I'm a success story! Without your videos, I would have relapsed (contacted) without blinking. I have my ex back and our bond is stronger than ever. Thank you a million times Rory!
Basically move on. Don’t contact them ever again. Especially if they left you. They can feel when you’re moving on for some reason. So take them off the pedistool and move on and better your self. Improve your self for you not them. Then you will find someone better. Let them chase you. It’s up to you to take them back not them. It turns tables but at the same time you aren’t supposed to expect them back. That’s when it works when you no longer care.
José Vieira yup if someone’s leaves you then you have no choice mine left me back in April it was hard and still is but fuck it life goes on no contact
@@Cfresh84 , mine dumped me 6 weeks ago ( almost 9 years together) and was talking to another guy before the breakup. Meanwhile, shes in a very hidden rebound. I found out myself, she never told me and lied all the time. I really dont care anymore
When does it really work? When you stop watching these videos & and truly focus on your purpose. Why am I here? She broke no contact after I've gave my attention to my life.
Spookie so true "When does it really work? When you stop watching these videos & and truly focus on your purpose". When I watch these videos I realize I am hindering my own healing. True contact is when I finally stop watching these videos.
No contact works when you least expect it, because you're to focused on bettering yourself and finding the real you. Don't think about it and they'll call, it'll happen and if it doesn't just remember the sky won't fall. Just keep following the advice Rory's giving and focus on yourself.
It’s okay I’m about 5 months in and I still get moments where I’m sad and think about him but the time spent is a lot less and I recover a lot faster!! I no longer dwell for hours like I used to. Time heals!!! It’s cliche but it’s true. Self love should be intentional. Love yourself because you’re all you have left! I’m here for you you’re not alone ❤️
Took him down from the pedestal n kept it moving. Never looked back. No Contact is best. Changed my number block him in all social media n moved on. Never again will i go back.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I completely agree with the statement where my ex has no control over me and vice versa. Never wait for someone who has broken up with you and never devalue yourself. I’ve always had self esteem issue due to my ex as I kept on devaluing myself but now I said hey I can do this and I’m doing so much without her. Even if the likelihood of her coming back increases due to NC, I’m a change person with or without her. Valuable video Love Chat
Bryan Lim Absence only makes the heart grow fonder in a relationship that is working... The heart has to be fond. When you’re dumped it doesn’t apply... They’re finished. They’re done and relieved for the deed to finally be done. It’s only the Fading Effect Bias to start working.
I'm in about 2 months no contact. My ex hasn't reached out yet. But She has been liking my IG Pics and has been stocking all of my stories on my Socials. But like you've said this doesn't mean anything. And I am going to keep working on myself until they reach out in an actual tangible way. I am also not liking there photos and I am not viewing there stories just like you told me coach. Thank you Rory!
Agnese De Luca Sorry for the late response I just saw this. Rory knows what he’s talking about!!! I followed all of his steps. We ended up getting back together and now we have an apartment together. Keep working on yourself and keep pushing to be a better well rounded individual. Make sure to post cool photos on your social media and show them what they are missing out on. There is a really good chance they will come back. Just keep watching Rorys Videos if you need a guide and follow everything he says. I am living proof of it. Rory you the Man!!! Unfortunately COVID kind of messed up a lot of things due to being stuck together 24/7 all of the time and not having any space. So for right now we are taking some space and I’m staying at my sisters house for a little while. I re started the process of no contact and giving her the space she needs and pushing myself at the gym etc. Essentially pushing myself to build her attraction back up. She called me and told me she misses me and wants to see me. What I have came to realize is relationships are a constant back and fourth with women. They are like cats you spend to much time together they get bored and over it. But when they push away listen to Rory and do not chase back off and give them the space they want and they come right back. So basically what I’m trying to say is Coach Rory is 100 percent on point he knows what he’s talking about. Just trust the process, and remember that relationship are something you have to constantly work on. Like I said I’m going through it right now. But I realize a lot of peoples relationships really got jacked up due to this lockdown. Good luck man!!! I continue to watch the Love Chat to help me through when issues like I’m having come up. Amazing Chanel this guy deserves 100 Million subscribers he’s doing God’s work!!!!
@@Extravaganttastee actually I recently started no contact rule he broke up with me but I chased him so many times but I realized that I did wrong I should’ve give him his space and time but now am doing no contact rule and I believe that he will come back on the right time!!
It starts working immediately, depending on how you handle the breakup and how you were as a partner. If you were a good partner, and then handled it right " I dont agree, but let me know if you change your mind" , they dont expect that answer. It opens their eyes. It works.
@A You're right. But not to get them back.. because you likely won't get them back regardless what you do. It's a matter of self respect and showing them your boundaries. That includes knowing that you only accept a relationship where both people are invested.
I want to add something here. Even if they don't reach out, or they do on bad terms (maybe trying to friendzone you, or while dating other people or rebounding), no contact will help you to heal and as consequence of that healing you will have a better life.
Thank you Rory, your videos help me go through the breakup. im talking to my ex again after nc but right now im even not sure if i still want her back. She wants to text with me everyday but im not even eager to reply her texts anymore. It feels so good knowing that i dont need her anymore. im happy with myself. Ive learned from the breakup and im grateful.
*No contact works .. when you yourself start working . Then you work more on yourself and for yourself. The progress starts to show . Then your ex starts to notice you as well , but then you start to forget them*
No contact for 3 months, she came back and we were happy for 2 months and then we broke up again because the issue was still there. Sometimes it’s better when it takes longer.
No contact for 4 months, then he came back and we were happy together for 10 months and then we broke up again.. Perhaps after got him back i stopped working on myself that's why he left me again.. Man, this pain is still new..
When you decide to put your ex aside and start working on yourself, you begin to want to improve yourself more and more while the thought of your ex starts to go to the back of your mind and that's the way, you have to be in a position where you don't care anymore and that's when you can do things the right way if they come back
She said to me that, I am unable to develop feelings for you and I don't want to give you any false hopes, so I am ending our communication here, wish you all the best. My reply was a concise, 'thanks and all the best'. I did not text or call since 40 days and I have no intention of doing so unless I am reached out to.
There is no Formula for getting anyone back. But reality check is, that many people take good souls for granted. Good souls need to learn to set boundaries and such boundaries might get violated by the person we are with or been with. Lack of empathy and emotional intelligence is one reason and another one is halfway a mental disorder or other unhealthy ways of dealing with conflicts. Some just never learned how to deal with critical comments or communication that doesn't go their way, so they call it stress or drama. It's sad when we must cutt off contact for a certain amount of time to let them feel the break up instead of talking things out. Too many selfish, too proud/full of ego people..use others in relationships and can't handle a conversation after the mess...so they jump into quitting. When they don't hear from you , they mind realize things or not...some will create any type of self talk and convince themselves to not contact you again, because they fear changes and confrontations. So if they ever contact you back, take your time to answer..or do not answer in case you're over it. Such people awake anxiety in others, their ping pong behavior is like a dead zone.
I'm doing my workout (The Body Coach) and I got a notification from Sir Rory and here I am..😁😁😁 Thank you Sir Rory ☺ I've been doing great improvement from my body and mental condition(anxiety) thanks to you! 😁
Thank you Rory for another great vid!. I think no contact is a natural process which is required after being kicked to the kerb. In this time it allows a person to emotionally detatch, gather themselves and rebuild self esteem etc. I'm not suggesting it's easy as Ive struggled through it myself but hard work is hard work, so it's worth sticking with it. The results will come, it's just a matter of time.
I said something similar I told her “ I spent to much time seeing you as a lover that I can’t be your friend , if you don’t want a relationship with me than it’s okay I will walk away “ it’s been 3 weeks now no contact I’m fine tho this isn’t my 1st rodeo
3:58-5:08 hahaha😂😂😂😂😂😂, I could not stop chuckling Rory! I absolutely love this part of the video. Wish I had seen this video prior to my breakup. But it's ok. It's funny...hahahaha LMFAO!!!
Thank you for these videos! They really help, I know it's been several months since my breakup and I need during no contact, but for some weird weird reason this time of year is always difficult to think about the breakup. And I find it hilarious, that every time I click on your video, that I get the commercial for there's three words that you can say that every guy will make you fall for him no matter what... LOL
i’ve broken no contact 4 times, this last time he replied but it was a rejection to hang out. i’m surprised he even responded but no more! starting this new year with not contacting him anymore and working on myself! wish me luck!!!
Don't never ever chase after you begin dumped, you are boosting their ego and give them a reason to keep rejecting you, walk away and mean it, and apply zero contact it's so effective but a bit tough at the same time.. By applying this you grow and become stronger..
My ex reached out to me today!!! She broke up with me little over 3 months ago. We've spoken on and off due to Bills and business matters. I usually text her notifying when I've sent her a payment. This time I just made the payment with out texting her. And of course she calls. We played phone tag that day and she left it alone. A week later which was today...she called and I picked up. She called to see how I was doing. I let her do most the talking and she carried the conversation. At the end she thanked me for my payment and said that we would talk again later. This was the best conversation we've had in almost 4 months. No tension at all. I've went complete no contact for the last two weeks. No contact is your best chance at bettering yourself and getting your ex to reach out. Thanks Rory you really know your stuff. Also thank you to everyone and their positive comments in the comment section...that gave me hope. If you have a success story definitely pay it forward by dropping it in the comments it really helps. No matter what happens with me and her I know life is going to be better.
