Gentle Parenting vs Permissive Parenting 👶

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  • Опубликовано: 19 дек 2024

Комментарии • 215

  • @-themightymittens-
    @-themightymittens- 11 месяцев назад +2853

    Gentle parenting is simply treating a child like a human being from what I've heard

    • @Milk-ck1wv
      @Milk-ck1wv 11 месяцев назад +252

      and people are against that. isn't it crazy

    • @xdani_thethinkingneko
      @xdani_thethinkingneko 11 месяцев назад +179

      ​@@Milk-ck1wvseriously it's insane, I'm dealing with a neighbor who clearly abusive towards his children period then I get told I'm the weird one, because I don't think abuse is okay. It's horrifying too, because they're young girls, and I know what it's like to be a young girl who was abused by my father. It led me to accept abuse in relationships as I got older.
      It's honestly horrifying, because when I told the cops what was going on they said but you don't have x-ray vision, when obviously they should look at the context clues and are breaking the law, because they are mandated reporters and are not doing what they're supposed to do.
      It really just makes me so angry to see all these kids go through so much pain, when it's not necessary. There's no reason to beat or ever hit a child, there's not a reason to scream at a child daily. I know, that we all lose our cool sometimes, but when it's excessive it's disgusting. Not to mention it disturbs the piece of the entire building. But the kids are the main people who are affected.
      It just reminds me of all the stories I hear, were apparent loses their pool and ends up killing their kid, and people are like where are the neighbors? Where are the police? The problem is, cops and most neighbors just don't care. They literally said to me, because nobody else reported it it doesn't matter, that it is a social issue at this point. I was reading online, that's the problem with a lot of police with these cases, when they are called out to abuse allegations, instead of dealing with it as an abuse allegation, they deal with it as a social problem.
      It is truly disgusting how many people think it is okay to put their hands on a child which is absolutely insane. It is never okay to put your hands find someone, unless you are defending yourself from bodily harm / your loved one.

    • @cmigc84
      @cmigc84 11 месяцев назад +88

      It's also remembering that the little human is a child and needs to have stuff explained, so 'no, don't do that because i said so' becomes 'no, don't do that because someone could get hurt'. Or having discussions with a teen to agree on boundaries, rather than setting an unmovable rule without explanation

    • @SugarCrush_MK1992
      @SugarCrush_MK1992 11 месяцев назад

      @@xdani_thethinkingnekohave you called cps? I think you can call in and ask that they check on the children’s welfare.

    • @LesbeansSplatoon
      @LesbeansSplatoon 11 месяцев назад +38

      As someone raised with gentle parenting, I can confirm that it’s pretty good (especially if your kid is autistic like me)

  • @CritterWithToast
    @CritterWithToast 11 месяцев назад +1137

    “Gentle parenting is just parenting without abuse” is a quote I heard

    • @scoutlaceharding
      @scoutlaceharding 11 месяцев назад +54

      Yeah, basically. It seems to be based on the principle that kids are human beings and that you can respect them as such in age appropriate ways. What a crazy concept!

    • @BL-sd2qw
      @BL-sd2qw 10 месяцев назад +22

      ​@@scoutlaceharding The fact that not abusing your kids is "revolutionary" should be alarming

    • @eleanor4759
      @eleanor4759 10 месяцев назад +2

      Lmao so accurate

    • @markislivingdeliberately
      @markislivingdeliberately 6 месяцев назад +1

      Until the kids are 13 and throwing chairs at their teacher because the teacher asked them to stop texting.
      That’s the dark side of no actual discipline.

    • @markislivingdeliberately
      @markislivingdeliberately 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@scoutlacehardingkids are developing human beings not fully developed. They can’t control a lot of sensations. That’s why parents teach them to control them. You can’t negotiate with a 3 year old who wants dinner right now if it’s in the stove and will take 20 minutes. You can explain the concept of “soon” all you want.
      Gentle parenting is for people who don’t have kids to feel like they’d be great at it 😂😂
      Having said that don’t abuse your kids. But they need boundaries and want and crave structure.

  • @BankruptMonkey
    @BankruptMonkey 11 месяцев назад +476

    Gentle parenting is like Mr Rogers. Permissive parenting is letting the kid do whatever they want and there are no rules.

    • @maam-yj8ph
      @maam-yj8ph 11 месяцев назад +21

      I love Mr. Rogers. Clear, consistent, structured communication with appropriate boundaries.

    • @alexcrazy1492
      @alexcrazy1492 10 месяцев назад +10

      Permissive parenting is like Caillou

    • @hollalaland
      @hollalaland 10 месяцев назад +1

      ​@@alexcrazy1492 he wasnt even real and i hated him. And real life parents make kids like him willingly more and more. Its sad. If they got the proper love and attention they would be so much happier.

  • @jennifers5560
    @jennifers5560 11 месяцев назад +732

    This is a very clear, description of what gentle parenting is. So many people don’t understand that there are boundaries and consequences with this method.

