The super-advanced "radiant" AI was the major selling point of Oblivion in 2006. The glorious trainwreck of an AI is the major selling point of Oblivion in 2018.
When this game came out, it was praised for how its NPCs felt like "real people who made the world feel authentic and alive". I like to think about that from time to time.
The problem is bethesda never stepped their game up. They use the same mechanics and engine to this day all the way back from morrowind. The rendering is slightly better but trash company these days. It was cute back in 2006. Now its just sad (eso, fa76).
I remember thinking that whilst playing it myself now I watch this and it's a big laugh. Even remember that name Armond Christoff but don't remember if i got him
What a fool you are! I'm a god! How can you kill a god?! What a grand and intoxicating innocence! How could you be so naive? There is no escape! No recall or intervention can work in this place! Come, lay down your weapons! It is not too late for my mercy.
They deduced it from the ropes that guard was examining. They were torn up as the perpetrator struggled to climb down. The other guard following his colleague's trail of thought checked the bottom of the bow of the ship. Since he wasn't there that left the first guard with only one option: the aft. And that's how they found him.
Armond did the mission for the old guy outside of the imperial city getting rumare slaughterfish scales so he been wearing the ring that let's you breathe underwater just hiding from the guards under the ship
It's not just that. All of time freezes when someone locks you in conversation like that in this game. If people are walking nearby or fighting they will literally freeze mid step or mid swing until you stop talking
“Don’t worry.” The Imperial guard said, submerged up to his neck. He fixed the hero with a determined stare. “We’ll get him.” *Slowly sinks further into the water until he disappears* Across the country, Christophe felt a chill run up his spine. The Imperial guard was coming.
That reminds me of the Mitchels versus the machines, where the roombas come to life to hurt the family and they all just fall down the escalator and die. We laughed so hard cuz recently our roomba also tumbled down the steps
I always avoided swimming near towns, because I once was swimming around and got really spooked when a guard was suddenly swimming right next to me. Bears and monsters have got nothing on "STAY SAFE CITIZEN" in unexpected.
Pretty sure I cracked a rib laughing as I thought about a situation like that in real life. You're walking down the street that's long succumbed to darkness, it being way past midnight, and out of fucking *nowhere* a cop jumps out at you. "STAY SAFE CITIZEN!", he yells at you and then skiddadles away looking for his next unsafe seeming citizen to warn about street safety.
@@flawedrevolver967 Imperial Guards certainly don't, you even touch an apple that doesn't belong to you they'll arrest you. You pick up a coin that doesn't belong to you anywhere in Cyrodiil - they'll know about it
When the imperial city guards show such level of incompetence walking into ships and wading around in the water like idiots that Armand Christophe actually gets comfortable and starts walking about openly...that's when they'll nab him.
He's clearly trying to tap into his telepathic abilities to locate the guy, you commit any crimes out of sight anywhere in Cyrodiil they still know about it, why do you think that is? Telepathy, fear them
The way I see it these guys are masters at their jobs! They start by making sure Armand Christoph is not in on the shrouds or under the stairs... then transition the investigation to the water. This is investigative techniques at its finest!
To Be Fair, You Have To Have a Very High IQ to understand that the guards are actually looking for the guy on the best way possible, there is no joke here to laugh.
I’m also going to say this too. I watched the video over again and it turns out that not only are they top notch investigators but they are also professional divers.... I mean look at their form!
well, the best way to surprise the enemy is to jump into the river with full plate armor and say to any adventurer who happens to investigate if you are still amongst the living that they shouldn't worry and that you will get the perpetrator. even if they are not in the water.
From the lack of commentary to the succession of levitation, mindless ship abandonment, to the calm reassuring tone of the drowned, this is one of the funniest things I have ever seen and I hope to keep record of it
Hands down the very best video from Bacon. And one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I will never recover from how hard I was laughing when watching this, like 50 times.
if only our US military had the same level of theft awareness as the oblivion guard AI.. you steal a spoon in a cave near anvil and they hear about it in morrowind 0.0000002 seconds later.
In Skyrim only the courier mastered these arts. He's the creepiest figure in all of TES anyways. He's probably some mighty dark lord who will put the world to an end in the TES 6.
I think this video is a very good example of satirizing the government. It is a video criticizing corrupt government officials who care about their own entertainment while pretending to listen to the voices of citizens......😔
Honestly oblivion guards are op they can hear you stealing a apple from 10miles away and will chase you across the map and into a oblivion gate to arrest you
The guards were getting closer. Kristof adjusted his elaborate boat disguise dispacing a few crates and bodily throwing a crewman overboard. The imperial guards would never be able to find him disguised as a 60 foot long 20 ton merchant ship with crew and cargo.
