Intersex Lives Unveiled | Real Pride Documentary
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- Опубликовано: 19 сен 2024
- In this groundbreaking documentary, intersex individuals reveal the secrets of their unconventional lives -- and how they have navigated their way through this strictly male/female world, when they fit somewhere in between.
The first question any new parent asks: "Is it a boy or a girl?". But what happens when doctors cannot answer that question? 1 in 2,000 babies are born with genitalia so ambiguous that no-one can tell if the child is male or female.
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#intersex #lgbtq #identity
Thank you all so much for this. My Uncle was born intersex and i grew up watching everyone trying to avoid the issue. I was fortunate to be able to care for him in his last years. I always wondered what his life could have been like if he could have been just a person. Not male or female, just a person. Bless you all for speaking out.
Sadly, this is how many families dealt with any issue to do with sexuality, ignore it and hope it goes away. I'm glad that your uncle had you, that he/they could be him/themselves. ❤
@NieR Automática
You sure can't.
But God can.
He was a person, and at least he had you to appreciate him as a person.
I think at some point we’ve all met someone that we couldn’t really tell which sex they are. I remember kids like that in school and kids were so mean to them. It’s terrible. I remember this one girl in highschool, she did look female mostly but she had a full beard. She would actually take an electric razor in the girls bathroom and shave often. She didn’t care if people made fun of her and I think at times enjoyed the shock of kids surprised by her behavior. I remember she had a really “tuff” attitude and she actually made me nervous just because she always acted like she wanted someone to pick a fight with lol.
It is very sad that most intersex people suffer from depression and get picked on.
I had a closeted gay uncle. I can relate and I am now 73 . Still such a long road we have to travel. Keep up the fight!
What devastation people have had to endure just to make uncomfortable people more comfortable. It’s so upsetting. These people are amazing to me. God bless them. Oh, and so proud of the parents who just let their children be.
My sister-in-law had a baby with intersex. It’s so hush hush that I didn’t even find out he was intersex for 10 years. I just know her child had so many genital surgeries to the point that he has to catheterize himself every few hours to urinate. It’s so sad the doctors did so many operations on that poor child. He has major depression issues. His mom now feels awful for putting her son through so many surgeries thinking it would help her son. The whole situation is tragic.
This is so sad. I’m so sorry this happened to your sister and family. This made me want to cry.
She should left them have both genders they are healthy the doctors always pressure any Operation is risky
Doctor or carpet salesman they are both scammers, what's the difference? Carpet has never killed people.
This breaks my heart. Simply seeing my nephew go through circumcision and having pain cuz of it broke my heart so imagine these surgeries. I just wish for that child the best in life and acceptance. May the child be happy
I was born intersex and my parents & doctors chose to make me a boy based on the ease of surgery necessary to choose.
My cervex, ovary, and labia were removed and a scrotum was stitched together because they saw I had two testicles.
Because i didn’t have a uterus and only one ovary it was an easy choice for them.
I knew growing up I was a girl and so much never made sense until I became an adult and make my own decisions.
Recently I’ve undergone reversal and had PPV vaginoplasty and on Estrogen the rest of my lifestyle. If you’re a parent let your child decide.
But do you believe your gender is woman or intersex
I love the solution given at around 44:00. Please just don't rush things, let them decide if they want surgery or hormones or even nothing once they are old enough. Just love your healthy intersex baby. At one point, they probably need hormones was eye opening as well.
And doctors should not intervene too early, nor without the consent of parents, like drugging the mother for three days and not telling her what happened. So sad. For both baby and family.
Thanks for the documentary. I completely understand that in 2022 we call you guys intersex.. When I was born in the 70s, in Germany it was called "hermaphrodite" (like having both kinds of reproductive organs) not intersex. But as far as I remember, it wasn't considered offensive. And I was raised like " it's a rare medical condition". But still not "it is a healthy baby".
Funny thing is that when you study biology, "hermaphrodite" animals and plants are considered competlety normal in nature.
And if you study old cultural scripts, the word "hermaphrodite" was a common thing, for example a Greek God, the child of Hermes (the messenger) and Aphrodite (beauty and love) and Hermaphrodites were considered amongst the "winged love-gods" known as Erotes. There was a cult around them and they were viewed as protecting the world (in India actually it was Vishnu, I believe, hence it wasn't only in Greek epics). Greece was later Roman empire, and Hermaphrodite was as protector of family and marriage. Which I think is a nice way to put things in old non-monotheistic religions and cultures. Many people don't know that, my guess.
