Thank you for this. My struggles with "accept your lot and be content" and "I am so lonely" have been coming to a head, painfully so, throughout this last week. The clarity I've received from this word is a gift, and makes my heart exceedingly glad. Again, thank you. May the Lord continue to bless you and your ministry. In Jesus Christ's name, amen.
Guess you can only know his intentions if you really know him. From this, you can only consider his words. Are they true? Well then.....if it’s true, then it’s real. And if you’re already bent to misunderstand someone, you won’t actually hear them.
Greetings from Latvia! Amen, amen and amen. 🙏 Thank you for honesty by addressing this subject. I as 30 year old woman don't feel like my singleness is a gift, but more like a trial as I struggle with loneliness and lustful thoughts. However thank you for this message! 🙌
Hej, Hej. I’m a Finnish guy , who grew up in Estonia. Living in Germany now. Was wondering whether you’re interested to write/talk to me? Let me know. 😉
Hi, as i dropped a comment in the main, i Given All of Holy Scripture taken together (sola and Tota Scriptura); i must say This is a Gift of Affliction. As IT IS Written, "We are Blessed to Believe and Blessed to Suffer for Name's Sake."
Thank you for this video. I watched it sometime last year while I was struggling in my singleness. With this video and encouragement from the Lord, I started to pursue marriage more intentionally and God blessed me with a husband who truly loves the Lord and me. I felt like the church wasn’t supporting me in it as it should have, and I had nowhere to turn but to God and these videos. Thank you!
Thank you for this. Single, in my 30s, with a few failed dating relationships in my past, and having wanted to be married since my teens. Been a believer and serving the Lord for 10 years now, and I have learned to be content in singleness, and I have come to learn many good lessons from the Lord in my singleness. But the most harmful and damaging thing I've experienced has been the way that the Church treats singles who struggle with the loneliness and longings, as if we are some taboo, family embarrassment, and leave us to fend for ourselves in our personal difficulties. It's like the Church doesn't know how to handle it, similarly to not knowing what to say to someone when a loved one passes away. The Church is awkwardly equipped to care for singles, and the sins and pitfalls that plague single Christians are more damaging than ever.
I fully agree with you, Amadeus. Church should be deeply embedded into life. Many lukewarm Christians (including pastors) think church is show to be performed once a week, when we should be washing each other's feet.
Too often men ,when they date, don’t ask the questions of women that may well save their life, wealth, and potential children’s lives. Believe me, it is better to remain single than jump into the deep end with an untested, ungodly or contentious girl.
@@emmaaudu3461 not only unbelievers but also believers who have spiritual goals that aren't compatible. If God has called you to go overseas for missions half the year, and you're dating someone who is a homebody who hates traveling, you're gonna have a major conflict once married.
I am 29 and in a foreign land (Japan) which makes singleness even more stark. Its an affliction to me, such a distraction and it's very lonely. I do thank God for this season because I needed it with my past of fornication and adultery. Do I want this season to last until I go home, no but if it's an affliction that God wants in my life then I will trust Him.
The culture has convinced us that marriage is difficult and fraught with peril. Well, they’re right. But marriage is also sanctifying and the truth is we really don’t want to change. Jump in the deep end. You’ll figure out how to swim.
Being single feels soul-sucking and awful. And as a 36yo woman, I’ve hit my expiry date and now have to live the rest of my life in lonely 20/20 hindsight. Loneliness is incredibly painful. I never understood until a few years ago how solitary confinement was a form of torture. Now I know. It makes a person feel dead inside. Just awful. I wish Doug would talk about what to do if you’re older and dealing with this affliction. I’m unlikely to attract anyone after my “prime”.
Unless you’ve utterly let yourself go, that is totally untrue. I’m a 32 yo man and I’m in fact going to “shoot my shot” at a 36 yo woman I met at a conference a year ago, in just a few weeks. While she isn’t a twig, she has taken care of herself well enough and imo looks better now than she did as a teenager. What is attracting me to her is her character - spiritual discernment and zeal. If no one’s paying attention to you, it’s either because you’re throwing a pity party for yourself while being 60 lbs overweight and doing nothing to fix it, OR that when they talk to you they don’t see any sign of a mature faith that’s necessary in a life partner. You can’t change the men but you can change yourself. You ain’t dead yet. “Expired” is an excuse. Don’t accept it
Yep. 54 here. I will die alone. I don't have a place in the world. (Nor do I want one! ) But it seems these days, I don't have a place in the church, either. Everything is about marriage & motherhood. But if you try to talk about it, you're assumed to be "bitter." I'm not. I have married friends. I love & watch their children. I never talk about this issue to anyone. It's just painful and no one seems to address it.
