Just Ask loved this! i personally love intjs too and find them fascinating as an infp! i hope you will do more videos on this particular pairing as i would like to know more how a relationship between them would work!☺😊
I don't mean to be rude, but you are coming of as too self-indulgent in this video. It seems like you purposely annoy or irritate your boyfriend just to get him to show his soft side. Not a behavior acceptable from a mature and understanding partner.
It's funny because I'm an INFP and one of my managers is INTJ, one day people suddenly started saying we love each other and I was like "what?wtf?" the only 3 phrases he ever spoke to me are "Hello" "Please give your resignation letter" "you have no brains" in two years working with him. I like him even if he scares me with his dead stare ^^
As an INFP I can confirm that I'm a good listener and replyer. Though I have difficulty initiating a conversation. It's like not knowing how to light a match but knowing how to fan a fire.🤣
INFP married to INTJ. He is incredibly romantic in an oblivious way. Think Mr. Darcy from Pride & Prejudice. The best relationship either of us has ever had. He is 57. I am 47.
As an INTJ, I can explain why INTJ's don't share any emotions/affection even if we can have a whole bunch of it. It's because, even if we like to feel emotions and affection, we still view these as vulnerabilities, weaknesses. If we share them with other people, we are in danger of being betrayed/hurt very deeply. So we only share them with people we trust 100%. With those people, we will be a very different person, the "real person inside".
Agree, and I would also add that we need to know 'why' we should be sharing our emotions. I, myself, have almost zero inclination to share my feelings and emotions and have to force myself to be affectionate both physically and verbally towards my INFP boyfriend. Literally, on a schedule, like making sure I say something kind and I give some forehead kisses twice, maybe three times a day
INTJ here, male, and I concur. It's not that I think emotions make you weak-I don't, and feelers are my favourite people: but it's that I KNOW the wrong people will use them against me. Thus I keep them hidden from most.
I am an INFP and my BF is an INTJ, we have been together for 8 years, and I must say it's a perfect relationship. The key is to communicate and be blunt, if you INFP have problems or sour feelings, tell that right away, don't wait another day, INTJ may look indifferent but they listen to you very well if you communicate, bottling up feeling will make it worse.
I am still learning this with my INTJ BF. As an INFP its hard for me to just plainly state what I am feeling, so I'd hold off on saying anything. Turns out he is so observant that he picked up on it and it always made things worse. So even if I don't know what to say, I just blurt out feelings to help him (and me) figure out my brain.
Agree so much that INTJs are very feely and sensitive with those chosen few close people. We are verrrry picky with who we want in our lives and of course their opinions matter and we care about them big time.
So ......my intj bf said he loves me several months back and it's been gushy since....until recently.....even I say I love you it's like he avoids the sentiment.....should ....I be worried.....it hurts ( enfp girl speaking) plus the gushy level isn't there anymore just normal conversation if I say something sweet he avoids it . One time in an unrelated conversation he said sweet things are usually empty and just said bc ppl feel they have to say them not bc they want to.....made me question in relation to maybe how he views us? He still talks of the future we have regular communication he calls me pretty, but he use to say he thinks I'm smart and beautiful and that I'm perfect, that he loves me.....that , and to quote, " I feel like I wanna share you with the world, and at the same time I hide you away only for myself " or that I won't always be physically attractive but my mind will always be beautiful to him. Such verbal not sentiments have stopped I don't push him on it....but a part of me is confused .....
Phoebe Sanchez Just like any relationship you need to communicate. Ask him things if you are confused about any part of the relationships. You’ll never know from a third party. You’ll always be wondering .(signed an infp that had to learn to communicate).
Phoebe Sanchez I’m not sure of your complaints about being called pretty. Beautiful and pretty sound like the same thing to me. XD at least he’s still complimenting you instead of nothing at all. That is when I would worry.
@@phoebesanchez8915 as a female INTJ I feel like it depends on the person, I would go way out of my comfort zone to do things like that because I really care about the person, if it is their way of showing love. And yah it is a real thing, I don’t take compliments or things like that because it’s so empty. I only compliment people as politeness. For us INTJs our language of love is “ service”. If we love you we will do things for you. - I think you can just tell him that it’s your way of showing and feeling love.
I am an intj female and I hardly have interest in any guy but recently i read a lot about infp's and developed a little crush on this type I would love to meet an infp guy oneday 😅💕
@@sunflowersandroses2521 what do you think about intj male? Is an option? Like intj i look females intj so sexy and intelligent but this happen after i grow my personality and have 24 years old
@@newage9123 Intj males are smart but they somehow have a cold personality They're so practical and firm too but what I like about them is their honesty they are always straightforward and good at communicating ...that's the impression I got from an INTJ male I dated before.
Definitely needed this video. I'm an INTJ female and have an INFP male trying to seduce me. He very quickly learned to create opportunities for me to express my feelings in a personalized manner. When I speak about my feelings I refer to them in an objective and vague manner. I'm a little surprised how quickly he started creating situations for me to express myself. Our cultural difference is a bit of a challenge (I'm biracial: black and white and he's Chinese). We're pretty similar which is weird. I find we battle for utility, it's the craziest thing. I find myself trying to outdo him. We both share the love language of acts of service so I think our interactions are just use doing shit for each other. If I'm upset and my ADD is going crazy while I'm upset, he'll casually video call me from work. He'll drop whatever he's doing to make sure I'm okay. I'm used to being so independent and having him invading that independent and me learning to depend on him is really hard. It's a super weird relationship to say the least and I'm not even dating him (yet).
Hello from INTJ female dating INFP male! Our first love language is quality time and we feel so comfortable around each other that can easily stay inside the while day, just the two of us. We also love talking (definitely not small talks), so all our conversations are usually about our universes in our heads. We are both inexperienced in relationships, but our honesty and understanding of introverted nature that we share probably make it work. Idk why, but our dynamic workes like in video, but vice versa. I am a cat in our relationship - going out alone, suddenly becoming silent and reserved, staring into darkness with that "dead-ass stare" as he calls it, then suddenly changing my mind and becoming extra clingy and affectionate. However, he is more of a loving puppy - clinging to me, asking how I am every hour, sending cute texts and humbly listening to my theories and crazy thoughts. He is always happy to accompany me in every little trip and likes just hanging around. And I appreciate that in him a lot. The most important thing that we are not afraid of being vulnerable in front of each other, I rarely saw guys so caring and sensitive like him, and that works very wonderfully for such person as me.
@@purebredyeeternity780 so good to read this. Many infps come to me and the latest infp person is just so mature . He is trying to win me and I think I should go for it. I am the cat and he is my dog that I wanted. Many times he is going on about feelings and I just have to say 'yes' or 'me too' . Feelings and emotions are what that I find hard to express, or think about. He makes my job easy this way. Good this one no longer vanishes into nowhere suddenly. That is a problem with many infps.
INFP Male married to a INTJ female, and honestly its paradise. We spend so much meaningful time together yet we don't make it weird when we need to just do our own thing, many other couples are actually weirded out how much space we can give each other. Only thing we gotta watch out for is it is very easy for us to accidentally talk each other out of social events we have planned.. :P something we watch out for... Regardless great video!
I am a female INTJ and my boyfriend is an INFP. We have an amazing relationship. We do have our snags though because I don't understand some social rules as well as me sometimes not understanding what will hurt him emotionally. We are huge on communication because of this. We have to have extremely open communication because of the way both of our personalities are. But you are so right about the fact that we don't care about a lot of people but when we care and are in a relationship with someone we turn to a totally different person. We will do anything in our power to make the other happy. This doesn't usually happen with most of my relationships but if I love someone it absoultly does. Now other than learning how to mesh our personalitys together emotionally (mostly me learning how to make sure what I do works with him emotionally) we work amazing together because we are able to ground each other. My thinking comes from a calculated logical standpoint and his comes from an emotional one. I am able to give him advice from that logical state and he can do the same from the emotional state. We help balance each other out in a way that works really well. I am not always so emotional in they way you say he is with you but I tend to go through fits of that emotion randomly. But no matter what I would always do anything to make him happy and secure as I believe he would do so for me. This relationship is the best one I've ever been in.
hello, infp here! I noticed a lot of intj’s have commented feeling like an infp would drain them and be annoying and i just wanted to say a few words. first of all, as you all are not all the same, neither are we. while yes I agree on the sensitivity part, I for one am open to understanding especially with a partner. we may think with our feelings but that does not mean we are oblivious to logic. I in fact quite love the logical side of the intj’s. it is what attracts me to them. they balance me out and ground me in reality, which I appreciate since I am a vivid dreamer. most of us, I am assuming, are not intending to mess with your feelings, but rather we strive to bring balance in relationships we have. we like the harmony and so we are accommodating in what we do and how we act. we understand the need for space and the time away as introverts. and while I am one for lots of affection, and I may say it quite often or randomly, I don’t expect if back unless you mean it and I won’t push it on you if you don’t want it. we get there are multiple ways to say I love you, and we love to see through exteriors. so if you will, please don’t bash us if you don’t know all of us. we are all splendid in our own way as are you all.
