"A Warning Label on my Life": The Story of Ellen's Coming Out
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- Опубликовано: 20 май 2023
- Ellen DeGeneres’ coming out episode was a massive TV milestone. The first openly gay lead character on a primetime sitcom, it opened the door for countless shows that followed. But not everyone was happy about it, and behind the scenes, some of Ellen’s biggest battles were with the executives in charge of the network. And that was only the start of troubles to come. This is the story of the most controversial coming-out in television history ... and the fallout that changed TV forever.
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"Conservatives were furious" could be the subtitle for this whole channel.
*century
"Conservatives are constipated"
Could be the subtitle of the 20th Century.
Calling these people conservatives is absurd. They are bigots, not conservatives. I know plenty of fiscally conservative people who aren't bigots. Actually other than their bigotry what makes these people conservative exactly? Their governments spend more, waste more, commit more crimes. Their states consume more pornography, have more murders, are more violent have more criminals. So please tell me... what about them is conservative?
Conservatism thrives on outrage. If they weren't mad, they'd actually be voting for things to improve our world.
@@grahamjones5400 and apparently, they're still struggling to find the MiraLAX (tm) in this one 😞
When my dad said that Ellen wasn’t funny anymore becuase she was gay it shoved me so far in the closet I’m surprised I ever found my way out. I couldn’t imagine something being so terrible that it made you stop being funny.
I'm sorry it did that to you.
Don’t worry, you’re still funny, Nermal! You’re the best Garfield character 😜
Even elton john felt that way. it was a sad time with all the backlash.
@@bsquared4604 i remember this time..ellen herself did two interviews specific on that topic, but for months there were more and more discourse about it, every article that mentioned her talked abou nothing else, so it appeared to so many, as if she herself was repetitive.
Did your dad eventually accept you? My mom made a similar offhand comment that messed me up for years. I will always wonder if I had just been honest with her (and myself) if she would have been accepting.
I remember watching Ellen's sitcom with my mom and sister as a kid. I also remember my mom being genuinely angry when they started putting the content warning before the show after she came out: "what the hell isn't appropriate?"
Because of that warning, I made a point to keep watching. 😂
Ellen was dating a woman as the lead of a popular sitcom! A lesbian found love and had relationship struggles just like heterosexuals!
People should not have had to see that!😅 Gay relationships should not have been portrayed in a light that wasn't just zany side characters with stereotypical views of what gay relationships were.
How dare they😂
So ridiculous to have a warning.
I don't even remember them being there (I was watching in my early twenties, and I didn't understand what the big deal was concerning the content. The groundbreaking cultural shift, yes.)
I probably blocked out the warning, since it just confused me.
That was a really fascinating clip of Ellen appearing on the Rosie O’Donnell show and joking that her character was coming out as “Lebanese,” then Rosie teasing that she thinks that she herself might be Lebanese, with Ellen quipping back that she suspected Rosie might have some Lebanese in her” given that this interview was in 1997 and Rosie didn’t officially “come out” until 2002.
It is interesting in that it was one of those “open secrets” that they could wink so hard at their conservative audience that it was basically stage whispering, and yet they knew that the conservative audience was so eager to believe a comforting lie that until one of them spelled it out blatantly by saying the actual words “I am a lesbian,” they would never pick up on the very obvious subtext of the Lebanese joke.
It is particularly interesting because I recall as a kid hearing the suggestion that Rosie was a lesbian and dismissing it with “no way. She is always talking about her crush on Tom Cruise,” while failing to pick up on every other blatant hint.
It also reminds me of when you would see clips of people making “jokes” about Harvey Weinstein being a predator. It was an “open secret.” Mind you, Rosie’s secret was obviously about having consensual love and Harvey’s was about being an abuser so they are absolutely very different situations.
But it is interesting to notice things that seem obvious now with hindsight that went right over most people’s heads when they were alluded to at the time. It makes me wonder how many other inside jokes are flying over my head today.
Was looking for this comment. Seeing Rosie and Ellen talk like this at the time made me laugh so hard.
Speaking of obvious how about Liberace?
I dunno, if I'd seen Ellen and Rosie doing the Lebanese bit before hearing anything about them actually being lesbians, I probably would have assumed they were just making the pun for a laugh. They're both comedians and playing gay for a joke was common as a cold.
Wonder if this was inspired by the Golden Girls (Blanche thinking they meant Lebanese), or vice versa.
This is the same country that had Family Guy making jokes about Kevin Spacey going after younger men before it was confirmed years later. I’m not making light of what happened to the victims. I’m just saying people laughed at the joke and then were shocked when it was shown to be true.