Anyway.
Just because it's a rare condition in humans, doesn't mean it's not natural. Maybe this is why I react on the positive solution so much. There was a time where gender variability was seen as being a part of the many God's. And the planet Mercury (budh = a teacher, wise, intelligent and learned) is also a symbol in Sanskrit /Vedic for gender binary. This was millenia before the actual "paradigm of non-binary" was en vogue. Mercury was one of the planets that was neither female nor male but a neuter gender. It was just normal back then and Budh/Mercury was worshiped as an important "teacher". Budh later marries Ila, a man who becomes a woman. And so forth.
Those things were common stories told to people thousands of years ago. We could tell those old stories to intersex children again. To give them a story to identify with instead of hush hush no talking about what they are.
All I want to say is that we have ancient epics where man turn into woman or vice versa or where God's have two sexes by nature. And these stories were part of the culture, and told without shame or guilt. Like endless possibilities exist in the infinite universe.
Just don't rush things and let them decide once they are old enough.
Thank you, this comment taught me a lot!
Good points
In my early thirties I met the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She was born in the Caribbean and she had both parts.
Fantastic! This should be compulsory viewing for everyone. Brought tears to my eyes, because it’s true, we are ALL born different.
I have an internet friend in Egypt with whom I have discussed homosexuality, and he is firmly of the view that gay men are often “turned gay” as the result of sexual abuse as a child. This is apparently a standard narrative in Muslim countries. It blew me away when one of the contributors to this video explained that as an intersex child they were the easy target of sexual abuse. Maybe gay kids make easy targets too. It’s (obviously) not the abuse that turns you gay, but the potential vulnerability of a kid who is different. We need to give these kids more protection, not increase their vulnerability by shaming them. It is the “straight” world that needs to be educated about the diversity of the human condition.
This is a wonderful, honest , eye opening documentary
What a fabulous documentary! As a teacher and a parent, I cannot recommend this enough!! Much love and peace from Country Victoria. Australia 🇦🇺 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺
Can’t stop thinking of Max would he have stood a better chance of doctors didn’t take it upon themselves to give him a surgery he didn’t want or likely need? Breaks my heart ❤️
I am 65 when I was 20 I lived and worked on a dairy I had 2 toddlers , but I had had a wonderful experience I met and befriended a girl who was also a guy!? Never heard of that before she had a very hard life , she did confide in me she was very depressed and didn’t tell anyone else it was hard for her to date she didn’t only a couple of times and was beaten because she came out and shared them every other person wanted or did hurt her , we loved each other as friends but that’s all I could offer she was in love with me she said ,but I told her she had only knew me to be the one that was kind to her ,and in the future she would meet someone meant for her she had to run away I heard she had a very isolated life and very unkind family to say the least open your hearts to people and just love as much as you can
How a lot of things were dealt with, lets pretend it never happened, burn all the evidence and not speak of it again! These things just don't disappear if you ignore them! I'm glad there has been some change at least.
Run that by me again.
What a great video! What great people! Thank you for sharing your life experiences. That's brave!
Let the child grow up , let them display who they want to identify as their chosen sex. Let them be healthy first, then go on from there. I feel that Some Dr's just want to slice and dice!
The past year is when I began to hear personal stories of intersex people. It breaks my heart to hear of the pioneers that were subjected to dark age technology and psychology. From this day forward I pray that you don't have to be compared to any one , if the parts you have when your born function properly there shouldn't be a problem. Live your best life....❤
Omg these stories I want to hug them all 😭 , my heart goes out to them . This is so eye opening
Thank you all so much for sharing your stories. You are a wonderful bunch of people. Living life to the full. Bless you all.
"The truth is, I'm a person."
They are all beautiful human beings.
I'm among them, I like the story's, I am encouraged. thank you so much.
Well done. As the biological father of a Non binary adult child who is now a parent of a 2 year old I am blessed to be a Grandfather. Family is about love and commitment not sex and expectations.
