And with the app story, keep in mind it only detects physical attractiveness. Just imagine how low the brother would rank if his personality was accounted for in the ranking
@@lorilancaster5917 I think Op should give the girls a list of all the guys who mocked them. Either parents are going to want to step in because sharing the information with the girls can be seen as a form of bullying, and they don't care if it hurts, or maybe an older brother or two wants to have a talk with them.
1. The op IS an only child. The sister was adopted out. Officially, legally, she is NOT op's sister. Only biologically they are 'related' but that is the least important part of any bond. It's emotions and experiences that make a family. The op's parents are as delusional as people who keep trying to force blended families with step-siblings. Forcing things most often makes people into obstacles or hurdles, things to avoid or make navigating life more difficult. And who can bond with a burden they don't want?
And subject a woman who gave birth about two months ago, and may had a c section but who knows, to forfeit her bed and sleep on a mattress on the floor just because he doesn’t want to fork over money for a hotel.
Story 1: NTA, your parents are delusional... The reason your "sister" went NC with you all is because your parents refused to accept reality and kept breaking the boundaries she and her adoptive parents set.
This is exactly what happened. I have no doubt bio parents tried to insist they were called HER parents when she wasn't comfortable with that. The bios are AH.
Exactly. Nobody would go 'set yourself on fire to keep others warm' except the person benefitting from that ill-gained comfort. If I were the OP and the resources were there, I'd 'compromise' by making the living room sofa a pull-out bed option one. Then when they visit, they get the 'comfort' of the living room and can shush. But I bet they'd complain about the lack of privacy.
story 1: tell me OP's parents are abusive narcissists whose golden child is the adopted-out sister, without telling me they're abusive Clusters of Bees.
Story 4: OP what you just described is theft, contact the bank and report the fraudulent transfer, also change your passwords and do not tell your parents, oh and don't save the password on your phone.
Thankfully in the update OP did this except for filing a police report. While I don’t agree with it, I do see why she chose not to. Hopefully OP moves out soon
These stories remind me of what the science fiction author Spider Robinson said when his daughter was born: "We do owe our parents a debt. The invoice reads 'Pay to the next generation.' "
@@lorilancaster5917 if op gives in once they are gonna expect it every month and dad might see it as a oke to dock a part of their pay because 'you owe us' and they will still be asking for money even after op moved out.
@@nancyomalley6286 well you have to understand that the brother is her "baby boy", her favorite. As her favorite he's just doing the standard "boys will be boys" thing so it's really no big deal to mommy.
I wonder how close by the sister lives. Perhaps she can host them. Alternatively, OP can offer a compromise. They help pay for a different sofa. A pull-out bed one. That will be kept in the living room. Then guests will have a comfortable sleeping option without inconveniencing their hosts by taking up a full ROOM.
When I was a newborn originally my sisters each had their own room while my nightowl dad shared his den with me. He got very tired of having me stare at his back until he went to bed. My sisters ended up sharing a room with me getting my own room and my dad got his den back.
Story 1 INFO: Do OP's parents realize that adoption is different from childcare? You don't just give up a child for adoption and after all the heavy lifting is done, expect the adoptive parents to give the kid back. I'm surprised that the adoptive parents didn't put a stop to the nonsense OP's parents were spewing.
Story 1: Your parents really need to get therapy. They gave up their daughter for adoption and she is happy with her adopted family, and has no interest in developing a relationship with the couple who gave her up for adoption. The bio parents need to accept that🙁 Story 2: I can see why your brother scored a 4.5 on the app😒 Story 3: If a family member, or friend, doesn’t like the sleeping arrangements you’ve offered, they can always go to a hotel😒 Story 4: I hate parents who steal money from their children and then justify it by talking about how much they have supported their kids over the years. Of course, they took care of you, you’re their kid! Your parents made the choice to have a kid, so they were legally obligated to take care of you. Lock down your money and work on moving out on your own😢 Story 5: Unless there are biological children involved, there is no reason for exes to be continually contacting one another😒
And open adoption doesn’t mean that the adoptive parents are just a placeholder for when the bio parents want the kid back. The girl, and everyone else for that matter, need to move forward
@@nerdygeekgamer5528 and would they have rather OP inform the girls impacted in their “game” about what the brother and friends were doing? With what OP did, brother will be embarrassed for a week tops. If OP let the cat out the bag, brother would be a pariah at his school.
The story 1 parents clearly have something wrong with them, whether a personality disorder where they're severely lacking in empathy, or a shared mental illness where they are severely lacking in empathy. Therapy would have to be geared to someone inherently lacking in empathy, or it would not work. And even that is iffy, as those who are in denial about their syndromes will not improve with therapy.
