TRUTH About late Murphy & the debt...What happened to the Nigerian Widow!!
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- Опубликовано: 25 авг 2024
- TRUTH About late Murphy & the debt...What happened to the Nigerian Widow!!
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I am a Bini woman. When a man dies, the widow is compared to take an oath to prove her innocence. After the burial, the widow is expected to mourn her late husband by sitting on a bare floor for 7 days., eat from the same plate unwashed during this period. She is not to wash her hands and not to Bath. In the 7th day, she will be taken out in the middle of the night to a secluded area, she will have to go alone, and wash herself.
That is groase I can't imagine how one can sit in a bare floor I mean eat from the same plate not bath what if you get periods I'm sure they will also ask you to eat the dirty pads this is sickening I can't understand how the family will do such evil id rather go back to my martenal home I won't do that rubbish
This is crazy. No woman should marry a man from your tribe.
That's not true am a Benin woman too I never heard of such lies,
Oh no, men from your place need to come with a disclaimer… if their widows gotta go through all that. That’s a lot….
That’s a very WICKED tradition!!! 🤮
My late mom really had it tough when my dad passed. Long story, but when my dad passed, his brothers swung into action. On the day we were to leave for his burial, the ambulance was packed on the side and a lorry was also packed close to the ambulance. They proceeded to clear the flat and no single pin was left. The lorry was filled to the brim. My daddy's bank account and property documents in the east and Abuja, were also confiscated. He did not have a son and so I was not entitled to anything, they said. After the burial, my late mother and I left the village with cellophane nylon, nothing else. Back in Aba, we slept in her friend's restaurant, or an open church. Thankfully, her shop rent was still running, so I used to have my bath inside the shop with a big basin, before going to school. Whew! Like I said, very long story that hurts so much, I just scratched the surface. I do not know of other places, but some practices in Igboland are pure evil
I'm from Delta urhobo to be precise. Every child male or female is entitled to his or her inheritance. Even if you are a bastard. As far as that man's sperm fertilized ur mother's eggs you must collect your share of properties.
True
You poor dear! I pray things work out better for you to show them that even though you were oppressed, it turned out to be the beginning of better things for you.
@@fatimamohammedbello3632 Ameeeen 🤲🏾 I fervently pray so too. Thank you so much
@@PrinceLaw-iv6rb Wow. As it should be
This said African tradition is mainly for women and not the men. Men dont go through this whole tradition brouhaha when they lose their wives ..I know the untold hardship & trauma my mother went through when i lost my dad(her husband).
Though my mom had to put her foot down and say NO, when it came to me bc they insisted I go through some rituals as an ADA & also shave my hair...but my mom SAID NO!
Drinking the water used to bath a dead spouse is where I draw the line. Barbarism at its best.
What is wrong with these people and have the audacity to brag about the culture.
I am not opposed to tradition. However, I feel that
in Nigeria , the burial customs always lean towards a widow experiencing a lot of suffering upon the death of her husband, which I am yet to see happen to men.
#true
Who do you think made up these ridiculous traditions, MEN of course.
If a loan should die because the debtor died, that means everyone owing the late man should also be forgiven.
I love how you broke down the different cultures. African cultures aren't barbaric, cultural competence is a concept that we preach as social workers. I agree that some traditions should be scraped or reviewed. I think most African traditions target women.
So, cannibalism isn't barbaric?
A loan should not die with the decess but could be brought to the attention of the family for payment after the funeral.
Neze, for the last weeks my family and I have been watching your videos non stop. Babe...you are such a great story teller. I work from home in the US but as I work I listen to you and OMO I now am up to date on some happenings in Nigeria.
Well done sis you are good. Anytime I enter Canada, I got to see you my sister. I was also in PH when in 9ja. You make my work more interesting cos I listen to you while I work well done sis.
