What To Do With Your Life
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- Опубликовано: 1 окт 2012
- In which John answers the oft-asked question, "How do I figure out what to do with my life?" Along the way, he discusses adulthood, careers, movies, and the meaning of life and stuff.
HERE ARE A LOT OF LINKS TO NERDFIGHTASTIC THINGS:
Shirts and Stuff: dftba.com/artist/30/Vlogbrothers
Hank's Music: dftba.com/artist/15/Hank-Green
John's Books: amzn.to/j3LYqo
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Hank's Twitter: / hankgreen
Hank's Facebook: / hankimon
Hank's tumblr: / edwardspoonhands
John's Twitter: / realjohngreen
John's Facebook: / johngreenfans
John's tumblr: / fishingboatproceeds
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Other Channels
Crash Course: / crashcourse
SciShow: / scishow
Gaming: / hankgames
VidCon: / vidcon
Hank's Channel: / hankschannel
Truth or Fail: / truthorfail
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Nerdfighteria
effyeahnerdfighters.com/
effyeahnerdfighters.com/nftumblrs
/ nerdfighters
nerdfighteria.info/
A Bunny
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"My goal is to not wake up at forty with the bitter realization that I wasted my life on a job I hate because I was forced to choose a career in my teens.." -Daria Morgendorffer
I love that cartoon and the thing is that I wasn't even born when it ended so I get weirdly super excited when someone references it
@@aarya1467 exactly my feelings
@@aarya1467 It can be exhausting at times to read how young their crowd is! This show ended after I was done with college for the first time :)
quite the job
I am there actually...
"study broadly and without fear"
Next on my career to-do list: Comic Book writing and Olympic curling team.
The thing about writing is that you kind of HAVE to do other things to write. I guess if you're insanely good you could just read other works and write well, but most people's minds need a lot of input to be creative enough to draw interest.
+
Omg I read that THE SECOND BEFORE HE SAID IT
@@JosephCoco That can be life, though. I'd think the reason for doing something else is money, not a lack of ideas.
"You're staring at the night sky one night and decide you wanna get a PhD in astrophysics."
kinda touched me!!
why ? are trying to become one
Kind of, yes.
kind of ? what do you mean ? Are you Engineer or what ?
sam witwicky nope! I just finished high school. I have interest in all kinds of physics.
so you're in 11 huh ... i guess you're preparing for IIT then . Good luck
Whenever I'm having a mid-mid-life crisis (quarter-life crisis?) RUclips somehow always manages to direct me to the right 8-year-old Vlogbrothers video and for that, I am very grateful.
Still the best video on RUclips
Haha same, I'm so grateful for this because I was really losing it
I feel exactly the same!! Even when I'm not having a crisis I'll come back to this video to reaffirm how I feel about my career. I'm so lucky to be working with people I really like and making cool stuff with them, and I have never been more happy in my life. Huge thank you to John for this advice that has been stuck in my head since high school, it's been so so helpful
The closer I get to my 18th birthday the more anxious I get. Because when I think of border between child and adult I feel time flying past. I feel something pushing me towards a ledge. The closer I get the faster I need to get ready. Get ready to fly. Fly or die. But I don’t know how to fly. I don’t know what to do when I fall off that ledge. That scares me and a part of me knows that that’s normal because who wouldn’t be scared of falling to their death. But some of the people around me are already off and away. They’re off and away painting the masterpiece that their lives will be. But all I see is the blank canvas that is the rest of my life. So I stand there not knowing how to fill it. I wait to make a paint stroke, while time ticks away at my canvas. I wait and my canvas becomes smaller. Bit by bit. A bit today. A bit tomorrow. So I have a new fear. I fear the day that my canvas is reduced to nothing. I fear that one day I won’t be able to paint anymore and I’m left with the blank canvas I was born with. So I’m not doing ok. This video helped.