My son is 19, and I remember about 10 years ago we were watching Ellen's talk show and I ended up telling him the story of her sitcom and what a huge deal it was for her to come out at that time. He was genuinely confused and didn't understand why her being gay would ever have been a problem. The younger generation lives in a very different world than we did, which I think makes it even more important to remember our history with videos like these.
you do have a good point but unfortunately people a part of the lgbtq+ community still faces a awful lot of horrible stuff , it's not as bad as it used to but it's still not great it's not a entirely different world
@@oreolaw9911there's no need for homophobia
@@peterwilliamskelhorn6675 yes I agree
@@oreolaw9911 I'm gay and wouldn't like anyone calling me a "maggot" but with a f at the beginning
@@peterwilliamskelhorn6675 yes same I'm a lesbian and I hate people using the f slur
The moment when Ellen said "Im Gay" in to that microphone was almost indescribably huge.
But when she comes out to Peter, who was also both a gay character and gay actor was very powerful and sweet in its own way.
It’s amazing how far we’ve come in a couple decades…in 1997 Bob Iger was whining that Ellen was too gay, now Disney is at war with Ron Desantis over gay rights
It reminds you that no corporation is on the side of the people...until the people rise up. case in point: Disney donated $50,000 to Desantis's re-election campaigns in 2019 AND 2021. keep rising up, people!
Disney isn't at war with desantis over gay rights Disney is at war because desantis fucked with their bottom line! They will pick whatever side benefits them most never forget that!
disney literally donated to the dont say gay bill like, last year lol
Don't forget Disney leadership only did so under pressure from gay employees and their allies. Same with the ousting of sexpest John Lasseter, Disney has no intent of doing anything until the employees and other animation workers fought for it.
No corporation is ever truly on our side, least of all goddamn Disney. They'll pander to us and will side with us if that will benefit their profits but the moment they think doing the opposite is the way they'll gladly stab us in the back. They are using us.
As a straight man I could never understand fully what being closeted feels like, what the fear of being outed or coming out feels like, or what it feels like to see someone do what you want to do and giving you the courage to finally do it. The emotion on your face as you described what you experienced during "the puppy episode" gave me a glimpse, though. As a Christian minister who is trying hard to be as strong an ally as I can be within an institution which has been responsible for so much pain and suffering for LGBTQ+ people I find your videos to really help me, and I'm sure many others, to gain more understanding. As well as being just really good and entertaining to watch. God bless, Matt.
All respect to you personally. None whatsoever to Christian or Abrahamic churces though.
You wrote "has been responsible" which I take as referring to the past. Churches continue to cause pain and suffering for LGBTQ+ people and women, some more some less so, but it is far from over. It is good that there are positive examples like you in these institutions, but as a whole they do more bad than good.
This show and episode specifically taught me that my ex-wife believed being gay was a choice. One of our worst arguments…but life went one and now I’ve been married for 22 years to a woman who makes sure we’re at the Utah Pride Festival almost ever year.
Heck yeah! As a friend of mine once said "on to hotter [women] with better vibes!"
if being gay is a choice why doesn't conservatives ever try being gay?
@@oreolaw9911 Oh, they do. 😉
@@targaghjj lol soooo true
People often complain about why people feel they need to come out, why make an issue about it.
Your story is why. It gives closeted kids like yourself the safety and confidence to be yourself ♥️
Are there any queer people who actually say that?
@@bialynia I do, for philosophical reasons
Nobody can take away your queerness and make you be less you, so there's no need to ever hide that part of you
Having to come out the closet means you had to be in it, and that's just generally bad
@@bialynia yes, but alot of them just grift and pander to conservatives
@@bialyniayes I've heard this opinion very many times
I had forgotten. I had actually somehow forgotten how hard it was at the time. How mainstream and expected it was to treat gays and lesbians as dangerous lepers.
When i finally came out around this time, i literally felt i had to take each of my friends individually to a corner booth of a favorite hang out and drop my news like a bomb to my life and hold my breath to see their reaction and if they would detonate that bomb. I lost friends, a job, from coming out. It was a big deal. To do that on the scale that Ellen did is something my nervous system can't comprehend.
I'm so glad it's easier now. Everytime i see a cute story about a queer prom couple i get teary. I never dreamed to have that, it was incomprehensible as a teenager. People acted like being a murderer was more acceptable then.
Kids today (thank God) have no idea and have i mentioned, thank GHOD.
Of course intolerant people have moved on after mosty losing this "culture war" and have found a new bogeyman in trans folks and alot of that anti propaganda sounds really familiar the 2nd time around. I don't know if it will bring any trans person living thru this crap now any comfort, because they still have to wade thru the sh!t, but hateful people will lose, it's inevitable. Acceptance will come. Backlashes always happen but you can only make people fearful about unknowns. And that doesn't last, can't last, in the face of brave people living authentically.
