Umjolo | Dating | Children out of wedlock

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  • Опубликовано: 13 окт 2023
  • Abba discusses "Umjolo" the culture of dating and its consequences on on society and the children born out of wedlock and don't know their fathers and paternal surnames
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Комментарии • 74

  • @godpenuel
    @godpenuel 9 месяцев назад +21

    The part about HABITS is everything!!! Most marriages fail today because ppl are used to habits of perpetual mjolo... to a point where you're used to recycling partners.
    Plus, the issue of comparison with exes is a serious problem.

  • @thebodyoflife
    @thebodyoflife 9 месяцев назад +20

    So true. I once asked my late grandfather ,why ka setso we say "ngoana ke oa ntate" and not their mother's child even though women carry a child for 9 months. He made an example and said , "if you were to take a seed of an apple, and plant it intentionally in a fertile soil that gives it the necessary environment and nutrients to sprout and grow..., what are the chances that the seed you planted would be an orange tree?". I said none. He said that is exactly how abantu looked at life, he said any seed in this world carries the genetical information and the essence of what the plant is. That is why YOU ARE YOUR FATHER'S CHILD.
    Siyabulela kakhulu Mkhulu Aba for the nuggets of wisdom.

    • @khensanimlaudzi8955
      @khensanimlaudzi8955 9 месяцев назад +3

      A child born out of wedlock belongs to the mothers side. A seed is formed from a combination of the maternal and paternal gametes and not solely from fathers gametes hence why ka setsho if marriage didn’t occur Ngwana Ke wa mme until he lobolas his child. yes Africans identies are aligned with nature but saying Ngwana Ke wa ntate has disrupted The African concept of life as that statement has been largely influenced by patriarchy and religious notions of colonialism. A child is a product of both parents and not just the fathers. CAMAGU!!

  • @danielmahlayeye4218
    @danielmahlayeye4218 9 месяцев назад +14

    the inability to see the correlation between umjolo, alcoholism and groove and the high rate of fatherlessness in the black community makes me realize that we might not be ready to reconcile our actions with our reality.

    • @lutha1720
      @lutha1720 3 месяца назад +1

      i think the goverment should make DNA test at birth mandatory and most of these issues will come to an end by simply knowing you will be on child support if the DNA is a match and the women wont receive a grant for just having a baby.

  • @kingAce3112
    @kingAce3112 9 месяцев назад +12

    So true unfortunately South Africans are too stubborn and ignorant to listen to such important messages

  • @lxndi
    @lxndi 9 месяцев назад +5

    "I choose to follow the path of Light"

  • @sphephilezwane5539
    @sphephilezwane5539 9 месяцев назад +8

    “AmaBurger amnyama”😭😭😹

  • @nomalungelomthimunye9579
    @nomalungelomthimunye9579 9 месяцев назад +7

    Have sex with multiple partners and one night stands has become a norm. It's like a way of life, most people don't see anything wrong with that. It's not just sex, there an exchange of energies, umangale umuntu izinto zakhe zingahambi kahle, ilemimoya ayithwele!

  • @ellishaindobo1794
    @ellishaindobo1794 9 месяцев назад +5

    "when are you going to grow up?" hit home hard!

  • @helendodge
    @helendodge 8 месяцев назад

    Very insightful and helpful. Thank you.

  • @illuminatemathenjwa3002
    @illuminatemathenjwa3002 9 месяцев назад +5

    We need more love and less passive moments of intimacy that have no meaningful outcomes

  • @FistoMnisi
    @FistoMnisi 9 месяцев назад +38

    Results of umjolo: HIV, depression, confusion, fatherlessness, divorce, GBV, indebtedness, murder ( man vs man), abortion, permanent infertility so many more: Hayi kumnandi ukujola????? Strange is people who engage in such always want the government to solve what’s in their control.

    • @khethelomemela5888
      @khethelomemela5888 9 месяцев назад +1

      Bro are you the guy from the previous episodes 🤔

    • @en1575
      @en1575 9 месяцев назад

      all the "Mnisi's"i know ,are smart people 😊❤

    • @FistoMnisi
      @FistoMnisi 9 месяцев назад

      @@en1575 Sbonge 🙏🏿

    • @mskhumalo5118
      @mskhumalo5118 9 месяцев назад

      ​@@en1575😂😂😂

    • @AMANDA.D04
      @AMANDA.D04 2 месяца назад

      Deep🤔

  • @Ameerah07
    @Ameerah07 9 месяцев назад +26

    This is why I looove my religion islam
    We don't date. When a boy sees a wife in you he approaches your father, both families meet first then the couple meets with the family present in a setting. A few weeks of meetings down the line .we marry. Kanjalo ke
    This method has proven successful marriages

