@@EmpressC96 I've known successful women who have treated their low earning men like kings and those men still cheated and treated them badly. Out of plain jealousy that the woman is earning more than them. Men are extremely envious of a higher earning woman regardless of how she treats him. So nothing she does will be good enough for him as long as shes making more money...
@@vikingrolloishot1789 Mmmm, maybe every man is different. Gotta find out they’re real intentions before anything . See what they actions show instead of saying it
Missing the point. Call him what you want to call him. But understand he is the man and like you submit to your white boss, submit to him when you get home. Be feminine, let go of control.
Looks like all you wanted was the validation of your experience...now that you think you got it, What's next? More complaining? With all the options a man has for a partner, complaining about one particular race of a woman is a mute effort. It screams, "I am not successful at getting and keeping a partner." It should not be an issue in a world where you can date any race. If a man has an issue partering, then he is the problem. It's sad and funny at the same time because I've seen more drugheads with a partner than today's men.
@@laurencameron3150 Now what we not about to do is sit up here and play stupid/dumb. Not only in America but overseas the black woman is known to be hard to deal with. Even after countless videos of WOMEN admitting to y’all bullshit and you wanna sit up here and talk about some damn data/stats etc. Girl bye cuz you too damn grown and should know better. So I guess everyone lying. You can see a crime on video and know they guilty rightttttt but we still gotta have a trial to prove what that they’re guilty. Do we have data. Yes it’s countless videos and if you don’t know by now then you just don’t wanna know. It takes a real woman to admit the bullshit y’all do. I love my sisters but y’all make it harder to love y’all because of y’all shenanigans
@@soppres7406 I just had to chuckle at not successful at getting and keeping a partner. I have 3 girls 1 baby momma AKA wife of 14 years. That sounds successful to me as a black man What’s your status???
@@shaicarter1 Ok using your own logic then the same applies to black men world wide. I mean it’s said that y’all are broke, aggressive, abusive, and abandon your children. If all it takes is someone saying it’s true then it has to be applied to the entire community and there’s no need for actual facts of the statement, right? I mean by your logic, what’s the point of protesting when black men are shot when the cops are actually doing us a favor by getting criminal black men off the street, right?
I’ve seen women do it a lot. Sometimes I feel like I’m not on the same internet as everyone else lol. But I have to be grateful when someone who thinks we don’t finally sees it.
@@LUX_8 I've been seeing you pop up in the comment section and you sound very pained and disgruntled... As much as you have very irresponsible men in your country, Black American women remain the most disrespectful women in the world, and no responsible man is willing to put up with that... So take it easy, and realize that both parties need a lot of work "together"
Because it adds to where you’re going throughout life, it makes it easier for you guys to get there. It makes it easier for you guys to give your kids a better more stable life that’s why.
@@MrTsukudu only useless if you and her do not decide to sit down and allocate where her money is going. It’s only useless if you don’t sit down and have an agreement with her about her money, a percentage of it could go towards saving for your kids future college. It could go towards house, goods, food, things of that nature, but you guys refuse to use your brains.
In all fairness though, some of them are mad at the energy they ASSUME comes with that. I've literally met guys that were talking to me quite fine, showing interest, then found out my career and lost interest. I was the same person you were talking to 5 min ago🤷🏾♀️.
@@KEOSHAANEILIA Stop with the insecurity talk. I understand men that want no part of that. I've been in boardrooms with these type of women, and that male energy does bot turn off. Only lesser men can live with that.
Lol they assuming based on the many experiences that they and all they friends have been through. Guys don't see a benefit in Getting super successful career woman because a woman is still a woman. Your money is y'all's money her money is her money. So why would he care
Women are absolutely terrible at three things: (1) Choosing the right guy to give their chastity to, (2) deciding who to have children with, (3) vetting a man before marriage. You know I’m not lying. When was the last time two women talked about not only doing this effectively but excelling in this area? It’s easier to say “I feel,” it’s easier to go trial and easier, and lack accountability. It makes sense that women are terrible at this. You don’t even know if you want to be masculine or feminine, all of you are 10’s, even if you weigh as much as a football player. Lol.
As a child from a single mother home I used to fall for this BS all the time and just believe them and take them at their word. Only when I stepped back and looked at their behavior from a third-party perspective that I realized they were lying to themselves out loud to me. That's usually what I hear with statements like this she doesn't expect me to believe that she is saying it so she believes that even more
@@YouFallenforit with 99% of women honestly they know the truth their just aware that most of us men become aware of the real world years after them and they just want to see if you know enough to see through them. They might play mad when you call them out but deep down they only respect men that check them on their delusions.
👏👏👏 This lady I knew kept saying her husband was jealous of her doctoral degree when in reality she kept bragging about it. Nobody cared but her and she thought she was better
There seem to be a lot of communication issues between men and women about trust that the other will not take advantage of them. Men want to be needed and appreciated but can be scared to give. Women want to be loved and cared for but can be afraid of being vulnerable.
@@MrTsukudu I’m glad you feel comfortable with paying for somethings. However, giving isn’t just about money. It’s about time, actions, and listening as well. It’s scary to give when you feel it may not be accepted, appreciated or understood.
Two heads have always been better than one! However, like bruh said ‘ a relationship is only hard when one person is working on it’! Everyone needs a partner, friend, an advocate! And, so what, if it turns into a romantic thing! More power to the ones that know this and have strived!
As a woman who had a father in her life, calling your husband “daddy” is super cringe. Some men want a partner, some want a subordinate (helpmate). Ladies get your success, but if you want a husband, you have to recognize where you need him, just like he has to know where he needs you. Also, if he says he doesn’t care about your success or degrees, stay away, that’s not a match for you. There are men who will celebrate your success with you while still holding their position as men.
THANK YOU! Nobody is hating on you or mad you make money and have so many accolades attached to your name, WE REAL MEN LOVE THAT… it’s the moment you start with that “I don’t need you” or that “I’m doing more than you” behavior that turn men off!
So happy to see this conversation.😊 I also believe that energy is also misread as hostile or angry do to stereotypes and being direct when saying I don’t need you, I want you. In addition to not wanting to play games. Both parties need and want to be appreciated for “who” they are as a man/woman. Not what they bring to the table. 🤷♀️ 😊
The men and women who are successful seem to be driving this conversation period. But arrogance on anybody is unattractive. But some men have a bias opinion and are insecure. And show it through micro aggression you bougie, your independent woman. I’m doing well I’m thriving my dollars just give me options in the marketplace. I’m not trying to be better than anybody but myself.
While the distinction between independence and hyper independence is an important call-out, the loudest men have made it clear that they don't even see those achievements as valuable in a partner (there's a least one in the comments now) and that's an easily recognizable 🚩. Check your attitude ladies but also know when you're dealing with a fragile ego who needs you to play small so he feels above you.
This is a great point. I always tell my friends know your man or know who you’re dealing with. It’s the least you could do to benefit yourself. Your peace and happiness depends on being aware of what’s taking place in the moment.
The same way you would feel if we had a tennis shoe collection... or I wanted to show you all my Collective Gucci bags. It doesn't benefit you for me to be collecting clothes just like it does not benefit us for you to make money we're not sharing our clothes with you just like you're not sharing your money And you can use shaming language all you want it only points out your true insecurities and how insignificant someone has made you feel. But I guess I'm just a black kettle huh
@@YouFallenforit Not you comparing the years of discipline & personal development it takes to attain higher education and establish a career to the spoils of shopping sprees loll If you're in a partnership and assets like money & knowledge aren't being shared to serve both of you, you're being milked. Anyway, thanks for the confirmation.
It’s not the degrees it’s the attitude that gets amplified because let’s be honest black women already have an entitlement over and attitude towards black boys and men early on. The problem is don’t let your achievements overshadow your appreciation for your partner and hold onto being humble when the situation calls for it.
@@dedricklane4899 whaaaat the hell?! What entitlement OVER a young boy does a young black girl have?! Please give a real example because yall just keep pulling shit out of your ass at this point.
I don't call my man Daddy and I don't play these games. My husband is proud of my achievements as I am of his. I've never had to downplay anything about myself with him, because he is confident in himself. Why does it seem that confidence obtained through education and success only a problem with black American men?
