Ashley: "I can tell you what myself is not, myself is not an alcoholic" Sam: "Okay, that's true" Ashley: "Friends. People. Voters. We all watched this week's Talks Machina..." Sam: "Oh no..."
@@joeleckel5139 If I'm remembering correctly, I'm pretty sure I did watch a Talks Machina episode where they said something about him writing/co-writing it. Well, even if I hallucinated that, I'd still bet a lot of money that Brian had a hand in that speech.
@@sybariticcupboardrat3763 That did indeed happen. She wasn't sure how to start a roast, so she asked Brian for help. Doesn't make it any less funny if you ask me
but she has to prepare for the presidential campaign better than she does her (obviously cute and adorable) ads for the merch available in their stores.
@@ryanferguson3926 or maybe Brian Foster, but have a whole scene where he approaches Brian like it's the godfather. really double down on the whole graft and corruption campaign.
This. And we don't get enough of the best. Fearne in CR3 is not this, unfortunatly. But we need this badly. She needs to bring this as a character to the table. It's a must. Would bring me back to CR.
If talks machina is to be believed, brian w. foster wrote that eulogy. If there was ever a time to finally replace Orion, i think it's about time we harvest that particular cabbage patch.
@@dudemcfurgusson7179 Dude id love to see Bryan become part of the full cast, ill admit he rubbed me the wrong way at first but hes seriously grown on me and id love to see him join
@@TheSilverPhoenix100 Honestly same, at first I thought he actually had nothing to do with Critical Role and was just a cheesy af presenter for the live shows (my first actual CritRole video was a live show recording) but he's definitely grown on me I stan one cabbage patch kid
@@deffdefying4803 same with me too, I was pretty late getting into CR and had no idea who this goof Bryan was until I started watching Talks. His wit and timing are fantastic and he's a great host and interviewer.
“…or someone with hands so seasoned and robust you both imagine them tucking you in at night and strangling your enemies at the same time.” Well with hands like that Liam’s won me over
@@radioface4997 @Radio Face Mine was a joke too. I have ZERO idea why you're upset‽ I legit thought my comment was funny. Oh well, *make some insignificant child shit themself because a joke went over their head.* [✓]
I can't tell if Ashley and BWF are one of those couples who are so in sync that they start to sound alike or if he wrote this speech but you can practically hear his voice overlapping hers.
I think people tend to underestimate Ashley's sense of humour. I've heard multiple cast members say that she is the funniest of them. And it makes sense that Bwf's partner would have a sense of honour as wicked as his
"Hello 999? Yes I would like to report that one person has been murdered several times? Yes the murderer was Ashley Johnson how could you tell already?"
Can Ashley's One-Shot just be her roasting the whole cast in turns for four hours?
Joe A. So just the opposite of Liam's first one shot?
I wish I could retweet this.
one 3 minute roast burned down Notre Dame. I don't know what would be left after 4 hours of Ashley roast.
lmfao, Their attacks are all roasts. They roll for roast attack and then the DM decides the HP. that would be EVERYTHING.
Hello everyone, and welcome to Critical Roast
“To say I’m honoured would be and understatement of my own achievements so I will just say you’re welcome” god what a legend
She's reading pre written lines.
Michael Jarrett man we all know the whole show is scripted, still good though
@@HushtheMag no way dude
@@hirocheeto7795 A bunch of people playing a board game is scripted? Then what's the point in watching?
They could at least have better writers.
What? No? I was being facetious and saying you were pointing out the incredibly obvious. The game itself isn't scripted.
Ashley used Vicious Mockery!
It was super effective!
Victoria Johnson nat20 my guy
@@jaydenisaacs4855 Yasha's Hideous Laughter :D
More like Power Word: Kill on Sam
@@Toyo4Suka Technically true, but that's not a word play!
She must be at 17th level cuz that was at 4d4 psychic damage.
This isn't a roast. This is vivisection.
Brad Horton and here I thought Caleb was the one who burns people.
Sherlock reference?
"THIS IS NOT WAR. THIS IS PEST CONTROL"
This is a cremation
Travis dying in the background just makes this so much better
... Donkey wearing a Jeff goldblum mask
-OH MY GOD
Ashley: "I can tell you what myself is not, myself is not an alcoholic"
Sam: "Okay, that's true"
Ashley: "Friends. People. Voters. We all watched this week's Talks Machina..."
Sam: "Oh no..."