@@TheLoveChat Hey just wanna say your videos are greatly appreciated and i find them extremely helpful 😊 Question.. What do you think of deactivating your social media where they still have you on, of course not blocking but they'd know when other people searched for you and your accounts wouldn't show up. Good/bad idea?
Please make a video on how to bounce back after breaking no contact several times and how to get oneself back after making mistakes that you clearly said not to do.
I broke no contact like 7 times begging and begging. After a full month of that. I finally haven’t reach out out once and low key feel like my emotions have completely normalized. I have no urges anymore to reach out.
@@RenskeLogie moral of the story. Ignore the fuck out of them. You will do nothing but push them away and hate yourself for a long time for behaving irrationally.
Guys no contact is for you not for them, and it's work for them as well, but you need to have the power to be able to walk away and mean it when they push you away , you need to have the power to let someone go..
thats one thing i didn't do was leave the door open for him. He walked out of my life well then the door will be locked and closed on him for good. No point in saying if you change your mind give me call...thats tell them im waiting for you still... no i say Close the door on them and lock it for good.
Rory, can you please make a video on how to move on from your first love! I’m 28 and my ex-gf for 5 years left me and moved away with a different guy after 1 day of our breakup. I know that there is a lot of fish in the sea, I’m dating, i have a really good job and I’m progressing in it, i have my own business and it’s booming, i go to the gym everyday. I’m doing everything, but it really hurts all the time and I cannot stop thinking about her. I just need a motivation talk from you❤️ thank you so much, your videos is one of the best!
shav12 I’m doing much better now, not perfect but a lot better. Trust me, time does heal. But you got to do the work and don’t get stuck in one position in your mind. NC, stop stalking and mute every social account they have. It’s like an addiction and it will fade away gradually. My advice is try to engage in any activity that requires mental focus. It will be hard at first, but with time you will get better.
No contact didn’t work for me. My ex never contacted me again. I don’t know know caused blocked him from everywhere, but he knows where I live and my social media. Well, we ran to each other at a bar and he went to say hi to me. I knew he was exploring out there dating other people. Almost two years after the breakup and this person I has never contacted me.
Great video but tread lightly. I was broken up 11 months ago. I went no contact immediately. He orbited me three times with future faking and telling me what I wanted to hear to fool me into believing there was hope. After he got sex a week or two later he ghosted me. It was like getting broken up with all over and the count started all over. It sucked!!! I have since told him that this game is over and to never contact me again. That he was a liar and a user. The man I once knew, died and he was a stranger I no longer want to know. I’ve blocked him every way I can. I can’t let this happen again where I believe he is sincere and it’s a game to toy with me. Be careful with what they tell you when they reach out. It’s not always sincere.
TeeJae84 I didn’t just hop into the sack but obviously, I handled it all wrong and should have waited to have sex until I knew his true intentions. Trust me, I felt like a total fool! I can’t change it, I can only change today and work on myself and my healing. Lesson learned the hard way.
I feel dying the time she broke up with me, I got diagnosed Tb and pneumonia and I stopped going to school to recover (senior high), For all that time she was the only one I was Talking with day to night since I was in bed all day being weak. It really hits me when she said just think of her as d best thing that I gained this year since I was forced to stop school so when the time she broke up with me after 2 months, I felt dying. Where everything hurts. Where u have a lot nightmares about her at 3 am and just accepted the break up like my Disease. Feels like its so much to handle back then. Anyways just sharing this lol
What if he dumped me for another ex. I didn't even know it was happening. No contact which I didn't expect anyhow. Nothing. Loved your wise advice. I wouldn't even try to contact him I'm to hurt. Thanks.
I blocked my husband from my social media sites and changed my number. My husband is cheating with another woman and flying back and forth to meet her in Chicago. BTW, she’s been paying for his flights. I love my husband and refuse to tolerate with the lies and cheating! I’m moving within 2 weeks and he won’t have any information about my new location! My husband emailed me, and I did not reply back. He’s still lied about the trip! The other woman is constantly posting about her and my husband! I’m healing and I love me more!
My ex hugged me and kissed me as we broke up. She said she was sorry for everything. I didnt disagree with her when she told me she was toxic. I let her have the breakup. And I regretted it almost immediately. I've been in no contact over a month and wish she would come back. She views all my insta stories even though I don't watch hers so I know she thinks about me. I'm holding on to hope but I feel so conflicted about everything and I think about her all the time.
Hello - I'm helping a very young client with a breakup and have a question I can't seem to answer. She reached out to him after a fairly peaceful breakup (she told him she didn't want it but then wished him well and said goodbye). She sees him every day at school and it was awkward. She wanted to clear the air and be "friends" as he had indicated he would like that & because the tension was stressful to her. She apologized for ignoring him and he told her "I want to let you know that I'm not seeing [the rebound] anymore." (This rebound lasted maybe 10 days). She said okay and was happy they could be friends and that was it. Why would he tell her this? She didn't ask for clarification on his intentions. I'm advising her not to go looking for this answer now and to initiate some better no-contact. But it's eating her up thinking he told her because he wants her back but was testing the waters. What is your professional opinion?
Hi there. Friends isn't the way to go - she doesn't actually want friendship. She wants to stick around and hope he'll reconsider her and that will drive her anxiety up big time. It isn't important why he told her that - we can't know as it is mind reading.
Rory! As usual a great video! Can u explore NARCISSISM? I can’t believe I didn’t know about it until now- my ex is one and now she wants to monkeybranch back to me (while she’s still with someone else). She wanted to be ‘friends’ at the outset and I told her I AM NOT PERSUING HER- even tho she tries to spin it like I want HER back. Crazy shit- can u help an unsuspecting guy like me and everyone else who deals with narcissists-
It’s easy to identify someone’s a narcissist but unless they’ve met a number of criteria’s I wouldn’t classify them as such. Trust me you will know because I have been there and still pushing through. It’s definitely not a regular break from a healthy person. It’s the trauma bond that must be broken and this is only done by what Rory and DG speaks about which is No contact. It’s truly for you (us). It’s a time of self reflection, a time to rebuild boundaries, regain your personality strength mentality physically and emotionally
@Steven Pavia.. Clear your mind of the fog because that’s what it sounds like you are in right now. They tend to project their insecurities on to us by gaslighting,devaluing, discarding, then hovering.. This is a repeated cycle of abuse until you go and stay no contact
Try to talk about covert narcissist, you know , love bombing , mirroring , slight lack of empathy but intense love bombing and eventually monkey branching / ice cold / heartless discard
My ex left me 2 years ago, i was the beggar and absolutely broken the typical phase! This time im just like ok, give me a call when you change your mind, you have the whole universe for space & we dont need to work on our friendship. i dont want that, i want an intimate & sensual relationship. We've been together for 8 years.... And walked away. I gave her ALL her stuff back right away & went immediately into no contact going on 1 month since she left this time and I'm way less stressed, see our children everyday, working out,improving myself and career. When I see her I say nothing unless she engages or its about our children. She is absolutely destroyed this time and i can tell by the look on her face & body language. I wish her the best but until she desolves her desires to run away from her personal problems, characteristics and improves herself. I dont want her back.
I got my ex back after 6 months of NC. We were long distance and she was in town. Then were back together for about 6 months and then she dumped me again. This was a few years ago. I don't think I would take back someone that dumped me again.
We broke up 10 months ago. In NC for more than 9 months.. I was doing fine, traveling, working, making new friends and dating awesome people.. I still think of him everyday but it’s usually just a thought of him. However, last night I started thinking of him and got back to point 1. I started missing him so much and crying that I can’t have him and etc.... we only dated for 5months and it’s been 10 months now since the breakup. No peep for 9 months
@@JazzaLv99 wow. That's a long time though . Maybe in your own case it might take a year for him to reach out or not. But if you feel like it's time for you to move on you should cuz you deserve the best. It's up 2 you. He doesn't know what he has lost
WJ Thanks a lot!! I’ve come to realize lately that I deserve someone much better... I’ve lost all hope of us getting back together and I think I’m ready to move on. I still care about him and wish him happiness but it’s time to care about me too... I’m focusing on university and work and I’ve been doing a lot of traveling... I’m gonna find someone who deserves me 😊
Look at her through the prism of a new girl you will meet or already met. Yes, this has to be a girl of quality, not an average one. Yes, it will take time and some pick-up skills and you probably need to live in a big city. But when you look at her in a state without options, you'll choose her anyways. This is not a fair competition. All you need is to have some patience and some pick-up skills and you'll be fine soon.
No contact won't work for my ex. She got engaged 2 months after she broke up with me. It's hard to move on as she was my first love but I'm trying my best
@@hgzmatt actually I found out a month after I made this post she got engaged roughly 3 weeks after our break up. Saying that since I wrote the last comment I've seen a doctor for antidepressant medication, done 1 therapy session (my second one coming up), walking average 50km a week and started seeing someone new. I've already came to terms that I dodged a bullet and that my ex is a toxic piece of work, the other guy can have her
@@aessilverfang8003 Happy to hear that :) I've picked up running again.. photography and hiking. Got my drive at work back. Keeping busy does help. Still have moments where I think of her but I'm much more emotionally stable. I'm so glad I can enjoy life again and not be stuck in misery forever. I'm not going to demonize my ex because I know she's struggling too, but if that's how you feel about yours I can understand.
