The guy mad about the plants is very relatable. I go on a soapbox whenever anyone tries to tell me anything wrong about anything relating to my special interest or hyperfixation.
I mean I do agree with them. I got 8 out of nine of those and I am diagnosed as neuoridvergent. People spreading bs about "it's normal life!" "you're making it up!" "if you want accomodations be made for you then there should be some for me too!" "everybody goes through that! Stop making excuses!" makes me feel like that 😑.
To me "It's normal" and "It's life" says more about the person than it does about what the list is. aka they should probably look into neurodivergency as well.
@@BliffleSplick it's something I've beard Karens say. Because some people belittle the symptoms and think it's something we all deal with and we're looking for sympathy rather than actual help. There was a trend of people saying all women experience symptoms of adhd throught their life and it honestly disgust me. Because I have adhd and I can assure you nobody other than who has adhd can truly understand what it feels like to have the condition. Not some random middle aged woman trying to guilt trip disabled people into being less disabled and more accomodating to them.
Nooo because I actually did relate to so much of the autism ones that I actually started to make a spreadsheet its literally right next to me because I watch this compilations to write something down if I relate😭💀 The moment the person in the second video said that I felt so called out
Yes same here, except it was specifically on my Notes app. I wrote down all these things and had them ready for my Counseling… Didn’t need them cuz she said to look into it as she’s not qualified to diagnose lol So I also felt called out lmaooo
Personally I like the interaction of “how are you” with people I have no other way of talking to (especially adults i am not related to) because it shows me that they’re putting in the time to go through this with me and I love seeing them smile and hearing the smile in their voice. Its also nice because it means that person cares enough about me to ask, and that im a person that they actually recognize (I have a hard time fitting in with already established groups so when adults start acknowledging me its kinda like the first step, and I really love it)
That mirroring thing. I find that even in adulthood. I go seeking some sort of response and I get one, but it's not RIGHT and it makes me feel like I got no response.
i didn't make a spreadsheet, i made a dossier. it has, among other things, excerpts from old diary entries (particularly from lockdown where i wasn't bothered by the fact that i couldn't leave the house or hang out with people like at all), the progression of my sensory issues throughout time, various attempts at describing how i feel when i have to leave the house, screenshots of my resources, the ways i'm affected daily by not being able to feel myself, and an in-depth history of my social life (or lack thereof) and at the back, quotes from my diagnosed autistic friends, who make up 90% of my friends and who im not even that close to because we have vastly different flavours (i have a much more limited interest in other people as a whole than they do). i'm currently working on the list of and evidence for potential comorbidities, although that's really just a footnote. but like i might also just be an introvert idk
A note about mirroring: I can see how that creator is applying the word, but in psychology it’s used in a very specific way, and it’s important: During our early development, mirroring is really important, and here’s what it looks like: Baby falls down, baby is upset; parent goes to the child and mirrors the child’s distress in their facial expressions, names the feeling, and soothes the baby. They don’t do it exactly, but rather in a way that shows the baby what that emotion looks like while also being secure and calm. It helps the baby learn about the emotions they’re experiencing. That’s secure mirroring. If the caretaker mirrors the distress exactly, as in they are equally distressed, it can make the child feel like their emotions are contagious. This more vague use of the “mirroring” term where someone is describing something to a non-baby feels off. It’s a valuable insight, but I think it should be called something else.
Ugh the "how are you" question 🤮 I tried answering honestly but then they wanted to discuss my entire trauma history and/or analyze exactly why I'm chronically depressed. Like no, my day is always shit stop asking if something happened. So now I just say "Not bad, not great" or "as usual" or "eh it's life" or "could be worse". I feel icky lying so these are as close to the truth I can get.