And it sounds like her dad is being cheap. Even if OP had the room, he should still stay in a hotel since there is a baby still developing a sleep pattern in the home.
i understand part of their stance, Im in my mid 40s and would have difficulty getting off a mattress on the floor due to a bad knee. A sofa bed in the office would be great for guests to sleep on and a comfortable place to sit while working
Umm, OP"s parents think it is okay to critique girls' looks using the app, but it isn't okay to critique boys' looks. And the parents are only worried about damaging their son's confidence, but don't care if he does the exact same thing to girl's he knows. So bullying is okay as long as it doesn't happen to my perfect baby. Parents need to raise men not little babies who don't know how to behave.
42 years ago my then gf and I gave up a newborn daughter. We received 2 letters from her parents, then no more. Haven't heard from her, don't know if she's still alive. Writing this is getting me emotional. I want to see her and I don't. The thought of her being disappointed in me hurts almost as much as missing her.
Tell your Dad if he's going to throw a hissy fit because he thinks he needs a room more than you need a job, or your baby needs it's own room, he's welcome to invite you over instead. Then make sure you give him an honest critique of his hosting.
'Old people can't get up from the floor'?? Then stay in a hotel??? I would not be willing to be inconvenienced for 358 days a year bc someone wants a bed in my home for 7 days.
I do believe it is dependent on health issues but there are no mentions of that and even then he is sleeping on a proper mattress so it should be easier
Mad hotel Dad-100% sure it would never cross my mind to purchase/arrange my family's home with an eye to future hosting of overnight guests or my value as a "hostess."
Story 4: There's a word for what your parents did and it's theft. You are a legal adult. They can demand rent or throw you out but they can't just up and take it from your account. It's not "their money", no matter how many times they tell you it is.
Last story: NTA. So he and his ex are on the outs and he's keeping op in his orbit because he and his ex are keeping their options open. Let him go. That kind of behaviour won't improve, even with straightforward communication.
1) These parents are idiots to tell OP such BS about the child they gave away and try to push their agenda of one big happy family that she loves and wants them. I feel so sorry for OP to have these defective and damaging parents. OP NTA, and should just get away from them as soon as possible and go NC. 2) This is sad and disgusting, those using the app this way are despicable. Good for OP recognizing this and calling it out. Bro got what he deserved and shame on these parents, they are failing in their duty to raise decent human beings. Kudos to OP for raising themself right. NTA. 3) Having an office to be able to comfortably work and earn a living makes more sense than having an infrequently used guest room. OP's father is a selfish AH, entitled, rude, and unreasonable to complain about this change and think they need keep a guest room for the small amount of time he would be there. If he is old and disabled and sleeping on a mattress on the floor would be difficult for him then they should maybe get some kind of hide-a-bed sofa or a Murphy bed for when he visits if they wan't him to stay at their place. 4) Sorry OP is living in this situation, but glad to hear they plan to move out soon. OP needs to go to the bank and tell them the money was stolen and file a police report, change their account and keep it out of their grasp. No, do not give in to get along. Get the money back and move out. After update: I'm glad OP took advice to get the bank to stop any further transactions. 5) OP should recognize he is still in a relationship with the previous girlfriend and as OP should not be ok with this. He is being inconsiderate to OP and shady. She needs to end this relationship, get away now and move on.
Story 1: NTA. OP's parents are gonna wind up dying alone if they keep forcing him into including the child *they* gave up after she cut contact with them. It'll be the funniest irony if OP's sister one day reaches out to him if she learns he's cut contact with her bio-parents. Story 2: NTA. OP should've rated their brother _and_ his friends and shared everything with the girls at his school before sharing it with the family. If it's good for the goose, why not the gander? A bruised ego is better than a big one. He should look into self-improvement anyways, nobody's gonna want someone who's ugly inside _and_ out.
Story 1. They seem to be emotionally stunted at the age they gave her up for adoption. They need help to get past this and stop holding OP hostage to their regrets.
Father - How dare you prioritize a home office that helps pay for you and your family's life over infrequent guests. You can't offer people something you don't have or can't afford to have. There isn't an extra room fairy who grants wishes.
Story 1. OP’s parents need serious therapy-although I don’t think it will help. They are so deep into their delusions, it may be past the point where therapy will do any good.
Story 4: NTA. For the simple reason that they did not deal with her in good faith. Respectfully ask and lay out the concern. She likely would've been receptive to that. That is not what happened. They are the exact kind to avoid. Bad faith and entitlement form the start, and leverage is the only thing that would ever change that dynamic.
They were straight-up WRONG. In almost all of the civilized world, minors own their own property/money. The only time parents can keep something is if that is joint ownership, like an account with both their names on it or something contract-based that requires a guardian/parent to co-sign. In all other cases, the minor owns their property/money. The parents/guardians can only confiscate something temporarily, with the NEED to return it in as close to the same condition as possible as when they took it, with the final deadline being the time the minor becomes an independent adult. (exceptions apply to stuff with legal agreements to be given later, such as a trust-fund which comes with rules and regulations against mis-use) The only thing that can extend the deadline for power over financial and physical resources is if the minor becomes an adult who stays dependent due to severe developmental issues and there is a legal guardianship arrangement.