@@hgzmatt my ex never really loved me, only used me, cheated and thrown me away like trash. She never wanted to commit to our relationship but jumps into a big commitment after 3 weeks of our break up. Don't get me wrong I do miss her but I have come to terms that I only fell in love with a mask and the person I fell in love with doesn't really exist. I think that what the hard part, human beings can't discard emotions and stop loving something they came to love. I'm always gonna have love for my ex (she was my first relationship) but I'm in love with the mask my ex put on during our relationship.
@@aessilverfang8003 I'm sorry.. But at the very least you have clarity and you can focus on moving on. You don't have to be stuck in limbo. You can be sure that she will regret all that at some point. But you'll be so far ahead of her.
My ex broke up with me but I initiated it because I felt like I wasn’t being understood. We got in an argument and he said “I’m done”. I cried, begged, and said I didn’t want to break up I just felt misunderstood and wanted to talk. I cried and said “Okay, if thats what you choose, I understand”. He cried, I cried. I smiled and reassured him that I understood we were different and that I loved him. He drove away and that was that. Almost a full month ago. Him and I went to the same gym and he now comes at the time I do… It feels weird because I know he hated working out late. Everyone’s saying he’s trying to run into me but I don’t feel thats the case. I hope he’s doing well.. It sucks having to avoid someone you really loved.
Does no contact work if she broke up with you because you were the opposite of needy and clingy? I was quite emotionally distant for a month or so and wouldn't see her every time she wanted to see me. I messaged her twice in seven days after the break up but nothing for almost a month.
I don't know what Rory will say, but this is the situation I was in. He broke up with me because I'm distant and avoidant, and he felt unappreciated and hurt by my behavior. Completely my fault. I tried to work it out for the first month to no avail, then went into no contact for the next 5 weeks. He kept watching all my SM stories so I risked it and reached out to ask how he has been. He was receptive but the ball was in his court still, so if he didn't suggest meeting, I was ready to say goodbye, go back to NC and move on. After a couple of days of texting, I told him I'm glad he's doing well, and I guess I'll see him around. It was meant to be my last message, but he replied suggesting we meet for coffee. I don't know if he could sense that I was moving on, or he would have asked anyway, but it's probably worth mentioning because it's possible he could tell that was my goodbye. So that's how it worked for me. Tomorrow I'll find out if it's a success story.
@@Mezaph Thanks for the reply. It's a difficult one because alot of these videos seem to revolve about the dumpees being the needy ones so hopefully we'll see something different in the future. If you want to try and make things work, I have my fingers crossed for you! If not, I hope it brings clarity. 😊
@@Mezaph That's great that you guys are meeting up. Good luck on your meeting. Dont bring up the break up or or bring up getting back together. Stay cool,positive and most of all have fun. You got this.
@@harrisonwalton thanks! Update, it went amazing. He said we should see each other again soon. I treated it like a first date, but with inside jokes and familiarity. Had a long hug goodbye and could tell he didn't want to leave at the end, but he had plans. Texted him afterwards to say it was nice and he should come visit the dog when he gets a chance. He said he will. So there you have it. The break-up was my fault, I really did take him for granted. Some good solid no contact, I reached out, and it looks like things will work out. Hope this helps with your situation. Good luck!
When you love someone and it goes to waste. Getting better but there are days where I wonder, "We couldn't get past through this!? She must have really loved me😅".
My ex keep coming to the place I work and she’s a member of the gym and keep asking me how I am and about me and even giving her short answer and trying to ignore her, she still smile at me all the time. And 2 days ago she asked if I wanna go to spend New Years at the same place she’s going, but like, casual. What do I do?
Hey Rory, how does your ex finding out that you went on a dating app show them that you never let go of the control in the 1st place? Was kinda confused by that bit. My ex and I met on a dating app, and we both never deleted them, so I've been periodically using mine again.
I think he misspoke. I think he meant to say "never went on a dating app." If you're not dating because you're waiting, then you're still giving them all of the control
We’ve been in a 7yrs rs. She brokeup with me almost a month ago. While i’m doing no-contact my ex removed our couple photos on her instagram. Does it means i have no chance of getting her back anymore? Someone pls enlighten me 😐
My ex and I broke up a couple of weeks ago and I begged for about 2 days than dipped. She saw me go to the gym with another girl a couple days ago. She’s been acting really happy and went to a party with one of her new friends and would not stop talking about me being “all over this new girl” and that she researched who it was and all that at the party she went to. My friend was also at that party and told me how happy she was trying to be but how jealous she was acting towards me hanging with this girl. Any thoughts?
there are times you may have to break contact dealing with important issue outside past relationship. Only speak of and focus on the situation NOT the past relationship dont even bring it up or ask how their doing. Be completely detached as if you were never in a relationship with them. Show no irritation or rude behaviour only a transaction is all. Then start no contact.
Hi all. Just wondering if anyone can help me. I was no contact for 32 days. I broke it and he said he missed me and had been thinking of me...... I messed up and fell back into my habit of initiating contact. I wanted him to know how happy I was and how I’ve moved on and how amazing life is. Now he’s back ignoring me...... I’m back in no contact. Can I salvage this????
I need your help Rory! So me and my ex broke up friday, 2 weeks ago. This left me disheartened. I pleaded with her, begged and all of that and she wasn't having it. She wanted us to be friends, so i thought the friends idea would be a great opportunity for me to show her that I've changed. It wasn't working and i began pleading again the next Thursday after we broke up. She told her that i continue to hurt her. So i told her that i won't talk to her ever again because i don't wanna hurt her again. It's been a week now of no contact and my friend told me, she archived me, muted me for a year and muted my statuses. Her birthday is Monday and i will continue the no contact and grow. Am i going on the right path? Will i get her back if i continue like this?
AgivnoFox - Do not contact her on her birthday! Give her the gift of wondering why she has not heard from you. She has caused you great anxiety, now let HER feel some anxiety. Right now, she is feeling relieved and she is likely not ready to talk to you - she needs time and space away from you. Listen to Rory's videos on the stages the "dumper" goes through during No Contact. Also, listen to his videos on how and what you should be doing during No Contact. No contact means that you do not contact her AT ALL - for any reason! She broke up with you, she said that she doesn't want you in her life. You must wait for her to contact you - that may take weeks, or it may take months, and it may be never. If someone tells you to go away, you cannot keep knocking on the door, asking to be let in. Vow to use the coming months to become a better you. She may never want to come back, but going No Contact and using the time to improve yourself will (over time) increase your odds and give you the best chance of that happening. You cannot change in a week or two, AvignoFox - it takes time. And she will CERTAINLY not believe that you have "changed" in such a short period of time, so telling her that is a waste of time. Right now, your separation anxiety is telling your brain that you MUST convince her right now that you have changed or you will lose her forever. Not true! Don't listen to your anxiety - it will lead you to do something foolish and you will ruin ANY chance you may have of ever getting her back. Personal growth cannot happen that quickly and she knows that, so step back, accept that reality, and get to work on yourself. If you have the chance to meet up with her sometime in the future and you have made great personal progress, you will not have to tell her you have changed. She will notice it immediately, and that will have an impact!! P.S. I am in the same position you are; my girl left me 7 months ago and I made the mistakes of begging/pleading at first. I last heard from her 5 months ago when I sent her a pleading text and she responded that she had met someone new. I then found RUclips channels like this one and learned about "No Contact" and personal growth. I have made great personal strides and I believe I am ready IF she ever does reach out again (but she may not). Though I am not yet ready to date someone new, other women see my value and are making their interest known to me. I can see that the opportunity for companionship with others is there for me when I am emotionally ready to step out again, and that is helping me slowly let go of the idea that "she" is the only woman for me. You will get there too. It is a marathon, not a sprint, so pace yourself.
You know exactly when no contact worked for me? When i agonized for 4 months over this guy who left me. He told me countless times I was the most amazing person he’s ever met-he even said that when he broke up with me- he told me he couldnt wait to live with me, he was proud to call me his girl, he’d send me the longest paragraphs about how much he loved me and how much i meant to him. I spent 4 months agonizing over this and analyzing. I kept asking “did he really mean any of that shit??” with nothing but silence from him. And then one day it just clicked for me. If he can walk away knowing how much he hurt me and just stay silent the whole time, if he can go on social media and boast about how great his life is, then he doesnt care. They dont care. Thats why they dont reach out, and once you realize this it gets easier. I hope he never tries to contact me again honestly, i dont care about someone who doesn’t care about me.
I had similiar situation. One day I woke up and it just clicked in my head that my ex doesn't care and it is over. It was a super weird feeling to realize that, I can't really describe that moment lol. But since that , every day it gets easier and better like you said.
I'm still at my early stages of recovering..I was told all sorts of things as well but actions spoke louder than words. He didn't respect me enough to even break up with me he just ghosted after two years.