Goodness...finally a real convo. This is rare like a unicorn. Keep speaking we don't care about your money. If he does you picked wrong or you are the problem. Men and women. Ego is real.
Sorry not accurate theres males who get jealous of woman success . Speaking from my own experience one guy treated me wrong for even having goals and wanted to do more and become successful
Yeah the guys that you have no business dating because they're going to use you for money. I don't give a fuk how successful a woman is she's not going to bring me up to her level so why the f*** would I care about her money. But that's cool she makes money I mean she doesn't have to live in my house that way hell of a lot easier that way
Men like that don't want any good coming out of anyone, because there's no good within themselves. It really has nothing to do with having success. They're just miserable people. And he wanted you to be miserable with him.
Guys don't see a benefit in Getting super successful career woman because a woman is still a woman. His money is y'all's money her money is her money. So why would he care
This is True. Still even when your humble In your achievements many males enveloped in pride & ego will still become jealous and resentful of you and whatever you may have. Guess we just have to find our Kind, one of a healthy like mind, heart and values.
A lot of this is in the mind of you women. Any normal man would be happy for their chick making moves. But many BW level of disrespect increases with her pay. I've seen this.
What you said happened to me. I am not boastful but out of the blue 1 day my ex told me that my degree meant nothing because I still married to him and he now has total control of me. I got up and got the hell outta there. History! See ya!
Any way or reason to find fault in black women is what I hear here. Many of us have our own and do not carry that tone, attitude, or verbiage in our vernacular. Some sad truth here: a lot of men in our community want you to depend on them, so they have power or perceived power only to make you feel less than just for needing them. Tale is as old as time. Many of them want to use you for what you have accomplished while telling you your accomplishments mean nothing as well. They demand traditionalism from modern world-working women and then then still want to reap the benefits of your hard work all while Not being traditional men. Call a spade a spade…most women in our community screaming “I’m independent” are literally NOT even that at all. Women speaking that way aren’t too many men’s choices for reasons other than their verbal pride on their accomplishments or independence. It’s likely just because of who they are as a person. I am more than self-sufficient and I wanted husband the same way. We work together and add to each other’s lives. So really, we are both independent, but choose to live interdependently with one another. The labels are getting out of hand. Also, calling your man daddy is weird and giving incestuous vibes. Never got that one. Just ew.
It's a man's nature to have a woman depending on him for attention, finances, romance and protection. It's all in his DNA to take care of a woman and the kids if there's any. Most of yall woman relying on being overly masculine, demanding and disrespectful because yall trying to complete with the man in the home. What he's not going to put up with is when you have all the money and the big jobs etc. Then having nasty attitude and reminding him everyday that he ain't shit
Difference between woman and a man: A man works hard to get money to find a woman to take care of along with his kids. A woman works hard to get money to be independent of men. Big difference! One works hard to create a home and one works hard to destroy the home.. yall are the biggest reason why society is collapsing because of your twisted delusional mentality
"Have our own"? 75% of bw make less than 50k per year. Many do carry that attitude and vernacular. "I'm a strong independent black woman and I don't need no man" it's literally known as a bw slogan at this point when doing bw impressions. You got it backwards. Men are no longer traditional because woman are no longer traditional
So she just told you a very real outcome of black women who have money and degrees and instead of accepting it, your first instinct is to get defensive, reject it because black women are perfect, and blame men. Smh
The real question that bm are afraid to answer is... Are they really needed?? Being perfectly fine with being absentee fathers and creating single parent homes generation after generation all while blaming women is the end result of women finding out or feeling they "don't need a man". Don't act as though the "attitude" or embrace of "independence" just appeared out of nowhere.
Bm aren't the ones creating single mother households that's bw handy work. Most divorce or seperate from the father to get child support and other support rather than co parenting like most other communities do
You can. You actually can. But accountability is lacking. Women can’t say they can be a 10 & obese then climb the mountain of balancing success and femininity. I’m sure Michael Jordan could have been a great player at 350 pounds, but it would clearly show a lack of accountability on his pet & those around him. Please don’t focus on the weight part. It’s an analogy. There is other stuff too.
Our attitudes are not shit, it’s just that we have worked so hard to obtain our achievements and refuse to receive disdain for hard work. Black women kill me by talking bad about other women for some views.
You don't receive distain for hardwork . If you receive distain it's for masculinity. Most men just don't care about your educational or financial achievements
NO.. MANY HAVE OPENLY SAID THAT THEY WANT DUMB WOMEN BC THEY CAN RUN GAME ON HER. SOME SAY THEY DON'T WANT SUCCESSFUL WOMEN BC ITS TOO EASY FOR HER TO LEAVE HIM WHEN HE'S MISTREATING HER...
Thank you...I don't know what this girl is talking about. Men are everywhere. I just have to be mindful of who I date...and the pool is dirty so why would I want to even be chosen and brought into that mess? My truth is introduced from hello. These men don't want to hear daddy and they shouldn't...we have fathers. These men will call a woman who needs them a gold digger and call a woman with resources too strong. 😭🤣 They are #Lost andconfused...as the woman they prefer but that doesn't exist.
I agree with them but it really has NOTHING to do with how we feel. If you’re telling me you DONT NEED ME…………….what am I sticking around for? You’re telling me I’m not important. Message received.
Chile some aleave for my headache from dealing with folks delusions. Cause people really keep coddling men. At this point they are never going to grow tf up.
Who wants to be with someone who tells you they don’t need you and never claims they want you? I can go over here and be with the one who says I want you.
Duh!! Men also need to check how they act when they get money. Many think they are allowed to have multiple women and disrespect their partner when their money is right.
Cuz they are. The dynamics are different. When a men makes a lot of money that makes him wanted by most woman cuz woman care about a men's finances. Men don't care about a woman finances because they've never really benefited from it. His money is y'all's money. Her money is her money. Most woman would rather share a top end men than have a average one to themselves
Why are you calling your man Daddy? I agree w both sides of this coin but the reality is as Blk men chase success or trauma ; there is a blk woman somewhere supporting him. Blk women hardly have that warmth and ideology of “she needs to be nurtured too” that we become hyper independent to some degree. But I do feel like a REAL man will see where you are and take the time to show you you can welcome this help and this support . You cannot be mad at women for protecting themselves or choosing not to over compensate to stroke the male ego. I believe in balance and in any relationship , if the man and woman are both giving the effort and are using communication, consideration and compromise - how can you lose? Men sometimes complain they haven’t received this pedestal from women , yet many are not acting like men who are really trying to support us but prospect us and there’s a difference. You’ll know when someone has the right intentions and your guard will drop naturally, we need to stop this narrative of if ur not just “yes daddy” “thank you for taking the trash out daddy” “thanks for being here daddy” it has to be more than basic things that I’m already doing myself! Be emotionally present , finances and experiences can never erase the need for that
Not to most men only to certain groups of men. Real men love a woman with accomplishments. Only men who are less than, what you to be down at their level. Date and marry different groups of men.
Guys don't see a benefit in Getting super successful career woman because a woman is still a woman. His money is y'all's money her money is her money. So why would he care
It's only for the grift. Thise are chameleons who don't actually practice or believe what they are saying. They are trying to be Kevin Samuel's but with titties
@@thecodetalker5742 This is true ... it is up to every adult to heal themselves , nobody should be a home for your hurt ,pain and trauma.... folks gotta look in the mirror and work on self ... man and woman period
Blk men date outside their race twice as much. BLM protesters are mainly blk women. Fatherless homes, Gangster rap, Drug dealing and blk on blk violence in the community fall squarely on blk men. Blk love is a joke.