Its my understanding that in Islam, the question is actually asked! It is asked, if the dead owes anyone or anyone owes the dead, you should come forward and speak. My late older sister's tailor who is Muslim, showed up at the door, days after she heard she had passed on , with a bag filled with, sewn, semi-sewn and unsewn fabrics! I was shocked. Upon asking how much she was owed for the sewn fabrics, she said she forgave that part! Paid her condolences and simply left. WOW!!!!
SO it seems the woman did no wrong
In some funerals it is brought up. Now or never.
@@mumcy100 true
Yes that is how it is done in the muslim culture. If a deceased owes you you have to bring it up to the family same way if you owe the deceased. Now it’s up to you to forgive what he/she owes you present your condolences and leave.
You are so beautiful Neze I am a South African and I love the way you keep me informed about Nigeria. I'm learning a lot from you
What she did is very good for Murphy to rest in peace. I expect my loved one to ask whoever I owe to come forward at my funeral and pay all my debts , even thou as a muslim- I should have a list of my creditors accessible to my loved one, which they must pay, except the people i owe let it go
Exactly you will be pampered for three months after that u will name ur child and bring the baby to the people ❤
Enough love from Ghana 🇬🇭
It's a matter of conscience. I had a person I loaned $3,000. Even though I was still struggling then in the States. I let it slide as heaven is my witness. I never mentioned it to his family or otherwise till today.
Point of correction: Yoruba is not a local dialect. It's a language, just like Igbo and Hausa etc.
Dialect are various form of Yoruba language, which is influenced by the part of Yoruba land that one comes from.
Neze, she is right. Why? It is a known fact that when a Muslim dies, his debts owe to him, and the one(s) he owes must be settled before he can be interred. To that extent, the lady was right in her move to recover her money. It's a sharia thing.
But how do they know if they lying or not? Does that mean anybody can just make a claim? Is there a way to be sure?
The fact is that the python or snake doesn’t harm the indigenes because it doesn’t see them as a threat
In Zimbabwe... its a crime to kill a python as well because a python is symbolic to the ancestors
Neze as man I'm and one your followers here in Australia 🇦🇺 i would like to say this our culture should stay and remain as it is no change as needed we are not from west and we will never be period
You're totally rocking that look Neze, it could easily become your signature look!🔥🔥🔥
Love your hair Neze. You look stunning mama❤️
In the Akan tradition (Ghana and Ivory Coast) that question will be asked during the funeral and the family and friends will payback everyone the deceased owns.
It's religion thing tho
Always very explicit and on point. I always look forward to your analysis ❤.
She said she worked for him and has not been paid and Islamically that is how its supposed to be ..durring the funeral people will be asked if the dead was owing dem or if they were owing the dead so it can be paid and the soul of the dead can rest in peace.
Facts
I'm just curious to know if there's a way to be sure if the claim is true or false
@@pixiedust6630 yh it will be investigated he must have told someone
In Zimbabwe they ask also if anyone is being owned by the deceased ,I think its African tradition and thrz nothing wrong in that in my opinion, hi neze ❤❤ lots of luv from Zimbabwe
She didn’t say that she lend Murphy. She said “owo ise” meaning work related money.
It is well with Murphy’s family. May he rest in peace. Amen
Years ago I attended an African Film Festival and viewed an excellent movie based in Mali called 'Sia and the Dream' about a similar tradition that prohibits harming Pythons. Not enough black people attend.
At least this tradition is not about making her a widow forever or harming her. It’s so she can continue with her life smoothly without any problems
Traditions consists of good and bad ones.they only become bad when it hurts someone,deprives them of their happiness,life threatening leading to death or diseases.the good ones might as well be many.
Someone coming up on a burial and mentioning such means she had experienced alot already
Good morning ma. You are my sister. God bless you Amen 🙏
It is okay to raise the debt early because same family will doubt her if she had chosen to wait until later to disclose the debt. Debt shouldn't die with the death of a person. If the creditor decides to forgive the debt that should be a personal choice or decision.