I hate these entitled comments that act like people are just made out of money like with the father story in staying at the apartment. Then let the father stay at your place you hypocrites And the second story about the rate women shot remind me of a part from the movie the social network where Mark was also doing the same thing, rating girls, but at least they were college girls
Office Space: I'm wondering why someone who already said he'd get a hotel feels the need to insult his former hosts. If the hotels are too pricey, that's not the way to go about restoring your invite.
1: if she's 27 she's probably graduated college got married and had kids by now and unless they're social media stalking her they don't know any of it since she cut off these obsessive psychos at 18 what stories are they telling, kindergarten dance recital, middle school play, braces, freshman homecoming, since that's all they probably have they're obsessed with a fantasy they did nothing wrong the fact they haven't gotten the hint they scared off any relationship and are pushing away the child they have will have a surprise a couple years down the line when they realize they have no kids they're just as bad as parents who make all the living child's events about the dead child
Filing a police report against your parents because they stole is the right thing to do BUT not the wise option when they control your job and housing. So if you are ok with being homeless and without a job then file a police report.
Thank you I see only downsides for op in going to the police. Even with what they have done what if parents decide they now want op to pay rent, or reduce their wage, I see no upside for op here whatsoever.
This is a situation I understand pretty well. My parents had me young and my grandma used the court system to make sure my bio dad wasnt allowed to see me. While my mom was alive, I've been told that she disregarded it and let my bio dad visit/babysit but she died when I was 7 and I was raised for 7 more years by my step dad who I saw as my dad. I had a little brother who was my brother. I didnt even remember my bio dad. When my dad died my grandma used the fact that my bio dad existed to try to void my dad's will that we go to my paternal grandparents, so it all came out and caused a lot of trouble. My half sister messaged me shortly after, excited to finally meet me. Apparently my bio dad had raised her and her brother knowing who I was with pictures of me over the house amd this idea that I would come back and we'd be a family. I'm not upset with my bio dad or younger half siblings and I spent some time with them, but my half siblings were upset I didnt call my bio dad "dad". He wasnt my dad, I had a dad and I have a brother. I'm not opposed to them but I didnt grow up with them. They arent my immediate family, even if my immediate family is either dead or no contact at this point.
You know I've only just heard about your grandmother, but if I'm understanding what you've typed correctly I think I hate her. Like legitimately hate her
@jaredstar xDD I have complicated feelings, but she certainly was uh... not a great person. A lot of people think she had to be in the mob or something when I tell them about some of the stuff she pulled.
Story 1 I'm wondering if the parents was forced to give up their daughter because they had her to young and was raised by the adopted parents and the bio parents never got over having to give her up. Yes they do need therapy to help
The only thing I woul suggest about the couple with baby & ops dad visiting is maybe get a futon for the office. The one comment is right. Not everyone can do a matress on the ground. Op not filing a police report really makes me angry. I hope they change thier mind.
Home office: NTA. "You visit four days a year, if that. We work from home 5 days a week." The YTA comment about giving up the master bed for an elderly guest is INSANE. I guarantee they never let a guest sleep in their bed while they slept on a floor mattress, or worse.
It feels like there's some details missing in the last story. Are any of the ex's kids his? Did she help him through something traumatic? Her desire to be able to randomly access his phone is also a red flag for her. Healthy people who feel like that's the only way to keep trust, leave the relationship.
Geez your parents are nutters, once your 18 get away to college and distance yourself from them. You deserve better and so does the sister that was adopted. I can’t imagine these inputs trying claim me when I had my adoptive parents. Run as soon as you can.
Last story: Every single person I’ve ever been with knows better than to hint that they would leave me for any reason, because I’d jump on that and be OUT. OP needs to learn her value. Her boyfriend would respect his ex’s partner’s wishes, but not hers? That should be it for OP.
First story: this is how I think the parents want OP to be all the time: “I hope you enjoy dinner, we made meatloaf and mashed potatoes” “The daughter my parents gave up for adoption loves meatloaf…I think, I don’t know her food preference because my parents signed away their rights when she gave her up for adoption and she never actually lived with us. Did I mention I have a sister that my parents gave up for adoption?”
Why did the comment feel the need to point out that the classmates are underage? Brother is also presumably underage. Like, basing a person's value on their looks is bad regardless but that comment adds creepiness that isn't part of the story.
On Story 3, the last comment on the story, the commenter sounds like Ableism Ageist. I'm 65, & I don't consider myself old, or decrepit. I can still get up from the floor without any issues. People are different, and age differently. No need to assume the parents are decrepit as well. The parents only visit 2 weeks out of the year. Depending on where they are from, there may still be a sense of Familial Hierarchy from their Culture, which they still believe their daughter should still exhibit. Makes me wonder if the parents still have a guest room for their kids when they visit. NTA. On the last story, OP should contact the partner of the ex-GF to find out if he knows that the ex and her BF are still exchanging messages. I am betting that he does not know this. NTA, and time to leave.
