How can I get over my fear of being judged in therapy? Website/YouTube Wednesday!
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- Опубликовано: 16 дек 2014
- I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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Whenever I fear judgment in therapy I just remember, she’s seen everything. This is not gonna be the most shocking anecdote or whatever.
Hopefully that's true, sometimes its a bit of a mixed bag therapists. some good some not so much
it can be the opposite though right, it could be you feel like your problems are not such a big deal and you look silly struggling
@@mery5989 i have that
@mery Exactly. I work in mental health field myself and hear trauma stories that are horrific, as I know my therapist does, and I can't help but fear my own experiences won't seem valid in comparison.
They are still judge your behavior as you made or are making a mistake
I love the first and second questions because I can relate to them so much. I'm currently in the 'I don't know' phase or actually knowing but too afraid to say for being judged... but working really hard to overcome it.
Last week I came up with an idea that I think will be really helpful! I created a book specifically for therapy and on the first page I wrote 'Discuss in Therapy' and listed all the things I want to discuss and all the things I struggle with. Underneath I put 'Weekly' and I use sticky notes to list the things I want to bring up during the next session. On another page I made a Trauma Timeline and I drew pictures to represent most of my traumas as well as put a brief note about each one on the page... this will make it easier for me so I don't have to explain things aloud. I also made a 'Mood Tracker' so that each week when I'm asked how my week went I will have it in the book so I can say more than just 'I don't remember,' or 'Fine, I guess.'
I showed it to my therapist last week (I was still in the process of making it so didn't let her read it closely yet) and she loved it. I told her that my goal is to give the book to her and have her look at the things I'm dealing with and my traumas and then ask me questions from there. She loved the idea and I think it's going to be so helpful in the sessions because I feel like the hardest part for me is putting things out there... once I do it's (hopefully) easier to talk about them. Maybe you can try something like that? I imagine taking the book in with me weekly and reading from my sticky notes and when it's too hard for me to come out and say what I want to talk about, I can just hand it to her instead... while covering my face and having a slight anxiety attack while she reads it. Hehe. :)
That's awesome! I want to do that! Thank you for the idea❤❤❤
That is such a creative idea!!! Writing is definitely therapeutic!!!
I think my brain is damaged because for me it does not make any difference if I say something or if I give my therapist a written thing. It is equally terrifying. What now? :/
Hi Kati,
I keep seeing online that my therapist will eventually terminate therapy, like kick me out of the nest when I don’t need therapy anymore. Thinking about my therapist ending therapy one day is freaking me out. Like why keep going, opening up to her if she’s just going to leave me eventually? It makes me want to leave therapy before she leaves me. I know this probably sounds crazy but I can’t stop thinking about it. Thanks for reading. 😊
I just found this channel... instead of doing my homework for school tomorrow, I have been binge watching your videos for hours! I have watched at least 35! This is my new addiction (x
Anonymous Anonymous
I have binged watched her videos a lot. She is very informative about many different parts of psychology.
Anonymous Anonymous this is my new addiction too!
I love her videos ... She makes me feel comfortable.
I might have another answer for question 3 that you didn't mention, at least I always thought this was why I wish for an illness: it's a way to justify the way I feel. I feel like I shouldn't be complaining, I shouldn't feel this bad, and I always feel this pressure of overwhelming emotions inside that I have no way of dealing with and don't show ("I would have never thought.. you dont seem like theres anything wrong with you" is always the first thing I hear when I tell people I'm in therapy).. If I had a serious illness, maybe people would believe me and understand how much I'm hurting, and also it would be justified to be hurting. It would also be so simple to explain why I struggle, because as it is I am so confused and overwhelmed.
Yooo thank you so much for writing this, i feel shitty about feeling shitty bc there's people that are in a worse place i just dont know
True! And many times the thought of developing chronic illness also comes to our mind (atleast mine) just to expect a drastic change in life, because life feels boring sometimes. And we feel that bringing that drastic and infact positive change in life, voluntarily maybe difficult or exausting. So, we welcome the thought of, however negative but an involuntary, change in the life momentarily.
About hoping that you got cancer: Perhaps it could also be because the person doesn't feel that his/her emotions are justified, but that they wouldn't judge themselves if they got really ill or don't think that others would judge them in the same way.
I always have the opposite problem, too much to talk about. Sometimes I feel like I am being cut off like I didn't even get through everything I wanted to say and now I an being thrown out with stuff to ruminate on all week. New things will come up threw out the week which will compile, and I feel really overwhelmed.