Wow....the first comment made in the video is probably the most tame and reasonable way to react to the situation (before testing and genetics of course). Dress your baby in yellow and green and ENJOY them. We don't know who they are yet... There are so many stories of more invasive solutions....sometimes they work out but sometimes they don't. Love your baby as your baby...I think k that's the best advice no matter how complicated it may be. Decisions can come later
Is it too simple a question to ask why these children weren't allowed to simply grow up, with both male and female attributes, without forcing either identity on them, until they decided what, and if they identified as male or female?
How sad for these beautiful people glad they were so strong respect
This is such a rejection of these children and all the surgeries and inspections are uncomfortably close to molestation. Yet this is far from uncommon. We really need to do better.
There should be some sort of app, club, or something where intersexed people can connect and form loving relationships with those that understand them and hopefully wouldn't reject them 😊
What a great video.
This is an amazing film.
it is definitely this life we do not stop learning ... Excellent documentary .... My respects to all 🙂
We are evolving and intersex is just another expression our genes. 1 in 1500 is remarkable!
@25:00, I’m not intersex, but I have an aneuploidy, and my doctor knew, but didn’t tell me. It’s not their right to withhold information. Knowing is half the battle, and if we don’t know anything, we can’t “fight”. I paid for surgery, at age 15, to remove the unnecessary female parts, because I’m not female. My money, and my choice. I can relate to the people in your excellent documentary, but I don’t expect everyone to be able to understand.
30:00 such a good voice omg
1 in 1500-2000? That SO much more than is implicated
I was born with OT-DSD HERMAPHRODITE
God straight up said "no gender for you" to these people-
And this may not be the case, for everyone, but I think he is awesome for it. The more diversity the better!
Sorry but the title of the video just carries a very wrong conception about us.
I'm intersex and I don't know yet about any intersex person being born with "both sexes".
I'm gonna watch this video to see if you teach me something new about it, but my expectations are low.
Edited:
Ok, the documentary is far better than this unappropriate sensationnal title.
Most of the people interviewed are prominent intersex activists, and all of them sure know how to speak very brilliantly about their lives and what it is to be intersex.
So who chose this title for this film, and why?
If you see at about 1:36, I believe the title is actually just “intersexion.” Who ever uploaded this for Real Pride decided to title the upload, “What if You were Born with both Sexes?” I don’t know why. Maybe someone decided it might get more views? But I do know Real Pride is LGBTQ+ network so I imagine many employees are members of the community or allies. Respectfully, if you were not going to use the word “intersex,” how would you describe a person born with a combination of genitalia and/or reproductive organs? Presents as one gender at birth but actually has the chromosomes of another? Would this never be a combination of genders in your view? Simply a different gender entirely? I’m just curious nothing more. No argument from me whatever your view is.
@@ascent8487 I have no problems with the word intersex, I proudly use it since I know I'm aan intersex person - it's just the idea of being born with "both" that I find very misleading and renforcing some very common (I'd say hegemonic) misconception about the biology of sexuation, and the misunderstanding about the homology penis/clitoris, scrotum/vulva: to give an example, if you happen to be born with genital parts considered as small penis/big clitoris, and a partially fused vulva, you are not born with two genital systems. You have one "sex", but with parts that may have been considered as more or less typically female, and parts that may have been considered as male (- and here starts the gender panic and the social emergency!).
The word "sex" is confusing, meaning too many things.
To make it even more clear, I had heard about intersex fights for body autonomy and respect of basic rights for more than 15 years, and it had always been something I felt deeply connected with, but I had never felt legitimate and entitled enough to even try to learn about them, and to become at last an ally. I felt I would have been a complete fraud.
I took more than 15 years before I got to learn at least, by accident, the history of the concept, how it was built and what it meant, how social and political it was, the struggles around the word itself - because I listened to an intersex woman's testimony about the invalidation, unethical surgeries, shame and secrecy she had to deal with, in which, at last; I recognised for the first time of my life so much of my own history. It took this coincidence for me to start some serious research about what "intersex" meant, and to discover I was intersex. Before this event, I had a completely wrong idea about what intersex could mean- hermaphrodism, litteraly "both sex" simultaneously were the only ideas on the market in the 70's and 80's - and until two years ago, as I sure knew I never had more than one genital system, I was still believing I had to be something else even more socially ridiculous, secret and shamefull than being intersex might have been - i had no idea I was just experiencing to the fullest the effects of the social invalidation.