✊🏻🏳️🌈✌🏻
A friend of mine recently came out as trans to me and she was so scared of what my reaction would be. It was so gratifying to reassure her that I loved her and accepted her as she was.
@@grumpyotter Bless ya for being supportive! Each good friend is like a life raft in choppy waters.
Growing up gay in the 80's, in a Midwestern Catholic community, being made to feel like there was something wrong with me, looking back now it seems like it was all such a huge waste of time to have had to deal with any of that. So the hate and discrimination directed towards trans people now just makes me feel like no one learned anything, it's just another waste of time to make people hide who they are and deny them equal rights.
Never forget that Joseph Mccarthy and his ilk really started this war, this hatred is not eternal and everlasting.
@@jimkocherful Oh lessons have been learned but bigots have learned the wrong ones.
Wow I just gained a newfound respect for Diane Sawyer, watching her hold Bob Iger’s feet to the fire like that (in the 90s!!) and not letting any of his bullshit slide… love the incredulous “Well she IS gay every single week!” made me want to stand up and cheer
I mean, Rosie and Ellen hinting that they could be lesbian is prescient.
Ellen is a great example of the limits of liberal feminism. As an individual, she's made great strides, and her efforts definitely have had a positive ripple effect. On the other hand, her behavior as an actual boss have continued the top-down, hierarchical, sometimes abusive (and always exploitative) structures that poison our society. Her life is individual progress environed by institutional status quo. The classic "more women CEO of weapons manufacturers!" problem.
She’s one person. She doesn’t represent ‘liberal feminism.’
All my homies support rad-fems, cause they actually get shit done on all fronts! Except terfs, that is. Fuck them.
Agreed
I remember this episode so vividly. I was a sophomore in college, and our LGBT student club met up in a basement common room, and when she said those words “I’m gay” at the airport, we all stood up and cheered and hugged each other, and I broke into tears.
Those moments huh. It's wild looking back and thinking how much changes so fast but also how much we're still struggling against far right propaganda trying to make us out to be monsters.... And real violence.
I cannot deny Ellen's impact on my life being out when I was a closeted bisexual. It's no coincidence that I came out when her talk show was in its second or third season. While I am disappointed in the mistakes she made leading to the end of her talk show, it doesn't take away a light in a sea of darkness in coming out on her sitcom and what she endured in the aftermath.
People talk about how easier it is to come out, coming out is not easy. Ellen doing it on a national scale reflects a reality that is still present for many people who aren't out, who struggle to come out, and whose to stay in. When I was young and saw what happened to Ellen, I did not want it to happen to me.
But, somehow, I just kept swimming. Ellen kept swimming, and she started her talk show which ran for two decades. Thank you Matt for acknowledging her complex legacy.
Complex legacy, exactly. But to think how many people this struggle and moment impacted and empowered...hats off to you, Ellen. And then hat back on.
Thank you for not sweeping the blowback under the rug or dog piling on top of it but actually having an objective take on it. That's what we need
My mom came out because of this episode and Ellen coming out in real life. I was a kid at the time. Ans as I got older, her living her truth is what gave me confidence to come out as trans. Still feeling the ripple effects of this today and I'll never forget it.
I was a queer kid in Northern Ireland in the 2000s, though unaware of my queerness at the time. We had an ABC channel that just ran re-runs of shows they had, but I hadn't seen them before, so they were new to me. I saw the "I'm gay" episode, unaware of the context surrounding it. It was surprising, it was a move I hadn't ever seen done on TV before. It helped me on my queer journey too.
I think it is good for me to remember things like this. I'm not the youngest generation, I'm in my early 30s, but I'm chronically online and people are always like "x famous person is too privileged, let's delight in their downfall" and while there is a vague validity there...we tend to erase and minimise the struggles we don't remember.
Someone doesn't have to be all good or all bad, legacies can and SHOULD be complicated.
I appreciate that you never shy away from the complexity of this history. It's undeniable the impact Ellen has had on culture and I love that you covered her. I love even more that you included the controversy around the working conditions on her show. Neither quality erases the other. In an era where people get clicks by presenting things in black and white terms, I hold your channel even more dearly for it's willingness to engage with the grey. Can't wait to read your book!
ETA: this added some much needed context for why my conservative fundamentalist parents almost didn't allow us to go see Finding Nemo when it came out. I only had a very vague idea at the time. Just the other day I got an apology for the homophobia my parents espoused over the years, completely unprompted. I have no doubt that them enjoying her show played a role in changing their minds. Culture isn't everything but it sure is a force to be reckoned with.