I am one INTJ who was annoyed by this video. However, my comment was particularly directed at the way this INFP youtuber painted the picture of the INFP INTJ relationship. I didn't mean all INFPs are the same or anything like that. Iam not against INFP INTJ relationships in general. Just never liked the description given in this video. Nothing more
Interesting perspective and much appreciated. Speaking for myself as an INTJ female, you are correct that once we love someone there is nothing we won't do for them - after they directly inform us that we need to do it. And while it is true that we can withstand verbal/emotional bullets from multiple sources without even recognizing the shots, much less being harmed by them, the very small number of people we have allowed into our internal fortress have the power to absolutely destroy us with ease. It is why we take forever to trust someone and let them in. If your INTJ boyfriend is sensitive to your feedback, you are definitely in his heart. Be gentle.
INTJs are the Gentle Giants 🥰 My Husband is an INTJ I'm an INFP-T and he calms me and makes me feel important 😍😍🥰🥰♥️ I LOVE THIS MAN ‼️🌺 Lol. This sounds just like us, I can be alone, but he loves my presence ❤ ♥ The rocky part comes from me too 😅 He's so mature and stoic.
I’m an infp female married to an intj male. There are a lot of things that annoy me about him but those same things really weirdly turn me on 😭 I just wanna hug him and slap him at the same time lol 😂
I am the INTJ and my husband is the INFP. When you said that once you break an INFP’s trust, it takes years to build it back. That’s true with hurting an INFP too. Our kids struggle with that with him. Two of them our from my previous marriage, but he came into their life when they were young and he is Dad to them. But kids will mess up and do things wrong. There kids, they are immature and still learning. So it’s common for parents to get hurt by their kids and we forgive. But my INFP husband struggles with this. He holds onto every hurt and will use it as a wall against his relationship with the kids, when he is going through his emotional down time. The kids want his trust in their relationship with him. We are still trying to figure out how to build this, building an INFP’s trust in their relationship with their kids. So I am currently researching this topic. In romantic relationship it’s easier to build trust with an INFP. But in step-children or children and parents, it doesn’t seem to be so easy.
Here's a tip from infp: you CANNOT reconcile infp through the idea that they should reconcile, it has to be through consistently good concrete experience. I think that's the primary difference of Ni-Se INTJ and Ne-Si INFP. You imagine stuff you should do, while we imagine stuff _others_ would do. Push the infp to do physical family activities with the kids together, until the infp can perceive pattern of what the kids would do that's safe (not a threat to his identity) and preferably even fun with him. TL;DR don't coax us through our Ne, it's almost never work. Do it through Si instead.
My best friend is INFP and I'm an INTJ. It's insane how well we get along, I've never had a friend that I actually connect with. She has to put up with so much of my shit 😅
@@murdermitts8271 We feel you guys put up with so much of our shit lol. We look to you for advice, we are scatter-brained and reactive. You guys are level headed and loyal. ⚘🌹🌷🌻🌼🌺
Sigh. It was kind of odd seeing myself turning into a weird, affectionate and sweet when I am in a relationship. You surely hit on the spot, but this is way too much information... :(
My INTJ bf always says I love you too! I was like "wait....I'm the INFP I should be saying that to YOU not you to me" lol he says it a lot and is super affectionate. I thought that would be me...
Considering the relative rarity of, and the strong familial and social connections you have had with INTJs, it is no wonder you are (to me) the most insightful, truthful and revelatory source of this (rather esoteric) information in the vast sea of chaos that is the internet. Thank you again for your knowledge that so often hits me like a ton of bricks. I look forward to your next video.
Friendships with INTJ are very rewarding experience for me as a INFP. Thanks to them I learned to organize better my crazy of a rollercoaster mind.😄 And in turn I will help them to be more open about their own emotions. I do have a sweet spot for INTJ regarding friendships. I can't help but wanting to want to help them.( If I think about this logically it does sound like I am a busy body. 😃 But I never had a INTJ tell me to go away, perhaps I am lucky or just because I know by instinct they need alot of personal space and not to be forced out to open up. They do that in their own time and most are not as harsh as they sound)
I'm an INTJ woman going on a date with an INFP man (this weekend). My longest friendship is also with an INFP (23+ years). I think the dynamic might be a little different for a male INTJ, but I know most INTJ guys to be sensitive, good-natured people. I wanted to comment the caveats about dating someone who experienced abuse. My youth was very abusive, I stayed as long as I could to protect my brother and I was later treated for PTSD. I think I was always a sensitive and gentle person nonetheless.I think if an INFP is also on the verge of dating an INTJ who may have experienced abuse, to still give it a chance. We're not our parents. In my case, keeping contact with my family save my brother to a minimum is the healthiest thing to do. Also, yes...I planned a trip in nature, and I'm planning a nice lunch to take with us.
I read somewhere that INTJ's can feel comfortable around a small group of close friends. (I agree) And when they are alone with those friends, many of the socially awkward aspects can disappear. It seems to me that you might be able to even diagnose a different personality type to an INTJ when they are amongst very close friends. (I'm an INTJ)
True that. I am an INTJ female, in love with an INFP male. I took the mbti to see why I react so differently around him, like all gooey and feely, a huge lump of bloody emotions and such... and fair enough, my mbti came back as INFP. So there we go, I turn into an INFP when im around him. And yes, I will bend light, matter and gravity to be what he needs me to be, to make him happy, to make sure he is safe and is able to achieve everything he wants to.
Omg yes. Wtf is that all about? I am an INTJ female with an INFP male and I've cried more infront of him in 1 year than I have Infront of anyone my entire 39 years of life.
Then you haven't been in a actual relationship with an INTJ. Their minds work on efficiency. They make everyone's life better even if they don't want to.
@@TankTheSpank Did you even read her comment? She also acknowledged the healthy and balanced INTJs. If you seriously think your entire personality type are all saints and angels then you might as well be saying the exact same thing about INFP. Edit: okay Jesus sorry, that was very rude of me my apologies. I DID not mean to be so rude to you like that I am so sorry, I hope you have a wonderful day.
My bf is intj and I am Infp. We been together for 10 years and I can still feel the love from him is very strong. We have been through a lot of challenges and I was so insecure in the past, but once we can finally understand each other more and talk more about our thoughts, our relationship becomes stronger and romantic. It’s so cute that he act like a robot outside but in front of me, he is like a little boy always want compliments from me and love to share his thoughts. That’s so sweet❤
yes it is 100% true that if a relationship does happen with a mature Intj, all tests have been passed and a future can be seen with you in it, because wasting time is something we hate, I actually will not talk to people if i don't see the point. Much success in your relationship i hope to stumble across an infp myself.😁
@@andrewwinston7900 I was joking haha though sfj is nice. I was only joking bc you said you hoped to stumble into infp. Hence, sister types , decided to comment. Though I'm really on the fence with introverted and extraverted, being only fifty three percent extraverted, so odd when I have intense bouts of introversion. But hey! Types aren't everything 🙃
I am a INFP(Hongkonger) and fall in love with a INTJ female(Japanese).Honestly speaking, I have never met someone that can follow my thoughts as her. She is smart, and mostly she can understand those weirdo thoughts inside my head. I can turn into silent suddenly during a conversation cause that’s how INFPs always do, which I had worry about if that made her uncomfortable, and she claims that she enjoy the atmosphere even we were both silent. I met her for like only 4 months but we already became so close(cause you know Japanese it’s extremely hard to get close with when you are a foreigner), we share our dreams, and she even told me about her weakness, how she feels for me(we are not in a relationship tho). People always say INTJ don’t share what they’re feeling about, so it’s really surprised me. Due to some abnormal reason, we had to lost contact. And she promise if we met each other again, we will restart the relationship. So please wish me luck🥲
I'm so glad I found this video!!! Dating an INTJ male it's true. He interviewed me and I did the same with him too. 😂 I'm INFP, 27 and he's 29. I think he's so amazing too! I really admire everything about him. We're still getting to know.each other. He doesn't flirt but he's sappy and I just feel secured in.his feelings for me even.him not saying it directly. 😅 Unfortunately, I got mad at him because of his bluntness. Haha. 😂 So we aren't talking right now. I hope we could still work it out because we are dating with marriage in mind. 😊
Hi, how long have you known him? What kind of questions was the interview? In what way is he being sappy?:) I'm really intruding on you but it would help me^^
Infp is the strongest feeling trait meanwhile intj is the strongest thinking trait. So I'm using this video info to make it easier to identified NF/SF and NT/ST. So thank u, keep it up. (but not the changing bf part XP)
So..female INTJ here. I have never dated an INFP. But now I want to. I just stopped dating an ISTJ and previous relationships have been different types (I wasn't into MBTI with them so not sure but they were nothing as described of INFP). This last dating experience only lasted 3 weeks. Lol. Smh. So I looked to see what would be a good match function-wise, and was surprised by INFP. I of course have watched at least 7 of these videos lol. I'm so intrigued. I am hoping to meet "my person" soon. I read this on Personality Junkie today and for the first time, I felt understood regarding what I've been searching for and that I wasn't crazy. "In fact, one of the primary reasons INTJs seek relationships is to have someone to share ideas with. As David Keirsey put it, for INTJs, love often comes (and arguably should come) in the form of a “mindmate.”" To find this person would be the ultimate joy of my life.
In my experience, as a INFP male (9w8) I found that INTJ women to be very intriguing and definitely a type I would actively seek. It’s like bacon and syrup, so different, yet goes well together. That being said, the differences aren’t as pronounced as you would expect, and in fact I would say deep down there are a lot of similarities. I only had one relationship with a INTJ female and it was honestly the best relationship I had.