Story 4 So were the parents wrong yes, is all the advice to op that is here also wrong yes. Let’s see op is 18 and works for dad, let’s say op does push and file a police report here is what will happen, 1st the parents will say something along the lines of she agreed and because of the report they give op the money back. 2nd op will be kicked out, remember they are 18 so they can kick them out, 3rd op will suddenly either be unemployed or find their wages are alot less than they used to be. Oh or op’s parents could ask for rent. Can anyone point out a positive for op going to the police here?
Mathew 7:1 Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again
The only issue I would have with the rating story is the double standard. Cuz you guys all know for a fact that if this was the other way around it would be no big deal because this is actually what women do. All the damn time you guys judge people rate them all this shit. Don't be running your mouths about what others are doing when you're equally guilty in other ways.
The app story i dont get it. Asside from the fact girls do it to they are just less obvious about it what was the point. What was the guy doing that was so wrong. I mean its juvenile yeah but it aounds like the op just wanted to create drama and then wanted reddit clouth witch she got. Either she stand by her little passif aggressive plan or she doesn't this isnt a aita thing unless you just want approval
S1) I wish nothing but bad things on that girl that got adopted out. Her parents made a difficult choice and she crap all over them for it. I hope she never has kids
Wow! You're pure EVIL! The daughter never did anything wrong! OP'S parents are obsessed and delusional about a daughter they no longer have. But they refuse to accept that she is someone else's child. They even tried to feed that delusion to OP, but he got the real message and backed off.
The parents have gone off the deep end. If you plan to keep your sanity intact. Dip out and live your own life. It’s not that much different from the parents always cramming the memory of a deceased child down your throated to the point of neglecting you in favor of thin air
You don’t have to feel grateful for them providing for you That was their choice You didn’t ask to be born They chose to have you Such a guilt trip it’s moronic If you fall for it Do you know what that makes you?...... a door mate
"...your ugly brother..." Brutal and hilarious.
Whoever says the OP with the home office is TA needs a reality check.
And with the app story, keep in mind it only detects physical attractiveness. Just imagine how low the brother would rank if his personality was accounted for in the ranking
@@lorilancaster5917 I think Op should give the girls a list of all the guys who mocked them. Either parents are going to want to step in because sharing the information with the girls can be seen as a form of bullying, and they don't care if it hurts, or maybe an older brother or two wants to have a talk with them.
Personality wise, Brother would be about minus 5!
Story 2: BAHAHAHAHAHA OP I AM LAUGHING SO HARD RN 😂
Those who are always dishing it can NEVER take it. Lmaoo
1. The op IS an only child. The sister was adopted out. Officially, legally, she is NOT op's sister. Only biologically they are 'related' but that is the least important part of any bond. It's emotions and experiences that make a family. The op's parents are as delusional as people who keep trying to force blended families with step-siblings. Forcing things most often makes people into obstacles or hurdles, things to avoid or make navigating life more difficult. And who can bond with a burden they don't want?
op is an orphan.
They messed up two kids. Bio daughter figured out they are nuts.
“Old people can’t get off the floor”
I guess no one told my 70 year old dad that…
That's awesome. I've seen 50 year olds who can't do it.
Tell that to my late maternal grandpa. Lived to year 79, never had trouble getting off the floor.
73 here and I'd have no issues with sleeping on a mattress on the floor during a visit 😊
and he is not on the floor, he is on a proper mattress not even a air-mattress but a proper one XD
I had an 80 year old grandpa who couldn't get off the floor.... the dance floor that is. 🎉🎉
He can afford a hotel, that's the best option. I wouldn't want to sleep in my married kid's bed.
And subject a woman who gave birth about two months ago, and may had a c section but who knows, to forfeit her bed and sleep on a mattress on the floor just because he doesn’t want to fork over money for a hotel.
Story 1: NTA, your parents are delusional... The reason your "sister" went NC with you all is because your parents refused to accept reality and kept breaking the boundaries she and her adoptive parents set.
Thw story made me think of "Who's Afraid of Virgina Woolf?"
sounds like they had hoped op would be a girl but instead they got a boy and then they wanted the daughter they could not keep back.
This is exactly what happened. I have no doubt bio parents tried to insist they were called HER parents when she wasn't comfortable with that.
The bios are AH.
She went NC because the parents dumped her for no good reason but kept OP.
Guest room/office story: the YTA commenter had to be OPs dad
That commenter should shut their trap
Exactly. Nobody would go 'set yourself on fire to keep others warm' except the person benefitting from that ill-gained comfort. If I were the OP and the resources were there, I'd 'compromise' by making the living room sofa a pull-out bed option one. Then when they visit, they get the 'comfort' of the living room and can shush. But I bet they'd complain about the lack of privacy.
That is what I was thinking.