This brings to mind the couple of disability support forums I participate in and the number of members of assorted genders, ages, and orientations, who are deeply despairing of ever having someone to love and hold and touch and share and snuggle with; there is a lot of deep pain and longing, hunger, starvation, out there.
@@KurtVogel88 There is Holy Spirit who equip us with needed patience. And God['s way are always the best for believers. Though it is an affliction, we might receive it gratefully and pray that, if God wills, it maybe taken away. Even if that one is solve, the world has a lot of trials and we must go through them with a thankful heart like excellent soldiers who have Jesus Christ as our might commander.
Wow! Why can’t this be mainstream Christian thinking in the church? As a man who got married when I was 45 I had to live for years enduring the pain of singleness. What made it worse was that the Christian married people I knew just couldn’t understand me and at times I was even chided if I expressed any discomfort with being single.
I don’t understand why it isn’t in mainstream churches either. I actually shared this same post with a couple from one of my previous churches. One of them discouraged me from desiring to be married. When I shared this with them, they were offended. I guess the reason why this #solidtruth is not in the mainstream church is because of the same reason most pastors don’t like to preach expository messages. The reason: they don’t want to offend. I think it’s a tragedy and we’ve got to stand for truth regardless of how it offends people.
As a never married person in my fifties I can definitely say that singleness has not been a good thing for me, sadly learning the truth about this late in life likely won’t matter now. I think that the suffering of long term singleness makes the thought of eventually dying much easier though.
I am 63 never married and richly blessed. I have been spared much. Peace and quiet rules my life. No sadness here. I missed nothing. I never had a strong urge to marry.
@@kate60 No one is criticizing you for your life of happy singleness it’s been very good for you but there are many Christian singles for whom your experience will never be a reality. Too often people too easily like to push their personal experience on someone else. The prolonged single who has no inclination toward singleness for a lifetime is often belittled and dismissed with the you can be happy and single too talk. Some singles have a hurt in life that you should be very thankful you have never known.
@@kate60 you are probably gifted for singleness and among the believers the Apostle Paul speaks of in 1 Corinthians 7. You need to realize not all long term single people have this gift!
I struggle with singleness. Had an emotionally abusive start in life. All my siblings have had emotional, relational or mental health issues and back in those days there was little awareness or help for those things. In mid forties now but I never heard Kate push her experience on anyone, just share it, as other people are doing here. I empathise with those who struggle st times too (used to find it hard to look at couples, now its just the pregnant tums) and really, really glad for Kate. All experiences are significant.
I know just how you feel, not too long ago the woman I loved whom I had known my whole life who I for sure knew would be my soul mate and always thought was Christian was in fact of the world and not of Jesus.
@Tony Rowan I think it is every basic Evangelical church and para church ministry in the 80s and 90s had that sentiment and teaching. Indeed, I was preparing myself for ministry and life overseas in some middle of nowhere outpost. It is a dagger in the heart when the same leadership that encouraged this have gone progressive or didn’t hold themselves to the same sexual morality they preached. Soo, we find ourselves: Protestant monks and monkettes are we. 😁
I really like the catchy music at the beginnings of all your different videos--Yes, I enjoy the content, too!--but is there anywhere that you have listed the sources/titles where I can find the complete songs? I would love to listen to them for my entertainment.
This episode is refreshing. Unfortunately I used to have a sinful attitude toward marriage as a reaction to my family background and my own ungodly ambitions. However, the Lord has renewed my thinking to the point that now I desire marriage and to father children. Though now I am faced with a lack of options. Within my church there are literally only two marriageable women who both are not viable for various reasons (e.g. one has no time due to personal career ambitions and the other has an unsavory irreverence that marks her). What is there for a 27 year old man in a small country church? Change churches?
If I may offer a counter. Perhaps a bit of devil advocacy but here's my observation. I know a lot of guys who married the first one that came along and are miserable now. I also look at the ones I once pinned for and realise I dodged a lot of bullets. So there's that. 0
One of the trends that this teaching fails to recognize is that there is a very real physical change with males. Men are not men in the way they used to be, due to declining testosterone. That's not about teaching or choice, and more likely about diet and environment.
I failed in my twenties, and was transferred from death to life a few years ago about when I turned 33 years of age. I am now taking full advantage of lack-of-distraction in order to train up and build a ministry career (because I can't really bring myself to not spend my time edifying the Body, not when this world is so dark and filthy and needs lighting and cleaning). I do not think I am becoming an old maid though, because when I have my income established I will be a catch for any woman who wants to submit to Christ. Aside from that single point, I very much agree with Doug, and I am not trying to delude myself in regard to my desire for a good wife. A good wife will be as much a help as a distraction; every time I meal prep or fix a meal I lose momentum in my day, but even that I use as a bit of downtime so I don't get burnt out; I'm doing my best here, by the grace of God.