    • @drziyandampetile2041
      @drziyandampetile2041 9 месяцев назад +2

      What if she doesn’t like you?. Does she have a say?.
      What about the honor killings?😢

    • @Ameerah07
      @Ameerah07 9 месяцев назад

      @drziyandampetile2041 she has the right to decline the proposal even after a month of marriage she can divorce him
      Honor killings/ killing one person is considered as killing a nation therefore forbidden
      Honor killings are cultural
      Not islamic

    • @moe_ramz
      @moe_ramz 9 месяцев назад

      Can one convert to Islam after having children. Make or female?

    • @Ameerah07
      @Ameerah07 9 месяцев назад +1

      @@moe_ramz yes

    • @moe_ramz
      @moe_ramz 9 месяцев назад

      @@Ameerah07 meaning after they’ve had children with someone else?

  • @dumentabai4596
    @dumentabai4596 9 месяцев назад +2

    Big Ups Mi Idren stay Blessed. Give Thanx

  • @mahlatsenkabinde9186
    @mahlatsenkabinde9186 9 месяцев назад +1

    Kuyaphuthuma Madoda, message siwutholile 🙏

  • @sphephilezwane5539
    @sphephilezwane5539 9 месяцев назад +3

    The Nerfertiti statue at the back🔥

  • @ncwasimathenjwamsibi-ms5xb
    @ncwasimathenjwamsibi-ms5xb 9 месяцев назад +3

    True Abba ngikuzwe clear my brother ✊ Give Thanks

  • @leimelabusi1456
    @leimelabusi1456 9 месяцев назад

    SO TRUE BIG MAN AND THANKS

  • @thulanikhambule4875
    @thulanikhambule4875 9 месяцев назад +2

    FIRE!!!!!!!!

  • @yamkelaswelinkomo1973
    @yamkelaswelinkomo1973 9 месяцев назад +1

    Uthethe kwa vokotheka Abba
    Camagu

  • @xoliendlovu8363
    @xoliendlovu8363 9 месяцев назад

    Well said

  • @user-ps4on2qz7h
    @user-ps4on2qz7h 8 месяцев назад

    I hope we all really learn from our mistakes. Yes, it started feeling like that in the school, where it started feeling like we are pushing friendships, whereas spirituality is a personal journey, I guess. I hear you ngomjolo, it is a habit of past experiences but wonder how we can combat it during this 4IR age where technology is taking over. Where ukujola is a button away, where we find spiritual leaders bajola with their spiritual initiates, where people sleep their way to the top, where the virgina and penis are not respected like in the past. It really makes you wonder?
    Blessed love once again!!!!

  • @divinityorg
    @divinityorg 6 месяцев назад

    Ngempela we are affecting each other, especially trauma!
    Some umjolo comes with good experiences and lessons.

  • @esetudilayi3647
    @esetudilayi3647 9 месяцев назад +1

    Uyihlabe esikhonkosini bawo💪

  • @lesetjatshego5717
    @lesetjatshego5717 5 месяцев назад

    Thanks ke nnete

  • @fionasmith6686
    @fionasmith6686 9 месяцев назад +1

    I hear you. What can a person do to break the habit of umjolo and sleeping around ?
    How do i forgive myself for harming myself ?
    I want to commit, and I'm worried to that by the time i settle down my habits will kick in and even those of my partner.

  • @curiousk4083
    @curiousk4083 9 месяцев назад +2

    Kunzima ukuphila, coz some of problems are not created by you but ours parents whom we respect. Hope us as this generation we'll be better parents but it's getting worse.

  • @babaluthandoiyaniso
    @babaluthandoiyaniso 9 месяцев назад +1

    Sibulela Kakhulu 🙏🏿

  • @user-te4ds2ww7j
    @user-te4ds2ww7j 9 месяцев назад

    Silo Samamzi ndiyakuhlonipha bhuti kakhulu i so wish you podcast can have a Chanel on TV so that many can learn.
    Enkosi bhuti.👏👏

  • @tshepomotshepana7635
    @tshepomotshepana7635 8 месяцев назад +1

    Mjolo = having fun or playing (not baby making or something else)

  • @akuurerahaman1975
    @akuurerahaman1975 8 месяцев назад

    We must not hide anything from our children

  • @mmamorenaseleke1064
    @mmamorenaseleke1064 9 месяцев назад +1

    Lesedi 🌼 re utlwile Kgosi.
    Intentionality is what we now the parents ba ma 2K need to act. Not preach. Not teach. We need to now embody the action of intentionality gore ngwana re kgone go mo abela tsela e tshweu.
    Wish someone had told me before I figured that God ain't gonna kill me if I have sex out of wedlock. 😅

  • @vuyisilenzima8511
    @vuyisilenzima8511 9 месяцев назад +5

    I wish isbongo comes from mom
    That way kungcono

  • @ayaground
    @ayaground 9 месяцев назад +6

    Civilisation isimoshile...

