Sexy Space News, And Cleveland's Big Baseball Blunder
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- Опубликовано: 28 окт 2021
- Stephen looks at the plans Jeff Bezos announced for a new International Space Station, and can't help but wonder what the heck the Cleveland men's baseball team was thinking when they changed their name to the Cleveland Guardians. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes. 
Развлечения
![Darren Waller - Who Knew (Her Perspective) [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/GytDjB8u6bM/mqdefault.jpg)
Mauritian here!! Never thought I'll hear Stephen mention my country's name.
Me either! I'm an American who's long wanted to visit your country and Reunion, where my friends in France came from
Have visited your beautiful country!
Frontier have just recently open, feel free to visit, summer is already here ☺️
So how badly did he screw up the pronunciation?
@@danielgehring7437 honestly, he nailed it. better than I expected 🙂
BTW, the Cleveland guardians is a coed roller derby team based out of Parma, Ohio. Keep up the good work Stephen, you helped me get through the nearly 6 years of trump world.
Hello from Parma!
He helped a LOT of us navigate through the levels of Trump Hell.
"... with a very special guest..."
Is it Evie?
"... It's Evie!"
Thanks Stephen.
I believe it's spelled 'Evvie'.
Nope! Its congress! You know? The people stealing our money and pretending like they work for us? You don't know what I'm talking about? *sigh*
We love you, Stephen Colbert. You keep us sane during these wack ass times
Jesus loves you so much please turn your life to Christ whilst you still can the rapture is about to happen anytime soon please repent of your sins
@@jordanteaa6486 will you stop it? No man knows the day or time of the rapture. You're being an idiot.
@@jordanteaa6486 Sorry this schizo ruins the name for religion folks. not everyone is like this maniac. this is what happens when you drink the koolaid. Id just say look into coincidences more in your life and you'll see how some or maybe most might not be coincidences at all. Namaste.
@@steverogers6572 You're right about coincidences. The really significant ones are called synchronicities, named by Carl Jung who believed reality itself is God (so do I).
@@dontaylor7315 You and I are on the right path it seems and thats all the proof i need really lol.
Funny thing is that the pope was smiling with the Bidens. Remember the face he had with the pumpkin??? LOL
Yeah, he looked kinda dead inside lol
totally the Universal Church has Good Knowledge - notwithstanding their mistakes. we are good spotting demons, and with exorcism. pray harée krishno !
God was telling the Pope that he was looking at a Anti-Christ wanna be and shouldn’t even touch him. So unclean that Holy Water couldn’t remove his sins.
@@darkstorminc can't say I blame him, if I ever had to meet the not-so-great pumpkin I think 'dead inside' would be the best possible reaction I could summon up short of punching him in the face (which if I understand correctly, is not really the pope's thing)
This was funny as always
Is there NO END to this man's talent???
“…to boldly go…” 🤣 I lost my hit! 😂
I love how Colbert refers to "men's baseball" and "men's football." It's subtle so I don't know how long he's been doing it, but it gets me smiling every time.
He missed an opportunity here through because (per their website) the Cleveland Guardians are a men's roller derby team.
“To boldly go….In Space News” HELL YESSSSSSSSSS COLBERT
God I love Colbert... Dude is a national treasure
Stephen didn't like the silence during the quarantine. I appreciated it. It seems they're LOUDER!!!
Stephen really looks ace in those aviators. He actually makes them look sexy-cool instead of niche. 😎
How are you, Ms. Colbert?
@@JoshuaWillis89
😄👏👍
@@JoshuaWillis89 Ha Ha! But I agree with her.
That wasnt Colbert silly. That was president Joe Biden. Hes on the show a lot these days. He just pops in and out.
@@williamcortelyou9072
😉
Depending on the value of those large LEGO sets, prosecutors say he could be charged with Grand Theft Lego
His Lawyers are *Piece-ing* together impenetrable *Defence.*
.
.
.
.
.
.
I can't believe I said that.....
Forgive me for I have puned.