There’s legit so much going on in this video, you have two guards running in place, one stuck on the stairs the other falling in the water, one guard floating and then falling into the water, a horse with its butt sticking up, truly a cursed video
They lose so many guards that way...
The city really should install guard rails.
"Guard rails" giggity
I'm surprised at your lack of likes, good sir.
GUARD rails 🤣.. ☠️😂😂 **WHEEZE**
This deserves top comment 😂
GET
OUT!
The super-advanced "radiant" AI was the major selling point of Oblivion in 2006.
The glorious trainwreck of an AI is the major selling point of Oblivion in 2018.
And still, it beats half the games that come out today
EA, the Scumbags of Gaming Meaning that its worse than half of the games that come out today? You may want to reconsider your statement.
Even so, it's still pretty damn impressive, even for today's standards. The ai in this game still manages to surprise me to this day.
Mad Max Rockatansky Really good. Even to this day the game is serviceable and enjoyable. Even more so considering the prevalence of mods.
The great quests, goofy AI, and interesting characters are what makes this game so good
When this game came out, it was praised for how its NPCs felt like "real people who made the world feel authentic and alive". I like to think about that from time to time.
The problem is bethesda never stepped their game up. They use the same mechanics and engine to this day all the way back from morrowind. The rendering is slightly better but trash company these days. It was cute back in 2006. Now its just sad (eso, fa76).
I remember thinking that whilst playing it myself now I watch this and it's a big laugh. Even remember that name Armond Christoff but don't remember if i got him
@@MrHeshtek Don't worry... they'll get him...
It was a different time back then, people were simpler
Quite embarrasing when you realise that it's still better than Cyberpunk 2077's NPCS
Things I learned from this video:
-Don't worry
-They'll get him
Can I help you?
I hope you learned something.
What a fool you are!
I'm a god! How can you kill a god?!
What a grand and intoxicating innocence!
How could you be so naive?
There is no escape!
No recall or intervention can work in this place!
Come, lay down your weapons!
It is not too late for my mercy.
Can I help you?
@Whiterun Guard havE yoU eVeR HeAr aBoUt the highT eLvEs????
The guy flies, swim in heavy armor, and can levitate people with his stare. He'll get him.
(:
@@gmail3662 Anything is possible if you truly believe.
Dude is oblivion version of a vader
@@gmail3662 "Can i help you?"
@@avalonjustin Anything but having girlfriend.
Such great detective work. They’ve already figured out that he’s hiding under the ship.
They deduced it from the ropes that guard was examining. They were torn up as the perpetrator struggled to climb down. The other guard following his colleague's trail of thought checked the bottom of the bow of the ship. Since he wasn't there that left the first guard with only one option: the aft. And that's how they found him.
Lmao
Armond did the mission for the old guy outside of the imperial city getting rumare slaughterfish scales so he been wearing the ring that let's you breathe underwater just hiding from the guards under the ship
Have you seen Armand Christophe?
Good thing they invest in the water breathing enchantments. Where would we be without our new amphibious guards?
Lmao when the guard in the water turned and locked the player in conversation, he actually froze the player in mid air. That's amazing.
It's not just that. All of time freezes when someone locks you in conversation like that in this game. If people are walking nearby or fighting they will literally freeze mid step or mid swing until you stop talking
The continuation of time itself depends on one conversation.
ZA WARUDOOOOOO!
Under the rule of the Septim Dynasty, the guards were straight up demigods
😭😭😭 lol that made the whole video at the end
😂😂When the second guard stopped running mid air, hesitated, then fell in the water...that was some straight up looney toon shit. Love it...haha
😂😂😂
He's drowning but still asking whether he can help you...I need people like these in my life.
Can I help you?
Can I help you?
Can I help you?
May I help you?
Me an intelectual:
Help you can I
“Don’t worry.” The Imperial guard said, submerged up to his neck. He fixed the hero with a determined stare. “We’ll get him.”
*Slowly sinks further into the water until he disappears*
Across the country, Christophe felt a chill run up his spine. The Imperial guard was coming.
Their determination is what blows my mind. Imperial guards never cease to amaze me
Hahahaha I'm dead
Lmao!!! You win best comment. Hilarious
Lol! That's perfect
Christophe*
0:28
*drowns*
"cAn I hElp yoU"
What a guy.
