My story ft. bea

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  • Опубликовано: 21 сен 2024
  • This is my story... sorry for crying fml
    kik- nikkiicos
    twitter- @nikkiisayshi
    instagram- nikkiicostantino
    advice blog- dearnikkii.tumblr.com
    tumblr- heyh8r.tumblr.com
    coming out video - • for tumblr kiddies xo ...
    no copyright intended

Комментарии • 111

  • @jasycam7946
    @jasycam7946 10 лет назад +5

    When you talked about coming out I had a massive smile, and I was going through depression and only today I got rid of my blades and I love your story 💕

  • @eirinikefala8144
    @eirinikefala8144 10 лет назад

    You're right.People do are judgemental but did you ever thought of encouraging yourself and go to them and say "Anything you do or call me won't harm me because I'm stronger than I look." You've been suffering for years and I'm impressed you made it till here.I hope you get to live a wonderful life because you're just so nice,try help others,beautiful(and I mean it because I never call anyone beautiful since everyone I know are cruel,bullies andheartless.) I'm only 12 and I started getting depressed t 5 even though I didn't knew what depression was back then.I have cut my hips,arms,wrists,neck,waist,collarbone,overdosed,went hospital,eating disorders.Everything I wish I could b strong like you and keep on living.I've watched all your videos because I think you are amazing and a great adviser.please keep smiling.

  • @sillyme1211
    @sillyme1211 10 лет назад

    This video has helped me a lot I was just diagnosed with depression I was put on anti depressants a week ago... they just seem to be making it worse I feel better for two hours then just want to be alone and sleep I just want to take the whole bottle of pills.... but I stop myself and watch videos like this too remind myself that im not alone and that my family need me I thank you for sharing your story and helping so many people

  • @HS-ri6sr
    @HS-ri6sr 10 лет назад +1

    love you Nikki.
    to know that we're all in this together makes ot so much easier

  • @roguestorm9669
    @roguestorm9669 5 лет назад +1

    Your story relates to what I'm going through right now. I'm 18now. I was 15 or 16 when I started cutting. I've attempted suicide several times. It got so bad that I ended up locked up once and put in a facility for about 9 months. I got out only to find out that nothing would ever be the same. I told a couple close friends about what had happened. Pretty soon the whole school had found out and people who had previously been my friends distanced themselves from me. People who I didn't even know would leer at me in the hallway. Nobody would sit with me at lunch and people wouldn't even look me in the eye. It was devastating. I found out the hard way that the world cares for themselves not for you. It's a hard pill to swallow but once I realized that I got through it. Unfortunately the cutting came back as well. I was able to go six months with cutting before I broke. That happened yesterday. Now here I am trying to not cry as I type this. Thank you N. You are an inspiration.

  • @skylerkinsella3588
    @skylerkinsella3588 10 лет назад

    You have no idea how strong you are...I am fighting right now and I am so happy I have this channel to come to when I feel like im the only one...thank you so much! I'm going to stay strong 3

  • @thatregulargirl14
    @thatregulargirl14 10 лет назад

    im going into rehab next week and im so so scared
    and thank god you post those video's stuff, cause they honestly keep me going

  • @hannahmariewoodruff4414
    @hannahmariewoodruff4414 10 лет назад +1

    Thank you so much! Your videos have helped me so much! You make me feel less alone.

  • @zarawillcox4913
    @zarawillcox4913 9 лет назад

    Nikkii I'm so sorry that this happened to you. You don't deserve all of this hate. You're so beautiful, and we will always have your back. I cant watch this video without crying, and I'm not an emotional person. Thank you for being so strong and surviving, showing anyone that you can truly handle anything that happens to you. ILY

    • @lizharrington3791
      @lizharrington3791 6 лет назад

      zara willcox Hey this video was amazing so amazing I am totally blind I literally almost injured but before I took those pills I stopped and watched your video you are amazing you don’t know how much you inspire me how much this video inspires me

  • @olemissguy200
    @olemissguy200 10 лет назад

    respect for coming out like that that my friend i suffer from depression and it is sadly because of my stupidity of being a horrible friend she was one of my closest... we dated and it ended because of her mom not wanting us together this recently happened so we broke up few weeks ago her new bf txt's saying you aren't aloud to txt her anymore blah blah i weighed my options either risk her or me getting hurt or break it off i chose the second option and now she hates me idk what to do i feel like the biggest idiot in the world i live in a small town where everyone knows everyone (About 20,000 ppl) and you don't know the crap that is said about me not only do i go to a school with a little over 200 kids is i have been tortured since kindergarden to my junior year of high school everything seems to spiral out of control and it's hard to figure out what to do but your vid made me a little better

  • @misscouetes
    @misscouetes 10 лет назад +1

    Since i found your RUclips youve been my biggest inspiration stay strong

  • @candrapaige6406
    @candrapaige6406 10 лет назад

    Thank you nikki. You helped but I'm not totally happy. You made me realise a few things. I found this just tonight and you lifted my hope limit a little more.