I'd hate to think that therapists would judge the people who came to them for support. But I suppose that goes to show that everyone is human first, and (insert profession here) second.
Kati me and my therapist were talking about coping mechanisms today and I mentioned that I watch your channel. She asked who you are and I told her what your channel's all about. She loves what you're doing and is going to watch some videos and tell her other clients about you! :D
Omg the first question is EXACTLY what I need help with right now. So glad I found this !
This was reassuring lol I've been pretty much traumatized by my old high school counselor. She always seemed very judgemental and impatient with me when I went to talk with her and it really turned me away from wanting to see someone after that. I'm sure if I went to see a professional now it'd be a lot better but I've always been afraid of seeming whiny for going to talk with someone.
Mallory Dinkins ikr? Some so-called therapists are really judgemental, and give you some "wtf" looks, I really liked my previous therapist because she proved to me that not all are like this, she really seemed to understand. Though she didn't do CBT and my anxiety wasn't going away so I'm on the hunt for a new one.
Acceptance. Often I feel like I shouldn’t be feeling the way I am, I should be more productive, I should be doing this or that. I get depressed about being depressed. My therapist said I need to stop thinking about how I SHOULD feel and act, and to accept how things are and do my best anyway.
i never thought of that. i never thought "i wish i had cancer" but i've thought about breaking bones and injuries and what i would do and what would happen. maybe, though i have great people in my life i am looking for affection because honestly when it comes to my mental state, i feel like i get talked to so sternly vs when i am sick with a flu.
I have therapy every two weeks, so I sometimes have difficulty knowing what is most prevalent in my life. So much happens in those two weeks that it's in a jumble to get out when I see her.
ive struggled with being judged alot considering when i try to open up ive been ignored or laughed at over becausev of my issues, this video helped me alot.
I think my word for 2015 is "momentum." With my college graduation, 2014 was a big year of transition for me, and it started off with some really intense anxiety and panic attacks. The remainder of the year has been about getting back up and facing my fear of failure before entering grad school. I've made a lot of progress and have grown tremendously during that time, and want to keep that going next year. Couldn't have done it without your videos, Kati! :)
I haven't specifically wished to have cancer, but I know when I'm depressed, I like to find "bad things" and dwell in them. Maybe because I would then feel justified in feeling depressed? So like, if I had cancer, then maybe everyone would understand why I'm so sad and can barely function. (Feeling misunderstood, and invalidated, is a big issue for me.)
But I could also see the thought process of, like Kati said, "if I had cancer, then maybe everyone would give me the love and attention I'm craving right now while I'm in pain."
Mine is "joy". To strive to incorporate small things daily that make me feel joyful. Thanks for the idea!
My word: LISTEN. To myself. :)
hello! to anyone reading this regarding the difficulty in bringing topics up with your therapist, I've found that whenever i make lists about topics i want to talk about, instead of just writing down a word or two on what the topic is, it helps to write out the sentence we can say to get the conversation started. its less stressful bringing up topics when you know what youre going to say, because then the therapist can take it from there and we can expect a broader range of reactions. for example, instead of just 'my depression', we could say 'ive been eating less and sleeping less recently, and i think it might be depression'. whenever we're stressing about what to say, its easier to plot and dwell on a specific sentence and gain the courage to say it, instead of stumbling on words in the moment! happy day ^^
I wrote out three topics and words that described how I felt in the moment ... folded it up and gave it to my therapist to read after our session so she could prep for later sessions
that last one is an amazing idea. i always get super stressed out by new years resolutions because deadlines stress me out. i'm gonna think long and hard about what my 2019 word will be.
This is so amazing! I feel so much better after listening to what you say! You are so funny and so kind! Love ya❤️
Thank you Kati Morton. You really helped me a lot with what I’ve been going through lately. You’re awesome. -Anna
I love the art on the wall in the background of this video. It looks like a representation of the human personality....multifaceted/formed from many pieces; busy yet vague, with muted colours on the periphery; and bright and defined in the center. I always feel that mental-health professionals' art has more meaning than just esthetics...like it's chosen to be provocative, and in itself therapeutic.
Of course, I also enjoyed the content of the video, too :) Thank you.
