Pumps' Clandestine Dating Life
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- Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
- The Princess of Podcasting tries online dating (completely against her will).
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Chapters:
0:36 What we've had it with
7:24 Hammered dog shit
10:03 Kiley reads reviews
13:59 Ad Break
17:31 Dating horror story
19:02 Pumps would dry hump Dexter
19:43 Suprise! You're on the dating apps
26:11 Farmers Only
32:33 Ad Break
34:54 The Right Stuff
52:02 Outro
Follow Us:
I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast
Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch
Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps
Ladies you are way too hard on yourselves. All I could think about doing the Kamala interview was how proud I was of you fellow Oklahomans interviewing our first female vice president!
I was so proud too. I call these wonderful ladies " my Internet friends" because I feel connected to them.
Let me let y’all know something, this is the podcast/video channel I have been waiting for. You two are the mothers this southern gay boy didn’t know he needed. Not only are you an ally, but your willingness to also be an accomplice for our community means the absolute world. On top of that, you have re-inspired me to start my podcast, a gay southern cooking and conversation show I am calling Glitter & Biscuits! Much love always ❤
Please let me know when you start it. I will sub❤
Just let us know when you start publishing it! I will listen! 💜
Oh we wanna support down bad this pod is boutta be epic
"[...]age range to 20-80."
"GAG"
pumps, the way I HOWLED.
The second guy wanting a women with traditional conservative values but also wants her to pay on the first date and make 80k a year. 😂😂😂😂 I’m fucking crying over here
FJB = Eff Joe Biden, that would be my guess. Great show ladies, the last time I laughed this hard was your last show. Cheers from Ontario, Canada!
So right, I haven't laughed this hard since the last ep! Love it
Over. People who put the paper upside down are sociopaths.
The only time the under toilet paper roll is acceptable is if someone has a cat
Or dog. My mom’s German shepherd unspooled toilet paper all the way through the house. I grew up with it under, but do it over now because it disturbs the sensibilities of so many people. I don’t get though. I can’t understand why it’s such a big deal.
Lol just commented that is under tp bothers you, you've probably never had cats
Oh no! The "if" thing! The worst part is NO ONE ever thinks about "if". I think we should start. Think of all the possibilities! Another day - shot to hell!
@@peacefulpossum2438 Neither can I. It's toilet paper.
🙌
The dating segment had me crying!😂😂 please make this ongoing!!
Pumps and jen laughing is such a cure for depression 😌🤣
Love the laughter!
I wish we had Door Dash in the UK!
Those dates are all narcissistic! And possibly serial killers! Dont do it Pumps!
I darent laugh too loud its 5.30 in the morning and i dont want to wake the hubsandroid!
PLEASE make this a regular segment I have been in tears the entire episode 😭 God bless Angela Dawn
KILEY! Go put Pumps on a lesbian dating app ASAP!
Over , the right way is the only way for toilet paper... ❤️💚💜🇨🇦
These Patriot beauties bring a smile to face with every episode I watch . Feeling blessed America has these sweethearts of RUclips to enjoy.
A-freakin-men! Saludos from a New Yawker in BCN
I just love starting my day with these great patriots!
I too have fixed the toilet paper direction rotation issue and pondered both of those questions. “What’s wrong with them? What’s wrong with ME??” 😂😂😂
No apologies! Another mark of a psychopath is their toilet paper coming from underneath. I've already pointed out the ketchup all over everything symptom, and here's another. I hope you're all taking notes.
I don't like ketchup so that's a pro, yes ?...........but then....I'm an under paper girl 😂😂 what else is on the Psycopath list. Taking notes.
Can we get a 5 minute mix of Jen and Pumps saying Toilet?
@@quiltygal6981 What else is on the psychopath check list? Disagreeing with these positions, obviously! But you get a point towards normality for not putting ketchup on inappropriate things. If you saw my note regarding ketchup, you know that people who like Heinz ketchup are okay, while only psychopaths like Hunt's. These things are subtle and require vigilance and an eye for detail.
@@mosaics2024 girl, it has to be Heinz. However, I put ketchup on my Kraft Mac and cheese and my grilled cheese so you’d hate me anyways 😂🤷🏼♂️
Edit just to say it’s over for me only though. And I will change it if I see it in others 👍🏼❤️
PUMPS GOT THE CLAP WITHOUT PrEP!!!!!
Also, as a gay man, if I was at a wedding with J&P, I'd be livid if they weren't sat at the gay table. That would be plain homophobic.
Lol. That would be homophobic... so good ❤
God, pumps got the clap, lololol
I'm an over toilet paper and WE are in the right because we are correcting an injustice. We are toilet paper justice warriors!!