I just watched one guy’s video where he teaches his daughter that having an education and a career is not important. That the success women are lonely, so focus on getting a man. So no, I don’t think the men necessarily just have a problem with the attitude. Many men are honestly intimidated by successful women, and they would go so far as to advise their daughters to be unsuccessful…
Guys don't see a benefit in Getting super successful career woman because a woman is still a woman. His money is y'all's money her money is her money. So why would he care
@@benjohnson8231 A man who marries a woman without seeing the benefit of her being well educated and employed is dull. Most households in the US run on dual incomes, so this idea that “women keep their money, while men’s money is shared” is highly exaggerated, as that’s the framework for the FAR minority. Also, alimony is awarded to wives who do not have jobs, but not those who work. Since men all over are complaining so bitterly about paying child support these days, I’d think they’d be wise enough to value a woman who would spare you the added continuous expense of alimony (which generally does not get discontinued until the ex wife gets remarried). Seeing as the majority of marriages are ending in divorce, these are things a wise man would consider… 💡
It’s a sad state of affairs, a terrible cycle. Sometimes the successful women with the crappy attitude got that crappy attitude because some guy that wasn’t worth her time made her “hyper independent.” She was proud of her success with the good energy to match, then some manchild who wasn’t secure in himself, tried to cloud her shine. No need for the nasty attitude sis, just need to have the right partner!
Im ultra proud of my achievements gained throughout years of dating men I thought to be progressive. I got to a point where I didn't share my promotions and raises. My hard earned money was going toward constantly broken appliances and motors and fake studio time. I even had one who pretended to be employed. Do these people think I should care about them focused on my attitude. No woman is walking around whining her neck saying that nonsense this woman said. We show it in our actions which is called "as a matter of fact" energy. I'm only expressing my life to be a fact and now even these YOUNG women are making their problem with men a successful woman problem with men. But then they turn around and wanna know how and why you can take care of yourself long term. People are just overly sensitive and don't want to be told mind ya own business instead of trying to hold my attitude hostage cause you feeling a way.
@@pen.and.profit No man worth his salt will allow you to talk down to him or like you’re his mother. You can be ass successful as you want, the day you start addressing me like you can whoop my ass is the day you’ll be successful and by yourself, but I heard y’all are happier that way anyways correct???
wow somebody I promise you this sound like things that I say to my girl all the time and the first thing she said you need to stay off ofTik-Tok but the thing of it is everything I find on here actually be the shit I didn't already see it but it's good to hear a woman said also
I like what kita said about the hyper independence. That’s trauma all damn day. My mother taught me about that years and years ago when I started dating girls who had their own money. She was right. All them girls I dated suffered from severe trauma and that’s part of the reason we ain’t together today. It’s crazy cause that’s something we never really hear about on these pods when speaking of independence. Same with men too. That trauma hit different when you hyper independent (that’s a bar right there let me jot that down) ‼️
@@mrcmid9132 Most men would NEVER come out and say it. I dated a man who seemed very confident when we meet. He had a good job, owned a home etc. He would speak all the time on what he had. I never spoke on what I had, barely told him what I did. I would always meet him out, he hadn't been to my house before...when he came to my home he was shocked, when he came to my office the 1st time he was shocked. We continued to date, but he always said smart shit like " You got a promotion on your little job. You doing this to you little house..etc etc. I left my job to start my own business. It was ruff at 1st. He told me I'm so glad you not at that job anymore, I felt like I couldn't do anything with you or for you while you were there. I didn't know here I fit in. I told him he still couldn't do anything with or for me..we broke up shortly after. He was a TRUE hater. He wanted me to do ok, but didn't want me to do better than him.
People are always so quick to turn on a woman who defends her worth.. The attitude comes from being forced to defend one's self.. Especially when you have to defend yourself against someone you thought already acknowledged your worth and you value their opinion.. You dont get a response from someone because they don't care. You get a response plus attitude when they care so much they are ready to defend.
@Montai Clarkson understandable. but the origins of why we use certain terminology in every day speech is important to me. Like using the term rule of thumb is literally a rule that was made that u couldn't hit your wife with a stick no bigger than your thumb. When people call thier sexual partner daddy it feels patriarchal and predatory to me. Most women aren't called mommy in that situation and if they r its normally bdsm when actual intercourse may not be enacted. I think it's more intimate to call someone by thier name as ur giving attention to the individual and not a term you prob used for other people b4. But that's just me
@@LunatheLoungeSinger completely understand your point of view and I do agree, words mean something. People will use, misuse and make up words for whatever makes them feel good. You seem to be more of a thinker and I can respect that.
I would like to say this is a good and grown ass woman all independent women need to listen and pay all attention to her her rett here confidence and understanding is 🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️
It's because we cannot be matched. I am independent, and I won't settle for a man that degrades me because I won't take BS and have standards. If you cannot match me not worth it. I'm not going to play small for anyone.
Exactly… My achievements & accomplishments are important to me & as soon as I hear a man say …He doesn’t care about the things that make me proud of myself … I’m out …
They want you to let a bum into your life, build him up, so he can become accomplished ie finiish high school, so he can then leave you for a preference who gets YOUR hard work? Who is signing up for that? Not those women on stage. Those women will choose someone who has ambition and drive who can turn whatever they have into something prosperous even if the man is less educated. If one has learned anything from the internet dont trust these women talking about level up or do this or that. Use your own head, take what those women say with a grain of salt. Take what you need from it and leave the rest.
Who said you were being degraded? I personally love when a woman has her own, but if you're truly comfortable with having your own and in your skin,why must a man keep hearing about what you have and how bad you are? Stay in your feminine energy while being submissive, fit and easy to talk to. What's understood dosen't need explaining.
Nothing in life can be independent everything is dependent on everything else. People only feel comfortable saying that because the society has made us comfortable and complacent and made it to where you cannot see the people you are dependent on but you can see the fruit of their labor. I may not be independent but I am free and very thankful for those hard-working men maintaining the infrastructure making sure I have roads to drive on food in the stores electricity for my house gas for the stove and Heat and clean running water for me and my animals Stay humble, stay thankful,
And yet these modern childish girls (NOT GROWN WOMEN) still have no idea relationships require INTERDEPENDENCE. Not independence or hyper-independence. Interdependence. Learn what that means and apply it in your relationships.
Women better get to working and get their own, because men will still try not to be there. Every woman needs to know she can survive without a man. You can be self sufficient and be nice. Sorry to say, it's getting to be a dog eat dog world, and a lot of men don't want to be a whole partner in the relationship...so you better work on your survival and don't be mad about it.
I can’t speak for all men, but I can speak for me. I am NOT intimidated by educated women. I AM disgusted by in which they operate. I.E. Aggressive, disagreeable, narcissistic, materialistic, unsupportive, demeaning, masculine, obnoxious, belligerent, selfish, haughty, boastful, etc. Qualities that are highly distasteful in a woman.
Are those disagreeable qualities perceived as worse, if shown by an educated woman? Because men seem quite willing to put up with such behaviour from uneducated and unaccomplished women. Why is that?
@@gbtheone Because those men can't get any better so they settle for trash because their self-worth is suffering nor can they be alone without feeling lonely, and it's perceived as trash whether she's uneducated or educated. I do not even socialize with such individuals, and as a professional, in corporate America, I will say such behavior is frowned upon, it's just most will not say anything. They will boost your ego just to watch you self-destruct because women with such behavior do not listen.
@@a.h.2667 It’s not, but the conversation was on successful women, and those traits are from what I see on a regular in my personal and professional life.
I can't speak for all men but your higher education is a personal win for you cause I still have to find my own success but what I do find attractive about it is that I kno your ambitious and it can be impressive to inspirational.The lady in the video is right; the problem is the negative ego that come with it(some not all women)because who wants a conceited toxic women who feels like she's better than you,can do without you and reminds you that your lucky to jus be with her.
Some men don’t like their women succeeding earning more than them, makes them look bad in front of their friends. When I graduated my ex ask me to quit a £40k paying job in oil industry to work In McDonald’s flipping burgers just so I couldn’t meet anyone better than him. Needless to say said boy bye 👋
He Evan tried to manipulate me by telling me I’m a bit#h and think I’m better than everyone else who works in McDonalds. That thought never ever even crossed my mind, I didn’t go to Uni to work in McDonalds for the rest of my life. So glad I eventually had the courage to leave even though he threatened to petrol bomb my parents house.
@@chinhgrant5759he's a good man. You're a bad woman for being too masculine. What is a woman doing working in the oil industry? You should be working a modest job
This is the 1st time I've seen these women holding other women accountable...... good to know they're capable of taking points other than "it's because of the men". #Kudos
That's very true! Why in the hell would I want my woman calling me "daddy." Call me by my name or short name. I have a question. Why do women like/want/or get mad when you don't say, baby girl, baby, momma, etc...? You're my woman, and your parents gave you a name. Right?
