 months after we stop speaking and I replied very briefly. He would also randomly like a few of my posts last year. This year he sent a Facebook friend request which I deleted. I felt I am way more worth a simple friend request. NC has gotten better for me. I run into his friends and even the girl that he was seeing at the same time as me. Never during those times do I even ask about him. However I do wonder if he ever thinks about me?
We were together about 2 years and had a child together. Then things started to slip and I began looking other places and taking the relationship for granted time and time again. After multiple chances she finally firmly broke up with me and I went back to my parents house with almost instant regret! I begged and pleaded for weeks until I got the hint that she was serious and needed space. A few weeks later we started hanging little by little when we would exchange our son. But things felt different, she was reserved and I knew somthing didn’t feel right. I discovered she was seeing someone else and I was heartbroken all over again! She confronted me the next day and said she does want a future with me but she was not ready. We still saw eachother for another week until I felt it wasn’t going anywhere and I had reason to believe she was still seeing the other guy! It’s already been 4-5 months since our break up and I know now Limited-contact is our best option to possibly reconcile the relationship. I’m going on day 7 and she has reached out almost every day and I’ve had to be strong because I’ve already broken NC once and felt like crap having to restart from day 0. I love her a lot and have changed so much, this no contact is not easy for either of us, but if she is rebounding then I need to stay away, work on myself, and let time do it’s thing. She breadcrumbs so hard to get me to break nc which has been a huge problem, but I want the mother of my child back and I’ll stay disciplined if it means saving our relationship! I honestly see a great future with us! Any thoughts that could help my situation??
My x pop up at one of my family members house and said hi to my aunt gave her A hug then left after 2 months of nc..I’m just sitting back watching how this no contact thing for words ☺️ it’s amazing what nc can do!!
Rory, could you in the future maybe objectively cover the topic on exes blocking / unblocking on social media after ghosting/discard without any reason. How to react when you're at the receiving end of the block, what steps are needed to maintain control of emotions and character etc plus hypothetically if after a long time (when you're in a indefinite no contact phase of life), they unblock and do breadcrumbing / indirect approach how to and when to respond in a manner where you regain back your respect and power of the situation etc.
Hi there! I've covered blocking in previous videos, did you see them?
@@TheLoveChat rory I'm new to your channel so I might have missed them. BTW it's great logical approach you have which has helped me see things from a different mature prespective comparatively than before.
Excellent video!!!
I am so damn lost and lonely without her and am desperate to contact her. I miss her so much.
I feel you bro. Hope you’re getting better!
@@AM4ify doing better thank you, but still think of her everyday and wonder how it all went so wrong 😕
You are good mate?@@MikeJackson690
Hi Rory. Thank you for your videos! You have really been helping me through this rough time. I really like your honesty and objective speech. I'm truly grateful.
About no contact... I've been in no contact for almost a month. He broke up with me 1 month and a half ago. He said the cliché "I love you, but I'm not in love. It will never work out in long term". It was a 6 month relationship. I'm blocked on social media and whatsapp. Meanwhile, his parents keep posting comments on my Facebook, saying they like me, and giving me kisses... Etc. How should I react to this?
Thank you!
Just at the right time - day7 wobble !!!
Here. Have a like.
I see your like and raise you a heart! Thank you!
Always a pleasure. Keep up the good work
Going through NC for four months she FaceTimed me then she is ignoring me again should I go back into NC?
Yes, let her come to you!
Hey Rory! I was working at a music festival and during my break I went to the merchandise stand and every line was full except one line and I knew what I wanted to purchase. As I went to the line turns out my ex was merchandise person. I kept it it cool. I did not I repeat, I did not talk to her anything besides of what I wanted to purchase. It was unexpected of us to see each but I kept it cool and did my purchase and just left.
My mind was running but I had myself really calmed.
I was wondering if it was breaking no contact?
Other than that, I’m doing really good with my life. Gonna start a new chapter in a university for my career.
Nah - you did fine.
Rory she reached out! Said she wants to see me when se come back from her country! She told me to follow her on instagram, should I do it?
Congratulations! I wouldn't follow her instagram. If she wants to talk to you she can message you and meet up. Instagram comes later.
@@TheLoveChat since she msg me first and we spoke, is it okay for me to send her a msg to see how shes doing? Remember... shes not in USA (yet)
@@yuritheimmortalmma I guess not. Let her do the hard work now. You remain indifferent.