  • @Sungkawa
    @Sungkawa 10 лет назад +1

    Your strong ! Stronger than atleast stronger than I ,
    You a friend once asked me are you happy I could not answer the question and avoided answering
    He later asked me do You love yourself I could not answer because I did not know
    I still do not know , But I do believe that people can be genuinely happy I see it in others with envy because i am incapable of being Happy, but I do belief in the end every one os destined to find happiness
    One just oughts to seek their own on the right time , and I believe you to will find it some day
    Just hang on and stay strong from what I can hear is that you have a caring family and friends
    Your lucky

  • @madisonlopez3391
    @madisonlopez3391 10 лет назад

    I really, really needed this. Tonight was a horrible night, and I thought that if I just ended it nobody would care. But when I watched this video, I felt wanted for once. Thank you so much. Really. :)

  • @_fairy03
    @_fairy03 6 лет назад

    I know I'm really late on seeing this video, but I just wanted to say that I love this. I'm really proud of you for sharing your story.💕
    And I love your Harry Styles cut out in the background.

  • @andyallen9377
    @andyallen9377 10 лет назад +1

    Watchin videos such as this is my way of not goin through the thoughts of suicide

  • @ashkitzz
    @ashkitzz 8 лет назад +4

    First off, I just wanted to say, you are beautiful. I wish I was you. Anyways, you're right about how life sucks. But God is here for all of us. Now to get on with my story... My life is hard, yes. But not as hard as most lives. My childhood was great. I had many friends. Everything was ok until my age of 7. One morning, my dad just walked out of the house with 2 suit cases. Not even saying goodbye, I cried. When I was 8, my dad kidnapped me from my own school. That day was my birthday as well. Half away from 16, heh. Anyways, I lived my life. As I got older, about 10, I realized I didn't have many friends. I had straight A's. I was very quiet. Nothing much tragic really happened then except loneliness. Growing older, I started to get teased by my own supposed called "friends" Negative comments gave from their mouths and out of mouths that I didn't even know. My older brother himself and his friends were mean to me. My brother is the reason why I look in the mirror everyday and call myself fat. Useless. Ugly. Unimportant. What use do I have in this world? Well, God put me here for a reason. My grades started to drop. Music was an escape from my dreadful mind. Depressing music rather. I bought a journal to write my thoughts, considering the fact I had no one to talk to who understood me. I got suicide thoughts. Thoughts on cutting. Everyday after school, I would close my door. Do my homework then cry. Each night I would cry more, looking at the sharp scissors on my dresser. I still do this stuff to this day. I'm still young, meaning I have s while til I get out of the place I call prison aka school. God is here for all of you. Everyone who reads this, don't fall under Satan's evil spell, depression. You might think you're alone, but God made a promise that he would never leave us. So, he's right beside you the whole time. God bless you all.

    • @ashkitzz
      @ashkitzz 8 лет назад

      came from their mouths* a* Mistakes, oh mistakes ;-;

  • @toriapplegate1949
    @toriapplegate1949 10 лет назад

    Ur so pretty no one deserves to go through wht u did!!

  • @kaitlindavid345
    @kaitlindavid345 8 лет назад

    Nikkii, you are who you are, dont let them bring you down! Just be strong!