I agree with you
On Murphy's case. It is also a standard in Islam that when a person dies, the family is expected to enquire about all the people he/she owes or those owing the deceased to clear the debt before he/she is buried except those involved WILLINGLY reject the repayment. It is believed that if the debts are not cleared, the dead person won't be able to transit into heaven. So, if it is found out that he was actually owing the lady this money, they have to pay her in the interest of the dead since the lady has asked for refund of her money. And it goes the other way too. Anyone owing the deceased is expected to pay the family whatever owed the dead. Some Islamic people even keep a book where they record such transactions to guide the family in case of their passing.
OMG, I've been planning to watch some Murphy Afolabi movies, he must have starred in over 100 or 200 movies . He's one of my favorites and I had no idea that he'd passed. May Allah be pleased with him and grant him Paradise.🤲🏽 I remember I was called to collect money entrusted to a responsible man from my mosque. When I arrived at his office, he thanked God and said now he can relax because he doesn't want to die with My Money in his pocket. I pray that he and his wife and many children are alive and well. I haven't seen him in a while. It's one of the ethical issues in Islam that would be normal written into law in Muslim countries like Morocco. In America Loans and business exchange are written called Promissory Notes, but its not almost possible.
In some cultures it is the family of the deceased that will usually ask if he or she owes anyone, even if it is not paid instantly or some may say they will forego the debt. They do believe that that debt will hinder the dead from going to heaven. What a belief though.
The energy and workload you put in your work is way better than some so-called TV stations. You sought your data from the primary source and back them with video evidence. Good job, madam. On Murphy's case, It's a tradition in Islam to asked so that it can be factored in the will should the dead did not put it on record, so also the flip side whoever the owes the dead should come out and say it. Thank you for this great job, may God continue to strengthen you.
Well Said. In Islam announcement is made before the burial if he owes anyone let the person come forward either to claim or denounce the debt.
Islamical that is just the best thing to be done before burial, they cannot Buria you when you are owing someone,so there is nothing wrong with what she has done because that's like doing a favour for him, you can ask any Muslim around
She did well to the diseased. It’s indeed terrifying to die with dept… may he find peace
It's a matter of conscience. Will I do what she did? NO, will I judge her for doing that? NO
From my town Ada, in Ghana, you don't kill a crocodile oh... I love you Neze❤❤
In Islam if you are owing anybody before death , during the burial it will be asked just the way it's done in weddings if anybody has reason why the two can't be joined likewise in this case it is believed that the dead will not have peace. Unless the person says he or she has relinquished the debt. She did the dead a favor.
Yes it's true,I was just about to type same
The problem with people who just saw the video clip is that they are using their own culture and religious experience to judge the situation disregarding the fact that the people at the funeral have their own culture and religious perceptions and practices.
Even in western countries where tradition & culture is almost non existent they have other ways of handling such cases legally.
That is so good to know. So of course she did nothing wrong. If that is what is done in the religion of the deceased. Any comment is null and void. No one should have an opinion on other people rules and regulations. It does not make sense in my opinion. And if at all, only someone from the same religion or culture could comment.
@@estheraiyeniwon9551 am not a Muslim but grew up amist them
Neze, if you watch the full video of Murphy's burial, it was the officiating Cleric that asked who ever Murphy was owing money to step out openly for all to see. He also said that whoever was owing Murphy money should do same and ensure that they pay whatever they owed him to his family. It wasn't the right place or time in my own opinion. 😢
In my tribe in TZ we do the same but not during burial but after burial, during finalizing meeting
Islamicaly that is what suppose to be done
@@Mimi-wf7mb This is not a tribe thing but religion. I'm Yoruba.
I am not a muslim but I have been to an Islamic burial and this is part of the program of the day
Petty attention. Power. Quick Money. No Modern Hospital, Roads, Poor Government. This Talk needs Full sponsorship. All Igbos that have Money Should Sponsor this Programs. 😆🇳🇬😭💯❤️😈💋🙏💯😆
Tradition very good
I love watching you Neze, your hair is beautiful. Love to Adaeze and her brothers. ♥️♥️
💕
I am from Anambra state and we don't kill that snake too
Hello Nez you are so beautiful and full of any energy and confidence always.