I love Ashle
I like his confusion lmao. “Okay? Sure...? OH NO”
Because cold donkey piss wouldn't do the job
It's nice that he played into it after he caught on, though.
Yeah dude, when I was watching this part, I was like “I didn’t expect to see a live execution”
And I didn't expect to enjoy it so much.
@@GZilla311 Also didn't expect the one getting executed to seemingly enjoy it so much until it hurt
@@Tetra392 But of course we're not kink-shaming here.
@@GZilla311 nah of course not. We dink shame and nothing more on this, the greatest of internet's
Liam: Ashley, how do you want to do this?
Ashely: hold my beer.
God I was really in Sams corner until Ashley. #VotingWithMyJohnson
I was on the fence, till Ashley dropped the “Jeff Goldblum” Nuclear Warhead out of nowhere.
So many times I almost went with Sam but then Ashley would show up and I would forget I even saw him.
Please don't say "Voting With My Johnson" ever again.
EightThreeEight you’re gonna stop me numberboy?
@@Molly-bj5gb "Numberboy"?
That's actually quite good. I'll have to make a note of that one.
You know.. Technically since Liam and Sam were impeached.. The VP Ashley Johnson would have become acting President of DND Beyond..
😱😱🤯
She is President of the Critical Role Foundation lol
Na, they fucked up enougj she got fired too.
So is that why things have been running so smoothly
@@danielboatright8887 she's still listed as president on the official page, where are you getting your info?
Lesbi-honest
poles were meant to be ridden.....lmao
@@frankholland3025 As a Pole- i confirm.
Maybe the language barrier but I don’t get it. She smuggled the word lesbian in there...what so funny about that? Or the reason?
@@squattingheads the reason is Ashley is making a word pun, using a word that sounds similar ti a part of another word
@@squattingheads Late answer, but this part is basically just the build up to the "polls/poles are meant to be ridden" execution.
Ashly Johnson finally used it.
PowerWord: Kill
That speech sounded just soooooooo Brian. His writing ability combined with Ashley's delivery... they knocked it out of the park.
I've wondered if Brian helped her write this - this sounds like Brian
@@joeleckel5139 If I'm remembering correctly, I'm pretty sure I did watch a Talks Machina episode where they said something about him writing/co-writing it. Well, even if I hallucinated that, I'd still bet a lot of money that Brian had a hand in that speech.
@@sybariticcupboardrat3763 That did indeed happen. She wasn't sure how to start a roast, so she asked Brian for help.
Doesn't make it any less funny if you ask me
I was going to comment that they definitely brain-stormed this together. Brian's humour is scathing but I'm sure Ashley can match him perfectly.
@@annenixda4800 u could said brian-storming it was right there!!
If you know you can do this to your friend, and still be friends right after, you have a friend for life
yeah, it was awesome and sam was totaly in for it!
Ashley describing Liam's hands is a dirty trick because *God Damn those hands*
I love Taliesin just nodding as she does
Daddy O'Brien
"So lesbi-honest, polls are meant to be ridden"
She really *invoked* Yasha and I'm so here for it
YES, this one got lost under laughs, but riding the polls was a great dirty pun.
Liam looking smugly pleased with himself as he realized Ashley won him the whole thing.
the only ONLY way Sam could possibly overtake Liam at this point is if he can convince Laura to be his running mate/queen.
but she has to prepare for the presidential campaign better than she does her (obviously cute and adorable) ads for the merch available in their stores.
He needs to get Talison as a running mate. only dark magic can save him now.
Or if he somehow convinces Matt to get in on this, that would be a very interesting election race
@@ryanferguson3926 or maybe Brian Foster, but have a whole scene where he approaches Brian like it's the godfather. really double down on the whole graft and corruption campaign.
@@comet6415 hahaha that's ace. Gotta love Sam setting up such a brilliant bit that just keeps on giving but still, I'm currently #votewithmyjohnson
Does she still think she's playing Pike? That could only be described as a high level sacred flame right there...
And it left quite the burn
Not a puny cantrip, that was a full on level 9 flame strike!
@@Pokeboyska
Might as well have just called down the Meteor Swarm
Guiding Bolt far up Sam's butt
That was on par with Primordial Thordak's fire breath tbh
I love how much the donkeyface-joke hit Laura.
