I've been to approx. 15 speed dating events and my experience was "mediocre". It pretends upsides (like dating apps) but has various downsides which you should be aware of. People (also the women) are there for a reason and most of the candidates are not girlfriend material. As I was at the time, they come with a lot of unresolved social/relationship baggage and red flags. Even if you are lucky enough to match with the top 1-2 girls out of 9 and meet up you are usually dealing with a competition of at least 4 other men - even if she says otherwise. She may suddenly bounce if one of those other guys is more interesting to her - that doesn't do your self-confidence a lot of good! Nobody likes to go to a speed dating event, pay for it and don't select at least one girl. So there usually is a match. If not, you're really doing something wrong. But it is mostly a forced and unrealistic match. You probably wouldn't match with this particular girl but as there are just a few to select from and you want at least to increase the potential of this evening becoming a success, you put a checkmark on those couple of girls. After 1-2 dates you'll soon find out, she's just not for you. There are of course exceptions to the rule but I've met guys on those events that keep coming back even though they never had a match. For me it usually was 1 date to find myself asking why the hell I put a checkmark to her name ;-) Speed dating events have age ranges. So let's say 24-42, 36-48, 40-55. If you're 40 you have 3 groups to chose from. Which one will it be? Women put themselves in those groups where the chances are better for them. A 33yo will not put herself in a group with 20-something young girls and be beaten by biology from the start. She will probably opt for the 2nd group. You want to meet a younger girl and you choose the 1st group, you'll be sitting there with young chicks and young guys full of testosteron - the ultimate competition. In the 2nd group your chances are better but there will be a lot of women in there older than you and even older than 48 (because they don't see themselves in the 40-55 group). So there are less women to choose from. And it varies from event to event except for the 24-42 group which seems to be pretty consistent. The location where those speed dating events are held is important. A nice cocktail bar or something else with a romantic atmosphere helps. Especially if you don't have to change the venue in case you met someone nice. I've been to a speed dating event which was held at the breakfast restaurant of some 3-star hotel. The only event I went out with no checkmarks at all. Conversation. You have about 9 minutes to get to know a girl. That's not a lot of time and you better learn quick to use them. If you do a lot of the talking, she's losing interest. If she does the talking, she doesn't get to know anything about you and will not select you. Questions about work are boring and take a lot of time. If the girl is not your taste, those 9 minutes can be a drag. At one event I rotated to the next girl and she said. I know you from another event and you didn't select me (means: she selected me - otherwise she wouldn't know)... so there's no need for us to speak any further, she continued...haha. Those were some long 9 minutes.... I still think the direct approach on the street or in the supermarket is more rewarding than anything else.
This is some good food for thought. I have yet to try speed dating, but I am legitimately considering it after what you said. I also really like how you said that you should go there when you're in a good place mentally and emotionally. Not out of desperation. I never thought about it that way until now.
Really inspiring bro! Thank u for this talk! Im going to my first 2 speed dating events ever and im going with no high expectations just meeting people and see where it goes... and i agree with trying to becime a better person...
Speed dating is like blind dating technically. You don't know what to expect. You can be in a good place and be all positive but the selection of women that are there (for that day and for that moment) may not be your cup of tea. Avoid it, not worth it! August 12, 2022. USA. North America.
I've been to approx. 15 speed dating events and my experience was "mediocre". It pretends upsides (like dating apps) but has various downsides which you should be aware of. People (also the women) are there for a reason and most of the candidates are not girlfriend material. As I was at the time, they come with a lot of unresolved social/relationship baggage and red flags. Even if you are lucky enough to match with the top 1-2 girls out of 9 and meet up you are usually dealing with a competition of at least 4 other men - even if she says otherwise. She may suddenly bounce if one of those other guys is more interesting to her - that doesn't do your self-confidence a lot of good!
Nobody likes to go to a speed dating event, pay for it and don't select at least one girl. So there usually is a match. If not, you're really doing something wrong. But it is mostly a forced and unrealistic match. You probably wouldn't match with this particular girl but as there are just a few to select from and you want at least to increase the potential of this evening becoming a success, you put a checkmark on those couple of girls. After 1-2 dates you'll soon find out, she's just not for you. There are of course exceptions to the rule but I've met guys on those events that keep coming back even though they never had a match. For me it usually was 1 date to find myself asking why the hell I put a checkmark to her name ;-)
Speed dating events have age ranges. So let's say 24-42, 36-48, 40-55. If you're 40 you have 3 groups to chose from. Which one will it be? Women put themselves in those groups where the chances are better for them. A 33yo will not put herself in a group with 20-something young girls and be beaten by biology from the start. She will probably opt for the 2nd group. You want to meet a younger girl and you choose the 1st group, you'll be sitting there with young chicks and young guys full of testosteron - the ultimate competition. In the 2nd group your chances are better but there will be a lot of women in there older than you and even older than 48 (because they don't see themselves in the 40-55 group). So there are less women to choose from. And it varies from event to event except for the 24-42 group which seems to be pretty consistent.
The location where those speed dating events are held is important. A nice cocktail bar or something else with a romantic atmosphere helps. Especially if you don't have to change the venue in case you met someone nice. I've been to a speed dating event which was held at the breakfast restaurant of some 3-star hotel. The only event I went out with no checkmarks at all.
Conversation. You have about 9 minutes to get to know a girl. That's not a lot of time and you better learn quick to use them. If you do a lot of the talking, she's losing interest. If she does the talking, she doesn't get to know anything about you and will not select you. Questions about work are boring and take a lot of time. If the girl is not your taste, those 9 minutes can be a drag. At one event I rotated to the next girl and she said. I know you from another event and you didn't select me (means: she selected me - otherwise she wouldn't know)... so there's no need for us to speak any further, she continued...haha. Those were some long 9 minutes....
I still think the direct approach on the street or in the supermarket is more rewarding than anything else.
Garbage
The trick is to hang out after the event to see who stays!
I just want to step out of my comfort zone so I want to give speed dating a try.
I am more confident facing the girls than by message. I never tried speed dating but I should. Good reminder
This is some good food for thought. I have yet to try speed dating, but I am legitimately considering it after what you said. I also really like how you said that you should go there when you're in a good place mentally and emotionally. Not out of desperation. I never thought about it that way until now.
Garbage
Really inspiring bro! Thank u for this talk! Im going to my first 2 speed dating events ever and im going with no high expectations just meeting people and see where it goes... and i agree with trying to becime a better person...
It's garbage
Thanks for the idea Johnny!
Speed dating is like blind dating technically. You don't know what to expect. You can be in a good place and be all positive but the selection of women that are there (for that day and for that moment) may not be your cup of tea. Avoid it, not worth it! August 12, 2022. USA. North America.