Tell me it went in one ear and out the other. If you don’t understand how to be a partner then stay single for the rest of your life and go chase a bag. Don’t mess up another man’s/womans life just cause you don’t know how to be an adult and communicate.
I'm so, so glad they actually address this topic without negative generalizations. We don't be insecure, we don't be intimidated. We just are not interested in dealing with that attitude and that mouth. You know how to talk to your boss.... you actually learned that in college on your second degree. But, you didn't learn how to talk to men that you want to date. Them claps was real quiet, tho!
I have rarely, if ever, heard a Black woman with that, “I don’t need a man,” attitude. It’s like a humongous urban myth that’s convenient to paste across the foreheads of successful BW, to shut them up and push them back on their heels when they’re looking for real answers to being partnered with men being too up in their feelings about a woman being very much more successful so she’s left alone. I think it’s also used as a convenient assertion as soon as he learns she is successful. She’s then unceremoniously dropped and avoided. Get real. Tell the truth. Be honest and be kind. Is it really too much to ask? Sisters are seriously about to be gone from you for good.
*YOU ARE 100% RIGHT, I'VE NEVER HEARD THAT IN THIS CONTEXT EITHER!!!* 💯💯 *FIRST THEY SAY WHERE GOLD DIGGERS. THEN THEY SAY WE DONT WANT TO LET THEM DO ANYTHING FOR US! 🤦🏽♀️ COLLECTIVELY IT CAN'T BE BOTH!*
Are you kidding? Women say this all the time and it isn’t just black women. Why would you ever hear this anyway? Are you dating women? Of course you don’t hear the stuff women say to men. You’re not a man!
Thank You. We LOVE independent women. We LOVE educated women. We're looking for someone to help elevate us .. A woman who can match our goals. We don't WANT to have to fight the ONE person we need... The one to help remind US how great we are and how much we are needed. Women need Love... Men need Purpose. Just Saying
100% it’s not that men don’t want you to have money it’s that most modern women act nasty as hell when they have money like they do not need their man.
This is a complete lie because men get mad when you ask them for things and This includes men with money. I don't think y'all have paid attention to yourself. Both of you saying this snd most women who say this have something in common. Quit blaming women and look at the actual problem here.
I've literally haven't been hurt & if your point is "Not all men" how about checking in with other men instead of women. Especially since there is literally no way to know this prior to getting to know someone. But since we all know men are scared of each but love chastising women, im not even going to bother responding to you again. Because YOU DONT DATE MEN, SO HOW TF ARE YOU GONNA TELL WOMEN THEIR EXPERIENCES WITH THEM? BFR!
@Self Realization also your latest comment was telling someone they shouldn't be proud of being a single mother....YOU'RE LITERALLY THE PROBLEM AMONGST MEN!
The real problem is a woman's ego no man is intimidated by you If you think he's intimidated he's disgusted and repulsed possibly trying Escape your presence because he can feel your Dark Soul
Calling my mate "daddy" is hella weird. I have 1 father... No offense to those who don't. Furthermore, my father was the one encouraging me not to depend on a man for anything and I know many black girls who's father taught them the same. Encouraging hypergamy with our black girls is unfortunately not feasible, because a large number of the men are not in a position to be providers for a mate and children...and a large number of them in a hood near you, are not being raised/ encouraged to value education, family values, and a fruitful marriage.
Yes , I had learn that. Men don’t care about our success , they care about how we treat them while being successful
Men will date the McDonald's worker because she's nice instead of the nurse because she wants to emasculate us
Bs.
@@vikingrolloishot1789 Why you that ? What’s your POV ?
@@EmpressC96 I've known successful women who have treated their low earning men like kings and those men still cheated and treated them badly. Out of plain jealousy that the woman is earning more than them. Men are extremely envious of a higher earning woman regardless of how she treats him. So nothing she does will be good enough for him as long as shes making more money...
@@vikingrolloishot1789 Mmmm, maybe every man is different. Gotta find out they’re real intentions before anything . See what they actions show instead of saying it
real Black woman with accountability ..
We're out here. Where are all the accountable men tho?
@@greenqueen2673 nonexistent.
@@c.wsnow_ you friend zoned him 💯
@@timf2833 who are these imaginary people you all conjure up?😂
@Green Queen we out here also. What you need.
I'm not big on calling a man "daddy". That is what I call the man that helped bring me into the world.
Keep telling people. That's for people who have no relationship with their dad in real life. It's gross
That part, she lost me....
I can appreciate a man without that
@@shaky5956 I will bet my kidney, you ladies in this thread are single.
@@Nyabennah BIG SINGLE!!!
Missing the point. Call him what you want to call him. But understand he is the man and like you submit to your white boss, submit to him when you get home. Be feminine, let go of control.
💯💯💯💯💯👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 it’s the attitude. So glad a woman spoke the truth from EXPERIENCE
Looks like all you wanted was the validation of your experience...now that you think you got it, What's next? More complaining? With all the options a man has for a partner, complaining about one particular race of a woman is a mute effort. It screams, "I am not successful at getting and keeping a partner." It should not be an issue in a world where you can date any race. If a man has an issue partering, then he is the problem. It's sad and funny at the same time because I've seen more drugheads with a partner than today's men.
Do y’all have data to back that it’s the attitude tho? If so, can you share it.
@@laurencameron3150 Now what we not about to do is sit up here and play stupid/dumb. Not only in America but overseas the black woman is known to be hard to deal with. Even after countless videos of WOMEN admitting to y’all bullshit and you wanna sit up here and talk about some damn data/stats etc. Girl bye cuz you too damn grown and should know better. So I guess everyone lying. You can see a crime on video and know they guilty rightttttt but we still gotta have a trial to prove what that they’re guilty. Do we have data. Yes it’s countless videos and if you don’t know by now then you just don’t wanna know. It takes a real woman to admit the bullshit y’all do. I love my sisters but y’all make it harder to love y’all because of y’all shenanigans
@@soppres7406 I just had to chuckle at not successful at getting and keeping a partner. I have 3 girls 1 baby momma AKA wife of 14 years. That sounds successful to me as a black man What’s your status???
@@shaicarter1 Ok using your own logic then the same applies to black men world wide. I mean it’s said that y’all are broke, aggressive, abusive, and abandon your children. If all it takes is someone saying it’s true then it has to be applied to the entire community and there’s no need for actual facts of the statement, right? I mean by your logic, what’s the point of protesting when black men are shot when the cops are actually doing us a favor by getting criminal black men off the street, right?
Attitude, accountability and femininity, all mean a lot to men.
BM possess two out of three of the abovementioned attributes.
Damn only been waiting forever for some women to take accountability. She was on point
I’ve seen women do it a lot. Sometimes I feel like I’m not on the same internet as everyone else lol.
But I have to be grateful when someone who thinks we don’t finally sees it.
I'm patiently waiting for BM to take accountability regarding ANYTHING!
@@LUX_8 I've been seeing you pop up in the comment section and you sound very pained and disgruntled... As much as you have very irresponsible men in your country, Black American women remain the most disrespectful women in the world, and no responsible man is willing to put up with that... So take it easy, and realize that both parties need a lot of work "together"
Ole girl told the whole truth. Chick at the end, that's the first time I seen her and she wasn't screaming and hollering.
Fr Fr Kita be ANNOYING ASF🤣🤣🤣 LIKE A GOT DAMN CHIHUAHUA🤣🤣🤣
So true..
Yeah , you are right. Wow! What happened to her? Is that a change of mind or something ? Interesting 🤔.
IKR!!!
Lmao facts
Yes, yes and yes, …. Speak the truth SISTERS.
Yesssssssss THANK YOU LORD
Money is money why would I care if my woman is making it? Good for her
Men that like to control them are the ones with the problem. The other men are just following the parade, then complaining about going half on a date
Thank God she can hold the family down if you get hurt. That's great
@@deebrown7160if he get hurt. So thw rest of the time her money is useless 😂🤣
Because it adds to where you’re going throughout life, it makes it easier for you guys to get there. It makes it easier for you guys to give your kids a better more stable life that’s why.
