Clarke and Dawe - The Front Fell Off
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- Опубликовано: 22 июн 2010
- www.mrjohnclarke.com
"Bob Collins, Australian Senator" Air date: 26/07/1991
Can be purchased on "Clarke & Dawe -The Full Catastrophe DVD Boxed Set" Personally signed at MrJohnClarke.com
"A wave hit the ship."
"Is that unusual?"
"Oh yeah! At sea? A chance in a million!"
TheReaper161Plays h
TheReaper161Plays h
Saw this just as they said it
That was one of the two lines that cracked me up! The other was the minimum crew requirement which is, "oh, one, i suppose"
agreed. those two lines are the best. i've seen this many times and those never fail to make me laugh out loud. its also the way he says it - so 'matter of fact'.
"What's the minimum crew?"
"Oh, well... one, I 'spose?"
Haha that's the best line.
One Crew, yeah
one crew haha!
S P I R A L O U T
😂
"Well, cardboard's out."
"And?"
"No cardboard derivatives."
...and I died.
As a model builder of cardboard-ships I am deeply offended by this line!
@Christoph Poll yours are designed for cardboard, those are designed such that the front don't fall off, except in this one case
@@stopitnowlol6697 theyre also desinged to carry as much oil as possible without the front falling off but there is one time they couldn't hold as much oil as possible
You got better, I take it, :-)
Idk why but hearing derivatives set me off too😂
My dad’s an engineer and apparently they quote this during meetings.
I’m convinced that all engineers have this memorized and you can’t tell me otherwise
You'll be pleased to know I learned of this from an electrical engineer.
As the daughter of an engineer, on my way to being an engineer, this is 100% my first language 😂
Real public-communication-trained engineers have the “What is a photocopier” video in mind.
Well, as a computer engineer, I can confirm that engineers know this by heart, and we try to make sure the front doesn't fall off.
I am an engineer and can confirm.
The logic is flawless.
"Wasn't this one built so that the front wouldn't fall off?"
"Obviously not."
"How do you know?"
"Because the front fell off!"
I too watched the video
ik lol
Far as I'm aware, the logic actually does work, kind of.
I also watched the video.
I was gonna use logic but then the front fell off
"This plane that was involved in the incident in Oregon this week..."
"The one the door fell off?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah, that's not typical, I'd like to make that point."
Well how is it untypical?
The wind hit it.
@@Yvanahh The wind hit it? Is that unusual for an airplane?
Oh yeah, in the sky? A Chance in a Million! @@withoutwroeirs
@@withoutwroeirs Wind in the air? A chance in a million.
‘It’s been towed beyond the environment, it’s not in an environment!’
Honestly made me fall over
Practically a void
Lmao this would kill the joke but that line about "beyond the environment" made me realize all anyone should say for similar situations could be: "the ship was built to high standards but it was met with an outlying situation that was *_'beyond what it was built for.'_* And were the standards any higher then that would make all the ships too expensive and cripple the shipping industry."
you could you say you,
fell off
Well, the front fell off
@@MazerRaven but how?
I find myself looking this up every so often.....kills me every time
even when I know exactly what they're gonna say and how they're gonna say it, I still laugh at every line
You can't pull a quote out of this one. Every sentence is gold.
Yeah ya can.... "the front fell off!" 💁♂️🤷♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
The front fell off
Cardboard derivatives...
Didn't you come in a Commonwealth car? Yes. What happened. The front fell off.
"Well cardboards out"😂
I grew up in Australia and these guys have been pulling the piss out of the politicians for about 25 years now. They're awesome.
Pulling the piss? Here in the UK we take the piss. you Aussie's really do things back to front.
They can't do it front to back for obvious reasons.
True. Pushing the piss sounds a lot more painful.
well, you can only do things from back to back because the front fell off
For fuck sake, will you morons ever stop making comments on the internet?
"But Senator Collins, why did the Ever Given get lodged in the Suez Canal?"