Ghada Elarbash actions always speak louder than words, exactly. Im very sorry this happened to you. Its perfectly ok to still hold onto that hope that they come back but i hope you realize you are meant for something and someone better. Someone who truly knows you and can see how beautiful your soul is would never want to leave you or hurt you. My heart hurts for you honestly. Ghosting is so cowardly. I hope you can heal from this soon queen ❤️
It hurts to know that they don’t care because I cared a lot, gave my all and didn’t do anything wrong. The only thing I did “wrong” was using love as an excuse to stay with someone who didn’t treat me right, who didn’t love me and who didn’t respect me. I’m focusing on myself and giving myself that love I never gave myself in the first place. It takes loss to really realize this. Thank you I’m going to keep this in mind
Hey Rory, great video as always! Got a personal question: did you fall into these initial mistakes (ie begging/pleading etc) and what was the best tool you had while going through your break up, since you weren’t as fortunate as us to have you
Hi Matt! Honestly? I begged for about two days and then was feeling a bit digusted with myself. I pulled myself out of the hole with a reminding myself I am better than this! "If I can't have her - I CAN have my dignity." The rest was willpower - though counseling helped!
Can you suggest how to get rid of him? My feeling has changed and he doesn't seem understand it well. There are 7.5 billions in this world, supposed the amount of men 3.5 billions, I don't see why I should take him back but if he wants me back, it shows how defective he is. If he could kill all 3.5 billions of men in this world, then I might think about taking him back.
Looking for the communities input..8 yr relationship ended with and engagement then she shortly broke up and I recently found out I was Monkey branched. Been in no contact for a year. She's already in a live relationship. Monday I was shocked to walk into my gym to see she became a member again.. we didn't speak, because there wasn't an opportunity to. Question...do I move gyms? There is growth in both options...stay at the gym and be strong or leave for another....what to do...
I did some pleading the first 5 minutes she dumped me after that i only contacted her 2 days later to tell her she's a monster because she betrayed me for someone else (i have no legitimate 100% proof of that) and i told her i'll no longer bother her and gave her one last gift which is a drawing of her she asked me to do a few month earlier. Now in no contact sometimes i see her playing the same game as me and making her player character stand near where my character is standing. One day i was flirting with a random girl in the game she appeared near me didnt say anything just stood near me. Today i was sitting in my usual spot and i saw her appear and "flirt" with the guy i suspected her have betrayed me with. I just stood still for 5 min and then i looged out. Why is she doing this? does she enjhoy hurting me?
I once did a painting for an ex who hurt me badly. It hadn't been signed, but when we broke up, I signed that painting with a fat red sharpie across the entire front of the painting. I felt awful about what I had done to defame my art, but I felt like since we had a deal and I had done that for him, then the least I could do was sign it before everything ended.
Before I started no contact I kind of gave her a reassurance that she can comeback in d future after breaking up with me d past month kind of f*ck up for doing dat im kind if doubting if no contact will work in that situation.. Help
What if you did all the stupid begging and pleading for about 2 months 😬 she is now in a relationship with a 23yr old, she is 39 with 3 kids, I have been in no contact now for just over 2 months, it's not until you come out of a relationship that you can see the things you were doing wrong in it like taking things for granted, I don't know whether i should send her a message apologising for how I massively lost my shit after she broke up with me, I was messed up then, still am a bit now, or should i just stay in no contact?
@@garethg4229 I don't think it will last with the 23yr old but who knows, yeah I'm not going to contact her, it's tough not to be tempted sometimes but I know I'll regret it if I do, just got to concentrate on #1 for now I guess.
why did my ex -wife agree to have SOP with me, even though she said she doesn't love me anymore. and we both enjoyed afterwards. what does this mean? she still luv me?
My ex left me in my worst it hurts bad but I would never take her back in my best she hurt me and she hurt herself worse when she realizes her mistake and that my friend is when karma will ring her doorbell and haunt her the rest of her life like I told her that’s your choice now lie with it !
I guess I don’t understand what to do when my ex reaches out while I’m in NC. He wants to talk and has been pushing to meet up with me, which I have declined. Recently I said I would maybe be open to meeting him so he asked about a certain day and I again said maybe. He never reached out when that day came (just a couple days later) and I certainly didn’t reach out to him. The following day he texted with an excuse about work and he wants to talk again soon. Why is he pushing to see me then just blowing me off? What do I do in this circumstance? I haven’t responded to his apology text, but I don’t know what to do.
hello sir, i've made no contact and radio silence for 12 days today she posts on her facebook about my fault, my bad and she is happy when without me so what should I do?
We were together 7.5 years and engaged owned a place together and had dogs. He broke up with me, saying that he couldnt make me happy and that we need to focus on ourselves..he told me he wants me im his life and wants to be friends and that he loves and cares about me. Our relationship was great i thought, untill the last year of it when i found out he had been talking to an ex girlfriend whom he still has feelings for but she is in a relationship and expecting. I think shes what confused him about our relationship. I moved 9 hours awat. We were still communicating through text because i was so emotionally unstable. I decided to try no contact 3 days ago and he has texted me asking how the dogs are...should i reply? He hasnt changed his status on FB yet and we have been broken up for about 3 months but apart for just over 1 month. Do you think our relationship has more of a chance being that we were engaged and all that?
The author is one of the few here who doesn't sell lies and false hopes and I really like the way you reason. I think it is also useful to follow Jordan Peterson's advice on life, which is to clean up your room and tell the truth. Your EX is not perfect, probably has a lot of bad qualities that added to your break up. Tell yourself the TRUTH about them and imagine telling this to them. What if they reach out and you write to them the TRUTH in response, something like "I always wanted for myself a stubborn/unforgiving/selfish/low self-esteem/ok when partner suffers etc. girlfriend/wife/partner". Do you really want such a person as your partner? Tell yourself the truth if you just want sex with them rather than such a fucked-up person in your life on a daily basis. Moreover, imagine you tell them this truth if they reach out, how do you think they react? Do you think they will still want to keep contact with you after this? Would they agree with you and vow to change? So, clean up your house and tell the truth. The truth is the antidote to suffering.
what to do? i beg and plead on my ex😔😔😢😢 we just broke up 3 days ago..we meet online and never met yet in person but we been videocalling 3 to 5 hrs everyday for over 3 yrs. we already plan to met this yr. but he broke up with me bcoz he said he meet someone that he likes now and want to pursue..what to do pls advice me, im so depress now😔 thank you
![Noob To Max With DRAGON REWORK In Blox Fruits [FULL MOVIE]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/LnBMOinoOvA/mqdefault.jpg)
I'm a success story! Without your videos, I would have relapsed (contacted) without blinking. I have my ex back and our bond is stronger than ever. Thank you a million times Rory!
Emmanuel Covarrubias hey, that’s great news. If you don’t mind me asking, how long were you apart?
6 months Alfie.
Why do you think it took her so long to reach out?
How long were you apart for.
@@mac1294 He just said "6 months" For the love of love chat, please read before you comment in panic.
Basically move on. Don’t contact them ever again. Especially if they left you. They can feel when you’re moving on for some reason. So take them off the pedistool and move on and better your self. Improve your self for you not them. Then you will find someone better. Let them chase you. It’s up to you to take them back not them. It turns tables but at the same time you aren’t supposed to expect them back. That’s when it works when you no longer care.
Touché, my friend!
💯
José Vieira yup if someone’s leaves you then you have no choice mine left me back in April it was hard and still is but fuck it life goes on no contact
Divinorum Studios 💯
@@Cfresh84 , mine dumped me 6 weeks ago ( almost 9 years together) and was talking to another guy before the breakup. Meanwhile, shes in a very hidden rebound. I found out myself, she never told me and lied all the time. I really dont care anymore
When does it really work? When you stop watching these videos &
and truly focus on your purpose.
Why am I here?
She broke no contact after I've gave my attention to my life.
ItsSpookie 🦾
Spookie so true "When does it really work? When you stop watching these videos &
and truly focus on your purpose". When I watch these videos I realize I am hindering my own healing. True contact is when I finally stop watching these videos.
I completely agree, i am addicted to watching those videos to constantly give me reassurance that i am doing the right thing otherwise i get anxious.
No contact works when you least expect it, because you're to focused on bettering yourself and finding the real you.
Don't think about it and they'll call, it'll happen and if it doesn't just remember the sky won't fall.
Just keep following the advice Rory's giving and focus on yourself.
Exactly 👍👍👍
❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you
It’s very true she came back saying she missed us when I really least expected her to.
Alex Gomez, did it work in your situation?
6 months later im still in a roller coaster. One week im fine doing my thing, next one im miserable. Fun times..
Elvijs Kurss so fun ughhh
It’s okay I’m about 5 months in and I still get moments where I’m sad and think about him but the time spent is a lot less and I recover a lot faster!! I no longer dwell for hours like I used to. Time heals!!! It’s cliche but it’s true. Self love should be intentional. Love yourself because you’re all you have left! I’m here for you you’re not alone ❤️
Same here
I know how it feels
It’s here
Took him down from the pedestal n kept it moving. Never looked back. No Contact is best. Changed my number block him in all social media n moved on. Never again will i go back.
People wake up, no contact is not for them it's for you
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I completely agree with the statement where my ex has no control over me and vice versa. Never wait for someone who has broken up with you and never devalue yourself. I’ve always had self esteem issue due to my ex as I kept on devaluing myself but now I said hey I can do this and I’m doing so much without her. Even if the likelihood of her coming back increases due to NC, I’m a change person with or without her. Valuable video Love Chat
Totally with you on that Bryan!!