I was twice divorced before I got saved and had come to the conclusion that my wife picker was broken. This probably isn't the conversation for me. I appreciate the match making efforts of my pastors wife, because I'm gun shy.
Doug, your insinuation (you may not have meant it; regardless, you at least accidentally insinuated it) at 6:48 that marriage will solve porn is DEATHLY. Be careful.
You don't know how right you are. The truth is that finding sexual release in marriage as opposed to porn is 2 different animals entirely. But what is deeper and darker isn't that marriage sanctifies sexual expression.. ...its the church and dougie and everyone he typifies is TERRIFIED AND ASHAMED TO THEIR VERY CORE OF ANY PLEASURE IN THIS LIFE BECAUSE OF THE CONCEPT OF ORIGINAL SIN AND TARSUS SAUL'S RAVINGS ABOUT HOW THE FLESH IS EVIL AND BECAUSE OF ORIGINAL SIN YOU JUST DONT DESERVE SEXUAL SATISFACTION/RELEASE IN THIS LIFE EXHIBIT A..WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HEARD AN HONEST SERMON ON THE SONG OF SONGS AND THE PASTOR DIDNT TRY TO GLOSS IT OVER AND CLAIM THAT BOOK WAS ONLY ABOUT GOD'S LOVE FOR US AND NOT ABOUT 2 PEOPLE WANTING TO FUCK?
@Jennifer Mugrage half credit for that response but you know if it wasn't the sick and twisted themselves twisting up what tarsus saul wrote then it was tarsus saul's writing that were twisted in the first place or have you not read Romans chapters 8 and 9
@Jennifer Mugrage if it was all figures of speech then why didn't tarsus saul SAY SO?????!!! why did saul just sit back and laugh at all the pain he knew he would cause down the road???
Go find the episode where dougie tells the wife that she is perfectly justified in divorcing her husband because of his liking of porn So much for marriage curing a man of lust
The sad irony is that you can actually derive this message from reading 1 Corinthians 7 soberly yet this is the singular source that has been used to create a singularity of singleness that sucks in every single unsuspecting single like a hit single that has a catchy tune but awful lyrics. Douglas Wilson has a 3 part sermon on this topic if you were interested in an extended version. Here's part 1: ruclips.net/video/GiVpPhbzE-0/видео.html
I like Doug Wilson a lot, and respect him immensely, but honestly, I'm kind of glad that I got married BEFORE listening to his many talks on the subject of marriage. Like many evangelicals, his approach to marriage is chiefly dutiful and utilitarian. Very little of what makes being wed an actually attractive proposition comes through in his many erudite admonitions; it's all dryly explained in terms of ultimatum-laced, almost mathematical rules respecting human behavior, mutual benefit, and sacrifice. He makes it sound more like joining the military than forming a spiritual union with another person. Again, though, that's consistent with the whole evangelical manner / approach toward Christianity. It's an approach that has much to recommend it, for sure, but it also tends to be off-putting with how coldly hardline it is. Women **love** talk like this, though. Nothing a woman likes more than men being shamed or scared into adoring them and taking care of them.
Idk man, I actually find deontological ethics to be inspiring. I’m interested in someone not because of how she makes me feel, but because I think we could multiply our strengths to accomplish the mission, and that her character affords the inspiration to think of leading her as a high calling and not a battle
@@cosmictreason2242 That's fine or you, I guess. Again, I regard that attitude toward marriage as less spiritual and more utilitarian, which is certainly not how I teach my daughters to perceive others, least of all potential life mates in Christ. In my experience, the Protestant conception of the relationship between God and man is largely (though certainly not entirely) like the relationship between a craftsman and his tool, or a painter and his brush, instead of the relationship between a master craftsman and a novice craftsman, or Leonardo da Vinci and a toddler with some crayons. I don't think that being made in the image of God, which we all are, warrants such a militaristic approach toward human behavior, which leads Christian leaders of that persuasion to come off as judicial interpreters of the Bible as some kind of instruction manual. *Some* of that is critical for peak Christian living, for sure, but there's much more to being creations of God than that.
Was with you until the last general statement about women that could be interpreted as suspicious in a rather blamey, Genesis 3, battle of the sexes, blue pill/red pill way when Christianity puts us above all that.
I really don't want to be called up before I do have sex. This is a great fear of mine. I was a bisexual man before I got saved but my biggest fear is not seeing that eedemption story arch (in the form of wife and kids) come full circle on this side. Does the Bible talk about these kinds of desires not being fulfilled without the gift of celibacy?
Exactly, I came to faith late in life in my 40’s and lived an immoral life . I’m now 50 and single . I don’t consider it a gift but more consequence of my sinful life .