I'm a 63 yo woman. I'd be fine with a mattress on the floor if it meant I got to spend time with my family.
I'd put money on it!!
Story 5: OP, he isn't talking to his Ex, he is texting with his girlfriend, you are his side piece.
story 1: tell me OP's parents are abusive narcissists whose golden child is the adopted-out sister, without telling me they're abusive Clusters of Bees.
Story 4: OP what you just described is theft, contact the bank and report the fraudulent transfer, also change your passwords and do not tell your parents, oh and don't save the password on your phone.
Thankfully in the update OP did this except for filing a police report. While I don’t agree with it, I do see why she chose not to. Hopefully OP moves out soon
These stories remind me of what the science fiction author Spider Robinson said when his daughter was born: "We do owe our parents a debt. The invoice reads 'Pay to the next generation.' "
@@lorilancaster5917 if op gives in once they are gonna expect it every month and dad might see it as a oke to dock a part of their pay because 'you owe us' and they will still be asking for money even after op moved out.
@@velvety2006 and as I said, I would hope OP would file a report but that’s not our call
People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. See my post
The brother seems like he has that 'the rules apply for you but not for me' thinking. He can use the app on others but how dare anyone use it on him.
So does the mom!
@@nancyomalley6286 well you have to understand that the brother is her "baby boy", her favorite. As her favorite he's just doing the standard "boys will be boys" thing so it's really no big deal to mommy.
Story 3: NTA, you need your office, as you work from home. Your father is ridiculous, and your sister is just enabling his ridiculousness.
And even if OP had the room, the dad should stay in a hotel to give the new family some space.
I wonder how close by the sister lives. Perhaps she can host them.
Alternatively, OP can offer a compromise. They help pay for a different sofa. A pull-out bed one. That will be kept in the living room. Then guests will have a comfortable sleeping option without inconveniencing their hosts by taking up a full ROOM.
When I was a newborn originally my sisters each had their own room while my nightowl dad shared his den with me. He got very tired of having me stare at his back until he went to bed. My sisters ended up sharing a room with me getting my own room and my dad got his den back.
@@Eppon6 No no you don't understand that's why she feels op should have given up the office she does not want naggy dad at her house XD
Story 1 INFO: Do OP's parents realize that adoption is different from childcare? You don't just give up a child for adoption and after all the heavy lifting is done, expect the adoptive parents to give the kid back.
I'm surprised that the adoptive parents didn't put a stop to the nonsense OP's parents were spewing.
In some countries, it’s difficult to get out of an open adoption.
Selfish? Your own house and how you keep ot is exactly the place to be selfish. It's completely yours!
Story 4: Theft. Period. Children do not owe compensation for their parents' LEGALLY REQUIRED SUPPORT OF THEIR MINOR OFFSPRING.
Story 1: Your parents really need to get therapy. They gave up their daughter for adoption and she is happy with her adopted family, and has no interest in developing a relationship with the couple who gave her up for adoption. The bio parents need to accept that🙁
Story 2: I can see why your brother scored a 4.5 on the app😒
Story 3: If a family member, or friend, doesn’t like the sleeping arrangements you’ve offered, they can always go to a hotel😒
Story 4: I hate parents who steal money from their children and then justify it by talking about how much they have supported their kids over the years. Of course, they took care of you, you’re their kid! Your parents made the choice to have a kid, so they were legally obligated to take care of you. Lock down your money and work on moving out on your own😢
Story 5: Unless there are biological children involved, there is no reason for exes to be continually contacting one another😒
And open adoption doesn’t mean that the adoptive parents are just a placeholder for when the bio parents want the kid back. The girl, and everyone else for that matter, need to move forward
I don't understand why AI rating systems for people exist to begin with it's like they say if you can't stand the HEAT stay out of the KITCHEN
@@nerdygeekgamer5528 and would they have rather OP inform the girls impacted in their “game” about what the brother and friends were doing? With what OP did, brother will be embarrassed for a week tops. If OP let the cat out the bag, brother would be a pariah at his school.
The story 1 parents clearly have something wrong with them, whether a personality disorder where they're severely lacking in empathy, or a shared mental illness where they are severely lacking in empathy. Therapy would have to be geared to someone inherently lacking in empathy, or it would not work. And even that is iffy, as those who are in denial about their syndromes will not improve with therapy.
Story 3: OP is not the A-hole. Dad can stay with sister if she agrees with him.
And it sounds like her dad is being cheap. Even if OP had the room, he should still stay in a hotel since there is a baby still developing a sleep pattern in the home.
Father being mad about the office story: that YTA commenter is ignorant and I bet is also a hypocrites
i understand part of their stance, Im in my mid 40s and would have difficulty getting off a mattress on the floor due to a bad knee. A sofa bed in the office would be great for guests to sleep on and a comfortable place to sit while working
Umm, OP"s parents think it is okay to critique girls' looks using the app, but it isn't okay to critique boys' looks. And the parents are only worried about damaging their son's confidence, but don't care if he does the exact same thing to girl's he knows. So bullying is okay as long as it doesn't happen to my perfect baby. Parents need to raise men not little babies who don't know how to behave.