You make my day 💕 I follow u from overseas. Keep on smiling 💃💃
My favourite hair is this ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Am from Anambra just like yours we dont kill or hurt pythons too
😀
Respectfully, I believe some traditions should be uphold, for example in Angola women are required to wear black attire for a certain period. I’m really curious to know more about the the region where the first widow is from if men are also required to adhere to the post burial traditions?
I got to say, your taste of wigs are impeccable! You’re are rocking it well!! Every video hairstyles are on point.
We almost have thesame tradition in itsekiri delta state, I just buried my mum I was asked to walk back and forth and her grave too but I was told a man cannot be where his wife is being buried
In my country the actually even ask during the funeral that if there is debt the people should come up there and then .
We have the same but each community of us has respect for certain animals and is forbidden to harm those animals.
In my village, when someone dies,before they are buried, they asked whether he is owing anybody, cuz after the burial u don't have the right to asked for it anymore, a loan should not die,especially if the person who landed the money is also struggling.
This is a religion thing tho. Not tribal thing
Waw am I thought this practice of not killing python is only in my village. Am a Cameroonian from the north west region of Cameroon Bafanji . In Bafanji,if a python visit your compound, it's consider a sign of good luck as it's believe to be a visit from the gods. Just like in your village, it has never hurt anyone.
FYI
Murphy didn't take a loan from her. The Woman said she gave the money to him for work. From the look of things,she might be an Actress or Producer that gave him money for work but unfortunately,he passed before the job was executed.
Talking about the timing, to me, it wouldn't have been a good time to talk about it BUT the Cleric started the move. They should have probably announced that 'if Murphy is owing you, pls contact us'.
Anyway, may his soul rest in peace.
Chick I hail you ooo. IMO state rocks💃🏾❤️😎
Pretty NEZE i always enjoy watching your videos ❤♥
My girl is here again ❤❤❤
The practice in my place, is that widows are made to sleep on a old sleeping mat, eat from a broken plate, hair cut.
I’m from north east part of Nigeria 🇳🇬 and Yobe to be precise. There’s a local government in my state known as Machina where it’s forbidden to kill snakes. It’s believed that one of their kings was born as a twin and his other twin was a snake. And it has never been known that a snake has ever bitten anyone in that locality.
Yeah, in my place in Mambilla plateau we don't kill green snake as it said that if you kill it a twin will die. And the snake s are harmless.
@@jjmkitchentv4397Same in my culture in Cameroon .Twins are considered as human beings with magical powers who can transform into green snakes and as such twins are highly revered and are given preferential treatment as opposed to single children.
😂😂😂😂oh Lord, the insanity of it all.
Crazy week that was
That sounds like oru west area. In my mom's village pytons are not harmed and they do not hurt anyone.
Yeah ❣️
My sister the is tradition we should respect it.
Am from Togo and there is a tribe called Peda is in Benin also and it is a taboo for them to kill a python they do the same thing they even sing to it and it doesn't hurt them neither wow...
No. The debt should end with the death of the individual!
To me l dont see anything strange because In my culture that is how its done.If you claim your debt in secret or after the funeral you will not be given but considered a crook.Even if you don't want it back you should let everyone know that you were owed but you don't want it back. This is regarded as releasing the dead so that they fly up high peacefully 🤷. If you want it back, arrangements will be made on how to pay you back,with close relatives putting their heads together on the matter
Hi Neze. 👋🏾 in the BAHAMAS 🇧🇸 we have know such thing a d when you dead your debts dead with you!!!
Wow, these customs are crazy , thank God for where i born
Wouldn't trade Barbados for the world
In my place/tribe a widow is made to dance on the grave to prove that she was faithful to her husband when he lived.