😉
Jesus loves you so much please turn your life to Christ whilst you still can the rapture is about to happen anytime soon please repent of your sins
@@jordanteaa6486 shut up.
@@justjane2070 Save your breath, he can't hear you. People like that live in an impervious self-contained space hearing/seeing nothing but their own worldview (or actually someone else's worldview which they've internalized).
@@tomgraves6463 pp
See this is why I watch Stephen Colbert, he’s live on Friday’s and airs on Saturday mornings.
Congress golden parachutes.
Yes!!!! 🤣😂🤣😐🤣
It’s not cartoons like Bugs Bunny or the Smurfs, but life changes as we grow and I don’t remember doing this much LOL at Bugs. 😏
I really got into the quarantine closet shows. It's still weird hearing the audience again.
😂😂😂🤣yes
Lego-Trafficking ring, oh I wish that was the norm for news instead of the exception.
Star Wars puns are such Ewok in the park.
I like that one. Yoda man!
Force is strong with this one.
You shouldn't try to Force puns.... They are not the puns you are looking for :)
👏🤣
Always great to start the weekend with Stephen.
I need my daily fix of Stephen Colbert or I cannot function. I am glad that he gets to go on Vacay but when he leaves for a week it feels like a freaking month am I right or am I right
Always great to start the *day with Stephen.
@@deecohen1383 you are absolutely right! Same feelings here! There were days during the trump and covid era, in which the Colbert show was/is the only highlight of the day!
Definitely helps me keep my sanity.
@@deecohen1383 Yeah, you’re right!
“ Friday audiences you can hook the jumper cables up onto them” Colbert 2021
Extreme pandering.
Calling them "clean energy" was hilarious for a race of resource consuming waste producers constantly expelling carbon monoxide, methane & such. Nothing clean about us.lol
@@morbidmanmusic It's true though.
"Roller Derby Queen" by the late, great Jim Croce!
Van Bus We're onto your game. Find some flat earthers, they'll like your crap.
Yes!
Meanest hunk of women anyone has ever seen, down in the Arena, Uh, huh!
@@davidparker8221 round round round and round
That's when I fell in love with a roller derby Queen
Love your program, and thanks for making me laugh so much.
loved his Colbert Report so much more. it was way better then this show.
"Operation: MandalOrganized Retail Theft" was jake peralta on this case
Nah if it was Jake there would have been a Die Hard reference and the name would have made some semblance of sense
You joke Stephen but have you seen how insane Lego builders are? Put them in charge of American Infrastructure and....it'd still be better than what we got
Things are pretty bad, which he and the media cover up. It's not gonna get better. Everyone's taking a big loss with inflation except wealthy folks like him.
Shoot, you could let Harley Quinn design all of our highways and traffic would still flow better than it does on I-75.
HEY, not just derby guys, it is a mixed (co-ed) team!
6:30 So you're telling me the toilet was leaking urine onto fans, but nobody's throwing it in jail? ISN'T THIS WHAT WE JUST WENT THROUGH WITH R KELLY!?
No.
1:31 - i HEARD the glasses coming that time, lolol
SpaceX should hire Howard Wolowitz!
... Maybe he can program that robot hand he got stuck on...😏
Yep! A robot hand is all he needed!
@@masukuma Yup... Like the nurse said..."That's all you needed"...😃😄😃😄😃
My number one late night show.
Jon's outfit is 💯, loved the derby song guys 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Loved Legos and the roller derby song. You and your writers are wonderful.
LEGO
@@forgeustiss6667 I sense a jackal…
The roller derby song was my favorite part.
Congress golden parachutes.
LEGO bricks.
I love how Stephen says SPACE NEWS the way the Muppet Show would say PIGS IN SPACE. Good memories.
The best attitude and oh so witty!
Stephen brought that Gandalf lego from home.
In a world of struggles, I needed a laugh
Can we have daily clips of the band's commercial break songs? I love this band!!
Bezos’ space station’s artist impression looks like silhouetted women from a James Bond movie opening credits. The chance of Bezos being a Bond villain is an “All Time High”.