Yes, and in fact, the original patent for toilet paper shows it goes over.
I do understand though, some people do under because their pets unroll the paper when it's over.
@@evettejohnson6698 This is no excuse and only adds improper training of pets to the list of egregious errors. Toilet paper justice warriors can't give in to wooly thinking.
@@mosaics2024 I never said it was right or acceptable, but I do understand why they do it.
Agreed. One might even say we are toilet paper patriots! 😂😂
Hotels: toilet paper is always rolled over. Correct standard.
and the leading sheet is folded into a nice point. Which I do at public toilets.. even campsites. I am not an animal...lol ( maybe weird and a bit ocd )
No!
Hey ladies! I love the show as always. I will just say that I have never in my life been more grateful that I am gay than I am right now in this moment. Because I can't imagine being a woman and having to choose from the matches that Pumps had. 😂😂 They were all just so terrible.
This is basically gonna be an Astroglide commercial isn't it...
I hope so. My man just used spit last night.
@@JAHughes1988Adam!!! 🫣
@@JAHughes1988 so, you're looking for a new man, right?
@@sechmet987 nope. He's a good one, overall...ha!
Classic!!!
I totally change the toilet paper. I'm like Pump's & change other people's toilet paper. 😂😂
Couldn’t stop watching. Made me 20 minutes late for a job interview, but I was in a jovial mood when I arrived
i was dying this whole episode 😭 so fucking funny
It sounds like memaw found a new husband on farmers only 😂
One of the funniest episodes yet! Pump's laugh always gets me giggling too. I think the dude who wants a wife 'just like Melania' is my fav. Shows what MAGA men really admire about Dump.
Trump gives horrible people the guts to show who they really are.
You are both totally correct about toilet paper. I've usually tried to hold myself back from changing it at other people's houses, but occasionally I've done so. Mea culpa!
You're interview with the vice president was awesome and I didn't notice you looking anything other than your usual lovely well-coifed, beautifully made up selves.
Australia here! Come in spring/summer! You'll love it ❤
This makes me want to make a Farmers Only account just to match with Pumps ❤😂
I think the only people that switch the toilet paper are the ones that like it over. I’m guilty as well lol
I don't say anything to anyone I just change it. Lol
I’m glad that they got to the analogy between the toilet paper and religion by themselves 😅 I was already cringe-laughing at the hypocrisy 😂
I go to people's home and fix their under-TP shitshow
I never do that, but I do readjust toothpaste tubes that have been squeezed from the middle! 😆
@@seanryan3020 🤣🤣😆
Made me laugh out loud fr❤
Over - we are civilized people. Same with using coasters, compulsively.
Favorite episode yet!! This NEEDS to be a regular thing 😂
You both looked great with Kamala Harris! You're being very hard on yourselves!
This episode is gold standard 😂. Also, the military reference was FJB…as in f Joe Biden…the mating call of the right 😂😂
My boyfriend came to where I was because of my laughing my head off with the dating section. Please do a 2nd part!!!
I just spent the weekend with my niece and her family. Her husband always blows his nose at the table. I was disgusted. Blowing nose at the table is much worse than picking teeth.
🤮
sniffing is not tolerable 💦
No way! That's gross. Someone needs to have a word with him
Angela Dawn, is the best patriot gal that any man can have 🦅🇺🇲🦅🇺🇲🦅
Toilet paper: Over.
Paper towels: Over.
Toilet paper: Under
Paper towels: Vertical 😂😂
Mine are sideways, so...great holder, I guess!
Ah yes, the modern paper towel placement conundrum!
In a vertical paper towel holder, which direction should the towels come off the roll when pulled?
My take: I prefer mine to pull from the left: when looking at the towel roll in the vertical holder, tip your head to the left, ear to shoulder, so when looking at the paper towels from that horizontal perspective, the roll of towels is in an “over” position; the proper position for _any_ type of paper-on-a-roll product (except when cats are involved, of course). 😉
@@Cheryl_in_TX your degree will be awarded! Except when cats are involved....🙄😹
I never thought about paper towels but you are 100 percent right. This goes in the Permanent Record. Lol
Ladies…found your podcast about a month ago and have been binge watching as many episodes as possible! TY for the endless laughter and your support for the LGBTQ community. Please consider Wilmington NC for future tours. (Wilson Center) OH…& Over or Under? Momma always said “under” cause if a spider decides to nest it will hide in the crack of the few sheets hanging “over”. Those outhouse days are long gone momma. No spiders in the crack! LOL. Hugs to you 3 from Jim Schweizer
You all had this patriot on a journey with the dating profile read 😂
Can believe yall couldn’t figure out what FJB means on a conservative dating app of all places! 😂
Also, the owner of that app is the ABSOLUTE WORSTTT
not gonna lie the heifer guy sounds like a catch! loved this segment haha
IKR 😅
PLEASE STAY: I NEED YOU ALL FOR MY SOBRIETY 🎉
These profiles are making me sick. Pumps, good luck with that!