@@abhijitm43 Ill do that man...
What’s new? Did she came back?
I have been in no contact for 4 months but my issue is Facebook stalking. I can’t see her post but I can’t help but obsess over her periodic profile pic changes. We don’t belong together because it was toxic but damn I miss her as much today as I did 5 months ago when we broke up. I have no idea how you Rory got over a 10 year fiancé in 5 months. I’m always in the gym. But still come home think about her and get emotional. I date other women and I’m still thinking about her when I’m with them. It’s the most overwhelming feeling in the world I ever had to experience and I’ve had a lot of short term break ups and rebounds. But this girl I cannot seem to let go of.
keep meeting new people and you will meet someone different and quit social media because it make's us stalk them. Trust i do think of her too sometimes it's been 5 months but i seriously don't give a f about her anymore. You are worthy and important too Love yourself and Keep yourself with Work,gym, friends Have fun trust me it helps Goodluck
Éen Paard I’ve always had a rebound this is my biggest issue. I never knew what I meant to be fully alone. Hell she was my rebound we ended up together for 5 years. This s*** is hard!!!
@Bryan I am in the same situation. I went on a date and talking to other females but all I do is think about my ex and how much fun we had. We both agreed of the break up, I tried to do nc at first but she kept reaching out and saying she missed me. I tried to get her back bcuz I thought she wanted me back. So I called her one day and then she told me she didn't want to give me false hopes. I begged and plead to get her back on the 2nd month of the break up. On the 3rd month she became distant and not responding within 2-5 days of my text. Then 1 week became 2 weeks of not responding. I called her after the 2nd week no response, Couple of days later I texted her no response. I was so hurt that she was ignoring me bcoz when ever she reached out I responded back. I do look at her fb and she still have our special pictures from our vaction of us which I thought she would delete them. After awhile I was noticing every time I looked at her fb I would reopen my wound and didn't give myself time to heal. So from then on on the 4th month I said damn I see the true colors of what I thought was called love even though we broke up i thought she would be there for me or be back bcuz we had chemistry. Now I am steadily doing me and lost 35 lbs from doing 2 a days in the gym. It's hard for me to not think about her but F that I have to gain myself respect, value and love myself bcuz I couldn't eat or sleep during the last 4 months. What pushed me foward was friends and giving my love 1st to God to heal my soul and me to improve/rebuild my physical side. Everyday I still think of her but when I do I substitute it with positive memories and control what I can control. Keep grinding!
joseph velasco my ex did similar. After month one she called me and I thought we were on the path of reconciliation but we FaceTime April 7th and that was the last time I heard from her. She doesn’t have pics of us but she does have a pic of me holding my niece at her bday party back in feb. I think if it was just me and not several people involved she would have deleted it by now.
@@bryanunion5110 I know bro, but they decided to walk out the most hurtful way even though we have broken up. I know it's hard and I feel u bro, I rather have her say I love u but we have to move on and we cant be together. hell, getting yelled and saying f*** off would of work too! lol the silent treatment is one of the most hurtful feelings I ever endured bcoz I felt like someone died ya know, like my heart was crushed and someone took my soul so my mind is trying to find solutions to fix it. true or not? pictures are memories and they dont really mean they still love us. the important part to know is that they left with silence. let that be the motivation of your life to turn it around and once you can forgive yourself by hating her for what shes done then maybe one day you might forgive her, to make that it all at peace. until then, I say f my ex and it gives me fuel to be the best version of me as you will too!
keep grinding!
Can this no contact rule be applied to a person who has rejected me ?
Yes!
I was so disappointed n I was about to text him then I stopped because me , reaching him out will give him the surety that I'm still here , waiting for me and he can treat me with whatsoever he wants which isn't acceptable for me and I came across this video...I m not much hopeful but as long as I'm working on myself...this is what I need now♥️
I have no desire to contact my ex GF after she broke with me, in two weeks I had the time to realize how toxic she was and therefore I do not want her back. Now, I am still dealing with the loss, but I can clearly differentiate that feeling, from actual love and growth. Maybe the only reason I want her to think about me and miss me is my ego who is talking to me about revenge. I guess that is not healthy either...?