"Well, the wind hit it"
"The wind hit it?"
"The wind hit the ship!"
"Is that unusual?"
"Oh yeah! At sea? Chance in a million!"
Solution: Tow it beyond the environment.
I thought exactly the same thing when I saw that story.
@@lukewalker3905 In this instance, it's stuck so it can't be towed. That's not typical of ships in the Suez - I'd just like to point that out.
In a canal, not at sea. Otherwise, unlike the ship, it fits perfectly.
+ Can you book me a cab?
- Didn't you come in a common wealth car?
+ Yes I did.
- So what happened?
+ Well it got stuck in the Suez Canal.
Trying to hit that word count on your essay
bruhh xD
This comment is on point!
xD
@thenoodleshop REEEEEEE!!!
thenoodleshop
back to /pol/ you go.
This is one of the funniest things ever, and I don't even speak Australian.
wait, what?
the front fell off
top stuff
Not the top, the front. It fell off.
It's not normal.
I honestly think this deserves to beside “Who’s on First” in the halls of comedy canon. A near perfect example of excellent political satire. Timeless.
And I am Yu from rush hour
Good point!!!
As Australians we had this every week on tv.
I really miss him.
@@robdog1245but Yu is blind
I’m not blind, you blind.
That is what I to you
Some of the submersibles are built so they don't implode at all.
Was the Titan built so that it wouldn't implode?
@EATSLEEPDRIVE2002 Well, obviously not.
Ever since I saw this a couple of years ago I use "the front fell off" to refer to something that's gone completely wrong. As in, "I was doing fine on the exam until about halfway through, I don't know what happened. The front fell off."
yes! love it dude
We've been doing this in Australia since 1991 lol
We use this at the workplace.
"Refrigerator's busted"
"What happened?"
"Dunno. Front fell off?"
@@dylanwight5764 nowadays it'd be "It took an arrow to the knee"
I found out about this sketch when an Australian co-worker said it, and was surprised that none of us knew the reference. So he insisted we all watch it. So brilliant.
You can find the complete transcript in the comment section below
Under rated comment.
Haha, thank you, I thought I was the only one that was bothered by that. The only thing more annoying in comment sections is people tagging other people. Fortunately RUclips is free from that, at least.
Or you can buy John Clarke’s book with the Transcripts in them
@@gussyt1761 I did but the front fell off.
@@hendrong Good thing no one can tag other people here.
This always gets me laughing
Zaddy
Happy to see you around! Hope these last few years have been good to you! Keep being awesome!
The context of the times this aired in the maritime world makes this sort of like gallows humor. During the 1980s and 1990s (particularly 1990 and 1994) cargo ships were suffering catastrophic sinkings, especially bulk carriers, which would often break in half, endure flooding from cracks in the hull, or just go missing without a trace.
untipacal @@sse_weston4138
Thanks for the comment Tay
"But Suez Canal authorities, why did the ship run aground?"
"Well a gust of wind hit it."
"A gust of wind hit it? Is that likely?"
Just cut the front off it!
Then tow it beyond the environment
@@lukewalker3905 well what's out there?
@@TimperialBroadcastingAgency in a storm? Chance in a million
this sound like monty python
+taylor forrest More like Bird & Fortune.
thats satire my friend
aqua team he thought he was Eric Idle
Or abbot and costello
John Clarke grew up listening to the Goons (as did many of us, including the guys who would go on to become Monty Python)
Guy: "There's a minimum crew requirement."
Interviewer: "What's the minimum crew?"
Guy: "Ah, one I suppose."
***** yes, yes I am.
***** yup! The one about commercial airline pilots and averted disasters :)
+Shikoba Crawlings (Forrest) nerds
+Sara Fox
no better time to say "you don't say"
Masako Beaton
derpa, derpa, derp. XD
My brother works for the Canadian Coast Guard. He told me this was shown at the beginning of his first class on his first day at the Coast Guard college. That's how universally funny this is.