  • @silversleeper1193
    @silversleeper1193 11 месяцев назад +532

    I just think of it as treating your child like a human person rather than expecting them to be perfect all the time and punishing them when they aren’t. I’ve found usually “misbehaviour” is the child being unable to communicate their needs and therefore using the only tool they have (“I want attention so I’m going to break this” “I’m exhausted so I don’t have the ability to make myself and my emotions cooperate right now”) or simply being too young to understand natural consequences that cause adults to act how they do (“Why do I have to come inside when I’m having fun? Frostbite? That can’t possibly be a real word…”)
    And look, there are going to be exceptions to that rule, but no kid is born being bad

    • @Jynxxy13ravedoll
      @Jynxxy13ravedoll 11 месяцев назад +81

      Also, remembering an important part of parenting is teaching. Kids will always take more away from how you act than what you say. So you have to show them how to regulate emotions, how to problem solve, how to treat and interact with others.

    • @GoingSwimmingly
      @GoingSwimmingly 11 месяцев назад +18

      @@Jynxxy13ravedoll Hell yeah!
      I’ve had to explain to some much older people how to just.. Step away, really?
      Surprised she didn’t know that one, she’s a mom-

    • @waffles3629
      @waffles3629 11 месяцев назад +20

      Yep, I'm not a parent, but I have taught swim lessons and some kids are clearly acting up for attention. Not reacting to it was extremely difficult at times and made me want to pull my hair out, but by just responding the same way it showed they don't have to misbehave for attention.

    • @brintesiacirce9414
      @brintesiacirce9414 11 месяцев назад +3

      Okay but if they break something there need to be consequences, I don't mean physical but at least a go sit in the corner... the shit I see as a waitress, parents trying to rope me in in their dysfunctional parenting no ma'am I'm not going to gentle parent your child with you I'm not a caretaker please make your child stop chewing the menù

    • @haileypearson6867
      @haileypearson6867 11 месяцев назад +27

      ​@@brintesiacirce9414 Gentle parenting still includes consequences for the child's actions if they break the rules or do what they are not supposed to. It also means explaining why something is wrong and yes it's not perfect but no parenting method is perfect

  • @quirkyblackenby
    @quirkyblackenby 11 месяцев назад +103

    I’m gonna start calling it respectful parenting (that’s another common name for it) because it’s really about respecting your child and treating them like a person

    • @Just_One_Tree
      @Just_One_Tree 11 месяцев назад +6

      Thanks for sharing. I’m still learning about this and hadn’t heard ‘respectful parenting’ yet. I agree it is a more descriptive name to use (/genuine)

    • @giovannigiovanni9377
      @giovannigiovanni9377 11 месяцев назад +11

      Respecting your child is the bare minimum

    • @TheVengefulSpiritCassidy
      @TheVengefulSpiritCassidy 15 дней назад

      ​@@giovannigiovanni9377 a lot of parents want their child to respect them but does not respect their child and abuses them. My parents were like this, they said you should only respect people who are older and not the young. They physically abused me, I just wishes I had parents who respected me

    • @giovannigiovanni9377
      @giovannigiovanni9377 15 дней назад

      @@TheVengefulSpiritCassidy me too, even though theyre both dead they died with the utter lack of respect for anyone around them and they never changed.

  • @AleksandarVukomanovic
    @AleksandarVukomanovic 6 месяцев назад +10

    My aunt uses gentle parenting and its SOOOO refreshing not having someone yell at me 24/7 over a small water spill. Which is why i always listen to her!

  • @Kotapises
    @Kotapises 11 месяцев назад +32

    It's about:
    You make a mess? Let's clean it up.
    Instead of:
    You made a mess? I'm gonna yell at you and now you won't get to play your game.

  • @trashpanda2200
    @trashpanda2200 11 месяцев назад +51

    My mother basically gentle parented me and my siblings. She'd always explain why we weren't allowed to do stuff, or why the rules where there. And if we fought she'd make us reconcile after hearing both stories individually and then explain the situation to us.

  • @LookinGoodAnya
    @LookinGoodAnya 11 месяцев назад +168

    I'm so happy that there's knowledge and acceptance of different parenting styles. In previous generations they didn't have phrases for these concepts but over time we've been able to basically write to parenting manual we all wish came along with becoming a parent lol

  • @Fif0l
    @Fif0l 11 месяцев назад +11

    Gentle parenting is not getting pissed off at a child for being a child

  • @peritapugnandi6624
    @peritapugnandi6624 11 месяцев назад +27

    Oh, so my parents used gentle parenting. Never heard a name for it. Workes well for us as family 😊 I always knew there is a good reason for my parents to say, do or want from me something. They always explained why it was good to do so

  • @lys2303
    @lys2303 11 месяцев назад +51

    I absolutely advocate for gentle parenting! I work with kids and have seen the benefits of gentle parenting on children. However one thing I struggle to know is how to deal with kids wanting to play with me and push the boundary of how long we play together. I like to be able to give each kid my time but when I need to go to do something else I try to divert them to play with the teddies instead but I feel bad for that because I don’t want the child to feel like I’m not interested spending time in them anymore and trying to push them off with distractions. If anyone has any advice for dealing with this kind of scenario it would be much appreciated!

    • @loup4119
      @loup4119 11 месяцев назад +3

      Very interesting question, I do want to hear advice on this matter too !

    • @silversleeper1193
      @silversleeper1193 11 месяцев назад +52

      One thing I found has helped is letting them know up front how much time we have together and why. So when we start “Auntie is going to play with you for twenty minutes and then I have to go make supper,” and then give follow up warnings “We have ten minutes left to play and then I have to go make supper.” They may still be disappointed at the end, because who wouldn’t be when you’re having fun, but it doesn’t come out of nowhere or feel like you hated playing with them and that’s why they stopped. I then don’t give in to pleas for five more minutes, just name the emotion “I understand you’re disappointed because we were having fun. I have to go make supper now. You can keep playing until it’s ready!”