I'm an INTJ Female and have an INFP Female friend. We have been friends for almost 8 years now, we connect very well and the humor part? lol! It's one of the highlights of our friendship, she's curious and open to some discussion. I have few people in my life that you can consider a "friend" but I still haven't found someone who understand my humor as she does, I appreciate her big time.
1st of all let me say thank you very much ,All of these attachment styles and personalities are pretty much new to me but after learning about their traits and characteristics I focused in immediately on what type I was and what type my girlfriend was I am an INTJ and she is and INFP and let me tell you, you have described both of our personalities to the letter. Now you sound young to me however you sound very educated and informed on this particular dynamic of people's personalities and how it effects their behavior and their attitude towards relationships, There are lots of other channels dealing with the attachment styles but they just tease and give generalizations into the specific topic they are presenting in that video and then of course they want you to purchase their courses or their kits or what have you, you actually go into depths to relay your experiences and information from your own life in order for people to gain some knowledge into their own behaviors and relationship interactions, so again I thank you so much, I'll leave it at here but just suffice it to say I am in a long distance relationship and in the last 2 weeks out of nowhere my INFP Told me that she couldn't be in a relationship right now that she wasn't in the right place in her life. now keep in mind we have been together for almost a year and had no major fights or badd incidences, so her telling me she wanted to break up, or for lack of a better term,(In fact she didn't even use those words break up she just said she couldn't be in this relationship right now Shocked the hell out of me and I'm still in a fog. point being, listening to what you have said helps me to make some sort of sense about what's going on and how she is feeling and how I should try to understand and relate to her, this time Around the 1st week of August, this happened. however, I sent several text messages trying to explain that I realize I was being too needy and so on, and at other times I'd stopped reaching out for a couple days and she would contact me hold a conversation and then not say anything again for a couple days, this is so frustrating because she told me she still loves me and I still love her, anyways I'm losing my freakin mind but you are helping alot thank you very much. curious of your thoughts ?
Ohhhhhh dude. You got the Oneitis. You’re a young INTJ and taking it to heart. Don’t. It’s a waste of time and resources. Go cry in a ditch for a couple of weeks til you get your self respect back. There are literally billions more potential matches out there waiting to meet you. Don’t be shocked if “the one” that just ditched you tries to come back into your life after you stop obsessing and contacting them. Fair warning about that, as an INTJ you are likely to find that you can never go back to the way things were. Once you are done, you’re really really REALLY done. Once someone betrays my heart I have never been able to associate with them in pretty much any way. YMMV. Feel free to try but don’t be surprised if that little worm in the back of your brain and heart telling you all the billions of ways it’s never going to work out. It’s a very prominent INTJ trait. We’re just wired that way. We can’t travel back in time but by God, we’ll obsess over it in sub atomic detail for years. Study “Game”, PUA, female nature. Carefully, it’ll take a while to parse the crap, the Uber creepy and unethical (NLP crap), from the useful knowledge. Depending on your diligence and aptitude it’ll take you a while but you’ll be able to “see the social Matrix”. It helped me in all aspects of life not just my love life. As an INTJ you are likely completely oblivious and ignorant of 99.5% of what a huge majority of humanity considers to be extremely critical social and emotional cues. With work, you will become exceeding efficient at emulating a normal highly sociable human being. Use that to sample the match probability matrices of as many potential matches as possible. You don’t know enough to know what you like or even what you don’t know. Build your pattern recognition abilities to seek out the optimum match for yourself. Pay close attention and learn the signs of toxic or pathological personalities. Do not attempt pair bonding with Borderline Personality disorders, narcissists, or other similar toxic types. The love bombing and the insanely awesome nookie will make you lose your faculties. Don’t. Fall. For. It. Run far far away very very fast. There be dragons and suffering. With great power will come great responsibility. Don’t use your newly acquired skill sets to take advantage or immorally manipulate someone for your gratification. Karma and your own conscience will find you out and fill your mouth with ash and set mill stones around your neck.
@@i-..--..--..-i6985 ... im an infp and this is very random for me to say but i love the way you guys talk(?) Idk why but i find intjs structured description of text or just the way you guys explain things very intresting and whenever an intj warns another intj of a situation or what might be happening, it may not relate to me but i always gain knowledge with intjs i find them very intelligent even with the way you guys communicate and relay infos even though they are intelligent.
You should never be proud of holding something against somebody else. If somebody said something wrong to you, or offended you in some manner, they're not his feelings they are your feelings and you need to process those feelings which means you need to acknowledge and accept them. And allow them to process and can transform into healed feelings! it sounds like something a woman would say because you ladies take pride in being unique, and special, as if you were the only one who possesses feelings or the ability to hold offenses against other people but I want you to remember one thing that forgiveness is a choice and each day is a new day and if you can't start your day at zero it sounds to me like you are the one with the problem.learn to grow, and that only happens through acceptance of wounded feelings as you do they transform into healing!
My bf is infp I'm INTJ. I notice the differences and how it could potentially not work but we just kind of do. He balances Me with his emotional intelligence and caring sensitive side and tells me when I'm being too "in my head" or "logical" and he's very supportive emotionally and helps me feel more, and I help him by giving him structured logical life advice.
10:35 😆 as the INTJ, I've got the odds stacked against me. She was adopted at birth and grew up in a calm and nurturing family. I was raised in a fairly large Sicilian family; I get in double trouble. Once you're in the dog house of an INFP, it's frustrating and difficult to get out of. Very good, objective introspection.
INTJ here. Funny thing that happened to me a while back. I was sitting in my SUV in a parking lot, when this guy walks out of the building. I don't know him. He doesn't know me. We look at each other for a second, then I return to what I was doing on my cell phone. A few seconds later, I look up again, and he's staring at me - intently. I went back to my phone, but I could feel his eyes on me. Creepy. Roll down my window. He says to me, "You got a problem?" Only then did I realize my resting bitch face was still on. I smiled and responded, "No. Have a nice day." RBF is dangerous for those of us with this personality type.
I’m an INFP and my guy is an INTJ. But you were right about INTJs being different from each other altho they have some of the same characteristics. My INTJ was abused emotionally and physically when they were younger. Not only that, they were cheated on, taken advantaged of, been lied to, etc. by their exes. As you can imagine, he doesn’t give physical affection, he doesn’t like lovey dovey stuff, he closed his heart, he doesn’t trust people( they hate people in general) and is anti-social in a way. Knowing how INTJs are in the first place, he’s pretty much to the extreme. However, over time, he slowly opened up to me although since we are 5 thousand miles apart, it’s hard especially since he’s very blunt and suppresses his emotions. However, like I said, he’s slowly opening his heart to me and I think he trusts me but yeah I’m just trying to make him get help for his traumatic experiences and be there for him (within my capacity) and support him in any way I can.
I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU that it is NOT COOL for ANYONE to snap "WHAT?!" at another person, especially someone they claim to love. Ohhh noooo! I will not be with someone who does that. Yes, he is an INTJ but that is no excuse. As far as I am concerned a person doing that needs to recognize that tone of voice matters and what they are communicating is hostility. It communicates an underlying critical emotion and they need to be honest about what they are feeling at that moment when they snap at you. Instead of snapping and barking at you, they need to treat you with the respect of just owning their feelings and talking to you about it. Snapping at someone is part of a communication style called "Violent Communication". There is a concept on this called NonViolent Communication (NVC) developed by Marshall Rosenberg. And there is a whole body of work on it by a woman named Byron Katie and it's called "The Work". It's very good and I think should be required for all people to learn. I think you should show your boyfriend the work of Byron Katie and tell him you think he needs to study up on it.
Actually i am an enfp , and i sometimes feel like the intj i know wants to communicate with others and try to make them understand that he is also a normal, funny person , not a monster or a robot who have planned his actions for the next 5 years , so he cracks some dark jokes which r not funny at all because he has been repeating the same kind of dark joke for the last 2 years , so i don't know i might be wrong but i think that he is just not showing his true self and he hides that because he think people won't even understand but i really want to spend time with his true self listening to his ideas .....i guess he will never understand and i don't even have the guts to say
He doesn't have ADHD, we INTJs just have Hyper awareness and don't have the ability to tune things out. I'm exactly the same way, any noise, movement, or even light can completely take me out of the zone. I hope he's not taking medication, cause he has been miss-diagnosed.
What about the other way around? Im an Older INFP-T deeply connected to a young INTJ-T? I do feel the connection, time to earn trust is a really long time even by my standards. Even though Im earnest and sincere she still had trust issues because of other bad men. Goes for me too, I really dont trust people, they have unrealistic hurtles to pass before they gain my trust. That two year thing, thats facts.