I was single in the 1980s. I was constantly being told I was supposed to be content and not worry about getting married because you "need to get on fire for God". But I knew that wasn't for me.
Tell me the ways pragmatically singleness is an affliction and I will tell you pragmatically how marriage is an affliction. Likewise, tell me idealistically ways marriage is a gift and I will tell you idealistically the ways singleness is a gift. These are dark times. Biblically, the man is the leader responsible to love and care for his wife as he does his own body, but legally and pragmatically in these dark times the woman has all the power and is every bit as selfish as the man. Statistically speaking, she will divorce you for any reason and take your children away, half of everything plus alimony and child support-- even if she is the one who committed adultery against you! This is happening as much inside the church as outside. With the way things are these days, I would not wish marriage on my enemy. I am very thankful that God has left it up to a choice in the New Testament.
@@edodt4220 8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. This sums up the matter. You might consider though if you are trying to put chains where they don't belong.
If you can find a good Christian woman who had not been inculcated by modern feminism, then marriage is a fine idea. However, a lot of both men and women in the church have very secular and worldly ideas about relationships and marriage today, sadly. In that case, I'd say it's better to stay single. Proverbs 21:13 is a good verse to describe some relationships with feminists and their ilk: "Better to dwell in the wilderness, Than with a contentious and angry woman."
@@CuriousGeorge13 Church girls are feminist poison usually too. I found a good Christian woman, one that can be led, had a great relationship with her father, and honored him. Luckily she was a very recent convert and the church hadn't ruined her for marriage yet
@@buckaroobonsaitree7488 What do you think of over seas cultures? Are Asians less feminist or has America exported this poison globally? Maybe North Korea has some respectful women left?
By 23 is ridiculous as a benchmark. By 35 would be more reasonable. Its easy to be smug and tell others what they should do when you haven't been through family court.
Yes of course they can. Paul talks about those who have the gift of singleness, men and women, who can serve God exclusively and without distraction! Specifically 1 Corinthians 7:34.
@@cosmictreason2242 there was No Holy Scripture in that; you are leaning on your own understanding. i am Not Permitted to bite. Please refer to Holy Scipture in It's Given Context. May YHWH Bless You with the Gift of reasoning From HIS Word, rather than to It. CHRIST'S LOVE
@@Anthony-yy3kc Brother Anthony, Brother Anthony, Grace, Peace, n LOVE be Multiplied to You in KING YHWH YESHUA. The Tri-HOLY n Reigning KING Poor Out HIS Abundant LOVE n Grace on You that You may wonder why You're so Blessed, tho You Know, may It be That Deep n Broad. Very well done, that helps -being Fully Authoritative and Binding, You have been Used of YHWH This day to Edify HIS slave. Thanks and Praise to YaH
¿How can We say It's Not a Gift‽ Yes, i heard You! Lol How can We rightly, Given what GOD Says through Paul. i have to, in the Name of CHRIST to maintain Scriptural Balance call It -a Gift of Affliction. Which i tell You are of the Best Variety; without giving credentials. sDg
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
Thank you for this. My struggles with "accept your lot and be content" and "I am so lonely" have been coming to a head, painfully so, throughout this last week. The clarity I've received from this word is a gift, and makes my heart exceedingly glad. Again, thank you. May the Lord continue to bless you and your ministry. In Jesus Christ's name, amen.
My favorite thing about Doug is how REAL he is.
I'd say the opposite is true. His articles are full of groaners and attempts to be witty
Guess you can only know his intentions if you really know him. From this, you can only consider his words. Are they true? Well then.....if it’s true, then it’s real. And if you’re already bent to misunderstand someone, you won’t actually hear them.
Greetings from Latvia!
Amen, amen and amen. 🙏
Thank you for honesty by addressing this subject. I as 30 year old woman don't feel like my singleness is a gift, but more like a trial as I struggle with loneliness and lustful thoughts.
However thank you for this message! 🙌
Hi.
Can you travel?
Same .It's just that I am male though !
Hej, Hej. I’m a Finnish guy , who grew up in Estonia. Living in Germany now. Was wondering whether you’re interested to write/talk to me? Let me know. 😉
Hi, as i dropped a comment in the main, i Given All of Holy Scripture taken together (sola and Tota Scriptura); i must say This is a Gift of Affliction. As IT IS Written, "We are Blessed to Believe and Blessed to Suffer for Name's Sake."
Thank you for this video. I watched it sometime last year while I was struggling in my singleness. With this video and encouragement from the Lord, I started to pursue marriage more intentionally and God blessed me with a husband who truly loves the Lord and me. I felt like the church wasn’t supporting me in it as it should have, and I had nowhere to turn but to God and these videos. Thank you!
Thank you for this.