I'm sitting here in Australia laughing about toilet paper. I have 2 toilets, mine is an under room, the one my husband mainly uses is an over one. I just think under is neater, it fits in with my ( obviously psychopathic) brain. 😂😂
Angela Dawn Heffer
Be scared...there are far too many of them...LMFAO...and some do have teeth.
Jen and Pumps would make a great online dating profile editors for men.
I would take it one step further and say that teeth picking shouldn’t happen anywhere where other people are present. Sat and listened to my MIL pick her teeth in my living room for about 20 minutes the other evening. Thought I’d lose my mind.
It's the worst thing on the Planet?!!
Agreed.. no teeth picking, no nose blowing or picking, no hair brushing.. I don't even like it when one pulls out a mirror to reapply lipstick... If you're at a restaurant, go to the lavatory or car for your grooming . If you're at your own home, do what ya want. But know that your guests are nauseated . gag 🤮
I walk around my apartment complex and neighborhood for a half mile while brushing my teeth. It’s multitasking. I’m trying to get natural light into my eyeballs as I wake up while getting some steps in which may be the only steps I get all day and my overpriced south Florida apartment is filled with toxic black mold so it’s imperative for me to get fresh air when I first get up.
TP over. Long time ago I worked at a chain motel and over was the rule. And it had to be folded to a triangle. 😅
Agree with the TP being over. I too will flip.
Definitely over!
I want to be these ladies when I grow up, like when I realllllly grow up
I'm absolutely setting up a profile for my bestie... this was awesome 😂
I’m an under gal…it’s got to do with physics. It’s easier to stop a roll in motion with more precision and I use less product.
I’m going to be a fan and subscriber FOR LIFE. I’m sure you ladies looked fine. You live and learn hire someone to travel and do your hair and makeup it’s a tax write off and it’s worth it 💙💙💙👍🏽👍🏽 love you bye
Listening Australian here!!! Please come to Brekky in Brisbane (not Brisbayne) and I’ll be there with bells on❤
As an Aussie gay man, love you gals, and I'm sure Foxtrot Julian Bravo would be Fu*! Joe Biden...and Gary, with all your tools at hand, you still omit Sierra Delta Echo...if you know, then you know, and mate do we know
OMG! Hilarious looking for Mr. Good bar!
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Ladies, you're great, and don't look like "hammered dog 💩. Keep doing what you do, oiled or not.
Toilet paper over is the only sanitary answer. Under paper has the disgusting possibility of rubbing against the wall.
Pumps got so many matches!! 😂😂😂 Can you all PLEASE infiltrate right-wing sites and groups as a regular segment?? This is way too funny.
I can’t believe I just found these two ladies!! My soul sisters! where have I been?? ❤
Pumps' laugh>>>
When toilet paper was invented the instructions clearly say that it should be over! It DOES save on the amount people get from the pull! You are doing them a service by switching it, in my opinion 😂 besides only psychopaths do under!
Holy shit! This has been my absolute favorite episode. I need more. Now I have to figure out what patreon is and subscribe. I need weekly dating app updates, please! This is a journey I can get behind. Love you ladies.
You bitches give me life. Thank you for making me feel less alone in this crazy country and making me laugh so hard I can't breathe.
TP goes over🧐 I was at a relative's house and automatically fixed theirs to the correct way, being used to my kids replacing rolls all willy-nilly. After a while, I realized my error and went in and changed it back. Not my house, not my choice. LOL, y'all got me tickled again🤣🌻🐝
Ladies, I looked this up because I feel the same way and I found the patent shows the toilet paper going over so there you have it!
Pumps, I tell every woman I go on dates with that if I’m charming you, then I’m trying to sleep with you. It takes that off the table to make both of us focus on getting to know each other instead trying to get to the bedroom. Saved me from a lot of women that were not good for me and I was not good for them. 🤷🏾♂️😂
“Tollet paper” (to quote Jennifer) always has to go over. There’s no debate.
Over, of course.
I am one who has corrected, but who now is a recovered corrector.
I leave the under alone, and move on knowing I'm right.
I clean for work and I changed the tp to over and the customer SWITCHED IT BACK TO UNDER WTF?!?!
He wants a melania who works?! He can't afford mel's staff!!
😂❤️😂❤️Had to pull my car over listening to you two!
I’m listening from Sydney. You’ll love it here.