Bryan Lim Absence only makes the heart grow fonder in a relationship that is working... The heart has to be fond. When you’re dumped it doesn’t apply... They’re finished. They’re done and relieved for the deed to finally be done. It’s only the Fading Effect Bias to start working.
I swear no contact started working for me when I stopped counting the days and my brain became more present
I'm in about 2 months no contact. My ex hasn't reached out yet. But She has been liking my IG Pics and has been stocking all of my stories on my Socials. But like you've said this doesn't mean anything. And I am going to keep working on myself until they reach out in an actual tangible way. I am also not liking there photos and I am not viewing there stories just like you told me coach. Thank you Rory!
John Spooner update?
Agnese De Luca Sorry for the late response I just saw this. Rory knows what he’s talking about!!! I followed all of his steps. We ended up getting back together and now we have an apartment together. Keep working on yourself and keep pushing to be a better well rounded individual. Make sure to post cool photos on your social media and show them what they are missing out on. There is a really good chance they will come back. Just keep watching Rorys Videos if you need a guide and follow everything he says. I am living proof of it. Rory you the Man!!! Unfortunately COVID kind of messed up a lot of things due to being stuck together 24/7 all of the time and not having any space. So for right now we are taking some space and I’m staying at my sisters house for a little while. I re started the process of no contact and giving her the space she needs and pushing myself at the gym etc. Essentially pushing myself to build her attraction back up. She called me and told me she misses me and wants to see me. What I have came to realize is relationships are a constant back and fourth with women. They are like cats you spend to much time together they get bored and over it. But when they push away listen to Rory and do not chase back off and give them the space they want and they come right back. So basically what I’m trying to say is Coach Rory is 100 percent on point he knows what he’s talking about. Just trust the process, and remember that relationship are something you have to constantly work on. Like I said I’m going through it right now. But I realize a lot of peoples relationships really got jacked up due to this lockdown. Good luck man!!! I continue to watch the Love Chat to help me through when issues like I’m having come up. Amazing Chanel this guy deserves 100 Million subscribers he’s doing God’s work!!!!
@@Extravaganttastee actually I recently started no contact rule he broke up with me but I chased him so many times but I realized that I did wrong I should’ve give him his space and time but now am doing no contact rule and I believe that he will come back on the right time!!
It starts working immediately, depending on how you handle the breakup and how you were as a partner. If you were a good partner, and then handled it right " I dont agree, but let me know if you change your mind" , they dont expect that answer. It opens their eyes. It works.
How many people are able to give an answer like that.. it's like your world is ending and acceptance is the last thing you can think of.
@A You're right. But not to get them back.. because you likely won't get them back regardless what you do. It's a matter of self respect and showing them your boundaries. That includes knowing that you only accept a relationship where both people are invested.
I want to add something here. Even if they don't reach out, or they do on bad terms (maybe trying to friendzone you, or while dating other people or rebounding), no contact will help you to heal and as consequence of that healing you will have a better life.
Thank you Rory, your videos help me go through the breakup.
im talking to my ex again after nc but right now im even not sure if i still want her back. She wants to text with me everyday but im not even eager to reply her texts anymore. It feels so good knowing that i dont need her anymore. im happy with myself. Ive learned from the breakup and im grateful.
Starts working when you start listening to Rory! lol 😁 Keep up the awesome Work! 😎
*No contact works .. when you yourself start working . Then you work more on yourself and for yourself. The progress starts to show . Then your ex starts to notice you as well , but then you start to forget them*
*Update started working out more , got a raise , and pretty soon imma start saving up for a new car 🚗*
No contact for 3 months, she came back and we were happy for 2 months and then we broke up again because the issue was still there.
Sometimes it’s better when it takes longer.
Bla Bleh well now you have new purpose/emphasis on self improvement. You got this brother!
@Bla Bleh Any update?
No contact for 4 months, then he came back and we were happy together for 10 months and then we broke up again.. Perhaps after got him back i stopped working on myself that's why he left me again.. Man, this pain is still new..
@@Pichara9 update?
When you decide to put your ex aside and start working on yourself, you begin to want to improve yourself more and more while the thought of your ex starts to go to the back of your mind and that's the way, you have to be in a position where you don't care anymore and that's when you can do things the right way if they come back
She said to me that, I am unable to develop feelings for you and I don't want to give you any false hopes, so I am ending our communication here, wish you all the best. My reply was a concise, 'thanks and all the best'. I did not text or call since 40 days and I have no intention of doing so unless I am reached out to.
My mom knows everything!
Lol
Great insights and encouragement. Thanks, Rory!
There is no Formula for getting anyone back. But reality check is, that many people take good souls for granted. Good souls need to learn to set boundaries and such boundaries might get violated by the person we are with or been with. Lack of empathy and emotional intelligence is one reason and another one is halfway a mental disorder or other unhealthy ways of dealing with conflicts. Some just never learned how to deal with critical comments or communication that doesn't go their way, so they call it stress or drama. It's sad when we must cutt off contact for a certain amount of time to let them feel the break up instead of talking things out. Too many selfish, too proud/full of ego people..use others in relationships and can't handle a conversation after the mess...so they jump into quitting. When they don't hear from you , they mind realize things or not...some will create any type of self talk and convince themselves to not contact you again, because they fear changes and confrontations. So if they ever contact you back, take your time to answer..or do not answer in case you're over it. Such people awake anxiety in others, their ping pong behavior is like a dead zone.
My goodness. You described my ex and my situation perfectly. Thank you for letting me know I'm not alone.
I'm doing my workout (The Body Coach) and I got a notification from Sir Rory and here I am..😁😁😁 Thank you Sir Rory ☺
I've been doing great improvement from my body and mental condition(anxiety) thanks to you! 😁
Thank you Rory for another great vid!.
I think no contact is a natural process which is required after being kicked to the kerb. In this time it allows a person to emotionally detatch, gather themselves and rebuild self esteem etc.
I'm not suggesting it's easy as Ive struggled through it myself but hard work is hard work, so it's worth sticking with it. The results will come, it's just a matter of time.
I said something similar I told her “ I spent to much time seeing you as a lover that I can’t be your friend , if you don’t want a relationship with me than it’s okay I will walk away “ it’s been 3 weeks now no contact I’m fine tho this isn’t my 1st rodeo
3:58-5:08 hahaha😂😂😂😂😂😂, I could not stop chuckling Rory! I absolutely love this part of the video. Wish I had seen this video prior to my breakup. But it's ok. It's funny...hahahaha LMFAO!!!
You are spoiling us Rory 😭 Thank you ❤️
Thank you for these videos! They really help, I know it's been several months since my breakup and I need during no contact, but for some weird weird reason this time of year is always difficult to think about the breakup. And I find it hilarious, that every time I click on your video, that I get the commercial for there's three words that you can say that every guy will make you fall for him no matter what... LOL
i’ve broken no contact 4 times, this last time he replied but it was a rejection to hang out. i’m surprised he even responded but no more! starting this new year with not contacting him anymore and working on myself! wish me luck!!!
Girl start now! Its holiday season.. Dont text him.. Dont wish him. I repeat DONT!! dont wait till new year.
Don't never ever chase after you begin dumped, you are boosting their ego and give them a reason to keep rejecting you, walk away and mean it, and apply zero contact it's so effective but a bit tough at the same time.. By applying this you grow and become stronger..
I left her alone and 3 mths later she came back and I left it.. this 100% works
My ex reached out to me today!!! She broke up with me little over 3 months ago. We've spoken on and off due to Bills and business matters. I usually text her notifying when I've sent her a payment. This time I just made the payment with out texting her. And of course she calls. We played phone tag that day and she left it alone. A week later which was today...she called and I picked up. She called to see how I was doing. I let her do most the talking and she carried the conversation. At the end she thanked me for my payment and said that we would talk again later. This was the best conversation we've had in almost 4 months. No tension at all. I've went complete no contact for the last two weeks. No contact is your best chance at bettering yourself and getting your ex to reach out. Thanks Rory you really know your stuff. Also thank you to everyone and their positive comments in the comment section...that gave me hope. If you have a success story definitely pay it forward by dropping it in the comments it really helps. No matter what happens with me and her I know life is going to be better.
Saw a great t-shirt the other day that said "You are entirely up to you."
Love it!
@@TheLoveChat Hey just wanna say your videos are greatly appreciated and i find them extremely helpful 😊 Question.. What do you think of deactivating your social media where they still have you on, of course not blocking but they'd know when other people searched for you and your accounts wouldn't show up. Good/bad idea?
Please make a video on how to bounce back after breaking no contact several times and how to get oneself back after making mistakes that you clearly said not to do.
I broke no contact like 7 times begging and begging. After a full month of that. I finally haven’t reach out out once and low key feel like my emotions have completely normalized. I have no urges anymore to reach out.
any update?
@@RenskeLogie moral of the story. Ignore the fuck out of them. You will do nothing but push them away and hate yourself for a long time for behaving irrationally.
@@_camy_ did you ever talk to them again
Did he ever reach out?
God bless you sir you are so right I just wanna be by myself unless God sees different thats why I always keep him,first .
Guys no contact is for you not for them, and it's work for them as well, but you need to have the power to be able to walk away and mean it when they push you away , you need to have the power to let someone go..