Regarding the mirroring thing, I think that's happened to me throughout my childhood. But something I find really frustrating is when I'm upset/frustrated/angry/depressed/etc. and I try to explain how I feel to someone else and they completely misunderstand or think of something different (i.e I tell them I'm upset, "oh, would you like a hug?" "No, I don't like hugs" "but hugs make ME feel better"). It's also frustrating because I know they're not understanding but I can't figure out how to elaborate and I get frustrated by just that and the fact I'm not getting my immediate needs met properly/at all, and it often gets to the point I cry and have a meltdown or I simply get so angry that I leave the situation and sit by myself
The skipping the cutscene might not really work in non english speaking cultures. During my business english course in uni we were speciffically informed that "how do you do?" is not there to answer but to respond with "how do you do." so it seems that there is a cultural acceptance to skip the cutscene specificly in English speaking countries. In Germany for example, this could be considered rude, but no one would say anything. The right answer would something along the line of "Good, thank you, and you?" but you might actually get an honest answer, and a German telling you about their dead grandmother. So be careful asking how a German does. An other more unformal answer might be "Ich kann nicht klagen" (I can't complain). Since I too don't like to lie, I answer with "I can complain.", but in the same chipper, happy go lucky voice one would say "I can't complain" This is for onece a non answer, becaus of course I can complain, i'm Gernan, but its also an ice breaker, because people expect the "I can't, complain" and take half a second to realize I said the opposite. I usually get a chuckle and people think I'm clever. While subverting the expectation humor is something that does not work at all with some people on the spectrum, it is usually a big hit with neurotypical people, so if you don't get why this specifically might receive a positive response, try giving it a try anyway.
As a fellow German I can confirm that giving a slightly sarcastic/humorous answer like „could complain“ does work well with neurotypicals, because apparently their need for a short nonspecific answer has been met within the „small talk rules“ as they usually really don’t want to know what’s really going on with you, and on top of it you don‘t need to lie which is great, because I absolutely despise lying. I do that with people I don‘t know at all or don‘t know well enough to know if they actually are interested in what is going on inside me. Good thing too that I‘m from Bavaria where it is considered a sufficient answer to say „Passt scho…“ oder „Muss ja…“ which could be loosely translated to „all within parameters“ and „needs must…“.
In the Netherlands it isn't really a thing too, it's a 50/50 chance that people will either just say good or they will tell you their life story. I personally say I'm doing great when I am or that I'm doing great considering the circumstances, so that if people want to know they can ask but if they don't they don't. If I'm feeling crappy it's usually because I'm tired so I'll just say that. Again, I don't think it's very usual for people you don't know to ask you, it's usually people you at least somewhat know.
That's good I'm stealin it lol. I've always just said something like "eh, I'm alive" and ppl usually just laugh awkwardly anyway. Now I got something actually funny to say lmao
Watching the first one. Not sure I understand why that is any better then just saying “good how are you?” It’s over just as quickly, and then no one thinks you’re rude or not paying attention. Not that I’m saying it’s rude not to answer, and I totally understand feeling like it’s strange to do small talk with people at all or say you’re good when you’re not. I’m only hyper aware because I’ve been called “rude” or socially off my entire life, so I pay probably too close attention to these things now. If I’m talking to someone I actually know or like well, we might still automatically do this exchange but I would give more details or be more honest cause I’m comfortable with them and want to continue the convo. Otherwise, it ends quickly, and both parties, usually, are very happy for it to go fast. Lol Edit: This is coming from someone who is not neurotypical and does struggle with “basic” social communication and understanding. This is just my experience.
American here. I respond to “Hi, how are you?” with “hello (smile and nod)”. Where I’m from it is important to acknowledge anyone you make eye contact with. I nod, others ask this question or something like it, they do not want an honest answer.
What level of neurodivergent are you when you hear lose yourself and man after midnight but also realise one night in Bangkok would fit and be cool af?
thanks for this compilation! these are soooo relatable, the last one, for me, especially, it's just so annoying and sad at the same time that people would invalidate you and your needs every chance they get
I instantly shut down people that try to share information on my topic of Autism. I have been deep researching for 5 years!!! I have my Autism interview soon to get my diagnosis.
1:10-1:20 Oh hun, do you realize Autism is an actual condition and non-binary is a chosen religion? I support your right to identify however you feel comfortable but I think it's important to protect the vulnerable from tyranny so please do more research, I recommend Irreversible Damage by Abigail Shriver, thank you!