I love you my darling sister ❤❤❤❤
She asked for the money on the 8th day. Not on the day of the burial.
My bestie Barrister Neze❤
So I am from Côte d’Ivoire and from the dioula/Bambara/Mandingo tribe. I’m not sure if it’s in Islam or out culture but when someone passes they ask everyone if the person has any debts and usually people let it go.
I believe if she asked at that time, she must desperately need the money because morally I think it’s wrong.
As a muslim if the deceased is owing a debt before he or she died the family or children or wife will pay the debt but lady should have wait after the burial and most times people forgive the debt
I am from Congo Brazzaville when my stepdad passed during the war in 1997 my mom was forced to drink the water that was used to wash his dead body, cut her hair and she had to wear white. I never understood why she has to prove her innocence when the man was in the army and died in the war. I don’t like African traditions cause mostly is women asked to do these things not men.
You're so right. Women are suffering from around the world. Bad culture everywhere, so sad
OMG 🤮- that’s a ghastly disgusting tradition 🤢
His family should pay back the loan.
She says the late guy is owing her, her work money. What can be implied is that she did a job for him and he is yet to pay for. It doesn’t sound like a loan. She didn’t say borrowed him money. She says he has her work money in his hands more like saying he is yet to pay for a job she did for him.
Women Rights and Men Rights. Will Save Igbo Land
Our own village too they don't kill python if mistakenly killed they do burial for it...Enugu state
Muslims are not allowed to be buried, until they asked the question. If there's someone owing him they have to speak or if he is owing someone the person have to say it infront of the family b4 he is buried.
So this woman has not done anything wrong.
Culture is culture.
She knew the culture before marriage.nothing bad.
The creditor was Wrong to ask at that time but the truth is that debts don’t die when debtors die, the debt is called estate
If someone dies and people are owing him money, the family comes forward and ask for payback and the same thing should happen because the family should pay back the loan. God punish burial
I am from Ghana. We have the same in my culture.
There and then,the cleric called out Adunni Ade asking her to pay back the money Murphy paid her for an unfinished movie
Wow Neze babe we are boundaries apart that means Ihiala and Nbiddi are of same traditions and believe, though count me out lols 😆
Neze she is right! Depts are supposed to be paid before or after death by family, unless the lender let's it slide. As for our african traditions I respect them to an extent, but not when such a tradition is meaningless and focused on only a gender. That I call wickedness and babaric
Muslim are not allowed to be buried without the family not knowing the status ( debit or credit) person
If that’s the culture why not
She should go ahead and get bar money
In Ghana you informed the family members one privately❤
I am Cameroonian. When my father passed his sisters asked my mother to jump over his grave 5 times to prove that she did not kill him. But there was a caveat that we could 'buy her head' aka pay her way out of it. They tried to cut her hair but we did it before they could. Nonsense traditions. I hate snakes. I will kill a python if I could , but I can't even bear the sight of one. The only tradition i honor is respect of elders and parents.
So if the wife does, does the husband go through the same ritual?
There is a time & a place for everything. While she wasn’t wrong in her assessment, meaning asking for the loan back, she could have had a private conversation with the family. I don’t think anyone else needed to know the affairs of the deceased. 🤷🏽♀️
Exactly!!!
That's wickedness on her side she should have just let it be
Barrister pls where did buy this beautiful hair? Pls i need one for myself i love the colour ❤
She really did Murphy a favour by asking for the money, she was supposed to ask before he was buried, according to Islam debts must be paid whether died or not... In Malaysia law the government will pay if nobody can or he will pay it himself on the day of judgement( with his goodness and if Murphy doesn't have any goodness up to 1.4m, the woman sin will be removed and it will be added to his).
Waww
My girl, you're always beautiful and charming!