I love the first question! Thank you
My word for 2015 is TRUST
All three questions touched me very deeply. I'm in a deep depression, have an issue too shameful to take to my CBT therapist, and I just had hand surgery yesterday and really needed that extra care and comforting only a good nurse could provide. My therapist just broke her ankle so I have to try to hold on until I can get an appt with her. You help fill that gap. I appreciate your energy and compassion for all of us. Do you have any words or guidance to help me get through the next few weeks? Thank you Kati for all you do.
Thank you Katie. I always wondered why I speak poetically and wishing for something tragic. Turns out, I simply want others to pay more attention to me.
I would like to say some things but i don't wont to bring some one down.
there are some thing your still not seeing. you are very nice person thank you for calling us clients not patients that means a lot.
I just started my 1on 1 therapy after 6 group sessions, my therapist asked if I would feel more comfortable if she came to my apt., which I was like "HELL YEAH!" On top of depression and psychosis I also have anxiety when I go out due to a social phobia called agoraphobia and show up at the clinic stressed out. I have no problem talking about any topic including my suicidal thoughts, as an introvert I prefer deeper conversations rather than one sentence back and forth bs that goes nowhere.
Anywho, good vid, good advice, thanks. My word for 2016 was Humility (self acceptance) in 2017 it was Hope, in 2018 I think Positivity will be my main focus, staying positive takes up a lot of energy.
I think my word for 2015 will be... Courage.
First of all I would like to say thanks to you for all your really helpful videos! They gave and also give me the opportunity to create an awareness for mental health problems which is very important to me cause I struggle with depression and anxiety.
I am also used to this feeling of being scared of judgement especially being judged by my therapist. Sometimes I'm overthinking certain phrases she mentioned in our last session which totally leads to the fact that I'm getting worse. Luckily my therapist offered me to talk about every worry so whenever I have to think about a special expression she said to me I am going to ask her how she did mean this before I'll find me creating scenarios in my head. From my point of view this is a very effective to avoid misunderstandings.
Also, sorry for my English I'm not a native speaker. Hopefully someone will be able to understand me.
So glad I found you today. 😆 Love your videos.
Mine is presence too Kati! X
My therapist has me do a diary card and I sent it to her the morning I see her. For some reason, getting started on talking about stuff is hard but when I write it, it helps and then I'm able to get going on talking about the subject(s) I want to talk about. I always write it in a word document and my therapist and I have a agreed upon password so I can password protect it when I send it to her. Her e-mail account IS hippa compliant but I just like to password protect it for extra security. If your therapist doesn't like you to email him or her, you can print it out at the end of the week.
Unconditional positive regard. As I understand it, whatever you say to a therapist, they will not judge you and will still hold you in high esteem. It’s key. A therapist has to try and convey this, make it safe, and that takes time, but I feel there must be a way to speed this up.
I trained in the 80’s and remember with horror doing ‘trust’ exercises, including falling backwards, from height into the arms of fellow group members........i did it, but as I have, at 58 just discovered, it didn’t work.
Trust is just huge, and it has taken me 2 years of “courtship” as he put it, to get to a point that I can trust someone in therapy, again.
There are, sadly, people working in mental health who ought not to be. Once someone’s trust has been bruised, its hellish to build it up.
Trust may, as with me, go deeper, way back. That’s the bit to look at, and I think instead of dipping my toes, its a jump and plunge into the cold, shocking waters.......
Doing therapy via Zoom or whatever app, despite my serious reservations, has been quite amazing and, you actually have much control, important when we fear being judged.....having a safety valve, ie LEAVE ROOM or less drastic, cover your camera, it helps just knowing it’s there. A little like having a well designed therapy room, a clear route to the exit is important. It’s worth the hourly rate, and during Covid restrictions safe. X
Question 3: I just pressed paused on the video. I do relate a lot. I don't so much wish for a terminal illness, such as Cancer, but I feel as though I have one and am dying, and need to be reconciled with this. I actually feel the same way as my friend, who died of Cancer in 2010, described feeling. I have chronic physical illness, as well as mental health issues, and daily survival can be so hard. I don't think that it is so much a real belief that I have a terminal disease, but it's more of a feeling. It's quite hard to accurately explain. I just relate to the feelings of accepting that I am dying, and feeling sad but at peace with it. I don't know if it's partly because I can't handle that I've lost friends to Cancer, and also lost other friends because they have just left. I have many attachment/abandonment issues. It is complicated, but I don't really act on it and have mainly dealt with the emotions and thoughts through writing and reading poetry. I still self-harm sometimes, and do get suicidal thoughts, but am not actually planning to commit suicide. I did attempt, but that was a long time ago.