  • @Ameerah07
    @Ameerah07 9 месяцев назад +7

    Come on guys
    Mjolo and sex out of wedlock is a big sin
    We have no power to change the law of The Creator

    • @A_Fruitful_Woman
      @A_Fruitful_Woman 9 месяцев назад

      You’re right.

    • @chulumancontangeni6554
      @chulumancontangeni6554 9 месяцев назад

      That's Christian laws on the African creator laws

    • @Ameerah07
      @Ameerah07 9 месяцев назад

      @@chulumancontangeni6554 it's not Christian law. All religions stand on this

  • @sphephilezwane5539
    @sphephilezwane5539 9 месяцев назад

    Sibonge🙏🏾🙏🏾

  • @khulekaningcobo911
    @khulekaningcobo911 9 месяцев назад +4

    THOKOZANI

  • @Cosmic_Hobo
    @Cosmic_Hobo 9 месяцев назад +10

    Umtu who is born out of wedlock belongs to their mothers family (atleast kwaxhosa), why would there be a mixup with clan names in such a scenerio?

    • @lekagaba342
      @lekagaba342 9 месяцев назад +2

      And then if the parents later get married… what happens to the child

    • @Tha-Rock
      @Tha-Rock 9 месяцев назад +4

      @@lekagaba342 if the childs parents get married to each other then both the mother of the child belongs to the fathers fam..If they marry others, the child still belongs to the mothers parents.

    • @ntokozohlatshwayo165
      @ntokozohlatshwayo165 9 месяцев назад

      😂

    • @khensanimlaudzi8955
      @khensanimlaudzi8955 9 месяцев назад +1

      In know for a fact kwa xhosa a child born out of wedlock takes izduko zakwa malume and a child born in wedlock takes iziduko zakwa yihlo

    • @ntokozohlatshwayo165
      @ntokozohlatshwayo165 9 месяцев назад +1

      @@khensanimlaudzi8955 I feel sorry for such children. We will be okay one day

  • @ayestatik2768
    @ayestatik2768 8 месяцев назад

    lmao 😂you are the one elder.

  • @godpenuel
    @godpenuel 9 месяцев назад +1

    Why is isibongo or izibongo so important... if we are all the same people from the same family?
    We all are linked at some point?

    • @mistrolava
      @mistrolava 9 месяцев назад

      Yes the link is rooded from one source but the experiences are diverse, just as those who were before us( ancestors or generation X,) had their own experiences yet diverse we passed on, through theie coding in their DNA influencing the following geneation (generation z).

  • @sifisomthethwa3775
    @sifisomthethwa3775 9 месяцев назад +2

    Growing up and being respectful is not easy. We're parents we need to set the standard for the generations after us.
    Thank you Mhlonishwa for the words of wisdom. Those who have ears have heard you....

  • @neostouchentertainment549
    @neostouchentertainment549 9 месяцев назад

    The part of Scared to get married.. bra salut black grls with their ignorant.....theres a saying that says......"maninzi amadoda apha phandle"

  • @fanelemkhize2612
    @fanelemkhize2612 9 месяцев назад +5

    Zyakhala manje

  • @msingathimagwaxaza4674
    @msingathimagwaxaza4674 9 месяцев назад

    Unendlebe nje unetyala.

  • @mavismoalusi-lb8cv
    @mavismoalusi-lb8cv 9 месяцев назад

    How do i get hold of u mkhulu😢

    • @unpopularopinion_za
      @unpopularopinion_za  8 месяцев назад

      please send us an email with all you details and inquiry to unpopularopinionza@gmail.com

  • @theonukwayo4018
    @theonukwayo4018 9 месяцев назад +1

    its sad to be a product of umjolo.

  • @thabisoselebi323
    @thabisoselebi323 9 месяцев назад

    Aba ke eng whats wrong what happened who did what hai!! #umjolo

  • @michaelmbizane6014
    @michaelmbizane6014 9 месяцев назад

    We give thanks Mfowetu 💧🥋🔦🪑