Autism & Gender Identity - Autigender? Learning to be Autistic Episode 11
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- Опубликовано: 1 июл 2024
- Here's the site I was reading from - lgbta.fandom.com/wiki/Autigender
/ dana_._andersen
/ danaoandersen
carryonbeautiful.com
ko-fi.com/danaandersen
Just got diagnosed as autistic like an hour ago and I have too many feelings to put into words! I always love watching your videos because they help me evaluate who I am and ask myself questions I wouldn't have otherwise thought of.
In response to this particular video: I really relate to not understanding what gender is or how it could be important. I'm fully supportive of people exploring gender identity and using whatever label they choose, because in my opinion it's all made up anyways. It just never seemed to be something that mattered or affects how I view the world. Though I tend to view labels as tools to communicate how other people should classify me, rather than reflections of my own identity. Even my new autism diagnosis was pursued so I could have better tools to understand myself and that's the closest thing I have to a labeled identity. I guess I really struggle to think that any words could accurately reflect my internal experience so it's kinda pointless to try and find them. Everyone around me just assumes I'm female cause that's my sex, but I feel about as connected to that as I do any other gender identity. Which is to say not at all lol.
Congrats on your diagnosis first off! I like the way you view labels, definitely something I could do with picking up from you. I think because I spent so long being labelled, and to some degree labelling myself, as ‘weird’ and ‘different’, I really like being able to have a label to put to the various parts of who/what I am. Your comment has made me realise I’m probably putting a little too much importance on being able to label myself when it doesn’t really matter so much!
Ya same, as a Autistic person, I identify as Non-Binary/Agender Flux (changes daily depending when I feel like I have a gender or not)
You described my experience so well. I AM a girl, but I don’t really FEEL like a GIRL. I’m very detached from my own gender
Man, I was diagnosed 20 years ago when I was 10 and a whole lot of what you said here still resonates strongly with me. I'm perfectly comfortable with being referred to and identifying as a man, but never put any stock at all in what is considered masculine or feminine. "What does it mean to be a man?" Who the hell knows, and who the hell cares?
I can relate to this a lot. I’ve been questioning my gender recently. I’m questioning whether I’m demigirl or non-binary and it is confusing. From my reading, non-binary isn’t exclusively a lack of gender, agender is and is under the non-binary umbrella.
I absolutely thought I knew more about the term non-binary before making this video, I’ll be sure to do more research before making anything like this in future rather than after! I still definitely feel like being autistic plays too much into my gender to identify as non-binary, but there’s definitely a lot more to the non-binary umbrella that I’ll benefit from learning about!
From what you said I definitely could believe you are non-binary. Non-binary is a large umbrella that can encompass any gender not strictly man or woman. You can identify as both autigender and non-binary. Use whatever labels are comfortable and help you communicate to others. Also, it's also fine to just vibe and not use any specific label.
As I was watching, I kept yelling"YES! Someone else understands!" I am 51 (officially diagnosed at 38), and I have never felt that I fit into traditional gender roles defined by society. When my own two kids (21 diagnosed and 19 self-diagnosed) told me at different times that they were a Demigirl (21) and trans (19), and what did I think, my answer was, "I don't care what you identify as, to me you will always be Sarah and Makoto. You have your individual personalities and categories don't affect how I think of you." They were both fine with it, and it hasn't come up since. But, sometimey younger child will use a different pronoun for themself, and it feels weird because it goes against 17 years of them being different. It has nothing to do with how I feel about them (I love both my kids with all my heart and soul and that will never change), but it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks.
As to Autigender, I believe that many autistics can relate to the term since we always feel out of place among NTs.
This is relatable
I heard about it from Jreg's gender tier list
Yes! When I first learned the concept of gender being a social construct, I thought it made soooo much sense. We made it all up! But then... while that could account for *some* of the dysphoria experienced by people who don't fit with the gender they were assigned at birth, it certainly doesn't explain it all. And so I'm left trying to figure out what it means to "feel" or "know" one's gender - and whether or not I can.
I experience gender as something as something entirely exterior to myself, and is (sometimes) part of the persona that I construct to interact with people. But as an autistic person who had no idea of my autism for over 40 years, I have a lot of learned behaviours that I have used to mask and camouflage, and a lot of neurotypical expectations that I've learned to cope with - many of which I find annoying or uncomfortable. Gender is just one of those things, along with others like small talk and social hierarchies.
So autigender it is!
I don't even know where to begin with pronouns. I probably would never adopt new ones, personally - because I'm used to the ones I've always used. Just like I'm used to saying "la chaise" and "le livre" in French.
gender NORMS are a social construct while gender itself is a spectrum of masculine and feminine traits relating to but not the same as sex, dysphoria is just a disconnection between those physical traits and the ones your mind feels you should have
Nice to know I’m not the only one who gets confused by gender the way I see I it is I’m male but that doesn’t mean I can’t like things that the other genders like do what makes you happy no matter what gender you are
I don't think the types of clothes you wear, your personality, or whatever should be called “gender”. Being a transwoman or a transman is way more than that, it is a diagnosable condition related to your body named gender dysphoria. Creating all those labels doesn't help anything. It is just creating a huge mess. For example, if we are talking about behavior stereotypes I would 100% relate more to men, but I was born female and I don't have gender dysphoria, so why should I claim that I am anything else than a woman? What does feeling like a woman even mean if it isn’t about the body? The biological differences between the sexes will always exist and play an important role in our society and that is not bad. For me, this whole thing of 1000 genders is only reinforcing stereotypes.
Of course, I am always open to changing my mind if I am proved wrong.
(by the way, English is my 3rd language so if there is any mistake in grammar or punctuation, I am sorry!)
yeah, as a man that gets called gay a lot, well today I wore pink translucent sunglasses, but yeah, I kinda wish I was bi or something, but it's just not happening. I'm more simular to lesbians in cultural affinities and attitude than anything else. Which makes for confusion on who to date, NT girls don't seem fully appropriate and bipolar women are hard long term. And ones on the spectrum are a hard small target demographic here in the states, the ones that are clueless about it, undiagnosed I really feel aren't appropriate either.
I could be wrong and it’s purely my opinion, but I think a lot of people really overthink who to date! There’s so many people out there that are all so unique, i think thinking ‘I need x type of person’ puts a big block on who you may get to meet/date, when there are lots of people who may not be that type of person but would be incredibly understanding and lovely to date.
Having said that, I know I’ve gotten very lucky in regards to dating and relationships and not everyone has had the good experiences I’ve had, so I may just be biased! Either way, I hope society wakes up enough soon to stop thinking any man that isn’t super masculine is gay
Have you seen the genderbread person picture. it is quite explanatory 🙂
if you don't feel strongly like a girl/woman, you're not cis, cuz that's what being cis literally is.
Also!!! being nonbinary does NOT mean we don't have a gender (that's agender which does fall under the nonbinary umbrella but its NOT the same thing). nonbinary just means you don't feel entirely or strongly like a man or a woman. so from what you describe of not liking being described as a woman and not feeling entirely like one, you would fit under the nonbinary umbrella if you chose to identify that way. p.s. not all trans people experience gender dysphoria and we don't just transition because we hate our bodies. a lot of us don't hate our bodies, we just hate the way our bodies are perceived by society and know that we would feel better (more euphoric) in our bodies and in society if we transitioned whether medically legally or socially
Female standards, male standards. Just _be._
Me: 99%.
That one person is trans.
But not transgender, but more like transsexual - so I feel as the opposite sex ina physical way. But the gender that describes me the most is autigender.
Thank you for another video that teached me something!!