42 years ago my then gf and I gave up a newborn daughter. We received 2 letters from her parents, then no more. Haven't heard from her, don't know if she's still alive. Writing this is getting me emotional. I want to see her and I don't. The thought of her being disappointed in me hurts almost as much as missing her.
I'm so sorry!! I wish you could see her,and have an amazing relationship! 😢
Tell your Dad if he's going to throw a hissy fit because he thinks he needs a room more than you need a job, or your baby needs it's own room, he's welcome to invite you over instead.
Then make sure you give him an honest critique of his hosting.
'Old people can't get up from the floor'?? Then stay in a hotel??? I would not be willing to be inconvenienced for 358 days a year bc someone wants a bed in my home for 7 days.
Guaranteed the dad or the sister is the YTA commenter!
I do believe it is dependent on health issues but there are no mentions of that and even then he is sleeping on a proper mattress so it should be easier
Story 2: NTA and OP's parents are enabling bullying.
Mad hotel Dad-100% sure it would never cross my mind to purchase/arrange my family's home with an eye to future hosting of overnight guests or my value as a "hostess."
Story 2: Next step is putting the parents into the app, bonus points if they score more than the brother.
I was imagining how the parents would react if one of the girls' parents slapped their kid with a harrassment lawsuit.
@@condorboss3339 forget the parents just have one of them have a big brother/sister who wants to have talk with them XD
Story 4: There's a word for what your parents did and it's theft. You are a legal adult. They can demand rent or throw you out but they can't just up and take it from your account. It's not "their money", no matter how many times they tell you it is.
Last story: NTA. So he and his ex are on the outs and he's keeping op in his orbit because he and his ex are keeping their options open. Let him go. That kind of behaviour won't improve, even with straightforward communication.
And best to do this now than before moving in together or any other next steps. OP is just a full time plan b gf
1) These parents are idiots to tell OP such BS about the child they gave away and try to push their agenda of one big happy family that she loves and wants them. I feel so sorry for OP to have these defective and damaging parents. OP NTA, and should just get away from them as soon as possible and go NC.
2) This is sad and disgusting, those using the app this way are despicable. Good for OP recognizing this and calling it out. Bro got what he deserved and shame on these parents, they are failing in their duty to raise decent human beings. Kudos to OP for raising themself right. NTA.
3) Having an office to be able to comfortably work and earn a living makes more sense than having an infrequently used guest room. OP's father is a selfish AH, entitled, rude, and unreasonable to complain about this change and think they need keep a guest room for the small amount of time he would be there. If he is old and disabled and sleeping on a mattress on the floor would be difficult for him then they should maybe get some kind of hide-a-bed sofa or a Murphy bed for when he visits if they wan't him to stay at their place.
4) Sorry OP is living in this situation, but glad to hear they plan to move out soon. OP needs to go to the bank and tell them the money was stolen and file a police report, change their account and keep it out of their grasp. No, do not give in to get along. Get the money back and move out.
After update: I'm glad OP took advice to get the bank to stop any further transactions.
5) OP should recognize he is still in a relationship with the previous girlfriend and as OP should not be ok with this. He is being inconsiderate to OP and shady. She needs to end this relationship, get away now and move on.
Story 1: NTA. OP's parents are gonna wind up dying alone if they keep forcing him into including the child *they* gave up after she cut contact with them. It'll be the funniest irony if OP's sister one day reaches out to him if she learns he's cut contact with her bio-parents.
Story 2: NTA. OP should've rated their brother _and_ his friends and shared everything with the girls at his school before sharing it with the family. If it's good for the goose, why not the gander? A bruised ego is better than a big one. He should look into self-improvement anyways, nobody's gonna want someone who's ugly inside _and_ out.
Story 1. They seem to be emotionally stunted at the age they gave her up for adoption. They need help to get past this and stop holding OP hostage to their regrets.
Father - How dare you prioritize a home office that helps pay for you and your family's life over infrequent guests. You can't offer people something you don't have or can't afford to have. There isn't an extra room fairy who grants wishes.
Story 3: It's none of crap dad's business what OP does with her home. Should uninvite him. And that last commenter needs to mind their own business.
Last commenter is Dad or Sister!
S 1: I bet those were the type of bio's that would tell the daughter to call THEM mom and dad and that they are the EAL parents.
most people don't have guest rooms. that is a first world problem.
Story 1. OP’s parents need serious therapy-although I don’t think it will help. They are so deep into their delusions, it may be past the point where therapy will do any good.