Consider a video about how to win an ex back after breaking their trust (not infidelity) and have had two breakups.
I been in no contact for 10 months.... And in the beginning it was hard one of the hardest thing i have ever did. We were 2gether for right at 11 years... But day by day is a little better than the day b4... I'm in a good space... I saw him but i held it 2gether and kept it moving.
Only 4 weeks of no contact, 8 weeks apart total. He did unfriend me from Facebook on Day 1. I've hit the gym and lost 16lbs. Love the advice and am journaling. Question- if my ex broke up with me because his attraction for me fell and I do all this work for myself- as much as it feels rewarding to me, will it be a reward for him for breaking up with me? I'm skinnier, more confident and through stressful job transition that made me feel depressed... I'm afraid it will make him feel he can step away anytime things "get tough" in the future- thoughts?
It’s still hard. 6 months later.
Great review of NC fundamentals!
people change things change no contact is not a manipualtion its to take time for you to heal to get moving and to lift yourself up again-if they want to speak with you they will call you respect what hey want and just know its probably for the best now-
If you respect yourself don’t and I mean do not contact them! You only reward their behaviour and they will treat you the same or worse next time around
N C in their stocking Merry Christmas
What if my ex has low self-esteem? He has never had a long term relationship, and I believe he's protecting himself by ending the relationship before I could potentially hurt him. I'm currently in week 6 of no contact.
Been in no contact for two months already
1 month here buddy. We broke up in April and limited until a month ago because she was taking forever to move out. I'm afraid it's been too long but others say no ..
Malik Best Miller two months is very long but afraid by the time I heal it be too late for her to come back. We been together for 20 years with four kids.
I'm sorry man, will say a prayer for you and those kids right now.
Malik Best Miller thank you.
She broke up with me 2 months ago, no contact after few days of talking and then being ignored by her -> start of NC, too late but yeah (short term relationship). Its been a journey these 2 months of NC but you just got to keep working on yourself, keep yourself busy and know that you deserve someone who will want you as equally as you want them, if not even more. On 30th day of NC i got unfollowed by ex on instagram, around the end of month two (stopped counting) unfollowed on ig by sisters ex (realised that by accident). Im pretty sure these are CLEAR signs she aint thinkin about coming back, but hey, who gives a damn what they think its not about them anymore. One thing tho, I cant understand these 'unfollowings' and their weird time intervals, (she ended the relationship by saying she aint ready and she needs time). Anyway, Rory, thanks for making these videos and helping us on our path of recovery.. Until next time!
We were together for 6 yrs but this is the second time he left me again bcz he needed space and i begged the whole month of june for him not to. Worst mistake i know. But on july i told myself to let him go. I stopped reaching out and he would reach out 3 times that week of july. The last time we talked i told him why is he calling me if he left me and broke up with me cause im annoying.. now its almost a month of no contact and i miss him.. should i wait for him to contact me first right since he left me..🥺 pple say he will come back again but he got a new job and new friends and decided to cut me off out of the bloom..
Yep! Let him come to you.
he will, i think he misses you
My ex left I feel better since she left it’s the best thank u for these videos
Thank you for this video! My situation is where I broke up with her because of her not putting effort in/wanting to spend time together. I basically ended the relationship simply and said this isn't working. However I do want it to work but I felt walking away was important...Since I'm technically the dumper, how does no contact work in my case?
Hey Rory, still within the first 26 dys of NC..ex seems to be trying to 'move on' fast re new profile pics for validation, updating then an invisible or closed match acct, concert w gf's she supposedly had no respect for, etc, otherwise I have no idea what she's doing given the full block. As we discussed in our phone call, just wondering how effective NC works when the chick has experience w breakups and can be the type who supposedly is the "once I'm done I'm done"/ move on fast type. Ik u'll say stay indefinite NC and let her make the first move but what's the real incentive if perceived bad treatment and creating a false toxic view of me are in play and she's feeling major extended relief w a few post breakup mistakes, plus feelings have diminished given her anger a month ago. Is the silence really able to pique curiosity and create pattern interruption over several months? Also should I post any pics of me out or go the radio silence route of posting nothing aka too busy? Following and will stay the course if u think..tty, J
How about breaking it when both of you had other relationships and you bumped into each other multiple times (and had a good time) ever since the breakup?