Looking forward to the episode - you always do a great job. The Puppy Episode of Ellen is one of the best stories of TV history. I remember watching it as a 25 year old gay man living alone and it gave me such hope that the future looked bright!
I loved Ellen growing up, she made me laugh and entertained me like nobody else could. My father would make fun of her and say horrible things and it just made me feel terrible. Made me realize how homophobic people can be and made me never want to come out. So I am thankful to her for being a pioneer!
I cannot imagine the stress of feeling ready to not only come out, but to do so on TV, just to deal with all this crap of higher-ups pushing the date back further. And then to have them give the okay, but blame HER afterwards for their homophobic opinions on the resulting product?
It's just unthinkable. Coming out in 1997 was hard enough (I was doing it at around the same time) but imagine having to ask your boss' permission first!
I remember watching "The Puppy Episode". I was about to turn 14 and was a normal cisgender heterosexual boy, but my Mom sat me and my younger brother down and told us we were watching this episode. My mom had heard the rumors and had never really thought "Ellen" was all that funny, to be honest, but this was a big deal if the rumors were true. We got to the "coming out" moment, and my mom made a point that there was nothing wrong with her being gay. My grandparents were watching with us--at the time my parents were divorcing and we were living with them--and my grandmother and grandfather both said the same. My grandmother had spent a career at a local Catholic hospital as a nurse in the psychiatric ward and could remember when being homosexual had you involuntarily committed, and she told us how horrible it was to watch these people go through "treatment" for it. My grandfather had been the chief of a police department and remembered keeping a couple officers private lives hushed up to protect them from bigotry and potential firings.
This was a big moment, and I don't think kids today understand just how important it was for a main character in a show on a major network to be gay. How much that normalized it in the eyes of most of the country. Like "The Birdcage" and "Philadelphia", it made being gay OK in the eyes of so many people for the first time. I remember kids in school the next day and our teachers having to stop class for a couple minutes and talk about it. I can remember hearing a few kids talk about it being immoral and most of the rest of us telling them how wrong we thought they were. It fundamentally changed the opinions of so many people, because for the rest of the show, Ellen was the same person, she just now was out. And the fact that nothing changed hammered home to a lot of younger people, if not the close-minded bigots that will always be bigots, was that gay people were just people.
It's like the line in "Big Daddy", when the love interest asks Adam Sandler's character if he thinks its weird that two of his friends fell in love with each other. All he said was: "What's the big deal? They're the same guys - they just watch a different kind of porno now." Gay people are people. And the sooner the bigots out there understand that, the sooner the world can be a better place for everyone.
I was born in September of 1998, and my parents always told me they took me home from the hospital, sat down on the couch with me, and turned on Ellen. It must have been reruns, but they watched the show all the time. My mum and I watched her talk show together every time it aired. Turned out they’re both homophobic in different degrees, but they still love Ellen! Having someone whose show was always on the tv at my house growing up that I could point to as someone a little like me meant so much, even if she was the only lgbt person my parents actually liked haha
I'm straight and I will always be an ally to the LGBTQ + community. Watching this video brought tears to my eyes. I will never understand how people can be so ignorant and hateful in the face of love and someone's right to exist. If not for religion, would homophobia ever have gained such a foothold?
Thanks
Thanks for your thoughts but is there a straight community 🤔?
That's a very fair point, thank you. We are all one community, if only that oneness came with an inherent respect for one another, regardless of any aspect that describes or defines who they are.
Religion is the key to a lot of everything that is wrong with the world
As another straight man who teared up watching this, I can't agree more with everything you said here. The Bible says love thy neighbor and talks of God's love for his creation (us). Then why do they harbor so much hate of innocent people? Safe to say, I'm done with religion.
This is so off topic, but the book title made me think of it.
When Rose whispers in Dorothy's ear about Blanche's brother, and Dorothy's face is so confused for a second and then goes,
"Clayton is a Hobo?" It makes me cry laughing to this day.
The Lebanese joke made me think of
“Isn’t Danny Thomas one??” 😂
The "Viewer discretion is advised" was even kept in syndication as late as 2013.
Also because of the show constantly shaking it up seeing that show in syndication as your first exposure had me confused from here to Timbuktu. Ellen the character went through friends quicker than members of Menudo.
That clip of Ellen and Rosie O'Donnell was hysterical, and reminded me that back then I had a huge crush on both of them. This was back when I thought I was a straight man instead of a bi trans woman. Maybe the fact that I had a crush on two women who then came out as lesbians should have been a sign.
