Grief Expert: The Key to Overcoming Life’s Hardest Moments (With David Kessler)
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- Опубликовано: 11 янв 2025
- In this episode, John sits down with author David Kessler to have a conversation about grief.
Next Steps:
Learn more about David Kessler and resources for grief: grief.com/
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Dr. John.... you are so underrated! You have helped me immensely for FREE! I love that you take real calls from real people. Thank you
This^^ I’ve leveled up in understanding ❤
Amen! 1000%!
So appropriate for me today as the tears are like a river. My gal friend since 1980 died unexpected ly and I just found out last night. Holy crap.
@suzanne296 oh my goodness. I'm so terribly sorry. I pray for grace and peace 🙏🏿❤️
My condolences for your loss. ♥️🙏
The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
I’m so very sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs and prayers for peace your way. ❤
Did she take the jab?
“I think they have to be allowed to deny [being brought to reality] for a while.” 12:49
Wow. How beautiful. We often don’t give others the time and space that we would need if we were in their shoes. I’m saving this video for that line.
I lost my 20 yr old daughter 13 yrs ago in a tragic accident. It was devastating. But man. The blessings and perspective that I have received as a direct result of her loss have been incredible. As much as I miss her, I wouldn’t want to give the perspective and blessings back. I know where she is. I will see her again. But the only way we have made it through the incredibly hard loss is due to our faith in God and in the Savior.
Grief comes in so many forms. I grieved my sister’s deaths, mom, extended family and friends. Those losses are final. I also grieved losing my marriage, moving from friends, losing a career, my confidence was crushed. I couldn’t move. That’s where Jesus met me. He was and is all I needed. Life isn’t perfect, but it’s tolerable.
"Denial paces the pain." It's so true.
I grabbed a notepad and wrote that down. I did that about 3 seconds before he said he wrote it down on a notepad as well
My Mom died in 2022 and it gutted me. A few months after her passing I found David Kessler. He has helped me so much. Thank you for having him on your show. Love your show, John!
Sorry for your loss! My dad died on October 9th 2022
@ thank you. Sorry for your loss.
@@karenhultgren7810 thank you!
So so SO grateful two have my two favorites together like this. David Kessler, to me, is the "Mr. Rogers of Grief", and his books and resources have been instrumental in helping me, and so many others, along in my grief walk. Losing my 15 year old on Isaac to suicide last year, at 15 years old, was devastating. And, it is survivable with support, faith, therapy, and living one breath at a time. Fly high, ISAAC!
@jerryc1620 I'm so sorry 🙏🏿 ❤ I pray for continued peace and grace
Condolences. Much love through your journey of healing. 💙 I hope you think of him with a smile on your face.
@10:01-10:18 "Freedom is only found in reality...reality always wins"
This reminds me of how people are doing everything they can to stop/reverse ageing, and living forever
These are two great men that God has given to us❤
Thanks for bringing David Kessler on the podcast. I learned a few things and I can’t wait to listen to part 2 and read his book.
Thank you so much for this
My two 17&18 year old sons lost their dad brutally and unexpectedly in a tragic car accident two years ago on 12-8 😢
Your platform has been so helpful in guiding me to guide them as best I can as their mom
@ericahilton1504 I'm so sorry 🙏🏿❤️ I wish you and your family all the best
This was quality stuff!!!
I can't stand Dave Ramsey, but I really, really like John.
He did such a great job with not interrupting. As a fellow interrupting person, kudos to you, Delony! Bravo!
Wow. I have to say this is the most touching interview I've listened to in a long time. Thank you for hosting and sharing Dr John. So many beautiful one-liners that instantly made me cry lol. I will do my best to take all of these morsels of wisdom with me. I believe we will all need it in the coming few years. Thank you!
Trust your brain, it knows what it’s doing to protect you and allow the feelings bit by bit as you’re ready to process it. Each phase has its purpose and jut do what’s right in front of you, don’t plan things, don’t take care of other’s needs, just give yourself that grace to just be where you’re at.
Shoot... Thank you, this is true❤
Sorry, Shoop
Communication is not easy.
This is artful communication.
Excellent listening skills gents.
I am reading David’s book now, Finding Meaning The 6th Stage of Grief. I am on Chapter # 11. 👍🏻 The books stories will make you cry.
He just released a workbook that goes with the book. It's a good tool.
@10:52-12:42 this section where they are discussing being "strong" made me feel really seen and understood 🥹I don't want to be strong. Can I just be? 😭
Same! 🙇🏽♀️💜
I hate the phrase "be strong". Why? Why should be strong when my child died? Why can't I be a puddle on the ground. Others should be strong for you to hold you up in your grief!
@@SuperPrincessNancy absolutely thisss ❤
Absolutely love David Kessler. His work has been deeply impactful and meaningful to my life. I am so happy to see him on different podcasts!