Tal saying "equal time" to Sam and Sam just immediately stop talking is the funniest thing
Confident, cocky Ashley is best Ashley
This. And we don't get enough of the best. Fearne in CR3 is not this, unfortunatly. But we need this badly. She needs to bring this as a character to the table. It's a must. Would bring me back to CR.
@@dirkboch128 You can stay where you are, we love Fearne
@@dirkboch128 Also, Fearne IS confident and cocky, in an maniacal, and chaotic fae way. She's hilarious and Ashley is a genius.
@@queengoblin Nah, she's just very very dumb ;)
0:21
Taliesin: "Equal time!"
Sam: "Yes sir..."
Sam's response to hearing Ashley entering the election is perfect "that's cheating"
Goddamm Ashley.
So Ashley needs to roll a bard next character casue thats some good vicious mockery
If talks machina is to be believed, brian w. foster wrote that eulogy. If there was ever a time to finally replace Orion, i think it's about time we harvest that particular cabbage patch.
@@dudemcfurgusson7179 Dude id love to see Bryan become part of the full cast, ill admit he rubbed me the wrong way at first but hes seriously grown on me and id love to see him join
@@TheSilverPhoenix100 Honestly same, at first I thought he actually had nothing to do with Critical Role and was just a cheesy af presenter for the live shows (my first actual CritRole video was a live show recording) but he's definitely grown on me
I stan one cabbage patch kid
@@deffdefying4803 same with me too, I was pretty late getting into CR and had no idea who this goof Bryan was until I started watching Talks. His wit and timing are fantastic and he's a great host and interviewer.
Like #666. Lol
“…or someone with hands so seasoned and robust you both imagine them tucking you in at night and strangling your enemies at the same time.” Well with hands like that Liam’s won me over
Taliesin with his hand to his throat staring into our souls like
"Yes, those hands can."
Hot take: Ashley should play a bard who does all her magic with insult comedy.
Yas
Vicious Mockery after Vicious Mockery, and I can't tell which one was the 9th level casting!
"...a donkey wearing a Jeff Goldblum mask..."
Best roast ever...period
2:25 cut to Liam who is just looking at the camera smugly
“To say I’m honoured would be an understatement of my own achievements so I’ll just say ‘you’re welcome’”
This has 69 likes and I don't want to fuck that up, so I'll just give you a comment
Everyone mentions the burn against Sam but Arsequeef got CALLED OUT whoah.
And who was that again?
@@armedwombat6816 A twitter user they befriended because of their great messages for Talks Machina
I'm still in recovery
Yeah, I think your days may be numbered, Arsequeef
@@JustAQNow how much burn cream did you go through after that roasting?
"MY GAWD STOP THE DAMN MATCH THAT MAN HAS A FAMILY!!"
"As god is my witness, he is broken I'm half!"
2:31 Taliesin's fucking double take I can't that was so fucking good 😂😂
I love the silent exchange at 0:41
Laura: Did you know about this?
Sam: No!
I don’t what’s better, Sam’s absolute panic, or Talisen and Laura LOSING IT
Can we talk about how smoothly Ashley put her jacket on 0:06
Im gay
Ashley pointing backwards when she says "Liam and myself" always gets me
Then the look of consideration that Taliesin gives, but then shrugs like "I'll allow it"
When the Cleric has had enough of the Bard's shit.
someone call the police i just witnessed a murder
~_Dayum_~, looks like Ashely rolled a Nat20 on her Charisma!
I'll be #VotingWithMyJohnson for sure.
Or you rolled a natural one on your insight.
@@radioface4997 @Radio Face Mine was a joke too. I have ZERO idea why you're upset‽ I legit thought my comment was funny.
Oh well, *make some insignificant child shit themself because a joke went over their head.* [✓]
Woe woe woe here, no need to get bitter about it guys.
@@robertwallace5288
This is days old by now... I certainly have no interest in a pointless argument
I simultaneously wanna see him be roasted more and hug him and make sure he won't cry 😅
And I thought Percy had no mercy but Ashley just completely shot Sam down again and again.
Ashley Casts Roast, It's a critical it
No amount of Fire Resistance could save Sam
I love that when Ashley drops the Lesbi-honest, Tal does a doubletake with that caduceus clay ™ stoner smile.
I shouldn’t have watched this while painting my nails.
A fabulous idea gone wrong as soon as you clicked the video.
"A donkey wearing a Jeff Goldblum mask" might be the most accurate depiction of Sam's face we will ever hear.