Your videos are so wonderfully insightful, and I appreciate the lean towards the blunt truth and not the flowery romanticized telling of events, the hardships people had to go through to get things on television in the year of our lord 1997. Like, wow.
But as an aside, ever since I watched your Birdcage episode, I still cannot believe how deeply uncool it was for Oprah to try to out someone. That made me see red. Nobody should be forced out against their will, especially on live television by someone claiming to be an ally and supportive of LGBTQ+ folks.
Agreed. That was a huge fuckup on her part. I hope (and I'm sure she did) she learned from it and avoided making mistakes like that in the future.
I heard a gay man at the time who said the show had become “too gay”. Stunned me. On a happier note, I’m loving “Hi Honey, I’m Homo”, such an awesome book!
It's really sad that when Ellen is spoken of now it's the controversies that comes up first. Not to do armchair psychology and obviously trauma does not excuse behaviour that was harmful, but understanding her history really puts her (perhaps) cynicism and ambition into context. She wants security and she was in work for almost 20 years as one of the biggest names in daytime TV, as a lesbian in the time of a conservative government to boot. Think what one wants of the person but how she has changed middle America's perception on lesbians and gays is immeasurable.
I feel you on this. On the one hand, she's done so much good - and on the other hand, we've all had experiences in toxic workplaces. I hope she has a redemption arc, though, she's wonderfully funny
@@sarahwatts7152 Yeah I agree she's funny but I don't mind that she retires in peace. I'm just grateful for her not to do the "I'm (unfairly) cancelled" tour and probably is doing her work in private. And because I'm not a viewer of "ellen" the chat show (being not American and all) I felt like if she called it quits 10 years ago and decided to take risks and maybe focus on producing or writing, rather than heavily investing on her image as a brand, she could've ended things on her terms. I feel like a lot of the "Ellen is mean" discourse stems from the betrayal people feel because that is so diametrically opposite to the image she built with her brand. The fact that she probably has developed away from that persona (or even never was that persona) but has to continually make content might have added to her bitterness - a phenomena very common on this here platform. Again, it's sad it ended this way, but if she quits entertainment and decides to just maybe take up hobbies like baking bread with Portia or crocheting, I don't entirely view that as a negative.
Yes! Thank you! I can admit that I no longer like or support Ellen, but after seeing/hearing her story, her later actions in life do make more sense. But, as you said, it's not an excuse. Unless she takes real accountability for the harm she has done, I will just say that it's better for her to not be in the spotlight anymore.
Ellen's TV coming out changed America in favor of gay rights. It paved the way for Will & Grace, and eventually acceptance of gay marriage.
It was so nice to hear about Matt’s connection to the show.
I remember when this happened. I was one of those children they were thinking about when they put up those warnings. I regularly watched the show, and I thought it was great that she came out as a lesbian. I figured sometimes people are lesbian, and it’s about time they showed that on TV. Then the backlash started, and I asked why. My parents explained that some people thought being gay was wrong. Huh? They said, well, some people think it’s a choice. And I looked at the people losing their minds over a lady saying the words “I’m gay” and I thought “why would anyone choose this? Who would just wake up one day and say ‘you know what would be great? If people went on the news and talked about how much they hate me, I think I’ll be gay now.’”
I was a freshman in high school. The next day, my crush told me he had something important to confess. I had a good feeling about what he was about to say, but I was still on the edge of my seat. But, closet case 15-year-old me was very scared the other students in the room would find out about me, so I didn't tell him that I'm also a friend of Dorothy. He asked me if I was okay with it and that is when I said the stupidest thing I've ever said. "It's cool as long as you don't come on to me." *Head desk*
Though, I'm pretty sure he knew. I was flirting very heavily with him at the end-of-the-year school festival. But, nothing ever happened between us
I think stories like this are exactly why I find your channel so valuable, I think for straight people like myself it’s easy to forget just HOW bad things were for gay people and representation, something that becomes really apparent when you compare it to conservative outrage over trans rights and trans characters in media now. Videos like this and explorations of our troubling history and failures to be inclusive show me just how absurd conservative backlash is today. It’s the same old bs they just have a new target. Your videos are always great keep up the great work!