I have things to say to my therapist, I have things I want to say- but unless it's in the moment or immediately after i have trouble recognizing and validating exactly what I'm feeling, that goes for my feelings about my therapist and my life. So i know i have problems but I can't always articulate what they are- and when I do I feel judged. She talks to me like I'm a bad person while putting up a guise of understanding... I see her today and I'm nervous... She canceled our last session which really upset me. I don't feel like I'm going to be able to enplane how i feel and I'm afraid that she's not going to help me get better.
I don't know who to believe, because so many people have given a prospective on what's wrong with me, I don't even know what's wrong with me, some people think I'm one thing, and some people think I'm another, and a lot of people for some reason give off a vibe that they think I'm a bad person once I've opened up, always adults, all the people my age seem to understand...
She defended my old therapist who was a jerk to me. Everyone else agrees that she's a jerk. But she's basically admitted to knowing her in person. They're probably friends.
Kailah Birchler Wow... I'm so sorry. That sounds like a terrible experience! It sounds like you've already tried switching therapists, but maybe just don't give up. Keep looking for someone who understands, because if they're not helping you and they're making you feel that way then it's missing the whole point of therapy anyways.
I have been thinking about going to therapy and I also have had a fear of being judged if I did so thank you
I have a really weird problem. Like...I'm bilingual (Russian and English). And I feel quite ok talking about very personal stuff in English, but I just find it impossible to do this in Russian. Even though I speak both of this languages on the same level. It seems like I have some sort of a block, I almost feel it physically. And my therapist is russian, so that is a problem.
That's not weird at all! If you do some research you'll see it happens to every bilingual
Omg i have the same thing. I'm not alone 😅. I'm Dutch but I'm fluent in English and can almost only express what I feel in English.
Same with me! Im turkish but i express myself better in english for some reason
i relate to this! i’m fluent in spanish and english but for some reason i can only express how i feel in spanish!
I've read a tweet about this, saying that the language we can't express ourselves in freely is actually the one we are more emotionally attached with than the other (native language for example) So, if we are expressing something which is harsh on us, this will be more difficult than saying it with the other language because we feel it like double somehow.
My word for 2014 was "Change". Now I am still trying to figure out my word for 2015
Good way to push yourself is to write on your homework particular points and have your therapists review the sheets.
They then read out your questions and force you into addressing the topic.
I did that with sexual abuse I never wanted to mention but having my therapist read it out got my to bring up the subject
Happy Holidays Kati! I hope you get my card I sent you soon!
Hey Katy.
You said that maybe if there's moments of silence then that's a sine that maybe you don't need therapy anymore. well i don't think so..
I have moment at therapy that I get stuck and don't know how to bring up the hard stuff its not that I don't need therapy anymore its just that I get awkward and scared what might my therapist think of me.
I don't want to have these thoughts it just comes to me.
Any tips what I can do to open up more and not be afraid to speak up to her??
I would really appreciate it if you can reply. Thank you.
I love your channel very much. you give great tips.
shoshy schneiderman I so agree with this. I have so much to say in those moments of silence but I get stuck.
I have been seeing my therapist almost my whole life ... once you take that first step it is not so scary. I look forward to my sessions. Give it a GO!
I finally fired my therspist. Happy about that. Our relationship was pretty unhealthy for my recovery.
I love that Starbucks picture, lol!
Several years ago someone wrote in to Ann Landers inquiring about the chances of finding a competent therapist. She answered that it was about the same as finding a competent plumber or electrician, 50/50. Incompetent therapists need to be hounded from the profession. Please document your experience on yelp dot com, and don't be afraid to name names.
Thanks Katie I cant afford a therapist n Austin wont pay for one till I detox off meth but Ur Awesome! LOVE YOUR VIDEO THEY CALM ME DOWN .
Hey Katie, thank you for bringing up that question of woman wishing she has cancer. It's been a while i'm having some ideation of i don't care if i get too sick even though i'm feeling i should see a doctor.. Plus i wasn't aware how it might be relevant to bring it to my therapist..
