The barbershop where men go to heal | Matt Brown | TEDxChristchurch

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  • Опубликовано: 22 сен 2019

Комментарии • 220

  • @AdeleSJames
    @AdeleSJames Месяц назад +5

    As an ex-hairdresser, an ex-suicide intervention worker, and a former SEWB mental health worker- this video is gold, it brings it all together and presents what is healing. This message transcends. Massive respect.

  • @jayvee6218
    @jayvee6218 3 года назад +54

    Angelou brought me here 💜

    • @nibblesmemoryvault_
      @nibblesmemoryvault_ 3 года назад +1

      me too!

    • @idontthinksoo5918
      @idontthinksoo5918 3 года назад +2

      Indeed! Angelou, you have the strength, kindness, love, leadership of your mum & dad! Matt, you are simply amazing. If only there were 10 thousand of you, nz mental health needs ppl like you. Thank you, an awesome TedX. My dad was an immigrant to nz. Tho not physically violent, much of what you said I could relate to. Time, Maturity and understanding changes what once was seen as just a 'hard' exterior in a father.

    • @idontthinksoo5918
      @idontthinksoo5918 3 года назад +1

      Matt, you are simply amazing. If only there were 10 thousand of you, nz mental health needs ppl like you. Thank you, an awesome TedX. My dad was an immigrant to nz. Tho not physically violent, much of what you said I could relate to. Time, Maturity and understanding changes what once was seen as just a 'hard' exterior in a father.

    • @Ronpabalate
      @Ronpabalate 3 года назад

      SAME

  • @jacquelinezieff2018
    @jacquelinezieff2018 3 года назад +124

    He is an inspiration. Standing up for respect. Helping women who are Abused by teaching man how to heal properly. Terrific

  • @ochanyaocheola-oki7895
    @ochanyaocheola-oki7895 3 года назад +51

    Angelou’s letter to The Rock brought me here♥️🤟🏾🗣

  • @sivapasefika2219
    @sivapasefika2219 4 года назад +91

    I was told to watch this as my son preps to open his barber shop in my garage. My heart is overflowing with gratitude as everything you spoke of resonated with my heart and soul. Thank you for allowing your barbershop to be a safe place, a refuge, a place of healing, a place of love and no judgement. God Bless you for forgiving your father and choosing to love and understand his pain. God bless you in all your efforts...of making your corner of the world a better place and a safe haven. I love TED talks and this is ABSOLUTELY the best I've listened to by far. Alofa tele Atu!

  • @Breaktronix
    @Breaktronix 8 месяцев назад +4

    Those haka's were the icing on the cake... You made me open my eyes to my own abusive father. I wish he was still with us. God speed with the work that you do brother

  • @Lynette-sv3ti
    @Lynette-sv3ti Месяц назад +2

    Thankyou, must be that island blood cos your words travel far, wide and across the space and time. 2weeks ago I had my darling of 20years arrested for breaking my nose. I wanted to nip it in the bud and give him some tough love, a bit of a wake up call. And hes the one that led me to search you up, hes not a big reader, but hes reading your book. Your a walking angel my brother, thankyou

  • @ritamp18
    @ritamp18 4 года назад +88

    One of the most inspiring Ted talks i've ever seen

  • @Amesiosos
    @Amesiosos 4 года назад +70

    This man is an absolute treasure. I hope his influence spreads far and wide. Thank you so much for the work you've done, on yourself, and others.

  • @petaiasalesulu8836
    @petaiasalesulu8836 3 года назад +29

    It's a story thats played out too often within our Polynesian aigas.. one that was also a part of my upbringing and childhood. I still remember it like it happened yesterday, the beatings my mum received at the hands of a man who she loved and trusted and whom was always drunk. A father whom we kids were terrified of.. even when he wasn't drunk. We didn't have much of a relationship with him because he was either playing rugby or drinking with his boys.
    However, the narrative changed in my story for the better which i am very fortunate. My father changed. The alcohol and smoking instantly stopped, the angry and bitter man was no more and we began to see a side of our father than we began to embrace and love. Only then, were we able to take our masks off.. as well as our mother and years later, all us children married now with kids, still have that relationship with my father and mother whom are still together.
    Your message is inspirational to many out there whom face the same battles and those who have also lived through it. Thank you Uso for sharing.. for showing humanity especially us men that its ok to reveal ourselves and to take our masks off. You have a beautiful aiga uso.. May our Father in Heaven continue to bless you and your family and keep you all safe!!