Okay, let me give you some advice about INTJs. I am an INTJ, also a web developer. This exact same thing happened to me with my INFP wife (I'm lesbian). I would show her my website and if she criticized it, it did hurt, depending on the way she said it. The reason for this is NOT because of our "ego". I've heard you refer to INTJs and our "ego" a few times and I think you are not quite getting us in that regard. The reason for the hurt is because you have to remember that our whole essence of our being is to try to make the world a better place through our practical solutions. We have Te Parent after all. I am passionate about doing good in the world. It’s my responsibility! But I do it through perfecting a specific system, whatever that may be at the time. That is why we get so upset (and think people are idiots) when they do stupid shit because it is so incredibly important for the world to be a better place, that things need to WORK and too many people get in the way of that which means they get in the way of making the world a better place for us all. For you to criticize that would be like you criticizing who I AM. You are actually criticizing the essence of ME, my SOUL. When it comes to INTJ passion work it is no longer just work, it IS WHO WE ARE at our core. So essentially what you were doing is criticizing who he is as a person, not the specific work he was doing, even though it seemed like you were just criticizing a web page (or whatever it was). No, it was much more important than that to him (if he's like me). I guess a good analogy would be if he were to criticize you for your feelings or values. I assume that would cut to the core because your feelings and values are the very essence of your being and to criticize that is to criticize YOU.
Thanks for explaining. I am an INFP (39) and my girlfriend (29) is an INTJ. Although I love and appreciate her as a person and her qualities more than I have ever felt for anyone, she takes my once in a while criticism of her work/act rather harshly. I used to be very surprised with it and tried to explain to her, what's the use of asking me if she wants me to always say good things. But now I get it. Her work, her job is her personality and any criticism of that will be criticism of her. Will be mindful of that in future 😉 But at the same time kindly guide me on the below: 1. if still I have to provide a constructive criticism of her job/act, how to proceed about it. 2. If she is feeling low because of her life/carrier and went too deep into self blaming, how to bring her out of it because I feel helpless, any example of my own failures or telling her how I feel about her, how proud I am of her, that it will be alright and success is just around the corner.... doesn't help. She just keeps on blaming herself for not achieving her true potential.
The part where you can’t stand people being prudish to you, trust me, an INFP doesn’t ever get used to that. My family communicated through yelling when I was young, so I just stopped talking to them 😂
my intj left me because she said she's not ready for love, but i kinda messed things up too after that. do you think we can be together again, is there a way to be back again? since she the one who dump me, i think she's the one need to reach out first when she's ready.
Haha “They’re so romantic…If he’s in his room and I’m trying to do something, he’ll say ‘What are you doing? let me do that”…. This is not him being romantic … he likely knows you will do it wrong and it’s quicker for him to do it right first time than to correct your mistake later!
As an INTJ, what I learned from this video is to stay away from INFPs at all costs. They will emotionally drain you and exhaust you while at the same time taking advantage of your planned and structured way of life. May be this upolader should make another video regarding what she gives to the relationship. This video was all about what she takes from the relationship.
Understood. 🙂 I'll make a more. Balanced video. One thing I forgot to mention, was this INTJ (while he's a great guy) in the beginning he did something that really hurt me. Since I stayed it takes a while to earn that trust again. We worked through it and are still growing and are now married. I just wanted to be honest towards INTJs at what to expect. But you're right 😃 I'll do a follow up
@@brainvsheart3171 Congratulations and best wishes for both of you. As an INTJ myself, it is very difficult for me to be (in the beginning atleast ) to be with people who are very sensitive. I have a very direct and forceful way of communication that can rub them in all the wrong ways, without me intending to hurt them.
"He will move Earth Sun Heaven Everything". Wow wow wooooow note to myself: Avoid the chemical reaction what people call love at all cost. The last thing you want is to become a girl's slave.
When an INTJ loves another romantically, that other is like a gravity well. The world of the INTG begins to rotate around that person. Its kinda crazy. And unproductive. I've avoided it successfully for a while now. Oh and...not a "slave" more like a man frozen still in a gallery, admiring the woman. The best piece of art in the room.
@@Grevlain Then it's even worse than I thought. It's as if it's not bad enough that I'll be sidetracked from my way on top of all I won't be able to talk to her. I have analyzed love usually people have intense feeling such as jealousy, longing, unrational expectations. They gonna tear me apart in between 2 roads. Even if I choose the other road not the road of that sickness I will probably be in pain on my way. Man I hate everything connected to love.
@@dhisufiroafrozenseraphimdragon "Unlivable" Maybe for a Feeler is Unlivable, but not for an INTJ. I know what love is doing for this world, but I also know what it did to my Mother to my Father to my Grandmother to my Grandfather. Love IS useful for those who want a family, for those who love wasting their lives generation after generation after generation raising brats just because " What would the Society think" or for some other stupid reason/s. Love is necessary curse, but it's not something that I want for myself. What I value is power maintained by justice. (Power for me is Never ending progress of Psychological, Financial and Physical gain.)
@@Dark-iv3gm I'm an INTJ myself. I have 14 siblings and my mother and father. I love them dearly. Problems arise when you love the wrong things, like money for example. Some people love it so much that they'll trample on anyone just to get it. Love for a person is not a curse though. After all Jesus died on the cross for us because he loved us even though we are sinners. I don't know what happened to you but don't act like love is pointless. You're getting added to my prayer list. God bless
6:10 Yes, this is true, but you have to understand. INTJ's are like sea urchins. We have armor and spikes on the outside, but are warm, sweet, and gooey on the inside. IF we let you in, you HAVE to understand, that you're INSIDE of our armor, and you have to conduct yourself as such. Things you say that would bounce off our armor, if shot from the outside, will savagely destroy our insides. That's WHY INTJ's take so long to vet partners, and why we're so slow to let people in. We need time to establish their systems and patterns and conduct a cost benefit analysis on the potential they have to emotionally destroy us if we let them in.
common INFP traits, charming, imaginative, caring. makes your world not boring when you interact with them. i have 12 girls showing signs that they like me but i only confess to 4 of em in my life.
Hi guys! These are never scripted because I want it to be personal and real. This is an answer based on my personal experience.
Just Ask loved this! i personally love intjs too and find them fascinating as an infp! i hope you will do more videos on this particular pairing as i would like to know more how a relationship between them would work!☺😊
You have a really good grasp on the INTJ. You described me exactly. Not sure how I feel about that, but good job.
I love my intj. I don't know how to tell him .....he said he loves me ....how do I handle this?
@@phoebesanchez8915 Did you tell him that you love him?
I don't mean to be rude, but you are coming of as too self-indulgent in this video. It seems like you purposely annoy or irritate your boyfriend just to get him to show his soft side. Not a behavior acceptable from a mature and understanding partner.
It's funny because I'm an INFP and one of my managers is INTJ, one day people suddenly started saying we love each other and I was like "what?wtf?" the only 3 phrases he ever spoke to me are "Hello" "Please give your resignation letter" "you have no brains" in two years working with him. I like him even if he scares me with his dead stare ^^
Whatt?! So you've resigned? Haha.
HAHAHAHAHAH I AM DEAD
🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
;-;
"You have no brains" 😂😂😂
as an intj, infps are so far one of the only people who i actually dont mind talking with because they're great at keeping a conversation going
We like to bring new ideas to the drawing board. Some of them are outlandish and dumb, but that is part of our strategy.
As an INFP I can confirm that I'm a good listener and replyer. Though I have difficulty initiating a conversation.
It's like not knowing how to light a match but knowing how to fan a fire.🤣
@@mushroomking8304 Highly doubt there are dumb infps..
@@aenzardion omgggg yesssssd
Don't be a user. INTJS are good at being useless at most things they do.
INFP married to INTJ. He is incredibly romantic in an oblivious way. Think Mr. Darcy from Pride & Prejudice. The best relationship either of us has ever had. He is 57. I am 47.
As an INTJ, I can explain why INTJ's don't share any emotions/affection even if we can have a whole bunch of it. It's because, even if we like to feel emotions and affection, we still view these as vulnerabilities, weaknesses. If we share them with other people, we are in danger of being betrayed/hurt very deeply. So we only share them with people we trust 100%. With those people, we will be a very different person, the "real person inside".
Agree, and I would also add that we need to know 'why' we should be sharing our emotions. I, myself, have almost zero inclination to share my feelings and emotions and have to force myself to be affectionate both physically and verbally towards my INFP boyfriend. Literally, on a schedule, like making sure I say something kind and I give some forehead kisses twice, maybe three times a day
For me it just feels good to cover someone in ignorance of me 🧐
INTJ here, male, and I concur. It's not that I think emotions make you weak-I don't, and feelers are my favourite people: but it's that I KNOW the wrong people will use them against me. Thus I keep them hidden from most.
fax
lol I shared them once and it backfired so hard
I am an INFP and my BF is an INTJ, we have been together for 8 years, and I must say it's a perfect relationship. The key is to communicate and be blunt, if you INFP have problems or sour feelings, tell that right away, don't wait another day, INTJ may look indifferent but they listen to you very well if you communicate, bottling up feeling will make it worse.
I am still learning this with my INTJ BF. As an INFP its hard for me to just plainly state what I am feeling, so I'd hold off on saying anything. Turns out he is so observant that he picked up on it and it always made things worse. So even if I don't know what to say, I just blurt out feelings to help him (and me) figure out my brain.
Oh, it is cute [☺️]
Agree so much that INTJs are very feely and sensitive with those chosen few close people. We are verrrry picky with who we want in our lives and of course their opinions matter and we care about them big time.