When I was a small child long before I came out as Bi, I recall asking my mom, what does coming out of the closet mean!? My mom is the Ace in LGBTQIA+ she resorted to giving me a clip of Ellen coming out of the closet, the same in this vid. For a long time, Ellen and Rosie were my role models. Later, I would go on to watch her on tv and I would watch her show. The sitcom was a nightly rerun that would play on the box tv in the summer of ’09. THANKS SO MUCH FOR BRINGING BACK SO MANY GIGGLES AND AN AMAZING MOMENT IN HISTORY MATT. THIS MEANS A LOT. ELLEN MEANT A LOT TO ME AND MY MA! 🌈🌈
I was 13 when that show began. I remember it being a big deal. In the UK we couldn't believe American viewers got a 'warning'. By then we had it on Children's TV!
i’d absolutely love seeing more lesbian pop culture history videos from this channel! maybe a video on xena or the l word? thanks for all you do
I agree! Those (and more) would be great
Yes, don't let this channel fall into the outdated trap of 98% white gay male content, with only 2% of barely recognized scraps shown about LBTQI people. We have to fight for visibility in the mainstream world, we shouldn't have to demand to be seen on our own media channels!
Another fantastic video, Matt! Loved the callback to your Birdcage video - you have such a body of work to draw on!
I was 10 years old when I saw the coming out episode with my mom. We both had a crush on Ellen at the time. Mom was bicurious and I would later figure out that I'm pan.
These kinds of shared experiences gave me the privilege of never needing to be closeted about my orientation.
18:09 not me getting a little teary eyed remembering how scary coming out in my 30s was 😭🏳️🌈
I remember watching the coming out episode when it aired, and thinking then "It's about f***in' time!" like it was the end of a journey of acceptance. But decades later it's so clear it was just the beginning, for her and for all of us. Thanks, Matt. Your work has the same effect, and I'm grateful you're here to do it!
Them putting the disclaimer for her show in the Law and Order-ish font is shady as hell lol
That anecdote about your heart pounding as you watched as a teenager, I felt that ❤ Thank you for telling these stories Matt
Watching this humanizes the public figure who, by all accounts, embodied hypocrisy with being kind to the everyday people she encountered. We queer folks too often internalize the cruelty we’ve encountered; hurt people hurt people. Kudos for making this with so much care, acknowledging the fact her revolutionary bravery can’t be erased by a documented history of bullying. Both can coexist independently. She’s a flawed human, but a brave human.
As someone who is from & lives in Alabama, i almost cried hearing how the LGBT community stood up to the ABC affiliate
It’s hilarious to hear a bunch of guys talk about Ellen as if she was the most obviously straight woman ever, that it was a shock. My mom named me Ellen (not after her) when I was born and the episode came out when I was a baby, and she had to give me a nickname to stop people from giving her weird reactions.
It’s so strange that Bob Iger later got kind of a reputation as a gay ally; his comments in that interview were pretty gross.
How do you get "personally offended" if someone is gay?
How would that even work?
As usual, another fantastic video. Would you ever consider making a video on the 2014 sitcom: “Vicious” starring Derek Jacobi and Ian McKellen as a constantly bickering gay couple? The writing was fantastic but I don’t think the show was known to many people.
A most pivotal moment in my life - Ellen coming out put a name to my confusion, and I stopped being confused! The positive reactions to that episode from the people around me also gave me courage to come out.
Thank you for not ignoring the toxic environment & harassment on the show. The pendulum has again swung against Ellen in more than a few segments of the LGBTQ+ community and the entertainment industry. Perhaps deserved in some aspects, but also pushed unfairly by misogyny, homophobia and the tendency of too many in the wider gay community to feast upon their own. Thanks for reminding us of the bigger picture.
I was in middle school when this came out, I was a baby bi and felt my heart poundddinnnnggg when this episode aired. I loved this show for years afterward.
No matter what you might think of Ellen as a person, this might be the best & most important thing she’s done.
It certainly was that important in that moment. It also paved the way for other shows, like Will & Grace and Modern Family, which I will contend managed to do more toward the fight for gay rights in America than anything else could have in such a relatively short amount of time. ❤
What can I say. This was profound. I was deeply grateful.
Man. Bob Iger is sooooooo smug in this interview. Such a slappable face. Taking NO ownership or responsibility for a show within HIS company.
This entire thing broke my heart all again.
Thanks for all you do, Matt.
You're our unofficial Gay Uncle.
This video encapsulates what an extraordinary person Ellen is, the difference she has made in so many people's lives (often at great sacrifice to herself and her career). Of course she is not perfect, and I'm glad you also pointed out that many found her difficult to work with in later years. I think even people with a good heart like Ellen become a bit crazy and demanding once they achieve extreme levels of wealth and power. But, we should also remember she literally saved the lives of thousands/hundreds of thousands of queer youth over the years, brought joy and laughter to millions, and has helped countless numbers of people by bestowing them with charity, gifts, promotion, and/or compassion.
Thank you Matt Baume for all the care and effort you put into your videos. This one is extra special to me!