Single, in my 30s, with a few failed dating relationships in my past, and having wanted to be married since my teens.
Been a believer and serving the Lord for 10 years now, and I have learned to be content in singleness, and I have come to learn many good lessons from the Lord in my singleness.
But the most harmful and damaging thing I've experienced has been the way that the Church treats singles who struggle with the loneliness and longings, as if we are some taboo, family embarrassment, and leave us to fend for ourselves in our personal difficulties.
It's like the Church doesn't know how to handle it, similarly to not knowing what to say to someone when a loved one passes away.
The Church is awkwardly equipped to care for singles, and the sins and pitfalls that plague single Christians are more damaging than ever.
Same boat
I fully agree with you, Amadeus. Church should be deeply embedded into life. Many lukewarm Christians (including pastors) think church is show to be performed once a week, when we should be washing each other's feet.
Too often men ,when they date, don’t ask the questions of women that may well save their life, wealth, and potential children’s lives. Believe me, it is better to remain single than jump into the deep end with an untested, ungodly or contentious girl.
Very true, however I think a brother who studies the scriptures would know that the will of God is not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliver.
@@emmaaudu3461 not only unbelievers but also believers who have spiritual goals that aren't compatible. If God has called you to go overseas for missions half the year, and you're dating someone who is a homebody who hates traveling, you're gonna have a major conflict once married.
This is advice for men and women. Women should be testing the intentions and suitability of the men just as much.
Or to marry men like yourself who view themselves as a prize even with their STDs and hypocrisy of wanting a virgin
I am 29 and in a foreign land (Japan) which makes singleness even more stark. Its an affliction to me, such a distraction and it's very lonely. I do thank God for this season because I needed it with my past of fornication and adultery. Do I want this season to last until I go home, no but if it's an affliction that God wants in my life then I will trust Him.
The culture has convinced us that marriage is difficult and fraught with peril. Well, they’re right. But marriage is also sanctifying and the truth is we really don’t want to change. Jump in the deep end. You’ll figure out how to swim.
Being single feels soul-sucking and awful. And as a 36yo woman, I’ve hit my expiry date and now have to live the rest of my life in lonely 20/20 hindsight. Loneliness is incredibly painful. I never understood until a few years ago how solitary confinement was a form of torture. Now I know. It makes a person feel dead inside. Just awful.
I wish Doug would talk about what to do if you’re older and dealing with this affliction. I’m unlikely to attract anyone after my “prime”.
Unless you’ve utterly let yourself go, that is totally untrue. I’m a 32 yo man and I’m in fact going to “shoot my shot” at a 36 yo woman I met at a conference a year ago, in just a few weeks. While she isn’t a twig, she has taken care of herself well enough and imo looks better now than she did as a teenager. What is attracting me to her is her character - spiritual discernment and zeal. If no one’s paying attention to you, it’s either because you’re throwing a pity party for yourself while being 60 lbs overweight and doing nothing to fix it, OR that when they talk to you they don’t see any sign of a mature faith that’s necessary in a life partner. You can’t change the men but you can change yourself. You ain’t dead yet. “Expired” is an excuse. Don’t accept it
Yep. 54 here. I will die alone. I don't have a place in the world. (Nor do I want one! ) But it seems these days, I don't have a place in the church, either. Everything is about marriage & motherhood. But if you try to talk about it, you're assumed to be "bitter." I'm not. I have married friends. I love & watch their children. I never talk about this issue to anyone. It's just painful and no one seems to address it.
I appreciate Doug Wilson’s clarity so much.
This brings to mind the couple of disability support forums I participate in and the number of members of assorted genders, ages, and orientations, who are deeply despairing of ever having someone to love and hold and touch and share and snuggle with; there is a lot of deep pain and longing, hunger, starvation, out there.
Sounds like a cruel god to inflict that on people.
@@KurtVogel88 There is Holy Spirit who equip us with needed patience. And God['s way are always the best for believers. Though it is an affliction, we might receive it gratefully and pray that, if God wills, it maybe taken away. Even if that one is solve, the world has a lot of trials and we must go through them with a thankful heart like excellent soldiers who have Jesus Christ as our might commander.
@@mwizerwaolivier6880 yes the old argument that contentment in Jesus is enough. Let the affliction be accepted by learning patience. It's all wrong...
Wow! Why can’t this be mainstream Christian thinking in the church? As a man who got married when I was 45 I had to live for years enduring the pain of singleness. What made it worse was that the Christian married people I knew just couldn’t understand me and at times I was even chided if I expressed any discomfort with being single.