So ......my intj bf said he loves me several months back and it's been gushy since....until recently.....even I say I love you it's like he avoids the sentiment.....should ....I be worried.....it hurts ( enfp girl speaking) plus the gushy level isn't there anymore just normal conversation if I say something sweet he avoids it . One time in an unrelated conversation he said sweet things are usually empty and just said bc ppl feel they have to say them not bc they want to.....made me question in relation to maybe how he views us? He still talks of the future we have regular communication he calls me pretty, but he use to say he thinks I'm smart and beautiful and that I'm perfect, that he loves me.....that , and to quote, " I feel like I wanna share you with the world, and at the same time I hide you away only for myself " or that I won't always be physically attractive but my mind will always be beautiful to him. Such verbal not sentiments have stopped I don't push him on it....but a part of me is confused .....
Any help would be wonderful.....
Phoebe Sanchez
Just like any relationship you need to communicate. Ask him things if you are confused about any part of the relationships. You’ll never know from a third party. You’ll always be wondering
.(signed an infp that had to learn to communicate).
Phoebe Sanchez
I’m not sure of your complaints about being called pretty. Beautiful and pretty sound like the same thing to me. XD at least he’s still complimenting you instead of nothing at all. That is when I would worry.
@@phoebesanchez8915 as a female INTJ I feel like it depends on the person, I would go way out of my comfort zone to do things like that because I really care about the person, if it is their way of showing love. And yah it is a real thing, I don’t take compliments or things like that because it’s so empty. I only compliment people as politeness. For us INTJs our language of love is “ service”. If we love you we will do things for you.
- I think you can just tell him that it’s your way of showing and feeling love.
INTJ female here. God bless the both of you.
Same, I'm an INTJ dating INFP. He's the best, we both believe we're each other's soulmate.
Finally found the rarest senioritor 🤤
@@findout9444 what do you want a prize? No
I am an infp female, and I have interest in intj males..They are so smart and cool ...♡
omg me too aaaaa
I am an intj female and I hardly have interest in any guy but recently i read a lot about infp's and developed a little crush on this type I would love to meet an infp guy oneday 😅💕
@@sunflowersandroses2521 what do you think about intj male? Is an option?
Like intj i look females intj so sexy and intelligent but this happen after i grow my personality and have 24 years old
@@newage9123 Intj males are smart but they somehow have a cold personality
They're so practical and firm too but what I like about them is their honesty they are always straightforward and good at communicating ...that's the impression I got from an INTJ male I dated before.
@@sunflowersandroses2521 Do you see yourself in the future with a healthy intj in the future?
Definitely needed this video. I'm an INTJ female and have an INFP male trying to seduce me. He very quickly learned to create opportunities for me to express my feelings in a personalized manner. When I speak about my feelings I refer to them in an objective and vague manner. I'm a little surprised how quickly he started creating situations for me to express myself. Our cultural difference is a bit of a challenge (I'm biracial: black and white and he's Chinese). We're pretty similar which is weird. I find we battle for utility, it's the craziest thing. I find myself trying to outdo him. We both share the love language of acts of service so I think our interactions are just use doing shit for each other. If I'm upset and my ADD is going crazy while I'm upset, he'll casually video call me from work. He'll drop whatever he's doing to make sure I'm okay. I'm used to being so independent and having him invading that independent and me learning to depend on him is really hard. It's a super weird relationship to say the least and I'm not even dating him (yet).
Also an INFP male here dating an INTj female
Hello from INTJ female dating INFP male!
Our first love language is quality time and we feel so comfortable around each other that can easily stay inside the while day, just the two of us. We also love talking (definitely not small talks), so all our conversations are usually about our universes in our heads. We are both inexperienced in relationships, but our honesty and understanding of introverted nature that we share probably make it work.
Idk why, but our dynamic workes like in video, but vice versa. I am a cat in our relationship - going out alone, suddenly becoming silent and reserved, staring into darkness with that "dead-ass stare" as he calls it, then suddenly changing my mind and becoming extra clingy and affectionate. However, he is more of a loving puppy - clinging to me, asking how I am every hour, sending cute texts and humbly listening to my theories and crazy thoughts. He is always happy to accompany me in every little trip and likes just hanging around. And I appreciate that in him a lot. The most important thing that we are not afraid of being vulnerable in front of each other, I rarely saw guys so caring and sensitive like him, and that works very wonderfully for such person as me.
@@purebredyeeternity780 so good to read this. Many infps come to me and the latest infp person is just so mature . He is trying to win me and I think I should go for it. I am the cat and he is my dog that I wanted. Many times he is going on about feelings and I just have to say 'yes' or 'me too' . Feelings and emotions are what that I find hard to express, or think about. He makes my job easy this way. Good this one no longer vanishes into nowhere suddenly. That is a problem with many infps.
INFP Male married to a INTJ female, and honestly its paradise. We spend so much meaningful time together yet we don't make it weird when we need to just do our own thing, many other couples are actually weirded out how much space we can give each other. Only thing we gotta watch out for is it is very easy for us to accidentally talk each other out of social events we have planned.. :P something we watch out for... Regardless great video!
so... im guessing im the kitten...
cute
😂😂😂
I am a female INTJ and my boyfriend is an INFP. We have an amazing relationship. We do have our snags though because I don't understand some social rules as well as me sometimes not understanding what will hurt him emotionally. We are huge on communication because of this. We have to have extremely open communication because of the way both of our personalities are. But you are so right about the fact that we don't care about a lot of people but when we care and are in a relationship with someone we turn to a totally different person. We will do anything in our power to make the other happy. This doesn't usually happen with most of my relationships but if I love someone it absoultly does. Now other than learning how to mesh our personalitys together emotionally (mostly me learning how to make sure what I do works with him emotionally) we work amazing together because we are able to ground each other. My thinking comes from a calculated logical standpoint and his comes from an emotional one. I am able to give him advice from that logical state and he can do the same from the emotional state. We help balance each other out in a way that works really well. I am not always so emotional in they way you say he is with you but I tend to go through fits of that emotion randomly. But no matter what I would always do anything to make him happy and secure as I believe he would do so for me. This relationship is the best one I've ever been in.
hello, infp here! I noticed a lot of intj’s have commented feeling like an infp would drain them and be annoying and i just wanted to say a few words.
first of all, as you all are not all the same, neither are we. while yes I agree on the sensitivity part, I for one am open to understanding especially with a partner. we may think with our feelings but that does not mean we are oblivious to logic. I in fact quite love the logical side of the intj’s. it is what attracts me to them. they balance me out and ground me in reality, which I appreciate since I am a vivid dreamer.
most of us, I am assuming, are not intending to mess with your feelings, but rather we strive to bring balance in relationships we have. we like the harmony and so we are accommodating in what we do and how we act.
we understand the need for space and the time away as introverts. and while I am one for lots of affection, and I may say it quite often or randomly, I don’t expect if back unless you mean it and I won’t push it on you if you don’t want it.
we get there are multiple ways to say I love you, and we love to see through exteriors. so if you will, please don’t bash us if you don’t know all of us. we are all splendid in our own way as are you all.
I'm an INFP, and I approve this message.
Few words yea sure XD
I am one INTJ who was annoyed by this video. However, my comment was particularly directed at the way this INFP youtuber painted the picture of the INFP INTJ relationship. I didn't mean all INFPs are the same or anything like that. Iam not against INFP INTJ relationships in general. Just never liked the description given in this video. Nothing more
Intj’s do well with exfp’s so an infp would be less draining I would imagine tbh.
Stop make us (INTJ) cute...!
People will know and will be closer trying to see this part of us and will be a hell on earth!
>_
All intj that I meet are nice and good people and so cary and gentle..
Intj: Don’t expose us!
Nfps: *walks into room* SUP?
Haha true
Oh, we don't make you cute. You do that all on your own.
You are cute but you are still a villain. you should carry a sign 'Approach with caution' ;)
Same. infp here ALWAYS falling for the intjs :S
Sameee but im broken asf
Interesting perspective and much appreciated. Speaking for myself as an INTJ female, you are correct that once we love someone there is nothing we won't do for them - after they directly inform us that we need to do it. And while it is true that we can withstand verbal/emotional bullets from multiple sources without even recognizing the shots, much less being harmed by them, the very small number of people we have allowed into our internal fortress have the power to absolutely destroy us with ease. It is why we take forever to trust someone and let them in. If your INTJ boyfriend is sensitive to your feedback, you are definitely in his heart. Be gentle.
INTJs are the Gentle Giants 🥰 My Husband is an INTJ I'm an INFP-T and he calms me and makes me feel important 😍😍🥰🥰♥️
I LOVE THIS MAN ‼️🌺
Lol. This sounds just like us, I can be alone, but he loves my presence ❤ ♥
The rocky part comes from me too 😅 He's so mature and stoic.
Yes well said gentle giant .Tough exterior , can be stoic and logical but he softens around me and I love it as an INFP . It’s beautiful !
I’m an infp female married to an intj male. There are a lot of things that annoy me about him but those same things really weirdly turn me on 😭 I just wanna hug him and slap him at the same time lol 😂
kinky
I am the INTJ and my husband is the INFP.
When you said that once you break an INFP’s trust, it takes years to build it back. That’s true with hurting an INFP too. Our kids struggle with that with him. Two of them our from my previous marriage, but he came into their life when they were young and he is Dad to them. But kids will mess up and do things wrong. There kids, they are immature and still learning. So it’s common for parents to get hurt by their kids and we forgive. But my INFP husband struggles with this. He holds onto every hurt and will use it as a wall against his relationship with the kids, when he is going through his emotional down time. The kids want his trust in their relationship with him. We are still trying to figure out how to build this, building an INFP’s trust in their relationship with their kids.