@@MrTsukudu only useless if you and her do not decide to sit down and allocate where her money is going. It’s only useless if you don’t sit down and have an agreement with her about her money, a percentage of it could go towards saving for your kids future college. It could go towards house, goods, food, things of that nature, but you guys refuse to use your brains.
In all fairness though, some of them are mad at the energy they ASSUME comes with that.
I've literally met guys that were talking to me quite fine, showing interest, then found out my career and lost interest.
I was the same person you were talking to 5 min ago🤷🏾♀️.
Yep! Insecurity. That’s all it is.
@@KEOSHAANEILIA Stop with the insecurity talk. I understand men that want no part of that. I've been in boardrooms with these type of women, and that male energy does bot turn off.
Only lesser men can live with that.
Lol they assuming based on the many experiences that they and all they friends have been through.
Guys don't see a benefit in Getting super successful career woman because a woman is still a woman. Your money is y'all's money her money is her money. So why would he care
Women are absolutely terrible at three things: (1) Choosing the right guy to give their chastity to, (2) deciding who to have children with, (3) vetting a man before marriage. You know I’m not lying. When was the last time two women talked about not only doing this effectively but excelling in this area?
It’s easier to say “I feel,” it’s easier to go trial and easier, and lack accountability.
It makes sense that women are terrible at this. You don’t even know if you want to be masculine or feminine, all of you are 10’s, even if you weigh as much as a football player. Lol.
Nah, we just don't wanna deal with it. You was cute tho.
It’s a defence mechanism like saying every friend you had a falling out with is because all 20 of them were just jealous.
we need to check our attitude as well and what is wrong with us.
As a child from a single mother home I used to fall for this BS all the time and just believe them and take them at their word.
Only when I stepped back and looked at their behavior from a third-party perspective that I realized they were lying to themselves out loud to me.
That's usually what I hear with statements like this she doesn't expect me to believe that she is saying it so she believes that even more
@@ange6alexandra527 I would say 90% of all people need a attitude check.
Sometimes it takes someone knocking some sense into you for you to realize
@@YouFallenforit with 99% of women honestly they know the truth their just aware that most of us men become aware of the real world years after them and they just want to see if you know enough to see through them. They might play mad when you call them out but deep down they only respect men that check them on their delusions.
😂😂😂😂
👏👏👏 This lady I knew kept saying her husband was jealous of her doctoral degree when in reality she kept bragging about it. Nobody cared but her and she thought she was better
There seem to be a lot of communication issues between men and women about trust that the other will not take advantage of them. Men want to be needed and appreciated but can be scared to give. Women want to be loved and cared for but can be afraid of being vulnerable.
Scared to give? Mofo we pay for everything from day 1. What the f are you on about 😂🤣😂
@@MrTsukudu I’m glad you feel comfortable with paying for somethings. However, giving isn’t just about money. It’s about time, actions, and listening as well. It’s scary to give when you feel it may not be accepted, appreciated or understood.
@@AlisonCrockett 😂🤣😂now you sound like a regular guy tired of being used for free meals on dates by women
@@AlisonCrockett you sound like a man 🤣😂
This beautiful woman is speaking nothing but facts!🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Preach that sis 💯
Two heads have always been better than one! However, like bruh said ‘ a relationship is only hard when one person is working on it’! Everyone needs a partner, friend, an advocate! And, so what, if it turns into a romantic thing! More power to the ones that know this and have strived!
As a woman who had a father in her life, calling your husband “daddy” is super cringe. Some men want a partner, some want a subordinate (helpmate). Ladies get your success, but if you want a husband, you have to recognize where you need him, just like he has to know where he needs you. Also, if he says he doesn’t care about your success or degrees, stay away, that’s not a match for you. There are men who will celebrate your success with you while still holding their position as men.
THANK YOU! Nobody is hating on you or mad you make money and have so many accolades attached to your name, WE REAL MEN LOVE THAT… it’s the moment you start with that “I don’t need you” or that “I’m doing more than you” behavior that turn men off!
SO WHAT IS THE ENERGY BM GIVE BW WHEN THEY GET MONEY
So happy to see this conversation.😊 I also believe that energy is also misread as hostile or angry do to stereotypes and being direct when saying I don’t need you, I want you. In addition to not wanting to play games. Both parties need and want to be appreciated for “who” they are as a man/woman. Not what they bring to the table. 🤷♀️ 😊
Do you advocate for splitting the bill or are you just gaslighting online
The men and women who are successful seem to be driving this conversation period. But arrogance on anybody is unattractive. But some men have a bias opinion and are insecure. And show it through micro aggression you bougie, your independent woman. I’m doing well I’m thriving my dollars just give me options in the marketplace. I’m not trying to be better than anybody but myself.
While the distinction between independence and hyper independence is an important call-out, the loudest men have made it clear that they don't even see those achievements as valuable in a partner (there's a least one in the comments now) and that's an easily recognizable 🚩. Check your attitude ladies but also know when you're dealing with a fragile ego who needs you to play small so he feels above you.
This is a great point. I always tell my friends know your man or know who you’re dealing with. It’s the least you could do to benefit yourself. Your peace and happiness depends on being aware of what’s taking place in the moment.
The same way you would feel if we had a tennis shoe collection... or I wanted to show you all my Collective Gucci bags.
It doesn't benefit you for me to be collecting clothes just like it does not benefit us for you to make money we're not sharing our clothes with you just like you're not sharing your money
And you can use shaming language all you want it only points out your true insecurities and how insignificant someone has made you feel.
But I guess I'm just a black kettle huh
@@YouFallenforit Not you comparing the years of discipline & personal development it takes to attain higher education and establish a career to the spoils of shopping sprees loll If you're in a partnership and assets like money & knowledge aren't being shared to serve both of you, you're being milked. Anyway, thanks for the confirmation.
It’s not the degrees it’s the attitude that gets amplified because let’s be honest black women already have an entitlement over and attitude towards black boys and men early on. The problem is don’t let your achievements overshadow your appreciation for your partner and hold onto being humble when the situation calls for it.
@@dedricklane4899 whaaaat the hell?! What entitlement OVER a young boy does a young black girl have?! Please give a real example because yall just keep pulling shit out of your ass at this point.
I don't call my man Daddy and I don't play these games. My husband is proud of my achievements as I am of his. I've never had to downplay anything about myself with him, because he is confident in himself. Why does it seem that confidence obtained through education and success only a problem with black American men?
Now you hit the nail on the head with this one
This!!! Btw, the good news is I’m seeing more Black men being confident in who they are and loving Black women who are high achievers
Goodness...finally a real convo. This is rare like a unicorn. Keep speaking we don't care about your money. If he does you picked wrong or you are the problem. Men and women. Ego is real.
Sorry not accurate theres males who get jealous of woman success . Speaking from my own experience one guy treated me wrong for even having goals and wanted to do more and become successful
Yeah the guys that you have no business dating because they're going to use you for money.
I don't give a fuk how successful a woman is she's not going to bring me up to her level so why the f*** would I care about her money.
But that's cool she makes money I mean she doesn't have to live in my house that way hell of a lot easier that way
Most times I agree w these young ladies, but this is is off.
Men like that don't want any good coming out of anyone, because there's no good within themselves. It really has nothing to do with having success. They're just miserable people. And he wanted you to be miserable with him.
Guys don't see a benefit in Getting super successful career woman because a woman is still a woman. His money is y'all's money her money is her money. So why would he care
No man is jealous of a women success.
Great point! Just be nice, & pleasant to be around. you will stand out compared to what is out here
This is True. Still even when your humble In your achievements many males enveloped in pride & ego will still become jealous and resentful of you and whatever you may have. Guess we just have to find our Kind, one of a healthy like mind, heart and values.
dem ain't the Men 4u then 🤷🏿♂️ Those Jealous FellAZ are jealous of men too....QUIT FOCUSING ON DEM and find your CHEERLEADERS
A lot of this is in the mind of you women.
Any normal man would be happy for their chick making moves.
But many BW level of disrespect increases with her pay. I've seen this.