  • @manawahinemaori2033
    @manawahinemaori2033 2 года назад +4

    Hi Matt, your Book- She is not your rehab, brought me here brother. From the 1st page I was in tears. I'm suffering from a Intergenerational Trauma I've had with my Mum all my life and before the day I read your book, I was on the verge of Suicide too. You saved me Matt, that day was the feather that broke the camels back for me, had a total breakdown. But your book, It saved me and i wanted say Thankyou bro

  • @gaylecheung3087
    @gaylecheung3087 3 года назад +11

    No I truly understand why a barbershop is only for men and boys not for women, women have enough places to go to get your hair done. Men deserve to have their own little private place to go to feel safe strong among their own peers where they can open up and not to be embarrassed to have a strong mentor to have their six ♥️🇨🇦🌏

  • @miyzaserit1797
    @miyzaserit1797 4 года назад +47

    Bless your humility! Bless your courage! Bless your heart! Bless your soul! May every soul heal! We share similiar story of physical and emotional beatings, moving house to house to hide from dad after he turned his violence towards me, he almost killed me. As our lives went on, I decided to look for him. He was on the streets. Ended up looking after my now then homeless Dad, until his death. His life of masking his pain was alcohol. When I forgave him, he healed and became my sons best poppa and tried to help others. He died two years after it. Only then I pursued my love for helping the community which to this day I still do. Malo le loto toa, malo le faamalosi. Ia faamanuia le Atua ia te oe ma lou aiga.

  • @johnkenny6600
    @johnkenny6600 8 месяцев назад +2

    I saw Matt speaking the other day at the NTV conference, and he is amazingly positive and an inspirational beacon in the darkness we work in in FV. He kept getting rolled out for panels and keynote speeches, and must have been exhausted by the end of the day, but he never lost that wonderful positivity or sense of humour. He is a role model for all of us.

  • @anesauaga297
    @anesauaga297 3 года назад +27

    Courage starts with showing up and letting us be seen...Malo brother THANK YOU for showing up and healing us all. Angelou brought me here x

  • @jarrodnuku2044
    @jarrodnuku2044 Год назад +8

    Brother - You bought tears and goosebumps to my being.
    You should be immensely proud of yourself - You’re breaking the cycle.
    Many well wishes for years to come.
    God bless 🙏

  • @khetsiwe1
    @khetsiwe1 3 года назад +46

    The Rock bought me here. This is an incredible talk and I am blown away by your eloquence and bravery. Keep doing what your doing. I’m having my first baby who is a boy and I hope I can teach him to express himself like you can ❤️

  • @meg1038
    @meg1038 3 года назад +11

    It is honestly so amazing to see a man so vulnerable but also self-aware - its so bloody rare, its like seeing a unicorn! I think men and even some women think that if you show your real vulnerability you will seem weak, self-pitying and pathetic - and yes you can be too self-pitying and that i dont respect but normal real vulnerability is healthy to show at times amongst the right people. And all that does is make me instantly respect you. This movement is great because it's all about going straight to the source of the problem - that is the only way to break cycles of violence. Someone has to understand and forgive their violent parent or no one will ever move on from the pain.

    • @harrisont9048
      @harrisont9048 2 года назад

      "Too" much self pitying might have to happen whether you respect it or not, as part of the learning process. It's not really about what u want. Would u do too much self pitying if u were learning the hard way not to try not to go down the rabbit hole but to accept. I think yes. I replied bc I think u r a bit damaging in ur thoughtless phrasing and I hope someone sees my reply. I'm not blaming u it's hard to phrase right (this sentence for example)

  • @nickytaylor3783
    @nickytaylor3783 8 месяцев назад +1

    This gives me so much hope, what a beautiful man 🧡

  • @thatsupersamoan41
    @thatsupersamoan41 3 года назад +7

    From one Samoan brother to another I relate to you in every way possible and when I get the chance to visit you in New Zealand I would love to pay you a visit. Much love to you uce alofa atu

  • @sharenwatson7352
    @sharenwatson7352 Год назад +6

    What an amazing human being..your barber shed will change lives..this is such an inspirational, heartbreaking, heartwarming, uplifting message and a powerful way to raise awareness for positive changes.

  • @lazarusbrunerjr.7202
    @lazarusbrunerjr.7202 4 года назад +20

    This was EPIC!!! Thank you Matt Brown for "showing up and being seen" my friend.

  • @mattwalker2340
    @mattwalker2340 Год назад +6

    I've watched so many great TED talks over the years, and honestly can't think of one as powerful as this one. Nearly half way through the book at the moment...Thank you so much for sharing🙏🙏🙏

  • @mosacanite4533
    @mosacanite4533 3 года назад +9

    It feels real good to see my Pacific Island brothers on the Ted talk! MUCH LOVE FROM HAWAII!! CHEEHOOHOOO!🤙🏾💯

  • @PlasmicPenny
    @PlasmicPenny 3 года назад +9

    Wow. I thought this was powerful already but that ending. It truly reflects the impact this will have on the community and the many men that need to heal.