For me, Season 3 of "Ellen" really hit the spot. I loved the zany adventures (rescuing 'Scout' the lobster, driving around at night waiting to see where John Travolta's birthday party was being held, the "Mock Turtleneck Trial", Martha Stewart coming to dinner, and the earthquake). I also think they really hit on the perfect cast dynamic. It's so nostalgic for me.
Y'know, I'm really happy that hearing people from the 90s outraged about the terrifying prospect of a *~l e s b i a n~* on TV just makes me laugh at how ridiculous it sounds.
Entertainment media has come a long way, that's for sure.
Isn’t it sad. This increasable woman has done so much for our community
And yet her legacy is remembered by what “ended it”
Thank you again Matt for reminding us all
Of those fearless warriors who fought for what we have today
19 years is one heck of a run
Meh, speak for yourself. She’s not wholly responsible for the gross actions of others. Her talk show would have eventually and naturally ended anyhow. It’s important to always be giving people a new reason to remember you.
A friend of mine worked on her show near the end of it's run and said Ellen is "a horrific human being"
I'm only at the 20 minute mark, but I give a hearty BRAVO! to this piece. I was 20 when this aired and I remember all of the speculation around it and the catharsis I felt when it actually happened. It inspired me to come out. I am drowning in nostalgia tears right now and will now stop and watch the last 40 minutes
I remember watching her come out with excitement but seeing the anger and disapproval of my mother crushed me. Too young to understand or appreciate how great a moment this was for the world. Thank you for filling in the gaps for me so I can let go ❤
Great video. I have to say that I'm finally reading Matt's book Defining Marriage, and it's really good. Packed with information. He has an impressive amount of experience and is a terrific writer! Highly recommend.
After she came out i remember watching it with my sister and my dad walked in and turned the tv off not a word spoken and walked out. We turned it back on.
Miss you at The Stranger, Matt. Hope you’re doing well.
Thanks for this. This gave me a new perspective on the last season. I was one of those that thought it was "too gay" (and I say this as a gay man) and that's why it was cancelled. But to see they just wanted to be realistic and show what so many people had never seen, really changes my views.
It was the time period, even Chaz Bono said it was too gay at the time 😂 I think we all had a lot of internalized homophobia back then
I cannot express how much I love this channel.
This is such an important topic. People don’t remember (or they weren’t born yet and can’t imagine) how huge this was, how hard it was, how scary it was. And also how WONDERFUL it was.
I have to also share that a couple years before Ellen came out, I knew a guy who went to high school with her and he told me she was gay. I mentioned it to a guy who was a fan of hers and he told me I was CRAZY to think that, that the dude was obviously lying about Ellen, that it was stupid, and that his gaydar would have picked up on it if there was anything there. Dumbass. 😂
This was awesome (no surprise there). I remember when that episode aired - it was wonderful! Huge Ellen fan most of my life. Thank you for another fantastic video!! Looking forward to your new book showing up at my home soon 😊
In the UK channel 4 had an entire weekend of programming dedicated to LGBTIQA.. it was amazing, they flew Ellen out with Anne and showed the episode live from Soho in London, they also spent the Friday till Sunday showing film, tv, shorts, quizes over the weekend. As a 16 year old in 97 it was perfect timing. The show was very popular in the UK
Just because a lot of people are sharing stories of awful parents, I want to say my family sat 8 year old me and my siblings down and we watched this together as a positive thing. I can remember my mom talking to me about why it mattered.
More parents should be like that. Sadly, it's probably still considered brave, when what it really is, is honest about the world and the people in it. ❤
Matt, Matt, Matt! You astound me with your ability to weave an intricate and compelling story. I love the work you do here so much. Thanks so much for reminding me that Ellen DeGeneres is a trail blazer and a hero to the Glib Qat community. 🙏❤😊
Ellen's coming out had a profound effect on me as a kid in the 90s, struggling with coming out as an LGBT individual (I was also two decades away from coming to terms with my true gender identity, which complicated things a great deal). I had a very brief period after she came out where I felt a little empowered and I thought "Could I actually do this? Maybe I can be that honest and true to myself?" that lasted for about a year while I tried to find the strength to come out.
And then the death of Matthew Shepard was all over the news and that was enough to keep me firmly locked in the closet for nearly a decade because I was only one state away from where he'd been killed and I was terrified that the same thing would happen to me if anyone even suspected I was gay. Years later, when I did come out, remembering Ellen being so brave in "The Puppy Episode" wasn't the biggest thing that helped me come out, but it was close. It was also in my mind when I came out as trans, because I thought "Ellen is so strong and if she had the strength to do this as a woman, then so do I."