What you said happened to me. I am not boastful but out of the blue 1 day my ex told me that my degree meant nothing because I still married to him and he now has total control of me. I got up and got the hell outta there. History! See ya!
It doesn't matter in the end since they're always moving the goal post.
@@LUX_8who? What?
Africa is Proud With You Landies Like this...💯
Fruits of the Spirit...humility.
DAMMEE THAT WAS AMAZING TO HEAR 🎶💪🏾 BECAUSE ITS THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH ✔️
Any way or reason to find fault in black women is what I hear here. Many of us have our own and do not carry that tone, attitude, or verbiage in our vernacular. Some sad truth here: a lot of men in our community want you to depend on them, so they have power or perceived power only to make you feel less than just for needing them. Tale is as old as time. Many of them want to use you for what you have accomplished while telling you your accomplishments mean nothing as well. They demand traditionalism from modern world-working women and then then still want to reap the benefits of your hard work all while Not being traditional men. Call a spade a spade…most women in our community screaming “I’m independent” are literally NOT even that at all. Women speaking that way aren’t too many men’s choices for reasons other than their verbal pride on their accomplishments or independence. It’s likely just because of who they are as a person. I am more than self-sufficient and I wanted husband the same way. We work together and add to each other’s lives. So really, we are both independent, but choose to live interdependently with one another. The labels are getting out of hand. Also, calling your man daddy is weird and giving incestuous vibes. Never got that one. Just ew.
This comment ahoy have 1k likes.
It's a man's nature to have a woman depending on him for attention, finances, romance and protection. It's all in his DNA to take care of a woman and the kids if there's any. Most of yall woman relying on being overly masculine, demanding and disrespectful because yall trying to complete with the man in the home. What he's not going to put up with is when you have all the money and the big jobs etc. Then having nasty attitude and reminding him everyday that he ain't shit
Difference between woman and a man:
A man works hard to get money to find a woman to take care of along with his kids.
A woman works hard to get money to be independent of men.
Big difference! One works hard to create a home and one works hard to destroy the home.. yall are the biggest reason why society is collapsing because of your twisted delusional mentality
"Have our own"?
75% of bw make less than 50k per year.
Many do carry that attitude and vernacular. "I'm a strong independent black woman and I don't need no man" it's literally known as a bw slogan at this point when doing bw impressions.
You got it backwards. Men are no longer traditional because woman are no longer traditional
So she just told you a very real outcome of black women who have money and degrees and instead of accepting it, your first instinct is to get defensive, reject it because black women are perfect, and blame men. Smh
The real question that bm are afraid to answer is... Are they really needed?? Being perfectly fine with being absentee fathers and creating single parent homes generation after generation all while blaming women is the end result of women finding out or feeling they "don't need a man". Don't act as though the "attitude" or embrace of "independence" just appeared out of nowhere.
Most underrated comment💯
& I hate that BLK women regurgitate blk men narrative about independent blk women where’s there is zero accountability
Bm aren't the ones creating single mother households that's bw handy work. Most divorce or seperate from the father to get child support and other support rather than co parenting like most other communities do
THIS 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Whoomp dere it is!
You are the one's opening up your legs because men do not control access to sex.
There lies the problem, you can achieve all those things in your feminine, sexy energy.
You can. You actually can. But accountability is lacking. Women can’t say they can be a 10 & obese then climb the mountain of balancing success and femininity.
I’m sure Michael Jordan could have been a great player at 350 pounds, but it would clearly show a lack of accountability on his pet & those around him.
Please don’t focus on the weight part. It’s an analogy. There is other stuff too.
👏 💯 This is the example! Well said!!
Women achievement is a bonus to a man who already has his life together.
Our attitudes are not shit, it’s just that we have worked so hard to obtain our achievements and refuse to receive disdain for hard work. Black women kill me by talking bad about other women for some views.
Right. Super gross.
You don't receive distain for hardwork . If you receive distain it's for masculinity. Most men just don't care about your educational or financial achievements
Yes, the negative energy is draining
NO..
MANY HAVE OPENLY SAID THAT THEY WANT DUMB WOMEN BC THEY CAN RUN GAME ON HER.
SOME SAY THEY DON'T WANT SUCCESSFUL WOMEN BC ITS TOO EASY FOR HER TO LEAVE HIM WHEN HE'S MISTREATING HER...
Thank you...I don't know what this girl is talking about. Men are everywhere. I just have to be mindful of who I date...and the pool is dirty so why would I want to even be chosen and brought into that mess? My truth is introduced from hello. These men don't want to hear daddy and they shouldn't...we have fathers. These men will call a woman who needs them a gold digger and call a woman with resources too strong. 😭🤣 They are #Lost andconfused...as the woman they prefer but that doesn't exist.
I only date smart educated women with 🤑 money . Can't do a dumb chick
Both of y’all will be single forever
Is that the guys you pay attention to? 🤔 😆 🤣
I can feel the bitterness from you cat ladies all the way here in Africa 😂🤣
Nicely put about the attitude factor…
I agree with them but it really has NOTHING to do with how we feel. If you’re telling me you DONT NEED ME…………….what am I sticking around for?
You’re telling me I’m not important. Message received.
They just said that.
Facts he showed me and I’m gone
Great and accurate response 🙌🏾
I'm still weirded out by women calling their romantic partners "daddy"....it's giving incestual vibes, I can't
and calling a woman "baby" sounds pedo to me.
I appreciate these ladies and this forum
Im hungry... yall want something from the store?
No accountability having ass heathen!
@@thyshallrunitup5297 Who are you talking too?
Chile some aleave for my headache from dealing with folks delusions. Cause people really keep coddling men. At this point they are never going to grow tf up.
@@eyetheeivorythrone 😂😂😂😂
😂 for real.. I’ll take a coke thnx. Daddy who? Mine passed.. Mature men don’t need to be made to feel anything to BE something. Yikes 😬
Who wants to be with someone who tells you they don’t need you and never claims they want you? I can go over here and be with the one who says I want you.
Duh!! Men also need to check how they act when they get money. Many think they are allowed to have multiple women and disrespect their partner when their money is right.
Cuz they are. The dynamics are different.
When a men makes a lot of money that makes him wanted by most woman cuz woman care about a men's finances.
Men don't care about a woman finances because they've never really benefited from it. His money is y'all's money. Her money is her money.
Most woman would rather share a top end men than have a average one to themselves
Damn!! I thought it was just me realizing this point.. Now some situation changes your decision.. Must keep this in mind.. frfr
Why are you calling your man Daddy? I agree w both sides of this coin but the reality is as Blk men chase success or trauma ; there is a blk woman somewhere supporting him. Blk women hardly have that warmth and ideology of “she needs to be nurtured too” that we become hyper independent to some degree. But I do feel like a REAL man will see where you are and take the time to show you you can welcome this help and this support . You cannot be mad at women for protecting themselves or choosing not to over compensate to stroke the male ego. I believe in balance and in any relationship , if the man and woman are both giving the effort and are using communication, consideration and compromise - how can you lose? Men sometimes complain they haven’t received this pedestal from women , yet many are not acting like men who are really trying to support us but prospect us and there’s a difference. You’ll know when someone has the right intentions and your guard will drop naturally, we need to stop this narrative of if ur not just “yes daddy” “thank you for taking the trash out daddy” “thanks for being here daddy” it has to be more than basic things that I’m already doing myself! Be emotionally present , finances and experiences can never erase the need for that
You replied exactly what I was thinking! Well put!
Speak Sis!
Not to most men only to certain groups of men. Real men love a woman with accomplishments. Only men who are less than, what you to be down at their level. Date and marry different groups of men.
Guys don't see a benefit in Getting super successful career woman because a woman is still a woman. His money is y'all's money her money is her money. So why would he care
Wow, you ladies are GROWING 😌
Finally black women making MF sense …. After awhile I truly believe they purposely acting stupid and trying to get rid of the black love
It's only for the grift. Thise are chameleons who don't actually practice or believe what they are saying. They are trying to be Kevin Samuel's but with titties
They can't give what they haven't been given And it's not your responsibility to heal them or tolerate their disrespect.