I don't want my ex back romantically, I just miss the companionship and the ease we had.
Do a video on the different types of breakups
I wished I had found this video before my break up
thats one thing i didn't do was leave the door open for him. He walked out of my life well then the door will be locked and closed on him for good. No point in saying if you change your mind give me call...thats tell them im waiting for you still... no i say Close the door on them and lock it for good.
Loved waking up to this! cant wait for our coaching session next weekend 🖤
Love your videos ! No contact is a great life mentality to carry
Rory, can you please make a video on how to move on from your first love! I’m 28 and my ex-gf for 5 years left me and moved away with a different guy after 1 day of our breakup. I know that there is a lot of fish in the sea, I’m dating, i have a really good job and I’m progressing in it, i have my own business and it’s booming, i go to the gym everyday. I’m doing everything, but it really hurts all the time and I cannot stop thinking about her. I just need a motivation talk from you❤️ thank you so much, your videos is one of the best!
muaaz alsulimany I’m in a similar situation. How are you doing now ?
shav12 I’m doing much better now, not perfect but a lot better. Trust me, time does heal. But you got to do the work and don’t get stuck in one position in your mind. NC, stop stalking and mute every social account they have. It’s like an addiction and it will fade away gradually. My advice is try to engage in any activity that requires mental focus. It will be hard at first, but with time you will get better.
No contact didn’t work for me. My ex never contacted me again. I don’t know know caused blocked him from everywhere, but he knows where I live and my social media. Well, we ran to each other at a bar and he went to say hi to me. I knew he was exploring out there dating other people. Almost two years after the breakup and this person I has never contacted me.
Great video but tread lightly. I was broken up 11 months ago. I went no contact immediately. He orbited me three times with future faking and telling me what I wanted to hear to fool me into believing there was hope. After he got sex a week or two later he ghosted me. It was like getting broken up with all over and the count started all over. It sucked!!! I have since told him that this game is over and to never contact me again. That he was a liar and a user. The man I once knew, died and he was a stranger I no longer want to know. I’ve blocked him every way I can. I can’t let this happen again where I believe he is sincere and it’s a game to toy with me.
Be careful with what they tell you when they reach out. It’s not always sincere.
Agreed 100%
The Love Chat thanks 🙏 Rory.
Much respect for you.
TeeJae84
I didn’t just hop into the sack but obviously, I handled it all wrong and should have waited to have sex until I knew his true intentions. Trust me, I felt like a total fool! I can’t change it, I can only change today and work on myself and my healing. Lesson learned the hard way.
Rory us the man, and as cornball as it sounds, imma fan!
Thank you Rory🌹 more power to your channel...
I feel dying the time she broke up with me, I got diagnosed Tb and pneumonia and I stopped going to school to recover (senior high), For all that time she was the only one I was Talking with day to night since I was in bed all day being weak. It really hits me when she said just think of her as d best thing that I gained this year since I was forced to stop school so when the time she broke up with me after 2 months, I felt dying. Where everything hurts. Where u have a lot nightmares about her at 3 am and just accepted the break up like my Disease. Feels like its so much to handle back then. Anyways just sharing this lol
What if he dumped me for another ex. I didn't even know it was happening. No contact which I didn't expect anyhow. Nothing. Loved your wise advice. I wouldn't even try to contact him I'm to hurt. Thanks.
I blocked my husband from my social media sites and changed my number. My husband is cheating with another woman and flying back and forth to meet her in Chicago. BTW, she’s been paying for his flights. I love my husband and refuse to tolerate with the lies and cheating! I’m moving within 2 weeks and he won’t have any information about my new location! My husband emailed me, and I did not reply back. He’s still lied about the trip! The other woman is constantly posting about her and my husband! I’m healing and I love me more!
That’s tough
I love your quality of going through the comments and listening what your viewers have to say.. Kudos
Brother, love you from India ♥️
My ex hugged me and kissed me as we broke up. She said she was sorry for everything. I didnt disagree with her when she told me she was toxic. I let her have the breakup. And I regretted it almost immediately. I've been in no contact over a month and wish she would come back. She views all my insta stories even though I don't watch hers so I know she thinks about me. I'm holding on to hope but I feel so conflicted about everything and I think about her all the time.
Same
Hello - I'm helping a very young client with a breakup and have a question I can't seem to answer. She reached out to him after a fairly peaceful breakup (she told him she didn't want it but then wished him well and said goodbye). She sees him every day at school and it was awkward. She wanted to clear the air and be "friends" as he had indicated he would like that & because the tension was stressful to her. She apologized for ignoring him and he told her "I want to let you know that I'm not seeing [the rebound] anymore." (This rebound lasted maybe 10 days). She said okay and was happy they could be friends and that was it. Why would he tell her this? She didn't ask for clarification on his intentions. I'm advising her not to go looking for this answer now and to initiate some better no-contact. But it's eating her up thinking he told her because he wants her back but was testing the waters. What is your professional opinion?
Hi there. Friends isn't the way to go - she doesn't actually want friendship. She wants to stick around and hope he'll reconsider her and that will drive her anxiety up big time. It isn't important why he told her that - we can't know as it is mind reading.
Rory! As usual a great video! Can u explore NARCISSISM? I can’t believe I didn’t know about it until now- my ex is one and now she wants to monkeybranch back to me (while she’s still with someone else). She wanted to be ‘friends’ at the outset and I told her I AM NOT PERSUING HER- even tho she tries to spin it like I want HER back. Crazy shit- can u help an unsuspecting guy like me and everyone else who deals with narcissists-
You bet! I'm working on that one. big video!
It’s easy to identify someone’s a narcissist but unless they’ve met a number of criteria’s I wouldn’t classify them as such. Trust me you will know because I have been there and still pushing through. It’s definitely not a regular break from a healthy person. It’s the trauma bond that must be broken and this is only done by what Rory and DG speaks about which is No contact. It’s truly for you (us). It’s a time of self reflection, a time to rebuild boundaries, regain your personality strength mentality physically and emotionally
@Steven Pavia.. Clear your mind of the fog because that’s what it sounds like you are in right now. They tend to project their insecurities on to us by gaslighting,devaluing, discarding, then hovering.. This is a repeated cycle of abuse until you go and stay no contact
@@mrblatcher careful with the cover narcissist, the worst one. My ex happens to be one of that kind
Try to talk about covert narcissist, you know , love bombing , mirroring , slight lack of empathy but intense love bombing and eventually monkey branching / ice cold / heartless discard
My ex left me 2 years ago, i was the beggar and absolutely broken the typical phase! This time im just like ok, give me a call when you change your mind, you have the whole universe for space & we dont need to work on our friendship. i dont want that, i want an intimate & sensual relationship. We've been together for 8 years.... And walked away.
I gave her ALL her stuff back right away & went immediately into no contact going on 1 month since she left this time and I'm way less stressed, see our children everyday, working out,improving myself and career. When I see her I say nothing unless she engages or its about our children. She is absolutely destroyed this time and i can tell by the look on her face & body language. I wish her the best but until she desolves her desires to run away from her personal problems, characteristics and improves herself. I dont want her back.
Inspired from you , I have started to write a book 🙂, wish me luck coach
Congratulations!! Send me a copy when it's done!
@@TheLoveChat I would really work very hard to complete it Coach, love and blessings ♥️
Good luck
well with covid 19 going on so know we are not be able to go out to the gym
I got my ex back after 6 months of NC. We were long distance and she was in town. Then were back together for about 6 months and then she dumped me again. This was a few years ago. I don't think I would take back someone that dumped me again.
It's getting "into the unknown"! Yey! Frozen 2 😂😂😂
We broke up 10 months ago. In NC for more than 9 months.. I was doing fine, traveling, working, making new friends and dating awesome people.. I still think of him everyday but it’s usually just a thought of him. However, last night I started thinking of him and got back to point 1. I started missing him so much and crying that I can’t have him and etc.... we only dated for 5months and it’s been 10 months now since the breakup. No peep for 9 months
Did he reach out yet?
WJ no. My birthday was on the 18 I thought he’d use it as an excuse to reach out but he didn’t
@@JazzaLv99 wow. That's a long time though . Maybe in your own case it might take a year for him to reach out or not. But if you feel like it's time for you to move on you should cuz you deserve the best. It's up 2 you. He doesn't know what he has lost
WJ Thanks a lot!! I’ve come to realize lately that I deserve someone much better... I’ve lost all hope of us getting back together and I think I’m ready to move on. I still care about him and wish him happiness but it’s time to care about me too... I’m focusing on university and work and I’ve been doing a lot of traveling... I’m gonna find someone who deserves me 😊
@@JazzaLv99 so proud of you. You are going to be fine. You're strong and awesome. Glad I could be encouraging in some way 💕. Have a blessed day 🙏😊
Look at her through the prism of a new girl you will meet or already met. Yes, this has to be a girl of quality, not an average one. Yes, it will take time and some pick-up skills and you probably need to live in a big city. But when you look at her in a state without options, you'll choose her anyways. This is not a fair competition. All you need is to have some patience and some pick-up skills and you'll be fine soon.
No contact won't work for my ex. She got engaged 2 months after she broke up with me. It's hard to move on as she was my first love but I'm trying my best
She got engaged after 2 months.. what is wrong with people. Sounds extremely immature.