My personal favourite:
"There's a minimum crew requirement."
"And what is the minimum crew required?"
"Oh....one, I suppose."
Thd delivery in this is perfect. You know you nailed comedy when it becomes a meme.
Hear me out... Imagine you built a submarine for billionaires.
Your idea intrigues me. I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
What happened isn’t very typical. Let’s not start thinking it’s unsafe.
@@littlem00nprinc3ssthey gotta have an aftermarket gaming controller
Some guy pointed out some safety flaws in our sub, don't worry I fired him now Noone can say it's unsafe meaning it's safe. 👍
Bro so smart but the middle got crushed
Most circular conversation ever.
Fooooreal!😭
If you want a real circular conversation, 'Abbott and Costello - Who's on First'
Yes. Who? Yes. WHO IS ON FIRST!?. Yes!
Who's on second?
No, Who's on first, What's on second
This is high art for high end responsibility.
AA beats the shit out of a passenger. " Reaccommodated"
The front fell off the Australian political satire landscape today. RIP John Clarke.
Nicely put.
That's not very typical, I'd like to make that point.
@Jim lastname It appears she was using the same response as Mr. Clarke did to the interviewer asking about the front falling off in response to him saying the front fell off the Australian political satire landscape. He died suddenly and unexpectedly, which one would think isn't really typical.
oh what, he's dead???
I've just heard of him and I'm already sad to hear it. :/ He seems like a real gem of satire. In that Pratchett way, I suppose that a man is not really dead while his name is still spoken and his jokes told, so RIP and GNU John Clarke.
Gday,i am an Indian found this video last year, whenever i watch ohhh God 😁😁😁😁😁😜
I'm old enough to remember when this was actually in the news. It's a true story. The front did fall off a Greek tanker, the Kirki on 21st July 1991 in Western Australia. 🤭
"A wave at sea!?...... chance in a million" I died!
So did all the fish.
don't forget all the birds that died too hahah
A tiger......in Africa!
@@brissiegeoff I'd be shocked seeing a tiger in Africa too since they're from Asia
I was thinking this was real at first then it quickly became way to funny xD
Wow you're here
So the front fell off?
Woah! Didn't expect to see you here!
I swear I see you in the stupidest places like that adele parody with david attenborough
ecks dee
"The front fell off" can also be used to explain how the Australian continent was formed. The front of Antarctica fell off to form Australia, and the front of Australia fell off to form New Zealand.
I am in my third trimester of pregnancy. I happen to quote this quite often as well.
I do not believe a comedy piece has ever been done with better comedic timing. This is beyond brilliant.
"Who's on first?"
Bird and Fortune are worthy of this kind of sketch too.
Ronnie Corbett had impeccable timing, the two Ronnies Mastermind sketch takes comedic timing to a mind blowing level. David Renwick's writing combined with their performance is something to behold.
"Its not in an environment... All there is, sea, birds, fish"
-And?
"And 20,000 tons of crude oil"
-And?
"A fire"
-And?
"And the part of the ship that the front fell off"
This is Gold xD
The last bit where he asks for a taxi, because the front fell off his car was a nice touch as well :D
Ikr
Kirubel Abebe but there's nothing else out there, it's a void.
But there's nothing ELSE out there. It's a complete VOID.
Would've been funnier if he'd simply said "and the front of the ship"
“ At Sea 🌊 ? Chance in a million “ 😂😂😂😂 Sarcasms undefeated
The delivery on "Well, 'cause the front fell off, and 20,000 tons of crude oil spilled into the SEA, caught fire!" makes me die laughing every time.
It’s a bit of a give away 😂
'Didnt you come in a commonwealth car?'
'yes i did but...'
'Well what happened?'
'Well the front fell off' xD
yep thats what he said.
thanks for confirming that for me, i wasn't quite sure
Yea no shit we watched it, you writing it out in text doesn't contribute anything.