[submarine periscope slowly rises out of the water]
*HAVE YOU SEEN ARMAND CHRISTOPHE*
Ah yes the imperial watch. The strongest most intelligent of the land.
The most efficient guards ever
But they're in water now🤔
1비그 지 They're obviously trying to find HIM in the deep of the river.
If these are the smart ones, I'm scared to find out what the DUMB ones are doing.
Tyler Garrity The DUMB ones are probably asking the mud crabs and trees where Kristoff is while suffocating on the air.
The sound of him saying "can I help you" is one of the purest tones I've ever heard, as he emerges from the water to provide good customer service.
For me his tone seemed like "Don't you dare say anything..."
@@user-wb7ce7is3s that doesn't sound like a threatening tone in any way
Let's also notice that the only thing keeping the player from falling further into the water was apparently standing on him. What a guy.
guys, i've got a feeling they're not gonna get him
😂😂😂
Its like chess game, you dont see someone winning but hes already won
don't worry, they'll get him
Phew, thanks to the reassurance I am calmer now. I allready feared they might not find him. This non believe 🤨
Oh they will.
"Artificial intelligence will take the World!"
The
artificial intelligence:
lol
Can i help you?
That reminds me of the Mitchels versus the machines, where the roombas come to life to hurt the family and they all just fall down the escalator and die.
We laughed so hard cuz recently our roomba also tumbled down the steps
Don't worry. They'll take us.
Don't worry, swimming is part of our plan in order to get him!
Citizen: Was swimming part of your plan?
Imperial Watch: Of coursh!
Damit i Wanted to write that
Maybe ol' sheo turned him into a fish
@@lowqualityshitposts8860 cant wait to piss in your ears.
To bad he stole a horse and is is hammerfall now
I always avoided swimming near towns, because I once was swimming around and got really spooked when a guard was suddenly swimming right next to me. Bears and monsters have got nothing on "STAY SAFE CITIZEN" in unexpected.
Pretty sure I cracked a rib laughing as I thought about a situation like that in real life.
You're walking down the street that's long succumbed to darkness, it being way past midnight, and out of fucking *nowhere* a cop jumps out at you. "STAY SAFE CITIZEN!", he yells at you and then skiddadles away looking for his next unsafe seeming citizen to warn about street safety.
“Staying out of trouble I see?”
A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON
@@doichibrandose5137 you mean Bacon?
Trouble?
*Titanic:* "I have the most emotional scene of cinematic history."
*Tedd:* "Hold my oblivion."
Ladies and gentlemen: Your tax Septims hard at work.
"Don't worry, we'll get him."
*stares off into the unending abyss of uncertainty, for he knows his words were mere lies, fueled by optimistic hope*
I'm guessing that ship just brought a fresh batch of skooma.
You're welcome, 1000th like.
@@mattihelin5101 ASSUMING means you make an ASS out of U and ME.
Assuming means you make an ass out of u and ming.
IGGY GET OUT OF THERE, HE IS STILL ALIVE!
First they checked the sky, now they'll check the sea.
Don't worry, they'll get him!
Godamn.. These Guys don't fuck around
Better not go down there with them, or they'll sea you
Have you seen Armand Christophe?
@@flawedrevolver967 Imperial Guards certainly don't, you even touch an apple that doesn't belong to you they'll arrest you. You pick up a coin that doesn't belong to you anywhere in Cyrodiil - they'll know about it
@@JargonMadjin 😂
It's been almost 2 years. I wonder if they got him.
Probably not, since Armand Christophe is very good at hiding in plain sight 😂
@@RicoX-17 Don't worry.... they'll get him........
4years, still no word.
did they get him?
Don't worry folks, they'll get him eventually
I just love how the second guard just gives up on entering the ship and casually falls to the water
I love that there’s no commentary. Everything just....speaks for itself.
@CD Smith Don't worry, we'll get him.
Guard: "stop talking I've got my eye on you"
*it just works*
I can imagine a world where some nit-wit would shout over this work of art.
All you can do is watch with your mouth open both in disbelief and awe
With the way these guards are lollygagging about, he's probably stolen a horse and is halfway to Hammerfell by now.
While the Empire's nice and lazy. As long as he doesn't take an arrow to the knee.
The warriors of Hammerfell have curved swords. Curved. Swords.