    • @Jynxxy13ravedoll
      @Jynxxy13ravedoll 11 месяцев назад +25

      I like telling my little one what our time limit for something and then setting a timer to have some external stimulus to signal the time the activity is over.
      Ex. "Ok, we have 15 minutes left to play before bed", then set the timer. You can even let them set the timer. It's also good practice to give check-in times. "Ok, we have five minutes left. Is there anything else you want to do before the time runs out?"

    • @silversleeper1193
      @silversleeper1193 11 месяцев назад +24

      @@Jynxxy13ravedoll yes checking if there’s anything else they want to do is a great tip. It helps avoid meltdowns over “but we never got a chance to…!”

    • @lys2303
      @lys2303 11 месяцев назад +4

      @@silversleeper1193 Thank you!

  • @RealTrueguy64
    @RealTrueguy64 11 месяцев назад +4

    I remembered this clearly in psychology class. Permissive parenting is low expectations and high emotional responsiveness, and there is authoritative parenting or “gentle parenting”, which is high expectations and high emotional responsiveness, and I remembered it was more democratic in how rules are decided.

  • @GenX_files
    @GenX_files 10 месяцев назад +2

    Omg ty! My kids now 20 and 17 were raised with love, respect, no yelling, autonomy and yes boundries when needed. I can't count the number of times I was met with "well your going to have the most spoiled kids ever!" simply because I wasn't going to "discipline" them (I even had a new peds Dr say that to me, which was the last time we saw them) I have the most amazing relationship with my teen/young adult kids that I wouldn't change for the world... they're respectful, kind, really cool, independent individuals. Gentle parenting is so worth it ❤

  • @Shetooktothewoods
    @Shetooktothewoods 11 месяцев назад +12

    Gentle parenting is not un-parenting and just letting your children be feral. I wish people would get that.

  • @gesugaoevilface7876
    @gesugaoevilface7876 11 месяцев назад +55

    But if I don't strike the fear of God into my child's heart. How are they gonna know when to lie to authority figures as a survival tactic? Thanks for your lovely advice but we are a house of fear and shame. /j

    • @waffles3629
      @waffles3629 11 месяцев назад +10

      Yep. I'm an excellent liar, all thanks to my parents.

    • @mamadragonful
      @mamadragonful 11 месяцев назад +5

      I know it was satire, but in some situations that is literally the case. The book Roll Of Thunder, Hear My Cry is an interesting example of a situation where the children needed to fear punishment from parents to protect them from much bigger threats.

  • @Sauvium1
    @Sauvium1 11 месяцев назад +15

    I use gentle parenting techniques on adults that I work with in the school system. You’d be surprised how well they work on Principals and parents.

    • @kiera6326
      @kiera6326 4 месяца назад +1

      They work fabulously in retail and corporate settings too lol

  • @PhoebeFayRuthLouise
    @PhoebeFayRuthLouise 11 месяцев назад +24

    Excellent explanation, Jessica! I have learned so much from you about parenting well!

  • @strawbunny93
    @strawbunny93 11 месяцев назад +4

    Anytime someone gets outraged about gentle parenting I just know they scream at and hit their children behind closed doors. "I was punished physically and I turned out fine!" Well, good for you. The majority of us didn't turn out fine. If you're like me you developed lifelong c-ptsd, depression and anxiety. 😊

    • @scouthedog
      @scouthedog 10 месяцев назад

      What about like an in between like I definitely wasn’t in “gentle parenting.” I would get a belt up until I was like 7 I wanna say which was kinda fair. My parents totally warned me it would happen. But also my parents were great. Feels like the boundary is strange to me

    • @chainlinkfence4963
      @chainlinkfence4963 10 месяцев назад +2

      ​@@scouthedogdon't have kids

    • @scouthedog
      @scouthedog 10 месяцев назад

      @@chainlinkfence4963 Yeah, that's not up to you, not like I'd use a belt though this isn't the ''80s-'90s I also wasn't saying that's how I'd parent my kids. I was trying to ask someone who went through an experience about something.

  • @dragonire_dino0856
    @dragonire_dino0856 11 месяцев назад +1

    I've seen a lot of gentle parenting videos and I follow a lot of gentle parenting people.
    Essentially it's treating your kid like they're a normal human being while still being their parent. You listen to their emotions instead of telling them not to feel. You don't get violent with your child and calling it "discipline", You talk to them and tell them what they did wrong and talk about how they could have done things differently.

  • @kellyntaylor8184
    @kellyntaylor8184 10 месяцев назад +6

    Gentle Parenting = Mr. Rogers
    Permissive Parenting = Regina George

  • @logo9470
    @logo9470 11 месяцев назад +6

    Thank you for this video. So many people don’t understand this and I actually believe this is how everyone should parent ❤

  • @amyjoywoodward6038
    @amyjoywoodward6038 11 месяцев назад +2

    I like that you clarify that explained and negotiated where appropriate. Hopefully using communication at a level equal to the child's communication level.