God you're fucking stupid.
someone had a rough day... cry some more
I love how fast they both respond to each other, it's so fluent it's amazing
It was so good I thought it was edited at first.
UR86 this is a skit, so not only is it probably edited, its scripted.
Karl Gilbert that's disappointing. Still really funny though
Karl Gilbert It’s probably somewhat scripted but it might be improvised as well. A lot of sketch comedy is
Their timing was flawless, as was the direction. The first time I ever saw this, I thought it was an actual news interview until about the 20 second mark. I never tire of watching this.
I still think about this 20 years after first seeing it, which was 25 years after it aired.
God l miss this man. As a kiwi l normally get pissy when Australia steals one of ours but, you guys deserved him - he never got the recognition he should have here. RIP John you bloody legend!
as an American, i cant tell you guys apart
I watch this atleast once a year and will continue for the rest of my life .
Same. It's too awesome.
DING DONG! This is your yearly reminder.
monthly for me, never gets old, probably better :D
Until the front will fell off? :)
Wup I’m 2 months early. Just couldn’t hold on.
Cardboard's out.
+agun17 also no cardboard derivatives!
+Beleshanel Like paper?
+Zach Ylimaki no paper, no string no cellotape
+actualkingjosh Rubber??
These do not sound like rigorous maritime engineering standards, at all.
I'm going to assume that we have two guys or girls in EVERY country on the planet, that take the piss out of local politicians, but you Aussies take the biscuit and I'm an Irish guy saying this. Brilliant!
Almost 30 years later and this sketch still kills.
And so do oil tankers.
@@Chrisbert1977 and cheaply made submersibles.
@@randymichel459 #ImplodeTheBillionaires
_"It was amazing really. The Occurrence Border mostly followed the standard Imperial ship design; large engines in the tail, control tower rising above the rear of the ship, long and slightly skinny body. Except the bow was completely gone. The ship just ended half way through the body in a giant patchwork of scrap metal. It looked like someone had grabbed the ship, cut it with a giant cleaver, and then smashed the ragged edge flat. As one we all turned to look at Nubby; who muttered something about 'good value for cost' and tried to sidle away."_
_"It took a lot of shaking and yelling to get all the details out of Nubby. Apparently, well, the front fell off."_
_"The entire front of the vessel, a two kilometer warp-capable ship, which we had just purchased for a staggering amount of money, on behalf of the bloody Inquisition, Fell. Off."_
_"He said it doesn’t happen often, just a sort of occasional time to time thing, overall its a very safe ship. In fact in the whole lifetime of the ship it only happened once, or twice, well maybe three times, definitely no more than four, but the important thing was that it wouldn’t ever happen again."_
- The All Guardsmen Party, "Discount Spaceship"
Living in America, it's easy to find people that have never seen these two. I always enjoy starting them off with this video to see how long it takes to realize they are pulling the piss out of us.
man I miss these guys imagine the field day they would be having today.
Political satire is verboten in Australiastan!
@@Allangulon thujuicemedia is keepin it alive I'd say
@@A_Salted_Fishe
I believe Juice did a report on how the government tried to shut them down.
@@Allangulon fair do's
@@Allangulon FriendlyJordies does his bit
"There's a minimum crew requirement"
"What's the minimum crew?"
"One, I suppose"
...I died!
One of my all time favourite Clark and Doyle skits.
Miss these guys big time.
"There's a minimum crew requirement"
"What's the minimum crew?"
"Oh, one I suppose."
Gold! XD
Love how he sneaks in "the environments perfectly safe"
Makes me belly laugh every time! 😂😂😂 “can you book me a cab?” “Didn’t you come in a common wealth car?”
“Yeah but the front fell off” 😭😭😭 💀
Possibly cracked a rib watching this but it was worth it!
“Out at sea?! Chance in a million” lol best line IMO
I’ve watched this 8 times today
"its been towed beyond the environment" I was crying!