Being non binary is not chosen either though I do agree autism is a disability/condition. Being non binary is similar to being trans in the binary way (mtf or ftm) if a trans person could choose to not have dysphoria which is also a recognized condition in the medical field and in psychology they probably would. As for people who are non binary without dysphoria they are still valid but I can understand what you mean a little with it being “chosen” but really it just isn’t fitting into the gender binary standards or roles which you also can’t choose whether you “fit” or not you can only try to force yourself (which can be harmful and traumatizing) as well as forcing an autistic person to mask or conform to neurotypicalls (though with autism symptoms can be more severe like autistic burnout and meltdowns which can last years) but also since the gender binary was a colonial (wasn’t a thing or as strict in many cultures but was brought by colonizers) and mostly a neuro typical ideal a neuro divergent person may feel more uncomfortable or have more trouble conforming to that therefore identifying or finding out that they’re non binary, so that’s how they can be related. And gender identity and sex can relate to how your brain is made much like being neurodivergent (one is having your brain wired differently and one is sometimes having your brain shape or size match more with the opposite gender to what you were born as or more in between then a cis person (someone who identities with the sex and gender they were born with). Though I will look into your book recommendations incase that clears up some of the things I mentioned too.
@@Inevitably_Invisible I appreciate your words. I agree with the point about gender dysphoria being a condition and not a choice. I agree non-binary w/o dysphoria are still valid and I appreciate you understand what I mean a little because technically that was the only category I meant to (politely) refer to.
@@ConfusedBean777 You are saying the way a person is attracted to someone isn't a chosen religion, I agree with you. I think you misunderstood me. I said being non-binary is a religion. To confirm, gender dysphoria is a condition and adults should be free to seek treatment. I'm not discriminating I just think it's important to distinguish between conditions and choices.
@@ladye42 non-binary people can have gender dysphoria, which is not a choice. People can feel dysphoric about binary genders. So if trans people have a condition so do non-binary people with dysphoria. I don’t understand. Why do you think it’s a religion? What is your definition of a religion?
American here. I respond to “Hi, how are you?” with “hello (smile and nod)”. Where I’m from it is important to acknowledge anyone you make eye contact with. I nod, others ask this question or something like it, they do not want an honest answer.
The guy mad about the plants is very relatable. I go on a soapbox whenever anyone tries to tell me anything wrong about anything relating to my special interest or hyperfixation.
I mean I do agree with them. I got 8 out of nine of those and I am diagnosed as neuoridvergent. People spreading bs about "it's normal life!" "you're making it up!" "if you want accomodations be made for you then there should be some for me too!" "everybody goes through that! Stop making excuses!" makes me feel like that 😑.
To me "It's normal" and "It's life" says more about the person than it does about what the list is. aka they should probably look into neurodivergency as well.
@@BliffleSplick it's something I've beard Karens say. Because some people belittle the symptoms and think it's something we all deal with and we're looking for sympathy rather than actual help. There was a trend of people saying all women experience symptoms of adhd throught their life and it honestly disgust me. Because I have adhd and I can assure you nobody other than who has adhd can truly understand what it feels like to have the condition. Not some random middle aged woman trying to guilt trip disabled people into being less disabled and more accomodating to them.
Nooo because I actually did relate to so much of the autism ones that I actually started to make a spreadsheet its literally right next to me because I watch this compilations to write something down if I relate😭💀
The moment the person in the second video said that I felt so called out
Yes same here, except it was specifically on my Notes app. I wrote down all these things and had them ready for my Counseling… Didn’t need them cuz she said to look into it as she’s not qualified to diagnose lol
So I also felt called out lmaooo
Also why is it so expensive??!
Personally I like the interaction of “how are you” with people I have no other way of talking to (especially adults i am not related to) because it shows me that they’re putting in the time to go through this with me and I love seeing them smile and hearing the smile in their voice. Its also nice because it means that person cares enough about me to ask, and that im a person that they actually recognize (I have a hard time fitting in with already established groups so when adults start acknowledging me its kinda like the first step, and I really love it)
The first hack is genius
That mirroring thing. I find that even in adulthood. I go seeking some sort of response and I get one, but it's not RIGHT and it makes me feel like I got no response.
i didn't make a spreadsheet, i made a dossier. it has, among other things, excerpts from old diary entries (particularly from lockdown where i wasn't bothered by the fact that i couldn't leave the house or hang out with people like at all), the progression of my sensory issues throughout time, various attempts at describing how i feel when i have to leave the house, screenshots of my resources, the ways i'm affected daily by not being able to feel myself, and an in-depth history of my social life (or lack thereof) and at the back, quotes from my diagnosed autistic friends, who make up 90% of my friends and who im not even that close to because we have vastly different flavours (i have a much more limited interest in other people as a whole than they do). i'm currently working on the list of and evidence for potential comorbidities, although that's really just a footnote.
but like i might also just be an introvert idk
I just answer honnestly all the time
same 😂
Can you add subtitles to these, or at least activate the auto ones?