  • @phoenixgate007
    @phoenixgate007 11 месяцев назад +2

    THANK YOU so many people do not understand this critical difference ❤

  • @versatileintrovert
    @versatileintrovert 11 месяцев назад +6

    Great! Some people these days choose the style of "no parenting" and it's all dumped into gentle parenting, simply for being the alternative to authoritarian styles 😒

  • @sapphirII
    @sapphirII 11 месяцев назад +4

    I had read about someone "free-range parenting" their teenager by allowing them to be responsible in doing what they need like making appointements, but still be clearly there if they need help about something.

  • @Rachel-id8tt
    @Rachel-id8tt 11 месяцев назад +7

    My favourite source for this is @mommacusses and her shorts on "what I thought gentle parenting was vs. how I actually gentle parent".

    • @NapKat
      @NapKat 11 месяцев назад

      I love her

  • @christademarco5602
    @christademarco5602 11 месяцев назад +6

    People are blown away that my 18 month old shares. Unprompted. At a recent playdate with a bunch of other kids he ran up and gave a toy to his new little friend. Then walked away. About 20 minutes before that kids mom was telling me i shouldn't worry about teaching my child to share.
    He took books off my shelf yesterday. I didn't get around to putting them away. I heard him my room. I came in expecting a mess. No. He was putting the books BACK!! And triumphantly cheered for himself.
    He likes to help clean. He's an only child but his pediatrician is impressed that my first child, who has little contact with kids his age in my family (because they either don't exist or live too far away) is very social and acts more like a two year old.
    Why? How is my child like this?
    I'm not perfect. I find myself yelling more than I'd like. Typically when he's engaging in life threatening behavior, or terrorizing the dog. I slip into old parenting styles I'm not a dan of. But!!! I'm working on incorporating gentle parenting. And he is proof it works.
    Whereas people I've met who parent in the traditional authoritarian style actually have worse outcomes. But, hey, you do you

    • @dragonire_dino0856
      @dragonire_dino0856 11 месяцев назад +1

      People are surprised that an almost 2-year-old knows how to share?? What the hell is wrong with this goddamn world.

    • @TheVengefulSpiritCassidy
      @TheVengefulSpiritCassidy 15 дней назад

      ​@@dragonire_dino0856 My 6 year old sister yells at her friends when they want to share her food or toys. Most children don't want to share and seeing a nice and kind child is honestly surprising

  • @NivaraTinuviel
    @NivaraTinuviel 11 месяцев назад +3

    And the consequences of those actions are learning why it may not have been the best choice, understanding how that choice effected others, and how to make a better choice in future.
    Id say that is pretty constructive, and a healthy way for people that are new to being human to learn the ropes.

  • @danika9411
    @danika9411 9 месяцев назад +1

    So it's authoritative parenting, which is very well researched. It just got a new name.

  • @WeAreThePerfectStorm
    @WeAreThePerfectStorm 10 месяцев назад

    I have heard bad things!! And it's annoying!! Thank you for sticking the word "permissive" in my head it clears up the confusion of what I'd rather call it cause gentleness is not bad

  • @loup4119
    @loup4119 11 месяцев назад +11

    This seems very nuanced and interesting. Is there a full video ? Gonna see right away

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 11 месяцев назад +2

      It’s from the “How positive discipline helps your child” video she posted in October. ❤

    • @loup4119
      @loup4119 11 месяцев назад +1

      @@jennifers5560 Yay I did find it and watch it right away. Thank you very much :)

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 11 месяцев назад

      @@loup4119 oh good!

  • @stillnotmyname
    @stillnotmyname 11 месяцев назад

    It's good for teaching children how to handle emotions, among many other things❤

  • @theratman202
    @theratman202 11 месяцев назад +5

    Gentle parenting is just normal parenting but people don’t realise that because they associate the role of a parent with a controlling dictator rather than a teacher and mentor

  • @Picklesandwich958
    @Picklesandwich958 11 месяцев назад +1

    Interesting! I really enjoy all of your content. I don’t have children yet. But I look forward to learning more what genuine “gentle parenting” looks like.

    • @ariadne0w1
      @ariadne0w1 11 месяцев назад

      MommaCusses on yt has a lot of great videos on it

  • @aellalee4767
    @aellalee4767 11 месяцев назад +1

    My mom usually did stuff this way. If I wanted something or to do something and couldn't my mom would explain why and what bad things could happen if I followed through anyway.
    We didn't fight much when I was a kid because I understood and trusted my mom had my best interests at heart like she did.

  • @sari9645
    @sari9645 11 месяцев назад +12

    Something I’ve started explaining to people is gentle parenting is just the rebranded title for authoritative parenting!

    • @rumpeltyltskyn
      @rumpeltyltskyn 11 месяцев назад +4

      That, doesn’t seem accurate? Isn’t authoritative parenting “do what I say, no questions asked”?

    • @morganw2492
      @morganw2492 11 месяцев назад +8

      ​@@rumpeltyltskynno, that's authoritarian parenting

    • @rumpeltyltskyn
      @rumpeltyltskyn 11 месяцев назад +3

      @@morganw2492 Ah gotcha, I see

    • @pennyforyourthots
      @pennyforyourthots 11 месяцев назад

      ​@@rumpeltyltskynthat's authoritarian parenting. It's why I personally hate the term authoritative parenting, because it's far too similar despite being nearly the exact opposite.

    • @rumpeltyltskyn
      @rumpeltyltskyn 11 месяцев назад

      @@pennyforyourthots Yeah it’s pretty confusing! I don’t even think I’ve heard the term authoritative parenting.