What's funnier is that that's a real quote from an interview.
Boeing: Some of our 737 Max 9's are built so the doors don't just fall off at all
"What's the minimum crew?"
"Uh, one I suppose"
😂
A wit so sharp it could cut the front of an oil tanker.
This could pass for a real news story in 2023.
That's because it was a real news story in 1991.
I remember when this first aired, 30+ years ago! Its still as funny as shit!
I found this my freshman year of high school, about 13 years ago, and it's still one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
" I'm not saying it wasn't safe, I'm just saying it's not as safe as the other ones"😂😂😂😂😂
Dawe almost burst out laughing at "Well some of them are built so that the front doesn't fall off at all."
''Well Cardboards out'' had me spitting my coffee onto my keyboard! LMAO
I can't believe I am seeing this now.
Holy crap. Lmao. "Chance per million" . The whole thing is amazing. Why isn't this up for some award.? Hahaha aweman. Best thing I've seen in recent history on the internet
I was driving through a kinda but not really pedestrianised area in a town centre when a group of teenagers just walked out into the middle of the road all ‘lar de da’. I revved my engine behind them and they jumped and a girl screamed “omg! A car!” And then quickly ran back to the pavement. And i shouted out the window, “what’s that? A car? On a road? Chance in a million!” Obviously this will never leave me.
Brilliant, no need to explain why, you just know that when you watch.
Just saw this for the first time, naturally spurting coffee through my nose from explosive laughter and after I recovered I was strangely, but briefly, angry at the RUclips algorithm for not recommending it to me sooner. Two things then occurred to me. 1. Why be angry at an algorithm for doing something I actually wanted it to do? Usually I'm annoyed at what it does recommend. 2. My previous RUclips viewing, sans Clarke and Dawe, has quite possibly been depressing.
As brilliant as John Clarke is, Brian Dawn plays the straight-man with impeccable timing and pathos
RIP. John Clarke
29 July 1948 - 9 April 2017 (aged 68)
How does this only have 5.4mil views? Every human should see this. At least 30 views are from me alone.
This might be my favourite comedy sketch ever.
Heard a story about a boat getting spun around in a canal and my first thought was well at least the front didn't fall off.
Well, the front was stuck, so it would've benefitted from having the front fall off! :D
OceanGate CEO
He did use paper and string and sellotape 😂
No matter how many times I come back to this it still cracks me up.
Annndddd musk ship front fell offff 😂😂😂
"there is nothing out there. all that's out there is sea and birds and fish."
"and?"
"and 20,000 tonnes of crude oil."
"and what else?"
"and a fire."
"And the part of the ship where the front fell off"
"It's a complete void."
I love his accent when he says "Well a wave hit it"
Wayyve!
- Is that unusual?
- A wave? At sea? Chance in a million!
wszyscyzginiemy Although he became very famous in Australia, he’s a native New Zealander. Their accent is the best, it’s one of the reasons I love Flight Of The Conchords.
How the fuck do you say wave
The bridge that was involved in the incident in Baltimore this week...
Some of them are built so they don't crash into bridges at all.
@@NimbusHex well what about this one?
@@DavidNightjet well he was thinking more about the others
@@getalife7231 the ones that are safe?
@@DavidNightjet yea, the ones the front doesn't fall off
Greatest thing I have ever seen
The thing I love about this the most is that it is entirely clean. No swearing, no suggestive comments, no dirty jokes - just pure comic genius.
Offensive rating: 0/10.
Funny rating: 10/10.
I also love it because it's a parody of how politicians dance around plain truth to lie. It happens constantly all the time.
Take Fauci vs Rand Paul for example
I'm certain John would have been proud if his epitaph simply said "Well ... the front finally fell off". Fred Dagg you are missed
Oh these guys were just brilliant 👏
Tfw an official responding to the Ohio rail disaster says the safest thing to do is to "get that up in the air."