Brandon Vistan manslayer is the best
I used to be an adventurer like you then someone stole my sweetroll
@@dirtysanchez9793 I can agree.
What a man, so determined for his cause, whether he is on land or sea.
When the imperial city guards show such level of incompetence walking into ships and wading around in the water like idiots that Armand Christophe actually gets comfortable and starts walking about openly...that's when they'll nab him.
*they’re doing their best.*
If that's their best I'm afraid of what their worst might be.
Bit they don't succeed
666th like 😈😈😈
Wojtek Ch and so we will see
Absolutely terrific use of they're and their. This is not a grammar critique. It is a glowing appraisal.
My favorite part of this quest is when the guards interrogate each other on if they've seen Armand
repeatedly
Don't worry. They'll get him.
Have you seen Armand Christophe?
I need that guard confidence and positive attitude
So this is where the Tamriel taxes go
Guard: Can I help you?
Me: I was about to ask you the same thing.
😂😂😂
Kkkkkkkkk
*Wipes a tear from my eye.
Go get him, champ.
"Can I help you?" As he's just there in heavy metal armour swimming.
I love how he stops you mid air to ask
0:31 "don't worry, we'll get him." *awkwardly avoids players gaze while doing nothing to get him*
Have you seen Armand Christophe?
He's clearly trying to tap into his telepathic abilities to locate the guy, you commit any crimes out of sight anywhere in Cyrodiil they still know about it, why do you think that is? Telepathy, fear them
I like how he just runs into you and falls into the water without a word
The man's just that professional
That part is so funny lol
i like the part where they’ll get him
Have you seen Armand Christophe?
UvuvwevwevweOnyetenyevweUgwemuhwemOssasVEVO why do you think Ni**as in Paris is called Ni**as in Paris?
The guard's face at 0:28 always gets me, he looks so expectant.
Also - don't worry, we'll get him.
I literally died when the player jumped into the water and the camera zoomed for the imperial watch saying can I help u 🤣🤣🤣
Literally?
*I'm sure they got him*
He must be underneath the ship!
Hiding from the Daedra
Maybe he is underwater
Dont worry, they get him
I think he turned himself in out of fear.
The way I see it these guys are masters at their jobs! They start by making sure Armand Christoph is not in on the shrouds or under the stairs... then transition the investigation to the water. This is investigative techniques at its finest!
Indeed, these guys are obviously pros.
To Be Fair, You Have To Have a Very High IQ to understand that the guards are actually looking for the guy on the best way possible, there is no joke here to laugh.
I’m also going to say this too. I watched the video over again and it turns out that not only are they top notch investigators but they are also professional divers.... I mean look at their form!
Have you seen Armand Christophe?
yeah the most difficult things to find is those which are right under your nose
I've never felt this reassured in my life
He's just being thorough and searching underwater too, this is actually very advanced AI.
The finest the imperial watch has to offer. Inspecting every corner, even under the boat.
"Dont worry, we'll get him."
"I dont know him and I dont care to know him."
"I dont care if he knows me."
It's not the AI we expected, but it's the AI we needed. Still giving us these moments years later.
"It just works"
-Todd Howard
I would fear a imperial guard,they jump in water in full plate armor just to investigate
well, the best way to surprise the enemy is to jump into the river with full plate armor and say to any adventurer who happens to investigate if you are still amongst the living that they shouldn't worry and that you will get the perpetrator. even if they are not in the water.
You laugh but Armand Krystoff is a merman.
ICantSplel
Christophe
@@vectro4284 check his name.
Username checks out
😓 Swing and a miss, I guess. Didn't care enough to look it up.
He can fly too.
Actual footage of some drunk guys who lost one of their friends after a party
But they know they’re all too hammered to do anything about it.
Aron Christophe is in deep...
👎
@@skeleton_ajay1118 damn why you do him like that
*Armand*
*Armaund*
Delete this
This game is a masterpiece.
It's a hilariously bad game.
@@makenziebrennan4027 No u
@Truth If that's true, I don't see how it got that.
@@makenziebrennan4027 NO
@@makenziebrennan4027 the game is good
Now we know why the Aldmeri Dominion took over.
loooooool
They too were looking for Armand Christophe.
And then you watch "If you're smart, you'll walk away"
"Dont worry, we´ll recover it" (Throws into the water)
The Imperials were too busy looking for Armand that they lost a war
From the lack of commentary to the succession of levitation, mindless ship abandonment, to the calm reassuring tone of the drowned, this is one of the funniest things I have ever seen and I hope to keep record of it
Hands down the very best video from Bacon. And one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I will never recover from how hard I was laughing when watching this, like 50 times.