  • @misslyntheena
    @misslyntheena 11 месяцев назад

    Thank youuu! So sick and tired of people making fun of gentle parenting when it’s really just treating kids as human beings worthy of respect

  • @jessi330
    @jessi330 11 месяцев назад

    Thank you! Gentle parenting needs a re-name.

  • @DanielWright-np3fq
    @DanielWright-np3fq 10 месяцев назад

    My goodness, you literally can explain anything to the world and it sounds so reasonable. Please, please, please use your powers for Good.

  • @PrincessNinja007
    @PrincessNinja007 11 месяцев назад +1

    Gentle parenting, also known as parenting yourself first and keeping your cool around your kid

  • @dragonire_dino0856
    @dragonire_dino0856 11 месяцев назад +5

    People just don't understand. They hear the word "gentle" immediately think people are letting their kids run wild and calling it gentle parenting.
    What is permissive parenting? I've seen people mentioned in the comments but no one said what it was.

    • @aaliyah7792
      @aaliyah7792 11 месяцев назад +3

      Permissive parenting is letting your children do whatever.

  • @user-sw9wi1ni2y
    @user-sw9wi1ni2y 20 дней назад

    Thank you for this one

  • @arkbien9303
    @arkbien9303 11 месяцев назад +5

    My mother used gentile discipline and my step father used corporal punishment. My mother's form of discipline worked a hell of a lot better than having my butt beat nearly every day.

    • @kiera6326
      @kiera6326 4 месяца назад

      How on earth did she allow him to do that if gentle parenting is what she believed in?

  • @Anna1ingeborg
    @Anna1ingeborg 7 месяцев назад

    Thanks for making this clear.

  • @boredgrass
    @boredgrass 8 месяцев назад

    ⭐⭐⭐⭐❤ In my youth (in the 70s and 80s) that diffrence was a problem. Both in actual parenting people mistook gentle parenting for permissive, indeed one has to say extreme permissive parenting! That brought gentle parenting into discredit and it parents overwhelmed by the behavioral problems of their kids. Though one has to say that it was the first time that people had tried yhis on a larger scale. And it was a reaction to the extreme authoritarian culture of postwar Germany. Keep up the good work! I am convinced there are many parents who profit from your videos!

  • @LovingHypnoASMR
    @LovingHypnoASMR 11 месяцев назад

    Thank you!!

  • @luka727
    @luka727 10 месяцев назад +1

    Omg i would've loved to know about gentle parenting when my dad fractured my knee in anger, i genuinely didnt know there were parents out there that treat their kids with respect, i kinda just thought every parent was the same

  • @almondkissed3794
    @almondkissed3794 15 дней назад

    You can discipline your id and still respect them ! i always explain why they are in trouble

  • @suechalmers3278
    @suechalmers3278 10 месяцев назад

    Never heard of it. That's how I brought my kids up

  • @catebrooks6779
    @catebrooks6779 11 месяцев назад

    I'm a combo parent... I am like a crunchy outside, soft inside, pretty salty, 😂😂😂

  • @haddles.paddles
    @haddles.paddles 11 месяцев назад +13

    Gentle Parenting = Authoritative Parenting!! The best type for development, backed by years and years of research!

    • @NightRainPanda
      @NightRainPanda 11 месяцев назад +1

      Yes!!! OMG no one would be having this damn issue if all these parents would just use the right language. You're not a "gentle" parent you're an authoritative parent.

    • @pennyforyourthots
      @pennyforyourthots 11 месяцев назад +1

      ​@@NightRainPandaI disagree. I think most of the resistance comes from the fact that historically authoritarian parenting has been very popular, but people simply refer to it in the same way that they refer to authoritative parenting. The amount of people who I have heard admit that their parents straight up abused them who call it "strict but fair" is absolutely horrifying.
      People call it gentle parenting because, in contrast to the widely normalized authoritarian parenting, it IS gentle.
      Personally, I think both terms are kind of bad. I think a term that kind of bridges the Gap would be something like "communicative parenting" because it accurately describes what's going on, but also doesn't have the same connotations that the word "authority" does with how that word has been historically used colloquially in the past.

    • @NightRainPanda
      @NightRainPanda 11 месяцев назад +1

      @@pennyforyourthots I agree the name isn't the best, but knowing the name authoritative gives parents access to more scientific resources, as that's the name it's been studied under.

  • @earthlyworld4698
    @earthlyworld4698 6 месяцев назад

    Thank you

  • @savh3386
    @savh3386 11 месяцев назад

    i would say my dad was very good at gentle parenting, he was always so encouraging and loving and when we had stupid ideas he would say "lets not and say we didnt" and while it confused me as a kid, i laugh at it and say it all the time

  • @ginnyskipper7338
    @ginnyskipper7338 11 месяцев назад

    More! More of these. Explain all 4 and give examples

  • @mamadragonful
    @mamadragonful 11 месяцев назад

    Gentle parenting can be a reasonable approach for some kids and some situations, especially highly verbal children in physically safe environments. It can be dangerous when the environment has serious safety hazards that the child is not old enough to truly understand. It can be overwhelming and frustrating for a child who struggles with language, either expressive or receptive.
    When it goes wrong, it's often because a parent treats a child like an adult, then gets frustrated because the child thinks and acts like a child. In my experience, this tends to devolve into passive-aggressive tactics that over time can become borderline emotional abuse. There's no overt punishments or yelling, but the parent obviously regards the child with anger, disappointment, and disgust. Kids are pretty smart, and being regarded in that way by a parent is far more painful than a time-out, a scolding, or even a spanking.
    If gentle parenting tactics are working well for you and your child, FANTASTIC. Keep at it!
    If it's not working out, try something else. There's nothing inherently "good" about the Gentle Parenting approach. There are many ways to raise kids. Find strategies that work for you.
    Good luck! 🤞🤞🤞🤞

  • @Evie_3vi3
    @Evie_3vi3 10 месяцев назад

    When I was little my family members would say my mom was "giving in" to my fits because instead of yelling at me, (which will never stop a little kid from crying) she would calm me down and actually listen to what I needed. People need to find a middle ground between treating ur kids like they aren't people and letting them walk all over you.