@@thecodetalker5742 This is true ... it is up to every adult to heal themselves , nobody should be a home for your hurt ,pain and trauma.... folks gotta look in the mirror and work on self ... man and woman period
Blk men date outside their race twice as much. BLM protesters are mainly blk women. Fatherless homes, Gangster rap, Drug dealing and blk on blk violence in the community fall squarely on blk men. Blk love is a joke.
Truth! Speak Love
I just watched one guy’s video where he teaches his daughter that having an education and a career is not important. That the success women are lonely, so focus on getting a man.
So no, I don’t think the men necessarily just have a problem with the attitude. Many men are honestly intimidated by successful women, and they would go so far as to advise their daughters to be unsuccessful…
Guys don't see a benefit in Getting super successful career woman because a woman is still a woman. His money is y'all's money her money is her money. So why would he care
@@benjohnson8231 A man who marries a woman without seeing the benefit of her being well educated and employed is dull. Most households in the US run on dual incomes, so this idea that “women keep their money, while men’s money is shared” is highly exaggerated, as that’s the framework for the FAR minority.
Also, alimony is awarded to wives who do not have jobs, but not those who work. Since men all over are complaining so bitterly about paying child support these days, I’d think they’d be wise enough to value a woman who would spare you the added continuous expense of alimony (which generally does not get discontinued until the ex wife gets remarried).
Seeing as the majority of marriages are ending in divorce, these are things a wise man would consider… 💡
@@103Kimberly Also, less than 10% of divorcees recieve alimony and 3% are men.
@@103Kimberlydivorce increases with career woman. Get yourself a nice feminine mother. Not a career spinster.
never thought i would see women having this conversation
It’s a sad state of affairs, a terrible cycle. Sometimes the successful women with the crappy attitude got that crappy attitude because some guy that wasn’t worth her time made her “hyper independent.” She was proud of her success with the good energy to match, then some manchild who wasn’t secure in himself, tried to cloud her shine. No need for the nasty attitude sis, just need to have the right partner!
Im ultra proud of my achievements gained throughout years of dating men I thought to be progressive. I got to a point where I didn't share my promotions and raises. My hard earned money was going toward constantly broken appliances and motors and fake studio time. I even had one who pretended to be employed. Do these people think I should care about them focused on my attitude. No woman is walking around whining her neck saying that nonsense this woman said. We show it in our actions which is called "as a matter of fact" energy. I'm only expressing my life to be a fact and now even these YOUNG women are making their problem with men a successful woman problem with men. But then they turn around and wanna know how and why you can take care of yourself long term. People are just overly sensitive and don't want to be told mind ya own business instead of trying to hold my attitude hostage cause you feeling a way.
@@pen.and.profit No man worth his salt will allow you to talk down to him or like you’re his mother. You can be ass successful as you want, the day you start addressing me like you can whoop my ass is the day you’ll be successful and by yourself, but I heard y’all are happier that way anyways correct???
@@pen.and.profit That part!
@@pen.and.profit I mean taking care of yourself long term is typically what normal functioning adults do.
If you have a “crappy attitude “ because of past unresolved issues seek therapy.
Wow, it's working. You ladies finally get it.
True story
wow somebody I promise you this sound like things that I say to my girl all the time and the first thing she said you need to stay off ofTik-Tok but the thing of it is everything I find on here actually be the shit I didn't already see it but it's good to hear a woman said also
Yes very true, horrible attitudes. As if you only got a degree to yell in people’s faces about not needing a man, while being obsessed with men.
I like what kita said about the hyper independence. That’s trauma all damn day. My mother taught me about that years and years ago when I started dating girls who had their own money. She was right. All them girls I dated suffered from severe trauma and that’s part of the reason we ain’t together today. It’s crazy cause that’s something we never really hear about on these pods when speaking of independence. Same with men too. That trauma hit different when you hyper independent (that’s a bar right there let me jot that down) ‼️
The guys it intimidates are the ones you stay away from
I'm just curious. Why would men be intimidated by women?
Can you give me some examples of men being intimidated by women. I'm honestly trying to learn something? 🤔
@@mrcmid9132
Low self esteem is the reason why someone gets intimidated. Be confident in yourself and you fear no one
@Mrscheesecake1 💡 maybe your self 🙃 esteem is too high!!! 😆 🤣
@@mrcmid9132 Most men would NEVER come out and say it. I dated a man who seemed very confident when we meet. He had a good job, owned a home etc. He would speak all the time on what he had. I never spoke on what I had, barely told him what I did. I would always meet him out, he hadn't been to my house before...when he came to my home he was shocked, when he came to my office the 1st time he was shocked. We continued to date, but he always said smart shit like " You got a promotion on your little job. You doing this to you little house..etc etc. I left my job to start my own business. It was ruff at 1st. He told me I'm so glad you not at that job anymore, I felt like I couldn't do anything with you or for you while you were there. I didn't know here I fit in. I told him he still couldn't do anything with or for me..we broke up shortly after. He was a TRUE hater.
He wanted me to do ok, but didn't want me to do better than him.
People are always so quick to turn on a woman who defends her worth.. The attitude comes from being forced to defend one's self.. Especially when you have to defend yourself against someone you thought already acknowledged your worth and you value their opinion..
You dont get a response from someone because they don't care. You get a response plus attitude when they care so much they are ready to defend.
So weird to call my dude daddy. Sorry that's just me
Right!!
Fill in the blank with whatever makes you feel ok mam, don’t get caught up with the semantics missing the overall point.
@Montai Clarkson understandable. but the origins of why we use certain terminology in every day speech is important to me. Like using the term rule of thumb is literally a rule that was made that u couldn't hit your wife with a stick no bigger than your thumb. When people call thier sexual partner daddy it feels patriarchal and predatory to me. Most women aren't called mommy in that situation and if they r its normally bdsm when actual intercourse may not be enacted. I think it's more intimate to call someone by thier name as ur giving attention to the individual and not a term you prob used for other people b4. But that's just me
@@LunatheLoungeSinger completely understand your point of view and I do agree, words mean something. People will use, misuse and make up words for whatever makes them feel good. You seem to be more of a thinker and I can respect that.
But, it's not weird to call a woman "baby?"
I would like to say this is a good and grown ass woman all independent women need to listen and pay all attention to her her rett here confidence and understanding is 🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️
It's because we cannot be matched. I am independent, and I won't settle for a man that degrades me because I won't take BS and have standards. If you cannot match me not worth it. I'm not going to play small for anyone.
Exactly… My achievements & accomplishments are important to me & as soon as I hear a man say …He doesn’t care about the things that make me proud of myself … I’m out …
They want you to let a bum into your life, build him up, so he can become accomplished ie finiish high school, so he can then leave you for a preference who gets YOUR hard work? Who is signing up for that? Not those women on stage. Those women will choose someone who has ambition and drive who can turn whatever they have into something prosperous even if the man is less educated. If one has learned anything from the internet dont trust these women talking about level up or do this or that. Use your own head, take what those women say with a grain of salt. Take what you need from it and leave the rest.
Who said you were being degraded? I personally love when a woman has her own, but if you're truly comfortable with having your own and in your skin,why must a man keep hearing about what you have and how bad you are? Stay in your feminine energy while being submissive, fit and easy to talk to. What's understood dosen't need explaining.
Nothing in life can be independent everything is dependent on everything else.
People only feel comfortable saying that because the society has made us comfortable and complacent and made it to where you cannot see the people you are dependent on but you can see the fruit of their labor.
I may not be independent but I am free and very thankful for those hard-working men maintaining the infrastructure making sure I have roads to drive on food in the stores electricity for my house gas for the stove and Heat and clean running water for me and my animals
Stay humble, stay thankful,
Get your cats
And yet these modern childish girls (NOT GROWN WOMEN) still have no idea relationships require INTERDEPENDENCE.
Not independence or hyper-independence.
Interdependence.
Learn what that means and apply it in your relationships.
Women better get to working and get their own, because men will still try not to be there. Every woman needs to know she can survive without a man. You can be self sufficient and be nice. Sorry to say, it's getting to be a dog eat dog world, and a lot of men don't want to be a whole partner in the relationship...so you better work on your survival and don't be mad about it.