  • @colieolieroliepolie
    @colieolieroliepolie 10 лет назад +1

    I love your cut out in the back

  • @katehanson7994
    @katehanson7994 10 лет назад +1

    Thanks for sharing your story. I wish I was as lucky as you are. You have family who cares about you. Sometimes I wish I had that. You are inspirational and I love your videos

  • @franlee4738
    @franlee4738 10 лет назад

    I really respected you sharing this. Its helped me understand I'm NOT alone. Thankyou

  • @chloegee9175
    @chloegee9175 10 лет назад

    Im here for you too ! For anything ! Your amazing and remember that ! xx

  • @randomrainbows65
    @randomrainbows65 10 лет назад +1

    Holy hell I love you! You are beautiful and a making and inspirational and kind and perfect and pretty and truthful and real and sweet and caring and just perfect!!!! I don't know what this world would have done

  • @AvaRose13
    @AvaRose13 10 лет назад

    hey, your a lovely girl and never listen to anyone who is a horrible person and doesn't respect you, im always here for you because I know how hard life can get and you must stay positive

  • @Scarchild561
    @Scarchild561 10 лет назад

    Your so inspirational I play basketball and the stuff that you have endured continues to motivate me

  • @sharky2399
    @sharky2399 10 лет назад

    I been through the same thing but started in elemarty. Fight through it and things will change! I make videos and get made fun of it but i tell them "your just jelly i got the guts to do it!" Dont be afriad to hold your chin high and be proud of who you are!!

  • @cocol226
    @cocol226 10 лет назад

    Don't worry if things like that happen agin, we're all here for you!(: just ignore them and fight! but not physically like just stay strong😊

  • @lokkemarie
    @lokkemarie 9 лет назад +1

    you're amazing

  • @1330pixie
    @1330pixie 10 лет назад +1

    Thank you so much. Your an inspiration to me to get help and get better

  • @chloelouise6590
    @chloelouise6590 10 лет назад

    Your videos have made me realise thank u so much

  • @dhannijones6441
    @dhannijones6441 9 лет назад

    You're absolutely beautiful you're my new favorite youtuber

  • @Vespertine__
    @Vespertine__ 8 лет назад

    I know what you mean by being ready and not being ready at the same time. It happened to me last night when I had the sleeping pills in my hands because someone I really loved told me to take them and leave this world. I'm really sorry about what happened to you and I really respect the fact that you're bisexual and don't let anyone judge you because I'm asexual and I know how it feels

  • @mimimullen7664
    @mimimullen7664 10 лет назад

    Your so beautiful! Stay strong. Your story is similar to mine but I'd never share it, your really brave :)

  • @Christstand4
    @Christstand4 10 лет назад +1

    You're a beautiful inspiration!!! Don't believe any shit anyone says!!

  • @anitaawsome
    @anitaawsome 10 лет назад

    I Wanted to say that your video was amazing. you really changed the way that i view things. Also that in a way I feel that Everyone goes threw things. its really how people handle it. My life was very hard basically i was put into foster care when i was 2 and in a 9 years course of different homes i was placed in 20 different foster homes. but when was 11 i finally found my family. I was adopted but i was picked on because me and my mom were different colors I'm black she white. but to top that i struggled with bipolar disorder. but i wasn't aware until i got help. when im sharing this with because in a way i understand. I will never Fully understand your struggles. but you will and you have so many things to look forward to. So does everyone. thank you for sharing ur story

  • @seppenaulaerts355
    @seppenaulaerts355 8 лет назад +3

    I get bullied and my parents hate me and all this stuff make me wanna die i have nobody to count on what do i need to do i have no clue :( and ur cute btw

  • @AmberRuggeri
    @AmberRuggeri 10 лет назад

    your my idol and I love you so much 😭

  • @mart3625
    @mart3625 9 лет назад +1

    You are such a great person

  • @frozenpotato7069
    @frozenpotato7069 9 лет назад +1

    I have no one to talk to. I'm depressed and I cut every night but suicide is selfish. I am stuck in this position and there looks like no way out. I don't know how to get help...

  • @andylikesbands1137
    @andylikesbands1137 10 лет назад

    Your such an inspiration

  • @idalianchondo8454
    @idalianchondo8454 10 лет назад

    You've helped me so much💕
    Thank you..(:

  • @oofoof7336
    @oofoof7336 9 лет назад

    This is why I love you

  • @isaactorres9750
    @isaactorres9750 10 лет назад +2

  • @renkatspeedpaints239
    @renkatspeedpaints239 10 лет назад +1

    i love you x

  • @paulinefgo2283
    @paulinefgo2283 10 лет назад

    I have so much respect for u

  • @johnrogers3676
    @johnrogers3676 6 лет назад

    I sorry things happen to you.i can tell you have something in you that is amazing.you have Hart of gold.i hop everything going good for you.i believe God working all over you.you look so happy.i say a prayer for you tonight.may God bless you