Story1: they already gave up one daughter and now throwing away the son too
Parents stealing their kids' money pisses me off. Keep your clothes on it you don't want to provide for your children
Story 4: NTA. For the simple reason that they did not deal with her in good faith. Respectfully ask and lay out the concern. She likely would've been receptive to that. That is not what happened. They are the exact kind to avoid. Bad faith and entitlement form the start, and leverage is the only thing that would ever change that dynamic.
They were straight-up WRONG. In almost all of the civilized world, minors own their own property/money. The only time parents can keep something is if that is joint ownership, like an account with both their names on it or something contract-based that requires a guardian/parent to co-sign.
In all other cases, the minor owns their property/money. The parents/guardians can only confiscate something temporarily, with the NEED to return it in as close to the same condition as possible as when they took it, with the final deadline being the time the minor becomes an independent adult. (exceptions apply to stuff with legal agreements to be given later, such as a trust-fund which comes with rules and regulations against mis-use)
The only thing that can extend the deadline for power over financial and physical resources is if the minor becomes an adult who stays dependent due to severe developmental issues and there is a legal guardianship arrangement.
Story 1: They're going to lose their only child
I hate these entitled comments that act like people are just made out of money like with the father story in staying at the apartment. Then let the father stay at your place you hypocrites
And the second story about the rate women shot remind me of a part from the movie the social network where Mark was also doing the same thing, rating girls, but at least they were college girls
1. Delusion is in vogue now a says, your parents are just a different flavor. NTI but there is little hope in breaking them out of the delusion.
Office Space: I'm wondering why someone who already said he'd get a hotel feels the need to insult his former hosts. If the hotels are too pricey, that's not the way to go about restoring your invite.
Story one: the adoptive parents are her parents
growing up most my friends and family just had us sleep on the pull out couch
Story 1 mmm I wonder why both children don't want anything to do with them...
Merry Christmas XO🎄🎄🎄🎄
1: if she's 27 she's probably graduated college got married and had kids by now and unless they're social media stalking her they don't know any of it since she cut off these obsessive psychos at 18
what stories are they telling, kindergarten dance recital, middle school play, braces, freshman homecoming, since that's all they probably have
they're obsessed with a fantasy they did nothing wrong the fact they haven't gotten the hint they scared off any relationship and are pushing away the child they have will have a surprise a couple years down the line when they realize they have no kids
they're just as bad as parents who make all the living child's events about the dead child
Filing a police report against your parents because they stole is the right thing to do BUT not the wise option when they control your job and housing. So if you are ok with being homeless and without a job then file a police report.
It seems he realises that for now at least
I hope OP just moves out asap and then files a police report.
Thank you I see only downsides for op in going to the police. Even with what they have done what if parents decide they now want op to pay rent, or reduce their wage, I see no upside for op here whatsoever.
regular texting. deleting messages. dude your the side chick
This is a situation I understand pretty well. My parents had me young and my grandma used the court system to make sure my bio dad wasnt allowed to see me. While my mom was alive, I've been told that she disregarded it and let my bio dad visit/babysit but she died when I was 7 and I was raised for 7 more years by my step dad who I saw as my dad. I had a little brother who was my brother. I didnt even remember my bio dad. When my dad died my grandma used the fact that my bio dad existed to try to void my dad's will that we go to my paternal grandparents, so it all came out and caused a lot of trouble.
My half sister messaged me shortly after, excited to finally meet me. Apparently my bio dad had raised her and her brother knowing who I was with pictures of me over the house amd this idea that I would come back and we'd be a family.
I'm not upset with my bio dad or younger half siblings and I spent some time with them, but my half siblings were upset I didnt call my bio dad "dad". He wasnt my dad, I had a dad and I have a brother. I'm not opposed to them but I didnt grow up with them. They arent my immediate family, even if my immediate family is either dead or no contact at this point.
You know I've only just heard about your grandmother, but if I'm understanding what you've typed correctly I think I hate her. Like legitimately hate her
@jaredstar xDD I have complicated feelings, but she certainly was uh... not a great person. A lot of people think she had to be in the mob or something when I tell them about some of the stuff she pulled.
Story 1 I'm wondering if the parents was forced to give up their daughter because they had her to young and was raised by the adopted parents and the bio parents never got over having to give her up. Yes they do need therapy to help
The only thing I woul suggest about the couple with baby & ops dad visiting is maybe get a futon for the office. The one comment is right. Not everyone can do a matress on the ground.
Op not filing a police report really makes me angry. I hope they change thier mind.
Story 1: What miserable failures of parents.
Story 1: These parents are going to lose both their children.
Home office: NTA. "You visit four days a year, if that. We work from home 5 days a week."
The YTA comment about giving up the master bed for an elderly guest is INSANE. I guarantee they never let a guest sleep in their bed while they slept on a floor mattress, or worse.
Office
The home os for the homeower. You ise the office 90-100% of the time. Guests show up, like what, 2% of the time. Pure guest rooms are a waste.
Why be with someone you do not trust. Just leave.
Who thinks a new baby would not have affected the bedroom arrangements in a home?! Dont let him come.