Amen sis tell these ladies
I can’t speak for all men, but I can speak for me. I am NOT intimidated by educated women. I AM disgusted by in which they operate. I.E. Aggressive, disagreeable, narcissistic, materialistic, unsupportive, demeaning, masculine, obnoxious, belligerent, selfish, haughty, boastful, etc. Qualities that are highly distasteful in a woman.
Are those disagreeable qualities perceived as worse, if shown by an educated woman? Because men seem quite willing to put up with such behaviour from uneducated and unaccomplished women. Why is that?
@@gbtheone Because those men can't get any better so they settle for trash because their self-worth is suffering nor can they be alone without feeling lonely, and it's perceived as trash whether she's uneducated or educated. I do not even socialize with such individuals, and as a professional, in corporate America, I will say such behavior is frowned upon, it's just most will not say anything. They will boost your ego just to watch you self-destruct because women with such behavior do not listen.
Those traits definitely are NOT just synonymous with educated women. There's people of all backgrounds who behave that way.
@@a.h.2667 It’s not, but the conversation was on successful women, and those traits are from what I see on a regular in my personal and professional life.
@@gbtheone they have limited options
I can't speak for all men but your higher education is a personal win for you cause I still have to find my own success but what I do find attractive about it is that I kno your ambitious and it can be impressive to inspirational.The lady in the video is right; the problem is the negative ego that come with it(some not all women)because who wants a conceited toxic women who feels like she's better than you,can do without you and reminds you that your lucky to jus be with her.
Black women need to learn the difference between independent and interdependent.
Thank you for this sis 💯💯💯💯
Some men don’t like their women succeeding earning more than them, makes them look bad in front of their friends. When I graduated my ex ask me to quit a £40k paying job in oil industry to work In McDonald’s flipping burgers just so I couldn’t meet anyone better than him. Needless to say said boy bye 👋
👏👏👏👏👏 good for you...leave the dead for the dead.
That is a scary scary man
He Evan tried to manipulate me by telling me I’m a bit#h and think I’m better than everyone else who works in McDonalds. That thought never ever even crossed my mind, I didn’t go to Uni to work in McDonalds for the rest of my life. So glad I eventually had the courage to leave even though he threatened to petrol bomb my parents house.
@@chinhgrant5759 sis that is extreme envy Thank God you got away! Gaslighting someone into mcdonalds is not normal😐
@@chinhgrant5759he's a good man. You're a bad woman for being too masculine. What is a woman doing working in the oil industry? You should be working a modest job
This is the 1st time I've seen these women holding other women accountable...... good to know they're capable of taking points other than "it's because of the men".
#Kudos
Who Daddy? Y’all crazy calling these man daddy 😂😅
Omgoodness, I thought I was the only one who felt this way.
That's very true! Why in the hell would I want my woman calling me "daddy." Call me by my name or short name.
I have a question. Why do women like/want/or get mad when you don't say, baby girl, baby, momma, etc...?
You're my woman, and your parents gave you a name. Right?
Her point went wayyy over yall heads!
@@aceagain7483 All the great points she made, but "daddy" is all they heard??? Smdh 🤦🏾♂️
@@rong8889 most people only have the ability to see/hear wat they don’t like.
That I can agree with finally some women with a brain are slowly coming back in style respect
Booooooo! I don't pacify grown men. He needs to be secure within himself.
Yeah a chick like you I'm just gonna smash and let you go be "independent".
And that’s why your bitching on the internet cause you single asf😭😭
Tell me it went in one ear and out the other. If you don’t understand how to be a partner then stay single for the rest of your life and go chase a bag. Don’t mess up another man’s/womans life just cause you don’t know how to be an adult and communicate.
Exactly. He needs to go over there and grow up.
@Meraki X Gokotta LIVE 🤣 you replying to me....I'm replying to the video...sit down and stop "bitchin" on the internet lol
A lot of man assume that usually comes with it before they even give anyone a chance to show them it doesn’t
If a man said the same EXACT words. They would never listen!! THANK YOU, SISTA...👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I'm so, so glad they actually address this topic without negative generalizations. We don't be insecure, we don't be intimidated. We just are not interested in dealing with that attitude and that mouth. You know how to talk to your boss.... you actually learned that in college on your second degree. But, you didn't learn how to talk to men that you want to date.
Them claps was real quiet, tho!
I have rarely, if ever, heard a Black woman with that, “I don’t need a man,” attitude. It’s like a humongous urban myth that’s convenient to paste across the foreheads of successful BW, to shut them up and push them back on their heels when they’re looking for real answers to being partnered with men being too up in their feelings about a woman being very much more successful so she’s left alone.
I think it’s also used as a convenient assertion as soon as he learns she is successful. She’s then unceremoniously dropped and avoided.
Get real. Tell the truth. Be honest and be kind. Is it really too much to ask? Sisters are seriously about to be gone from you for good.
*YOU ARE 100% RIGHT, I'VE NEVER HEARD THAT IN THIS CONTEXT EITHER!!!* 💯💯
*FIRST THEY SAY WHERE GOLD DIGGERS. THEN THEY SAY WE DONT WANT TO LET THEM DO ANYTHING FOR US! 🤦🏽♀️ COLLECTIVELY IT CAN'T BE BOTH!*
@@blaquehippie It’s that male logic they always talk about. You can only learn it at Clown School. It’ll make you looney if you listen to any of it.
@@blaquehippie some of you are gold diggers, some of you are huge bitches. Black women aren’t a monolith correct???
Yes, you got it!
Are you kidding? Women say this all the time and it isn’t just black women.
Why would you ever hear this anyway? Are you dating women? Of course you don’t hear the stuff women say to men. You’re not a man!
Thank You. We LOVE independent women. We LOVE educated women. We're looking for someone to help elevate us .. A woman who can match our goals. We don't WANT to have to fight the ONE person we need... The one to help remind US how great we are and how much we are needed. Women need Love... Men need Purpose. Just Saying
100% it’s not that men don’t want you to have money it’s that most modern women act nasty as hell when they have money like they do not need their man.
💯
Attitude brings altitude 💯💯💯💯💯no one wants bad energy
I will never call my husband Daddy 🤣
Omg I’m so glad she understand that.
That is exactly the way most men feel. Me as a man love a woman's accomplishments. I don't want your money. I want your love and compassion.
Man... I love these women. So nuanced
facts wow she hit it right on
Preach sister
This is a complete lie because men get mad when you ask them for things and This includes men with money. I don't think y'all have paid attention to yourself. Both of you saying this snd most women who say this have something in common. Quit blaming women and look at the actual problem here.
What kind of dudes you messing with??
Who hurt you??
I've literally haven't been hurt & if your point is "Not all men" how about checking in with other men instead of women. Especially since there is literally no way to know this prior to getting to know someone. But since we all know men are scared of each but love chastising women, im not even going to bother responding to you again. Because YOU DONT DATE MEN, SO HOW TF ARE YOU GONNA TELL WOMEN THEIR EXPERIENCES WITH THEM? BFR!
@Self Realization also your latest comment was telling someone they shouldn't be proud of being a single mother....YOU'RE LITERALLY THE PROBLEM AMONGST MEN!
The real problem is a woman's ego no man is intimidated by you
If you think he's intimidated he's disgusted and repulsed possibly trying Escape your presence because he can feel your Dark Soul
Only females calling me Daddy is my Daughter's. I don't need no grown women calling me daddy.😓😓😓😓
Exactly!!! For me personally, it's not what you "bring" to the table that's an issue. It's how you "place" what you bring to the table "on" the table.
Calling my mate "daddy" is hella weird. I have 1 father... No offense to those who don't. Furthermore, my father was the one encouraging me not to depend on a man for anything and I know many black girls who's father taught them the same. Encouraging hypergamy with our black girls is unfortunately not feasible, because a large number of the men are not in a position to be providers for a mate and children...and a large number of them in a hood near you, are not being raised/ encouraged to value education, family values, and a fruitful marriage.
Something my ex said to me that stuck with me. 'I feel like you don't need me' I learnt my lesson.
Wow! That’s some serious self awareness right there.
Facts: Your gonna find yourself by yourself.
T-R-U-T-H...
Refreshing, but damn difficult.
This is all we've been trying to say all along. So glad women are starting to understand this.
Now this is comforting