  • @D0NTREPLY
    @D0NTREPLY 3 года назад +2

    that ending you will never see anywhere else in the world. the respect and dignity is off the charts.

  • @lorrainestuart2154
    @lorrainestuart2154 2 года назад +2

    What a beautiful beautiful man and human being!!! Thank you for showing men that it's important to be truthful and show your vulnerability!! ❤️❤️

  • @lng1801
    @lng1801 3 года назад +7

    The rock post leads me here 😢👏👏

  • @zambesi1
    @zambesi1 4 года назад +37

    That was an incredible inspiring talk. Loved it. Thanks for your courage to let us see all of you. You are a really bright light for our men.

  • @heneriatapoutu4536
    @heneriatapoutu4536 2 года назад +1

    That haka gave me chills. It encapsulated everything he said.

  • @rebeccatavioni4026
    @rebeccatavioni4026 Год назад +2

    Speechless. Utterly moving, I'm in tears and sending you all love

  • @UsoDak
    @UsoDak 3 года назад +23

    too daym powerful my uce! The masks, the final release, the haka, these tears! Too real! Love and respect from the States my bruh! Alofas

    • @aafoa1405
      @aafoa1405 3 года назад +3

      The haka reply got my tears going, brave an necessary kaupapa for our Polynesian men and youth ❤️

  • @RawiniaMatthews
    @RawiniaMatthews 2 года назад +2

    Bought 2 books last night. ‘She is not your Rehab’

  • @normanvaili8613
    @normanvaili8613 3 года назад +4

    I came here as Angelou & sister was on the news today reaching out to The 🪨. Your message is like reading my childhood. So relatable but also inspiring, courageous, resilient & so powerful. Respect Uso.
    God Bless!
    Alofa Aku!

  • @elenawilliams32
    @elenawilliams32 2 года назад +1

    Matt Brown has just published his book She is Not Your Rehab, it's made number 1 on NZ book list. I've ordered it and can't wait to read it.
    Well done Matt, congratulations.

  • @brittniborchardt1221
    @brittniborchardt1221 4 года назад +19

    Constance Hall sent me and I'm very glad she did! What an admirable mission. It's so refreshing to see masculine energy expressed in this way 🙏 Sending love to you!

    • @AhSatanT
      @AhSatanT 4 года назад +1

      She sent me here too ❤️

  • @littlediduno6830
    @littlediduno6830 3 года назад +8

    so beautiful...had me in tears! so raw and authentic!

  • @suzannahkolbeck6973
    @suzannahkolbeck6973 3 года назад +4

    I hope your shirt gets to The Rock. What beautiful, important work you are doing.

  • @jamescrump8482
    @jamescrump8482 10 месяцев назад

    Hi Matt just finished reading your book 24 /6/23 10:16 pm amazing i read 300 pages in three days so well written touched me alot thnks

  • @lorrainewest7408
    @lorrainewest7408 2 года назад +2

    The tears well up for me, same time here as he gets tearful. When he chooses to se his father through the eyes of love. To make that choice is so relevant. The healing is the love (the conduit so to speak) through this not from hate. Exactly.

  • @matthewmitchell8825
    @matthewmitchell8825 4 года назад +7

    You are one brave man Matthew Brown. Thank you for sharing your story and the work that you do. Long may the empowerment of our men and women continue

  • @emmaafa
    @emmaafa 2 года назад +2

    Easily by far, Matt receives a standing ovation of my heart and soul becos that's how deep his korero goes, I'm uplifted to know that he is here to help men heal and therefore women and families will also heal by default...you are incredibly blessed Matt...plus a huge mihi for paying tribute to yr amazing darling who instigated the chain reaction of love and hope through you, AROHANUI 🥰🙏🏼💖👍💞🥰

  • @geebaybee3717
    @geebaybee3717 28 дней назад

    Such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing and voicing the pain we carried throughout our whole lives. Same stories different families. We are no longer suffering in silence but willing to heal and understand mental health is not a joke. Peace, love, and light brother. Well done! ❤

  • @mallakatani3918
    @mallakatani3918 2 года назад +2

    The powerful reply in the Haka !! Has me in tears. I’m so thankful to have found this clip the start of my day. 6.36am. Lockdown Living in Auckland, October 2021 x

  • @jamillawebb3567
    @jamillawebb3567 3 года назад +6

    This video was so good!!! Angelou’s letter had me in tears. 😭Domestic violence is a global scar upon humanity that needs to be healed!