I don’t understand why it isn’t in mainstream churches either. I actually shared this same post with a couple from one of my previous churches. One of them discouraged me from desiring to be married. When I shared this with them, they were offended. I guess the reason why this #solidtruth is not in the mainstream church is because of the same reason most pastors don’t like to preach expository messages. The reason: they don’t want to offend. I think it’s a tragedy and we’ve got to stand for truth regardless of how it offends people.
As a never married person in my fifties I can definitely say that singleness has not been a good thing for me, sadly learning the truth about this late in life likely won’t matter now. I think that the suffering of long term singleness makes the thought of eventually dying much easier though.
Wow, I too am in my late fifties and never married. I totally feel the same way.
I am 63 never married and richly blessed. I have been spared much. Peace and quiet rules my life. No sadness here. I missed nothing. I never had a strong urge to marry.
@@kate60 No one is criticizing you for your life of happy singleness it’s been very good for you but there are many Christian singles for whom your experience will never be a reality. Too often people too easily like to push their personal experience on someone else. The prolonged single who has no inclination toward singleness for a lifetime is often belittled and dismissed with the you can be happy and single too talk. Some singles have a hurt in life that you should be very thankful you have never known.
@@kate60 you are probably gifted for singleness and among the believers the Apostle Paul speaks of in 1 Corinthians 7. You need to realize not all long term single people have this gift!
I struggle with singleness. Had an emotionally abusive start in life. All my siblings have had emotional, relational or mental health issues and back in those days there was little awareness or help for those things. In mid forties now but I never heard Kate push her experience on anyone, just share it, as other people are doing here. I empathise with those who struggle st times too (used to find it hard to look at couples, now its just the pregnant tums) and really, really glad for Kate. All experiences are significant.
This was a good perspective. Honest , but humble.
I went to churches to find girls. God saved me first, then gave me a wife.
Many women are saved and in church. They are still hoping to find a man. Reality is this may never happen and many churches deny this reality.
Yeah that's pretty much what happened to me too haha
How good for you but not the story for many others.
@@johnz4328 God calls us individually. Blessings.
@@Emuller05 Yup. Blessings.
I'm afflicted! I use the time to devote to serving the lord and learning more about the word. Sure would like someone to share this with though!
That's what I feel, affliction. Every woman I meet says she's Christian but doesn't know the Bible and lives in the world. I feel tormented.
I am sorry about that, I am surrounded by unbelievers in Japan and I am a foreigner so no chance of finding a husband here
I know just how you feel, not too long ago the woman I loved whom I had known my whole life who I for sure knew would be my soul mate and always thought was Christian was in fact of the world and not of Jesus.
@@heaven9378 I am in Japan and single too; and I've met believers (male counterparts) have the same problem! Even their church seems to do not care!
true and clear as the daylight!
"Men turn into old maids faster than women" an excellent observation.
Hi Jwags, may YHWH Bless You m Keep You, Brother. Please share with me what You two mean when You say that.
@@Chirhopher men are more quickly to get used to single life and become bitter and lonely than women are.
I wish I would have heard this in my early 20's when I was attending an Evanjellyfish-ish church.
same
Same
@Tony Rowan I think it is every basic Evangelical church and para church ministry in the 80s and 90s had that sentiment and teaching. Indeed, I was preparing myself for ministry and life overseas in some middle of nowhere outpost. It is a dagger in the heart when the same leadership that encouraged this have gone progressive or didn’t hold themselves to the same sexual morality they preached. Soo, we find ourselves: Protestant monks and monkettes are we. 😁
@Tony Rowan rush creek in Arlington tx
@Tony Rowan the last part of your story was the least surprising part.
I really like the catchy music at the beginnings of all your different videos--Yes, I enjoy the content, too!--but is there anywhere that you have listed the sources/titles where I can find the complete songs? I would love to listen to them for my entertainment.
Really good stuff, Douglas.
This episode is refreshing. Unfortunately I used to have a sinful attitude toward marriage as a reaction to my family background and my own ungodly ambitions. However, the Lord has renewed my thinking to the point that now I desire marriage and to father children. Though now I am faced with a lack of options. Within my church there are literally only two marriageable women who both are not viable for various reasons (e.g. one has no time due to personal career ambitions and the other has an unsavory irreverence that marks her).
What is there for a 27 year old man in a small country church? Change churches?
I am single for life and therefore celibate for life! But I don't think I see it as affliction or a problem. It's just who I am as a person!
If I may offer a counter. Perhaps a bit of devil advocacy but here's my observation. I know a lot of guys who married the first one that came along and are miserable now. I also look at the ones I once pinned for and realise I dodged a lot of bullets.
So there's that. 0
One of the trends that this teaching fails to recognize is that there is a very real physical change with males. Men are not men in the way they used to be, due to declining testosterone. That's not about teaching or choice, and more likely about diet and environment.