  • @taylorhurst4406
    @taylorhurst4406 9 лет назад

    You are so pretty oh my golly

  • @leahkearney8722
    @leahkearney8722 10 лет назад

    This is amazing💟

  • @deirdreverwaijen7063
    @deirdreverwaijen7063 8 лет назад

    I think you are a amazing person ♥

  • @alexiobriones6015
    @alexiobriones6015 10 лет назад

    Let them judge girl. It's there opinion. They don't no better but alwayse forgive them trust me it's hard to forgive I've been bullied to but hey I started speaking positive. And they don't bother me anymore. I'm bi to but keep your head up your not alone. You are Not alone :)

  • @nickmacmusic
    @nickmacmusic 10 лет назад +1

    You are so pretty and dont listen to any of those assholes ur perfect

  • @tammyskinner6643
    @tammyskinner6643 10 лет назад

    just watched every single one of your videos and wow, you're an inspiration. i would message you but im not very good at this youtube thing...

  • @alexbullock7068
    @alexbullock7068 8 лет назад

    respect! ur amzing

  • @lol-wg3ht
    @lol-wg3ht 10 лет назад

    My idol ❤️

  • @christophersanizaca7185
    @christophersanizaca7185 9 лет назад

    That's how I feel

  • @Nissansx-ev6ym
    @Nissansx-ev6ym 8 лет назад +1

    my phone speaker was right next to my ear and you coughed and scared the shit out of me

    • @Nissansx-ev6ym
      @Nissansx-ev6ym 8 лет назад

      and I can't tell anybody that I know I can't get help they don't take me seriously because of how much I lie and say I'm OK and how much I act happy around them they don't know the real me and I wish I had someone to talk to I wish I had a therapist but I don't and I can't

    • @Nissansx-ev6ym
      @Nissansx-ev6ym 8 лет назад

      That day is gonna be soon for me

    • @Nissansx-ev6ym
      @Nissansx-ev6ym 8 лет назад

      No I don't

    • @Nissansx-ev6ym
      @Nissansx-ev6ym 8 лет назад

      It's Only A Matter Of Time I don't have anybody I have tried to tell my friends but they don't listen they don't believe me I cant tell my dad because he is drunk most of the time and my mother she hates me so does my dad and it is because they know I'm useless a waist of food money and space it went on since I have known them but it got worse when I told them I was bisexual I've only known my dad about 2 years because he left when I was born my mother gave me away and took up drugs she is still on them I was.adopted by my grandmother and she died then I was moved back to my.parents with a step dad and lil sis after a month my little sister was shot in front of me and bled to death in my arms my step dad killed himself the day after and now my drunk dad moved back in with us and both my parents hate me plus.to add to that I bullied everyday physically and mentally just recently a video was posted of me cutting and then a week ago a video was posted of me getting jumped I really don't have anybody to talk to

    • @Nissansx-ev6ym
      @Nissansx-ev6ym 8 лет назад

      It's Only A Matter Of Time it is the_winnerof

  • @caitlinspencer2398
    @caitlinspencer2398 10 лет назад

    Thank you for your videos a lot! With out them I might not even be here and I also want to ask if around that time did you ever make a suicide note?

  • @HellOhPanDuhh
    @HellOhPanDuhh 10 лет назад

    You're so beautiful

  • @skylerkinsella3588
    @skylerkinsella3588 10 лет назад

    Phone screwed up..fml I ment I am going to stay strong

  • @elizabethrosciano5827
    @elizabethrosciano5827 10 лет назад

    And then you met me and life became great

  • @alymacdonald6199
    @alymacdonald6199 10 лет назад +1

    You are so beautiful!!!!!

    • @NikkiiCostantino
      @NikkiiCostantino  10 лет назад +3

      So are you my love

    • @exclusionx
      @exclusionx 8 лет назад +1

      +Nikkii Costantino u are so pretty I don't no how anyone could do that to you

  • @sodapoplove95
    @sodapoplove95 10 лет назад

    Nikki, it seems you are here for everyone on RUclips so I'll be here for you if you ever feel nobody is there just message me. I can relate very much!