  • @nakishamitchell9935
    @nakishamitchell9935 3 года назад +8

    Could some please translate the ending for me? It was beautiful and I'm balling crying lol

    • @oraach
      @oraach 3 года назад +1

      Us A Maoro tribal war dance.. Now used ceremonially by New Zealand sports teams...

    • @sanwp9201
      @sanwp9201 3 года назад +7

      Attention
      Our purpose, is to heal
      Our purpose, is to strengthen
      Our purpose, is to fight for well-being and prosperity of all people men, woman, children.
      Rid our families from violence, neglect and contemptuous words.
      So what remains is right.
      So what remains is true and just.
      So what remains in love for our people.
      We all stand to agree.

  • @devonwalker4120
    @devonwalker4120 2 месяца назад

    This was a great speech I can relate to everything you said I went thru the said issues brother an I'm a barber today an I think God for it

  • @lilariki3183
    @lilariki3183 3 года назад +2

    What a wonderful awareness 🙌🏽🙌🏽. Heal world healed 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

  • @lisawhitewood42
    @lisawhitewood42 4 года назад +4

    Tena koe Matt mo tō kōrero mo ngā tane e mamae ana, e kore mohio ana i te aroha. May our God continue to bless you in your mahi kaikuti makawe and being there to listen to those men in a safe environment. You are a inspiration to us all and hopefully other men will follow your lead. Great logo on the t-shirts and haka expressing your's and their journey's. This is God's will to love others unconditionally. Bless you and your whanau. Ma te Atua kōutou e manaaki i ngā wa katoa.

  • @02zdae36
    @02zdae36 10 месяцев назад

    You a blessing brother

  • @melhotpink9394
    @melhotpink9394 2 года назад +1

    As a new Zealand girl he made me cry laugh you can see the light in his face mad respect thank you for being here and being real xxx

  • @lorrainestuart2154
    @lorrainestuart2154 2 года назад +1

    Words cannot describe the power of this!! Beautiful.. touching and so f***ing real! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @euni99
    @euni99 3 года назад +2

    The rock brought me here!! Angelou 😍

  • @siovaelua8593
    @siovaelua8593 4 года назад +6

    You are such a great and humble man Matt. Being the voice for the vulnerable despite your own adversities. What a beautiful heart you have.
    May God continue to use you mightily :)

  • @hanimarsh5275
    @hanimarsh5275 4 года назад +54

    Beyonce ended up looking like Jesus 😂🙌 "no daddy Jesus lives in my heart not on my head" ❤

  • @chiku40
    @chiku40 4 года назад +10

    Beautiful Korero Matt. So proud of you bro for opening up like that and for helping so many more of us men open up too. Arohanui bro. ❤️

  • @amykoeniger
    @amykoeniger 4 года назад +12

    That was wickedly powerful - thank you so much. To educate, and share your vulnerability, and then conclude with such a powerful haka. Thank you. My heart sings :)

  • @lkuaea23
    @lkuaea23 4 года назад +6

    This was absolute MANA! Fa'afetai tele lava Brother Brown for shining your light and having the courage to share your love story with the world. We all need the healing power of love in our lives. May God continue to bless you with all that is needed to sustain your good works.

  • @marzo5555
    @marzo5555 4 года назад

    Amazing!! ❤

  • @pizzaperson1
    @pizzaperson1 4 года назад +1

    Beautiful. Thank you.

  • @markj7567
    @markj7567 4 года назад

    Powerful, beautiful and spot on imo. Thank you.

  • @sofresh1647
    @sofresh1647 Год назад

    Bless. Bless. Bless. Aloha!

  • @veronicamwania9584
    @veronicamwania9584 10 месяцев назад

    Every man on this planet should watch this

  • @dianesantos4927
    @dianesantos4927 Год назад +1

    Speechless!!! The power in his words then finishing off with the haka was truely moving 🥺 that was amazing!!

    • @mattwhite3862
      @mattwhite3862 9 месяцев назад +1

      Forgive me... but is there an English translation to this specific Haka? So grateful to have been exposed to this kind soul.

  • @Jordyntayy
    @Jordyntayy 3 года назад

    chills!wow

  • @brycesaywell8714
    @brycesaywell8714 3 года назад

    Right in the heart

  • @michalcipka371
    @michalcipka371 3 года назад

    wow!!!