@@hgzmatt actually I found out a month after I made this post she got engaged roughly 3 weeks after our break up. Saying that since I wrote the last comment I've seen a doctor for antidepressant medication, done 1 therapy session (my second one coming up), walking average 50km a week and started seeing someone new. I've already came to terms that I dodged a bullet and that my ex is a toxic piece of work, the other guy can have her
@@aessilverfang8003 Happy to hear that :)
I've picked up running again.. photography and hiking. Got my drive at work back. Keeping busy does help. Still have moments where I think of her but I'm much more emotionally stable. I'm so glad I can enjoy life again and not be stuck in misery forever. I'm not going to demonize my ex because I know she's struggling too, but if that's how you feel about yours I can understand.
@@hgzmatt my ex never really loved me, only used me, cheated and thrown me away like trash. She never wanted to commit to our relationship but jumps into a big commitment after 3 weeks of our break up. Don't get me wrong I do miss her but I have come to terms that I only fell in love with a mask and the person I fell in love with doesn't really exist. I think that what the hard part, human beings can't discard emotions and stop loving something they came to love. I'm always gonna have love for my ex (she was my first relationship) but I'm in love with the mask my ex put on during our relationship.
@@aessilverfang8003 I'm sorry.. But at the very least you have clarity and you can focus on moving on. You don't have to be stuck in limbo. You can be sure that she will regret all that at some point. But you'll be so far ahead of her.
Rory do a video about taking an ex back after them being in rebounds do they worth taking back ?? appreciate your work here thanks
My ex broke up with me but I initiated it because I felt like I wasn’t being understood. We got in an argument and he said “I’m done”. I cried, begged, and said I didn’t want to break up I just felt misunderstood and wanted to talk. I cried and said “Okay, if thats what you choose, I understand”. He cried, I cried. I smiled and reassured him that I understood we were different and that I loved him. He drove away and that was that. Almost a full month ago.
Him and I went to the same gym and he now comes at the time I do… It feels weird because I know he hated working out late. Everyone’s saying he’s trying to run into me but I don’t feel thats the case. I hope he’s doing well.. It sucks having to avoid someone you really loved.
Hi Victoria! If you're looking for more support we have opened our Discord Community. Here is the link: discord.gg/KUCeXX3uzS
Does no contact work if she broke up with you because you were the opposite of needy and clingy? I was quite emotionally distant for a month or so and wouldn't see her every time she wanted to see me. I messaged her twice in seven days after the break up but nothing for almost a month.
I don't know what Rory will say, but this is the situation I was in. He broke up with me because I'm distant and avoidant, and he felt unappreciated and hurt by my behavior. Completely my fault. I tried to work it out for the first month to no avail, then went into no contact for the next 5 weeks. He kept watching all my SM stories so I risked it and reached out to ask how he has been. He was receptive but the ball was in his court still, so if he didn't suggest meeting, I was ready to say goodbye, go back to NC and move on. After a couple of days of texting, I told him I'm glad he's doing well, and I guess I'll see him around. It was meant to be my last message, but he replied suggesting we meet for coffee.
I don't know if he could sense that I was moving on, or he would have asked anyway, but it's probably worth mentioning because it's possible he could tell that was my goodbye.
So that's how it worked for me. Tomorrow I'll find out if it's a success story.
@@Mezaph Thanks for the reply. It's a difficult one because alot of these videos seem to revolve about the dumpees being the needy ones so hopefully we'll see something different in the future.
If you want to try and make things work, I have my fingers crossed for you! If not, I hope it brings clarity. 😊
@@Mezaph That's great that you guys are meeting up. Good luck on your meeting. Dont bring up the break up or or bring up getting back together. Stay cool,positive and most of all have fun. You got this.
@@harrisonwalton thanks! Update, it went amazing. He said we should see each other again soon. I treated it like a first date, but with inside jokes and familiarity. Had a long hug goodbye and could tell he didn't want to leave at the end, but he had plans. Texted him afterwards to say it was nice and he should come visit the dog when he gets a chance. He said he will.
So there you have it. The break-up was my fault, I really did take him for granted. Some good solid no contact, I reached out, and it looks like things will work out.
Hope this helps with your situation. Good luck!
@@Mezaph That is really great to hear! I'm really happy for you! Maybe I'll get lucky and have the same! 😁 Best wishes for your future!
When you love someone and it goes to waste. Getting better but there are days where I wonder, "We couldn't get past through this!? She must have really loved me😅".
My ex keep coming to the place I work and she’s a member of the gym and keep asking me how I am and about me and even giving her short answer and trying to ignore her, she still smile at me all the time. And 2 days ago she asked if I wanna go to spend New Years at the same place she’s going, but like, casual. What do I do?
Hey Rory! Why can't we see you 😔 when we can actually see you....we only get to hear you. Would love to see in your videos 😍
Sappy Drake love songs..... you crack me up!! Thanks for all you've given me, really! xxx
Hey Rory, how does your ex finding out that you went on a dating app show them that you never let go of the control in the 1st place? Was kinda confused by that bit. My ex and I met on a dating app, and we both never deleted them, so I've been periodically using mine again.
probably by filing the void they left and being lazy ,i'm wondering about that part too if only Rory explained it a bit
I think he misspoke. I think he meant to say "never went on a dating app." If you're not dating because you're waiting, then you're still giving them all of the control
Thank you! ❤
We’ve been in a 7yrs rs. She brokeup with me almost a month ago. While i’m doing no-contact my ex removed our couple photos on her instagram. Does it means i have no chance of getting her back anymore? Someone pls enlighten me 😐
My ex and I broke up a couple of weeks ago and I begged for about 2 days than dipped. She saw me go to the gym with another girl a couple days ago. She’s been acting really happy and went to a party with one of her new friends and would not stop talking about me being “all over this new girl” and that she researched who it was and all that at the party she went to. My friend was also at that party and told me how happy she was trying to be but how jealous she was acting towards me hanging with this girl. Any thoughts?
God makes way. Amen🙏🙏🙏
there are times you may have to break contact dealing with important issue outside past relationship. Only speak of and focus on the situation NOT the past relationship dont even bring it up or ask how their doing. Be completely detached as if you were never in a relationship with them. Show no irritation or rude behaviour only a transaction is all. Then start no contact.
Hi all. Just wondering if anyone can help me.
I was no contact for 32 days. I broke it and he said he missed me and had been thinking of me...... I messed up and fell back into my habit of initiating contact. I wanted him to know how happy I was and how I’ve moved on and how amazing life is. Now he’s back ignoring me...... I’m back in no contact. Can I salvage this????
Heya Rory! Why haven't you been streaming at all on twitch? I just followed you there, to find out that you don't stream anymore 😂..
I'll return eventually!
@@TheLoveChat can't wait!❤
I need your help Rory!
So me and my ex broke up friday, 2 weeks ago. This left me disheartened. I pleaded with her, begged and all of that and she wasn't having it. She wanted us to be friends, so i thought the friends idea would be a great opportunity for me to show her that I've changed. It wasn't working and i began pleading again the next Thursday after we broke up. She told her that i continue to hurt her. So i told her that i won't talk to her ever again because i don't wanna hurt her again. It's been a week now of no contact and my friend told me, she archived me, muted me for a year and muted my statuses. Her birthday is Monday and i will continue the no contact and grow.
Am i going on the right path? Will i get her back if i continue like this?
Continue the NC and work on yourself
@@kanchanajayan950 i will. Thanks ❤
@@agivnofox4721 😊
AgivnoFox - Do not contact her on her birthday! Give her the gift of wondering why she has not heard from you. She has caused you great anxiety, now let HER feel some anxiety. Right now, she is feeling relieved and she is likely not ready to talk to you - she needs time and space away from you. Listen to Rory's videos on the stages the "dumper" goes through during No Contact.
Also, listen to his videos on how and what you should be doing during No Contact.
No contact means that you do not contact her AT ALL - for any reason! She broke up with you, she said that she doesn't want you in her life. You must wait for her to contact you - that may take weeks, or it may take months, and it may be never. If someone tells you to go away, you cannot keep knocking on the door, asking to be let in. Vow to use the coming months to become a better you. She may never want to come back, but going No Contact and using the time to improve yourself will (over time) increase your odds and give you the best chance of that happening.
You cannot change in a week or two, AvignoFox - it takes time. And she will CERTAINLY not believe that you have "changed" in such a short period of time, so telling her that is a waste of time. Right now, your separation anxiety is telling your brain that you MUST convince her right now that you have changed or you will lose her forever. Not true! Don't listen to your anxiety - it will lead you to do something foolish and you will ruin ANY chance you may have of ever getting her back. Personal growth cannot happen that quickly and she knows that, so step back, accept that reality, and get to work on yourself.
If you have the chance to meet up with her sometime in the future and you have made great personal progress, you will not have to tell her you have changed. She will notice it immediately, and that will have an impact!!
P.S. I am in the same position you are; my girl left me 7 months ago and I made the mistakes of begging/pleading at first. I last heard from her 5 months ago when I sent her a pleading text and she responded that she had met someone new. I then found RUclips channels like this one and learned about "No Contact" and personal growth. I have made great personal strides and I believe I am ready IF she ever does reach out again (but she may not). Though I am not yet ready to date someone new, other women see my value and are making their interest known to me. I can see that the opportunity for companionship with others is there for me when I am emotionally ready to step out again, and that is helping me slowly let go of the idea that "she" is the only woman for me. You will get there too. It is a marathon, not a sprint, so pace yourself.