My word for the year is nurture
My word is writing because I want to write more. I really want to write a novel, but anything I write is better than writing nothing, so that's my word. I want to read more too, which all ties in really. Happy Xmas/New Year. :-)
I can relate to the second question. Not so much that I'd get a disease, but more that I would get hurt in say a car accident or robbed at work. I feel like it is because I want more attention and love from my husband.
hi..so i'm a new subscriber and i've never asked a question before but sometimes when i'm hanging out with my close friends, i always get this feeling where i want to talk to them about what's going on and how i'm felling but i can never get myself to do so. so i was wondering if you could give me some tips on how to get myself to open up more to them?
I was in a rehab a few months ago and I was so shy and scared I couldn’t speak a word. Literally. Within the first week a Counselor Assistant was frustrated because I wouldn’t speak, but I was terrified of judgement. Even I was frustrated with myself. I’ve been through sexual, physical and emotional abuse and trauma for more than 10 years and I’m 22. My family is dysfunctional and I’m extremely depressed and suicidal. I have many issues and I freak out and stumble with words. I eventually left the rehab but now I feel so guilty that I didn’t open up.
Do you know anyone who’s a nice therapist that I can connect with in Florida or New York? Or is it possible I can do therapy with you? Because you’re the most understanding and professional therapist Ive seen. And I really do need help.
It's been 2 years I hope your doing better now!
Sometimes a therapist is judging us. For example, yesterday my therapist kept telling me the real reason I help people so much was totally not what I truly felt I was doing it for. I expect one of us in my family to show up when there is someone in a dire situation. And if no one can then I automatically will be the one. To me it's a strong loyalty and commitment I would expect from any family member or close friend. My therapist insisted it was not that but rather another reason about fitting in. Pretty much was adamant about it. I actually tried to be open minded to her thought but was taken aback by how she was right in her mind and not me. She did that for 4 different things. Couldn't help but feel she was influenced from my sibling who also sees her. Threw me off. Triggered me a bit. I have complex ptsd.
I don't like that your therapist did that, wouldn't you be better off with another therapist? I don't think I would be able to trust her with my issues anymore.
Anyway, I wish you luck
8
Thanks gurl😋
Me 2015 word is "Awareness"
i followed you on Twitter!!😆
resilience
HELLO BOSS
LOVELY SMILE
OH IVE BEEN NOTICING YOUR WISDOM?
XX
Hi Kati I’m a new subscriber and I want to know how does someone recover from a failed suicide attempt? I’ve had a few over the years and I keep playing it over and over in my head. I want to get back on my feet I just don’t know how.
My word for 2015 will be "change"!
I think my word will be communication.
My theme word will be "motivation"
i'm afraid of revealing too much with anyone... that i'm talking too much about myself too much almost like i am giving out my secrets without them being secrets and this causes me to go over my conversations over and over again..
About the judging thing. Yes you see all sorts of issues, but what if I don't have an issue. What if I'm just ridiculously sensitive or selfish or something.
💯 On question #3
I like u. U ate awesome and my therapist likes u
My word is Forgive:)
Im so scared to talk about anything ( fear of judgment) i feel like if they know that i'm not confident they wont like me or love me anymore and i know it sounds so stupid but that what goes on in my head. And sometimes the things i wanna talk about are kind of taboo in where i live ( i live in saudi arabia) so im afraid that they'll think that i'm this bad person and hate me
#katifaq
Hey kati. I hope you have a lovley Christmas and a fab new year. Xox
Here's my question. How do I place healthy boundaries between me and my tutors I'm likely to get attached too at university? I'm already slipping up and it's starting to hurt :(
How do I know if i myself is over stepping boundaries?
Thank you
Looooooooooooooveee yooouuuuuuuuuu 💖🎄 xoxoxox
Thanks now I gotta share my embarrassing story
hi kati, im a new subscriber and I hope you see this , so I went to counseling a few years ago and need to go again since I have started self harm but I'm afraid of being afraid. I don't know if you get that. I want to tell them everything but don't know what to do or say , would you have any tips to get the conversation started
My word for 2015 Trust
I'm also a new subscriber. :-)
I think my word will be balance. :) because I don't have to be super skinny or work all the time or eat only "healthy foods" right? Balance is what I need.
Hi Kati I love you :)
My therapist told me that she is shocked at many things I tell her. So I'm being judged and I know it. I'm so done.
Hey Kati here's my question:
I have BPD and when I have a "Rage", after I often forget some things that I said and did during it. Is it normal? Because It scares me sometimes
Hi. Thanks for your videos and topics. I have questions but see that the videos I am watching are viewed years ago. Too late or still ok to ask?