  • @thebesties3619
    @thebesties3619 10 лет назад

    You are my idol like seriously I younger than you just wish j seen thjs before

  • @jadebancroft9103
    @jadebancroft9103 9 лет назад

    Hi I know how you feel I've not got as far as you but I've been bad for a while and I've been looking for ways out and you were an inspiration so thanks and please do me a favour
    Never stop making videos because I bet to a lot of people you are an inspection and we all love you for it

  • @itsFiP
    @itsFiP 10 лет назад

    ♡♡♡

  • @sforsofie9366
    @sforsofie9366 8 лет назад

    love you will like all you´re vids

  • @johnrogers3676
    @johnrogers3676 6 лет назад

    How everything thing going good for you. May God bless you

  • @kirstencarter4788
    @kirstencarter4788 8 лет назад

    I go to a therapist every two weeks but it doesn't really help. I cut every night and I have been a week without it in my life I started when I was around 11 and I am 13 now. There is someone that is going to my school that is trying to help me I call her my friend but I question it every day because I have the same problem you do I think that my friends like me but they invite each other over to there house and not me

  • @randomrainbows65
    @randomrainbows65 10 лет назад

    Without you and call me weird and creepy but I long for a friend like you! I have no one for me yet somehow I feel like your there for me... Crazy I know .. I don't even know you but... Idk. Also I know what it's like being bisexual and coming out... I did it too young and I wasn't even allowed to kiss my best friend on the cheek without getting 50 different comments.... Also you are incredibly smart and intelligent and precious and stunning and gorgeous and beautiful and worth it! ♥︎

  • @jessicajoyner664
    @jessicajoyner664 10 лет назад

    You are so strong to get through this.
    Coming out can be so hard, I know, I'm bi thought I was gay for a while but wasn't
    If you ever need someone to talk to, you can chat me through hangouts

  • @Its_natalie.kate_here
    @Its_natalie.kate_here 7 лет назад

    Going through the worst time of my life

  • @emilygalindo940
    @emilygalindo940 8 лет назад

    I've been bullied for 14years and in 8th grade at Isaac I got bullied so bad that I got beat up just by Getting bullied and I tried to commit suicide and kill myself and over dose myself and ppl like my twin better than me they say that I'm annoying and all that...And know that im,in hs it's just getting worse.....like sometimes idk what to do

  • @alex-bz2om
    @alex-bz2om 7 лет назад

    who's bea ?
    and i love your videos your so amazing ❤

  • @Brenda-mp8ul
    @Brenda-mp8ul 8 лет назад +1

    You're so beautiful. All you need to do is just step up for self, tell the haters too fuck off?

  • @TreeintheQuad
    @TreeintheQuad 10 лет назад

    philosophy on life from a girl who hasnt even lived yet

  • @jessicajoyner664
    @jessicajoyner664 10 лет назад

    My one person was literally my pitbull bc she would die if i died. she would mourn hreself to death

  • @bieberfan4ever1
    @bieberfan4ever1 10 лет назад

  • @dessieallison8182
    @dessieallison8182 6 лет назад

    Ur Story with ur friends are literally the same story with my friends and my mom is in prison and my dad left me with I was born and I had to live with my grandma and my anute would beat me and yell at me when my grandma wasn't around and my cousin's where the same and every night I cried and one day I cut myself and my uncle saw me and I was bleeding and he took me to the hospital for selfharm and the digosed that I have sucidel thoughts, anxiety, depression, and I was never the same I still wanted to kill my self but on day I tried to and my uncle just gave my a long talk about how imporant it is to live amd one day I told my trusted friend for 1rs grade and she told everyone and I was humiliated everyone bullied me and called me a freak and I didn't want to live I cried on my bed with blood on my wrist and I didn't know my step siblings where visiting and my lil sis saw me and I was passed out and she was crying on the side of the hospital bed that I woke up in and my step brother and my step dad and step sister where hold my hand crying and saying something and my grandma was crying to and my anute said she derves to die and now I feel fine but sometimes I don't..............

  • @dhannijones6441
    @dhannijones6441 9 лет назад

    I really hope you answer

  • @brttnayramondgril121
    @brttnayramondgril121 5 лет назад

    so according to your logic you don't have our backs

  • @aryelvictor3466
    @aryelvictor3466 9 лет назад

    Were ur friends

  • @niceguy4good
    @niceguy4good 10 лет назад

    im so here for you nikki :) if you need anyone to talk to . im 25 and im in a powerwheelchair and im from wi :) ..

  • @Alexou3553
    @Alexou3553 10 лет назад

    oh also i think about you alot

  • @anitaawsome
    @anitaawsome 10 лет назад

    i would that to talk to you even tho i don't know u but you seem cool

  • @tylerodell4994
    @tylerodell4994 9 лет назад

    Nikkii. I. Like. You. So. Much