Borderline (BPD/PTSD) Relationship & Identity Issues | Jake
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- Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
- Jake describes some of his issues in relationships and establishing an identity as a person with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and PTSD, including trust issues, misinterpretation of others' behavior, anxiety/paranoia about what others think of him, and seeing himself as simply a victim of trauma.
For more Jake, his psych session with Dr. Choi-Kain is here: • BPD & CPTSD: Therapy C...
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"Constantly Greiving".
Perfect description.
Love this interview! You folks, and this channel are awesome. So grateful for your courage, curiosity, authenticity and generosity.
Thanks so much for all you do 💜
Oh man, this is literally me in this interview. He explained it so well.
I really connected with your feelings. It is very difficult and frustrating!
Bless u x understand
Nice young man. Well presented and sensible.
Take a step back when you feel worried about other people. You owe it to yourself. Then as you say, talk to friends for evaluation.
You are very self aware and that's more than half way there! All the very best Jacob.
What a lovely interview and insight into the chaotic mixed messages the BPD mind has problems interpreting. I have a dear friend who has said almost word for word what Jake was saying: "Everyone is talking shit about me!". "Everyone lies to me!". "Why can't everyone be straight up with me!?!?" "Why can't people be more direct?!" I still don't think he quite understands that he is the "problem"..... not him so much as his BPD mind. He is always so certain of everyone else's motives. He is convinced he has a sixth sense about people, yet he doesn't quite understand that he is creating his own self-fulfilling prophecy in his relationship. If you don't trust others, they will grate at being constantly questioned which eventually leads to a behavior that is seen as untrustworthy (talking behind his back). It is a sad cycle to witness again and again.
Unfortunately, I would say about 70% of the time, other people are genuinely untrustworthy, in Western societies anyway.
Oh man, me and you both guy! I'm the same way in relationships. It's such a problem! What do we do?!
I relate to you sooooo much Jake. Thank you for sharing your story. You’re one of the good people on this earth and I wish you every happiness in your healing 💜
Thank you so much ❤
@@JacobLasherJesus loves u!!!
Thanks again to Jake for the wonderful interview and insights into relationships and dynamics with BPD. The constant overthinking and attention to small details in social etiquette and intonation really resonates with me, I do that all the time. I have a history of becoming needy then petulant, and hyper sexual throughout romantic relationships.
I've been working through a lot of issues over the last year or so following my diagnosis, and am just now entering a relationship for the first time in over a decade. It's complex, I'm always learning or unlearning something, and I always think of Icarus.
WH Auden has a poem called Musee de Beaux Arts about suffering, and since it features Icarus, your comment reminded me of it. It's about how suffering is everywhere in life and goes about it's way, unnoticed by others. So true for all of us human beings and especially those with BPD that suffer inwardly.
@@jenmorricone4014 I just read it, I'm impressed with the contrasts of tragedy with normality. Ya know, I think to extend the author's point: the world is apathetic to tragedy and victory, virtue and the lack of it, and that can be an insight for somebody like me that gets wrapped up in their own world and maybe a little paranoid. I like the style too, I'll have to check more of their work out.
With me at least, it feels like I want to disappear into love like being drawn to the sun. I've had to learn self awareness, self-preservation, and to be comfortable without external validation to resist the temptation of flying too close again. Right now I'm trying to take it slow (as possible) with my new girlfriend to build authentic connection, maintain my own sense of self, and create somewhat of a stable relationship. It's been wonderful, it'll take work and communication and I look forward to chances to grow.
I appreciate your openness about how BPD impacts your personal relationships. I relate a lot and sometimes feel embarrassed at how off the wall I can be with my assumptions and emotions. We are a work in progress and with effort we improve every day. ❤
Jake really explained it well, It's so frustrating how much is within your own head. Making issues, Overthinking things. Makes it so hard to trust your own point of view
Jake, you are so fckn fantastic and brave for doing this. thank you so much, now I feel less alone.
Thank you. Always love the content ❤
Jake, I really appreciate your honesty and courage. You are wonderful!
This means a lot, thank you oxox
I feel deeply deeply connected to this. 😢
This is very relatable and doing the centering thing with friends is genius. My friend who’s very into learning about BPD in order to better support me, I’m going to share that one! Then we can center each other when we’re having difficult days/moments.
Love it. Thanks! -P
I relate so much to you! Thanks for finding these words to describe it so well❤
Well done Jake, recently diagnosed with this power,can be cruel and a curse you explained it so well
I love Jake's interviews!
Psssst Jake - try mushrooms! It can be difficult at first because the psychedelic experience can push your brain to places you don't necessarily want to go, but I find it's a bit like overcoming a sort of... mental agoraphobia? When I find myself cornered by worries about other people and what I need to do for them, the experience of tripping out in sunny nature wearing my best outfit and listening to my favorite music helps me reconnect to this kernel of self-esteem that's been there the whole time, drowned out by all the noise and fear.
Full disclosure - it took a lot of "bad" trips to get to this point. A lot of writhing, crying and talking to myself in the mirror, telling myself I'm a good person, that I'm good enough, etc. I did a few weeks of heavy tripping and legit found myself naturally falling into "internal family systems" type thinking. I felt like I was being a family therapist for the different parts that live in me. The intensity of the difficult trips wasn't much worse than my worst sober BPD-type episodes. I'm a recovering head-hitter and I don't think I've ever actually self-harmed on psychedelics. If there's an album that makes you cry, I'd recommend it for a bad trip. "In the aeroplane over the sea" helps me get to the emotional places I need to go when I feel lost.
It can feel almost a bit self-centered to gaze into your own navel while tripping, but in the end, that's what caring about yourself is sometimes. (At least for me). Maybe the true benefit of tripping is that it forces you to focus on your immediate experience for 6 hours.
Final word of caution - I can't stress this enough - don't let yourself waste your trip on other people. Don't sit around asking your dog if he's okay for 2 hours like I did. Make the time, turn off your phone notifications, and focus on you.
You seem like a really cool person and I really hope you keep growing in the directions you want to! It seems like you have a solid sense of direction and self-awareness. I'll bet that your hard-earned wisdom is exactly what will help you move forward. You should be damn proud of yourself for how far you've come. Seriously, great job! You're inspiring as hell.
Thanks for this. -P
@@BorderlinerNotes Thanks for creating such an amazing and visually striking platform for people to speak about their experiences. It's been really cool seeing your style change over time as an interviewer and I can't wait to see what you do next! I love the opportunities for dialogue that your channel provides.
Thank you Jake. Your interviews will save lives. How much more meaningful could your life be than helping others like me, the way you do? You never need worry about who you are or what people are thinking again 😊
✅
when you have made amends - do you tell them about your disease?
what does that even mean