for real, how does it do that?? this is 100% the thing i needed right now
im 19 and scared I'm gonna come back to this video in a couple years still unsure,,,
dude im like double yor age and stil dnt knw wat i wana do - jus try enjoi yor life coz its all over too soon.
but why type like that?? *_*
I'm still deciding what to do with my life and I'm a decade older! It's fine! Once I became qualified and competent in one thing, I moved on to learn more and be challenged elsewhere. Now that I have settled down more, my job may be longer-term, but I'm finding SO many new things to do outside of my career... fostering and training animals, building things, home improvement, encouraging literacy and creativity in neighborhood kids by letting them use my library and (supervised) my workshop for building/restoring things... I'd like to start a #FoodIsFree Project on my street... possibilities are endless, no matter what career track you go with!
I'm 21, a couple years after 19, and am definitely unsure.
and that is okay. In fact I think that's what he's saying. It's not only okay, but it's IMPORTANT to be able to have the choices that make you come back to this video.
This would be a lot easier to swallow if it wasn't a $40,000 decision.
OroCrimson 2 go abroad, most other countries aren't as crazy expensive as America
OroCrimson 2 I live in Europe. Here it's more like a €200 decision. Then it's another €200 decision for my master's! Oh how I love free education.
Kevin McGuinness Guess your "free" education isn't in economics :)
Kevin McGuinness Where in Europe do you live? :)
No Trevor, it was in literature and history because I understand the difference between the subjects point of view and the observer's point of view.
I'm laughing because one night I DID look up at the night sky and decided I wanted to get a P.h. D in astrophysics 😂 And so now that's what I'm doing
philomath maniac that's cool!
Happy for you! 😊 when i was a kid, i unrealistically dreamnt of becoming an astronaut. Love the night sky and its mysteries. Now, found out that life on earth is more complicated than it seems 😀😂
Shut up liar jk congratulations that is so inspirational!
I wanted to be an astronaut but the closest I got to it was taking Astronomy 101 in college while I got my degree in English.
Let me geuss Rajesh Koothrappali??
I think John Green is now my favorite person.
welcome to nerfighteria, nerdfighters unite! now let's defeat worldsuck
+Nichole Bacon And increase awesome as well!
+Manibe yas!
I think it's John Greene. 💜💛💙💚
yes.
I love that you said we can do multiple things. At only 28 years old I have been a Disney World security guard, a bartender, later a special ed high school teacher, and lastly I joined the Navy as a gunner's mate just to put one more thing under my belt. People look at my like I'm crazy because I have changed my career so many times. The truth is I like to try many different careers. I already have a college degree but I figure I have til I am about 30 to nail down what I really want to do (and I know what that is now) but I look back at all the fun memories from other jobs, and am reminded of the skills I attained. So many people put pressure on me so young to decide on what to do/ go to college, and at 18 I had no idea. New nerdfighter and big fan (thanks to my awesome brother who convinced me to start watching and reading the books).
Wow you sound like a complete badass keep it up!
Marissa Gimenez you dont have to nail down anything when you're 30
Marissa Gimenez If that is true , please read the manga "Golden boy" you might learn a few things from that.Aside from that keep it going!
Marissa Gimenez I love this comment.
People can say you have a crazy life but the thing is how many people are there have a courage to stop what they're doing and start all over again for something they want/love just like you
That part about avocados was on point.
Woah YesReneau commented on this you watch vlogbrothers? So coooool i watch both of you but never knew you watched them & idk why but that seems really cool
I know Im randomly asking but does anyone know a tool to get back into an Instagram account??
I was dumb forgot the login password. I would love any help you can offer me.
@Blaze Jason Instablaster ;)
@Jared Trent I really appreciate your reply. I got to the site thru google and im trying it out now.
Takes quite some time so I will get back to you later when my account password hopefully is recovered.
@Jared Trent it did the trick and I finally got access to my account again. I am so happy!