1:58 P A N I C
I'm torn now. I was firmly in camp Arsequeef but O'Brien's just made a power play.
Samoclese it is a difficult decision to make
Comedy Central needs to take notes. THIS is how you do a roast.
A S H L E Y
P L E A S E
HE WAS ALREADY DEAD
Even the immortal Tallesin has never seen a roast that vicious and powerful
I didn't know we were allowed to show murder on Twitch & RUclips.
2:35 lmao liam losing his shit and then realizing he's back on the screen
Lmao I’ve watched this so many times and never caught that, thanks
sam's growing fear at each of ashley's words is really what makes this great
Roast?... ROAST, YOU SAY?!! Nay, says I! we watched a live cremation when this was being streamed live!
Hello 911 I would like to report multiple murders of the same man
The pride in Liam's eyes is unmeasurable
I wish they didn’t only show half the table during these. I’d love to see the others’ reactions.
Ashley
went
NUCLEAR.
ooooohmygod. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Liam/Ashley for D an D beyond #votewithyourjohnson
"This is cheating"
Let's be honest Liam has already won
“ what to you go home at night and watch madmen and pretend that’s how the world still is “ is the SICKEST burn
I can't believe all his friends just sat their as Ashley murdered their friend
When the Bard gets Vicious mockery'd
Definitely need Ashley to play a character with this amount of sass at some point.
God I love moments like this. Taliesin is just tomato red in the thumbnail, has to be worth the watch
That speech has Brian Foster all over it
Watching Taliesin's mood ring of a face is my favorite part of this.
Gwen, Tennyson just rhetorically assassinated Donatello and I'm weirdly here for it XD
Ashley is just delivering everything so perfectly that Sam is just having an existential crisis and it's amazing
that may be the fastest i've ever seen taliesin go that shade of pink from laughing so hard.
"Donkey wearing Jeff Goldbloom face" was a brutal strike for sure😂😂😂
I don't know whats better, Laura smiling ear to ear, or Taliesin going beet red
A large container of aloe was purchased after this moment.
ashley uses vicious mockery Sam: rolls a natural one
Ashley just got added to the list of CR beloved characters who have thoroughly roasted their close ones
Right behind Caleb Widogast?
Maybe my favorite line on Critical Role,
"looks like a donkey wearing a Jeff Goldblum mask"
Ashley: I would like to out bard the bard.
Matt: Roll me a persuasion check.
Ashley: Natural 20…
The one dislike is Sam
Sam, that feeling is the psychic damage from Vicious Mockery
"Poles are meant to be ridden" hahahaha I'm dead
Sam was amazed, appalled, and impressed all at the same time
When you cast vicious mockery at lvl 9. 😂😂😂
Still more civil than the 2016 race.
Seeing this makes me even more sad that they ended up in a tie, because Ashley’s speech/roast should’ve unequivocally secured the win for Liam.
But... It's only because Liam won and then chose to share the presidency with his work husband.
I can't tell if Ashley and BWF are one of those couples who are so in sync that they start to sound alike or if he wrote this speech but you can practically hear his voice overlapping hers.
Probably both
I think people tend to underestimate Ashley's sense of humour. I've heard multiple cast members say that she is the funniest of them.
And it makes sense that Bwf's partner would have a sense of honour as wicked as his
well..
So whens the next episode of Critical Roast?
This was brutal.
Oh man. Sam is quite a sensitive fellow behind that huge smile hope he is ok
I love the uncomfortable chasm of silence after Sam being called out for being an alcoholic. No one expected that!
I did not expect that. It burned so good. Ashley Johnson, y'all.
Ashley is not a rapper but she ended that mans whole career!
God I wish I could speak with the confidence and raw POWER Ashely radiates in this entire bit (exhibit A: 0:40 GOD)
Opens with: "A donkey wearing a Jeff Goldblum mask" Ends with: "Vote with your Johnson" Holy shit
I come back to watch this at least once a month and it’s amazing every single time lmao
I was team Sam for the whole time. Now I am torn! I have always #votewithmyjohnson
"You know... it's good to be back."
"Hello 999? Yes I would like to report that one person has been murdered several times? Yes the murderer was Ashley Johnson how could you tell already?"
1:36 "they're very soft" - Taliesin Axelrod Jaffe 2019
Four years later and donkey wearing a Jeff Goldblum mask is such a slice. God love AJ.