This cleared some stuff for me. I have an avoidant attachment probably, not being able to get into relationships, I avoid asking for help. Because of that I manage to do most of the stuff just by myself. By working on myself both physically and mentally I don't get crushed by rejection as I used to before. At 27 without any relationship what so ever I've been alone for so long that I managed to be happy most of the time just by myself. I'd love to have a relationship. I just don't crave for it as I used to, because now I know it won't fix my problems and I don't feel lonely when I'm alone. I'd say just working on yourself and being satisfied with who you are will fix most of the stuff. You don't fear losing anyone because you're complete by yourself. And whatever you get from others is just extra that comes and goes. Thank you and I wish you all the best Penelope.
Great to hear from you! I found your channel last July and binged all your videos but I don't think I ever commented. I look forward to your next video
Hello! infp here, I think this was a good explanation and is a useful tool to use when dealing with this sort of problem... I recently scared off a potential partner with my Anxious Attachment by my "leechy" tendencies and have since undergone some serious introspection... I know... what a snooze fest! Jokes aside, this, alongside many other things (such as finding out i'm infp) have been useful tools to finding out who I am and hope anyone reading this knows that it takes time to grow (I like to use the analogy of a plant and how it needs water & sunlight etc.) Great videos btw! We're still learning and growing! Then again, when do we stop growing? Much love
Funny you said G. Cloony....his film 'Up in the Air' 2009 is about an avoidant attachment, maybe schizoid, character that lives a life constantly traveling for business with no roots. Check out the trailer.
Hey! Enjoy your videos. So...Is it possible to have a super mixed-up attachment style? For me I'm mostly the disorganized type (or even the avoidance style)when it comes to just normal relationships like frienship.I don't have close friends,I only hang with them to avoid the awkwardness and insecurity when I'm surrounded by a lot of people (maybe it's just my social anxiety idk)Deep down I don't really need em(u know, if they ask me out I'd say no)I'd be great if everyone could understand me and just leave me alone. But when it comes to someone special,I'm definitely the anxious type.Id become super needy and afraid of losing that specific person(It has to be someone super special to me,like my crush or something)I'd lose my mind for them and I'd be naive,like child. idk what happened to my childhood,can't really remember but there's nothing terrible so idk... Thanks for sharing anyway!
Nothing terrible needs to happen in childhood! Sometimes, our parents slip up even if they do their best 🙂 I would think you are disorganized if, in an intimate relationship (parents, a close friend, therapist, but most especially a lover) you alternate between avoidance and anxiety (even if you experience one more than the other) I should link up some ressources in the description box! Maybe a quiz? Ill do this later 😀
"Oh, wait a minute! My childhood actually was dreadful!" Great to get that wonderful perspective from you, Lola. We missed you!
Thank you! Always great to listen to you. And also very pleasent to the eyes...even though i was painting while listening.
This cleared some stuff for me. I have an avoidant attachment probably, not being able to get into relationships, I avoid asking for help. Because of that I manage to do most of the stuff just by myself. By working on myself both physically and mentally I don't get crushed by rejection as I used to before. At 27 without any relationship what so ever I've been alone for so long that I managed to be happy most of the time just by myself. I'd love to have a relationship. I just don't crave for it as I used to, because now I know it won't fix my problems and I don't feel lonely when I'm alone.
I'd say just working on yourself and being satisfied with who you are will fix most of the stuff. You don't fear losing anyone because you're complete by yourself. And whatever you get from others is just extra that comes and goes.
Thank you and I wish you all the best Penelope.
Great to hear from you! I found your channel last July and binged all your videos but I don't think I ever commented. I look forward to your next video
Oh really! That makes me very happy, thank you for telling me! 🌻
Hi Lola! Long time no see. Great to see you again!
Your videos got me through my Bachelor's degree. I wish you the best for your studies!
Oh thats so sweet 😀 thank you! I wish you the best too!
God bless your unique attention to recreate peoples attention.
very informative and insightful. Your authenticity is refreshing so I did watch till the end lol
Oh thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked it 👼
Hi! I watched until the end. :D
I probably have avoidance attachment, maybe even disorganized attachment. I think I need to do researches. :)
Oh thanks 😀 I've linked some ressources I like in the description box if ever you need some!!
Hello! infp here,
I think this was a good explanation and is a useful tool to use when dealing with this sort of problem...
I recently scared off a potential partner with my Anxious Attachment by my "leechy" tendencies and have since undergone some serious introspection... I know... what a snooze fest!
Jokes aside, this, alongside many other things (such as finding out i'm infp) have been useful tools to finding out who I am and hope anyone reading this knows that it takes time to grow (I like to use the analogy of a plant and how it needs water & sunlight etc.)
Great videos btw! We're still learning and growing! Then again, when do we stop growing? Much love
Oh I love your plant analogy; So true! I really believe that self-awareness is key; and you're already there! I wish you luck in your growth! 🌿🪴🌞💧
Funny you said G. Cloony....his film 'Up in the Air' 2009 is about an avoidant attachment, maybe schizoid, character that lives a life constantly traveling for business with no roots. Check out the trailer.
Hey! Enjoy your videos.
So...Is it possible to have a super mixed-up attachment style?
For me I'm mostly the disorganized type (or even the avoidance style)when it comes to just normal relationships like frienship.I don't have close friends,I only hang with them to avoid the awkwardness and insecurity when I'm surrounded by a lot of people (maybe it's just my social anxiety idk)Deep down I don't really need em(u know, if they ask me out I'd say no)I'd be great if everyone could understand me and just leave me alone.
But when it comes to someone special,I'm definitely the anxious type.Id become super needy and afraid of losing that specific person(It has to be someone super special to me,like my crush or something)I'd lose my mind for them and I'd be naive,like child.
idk what happened to my childhood,can't really remember but there's nothing terrible so idk...
Thanks for sharing anyway!
Can't believe I typed that much
Nothing terrible needs to happen in childhood! Sometimes, our parents slip up even if they do their best 🙂 I would think you are disorganized if, in an intimate relationship (parents, a close friend, therapist, but most especially a lover) you alternate between avoidance and anxiety (even if you experience one more than the other)
I should link up some ressources in the description box! Maybe a quiz? Ill do this later 😀
@@PenelopeLola Thank you!This really helps.Maybe I'll try a therapy someday
Disorganised attachment with bpd, cfs, adhd, depression and maladaptive daydreaming 😐
Lola we missed you:"""
Thank you 🙏 Im posting in a couple of days!!
@@PenelopeLola that's great news 😍😍
I have dismisve avoidant
Wow. You are beautiful, sweetie.
16:22 I don't do therapy.
I do plant medicine.
It's a lot quicker.
Just putting that out there.