I think is your best interview yet. It shows how much Dr John respects and honors Dr Kessler. Glad there’s a part 2!!!! You both have a killer, symbiotic flow in convo.
At 53:50 and following
…”I want to remind you of your greatness and see your pain”…
I hear what David is saying.
I have been there. When you are feeling hopeless and can’t see past personal pain
(failures/regrets)
it is crucial to have someone remind you that you “are more than that.”
My grandfather used to say to my loved one experiencing turmoil,
“this too shall pass.”
During the hardest time of my life in 2020 a social worker suggested Davids books to me and I've read them all a few times since, very helpful. So glad to see him on this show
I have lost 3 close members of my family within 6 months, time frame. First my brother in August 2023 from Cancer, my niece, in October 2023 aged 46, from Cancer, and finally my mum in January 2024.
I am finding all this grief overwhelming at times.
To cope, I have mentally put my grief in a box, and put this box high on a shelf, so I don't have to deal with all the hurt and pain. If I talk about them, I find I just cry.
My daughter tells me that this is not dealing with it, but in away it is my way of dealing with it.
Obviously, though, it's not really, as I get very emotional very quickly.
I think of them everyday, I miss their voices at the end of the phone, their love, their laughter, our times together.
I want to be able to think of them, without crying.
You are very new into the grief journey. The first year is hard, the second year is worse, and by the third year you can start to really deal with it. You WILL be able to think of them again without crying - you will instead smile remembering them. It won't be easy, but you will get there. The Compassionate Friends is a support group for parents who have lost a child, but some groups also have sibling groups. It is okay to cry - in fact it is GOOD to cry. Great pain, means you had great love.
Really needed to hear this this morning! Didn't think I was dealing with grief until listening. And this hit me hard for some reason "Until you can find it, I'll hold it for you. I have hope for you." Thank you for this show this morning! ❤
Great interview. David is such a knowledgeable man when it comes to grief and loss. The world is so fortunate to have him sharing what he knows about the grieving process. Thank you David and thank you John for what you do as well!
Oh my goodness. Never have I ever thought to bring my inner child along for the good times. Thank you!
What a great interview! I've been studying under David Kessler for the last year and he has so much wisdom to share. I love when John said, "This is graduate school for me."
This is brilliant. If we could take into what is said here into every fiber of our being we would be a healed nation. This is over the top good. Thank you for this.
Great guest...this is so timely and important! Thanks John and David.
Rebuilding after Hurricane Helene in WNC, this couldn’t have come at a better time for me.
My husband died at 46 and his mother turned on me after… blaming me for his death. The complex trauma from the way things went after he passed has left me in a state of numbness that I don’t want to break out of. But I know I have to
@Shoopes74 I'm so sorry. Please know it wasn't your fault. I pray your joy returns 🙏🏿 ❤
Sending you the light. 🙏🌞♥️
Complex PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker
The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma by Bessel Van Der Kolk
Self Love To Self Healing -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
You don’t deserve that selfishness from her shame on her she not your tribe ❤
@@jesusthewaytruthandlight7558 thank you. It took me a while to realize we weren’t on the same team. I had to go no contact. Best decision I’ve made.
@@reneeantwi-boasiako3974 thx. I was his advocate, fought for him for years through the illness. I think she just has the thought running that “if she had been in charge he would still be here.” But there’s no way that would have helped.
FINALLY! I've been waiting and waiting for a video from YOU on the topic of grief. ..thank you, Dr John
Awesome show!!! Listening to this guy is so eye opening and inspiring. Can’t wait for part two!!! Thanks for sharing this.
Each of your videos are amazing I love watching them all they really get me thru my whole day
I'm always judged for feeling grief for my kids being born with a genetic disorder causing intellectual disability. They judge because they tell me "You can't be sad because they are alive and living" To me, it's like a loss of the kids I dreamed of that were healthy and would grow up to be functioning adults in the world. It is a great grief.
David Kessler was an excellent guest. Great episode!
so true , my husband left me and my young son . my elderly mum said the exact thing you will have to be strong . that’s all i will ever remember …😢
Dr. John this was so good I shared it to my whole family and also to my church life group!
"freedom is only found in reality"
Freedom is only found in reality!!!! Reality is only found in the truth!!!! Facing truth can be so so difficult for us and so extremely painful but so incredibly necessary.
this is such a great talk and i’m really grateful you got together to record this for everyone to hear!
i am also someone who is able to take in a lot and remain balanced. i think it’s because i’m naturally aware. you look from a wide perspective and honestly, no matter what happens the world will keep going on as it has for billions of years before this - before you.
it’s absolutely not fine, but also everything is fine. seriously, everything is fine lol
This was absolutely AMAZING, I can’t wait for part two😭
This is incredible. I took SO many notes.
So appreciate the video.
Cheers to both of you.
✌️👏👏✌️
Giving back.