Pumps is looking hot
I saw that interview and didn't notice your hair or skin. Just saying.
I wish the right stop acting like liberals don't own guns. Some do sorry to break the news to them.
Toilet paper patriots
Always over! However, I’ve never changed someone else’s toilet paper, but I’ve itched to do it!
The tp overs are correct because if you look up the patent for the tp holder it has a clear drawing of it to be over.
Over, absolutely! and I fix it anywhere I go also. haha when my mother-in-law visits, she puts it under and i have to correct it every single time. drives me nuts!!
⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️⭐️ FIVE STARS EVERY DAMN DAY!!! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Question: Who the hell is up at 4:00am posting your new videos on RUclips?!? Or is there an automated pre-scheduling feature that allows yall to set a future time for a video to automatically post?!? Good lord that’s early! I know because I’m often up at that time! 😆
Ok, now on with my comment(s):
1. Taurus and Scorpio are NOT compatible.
2. I’m also 54, divorced/single, and I live in TexAss. I’ve had ZERO interest in dating for the past several years because the _ordeal_ involved in searching, vetting, sorting through the dismally paltry offerings found on dating apps is excruciating, exhausting, tedious, and endlessly frustrating. It’s something I simply do not have the energy nor the will to do anymore. Plus, like Angie, my picker is broke, so when I do choose a guy to date he ends up being a massive loser.
I’m a hard left progressive democrat (my ideology: libertarian socialist- only 6% of the U.S. population align with this ideology), and so, I WILL NOT date a Republican, conservative, MAGAt, centrist, Christian or any other theocrat. I won’t date men with pics of themselves holding fish, or pics with no shirt. No climate deniers, no anti-vaxxers, no gun nuts, no hunters, no conspiracy theorists, no “patriots,” no gym rats … you get it. And omg there are so goddamn many of those exact kinds of dickheads in TexAss!
(I’m happy to provide my extremely long and very detailed dating profile for your review and critique! 🤣 I’ve been told it comes across as very elitist, snooty, snobby, unrealistic, academic, unreasonably demanding, condescending, too picky, and so many other terrifically expositive criticisms from men I’d never give a second of my time. 🤣)
3. Conservatives are NOT open-minded. (I know this is well-known amongst liberals but I felt compelled).
4. The Right Stuff dating app is the creation of MAGAt and former Trump WH staffer, John McEntee, and MAGAt, Daniel Huff. Its development and production was financed by billionaire, MAGAt Peter Thiel (a gay man who supports anti-gay initiatives and is a funding partner for Project 2025).
John McEntee is that doofus on TikTok who does those obnoxious videos best described as: _’conservative jackass, eating ice cream, positing idiotic, non-comparative comparisons.’_ After which, he shoves a spoonful of Marble Slab into his face hole then smirks obnoxiously. You know … shit like, “if humans evolved from apes, then WHY are there still apes?” 🤮 I hate that guy!
But … I love YOU guys! I definitely can relate and I commiserate so much! 💙
Oh honey. I'm from Lubbock. I now live in the Pacific Northwest. Contemplating dating is still painful.
The RULE in the hotel industry is OVER…I will change the role in other people’s homes🤷♀️
I love the way they just put their own crazy onto everyone else. “Brandon” isn’t the most popular, he’s just sane.
tr*mp lowered everyone’s standards THAT much.
I fix the TP to over at work and in restaurants if possible. I've also had it with an associated toilet paper issue. To all janitor types: Start the fu*kin' roll! Clawing my way through half the roll just to get a few shreds to wipe my ass is just unacceptable!
Omg my thought exactly!! 👏👏
A humorous, yet scientific study was done years ago to prove that OVER is more sanitary...and the South was the regional winner!
Toilet paper under can be traced to one thing I believe….Stanley Cups…
LMFAO Face it, this is what internet dating is like. We need to finance a male robot for Pumps.
I have a question for people who are so butt-hurt about transgender: Do you have a dedicated bathroom for each gender at your home? What if a boy peed in the girls’ room?
Furthermore who gives a shit! Honey, there's a saying, "I pity the moron whose life is so empty..." Hugs!
I enjoy your show. You guys crack me up.
Jennifer, regarding your doordash ad. If you had one of those Stanley cups 🥤 you could have rehydrated on the drive 🚗 home 🏡 from pickle ball with a giant flask of electrolytes and not needed doordash at all.😅
I laughed so hard that I couldn't breathe 😂😅. Best episode ever!!!!
These two are absolutely hilarious. I love this show. LOLOLOLOL Don't ever stop ladies. YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can't stop laughing 😂😂..
Love the dating app segment
Over is better 😂😂😂💙💙💙💙👍🏽👍🏽