So I am currently researching this topic. In romantic relationship it’s easier to build trust with an INFP. But in step-children or children and parents, it doesn’t seem to be so easy.
Here's a tip from infp: you CANNOT reconcile infp through the idea that they should reconcile, it has to be through consistently good concrete experience.
I think that's the primary difference of Ni-Se INTJ and Ne-Si INFP. You imagine stuff you should do, while we imagine stuff _others_ would do. Push the infp to do physical family activities with the kids together, until the infp can perceive pattern of what the kids would do that's safe (not a threat to his identity) and preferably even fun with him.
TL;DR don't coax us through our Ne, it's almost never work. Do it through Si instead.
Thanks for this - I'm loving these INTJ INFP relationship videos! I'd love to see more :)
My best friend is INFP and I'm an INTJ. It's insane how well we get along, I've never had a friend that I actually connect with. She has to put up with so much of my shit 😅
Happy for you Rip. Nurture that friendship.
@@antoinettenovella1630 definitely planing on it :P
@@murdermitts8271 We feel you guys put up with so much of our shit lol. We look to you for advice, we are scatter-brained and reactive. You guys are level headed and loyal. ⚘🌹🌷🌻🌼🌺
@@FreeJulianAssange23 Awe thank you! All of the INFPs I've met have helped me so much with emotional expression and understanding.
Im an Infp and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE Intj's, they are angels walking the earth.
Sigh.
It was kind of odd seeing myself turning into a weird, affectionate and sweet when I am in a relationship.
You surely hit on the spot, but this is way too much information... :(
seek help
lol exposed
My INTJ bf always says I love you too! I was like "wait....I'm the INFP I should be saying that to YOU not you to me" lol he says it a lot and is super affectionate. I thought that would be me...
This was useful information. I'm just missing the "INFP" part (person).
- jaded INTJ
Considering the relative rarity of, and the strong familial and social connections you have had with INTJs, it is no wonder you are (to me) the most insightful, truthful and revelatory source of this (rather esoteric) information in the vast sea of chaos that is the internet.
Thank you again for your knowledge that so often hits me like a ton of bricks. I look forward to your next video.
Friendships with INTJ are very rewarding experience for me as a INFP. Thanks to them I learned to organize better my crazy of a rollercoaster mind.😄 And in turn I will help them to be more open about their own emotions. I do have a sweet spot for INTJ regarding friendships. I can't help but wanting to want to help them.( If I think about this logically it does sound like I am a busy body. 😃 But I never had a INTJ tell me to go away, perhaps I am lucky or just because I know by instinct they need alot of personal space and not to be forced out to open up. They do that in their own time and most are not as harsh as they sound)
I'm an INTJ woman going on a date with an INFP man (this weekend). My longest friendship is also with an INFP (23+ years). I think the dynamic might be a little different for a male INTJ, but I know most INTJ guys to be sensitive, good-natured people. I wanted to comment the caveats about dating someone who experienced abuse. My youth was very abusive, I stayed as long as I could to protect my brother and I was later treated for PTSD. I think I was always a sensitive and gentle person nonetheless.I think if an INFP is also on the verge of dating an INTJ who may have experienced abuse, to still give it a chance. We're not our parents. In my case, keeping contact with my family save my brother to a minimum is the healthiest thing to do. Also, yes...I planned a trip in nature, and I'm planning a nice lunch to take with us.
Did it work out?
Curious INTJ female who's been treated for PTSD also, newly dating INFP male.
I read somewhere that INTJ's can feel comfortable around a small group of close friends. (I agree) And when they are alone with those friends, many of the socially awkward aspects can disappear. It seems to me that you might be able to even diagnose a different personality type to an INTJ when they are amongst very close friends. (I'm an INTJ)
Grevlain We become ESFP’s when we are extroverted
@@sentricz_devkep7525 truth
They thrive.
The image of the wolf and kitten is an extremely apt visual metaphor.
True that. I am an INTJ female, in love with an INFP male. I took the mbti to see why I react so differently around him, like all gooey and feely, a huge lump of bloody emotions and such... and fair enough, my mbti came back as INFP. So there we go, I turn into an INFP when im around him. And yes, I will bend light, matter and gravity to be what he needs me to be, to make him happy, to make sure he is safe and is able to achieve everything he wants to.
Omg yes. Wtf is that all about? I am an INTJ female with an INFP male and I've cried more infront of him in 1 year than I have Infront of anyone my entire 39 years of life.
@@captainfrosty31 Idk bud, basically are fucked. Good luck to you!
I’ve come across a few narcissistic INTJs and can’t stand them. But the healthy balanced ones are pretty awesome. Similar to entjs.
Me too. My ex. No feelings. No empathy. No sense of honor or integrity.
Then you haven't been in a actual relationship with an INTJ. Their minds work on efficiency. They make everyone's life better even if they don't want to.
TankNSpank exactly, that’s nothing like an INTJ
TankNSpank I’m talking about an actual personality disorder though.
@@TankTheSpank Did you even read her comment? She also acknowledged the healthy and balanced INTJs. If you seriously think your entire personality type are all saints and angels then you might as well be saying the exact same thing about INFP.
Edit: okay Jesus sorry, that was very rude of me my apologies. I DID not mean to be so rude to you like that I am so sorry, I hope you have a wonderful day.
My bf is intj and I am Infp. We been together for 10 years and I can still feel the love from him is very strong. We have been through a lot of challenges and I was so insecure in the past, but once we can finally understand each other more and talk more about our thoughts, our relationship becomes stronger and romantic. It’s so cute that he act like a robot outside but in front of me, he is like a little boy always want compliments from me and love to share his thoughts. That’s so sweet❤
yes it is 100% true that if a relationship does happen with a mature Intj, all tests have been passed and a future can be seen with you in it, because wasting time is something we hate, I actually will not talk to people if i don't see the point.
Much success in your relationship i hope to stumble across an infp myself.😁
What about a cute enfp jkjk
I've only ran into sfj's mostly, which are fine, but only if they have matured and atleast understand themselves enough.
@@andrewwinston7900 I was joking haha though sfj is nice. I was only joking bc you said you hoped to stumble into infp. Hence, sister types , decided to comment. Though I'm really on the fence with introverted and extraverted, being only fifty three percent extraverted, so odd when I have intense bouts of introversion. But hey! Types aren't everything 🙃
I understand 🙂.
@@andrewwinston7900 haha ah was simply being intj about it how are you today ? If it is day time.for you
I am a INFP(Hongkonger) and fall in love with a INTJ female(Japanese).Honestly speaking, I have never met someone that can follow my thoughts as her. She is smart, and mostly she can understand those weirdo thoughts inside my head. I can turn into silent suddenly during a conversation cause that’s how INFPs always do, which I had worry about if that made her uncomfortable, and she claims that she enjoy the atmosphere even we were both silent. I met her for like only 4 months but we already became so close(cause you know Japanese it’s extremely hard to get close with when you are a foreigner), we share our dreams, and she even told me about her weakness, how she feels for me(we are not in a relationship tho). People always say INTJ don’t share what they’re feeling about, so it’s really surprised me.
Due to some abnormal reason, we had to lost contact. And she promise if we met each other again, we will restart the relationship. So please wish me luck🥲
💓✨
Change it
I'm so glad I found this video!!! Dating an INTJ male it's true. He interviewed me and I did the same with him too. 😂 I'm INFP, 27 and he's 29. I think he's so amazing too! I really admire everything about him. We're still getting to know.each other. He doesn't flirt but he's sappy and I just feel secured in.his feelings for me even.him not saying it directly. 😅 Unfortunately, I got mad at him because of his bluntness. Haha. 😂 So we aren't talking right now. I hope we could still work it out because we are dating with marriage in mind. 😊
Hi, how long have you known him? What kind of questions was the interview? In what way is he being sappy?:) I'm really intruding on you but it would help me^^
This is beyond accurate. You basically just described my husband and I 😍
If we (INTJ) like you and are close enough with you, you get to interact with our ESFP sub-conscious.
I know right. With our very closest friends we become all extraverted, caring and flexible.
Excuse me, what??
fucking finally a channel and video infps with intjs!!! bless youuuuuu
😊I've been gone a while. I'm coming back. I will do other relationship stuff too so just ask 😉
Infp is the strongest feeling trait meanwhile intj is the strongest thinking trait. So I'm using this video info to make it easier to identified NF/SF and NT/ST. So thank u, keep it up. (but not the changing bf part XP)
As an INFP, I love INTJs. They are mesmerizing.
As infp-t (male) i think i will never get married (´*-`×)
But a campfire and a good tent in the woods would be amazing with someone
So..female INTJ here. I have never dated an INFP. But now I want to. I just stopped dating an ISTJ and previous relationships have been different types (I wasn't into MBTI with them so not sure but they were nothing as described of INFP). This last dating experience only lasted 3 weeks. Lol. Smh. So I looked to see what would be a good match function-wise, and was surprised by INFP. I of course have watched at least 7 of these videos lol. I'm so intrigued. I am hoping to meet "my person" soon.
I read this on Personality Junkie today and for the first time, I felt understood regarding what I've been searching for and that I wasn't crazy.