My grandpa smacked me when he noticed me watching the opening silhouette scenes of “For Your Eyes Only” on TBS. It wasn’t my fault his Atlanta Braves game ended while he was napping.
His obvious evil plans scare the Living Daylights out of me.
and that villain he’s aiming for is Hugo Drax apparently.
Bezos is Lex Luthor.
Incidentally, Trump is Gorilla Grodd, but before the super science that gave him hyper-intelligence and psychic powers. So just a giant ape smashing things...
Um not really a Bond villain more like a actual super villain 🧐
I finished my Pumpkin and took my evening medication at darn near the perfect time.
Me also girl.✌️😁sometimes,life is good.
We all sang with you! Thanks for posting the words and the bouncy-ball! 💋
I didn't sing, because it scares the cats. But I did grin along.
I am so glad I wasn't there
I did,for real...✌️
@@sophierobinson2738 That counts! 😊
We need that full roller derby song.
Well, roller derby has a song now!🤣😂🤣
Jim Croce’s Roller Derby Queen is my favorite.
I stayed awake for this. Worth it.
Samsies dawg
It always is!
For the first time, humanity has witnessed a big bang in space.
Congress golden parachutes.
This made me miss Midnight Confessionals, hope everyone has a fully vaccinated Halloween!
Thanks - just got my booster, am visiting my grandkids, I will!
@@carolynworthington8996 because it’s October it’s a Boo~👻~ster shot. 😉
finally I am free from my past, now I can be who I want to be!
Oh, the Pope looks waaaay more relaxed and happier than he did when he was stuck between the trumps. President and Dr. Jill Biden are just great people to be around. It's great to have positive role models representing our nation again.
@Alternative Headlines No, if you can't agree with this truth, the demented one is you, actually. :)
Well it's hard when you're stuck between Satan and his wife. I'm sure the Bidens make him a little more relaxed 🤪
@@brycecupp9660 Even Satan is ashamed of tfg and his escort pr0n wife. 😅
@Alternative Headlines My alternative headline instead of your comment is "You're quite right".
Lego trafficking? Well I am from Seattle and hadn't heard of this. Meanwhile we've had 3 murders by where I live. But Legos, yeah no.
Did they die of walking on Legos? That could be called murder if they were intentionally left out.
@@doloresreynolds8145 No. Guns.
Yeah, took the Seattle police years to bust the huge bicycle ring that we constantly told them about.. the criminal "store front" was three blocks from their station. No one could have a bike without it being stolen at least twice (after having to re-buy it from the shop). Oh, no one was charged in that, by the way. Got to love East Precinct.
(They suck when someone tries to abduct you off the street, too. Know this from personal experience. If you live in Seattle, buy a stun gun, and protect yourself .. and your Lego.)
Fun fact: on average, police solve 10% of property related crimes.
@@elenachristian9860 Frankly, I'm surprised it's that much.
They seem much more interested in ticketing you for a broken car lightbulb .. especially towards the end of the month to reach quota. Ugh. Serve and protect? Not in my 52 years experience.
Joh Batiste looking super sharp in that silk corduroy suit.
Oh-nay alarkey-may!
I used to play on a roller derby team. I bet on the derby team. They can kick the baseball team's ass. Derby players are TOUGH!
As a ref I was just taking that song apart :P Knees in groins would be a leg block, punching = forearm, backwards skating very much allowed, just not hitting backwards... and the bloody teeth would get you a medical out for at least three jams! I just love Roller Derby (L)
You tell them kiddo
Correction: it’s Lego bricks……. Oh shoot, wrong late night talk show!
🤣
I noticed in the comments, everyone is using correct term. We jackels know and learn🤓
The jackals get around! Love it
Mandalorganized retail crime. Hahahah. Cops are alright.
I say just change the name to the Cleveland Steamers.
I wish my siblings and I had Lego people when we were kids in the 60's as they are so cool.😎
I was a kid in the late 70s and my brother and I had Weebles. The tag line was, "Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down." The Weeble people and there village were my favorite childhood toy.