  • @kittyjuneo2218
    @kittyjuneo2218 11 месяцев назад

    I totally agree with the video Jessica, I think you and Claudia are doing a great job raising your kid. I have to ask if you were closer to the mic this time though? I could hear a lot more of your mouth moving to enunciate different words and my misophonia was like “Nope, nuh-uh, no” Could just be my ears are more sensitive today, but other videos were fine. Just wanted to let you know if your setup changed that could bother other people as well. Anyways have a nice day, your videos are great!

  • @dianehallmeyer8901
    @dianehallmeyer8901 11 месяцев назад

    THANK YOU

  • @xxglowenxx
    @xxglowenxx 11 месяцев назад

    I have a chow chow mix and the only thing she responds to is gentle parenting. I didnt know what gentle parenting was until recevently and have accidentally been doing it for the past 10 years lol

  • @keinlieb3818
    @keinlieb3818 Месяц назад +1

    Breaking rules without punishment for breaking the rules lets children know they can get away with anything.

  • @OHSunshineStudio
    @OHSunshineStudio 11 месяцев назад

    This this this this!

  • @Mella.B
    @Mella.B 11 месяцев назад +1

    My family is of the opinion that if it’s not ok to hit adults it’s not ok to hit children, and that young children should not be punished for not having a fully developed brain and thus not being able to understand consequences or able to control their impulses.

  • @rinlozio1108
    @rinlozio1108 11 месяцев назад

    Wow. So many people are misunderstanding gentle parenting that we evolved 2 new words for it (at least, thats what I heard) the responsive parenting which is a new word for what gentle.parenting was suposednto be and now the permisive parenting for the missunderstood veraion. Interesting how language evolves nefore our eyes

  • @Robins_tea
    @Robins_tea 11 месяцев назад

    The thing is, there's a difference between the academic understanding of what gentle parenting is and how people tend to use gentle parenting. I study child development and education (since September so Im in no way a professional lol) and in our classes they told us gentle parenting is bad, since it's permissive. It's interesting because all social media I've consumed about gentle parenting has explained it as not being permissive at all. So there's a disconnect in definitions between groups of what gentle parenting actually is

    • @dragonire_dino0856
      @dragonire_dino0856 11 месяцев назад +2

      People just simply don't understand. They hear the word "gentle" and immediately think It's parenting style that just lets your kids run around wild.

    • @Robins_tea
      @Robins_tea 11 месяцев назад +1

      @@dragonire_dino0856 yeah but it's so weird that the entire academic understanding of it is sooo disconnected from what the Internet says it is

    • @pennyforyourthots
      @pennyforyourthots 11 месяцев назад +1

      I think it's because there's often a disconnect in the way science uses words, and the way people use words in their daily life.
      Academic terms usually focus on extreme accuracy, so words like "authoritative parenting" accurately describe what is being talked about.
      Colloquial understandings usually focus on the ability for The Listener to recognize implications, so while the words used tend to be less accurate, they bring to mind images of what's being talked about. Because of this, the term gentle parenting is used because it brings up a contrast to the widely normalized authoritarian/abusive parenting.
      I think there really needs to be some sort of Gap bridged between the two groups. I think something like communicative parenting for gentle parenting makes sense, since that's the key defining thing that separates it from other styles of parenting. I think authoritarian parenting is probably generally better called abusive parenting or controlling parenting, because a lot of the people who use this style and parenting value authority above all else, and so the negativity of it needs to be emphasized. And permissive parenting is probably best described as inattentive parenting, because it describes what the parents are doing to cause the problem.

    • @Robins_tea
      @Robins_tea 11 месяцев назад

      @@pennyforyourthots agreed, except on the authorative parenting being called abusive parenting since not all authorative parenting is abusive and since other parenting styles (mainly neglectful parenting) can also be abusive. But yes agreed on calling gentle parenting communicative parenting, that really seems like the best word for it :D

  • @Picklescape
    @Picklescape 11 месяцев назад

    Is there/will there be a full video on this?

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 11 месяцев назад +2

      It’s from the “How positive discipline helps your child” video she posted in October. ❤

    • @Picklescape
      @Picklescape 11 месяцев назад +1

      @jennifers5560 thank you!

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 11 месяцев назад +1

      @@Picklescape you’re welcome!

  • @tetsubo57
    @tetsubo57 11 месяцев назад +9

    The worst things I hear about gentle parenting are from people that had been abused as minors. And think they should pass that on.

    • @somebody9
      @somebody9 11 месяцев назад +5

      quite. They think they turned out well and that the abuse somehow made them better as a coping mechanism, so they think it's natural to dk the same to their own kids.