@@bg104 well said 🙌 I am in the same condition as you...it's been 7 months.
My problem is I begged in the start and then after a day I started no contact
I did everything right the first time around and then a few days later I reached out like an idiot. FML.
I'm like 90% sure that if I stuck to my guns she would already be contacting me. damnit
Same here bro, but if you think about it if you get your ex back right away the chances of it ending right away is high. The more time the better
Will it still work if you told them you can’t be friend but didn’t tell if you change your mind give me a call ?
Yep!
You know exactly when no contact worked for me? When i agonized for 4 months over this guy who left me.
He told me countless times I was the most amazing person he’s ever met-he even said that when he broke up with me- he told me he couldnt wait to live with me, he was proud to call me his girl, he’d send me the longest paragraphs about how much he loved me and how much i meant to him. I spent 4 months agonizing over this and analyzing. I kept asking “did he really mean any of that shit??” with nothing but silence from him. And then one day it just clicked for me. If he can walk away knowing how much he hurt me and just stay silent the whole time, if he can go on social media and boast about how great his life is, then he doesnt care. They dont care. Thats why they dont reach out, and once you realize this it gets easier. I hope he never tries to contact me again honestly, i dont care about someone who doesn’t care about me.
I had similiar situation. One day I woke up and it just clicked in my head that my ex doesn't care and it is over. It was a super weird feeling to realize that, I can't really describe that moment lol. But since that , every day it gets easier and better like you said.
I'm still at my early stages of recovering..I was told all sorts of things as well but actions spoke louder than words. He didn't respect me enough to even break up with me he just ghosted after two years.
totorunq love to hear it. Its a liberating feeling
Ghada Elarbash actions always speak louder than words, exactly. Im very sorry this happened to you. Its perfectly ok to still hold onto that hope that they come back but i hope you realize you are meant for something and someone better. Someone who truly knows you and can see how beautiful your soul is would never want to leave you or hurt you. My heart hurts for you honestly. Ghosting is so cowardly. I hope you can heal from this soon queen ❤️
It hurts to know that they don’t care because I cared a lot, gave my all and didn’t do anything wrong. The only thing I did “wrong” was using love as an excuse to stay with someone who didn’t treat me right, who didn’t love me and who didn’t respect me. I’m focusing on myself and giving myself that love I never gave myself in the first place. It takes loss to really realize this. Thank you I’m going to keep this in mind
Hey Rory, great video as always!
Got a personal question: did you fall into these initial mistakes (ie begging/pleading etc) and what was the best tool you had while going through your break up, since you weren’t as fortunate as us to have you
Hi Matt! Honestly? I begged for about two days and then was feeling a bit digusted with myself. I pulled myself out of the hole with a reminding myself I am better than this! "If I can't have her - I CAN have my dignity."
The rest was willpower - though counseling helped!
It's been 10 months and she doesn't contact me tell now .what should I do now?
Can you suggest how to get rid of him? My feeling has changed and he doesn't seem understand it well. There are 7.5 billions in this world, supposed the amount of men 3.5 billions, I don't see why I should take him back but if he wants me back, it shows how defective he is. If he could kill all 3.5 billions of men in this world, then I might think about taking him back.
“Your mom doesnt even know” you aint had to put my mama in dat 😂😂😂😂
Looking for the communities input..8 yr relationship ended with and engagement then she shortly broke up and I recently found out I was Monkey branched. Been in no contact for a year. She's already in a live relationship. Monday I was shocked to walk into my gym to see she became a member again.. we didn't speak, because there wasn't an opportunity to. Question...do I move gyms? There is growth in both options...stay at the gym and be strong or leave for another....what to do...
I did some pleading the first 5 minutes she dumped me after that i only contacted her 2 days later to tell her she's a monster because she betrayed me for someone else (i have no legitimate 100% proof of that) and i told her i'll no longer bother her and gave her one last gift which is a drawing of her she asked me to do a few month earlier. Now in no contact sometimes i see her playing the same game as me and making her player character stand near where my character is standing. One day i was flirting with a random girl in the game she appeared near me didnt say anything just stood near me. Today i was sitting in my usual spot and i saw her appear and "flirt" with the guy i suspected her have betrayed me with. I just stood still for 5 min and then i looged out. Why is she doing this? does she enjhoy hurting me?
I once did a painting for an ex who hurt me badly. It hadn't been signed, but when we broke up, I signed that painting with a fat red sharpie across the entire front of the painting. I felt awful about what I had done to defame my art, but I felt like since we had a deal and I had done that for him, then the least I could do was sign it before everything ended.
Before I started no contact I kind of gave her a reassurance that she can comeback in d future after breaking up with me d past month kind of f*ck up for doing dat im kind if doubting if no contact will work in that situation.. Help
I needed this content
Hey, get your ex back within +2348157801375
It worked for me and I'm living happily with my love now
Message me on WhatzApp to know better
What if you did all the stupid begging and pleading for about 2 months 😬 she is now in a relationship with a 23yr old, she is 39 with 3 kids, I have been in no contact now for just over 2 months, it's not until you come out of a relationship that you can see the things you were doing wrong in it like taking things for granted, I don't know whether i should send her a message apologising for how I massively lost my shit after she broke up with me, I was messed up then, still am a bit now, or should i just stay in no contact?
Stay on contact
No contact I ment sorry going to take longer for you bro
@@garethg4229 yeah I thought so, things aren't looking promising, maybe give it a few years 😬
@@chrisaubrey1950 going through same thing myself been 3 months no contact mate, but I ain't never contacting her
@@garethg4229 I don't think it will last with the 23yr old but who knows, yeah I'm not going to contact her, it's tough not to be tempted sometimes but I know I'll regret it if I do, just got to concentrate on #1 for now I guess.
why did my ex -wife agree to have SOP with me, even though she said she doesn't love me anymore. and we both enjoyed afterwards. what does this mean? she still luv me?
My ex left me in my worst it hurts bad but I would never take her back in my best she hurt me and she hurt herself worse when she realizes her mistake and that my friend is when karma will ring her doorbell and haunt her the rest of her life like I told her that’s your choice now lie with it !
I guess I don’t understand what to do when my ex reaches out while I’m in NC. He wants to talk and has been pushing to meet up with me, which I have declined. Recently I said I would maybe be open to meeting him so he asked about a certain day and I again said maybe. He never reached out when that day came (just a couple days later) and I certainly didn’t reach out to him. The following day he texted with an excuse about work and he wants to talk again soon. Why is he pushing to see me then just blowing me off? What do I do in this circumstance? I haven’t responded to his apology text, but I don’t know what to do.
set a definite time sand day. if he doesnt show then hes not serious
Why is it bad that they find out you went on a dating app?
hello sir, i've made no contact and radio silence for 12 days today she posts on her facebook about my fault, my bad and she is happy when without me so what should I do?
im on no contact again just after a week of going back together 🙁
We were together 7.5 years and engaged owned a place together and had dogs. He broke up with me, saying that he couldnt make me happy and that we need to focus on ourselves..he told me he wants me im his life and wants to be friends and that he loves and cares about me. Our relationship was great i thought, untill the last year of it when i found out he had been talking to an ex girlfriend whom he still has feelings for but she is in a relationship and expecting. I think shes what confused him about our relationship. I moved 9 hours awat. We were still communicating through text because i was so emotionally unstable. I decided to try no contact 3 days ago and he has texted me asking how the dogs are...should i reply?
He hasnt changed his status on FB yet and we have been broken up for about 3 months but apart for just over 1 month. Do you think our relationship has more of a chance being that we were engaged and all that?
The author is one of the few here who doesn't sell lies and false hopes and I really like the way you reason. I think it is also useful to follow Jordan Peterson's advice on life, which is to clean up your room and tell the truth. Your EX is not perfect, probably has a lot of bad qualities that added to your break up. Tell yourself the TRUTH about them and imagine telling this to them. What if they reach out and you write to them the TRUTH in response, something like "I always wanted for myself a stubborn/unforgiving/selfish/low self-esteem/ok when partner suffers etc. girlfriend/wife/partner". Do you really want such a person as your partner? Tell yourself the truth if you just want sex with them rather than such a fucked-up person in your life on a daily basis. Moreover, imagine you tell them this truth if they reach out, how do you think they react? Do you think they will still want to keep contact with you after this? Would they agree with you and vow to change? So, clean up your house and tell the truth. The truth is the antidote to suffering.
I'm a fan of Dr. Peterson as well!
what to do? i beg and plead on my ex😔😔😢😢 we just broke up 3 days ago..we meet online and never met yet in person but we been videocalling 3 to 5 hrs everyday for over 3 yrs. we already plan to met this yr. but he broke up with me bcoz he said he meet someone that he likes now and want to pursue..what to do pls advice me, im so depress now😔 thank you
chris ruby gomez Any updates?
Does no contact mean deleting an ex from. Social media or is muting them enough?.
Strict no contact does include deleting or blocking them from every social media platform, email, messenger, and personal messages.