"We've received some valuable Intel that the suspect might be lurking in any bodies of water. Get your swimming armor on boys."
My last 3 brain cells during an exam...
:D:D:D:D:DD:D:D:D:D::D . you made my day :D :D:D:D
Coming back to this 5 years later..... did they ever get him?
"Who lives in a Pinapple under the sea...Armand Christoph!"
Don't worry we'll get him!
I think this video perfectly encapsulates Oblivion in a nutshell.
if only our US military had the same level of theft awareness as the oblivion guard AI..
you steal a spoon in a cave near anvil and they hear about it in morrowind 0.0000002 seconds later.
Its all over lawbreaker, your spree is at an end!
Unlike Skyrim. No province cares about each other.
In Skyrim only the courier mastered these arts. He's the creepiest figure in all of TES anyways. He's probably some mighty dark lord who will put the world to an end in the TES 6.
@@stefan1924 maybe he is Sithis himself. That would explain a lot.
So they hear about it 200 nanoseconds later?
Brings a tear to my eye, to see those brave men get him
The oblivion guards need their own show!
This is one of the few channels where I watch literally every upload. Keep them coming because I rea- SOMEBODY! COME QUICKLY! WE'VE GOT A BURGLAR!
When is your “Your Welcome” cover coming out?
“Should have PAID THE FINE!”
The Act Man hello there
STOP! YOU HAVE VIOLATED THE LAW!! Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence!
WHAT'S up everybody, it's the act maaaaan here
You go get 'em, guard :)
You are the third comment
Oblivion is just one big fever dream and i love it
I think this video is a very good example of satirizing the government.
It is a video criticizing corrupt government officials who care about their own entertainment while pretending to listen to the voices of citizens......😔
“Is it a bug or a feature?” “Yes”
I see no issues here. They plan on chasing him by boat. Unfortunately, it's beached, so they got out to give it a push.
Guards: "Don't worry, we'll get him"
Him: 😳😖 **in the water under the ship**
And that my friends are the Empire's finest Guardsmen. The Daedra in Oblivion must be living in fear 😁
Honestly oblivion guards are op they can hear you stealing a apple from 10miles away and will chase you across the map and into a oblivion gate to arrest you
The guards were getting closer.
Kristof adjusted his elaborate boat disguise dispacing a few crates and bodily throwing a crewman overboard. The imperial guards would never be able to find him disguised as a 60 foot long 20 ton merchant ship with crew and cargo.
Well obviously they need to see if he's hiding on the ocean floor.
In this world it's actually possible. Armand could be wearing one of those rings that allows breathing underwater.
2 TONs of Armor and Dude still FLOATS.
0:28
Senpai of the pool, what is your wisdom?
"Can I help you?" *watches you from the water like a Mermaid*
When an elder scrolls video lasts less than minute, you know it's pure gold
It's a 10/10 game. You're showing me nothing less than perfection
Really fills me with confidence that they're going to get him
“I’ll make captain for this!”
I have full confidence that they'll get him.
The guy at the end seems to be thinking really hard about how exactly they’ll go about catching such a sneaky criminal
God the timing is all so perfect throughout 😂
0:33 look at those serious eyes, scanning the surface of the water left and right for his target. He'll get him...
They're always on duty.
That concerned look away at the end. He's thinking maybe, just maybe...they won't be able to get him.
"We've got our best men working the case."
There’s legit so much going on in this video, you have two guards running in place, one stuck on the stairs the other falling in the water, one guard floating and then falling into the water, a horse with its butt sticking up, truly a cursed video
I didn't even notice half the other crap going on😂Now I'm somehow laughing even harder
Don’t question the detective process
I have full faith in those guys.
-Have you ever heard of the High Elves?
-Don't worry, we'll get them
Thank you for this good laugh between the confusion of this website. 😁😁😁
0:28 that is a haunting look on his face
Don’t worry, that was intentional
Cyrodiil’s finest in action.
They are really great in their work - they said the would get him, and tried to find him everywhere: on the land, on the air, and underwater.
Dude just chillin in the water with full plate armour on.
*cam zooms in water*
-STOP! YOU VIOLATED THE LAW
Трамвай Валера lol, that's some requirem for a dream shit
Wow, they really put my worries at ease.
ive watched a bunch of these videos but this one fuckin SENT ME 🤣