  • @coconutgrovemusicnz
    @coconutgrovemusicnz 4 года назад +5

    As someone who had this journey of reconciliation to self starting with me and working with brothers whom yo describe, I am inspired by your real straight up. Kia Kaha brother...Your work inspires

  • @krunktina69
    @krunktina69 9 месяцев назад

    Now that is a Ted talk ma’am

  • @hilarywilson500
    @hilarywilson500 2 года назад

    absolutely brilliant and inspiring - thank you

  • @tongatonga8553
    @tongatonga8553 3 года назад +2

    🙌🏼

  • @creative4lifenz650
    @creative4lifenz650 2 года назад

    I just love the honesty. Your forgiving spirit is inspiring.

  • @vasumatiprem
    @vasumatiprem 2 года назад

    awesome man

  • @mariaeliepa2918
    @mariaeliepa2918 4 года назад +2

    Loved this!!!

  • @mattl1962
    @mattl1962 3 года назад +6

    This is inspiring. So much of this is one of the truest and emotionally raw speeches I have ever seen.

  • @temeikafairley4924
    @temeikafairley4924 3 года назад

    Thank you!

  • @rosahardin1472
    @rosahardin1472 2 года назад

    AWESOME

  • @JohnSmith-be7by
    @JohnSmith-be7by 3 года назад

    Beautiful

  • @nicaelaemily3446
    @nicaelaemily3446 3 года назад

    Beautiful talk Matt!!!! 🙏❤️

  • @braedyntogi83
    @braedyntogi83 4 года назад +1

    Thank you so much bro 💯🙌🏼

  • @meganmadigan4808
    @meganmadigan4808 4 года назад +2

    Absolutely beautiful and spot on. I 👀 you, Matt Brown.

  • @patriciaforge3237
    @patriciaforge3237 4 года назад +2

    That was beautiful!! Thank you for being you, Matt Brown!

  • @aussiewombat888
    @aussiewombat888 2 года назад

    Amazing man!!

  • @kaysparks9040
    @kaysparks9040 4 года назад +2

    Beautiful humble man. Loved your story
    .

  • @solocollins6329
    @solocollins6329 2 года назад

    You are an inspiration thank you for your courage to share your journey from suffering to healing.

  • @carissajae2410
    @carissajae2410 2 года назад

    This was incredible 🙏🏼

  • @marlon1431
    @marlon1431 3 года назад

    This is on another level! Amazing!

  • @elisabethm9655
    @elisabethm9655 2 года назад +1

    The end of his talk opened my heart and my eyes welled…but the Haka left me in full tears….thank you for everything ❤️

  • @brookarmstrong6917
    @brookarmstrong6917 4 года назад +2

    Big love ❤️

  • @clairesarah100
    @clairesarah100 4 года назад +1

    Well, this was incredible..

  • @MsGinge52
    @MsGinge52 2 года назад +1

    You are amazing! I went hunting for who u are… found this …I haven’t it to my ex partner he needs this, he needs to heal, and today I forgive him! And I hope his children can too. Thank u so much x

  • @TheGeeps
    @TheGeeps 10 месяцев назад +1

    Beautiful ❤

  • @tanyam7841
    @tanyam7841 2 года назад

    God Bless you brother!

  • @mallakatani3918
    @mallakatani3918 2 года назад

    Thank you TEDx and thank you Matt Brown ♥️💫🙏🏽💯🪴

  • @user-ws7si6zl5b
    @user-ws7si6zl5b 3 месяца назад

    Thanku blessings to all in collective regeneration

  • @jimvercoe8165
    @jimvercoe8165 2 года назад +1

    Kia Ora Bro, thankyou for this. This was powerful.

  • @bexx8560
    @bexx8560 4 года назад +4

    Amazing!! So inspirational ❤❤

  • @pennyweickum5032
    @pennyweickum5032 2 года назад

    So good!! So good!!! ♥️♥️♥️

  • @sheltzshelton1454
    @sheltzshelton1454 2 года назад

    Beautiful! What a Gentleman...

  • @koreysamuels8586
    @koreysamuels8586 2 года назад

    broooooooooo i love how u use your barbershop as a vehicle to help people......this is like what me and some other men who also had traumatic and generational trauma are doing aswell, but we use things like hunting, music, cooking, food gathering, home groups and kapahaka as the vehicles.....the best inspirations are indeed the ones that have lived through tests and come out as dedicated men to heal and better themselves, forgive those who harmed them and like you said.....let the pride go and be vunerable......i took this exact journey going on nearly 8-10 years now and it wasnt the most painful wakeup call ever but man the transformation was amazing.
    thank you bro its encouraging to know more men are stepping up for generations to come.bless you ma brother.