This this this. It's *so hard* to understand these sometimes.
The plant guy’s whole day was ruined in 2 seconds flat, that’s a whole mood
A note about mirroring: I can see how that creator is applying the word, but in psychology it’s used in a very specific way, and it’s important:
During our early development, mirroring is really important, and here’s what it looks like: Baby falls down, baby is upset; parent goes to the child and mirrors the child’s distress in their facial expressions, names the feeling, and soothes the baby. They don’t do it exactly, but rather in a way that shows the baby what that emotion looks like while also being secure and calm. It helps the baby learn about the emotions they’re experiencing.
That’s secure mirroring. If the caretaker mirrors the distress exactly, as in they are equally distressed, it can make the child feel like their emotions are contagious.
This more vague use of the “mirroring” term where someone is describing something to a non-baby feels off. It’s a valuable insight, but I think it should be called something else.
Ugh the "how are you" question 🤮 I tried answering honestly but then they wanted to discuss my entire trauma history and/or analyze exactly why I'm chronically depressed. Like no, my day is always shit stop asking if something happened.
So now I just say "Not bad, not great" or "as usual" or "eh it's life" or "could be worse". I feel icky lying so these are as close to the truth I can get.
Regarding the mirroring thing, I think that's happened to me throughout my childhood. But something I find really frustrating is when I'm upset/frustrated/angry/depressed/etc. and I try to explain how I feel to someone else and they completely misunderstand or think of something different (i.e I tell them I'm upset, "oh, would you like a hug?" "No, I don't like hugs" "but hugs make ME feel better"). It's also frustrating because I know they're not understanding but I can't figure out how to elaborate and I get frustrated by just that and the fact I'm not getting my immediate needs met properly/at all, and it often gets to the point I cry and have a meltdown or I simply get so angry that I leave the situation and sit by myself
The skipping the cutscene might not really work in non english speaking cultures. During my business english course in uni we were speciffically informed that "how do you do?" is not there to answer but to respond with "how do you do." so it seems that there is a cultural acceptance to skip the cutscene specificly in English speaking countries. In Germany for example, this could be considered rude, but no one would say anything. The right answer would something along the line of "Good, thank you, and you?" but you might actually get an honest answer, and a German telling you about their dead grandmother. So be careful asking how a German does. An other more unformal answer might be "Ich kann nicht klagen" (I can't complain). Since I too don't like to lie, I answer with "I can complain.", but in the same chipper, happy go lucky voice one would say "I can't complain" This is for onece a non answer, becaus of course I can complain, i'm Gernan, but its also an ice breaker, because people expect the "I can't, complain" and take half a second to realize I said the opposite. I usually get a chuckle and people think I'm clever.
While subverting the expectation humor is something that does not work at all with some people on the spectrum, it is usually a big hit with neurotypical people, so if you don't get why this specifically might receive a positive response, try giving it a try anyway.
As a fellow German I can confirm that giving a slightly sarcastic/humorous answer like „could complain“ does work well with neurotypicals, because apparently their need for a short nonspecific answer has been met within the „small talk rules“ as they usually really don’t want to know what’s really going on with you, and on top of it you don‘t need to lie which is great, because I absolutely despise lying.
I do that with people I don‘t know at all or don‘t know well enough to know if they actually are interested in what is going on inside me.
Good thing too that I‘m from Bavaria where it is considered a sufficient answer to say „Passt scho…“ oder „Muss ja…“ which could be loosely translated to „all within parameters“ and „needs must…“.
In the Netherlands it isn't really a thing too, it's a 50/50 chance that people will either just say good or they will tell you their life story. I personally say I'm doing great when I am or that I'm doing great considering the circumstances, so that if people want to know they can ask but if they don't they don't. If I'm feeling crappy it's usually because I'm tired so I'll just say that. Again, I don't think it's very usual for people you don't know to ask you, it's usually people you at least somewhat know.
That's good I'm stealin it lol. I've always just said something like "eh, I'm alive" and ppl usually just laugh awkwardly anyway. Now I got something actually funny to say lmao
Watching the first one. Not sure I understand why that is any better then just saying “good how are you?” It’s over just as quickly, and then no one thinks you’re rude or not paying attention. Not that I’m saying it’s rude not to answer, and I totally understand feeling like it’s strange to do small talk with people at all or say you’re good when you’re not. I’m only hyper aware because I’ve been called “rude” or socially off my entire life, so I pay probably too close attention to these things now. If I’m talking to someone I actually know or like well, we might still automatically do this exchange but I would give more details or be more honest cause I’m comfortable with them and want to continue the convo. Otherwise, it ends quickly, and both parties, usually, are very happy for it to go fast. Lol
Edit: This is coming from someone who is not neurotypical and does struggle with “basic” social communication and understanding. This is just my experience.