Thank you 😊
Face your emotions or they will follow you
When someone looks at an emotion wheel and finds many things they are feeling it’s because they haven’t sat with them and fully felt them like insecurities and feeling abused or feeling disrespected once you face the emotion and find out the truth you will have the choice to put it down and keep carrying it with you
I took this from what he was saying and think it will be helpful
Thank you.🦋
@13:26 I had the same reaction as Dr John 😅
Great job 👏
David Kessler is the best grief expert.
If I let go... it's really gone. It's hard to let go. Or feel like you're allowed to let go.
This year has been horrible for my family, my grandmother and father in law passed within 30 days of each other. After my father in laws funeral my husband of 18 years walked out and filed for a divorce. That was 7 months ago and I'm still trying to work thru the grieving.
Sunny your husband is a prick
If you're up early enough watching this, there's probably a reason for it. Something draw me to it
Dr. John, my wife passed away on August 11th 2024, we were married for 50 years and I feel like I have been cut down the middle by a buzz saw. I cry profusely every day and night but I do feel some relief after crying. How I wish I could join her in heaven. 💔💔
❤
@ Thank you 💔
I was told I love others to hard l. Not myself
Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant ♥️
Why are feelings necessary to be felt? Doing the journal/reflections from building the non-anxuoys life has me wrestling with the functionality of reflecting and trying to label emotions. Someone can say something that stings initially but we can choose to understand that their response is about them and their needs. They say yes to themselves, not nevessarily no to you. There should be a way to get intellectual knowledge to the body by passing emotions
Can you speak on the effects of the election results on mental health.
I’m sure you have seen the videos of people
Loosing it
Your fear, media, hyjacked your physique.
One nation under god..
Dr. John might speak on it later but these shows are delayed meaning this particular show was probably filmed about a month ago. They do this because Delony is not always available to do live shows due to his traveling/live events schedule.
@@doreen3763 I think it’s beer that hijacked my physique.
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I don't really blame people who panic. Lack of
information can be a big hurdle. I've been
making more than $200k passively by just
investing through an advisor, and I don't have
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people who panic.
Without a doubt! Kristine Lynn Weber is a trader who goes above and beyond. she has an exceptional skill for analyzing market movements and spotting profitable opportunities. Her strategies are meticulously crafted on thorough research and years of practical experience.
how would you recommend i enter the crypto market? I am also looking at studying some traders and copying their strategy rather than investing myself and losing money emotionally. What's your take on this approach? and How can i reach her, if you don't mind me asking?
I’m not special, and I know many parents have suffered through this … but no one will share or listen or dare to re-live the horrors of that day. Tackle this John.. na you won’t
Can you be more specific. I feel a little confused about your point. It's true most people treat the horrors with a 10 foot pole and are afraid to sit with someone who needs to process it. But there are people who will listen!
Ok please don't take this as a troll. Constructive only. I find a lot of value in these interviews John does. But, John's mic needs to be muted when the guest is giving an answer. He does this grunting agreement sound after every single phrase the guest utters. It is so distracting I can't hear anything but that.
I don’t hear that all. In fact, I think that would be wholly unproductive because Dr. John adds to the conversation in the middle when David Kessler was talking. There were specific points he wanted to highlight and I LOVED that he double clicked on that and didn’t just let it go. This whole interview was AMAZING!!!
I love his little active listening sounds! It's powerful and so real.
Do you have misophonia?
I know you guys mean well but this was not helpful at all. Some of it was almost insulting. Some of it made me feel guilty, like I didn't choose joy. It's not that simple.
I would suggest you watch again then because if that’s what you took away from this convo then you weren’t listening or taking notes like Dr. John said. This conversation was amazing and truly hopeful! ❤
Maybe be curious with yourself on WHY this conversation made YOU feel guilty because I think there is something deeper there!
This was such a good interview. It's sad to me that it makes you feel so bad about yourself that you can't see how beautiful the messages are.
Give us Jerry Springer... Not these "experts".
I know David Kessler and he is both an expert and a truly amazing, wise, kind human being.
@@DoctorJoanieTooland Doctor John Deloney has 2 PHD's to his name and years of practice at this. What are your credentials to judge their intelligence? Please
You don’t have to watch it. There’s a grace, and almost a feeling of freedom, in seeing something that you don’t like and going on past it.
Hey hey hey leave Jerry outta this.
There's this thing called "pushing the next" button. Instead of spewing some negative garbage about something you don't like, and thinking your opinion is universal fact, you can discern that it's not for you and move on. Because those of us who are choosing to stay and watch and enjoy this content find it valuable, interesting and quite helpful. So move-on Zach Warren, and know that your discernment to move-on does not require including your spewing some silly garbage in the comment section. 🦋
What sh
33:54 OMFG, THIS IS ME, to a TEE🙏🏼❤️
26:11 AMEN BROTHER, AMEN🙏🏼