Another great one
I failed in my twenties, and was transferred from death to life a few years ago about when I turned 33 years of age. I am now taking full advantage of lack-of-distraction in order to train up and build a ministry career (because I can't really bring myself to not spend my time edifying the Body, not when this world is so dark and filthy and needs lighting and cleaning). I do not think I am becoming an old maid though, because when I have my income established I will be a catch for any woman who wants to submit to Christ. Aside from that single point, I very much agree with Doug, and I am not trying to delude myself in regard to my desire for a good wife. A good wife will be as much a help as a distraction; every time I meal prep or fix a meal I lose momentum in my day, but even that I use as a bit of downtime so I don't get burnt out; I'm doing my best here, by the grace of God.
As a man you have the privilege to go 10 years younger, so it’s a little easier for you anyway
I was twice divorced before I got saved and had come to the conclusion that my wife picker was broken. This probably isn't the conversation for me. I appreciate the match making
efforts of my pastors wife, because I'm gun shy.
Doug, your insinuation (you may not have meant it; regardless, you at least accidentally insinuated it) at 6:48 that marriage will solve porn is DEATHLY. Be careful.
You don't know how right you are. The truth is that finding sexual release in marriage as opposed to porn is 2 different animals entirely.
But what is deeper and darker isn't that marriage sanctifies sexual expression.. ...its the church and dougie and everyone he typifies is TERRIFIED AND ASHAMED TO THEIR VERY CORE OF ANY PLEASURE IN THIS LIFE BECAUSE OF THE CONCEPT OF ORIGINAL SIN AND TARSUS SAUL'S RAVINGS ABOUT HOW THE FLESH IS EVIL AND BECAUSE OF ORIGINAL SIN YOU JUST DONT DESERVE SEXUAL SATISFACTION/RELEASE IN THIS LIFE
EXHIBIT A..WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HEARD AN HONEST SERMON ON THE SONG OF SONGS AND THE PASTOR DIDNT TRY TO GLOSS IT OVER AND CLAIM THAT BOOK WAS ONLY ABOUT GOD'S LOVE FOR US AND NOT ABOUT 2 PEOPLE WANTING TO FUCK?
@Jennifer Mugrage ok......but does the unrepentant unregenerate have a right to ENJOY A GOOD FUCK JUST FOR THE SAKE OF A GOOD FUCK?
@Jennifer Mugrage half credit for that response but you know if it wasn't the sick and twisted themselves twisting up what tarsus saul wrote then it was tarsus saul's writing that were twisted in the first place or have you not read Romans chapters 8 and 9
@Jennifer Mugrage if it was all figures of speech then why didn't tarsus saul SAY SO?????!!! why did saul just sit back and laugh at all the pain he knew he would cause down the road???
Go find the episode where dougie tells the wife that she is perfectly justified in divorcing her husband because of his liking of porn
So much for marriage curing a man of lust
I'd really like to hear what the church should day about pregnancy and children
Good episode. Another group of singles are widowers…
The sad irony is that you can actually derive this message from reading 1 Corinthians 7 soberly yet this is the singular source that has been used to create a singularity of singleness that sucks in every single unsuspecting single like a hit single that has a catchy tune but awful lyrics.
Douglas Wilson has a 3 part sermon on this topic if you were interested in an extended version. Here's part 1: ruclips.net/video/GiVpPhbzE-0/видео.html
I like Doug Wilson a lot, and respect him immensely, but honestly, I'm kind of glad that I got married BEFORE listening to his many talks on the subject of marriage.
Like many evangelicals, his approach to marriage is chiefly dutiful and utilitarian. Very little of what makes being wed an actually attractive proposition comes through in his many erudite admonitions; it's all dryly explained in terms of ultimatum-laced, almost mathematical rules respecting human behavior, mutual benefit, and sacrifice. He makes it sound more like joining the military than forming a spiritual union with another person.
Again, though, that's consistent with the whole evangelical manner / approach toward Christianity. It's an approach that has much to recommend it, for sure, but it also tends to be off-putting with how coldly hardline it is.
Women **love** talk like this, though. Nothing a woman likes more than men being shamed or scared into adoring them and taking care of them.
Idk man, I actually find deontological ethics to be inspiring. I’m interested in someone not because of how she makes me feel, but because I think we could multiply our strengths to accomplish the mission, and that her character affords the inspiration to think of leading her as a high calling and not a battle
@@cosmictreason2242 That's fine or you, I guess. Again, I regard that attitude toward marriage as less spiritual and more utilitarian, which is certainly not how I teach my daughters to perceive others, least of all potential life mates in Christ.