"In fact, one of the primary reasons INTJs seek relationships is to have someone to share ideas with. As David Keirsey put it, for INTJs, love often comes (and arguably should come) in the form of a “mindmate.”"
To find this person would be the ultimate joy of my life.
In my experience, as a INFP male (9w8) I found that INTJ women to be very intriguing and definitely a type I would actively seek. It’s like bacon and syrup, so different, yet goes well together. That being said, the differences aren’t as pronounced as you would expect, and in fact I would say deep down there are a lot of similarities. I only had one relationship with a INTJ female and it was honestly the best relationship I had.
INFP here. INTJs are fascinating to me. So much to learn from them.
I'm an INTJ Female and have an INFP Female friend. We have been friends for almost 8 years now, we connect very well and the humor part? lol! It's one of the highlights of our friendship, she's curious and open to some discussion. I have few people in my life that you can consider a "friend" but I still haven't found someone who understand my humor as she does, I appreciate her big time.
Thats so sweet he stops by the stream to be more spontaneos ❤
The INTJ I like only seems to like outgoing, confident girls, so I guess rather a fox than a Cat for him...
Love that picture!
1st of all let me say thank you very much ,All of these attachment styles and personalities are pretty much new to me but after learning about their traits and characteristics I focused in immediately on what type I was and what type my girlfriend was I am an INTJ and she is and INFP and let me tell you, you have described both of our personalities to the letter. Now you sound young to me however you sound very educated and informed on this particular dynamic of people's personalities and how it effects their behavior and their attitude towards relationships, There are lots of other channels dealing with the attachment styles but they just tease and give generalizations into the specific topic they are presenting in that video and then of course they want you to purchase their courses or their kits or what have you, you actually go into depths to relay your experiences and information from your own life in order for people to gain some knowledge into their own behaviors and relationship interactions, so again I thank you so much, I'll leave it at here but just suffice it to say I am in a long distance relationship and in the last 2 weeks out of nowhere my INFP Told me that she couldn't be in a relationship right now that she wasn't in the right place in her life. now keep in mind we have been together for almost a year and had no major fights or badd incidences, so her telling me she wanted to break up, or for lack of a better term,(In fact she didn't even use those words break up she just said she couldn't be in this relationship right now Shocked the hell out of me and I'm still in a fog. point being, listening to what you have said helps me to make some sort of sense about what's going on and how she is feeling and how I should try to understand and relate to her, this time Around the 1st week of August, this happened. however, I sent several text messages trying to explain that I realize I was being too needy and so on, and at other times I'd stopped reaching out for a couple days and she would contact me hold a conversation and then not say anything again for a couple days, this is so frustrating because she told me she still loves me and I still love her, anyways I'm losing my freakin mind but you are helping alot thank you very much. curious of your thoughts ?
Hope you are ok
Ohhhhhh dude. You got the Oneitis. You’re a young INTJ and taking it to heart. Don’t. It’s a waste of time and resources. Go cry in a ditch for a couple of weeks til you get your self respect back. There are literally billions more potential matches out there waiting to meet you. Don’t be shocked if “the one” that just ditched you tries to come back into your life after you stop obsessing and contacting them. Fair warning about that, as an INTJ you are likely to find that you can never go back to the way things were. Once you are done, you’re really really REALLY done. Once someone betrays my heart I have never been able to associate with them in pretty much any way. YMMV. Feel free to try but don’t be surprised if that little worm in the back of your brain and heart telling you all the billions of ways it’s never going to work out. It’s a very prominent INTJ trait. We’re just wired that way. We can’t travel back in time but by God, we’ll obsess over it in sub atomic detail for years.
Study “Game”, PUA, female nature. Carefully, it’ll take a while to parse the crap, the Uber creepy and unethical (NLP crap), from the useful knowledge. Depending on your diligence and aptitude it’ll take you a while but you’ll be able to “see the social Matrix”. It helped me in all aspects of life not just my love life. As an INTJ you are likely completely oblivious and ignorant of 99.5% of what a huge majority of humanity considers to be extremely critical social and emotional cues. With work, you will become exceeding efficient at emulating a normal highly sociable human being. Use that to sample the match probability matrices of as many potential matches as possible.
You don’t know enough to know what you like or even what you don’t know. Build your pattern recognition abilities to seek out the optimum match for yourself. Pay close attention and learn the signs of toxic or pathological personalities. Do not attempt pair bonding with Borderline Personality disorders, narcissists, or other similar toxic types. The love bombing and the insanely awesome nookie will make you lose your faculties. Don’t. Fall. For. It. Run far far away very very fast. There be dragons and suffering.
With great power will come great responsibility. Don’t use your newly acquired skill sets to take advantage or immorally manipulate someone for your gratification. Karma and your own conscience will find you out and fill your mouth with ash and set mill stones around your neck.
@@i-..--..--..-i6985 ... im an infp and this is very random for me to say but i love the way you guys talk(?) Idk why but i find intjs structured description of text or just the way you guys explain things very intresting and whenever an intj warns another intj of a situation or what might be happening, it may not relate to me but i always gain knowledge with intjs i find them very intelligent even with the way you guys communicate and relay infos even though they are intelligent.
You should never be proud of holding something against somebody else. If somebody said something wrong to you, or offended you in some manner, they're not his feelings they are your feelings and you need to process those feelings which means you need to acknowledge and accept them. And allow them to process and can transform into healed feelings! it sounds like something a woman would say because you ladies take pride in being unique, and special, as if you were the only one who possesses feelings or the ability to hold offenses against other people but I want you to remember one thing that forgiveness is a choice and each day is a new day and if you can't start your day at zero it sounds to me like you are the one with the problem.learn to grow, and that only happens through acceptance of wounded feelings as you do they transform into healing!
My bf is infp I'm INTJ. I notice the differences and how it could potentially not work but we just kind of do. He balances Me with his emotional intelligence and caring sensitive side and tells me when I'm being too "in my head" or "logical" and he's very supportive emotionally and helps me feel more, and I help him by giving him structured logical life advice.
10:35 😆 as the INTJ, I've got the odds stacked against me. She was adopted at birth and grew up in a calm and nurturing family.
I was raised in a fairly large Sicilian family; I get in double trouble. Once you're in the dog house of an INFP, it's frustrating and difficult to get out of.
Very good, objective introspection.
This is beautiful, I am glad I get to hear some beautiful stories.
I'm INTJ, ADHD and have 3 sisters.
Im am a intj with adhd and a learning disabilities and I have 2 brothers
So intj x infp is like that comic pages of the kitten and german shepherd war dog? XD. From image you put on video. Brutus and Pixie? XD
INTJ here. Funny thing that happened to me a while back. I was sitting in my SUV in a parking lot, when this guy walks out of the building.
I don't know him. He doesn't know me.
We look at each other for a second, then I return to what I was doing on my cell phone.
A few seconds later, I look up again, and he's staring at me - intently.
I went back to my phone, but I could feel his eyes on me.
Creepy.
Roll down my window.
He says to me, "You got a problem?"
Only then did I realize my resting bitch face was still on.
I smiled and responded, "No. Have a nice day."
RBF is dangerous for those of us with this personality type.
I'm an infp and my boyfriend is an intj! 💖
I’m an INFP and my guy is an INTJ. But you were right about INTJs being different from each other altho they have some of the same characteristics. My INTJ was abused emotionally and physically when they were younger. Not only that, they were cheated on, taken advantaged of, been lied to, etc. by their exes. As you can imagine, he doesn’t give physical affection, he doesn’t like lovey dovey stuff, he closed his heart, he doesn’t trust people( they hate people in general) and is anti-social in a way. Knowing how INTJs are in the first place, he’s pretty much to the extreme. However, over time, he slowly opened up to me although since we are 5 thousand miles apart, it’s hard especially since he’s very blunt and suppresses his emotions. However, like I said, he’s slowly opening his heart to me and I think he trusts me but yeah I’m just trying to make him get help for his traumatic experiences and be there for him (within my capacity) and support him in any way I can.
Thank you g9ddess resonating so much as an INFP fiesty female, puerto rican and irish
I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU that it is NOT COOL for ANYONE to snap "WHAT?!" at another person, especially someone they claim to love. Ohhh noooo! I will not be with someone who does that. Yes, he is an INTJ but that is no excuse. As far as I am concerned a person doing that needs to recognize that tone of voice matters and what they are communicating is hostility. It communicates an underlying critical emotion and they need to be honest about what they are feeling at that moment when they snap at you. Instead of snapping and barking at you, they need to treat you with the respect of just owning their feelings and talking to you about it. Snapping at someone is part of a communication style called "Violent Communication". There is a concept on this called NonViolent Communication (NVC) developed by Marshall Rosenberg. And there is a whole body of work on it by a woman named Byron Katie and it's called "The Work". It's very good and I think should be required for all people to learn. I think you should show your boyfriend the work of Byron Katie and tell him you think he needs to study up on it.
I am a female INTJ marred to an INFP.
He so lovely ❤️and so cute.
Sometime i dont know that how can i reacting his crying
I totally igree. It's exactly te same with me and my INTJ husband.
That is without a doubt the best outro I have ever heard on RUclips 🤔💡
So much of this sounded like you describing a cat.
INTJ here. My exes regularly described me as feline.