What I mean is - guetting to know we are intersex may be a very long way. Had I known earlier, I could have saved at least 15 years, maybe more, of shamefull and painfull misunderstanding about myself, I could have contributed to the community, and I'm quite sure so many of us are still dealing with some kind or another of misconception about themselves and intersexuation - thank to these more than 25 years of intersex fights, maybe less among the younger ones, hopefully.
I suppose it makes me prone to react to such a title, and to claim for a more accurate description. 2 years ago, reading such a title, I would just have not watched this video, thinking it would just have beeen another deceptive and triggering experience for me.
So... I guess my comment is not a matter of gender! - I always felt I was a man and never questioned it. It just took me to be 48 years old to learn that I was not a weird kind of isolated shamefull failure, but an intersex man, one amongst so many different intersex people.
btw, sorry for this very long response.
the title is clickbait. I fell for it. Watched the entire docu. I was shocked. Very uncomfortable. Slightly confused. But I learn something new. Imma person born with conventional biological parts. This docu taught me something new.
@metaldemort, I hope you will forgive me for my late response. Long story. I want to thank you for sharing something this personal. I’m sorry you had to experience years of confusion and I’m so glad you’re now on a path of better understanding of yourself. Blessings to you always.
@@ascent8487
Thanks for this comment.
I shared my story here because I felt that's what some other intersex persons may need to come across to undestand their - as it happened to me. I may never hear about them, and I'm ok with that.
Intersex seems too often to be such a heavily loaded word.
While the real thing is far more simple: intersex people are human beings!
So, I love learning about new things that I don’t know a lot about. I knew somewhat what intersexed was. As I was watching and learning new things I found myself blurting things out to my husband that I found fascinating and new. He was looking at me like I was crazy 😜 and finally asked me the the heck I was talking about. I said intersexed people or as they used to call it the “H” word (sorry I have no idea how to spell it. The man is 60 years old and I had no clue he had no idea what either word meant and had never even heard of such things. We were both surprised how much we really didn’t know. I promise I knew a heck of alot more than my husband. I’m so glad I found this in my RUclips feed💖💖💖💖💖
So I find one of the person in this films comments interesting.
He looks male, but with smaller genitals. He prefers woman but it was always uncomfortable for him being intimate with a woman because of having smaller genitals, so he went “gay” (being with men).
Interesting.
I don’t have intersex condition but I also feel uncomfortable being intimate as I have a colostomy bag. I feel pretty ugly sometimes and very insecure so I think I can relate. It’s extremely hard for me to open up about it. It’s dumb. I shouldn’t be ashamed. But unfortunately society has decided what we “should” look like. It’s sad.
When i met my husband i already knew that he had a colostomy bag because he was a friend of my sister. I haven't had a problem with it at all.
If someone really likes you they don't care about that at all! You're not a lesser person because of this!
@@Ariesmonique Yes that’s the way it should be.
So when I got the colostomy surgery done, I had already been married for about 9 years.
One night I was home and my stomach was hurting so bad and it finally became unbearable. Not wanting to bother my husband (he had to work in the morning) I somehow drove myself to the emergency room.
They did scans and X-rays. I had a bowel obstruction and needed emergency surgery. I woke up from the anesthesia with the colostomy and was in shock.
The next day after work my husband comes to visit me. I was scared to tell him but I said “well, they did it, they gave me a colostomy bag”…. right after I said that I went to lift up my hospital gown to show him but he shouted “STOP”!!!…. “I don’t want to see that shit”!!!
I was just shocked. Speechless. I stayed in the hospital another 10 days or so.. it gave me a lot of time to think. I never went back home. I moved in with my father and started the divorce proceedings.
Let’s just say my husband didn’t marry me for my personality.
Some of the people sound like they memorized a script especially the mountains story. He sounds very scripted.
The person Jen, everything she says she sounds like she is asking a question .
But other than those 2, This documentary is amazing. I am a mom to an intersex child and this helped me a lot. We dress our baby gender neutral and babies name is Gender neutral. But when we go out, people refer to baby as He. him...when we look baby does look male to us as well..
When the person said "no peehole" I was like wow so what did they do?