S1 they gave the kid up then changed their minds they didn’t care about any of the kids op cut them off total ah people .
Story 5: Dump him. He's bot trustworthy at all.
It feels like there's some details missing in the last story. Are any of the ex's kids his? Did she help him through something traumatic?
Her desire to be able to randomly access his phone is also a red flag for her. Healthy people who feel like that's the only way to keep trust, leave the relationship.
Geez your parents are nutters, once your 18 get away to college and distance yourself from them. You deserve better and so does the sister that was adopted. I can’t imagine these inputs trying claim me when I had my adoptive parents. Run as soon as you can.
Story four: Call the cops and file a report for theft. Mom and dad are crooked AF.
Last story: Every single person I’ve ever been with knows better than to hint that they would leave me for any reason, because I’d jump on that and be OUT. OP needs to learn her value. Her boyfriend would respect his ex’s partner’s wishes, but not hers? That should be it for OP.
First story: this is how I think the parents want OP to be all the time:
“I hope you enjoy dinner, we made meatloaf and mashed potatoes”
“The daughter my parents gave up for adoption loves meatloaf…I think, I don’t know her food preference because my parents signed away their rights when she gave her up for adoption and she never actually lived with us. Did I mention I have a sister that my parents gave up for adoption?”
Why did the comment feel the need to point out that the classmates are underage? Brother is also presumably underage. Like, basing a person's value on their looks is bad regardless but that comment adds creepiness that isn't part of the story.
He isnt done rebounding. Hes still attached. Break up.
4: you are not smart. Shoulda been like I have zero dollars!!
4.5 😂
4:29 ah the origins of FB relived.
YOU DON'T MAKE YOUR DAD SLEEP ON THE FLOOR! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?
office story, maybe invest in a sofa bedfor the office for guests to sleep on?
Story 1: NTA
Story 2: NTA and op isn’t in the wrong.
On Story 3, the last comment on the story, the commenter sounds like Ableism Ageist. I'm 65, & I don't consider myself old, or decrepit. I can still get up from the floor without any issues. People are different, and age differently. No need to assume the parents are decrepit as well.
The parents only visit 2 weeks out of the year. Depending on where they are from, there may still be a sense of Familial Hierarchy from their Culture, which they still believe their daughter should still exhibit. Makes me wonder if the parents still have a guest room for their kids when they visit.
NTA.
On the last story, OP should contact the partner of the ex-GF to find out if he knows that the ex and her BF are still exchanging messages. I am betting that he does not know this. NTA, and time to leave.
Story 4
So were the parents wrong yes, is all the advice to op that is here also wrong yes.
Let’s see op is 18 and works for dad, let’s say op does push and file a police report here is what will happen, 1st the parents will say something along the lines of she agreed and because of the report they give op the money back. 2nd op will be kicked out, remember they are 18 so they can kick them out, 3rd op will suddenly either be unemployed or find their wages are alot less than they used to be.
Oh or op’s parents could ask for rent.
Can anyone point out a positive for op going to the police here?
Sounds like cate and tyler from teen mom
Story 2 commenter: That isn't what the Bible says.
Mathew 7:1 Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again
Story 3: NTA and how is op in the wrong
Hi XO
Photo ranking story - like women and girls don't do the same thing - ranking guys.
They don not insert their pictures into apps and put them into lists. 🙄
@@LoveK1 Really? You don't think that the same type of thing goes on?
The only issue I would have with the rating story is the double standard. Cuz you guys all know for a fact that if this was the other way around it would be no big deal because this is actually what women do. All the damn time you guys judge people rate them all this shit. Don't be running your mouths about what others are doing when you're equally guilty in other ways.
The app story i dont get it.
Asside from the fact girls do it to they are just less obvious about it what was the point.
What was the guy doing that was so wrong.
I mean its juvenile yeah but it aounds like the op just wanted to create drama and then wanted reddit clouth witch she got.
Either she stand by her little passif aggressive plan or she doesn't this isnt a aita thing unless you just want approval
S1) I wish nothing but bad things on that girl that got adopted out. Her parents made a difficult choice and she crap all over them for it. I hope she never has kids
Wow! You're pure EVIL! The daughter never did anything wrong! OP'S parents are obsessed and delusional about a daughter they no longer have. But they refuse to accept that she is someone else's child. They even tried to feed that delusion to OP, but he got the real message and backed off.
Go back to school your comprehension skills are severely lacking
Your answer to your father: Are you kidding me?
The parents have gone off the deep end. If you plan to keep your sanity intact. Dip out and live your own life. It’s not that much different from the parents always cramming the memory of a deceased child down your throated to the point of neglecting you in favor of thin air
You don’t have to feel grateful for them providing for you
That was their choice
You didn’t ask to be born
They chose to have you
Such a guilt trip it’s moronic
If you fall for it
Do you know what that makes you?...... a door mate
Report them to the police