Africans practice their traditions on naive people . My grand mother had 13 boys including my dad. I lost my dad in 2004 , what their family members did to my mum , words cannot begin to describe, she was made to sit and sleep on the bare cold floor for 7 days without taking a bath , she couldn’t eat from a plate, she could eat only on banana leaves regardless what she was eating , her hair was shaved off and burnt on my fathers grave, she was made to carry food and distribute to each house hold in the village accompanied by some older women in the village, etc , so many disturbing things she had to do, barely 3 years later my uncle ( my dads younger brother ), who lived in the United States passed away and his corpse was repatriated for burial in our village, his wife wasn’t made to go through all the ‘traditionnel rights’ ofcourse bcz she lives in the US what we call money people . 9 years later my dads older brother passed away . Ohhh Lord what they did to his wife in the name of tradition made national news in my country and had many NGO ‘s involved to fight for her . My other uncles wife refuse to let the traditional rights be done on her and she was banished from the village , never to step foot in the village again But if they where influential, such a thing won’t happen
All I can say is tradition is selective .cruel traditional practices are for the poor people only.
You are right.
Im sorry for your experience
I attended elementary school in Nnewi in the 70s they don't kill python either
I weaned white for one year barber my hair twice the he was buried and the one year completed..it was a bitter experience just be prayerful especially where you are getting married to oooo
I love a lot of Africa traditions.
Black African Americans from the south we are pampered we be waited on hand and foot. When we have a baby we can't wash our hair for 30 days after having a baby and we have to stay in the house for 30 days if u had a boy he have to be circumcised 2 to 3 days after he was born. Every one that hold him/she have to wash there hands before holding the baby. When a man died his wife just because a widow. People will look at her crazy if she get married in the next two to three weeks after her husband passed his family will say she killed him. So most widows don't get married right away. But the majority of widows never get married after their husband passed. One reason in the United States we have social security so if he worked a job all his life then his wife will get benefits from social security and most of the time it's a large amount of money each month she will get but if she remarries she do not get it.
Now as far as the lady walking on her husband's grave. To me it makes sense in a way it's like she walking out of his life into a new beginning. I will say a lot of Africa's traditions for married couples the woman have it hard. She always have to prove herself in everything and I don't like that I think if a woman have to do with the man should have to do it too and if the man is dead then let his brother take his place but he still would have to do it so if they want the woman to drink the bathwater that they use to clean her husband up then his brother should have to do it too. I can listen to African traditions all day long because I'm lost. A lot of black people don't like the fact that they call us African-Americans I don't understand why because that's just what we are. I love Africans if my computer breakdown I take it to the African man I can't pronounce his name so I just call him brother and he called me sister. When I go get my hair braided I go to the Elizabeth an Africans ladies her prices are high but they are the best at braiding hair in the world. I talked to them they tell me all kinds of different things I just love being around them. It's so crazy I see African people on the internet there's two women that look just like my mother and my aunts also I see a lot of men that look like my uncles and brothers and have the same attitude it's crazy. You are right the traditions set you guys apart from everyone else an African people are very unique intelligent. I truly believe in my heart that African people are the chosen people. Yes powerful people was greedy and wasn't taken care of the African people. Africa people was feared because they were so intelligent. White people in the United States they fear black people back in the day because we where so intelligent so deprived us from reading it was against the law to teach a black person how to read. When they brung us from Africa they could not understand how we were so intelligent and how we could get things done how our brains thought so they didn't want us to learn to read their English scared we was going to outthink them. I enjoy everything you can tell me about Africa. I'm just beginning to know the things that I see in African movies have happened to people for real in real life over there. And it's always the woman have to prove herself. Against her husband's family she have to prove she didn't kill him. I'm like wow can a person just die so I think they use that tradition for the men's family to take everything from the wife it's a strategy that they said okay we're going to take everything she killed him so they have a reason to take everything. That's old greedy people that want to keep that tradition that tradition should be stopped no woman should have to drink the bathwater of her dead husband now that's really insane.
Rich culture indeed sweedy. Neze I like you more when you go without red lipstick, you look more younger and trust me your husband made a good choice. Love you ❤️
Grenada 🇬🇩 is in the house the spice island