21:56 lol
Chromosome testing is a good place to start it these situations.
Some have mutated chromosomes, like xxy or xyy
Birth certificates should have intersex option and non-binary option and fill in yourself option. People should be able to change their birth certificate as they get older. Truth is parents and doctors aren't always right about each child genders it should be up to each individual to tell who they are and put it on their own birth certificate themselves.
one cannot blame the parents for making tough decision at point of birth. That moment must be tough. Parents would have to make that crucial decision.
Let the child grow up and let them make their own decisions of who they are because no one knows but the individual. There are Transgender kids who don't identify as the gender the doctor and parents told them they think the children is and then the birth certificate doesn't match who they really are on the inside. It's clear that the only one who know their own individual gender inside and out is each individual themselves unless they talk to Doctors to see what is the truth and only the truth when they are old enough to know who they are.
Tiger is hot. Y’all were thinking it too! Lol
Perhaps intersex people could our future. Might it be more advantageous for our species to break away from gender roles? Perhaps.
As an enby, I'm all for the idea of breaking away gender roles
Being intersex has nothing to do with gender roles. So no, not really.
now im worried :>
1 in 2000.... Sooo why is everybody judging about gender expression?
People should except people for who they are. It is so sad that they were ot born normal. We should gives compassion & more understanding of them instead of mistreating them. In Thailand, people excepted transgender people. They will call what gender they chosen to be. Thai people ate taugh to give compassions instead of bullies.
Our world is fullif surprises. Only now I learned that intersex people existed. I heard of transgender people. But never intersex people. After this doumentry I will go watch about 2 sex people. What happened to them? How they become having two sexes?
I think I"'d have *less* gender dysphoria than I do at the momemt.
It's rather interesting that a doctor or parent with an intersex child wou have surgery performed to have them fit what "they" think they are or "should" be but there's outrage when children themselves express they feel different from their genitalia and they are refused, at least by religious zealous parents and are sometimes put into conversion therapy? Seems like a double standard? They're playing God in one situation and using God to condemn in the 2nd. Why does their genitalia have to match? How come doctors can do surgery on intersexed children but those who identify as transgender, its no or grooming? That being said, surgery should wait until they're 18 or if they're emancipated. They just don't do "trans" surgery on minors! They must go through therapy, living as the sex they identify with and then at some point if they choose, they have surgery. The hormone therapy is done for a reason, but the surgery is never performed before they're legally adults.
Seems like it comes from religious people wanting things to conform to society standards. It's vile that they would do this.
I'm intersex
Me too
Mee too
It's no fun being born like that I agree they shouldn't be cut on either, I know it's an living hell to live like that then to get harrassed by others ,there is some that are kind about it and others are not
It'd be fine if they were raised as intersex and left alone
I'm a republican and understand your situation. If you want others to understand you then you need not judge republicans. We are people too
You are both so what
People are cruel..... Just leave the kids alone.
I loved this entire thing until the nonsense political insult towards republicans. Seriously we couldn’t get through a documentary about intersex without it? Sad.
When Republicans legislate against their very existence, you have to bring them up. How ignorant are you? Republicans literally hate these people, they write bills and pass laws that ban these people from changing their assigned gender from birth and force them into bathrooms they don’t feel comfortable in
@@marinamennear ummm, intersection and Trans ain't the same
@@NYD666 never said they were, but thanks for the unneeded lesson. If someone doesn’t think for a moment that intersex individuals aren’t seen in the same light as trans people to republicans they’re brain dead
Maybe that 's because the GOP are on the sexual identity & culture warpath against many humans anyway!!!
Exactly
Pride is a stinking sin. The virtue is humility
I thought the name for this was Hermaphrodite.
I thought it was mutant. Not a man, not a woman.
The old term was Hermaphrodite, it's been updated to intersex !
Skyjack mutant? Bro you are so horrible, show some decent common courtesy. I don’t think you’d like to be called a mutant for not having a “typical” body.
I read that as "hermit Aphrodite," the first time around.
@@skyjack8541 Not like they had any choice to be born like this shame on you
These are the only people that should be able to pick whatever sex they want to be.
Emily Quinn suggested it is 1 in 200 instead of 1 in 2000, it is an under researched topic though and statistics are different everywhere