What about the environment? We've moved it beyond the environment. There's nothing up there but clouds and birds. And phosgene gas.
Interviewer: "What materials?"
Guy: ''Well cardboards out, .."
Interviewer: "And..."
Guy: "no cardboard derivatives"
Interviewer: "Like... paper........?"
James Ford what about rubber
@@davudlastname2545 oh rubbers out
"Sea, and birds, and fish... and 20,000 tons of crude oil... And a fire." rofl
"The ship was towed outside the environment"
"Into another environment?"
"No no no, it's been towed beyond the environment. It's not in the environment"
"But from one environment to another environment."
"No, it's beyond the environment. It's not "in an" environment. It has been towed beyond the environment."
I've lost count how many times I have come back to this. Never gets old😂😂.
While I deeply miss John's wit - so sharp and quick that you'd be halfway home before you realised your shoes were filling up with blood and you were dying - I think we also should recognise that Bryan Dawe is among the greatest 'straight' men in history. If ever we needed a duo like this it's now, dealing with the ridiculous Bullshit Circus that is modern politics. Thank you gentlemen, thank you so very much. It's such a loss to see it end so abruptly.
Vale Mr. John Clarke, 1948-2017
This is such a weird comment.
@@AA-fn9xz did your front fall off
I like how this comment derails in the second half, you could even say @sixstringedthing 's front fell off
It was posted a couple of years after the passing of the actor playing "Senator Collins" at the age of 68. He was fit and healthy and his death was unexpected.
My comment was simply acknowledging the sad loss of a brilliant actor/satirist/poet/author, giving a shoutout to the very talented guy who frequently played opposite him as "the straight man" to John's funny man (it's a comedy thing, look it up on TV Tropes), expressing my regret that we no longer have them around to help keep our politicians honest, and thanking them for their work. If you can explain what's "weird" or "derailed" about it in more detail, I can probably dispel your confusion fairly simply. Cheers :)
I agree with your sentiment that Bryan Dawe as foil to John doesn't get a lot of the credit for material that they wrote and perform together. Didn't realise understand your shoes and blood analogy tho I have to say maybe this what people find odd about the comment?
This is what I thought of when I heard the Alaska Airlines door falling off.
Oceangate talking about the Titan submersible
This is art. It may sound really silly but it really is so beautifully timed and executed
"There has to be a minimum crew requirement"
"and what is that?"
"Er, one I suppose"
Damn, he's got us on this one guys.
As a non-Aussie, I'd like to admit that it took me just about the whole video's length PLUS about 30seconds of contemplation to finally figure out that this is a skit, a parody, a joke. Lmao it was amazing!! FUCKIN EH!
So you’d have to be thick as two short planks, eh?
@@paulwary My dad used to say that all the time.
@@paulwary is this is a valid and common bit of Aussie insult?
It was a real event though. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirki_(tanker)
🤣 I'm on the third video of it. The first one was warhammer 40k meme with the heads and audio. I've been trying to find out about this ship that the front fell off in austrailia this week
I'll never forget that Jana Wendt used not to be able to hold back the cackles, after their appearances on A Current Affair.
"I'd just like to make the point, that is not normal.."
The first time i saw this, i thought it was a real interview & that the company had sent their most sarcastically evasive partner's in to answer the silly questions. But it still makes me howl to date! Very clever writing.
Shit, I thought this was real at first!
+Fnidner The ship they were talking about was real, called the 'Kirki' and the front did fall off it spilling a heap of crude oil in 1991.
imgur.com/NVs0w95
+roostewrum Yeah but that's not supposed to happen...
Golem WoT Not supposed to, but sadly, it did.
+roostewrum yes, I'd just like to make the point that that is not normal.
+Creatotron Very unusual indeed. Some of them are built so the front doesn't fall off at all.
Just watched this for the N millionth time. It never gets old!
This now lives in my head rent free