Ok, hearing Lady Gaga singing "Free Woman" while reading words of encouragement from trans friends I'm now living with didn't hurt either. lol
Anyway, there's never been or will be anyone quite like Ellen, and her coming out story still has such a massive impact on the world, me included.
OK but Lezident clinton 😂😂😂 amazing
Just finished and I have to say this video was an epic walk down memory lane. Let's also call it- Matt had red, glossy eyes this whole video. Clearly this one meant a whole lot to him. I found it hard to not cry, myself. Metal🤘
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When Ellen came out of the closet, I was in a dark place, in a small bible belt town in Louisiana, surrounded by openly homophobic family, and I didn't even fully know what I was at the time, but because of my upbringing I had a Lot of Internalized Homophobia. So I kind of thought it was a publicity stunt etc and just sort of projected my own insecurities on what I perceived Ellen was doing at the time. It took me a long time to realize what I am, and its still a process of accepting myself and fighting my own internal homophobia to learn to love and accept myself. And Learning to understand what Ellen was actually going through, while I was making negative assumptions, is in a way helping me to heal. Thank you, Ellen Degeneres and Matt Baume
You might wanna retract your thanks to Ellen and keep it only to Matt
@@mohammedashian8094 what am I missing about Ellen?
@@archonfett that she’s a bully and a horrible person and not because she’s gay?
I was wondering when you'd get around to making this episode! Another truly phenomenal piece, Matt
I watched E! Doc on her show years ago. But thanks Matt for diving deeper into "The Puppy" episode and Ellen's career. I knew about the some of the struggles but not all of it. I love Ellen even more for what she stood for and tried to do. Incredible job.
that ellen and rosie interview is too much 🤣💞
God bless Robin Williams. What an absolute asset to all of humanity. One of the only celebrities I cried for when they passed.
Him, tony bourdain, and Tom petty.
Ellen is one of the people I'd like to thank in person some day for giving me representation growing up. She's kind of all I had for awhile. I would get home from school and watch her and The Simpsons since they ran next to each other.
Since you're from Seattle, #MattBaume, my roommate Ken and myself attended a watch party at "R Place" & when she said "Susan, I'm gay!" the roar and cheers from the bar was so loud that I swear the building shook!!
as a closeted 13 year old, I was similarly scared/excited for The Puppy Episode. And I vividly remember watching every episode of the 2001 CBS sitcom in a post-9/11 world... I thought it deserved more and was pretty good? Ellen, Cloris Leachman, and Martin Mull? Sign me up.
H.bomb sent me. This is some lovely work you do here, my dude.
It’s so sad that it’s 2023 and we find ourselves going back into the anti gay mindset of 1990’s
I was a closeted gay guy at a Christian college when this episode aired. I showed up early to claim the rights to the community TV so I could watch it, but there was already a group there. When I asked what they were planning to watch, the said they planned to watch the Ellen episode! I was so excited and I’m still friends with several people that were in that group. It took me nearly 10 years to come out myself, and I had to leave religion to make it happen, but I finally did it! And I never forgot those people gathered to celebrate a gay character coming out on TV!
I remember the "controversy" of Ellen coming out. I don't remember if I saw the episode because I never thought of it as being important. I just remember thinking, it's about time people stopped being closeted. It's nothing to be ashamed of and to hell with bigots who disagreed.
I hadn't realized until watching this video how important it was and how gut wrenching the whole experience was for her. So glad it all worked out. Thank you Matt, for making this video. And thank you Ellen, for having the strength and courage to do what you did and help so many others who were also struggling to find a little thing called happiness.
Thank you so much for reminding me of how powerful Ellen's coming out process was. I had forgotten a lot of the details. It was so amazing, what she did. The children don't even know.
That Ellen documentary has more Dutch angles than Battlefield Earth 😮
I’m subscribed but this video never showed up on my feed. Glad I checked your page.
i wait literally with excitement when u drop another video love them!
I can't tell you how much I look forward to your videos, Matt. Keep up the good work!
Another great video! Was so happy to see it come up, as the sitcom changed my life. Especially the final season showing her in her first same sex relationship.
Could you please tell me where I can watch her speech to the crew? I've never known about it or seen that clip (25:08) and would love to!
I have absolutely fallen in love with these videos would love to see one about the weirdest place to find good representation in a modern sitcom, and that being always sunny.
This episode was amazing. Love the story about you watching and getting inspired to come out. Beautiful 🥹
how grateful i am to have grown up with my mom watching ellen's talk show some weekends, rather than when she was being blacklisted and harrassed. this video just emphasised how much the world has changed in such a short time.