Fisher- price & weebles people were some of my favorite childhood toys plus all the farms, houses, gas stations, etc that the people came with. GOOD MEMORIES!!!
There were Lego in the 60s? I only remember Lincoln Logs and Erector sets.
The best Lego person is Jedi Bob, an extra generic Jedi that comes with some of the Star Wars kits.
It would have been hysterical if he dropped pieces of the lego man and they went skittering off somewhere. I lost a lot of lego for ages like that.
Congress golden parachutes.
A hack to find skittering lego pieces: walk around barefoot.
I was expecting him to make a joke about how you can't sneak up on them because their warning system is Legos strewn all over the floor for people to step on them.
@@adrianaheiler9794 honestly me too. Still funny though!
And the Bible says that in the end of days, there was an Angel man on earth that destroyed the Gods and Devil thrones and fixed the whole world, the earth father of that man was an immigrant with 4 kids and provided and cared for them for over 40 years. And the angel still feels lesser and weaker than him. Why?
Everyone knows the best place to get smuggled goods is Nar Shaddaa...
That was definitely Colbert's personal lord of the rings lego set.
FIX HOWARD WOLOWITZ'S SPACE TOILET 😏
👍🤔💙🤗🇦🇺
They did eventually fix it!!!
...and little Grogu catches his first bad guy. He'll make an amazing Jedi.
Pope Francis has been taking heat for more liberal views too, I don't think he'd have any problems with Joe Biden.
Please, those "liberal views" are just the Vatican's PR job. Hint number one; that same pope claiming that child-free couples (by choice or otherwise) are selfish.
"Whatever goes on up the hill's none o' my business." 😎😎😎😎😎
So proud of#46😎🇺🇸
😡
That mission name was *chef's kiss*.
Anyone with money like bezos has a moral obligation to help end homelessness in the world.
He’d have to develop morals for that to happen.
@@soupsgord You are on point with that one.
Don't hold your breath
Rule 303. Short version--If you have the ability, you have the responsibility.
people who chase that kinda wealth have zero interest in 'helping' anyone besides themselves.
Stephen this is a funny monologue but the end with The Guardians Vs The Guardians bit and Song parody had me laughing out loud.
Wow I love you Stephen colbert.and you sang that song so well,I enjoyed it
OMG Trevor is gonna be here 🙌
@3:29 I didn't know they made a Lego Billy Connolly.
But I TOTALLY want one now.
I'm going as Marjorie Taylor Greene for Halloween. All I needed for my costume was a blonde wig and a straight jacket.
Congress golden parachutes.
It’s The Flying Phallus, Mr Colbert.
Roller Derby! America's NEW Favorite Pass Time!
Yes. You can skate backwards! No, you can’t punch! We sell regular commercial snacks. 😉
My money is on the roller derby team!!
oh wow--whoever wrote the skate derby song deserves a raise and an emmy!! XD
So glad you have Evie on.
I'd love to know what a space plumber charges for a service call.
Bet it's out of this world.
I think he's doing it for his resume, to say he fixes fucked up plumbing that is literally shit that's out of this world
@@RealBradMiller - Howard Wolowitz
They are pricey but not as bad as you think; there's a lot of competition coming from around Uranus.
@@danielgehring7437 🤭👩🚀
Santa Claus is the real reason for the season. Its his feast from the 24th-25th.
"...to boldly go..."
Admittedly, that did take a second to catch...
I still haven't gotten it
@@beejumm_ it's a shit joke
You never cease to amaze me
That man can sure carry a tune!✊🏾😅
I love you Stephen Colbert for making me laugh when nobody and I mean nobody may be a bit of Seth Meyers can make me laugh when he does his corrections on Mondays and I love Fallon and Kimo’s well but you are my go to when I need to actually fucking laugh at something thank you
Jeff “Dr. Evil” Bezos should have called his rocket “Giant Me”. [Actually, “Maxi Me” is better, as suggested by a comment]
I have the impression, if it came to that, that he still would have called it “Mini Me”
Congress golden parachutes.
maxi me
I like THE big head, better....