  • @viktoriaprifti1016
    @viktoriaprifti1016 11 месяцев назад

    Me being beaten up as a kid: 🧍

  • @phya9324
    @phya9324 11 месяцев назад

    My son is 16 now and everyone keeps telling me about how good he is and how I've raised him so well compared to other teens. I'm always so confused because I just treated him like a person and had been gentle parenting without knowing.

  • @tabitas.2719
    @tabitas.2719 11 месяцев назад

    ❤😊❤

  • @SweeteaDove
    @SweeteaDove 11 месяцев назад

    Gentle parenting is also known as Authoritative parenting, and it's been found that kids who grow up under this parenting style turn out as much more independent and self confident when they're older- as opposed to permissive or authoritarian parenting

  • @erinokay9991
    @erinokay9991 11 месяцев назад

    🙌PREACH🙌

  • @Aries_Kuromi
    @Aries_Kuromi Месяц назад

    Gentle parenting is normal parenting

  • @UnholyGlitch404
    @UnholyGlitch404 10 месяцев назад

    Honestly, I was raised with permissive parenting until my teenage years... And when I hear descriptions of gentle parenting, I never picture anything like how I was raised? I don't know where this idea comes from?

  • @zigzagperson
    @zigzagperson 11 месяцев назад

    Say it louder for the people in the back

  • @patiwhit5219
    @patiwhit5219 18 дней назад

    Yes, but how do I gentle parent a 12 month old? He has no idea what I’m saying more than half the time. He wants to play with something inappropriate, I try to redirect him, and he just throws himself back screaming. I have no clue how to handle this 😅

  • @nakefatty9167
    @nakefatty9167 10 месяцев назад

    Just don't be too gentle when it comes the inevitable boundary crossing.

  • @1One2Three5Eight13
    @1One2Three5Eight13 11 месяцев назад

    I confess, I've never understood what makes "gentle parenting" an actual thing, that gets its own name. As a philosophy it doesn't really stand out (at least not to someone raised in the '80s and '90s)

    • @aaliyah7792
      @aaliyah7792 11 месяцев назад +2

      Basically, in Gentle parenting you actually treat your child like another human being and you take time to explain things and communicate with your HUMAN child.

    • @strawbunny93
      @strawbunny93 11 месяцев назад +1

      If it doesn't "stand out" to you that means you got lucky and were parented in a healthy way. The majority of families think hitting and screaming at your children is normal. I grew up in the 90s and I was hit with belts and hangers as well as forcibly fed soap as punishment.

    • @1One2Three5Eight13
      @1One2Three5Eight13 11 месяцев назад

      @@strawbunny93 I'm really sorry that your parents treated you that way, and that they lied to you about the social acceptability of it. The good news is that they did lie about it - I've always had a hard time finding data, but I did find a study that stopped just before my age - I believe the youngest participants were born in the early 1980's, and there was a general downwards trend in people being hit by their parents. In the youngest age group people who had been hit by their parents were still in the majority, but only just, and the vast majority of respondents either were never or rarely hit. (Note that this isn't even a case of "well some countries are stand out about this", because it's Canadian, and we're hardly a leader in that area - spanking is still legal for children between the ages of 2 to 12. While there is obviously a reasonable person test in the law, there is nothing other than using an object to hit the child that is explicitly illegal.) So by the time you and I came around it was even rarer.
      That aside - whether or not you hit the child isn't even indicative of gentle parenting, based on the usual definition of recognizing your children's humanity. There are people who will use physical force on adults in altercations. There are ways to not recognise that your child is an independent person without physically abusing them.

  • @TURPEG
    @TURPEG 11 месяцев назад

    5:36 no way cure for autism?!?!

  • @clarenceg6698
    @clarenceg6698 11 месяцев назад +1

    I wish I could subscribe to you I love your content but my parents don’t support you 😢❤

  • @aeoligarlic4024
    @aeoligarlic4024 11 месяцев назад +3

    Sadly not all parents get thr difference and end up becoming permissive parents

    • @MirA12334
      @MirA12334 11 месяцев назад +2

      Or abusive because theyd rather be that than permissive

    • @ToniPust
      @ToniPust 11 месяцев назад

      @MirA12334 Yes! And way more often than the other way around! So tired of all the strawman arguments. People are literally inventing parents with permissive parenting styles (after whitnessing one single mistake a stranger made in public).
      There ist one particular urban legend circulating in Germany, where I live. First time I heard it, was 30 years ago in my home town, and the story took place in a bus (a child misbehaves and bothers a grown up stranger, the mother parents permissively, the stranger is stunned!)
      Moved to Berlin (hundreds of miles away) 25 years ago, and heard the exact same story dozens of times since then. Taking place in a tram, a subway train, etc. etc. Other than that: The same story, word by word!
      Every time I ask the person: "Did you yourself whitness that?" (of course not), "Who is the whitness? Someone you know?" (No, it's always only a story they heard somewhere).
      When you have to make sh!t up to bring your point across, or need to grasp at every silly littly anecdote you hear (whithout even checking, if it's actually legit), when you ignore studies and statistics -
      Ask yourself, why your're doing all of that. Maybe your own childhood wasn't as "normal" as you think it was. Maybe (just maybe) your're simply afraid to face your own demons.