My word will be confidence. Cause I have none
I know the first question is slightly different, but with my last therapist (sucky for a couple of reasons) it seemed like I was supposed to be the sole driver of my own therapy. Like, the whole reason in therapy is because my brain has a whole lot of trauma and mental/emotional pain and I want to fix itbut don't know how so hence therapy. So I tell the therapist that and I was prepared to do any work that I needed to get better. But then therapist seems to forget that I told him what I wanted to work on (again, he was kinda sucky) and every few sessions was like "you're not bringing anything up really so I feel that maybe there's actually no reason for you to be in therapy". I'm in therapy because there's so much I'm struggling with, I want the therapist to guide me/teach me how to deal with it. Where's the line between "the therapist is there to guide you on recovery" and "you have to tell your therapist everything"??
Sorry for a mini rant... just was a pretty bad experience
When it comes to shame, I have some problems of mentioning certain things. It's just sooo embarrassing. I want to, but it is soo difficult.
However, then there are other things where I simply don't trust her enough. When I try to talk about different topics there will always be things where it just doesn't work with a certain therapist. That's why I personally think it's so important to go to several therapists.
But ... What I find hard is when all therapists, all friends and all on-line help sources say the same thing and you still disagree!
So, I can get overwhelmed when I try to say what is in my mind, heart, and spirit.
Yes that me I want to talk about things
I am Indian,i big fans of you
Hi Kati, I was wondering what to do if it seems there is always a crisis in your life and you never get down to the root of your problems in therapy. Should I not talk about the current situation so that I can resolve some past trauma?Hope this makes sense I feel like a constant problem. Michelle
I do my best to talk about the thing. But I still have one thing I haven’t been able to talk about. He knows about it, I’m wondering if we’re working around it or up to it. Who knows
I think of those life threatening thoughts sometimes. But most the time I think of bad things happening to my family. I tell myself to stop thinking that way and try to ignore it. But I just keep thinking of sceneries in which I’m the reason for heir death or regretting something I’ve done. Or finding a reason why I struggle the way I do. I’ve been experiencing a lot of PTSD-like symptoms and it makes me wonder why bc I don’t remember any trauma that happened but a part of me wants a reason so I know that I’m not “crazy”. Anyone else feel this way?
Hey Kati, I have a very important question. Should I tell my family I'm in therapy? In some small ways, I want to tell them, but at the same time I feel they'll think I'm crazy if I do? I already had one bad panick attack when my aunt almost walked in on mu therapy session over the phone recently and I wonder if they were informed, if things would be easier, or harder?
Me likes to write down in my tablet during the week questions thoughts are problems me is having and will show it to me therapist when me sees them.. Also if me is feeling to shy to let them read what me wrote me takes it a way from them quickly.. but it lets me say what me needs to say or am stuck on
i had a tharipy seshon monday then had a panic atack right after my heart was raceing i was cold when it was worm
For that journal, I feel my word for 2020 would be "rebirth".
I know this is a super old video, but i have been wondering... should i come out to my therapist? I've been closeted for my whole life and i think that has been a huge toll on my mental health but i have never told anyone about it, not even my best friend, so idk, like even saying it out loud only to myself feels bad and wrong :(
What bothers me is that if I go they may not care when I’m already in an iffy state of mind, or they just won’t understand my perspective.
How am I meant bring thing up in therapy as much but things are hard I always bring things up
My former therapist called me lazy! He was a total jerk to me. Now the new one only believes I have grief & then she wants to taper my medications off which is totally bs when I suffer from panic disorder & have other mental illnesses. Also how can I be assured that my therapist won't judge me?
as for the cancer thing I get that too, more specifically, breastcancer as I'm Transgender so I can loi da e my breast with out the huge cost
#KatiFAQ Watching this vid, I thought of something... You said your office was by the beach and it was supposed to be cosy and so on. There might be a view to the beach and ocean ... however ... a person like myself (who hates large amounts of water) will feel really freaked out. So what could a person like this do if they really like their therapist, but something in the therapist's office / the area where the therapist works/ triggers them? Can we ask the therapist for some change.. or we should just explain to them what's going on and we don't like, leave and look for a therapist "in a safer area"?
If someone has been abused/traumatized or has made suicide attempts in a home, would it be bad for that person to be in that environment?
What do you do if a friend self harms?