@@vladtepes97 A
Oh so _that's_ why Amazon employees can't go to the bathroom until after their shift!
Assuming MRDA rules are similar to WFTDA rules, knees to the groin and punching are not allowed, but rolling backward is (as long as you mean that the player is physically facing the opposition direction, but still travelling in the correct direction around the track). You can shove, but it has to be with a hip or shoulder, not with hands, elbows, feet, etc.
You’re allowed to be traveling in the opposite direction in WFTDA… you can’t be PUSHING someone in the opposite direction, but you can, say, skate back to get with the pack, or to walk someone back after you’ve hit them off the track. There are lots of examples where skating in the opposite direction is totally fine as long as you’re not physically pushing.
@@abanabee Yeah, you're right. I had forgotten about that! Fortunately in my position all I really had to remember was the hand signals from the refs so I could announce why someone was going to the penalty box. ;)
Also, we missed the last two seasons due to the pandemic, so I've probably forgotten a lot
Really I felt like the show was ridiculing and misrepresenting the only sport that I actually care about and it kinda touched a nerve. It can be difficult getting new people to come to bouts, because they think that it's just spectacle, like pro wrestling on skates, and not a real sport. A massive platform like The Late Show can actually do us harm by feeding into the public misperceptions about roller derby. I love Stephen, but I wish the show had done a little research on this one.
@@master_moose any derby representation in this time of returning to skate is a start.
We couldn't pay for this kind of publicity.
So the officer who named the Lego operation skillfully named it after himself, MORT. Well done sir.
The scariest people coming to your door....yesss .
Why is knowing the Vikings were here long before Columbus considered news *now*? Archeologists have known about L’Anse aux Meadows, Newfoundland (a well known Viking site) and published the findings since the late 1970's. Heck most Canadians knew this info for many decades. Fun fact: Columbus never set foot on the North American continent. He discovered Cuba :P
No no no...
Roller blades, and actual blades!
Just when I think you guys can't get funnier you come up with the hockey skating ring song!! Loved the skit.
Rollie Derbers.
I would like to buy a hamburger.
DERBERS!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
To boldly go where no one has gone before - space x rocket program.
After years of watching The Drew Carey Show, how about naming the team “Cleveland Rocks”? (Better be quick, otherwise might have to call the team “Steamers”.)
Ooh I like that!
Cleveland Spiders was the name of their previous National League team. Unfortunately the 1899 Spiders were the worst team in MLB history. Still a better name than Guardians. The only advantage to Guardians is that they would only have to change one side of their shirts since the "dians" part is the same...
Damn boy you better have copyrighted that!
They could call themselves the Cleveland Shows. I don't think anyone owns the copyright to that one anymore.
I as not Cleveland also home to the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame?
Come on, Space station, needs to be named Babylon 1. Time to start it!
When the pope had to suffer through #Fake45's Vatican visit, Pope Francis looked angry and uncomfortable . He looked as though he couldn't wait to go soak his hands in holy water and bless the whole place. Melanoma stood there the whole time looking like a sombre Cruella. It was embarrassing.
Is it weird that the lego bit gave me a terrifying idea for a horror movie?
That song is so much better than the original, though. I would take that deal. lol
Kids got it easy these days. Back in my day, Lego was just bricks and nothing else. No wheels, no people, no nothing! (Yes, I’m jealous.)
How old are you? LEGO Minifigures have been around since 1978, wheels since 1962.
Makes him at least 62. You know, one of those 62-year-old Futurama fans.
You know you can order these online
And Green Lantern was the name of our favorite pizza place back then, too. The pizza place is still around, same as Lego’s.
Congress golden parachutes.
Best one ever.
Love this show.
this show is so special it literally makes my eyes water
With the audience, it's like a child's birthday party. A feedback loop. It was more sincere, when he was alone.
I actually miss the covid Stephen ! So funny 😂
Poor Cleveland baseball will lose their trademark fight.