American here. I respond to “Hi, how are you?” with “hello (smile and nod)”. Where I’m from it is important to acknowledge anyone you make eye contact with. I nod, others ask this question or something like it, they do not want an honest answer.
What level of neurodivergent are you when you hear lose yourself and man after midnight but also realise one night in Bangkok would fit and be cool af?
thanks for this compilation! these are soooo relatable, the last one, for me, especially, it's just so annoying and sad at the same time that people would invalidate you and your needs every chance they get
Yes. I often skip answering the "how are you?" too. I was surprised how well it worked.
I instantly shut down people that try to share information on my topic of Autism. I have been deep researching for 5 years!!! I have my Autism interview soon to get my diagnosis.
9/10 because I really love answering completely pointless questionnaires and quizzes for fun
Who is the user talking about “Signs of trauma with no apparent trauma”? I can’t read their name as the video is blurry. Thanks.
I think it says @actually_emily7
DUDE IM LITERALLY MAKING A SPREADSHEET TO SHOW MY THERAPIST ABOUT WHY IM AUTISTIC AS I F*CKING WATCH THIS
how can i find a full version of abba x eminem
on youtube i found only an 1 minute and 5 sec mix "ABBA Eminem mix" from the channel James..potkukelkka
I’m looking at the ten points and wondering “doesn’t everyone do that?”
Nope, and certainly not to some of the extremes she was explaining.
1:10-1:20
Oh hun, do you realize Autism is an actual condition and non-binary is a chosen religion? I support your right to identify however you feel comfortable but I think it's important to protect the vulnerable from tyranny so please do more research, I recommend Irreversible Damage by Abigail Shriver, thank you!
Being non binary is not chosen either though I do agree autism is a disability/condition. Being non binary is similar to being trans in the binary way (mtf or ftm) if a trans person could choose to not have dysphoria which is also a recognized condition in the medical field and in psychology they probably would. As for people who are non binary without dysphoria they are still valid but I can understand what you mean a little with it being “chosen” but really it just isn’t fitting into the gender binary standards or roles which you also can’t choose whether you “fit” or not you can only try to force yourself (which can be harmful and traumatizing) as well as forcing an autistic person to mask or conform to neurotypicalls (though with autism symptoms can be more severe like autistic burnout and meltdowns which can last years) but also since the gender binary was a colonial (wasn’t a thing or as strict in many cultures but was brought by colonizers) and mostly a neuro typical ideal a neuro divergent person may feel more uncomfortable or have more trouble conforming to that therefore identifying or finding out that they’re non binary, so that’s how they can be related. And gender identity and sex can relate to how your brain is made much like being neurodivergent (one is having your brain wired differently and one is sometimes having your brain shape or size match more with the opposite gender to what you were born as or more in between then a cis person (someone who identities with the sex and gender they were born with). Though I will look into your book recommendations incase that clears up some of the things I mentioned too.
@@Inevitably_Invisible
I appreciate your words.
I agree with the point about gender dysphoria being a condition and not a choice.
I agree non-binary w/o dysphoria are still valid and I appreciate you understand what I mean a little because technically that was the only category I meant to (politely) refer to.
Uh no. Being lgbt isn’t a religion.
@@ConfusedBean777
You are saying the way a person is attracted to someone isn't a chosen religion, I agree with you.
I think you misunderstood me.
I said being non-binary is a religion.
To confirm, gender dysphoria is a condition and adults should be free to seek treatment. I'm not discriminating I just think it's important to distinguish between conditions and choices.
@@ladye42 non-binary people can have gender dysphoria, which is not a choice. People can feel dysphoric about binary genders. So if trans people have a condition so do non-binary people with dysphoria. I don’t understand. Why do you think it’s a religion? What is your definition of a religion?
American here. I respond to “Hi, how are you?” with “hello (smile and nod)”. Where I’m from it is important to acknowledge anyone you make eye contact with. I nod, others ask this question or something like it, they do not want an honest answer.