In my experience, the Protestant conception of the relationship between God and man is largely (though certainly not entirely) like the relationship between a craftsman and his tool, or a painter and his brush, instead of the relationship between a master craftsman and a novice craftsman, or Leonardo da Vinci and a toddler with some crayons. I don't think that being made in the image of God, which we all are, warrants such a militaristic approach toward human behavior, which leads Christian leaders of that persuasion to come off as judicial interpreters of the Bible as some kind of instruction manual. *Some* of that is critical for peak Christian living, for sure, but there's much more to being creations of God than that.
Was with you until the last general statement about women that could be interpreted as suspicious in a rather blamey, Genesis 3, battle of the sexes, blue pill/red pill way when Christianity puts us above all that.
I really don't want to be called up before I do have sex. This is a great fear of mine. I was a bisexual man before I got saved but my biggest fear is not seeing that eedemption story arch (in the form of wife and kids) come full circle on this side. Does the Bible talk about these kinds of desires not being fulfilled without the gift of celibacy?
The speaker has used the word “young” over & over & over. Why does he assume that ALL singles are young???
Exactly, I came to faith late in life in my 40’s and lived an immoral life . I’m now 50 and single . I don’t consider it a gift but more consequence of my sinful life .
I was single in the 1980s. I was constantly being told I was supposed to be content and not worry about getting married because you "need to get on fire for God". But I knew that wasn't for me.
Tell me the ways pragmatically singleness is an affliction and I will tell you pragmatically how marriage is an affliction. Likewise, tell me idealistically ways marriage is a gift and I will tell you idealistically the ways singleness is a gift. These are dark times. Biblically, the man is the leader responsible to love and care for his wife as he does his own body, but legally and pragmatically in these dark times the woman has all the power and is every bit as selfish as the man. Statistically speaking, she will divorce you for any reason and take your children away, half of everything plus alimony and child support-- even if she is the one who committed adultery against you! This is happening as much inside the church as outside. With the way things are these days, I would not wish marriage on my enemy. I am very thankful that God has left it up to a choice in the New Testament.
@@edodt4220 8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. This sums up the matter. You might consider though if you are trying to put chains where they don't belong.
If you can find a good Christian woman who had not been inculcated by modern feminism, then marriage is a fine idea. However, a lot of both men and women in the church have very secular and worldly ideas about relationships and marriage today, sadly. In that case, I'd say it's better to stay single. Proverbs 21:13 is a good verse to describe some relationships with feminists and their ilk: "Better to dwell in the wilderness, Than with a contentious and angry woman."
@@CuriousGeorge13 Church girls are feminist poison usually too. I found a good Christian woman, one that can be led, had a great relationship with her father, and honored him. Luckily she was a very recent convert and the church hadn't ruined her for marriage yet
@@buckaroobonsaitree7488 What do you think of over seas cultures? Are Asians less feminist or has America exported this poison globally? Maybe North Korea has some respectful women left?
@@YTTraveler777 that’s nothing more than a mix of escapism and fetishism.
Powerful!
If singleness is an affliction, does God promise a provision out?
Young men should get married by their 23rd birthday... Wish I could have been, 25 now.
If you wait too much longer the 19 year olds will start to get a little too young
@@cosmictreason2242 I'm not the one waiting...
@@cosmictreason2242 That's ok because he won't stay 19 either, in fact, has gone beyond that already.
why cant we say that GOD Commands something we are not capable of? He does this regularly -not as a tyrant, man is fallin
By 23 is ridiculous as a benchmark. By 35 would be more reasonable. Its easy to be smug and tell others what they should do when you haven't been through family court.
Can women have the gift of celibacy? -please support with Holy Script
The same passage. It’s not exclusive to one sex
Yes of course they can. Paul talks about those who have the gift of singleness, men and women, who can serve God exclusively and without distraction! Specifically 1 Corinthians 7:34.
@@cosmictreason2242 there was No Holy Scripture in that; you are leaning on your own understanding. i am Not Permitted to bite. Please refer to Holy Scipture in It's Given Context. May YHWH Bless You with the Gift of reasoning From HIS Word, rather than to It. CHRIST'S LOVE
@@Anthony-yy3kc Brother Anthony, Brother Anthony, Grace, Peace, n LOVE be Multiplied to You in KING YHWH YESHUA. The Tri-HOLY n Reigning KING Poor Out HIS Abundant LOVE n Grace on You that You may wonder why You're so Blessed, tho You Know, may It be That Deep n Broad. Very well done, that helps -being Fully Authoritative and Binding, You have been Used of YHWH This day to Edify HIS slave. Thanks and Praise to YaH
Mental illness
¿How can We say It's Not a Gift‽ Yes, i heard You! Lol How can We rightly, Given what GOD Says through Paul.
i have to, in the Name of CHRIST to maintain Scriptural Balance call It -a Gift of Affliction. Which i tell You are of the Best Variety; without giving credentials. sDg