I get the idea it is for ourselves and secondly for them to miss us. But sometimes it's not life-like especially if the dumpee's full of guilt. Or they might not miss you if they can see you through social media, it gives them the illusion of still being in some kind of contact.
My relationship ended because I was super-focused on rules. So at some point I start to wonder, sticking to another rule for all eternity might disappoint.
Contextually speaking: you're on a channel about recovering and reconciling from breakups. If you're watching these videos you probably still want your EX back - meaning you should probably do No Contact and self love even if that is the case! Know what I mean?
Here is a great question. I've been in NC for the past year. He (in Australia) broke it off with me (in Calif where we were both raised). I'm still in touch with his brother's wife's family one city over. She tells me that he said to her that in our "final" conversation I asked him not to call me any more. Totally not true. So, what do you do (if anything) when the ex is telling his family things that aren't true? He did ask if she has seen me lately but should I do anything at all about this? I told her he was wrong but I feel like telling him as well. I just don't want to break my NC in order to do that.
Could you talk about dismissive avoidants? My ex was one, everything was great, last time i spoke to him he was joking around and we made each other laugh. Next day he blocked me. No explanation. Nothing. It’s been 3 weeks. I understand that avoidants do this and they don’t initially miss you and even once they do their stubbornness wont let them reach out to you. I know I deserve better. I am just emotional right now. I want someone to tell me that he will fight for us. I’ve been in no contact for 20 days.
I'm used to NC now. My ex wrote to me 1 month ago but he didn't say anything relevant and didn't get back to me. NC helped me more than knowing about him again. Can you please do more about just getting over this and how to move on for good.
My GF broke up with me 3 weeks ago. Just out of the blue. She texted me that she „needs time for her own“. I didnt even get a chance to talk with her about it... i‘m on week 2 of NC and i try to spend time doing work out, sports and hang out with my friends. But i think about her 24/7. Its hard man.
She unfollowed me on IG but she still check out my storys ervery time i post something. I‘m still have some stuff at her house but i dont know if i should ask her do get it
Same story bro. Hang in there
Will no contact work if she left me for another man? Im worried she will just move on easier if im completely out of the picture.
It can work - but I want you to consider that no contact is for you! She left you for someone else - never forget that.
I've been married for 30 years my H left me 6 month ago. The first 3 months he came to the house everyday to walk the dogs and do repairs. Now he doesn't want to know. Is verbally abusive sometimes, so I've had to go NC. I believe he's having a midlife crisis. The change in him is unreal. I don't know what to do?
How's u dear... Is he back with you...?
Are u healed, in a good position... Share ur experiences.. Will help others as well
@@PraveenSharma-lq1hf sadly no we are 14 months on now and in the divorce process. it's been just heartbreaking
Thank you thank you thank you
Am I considered the dumper if we stayed friends after the breakup and I decided for emotional reasons that it was no longer healthy to continue speaking? We were friends for four months before I cut things off. He’s the one that broke up with me before becoming friends
Hey Rory! when ex reached out once ( 3 months ago) I chased for 1 month and half and stopped as she didn’t initiate (she dumped me since 11 months cuz of neglecting her )…Will NoContact work again? Will they reach out again?
No Contact is based on your healing, so yes! It works as many times as you need it to. They might reach out.
I'm on day 23 of NC, but I can't stop stalking him on the media...what can I do?😭
Stop stalking your ex🙏Repeat daily in your mind!!
If I’m on the talking term with my ex again, met up once, but he didn’t say he wants to get back with me yet. He initiated the contact mostly, but sometimes i did it. Should I continue no contact and just let him initiate me first?
It’s only 2 months post break up. He told me he regret leaving me, he misses me, asking if I’m seeing anyone. But he didn’t put an effort to get me back. I think he feels more relieved now 😂 I don’t know what to do.
Her sister keeps reaching out to me about random stuff... most recently asking me where to get cheap viagra for a friend of hers and mentioning how my ex told them that I had a source in New Zealand... I respond.. does that technically break NC?
If it isn't messaging your EX - you're fine!
I Have been in no contact for a month, my ex broke up with me on June 25th while I was away, and im not returning to my country until August 25th. Does no contact work when it was a long distance break up? And what should I do once I see her again?
Yes, No Contact does work over long distance. If you see her you should be relaxed and easy-going, almost indifferent! It's just another person, nothing special!