Actually i am an enfp , and i sometimes feel like the intj i know wants to communicate with others and try to make them understand that he is also a normal, funny person , not a monster or a robot who have planned his actions for the next 5 years , so he cracks some dark jokes which r not funny at all because he has been repeating the same kind of dark joke for the last 2 years , so i don't know i might be wrong but i think that he is just not showing his true self and he hides that because he think people won't even understand but i really want to spend time with his true self listening to his ideas .....i guess he will never understand and i don't even have the guts to say
I'm an ENFP, my husband is an INTJ. yeah. lol
It's better to focus on your strengths - that's a lot better in the long run than trying to hide your weaknesses.
16:53 ENTJs aren't actually that different, they're like playing 'getting to know an INTJ' on hard mode!
He doesn't have ADHD, we INTJs just have Hyper awareness and don't have the ability to tune things out. I'm exactly the same way, any noise, movement, or even light can completely take me out of the zone. I hope he's not taking medication, cause he has been miss-diagnosed.
Maybe true but it is possible for an intj to have adhd
INTJ is my favorite MBTI and I hope to Mary one someday.
What about the other way around? Im an Older INFP-T deeply connected to a young INTJ-T? I do feel the connection, time to earn trust is a really long time even by my standards. Even though Im earnest and sincere she still had trust issues because of other bad men. Goes for me too, I really dont trust people, they have unrealistic hurtles to pass before they gain my trust.
That two year thing, thats facts.
Okay, let me give you some advice about INTJs. I am an INTJ, also a web developer. This exact same thing happened to me with my INFP wife (I'm lesbian). I would show her my website and if she criticized it, it did hurt, depending on the way she said it. The reason for this is NOT because of our "ego". I've heard you refer to INTJs and our "ego" a few times and I think you are not quite getting us in that regard. The reason for the hurt is because you have to remember that our whole essence of our being is to try to make the world a better place through our practical solutions. We have Te Parent after all. I am passionate about doing good in the world. It’s my responsibility! But I do it through perfecting a specific system, whatever that may be at the time. That is why we get so upset (and think people are idiots) when they do stupid shit because it is so incredibly important for the world to be a better place, that things need to WORK and too many people get in the way of that which means they get in the way of making the world a better place for us all.
For you to criticize that would be like you criticizing who I AM. You are actually criticizing the essence of ME, my SOUL. When it comes to INTJ passion work it is no longer just work, it IS WHO WE ARE at our core. So essentially what you were doing is criticizing who he is as a person, not the specific work he was doing, even though it seemed like you were just criticizing a web page (or whatever it was). No, it was much more important than that to him (if he's like me). I guess a good analogy would be if he were to criticize you for your feelings or values. I assume that would cut to the core because your feelings and values are the very essence of your being and to criticize that is to criticize YOU.
Nicely articulated .Thank you 😊
"For you to criticise that would be like you're criticising who I AM. The essence of ME"
Example of Ego, sense of self.
Thanks for explaining. I am an INFP (39) and my girlfriend (29) is an INTJ. Although I love and appreciate her as a person and her qualities more than I have ever felt for anyone, she takes my once in a while criticism of her work/act rather harshly.
I used to be very surprised with it and tried to explain to her, what's the use of asking me if she wants me to always say good things. But now I get it. Her work, her job is her personality and any criticism of that will be criticism of her. Will be mindful of that in future 😉
But at the same time kindly guide me on the below:
1. if still I have to provide a constructive criticism of her job/act, how to proceed about it.
2. If she is feeling low because of her life/carrier and went too deep into self blaming, how to bring her out of it because I feel helpless, any example of my own failures or telling her how I feel about her, how proud I am of her, that it will be alright and success is just around the corner.... doesn't help. She just keeps on blaming herself for not achieving her true potential.
@hfortenberry please guide
@@captainfrosty31 Nope. Ego is not the same as the soul.
I am an INFP and my husband of 10 years is an INTJ.
INTJ male here. Spot on!
18:18 I feel so called out 😅 me (intj) when I interviewed my girlfriend (infp) before I asked her out
Love your channel
Dam, i cant stop nodding as this is playing. -INTJ male
Very nicely spoken
The part where you can’t stand people being prudish to you, trust me, an INFP doesn’t ever get used to that. My family communicated through yelling when I was young, so I just stopped talking to them 😂
HEY HEY
INTJ MEN SAY I LOVE YOU IN A STRONG AND MASCULINE WAY😂😂
0:46 :)) lol darlin i feel like im the worst
my intj left me because she said she's not ready for love, but i kinda messed things up too after that. do you think we can be together again, is there a way to be back again? since she the one who dump me, i think she's the one need to reach out first when she's ready.
Oh no, I feel exposed a a a
INFP is a kitten, INTJ is a wolf, lmao🤣🤣🤣
Haha “They’re so romantic…If he’s in his room and I’m trying to do something, he’ll say ‘What are you doing? let me do that”…. This is not him being romantic … he likely knows you will do it wrong and it’s quicker for him to do it right first time than to correct your mistake later!
As an INTJ, what I learned from this video is to stay away from INFPs at all costs. They will emotionally drain you and exhaust you while at the same time taking advantage of your planned and structured way of life. May be this upolader should make another video regarding what she gives to the relationship. This video was all about what she takes from the relationship.
Agreed. Im dating an infp and yeah, its fucking draining. Im not giving up tho
Actually better idea. If possible. Have the intj speak about the relationship! Give his insight. That’s if he’ll do it.
Understood. 🙂 I'll make a more. Balanced video. One thing I forgot to mention, was this INTJ (while he's a great guy) in the beginning he did something that really hurt me. Since I stayed it takes a while to earn that trust again. We worked through it and are still growing and are now married.
I just wanted to be honest towards INTJs at what to expect.
But you're right 😃 I'll do a follow up
@@brainvsheart3171 Congratulations and best wishes for both of you. As an INTJ myself, it is very difficult for me to be (in the beginning atleast ) to be with people who are very sensitive. I have a very direct and forceful way of communication that can rub them in all the wrong ways, without me intending to hurt them.
I fucked up, and now i don't know what to do that she is not angry anymore..
"He will move Earth Sun Heaven Everything". Wow wow wooooow note to myself: Avoid the chemical reaction what people call love at all cost. The last thing you want is to become a girl's slave.
When an INTJ loves another romantically, that other is like a gravity well. The world of the INTG begins to rotate around that person. Its kinda crazy. And unproductive. I've avoided it successfully for a while now. Oh and...not a "slave" more like a man frozen still in a gallery, admiring the woman. The best piece of art in the room.
@@Grevlain Then it's even worse than I thought. It's as if it's not bad enough that I'll be sidetracked from my way on top of all I won't be able to talk to her. I have analyzed love usually people have intense feeling such as jealousy, longing, unrational expectations. They gonna tear me apart in between 2 roads. Even if I choose the other road not the road of that sickness I will probably be in pain on my way. Man I hate everything connected to love.
@@Dark-iv3gm Without love this world would literally be unlivable. It doesn't make sense to say you hate love.
@@dhisufiroafrozenseraphimdragon "Unlivable" Maybe for a Feeler is Unlivable, but not for an INTJ. I know what love is doing for this world, but I also know what it did to my Mother to my Father to my Grandmother to my Grandfather. Love IS useful for those who want a family, for those who love wasting their lives generation after generation after generation raising brats just because " What would the Society think" or for some other stupid reason/s. Love is necessary curse, but it's not something that I want for myself.
What I value is power maintained by justice.
(Power for me is Never ending progress of Psychological, Financial and Physical gain.)
@@Dark-iv3gm I'm an INTJ myself. I have 14 siblings and my mother and father. I love them dearly.
Problems arise when you love the wrong things, like money for example. Some people love it so much that they'll trample on anyone just to get it.
Love for a person is not a curse though. After all Jesus died on the cross for us because he loved us even though we are sinners.
I don't know what happened to you but don't act like love is pointless.
You're getting added to my prayer list. God bless
6:10 Yes, this is true, but you have to understand. INTJ's are like sea urchins. We have armor and spikes on the outside, but are warm, sweet, and gooey on the inside. IF we let you in, you HAVE to understand, that you're INSIDE of our armor, and you have to conduct yourself as such. Things you say that would bounce off our armor, if shot from the outside, will savagely destroy our insides. That's WHY INTJ's take so long to vet partners, and why we're so slow to let people in. We need time to establish their systems and patterns and conduct a cost benefit analysis on the potential they have to emotionally destroy us if we let them in.
Weirdest thing for me is that I relate to him so much, yet both me and my fiancé have tested for INFP.
You guys sound cute.
This is how I am.
Hi! can you tell us is your intj is Assertive or Turbulent and you are infp A or infp T please , if you don't mind. Thank you for this sharing
You've at least 16 people in your entire life?! Wut?!
common INFP traits, charming, imaginative, caring. makes your world not boring when you interact with them. i have 12 girls showing signs that they like me but i only confess to 4 of em in my life.
i was married to an infp and it was horrible
another NP having fallen in love w/ likely INTJ but didn't end well unfortunately
I'm a baby and a simp in a nutshell.
😐
😮
you dated at least 17 people?
i didn't think infps do this!
she is probably very good looking then, get's proposals just taking a step outside the door XD
I forgot I made a more balanced video on what INFPs and INTJS do for each other. ruclips.net/video/kgR0T82Se1A/видео.html