  • @purpleducck
    @purpleducck 11 месяцев назад +1

    Boundaries? Nah we don’t get those here

  • @Feralfoundry
    @Feralfoundry 11 месяцев назад +1

    I like this definition. But I must admit, when she's using her posh voice, she could probably have me thinking gentler towards any number of things. Maybe that's how they achieved an empire?!,, 😂😂😂

  • @elizabethheiland5632
    @elizabethheiland5632 6 месяцев назад

    I thought gentle parenting is about no consequences unless you have to leave a situation for some kind of important reason. Theres a lot of explaining why they shouldnt do something so that they can learn. No punishments. They aren't t necessary. Lets say you as an adult make a mistake. Do you need to be punished all of the time to learn? No

  • @Buck_Bentley
    @Buck_Bentley 7 месяцев назад

    That is my gay son

  • @isabelafreitas4506
    @isabelafreitas4506 8 дней назад

    You're just creating names and terms

    • @a.abarker8387
      @a.abarker8387 3 дня назад

      that describes the entire purpose of every language ever

  • @NightRainPanda
    @NightRainPanda 11 месяцев назад +1

    The thing causing this issue in the first place is uneducated parents rebranding authoritative parenting to a more confusing, permissive-sounding name. I also think parents would be able to find better data on this parenting style using the title used by the scientific community for decades.

  • @ivanhoeluisio7718
    @ivanhoeluisio7718 11 месяцев назад +1

    My family strictly and conservately catholic and they always teach me how to do the things to build the character XD

  • @BL-sd2qw
    @BL-sd2qw 10 месяцев назад +1

    95% of the videos about gentle parenting that I see appearing on my recommendations are just people explaining how permissive parenting is not gentle parenting.
    At this point, if someone doesn't get it, it's because they don't want to.
    (Pls, stop making this videos and do actual content 🙏 Sincerely: me)
    Pd: to all of you who make gentle parenting videos: pls; don't put children in the videos. Children have a right to privacy. You can do the videos without putting your kids on the whole internet. Sincerely: me again

  • @jayymack1993
    @jayymack1993 4 месяца назад

    If the concept of gentle parenting is simply not being an abusive parent, there shouldn't be a name for it. Giving general concepts like "parenting" a label is restrictive and unrealistic. You will raise your voice at your kids one day, as your parents likely have at least once towards you, as your teacher, coach, or any adult has probably done to you at least once and you did not die. You not only did not die, but you were possibly the last generation of people to grow up fairly normal without an unearned sense of entitlement and an ability to follow rules outside of the home. The world is not always "gentle". Your child's teacher will not, and is not required to "explain" or "negotiate" basic commands to your child. TLDR: if you're going to be a parent that obsesses over every little interaction with your child, you're going to drive yourself crazy and you should home school your kids and keep them in a bubble.

  • @mjf40087
    @mjf40087 11 месяцев назад

    This misconception comes from netizens giving this parenting style the new name "gentle parenting", which gives others a lot of preconceived notions of what that means. Academically, its called authoratative parenting.

  • @Karamazov9
    @Karamazov9 11 месяцев назад

    I guess the question is, did your kid consent to have you as their parent and make rules for them? If not (and if you spoke to your child before they were born let me know how) then I don’t think that you have a right to be telling them what to do.

    • @yourlocalfairy03
      @yourlocalfairy03 11 месяцев назад +1

      Wtf? Rewatch the video because none of that did she imply nor say

    • @dragonire_dino0856
      @dragonire_dino0856 11 месяцев назад

      Are you on drugs? It feels like you are

  • @adventuresawaitathome
    @adventuresawaitathome 10 месяцев назад

    I don’t understand the “and definitely not positive discipline!” in this context. Gentle parenting and positive parenting/discipline are extremely related and follow the same goal, to raise responsible, loving and respectful children.

  • @AnjoletteJohnson
    @AnjoletteJohnson Месяц назад

    They don't listen if you do gentle parenting nd time out is useless cause they can still get up from where ever u out then plus grounding didn't do good either,seems like they use as a way to get wht they want

  • @jschreiber6461
    @jschreiber6461 11 месяцев назад

    Why are you punishing your adorable son? Rupert?! Really? That name went with Murdoch! His life at school will be miserable with a name like that. Still… could be worse. You could have named him Indigo. (In-ego)!
    Or Apple. Or Orange!
    He would be so much better off with a saintly or angelic name… Michael… Nicholas maybe Gabriel 😉
    Or even just Me… a name he would call himself😊

  • @Ervtard
    @Ervtard 24 дня назад

    They are the same fking thing. Stop playing with words. You dont negociate with kids, you are a parent, not a friend.

  • @Fopenplop
    @Fopenplop 11 месяцев назад

    A child needs at least one emotionally stunted parent who can't self reflect or communicate, otherwise they'll never be able to deal with the real world

    • @aaliyah7792
      @aaliyah7792 11 месяцев назад +1

      No.

    • @pennyforyourthots
      @pennyforyourthots 11 месяцев назад +1

      I can't tell if this is a joke or not lmao. This sounds like the kind of thing I'd say ironically.

    • @Fopenplop
      @Fopenplop 11 месяцев назад

      @@pennyforyourthots it was a joke, just not very funny

  • @MonteCarloMartin
    @MonteCarloMartin 4 месяца назад

    Bs

  • @Cdwegryd1133
    @Cdwegryd1133 3 месяца назад

    The problem is these “gentle parents” are just permissive. Look how shxt gen alpha is