Thank you so much you saved my ass :D
John Green for President of the World
Martin Hatchuel we both know he would probably just freak out
True but better then others
He literally just answered and if not, solved all the internal conflicts I have been having in the last two years. ❤️❤️
Any updates ?
"if you're studying archeology you're probably not gonna be electrical engineer"
haha, guess what
what
Stas Smith don't leave us hanging for a whole year
He's both and that's impressive
ay, I need answers
Come on, mate! It's been two years! WHAT?!
I had something of an epiphany on this a while back. and the answer is quite simple: whatever you enjoy. And I MEAN whatever, so long as it does not infringe upon others enjoyment (ergo, an it harm none, do what ye will).
It's built on my realization that our existence in this reality, final or otherwise, is completely, absolutely, and utterly meaningless; unless you GIVE it a reason. If becoming a doctor or a parent or President would be fun for you, and if the payoff is, in your eyes, worth the sacrifice, then DO that.
At the same time, spending your entire life playing video games and hanging out with friends is just as valid. Nothing matters, so just enjoy yourself while you're here. So long as you can look back at your life and say "I had fun", you could not possibly have done anything better.
To summarize: The meaning of life is to have fun. And nothing else matters.
I'm glad you can enjoy life, but the thought that nothing matters besides moments of fun produces a very hollowing and unbearably sad feeling in me. To see this as an enriching concept appears contradictory. the moments of enjoyment seem very shallow and empty if I don't know there is something objectively good about what I'm doing. Those moments would be fleeting because I cannot (and wouldn't want to) live in denial for very long. the goal of life described as trying to sustain fun seams ultimately self defeating. If life is meaningless, I guess I would just try not to think about it and distract myself with Netflix. I'd give up on aspirations to do something with my life , though i couldn't bring myself to end my life because I don't want to hurt my mom.
The point I'm trying to make is that life has no meaning BEYOND WHAT WE GIVE IT (really wish I knew how to put things in italics). That is, life has no INTRINSIC meaning; not necessarily no meaning at all.
If you find meaning in,say, being a mother, or a mailman, or WHATEVER, then that is a worthwhile goal. Just don't mistake it for the CORRECT goal; there is no right or wrong way to live your life, so long as you enjoy it (and that doesn't necessarily mean having fun. You can enjoy working at a difficult job, for example, so long as you think it's worth the trouble.)
I probably could have phrased this better, but it's a difficult idea for me to explain.
I screenshotted your comment so I wouldn't forget it. Thankyou friend :)
so basically we are just like any other species on this earth. Exactly like grass on the ground just doing it’s main function of being still against the winds. Ants have pretty boring lives and dogs just run and sit. But then humans we just reproduce like anything else, so I get what you’re saying definitely, while we just happen to exist, why not just add a bit of fun here and there. I had been thinking about your kind of comment all my life, just never really tried to word it all in a logical explanation.
My experience is that your options don't narrow nearly as much as you might fear. I mean, yes, choosing a major like medicine or the law will definitely push very strongly in a particular direction, but I majored in Spanish (plus History; it's complicated) then I spent most of my career in IT. Despite spending most of my career in IT, a big chunk of that was in teaching it to other people. Despite spending so much time teaching technology and working with it, I've spent the past 10 years doing so in social services and more particularly putting those skills toward ending homelessness. Also, I specifically chose a non-teaching degree while attending a teacher-prep-focused college, and still ended up in the classroom and writing curriculum. My mom got a teaching degree, then spent multiple decades raising children, and then went whole hog into the workforce. My dad did a number of different things in his career, from teaching, to self-employment, to chemistry, to eventually ending up as a computer-aided draftsman, which was kind of his first love. And back to me again, my first major was Business Administration which I stopped because accounting was boring, and now, after spending multiple decades working for other people, I'm running my own business, doing my own bookkeeping, etc. Almost none of the choices you make are unchangeable. And while you can't go back and run a different path, you absolutely can choose a different path from where you are at any given moment. And head back to your original path again later if you wish. But if the question is "what do I do with my life?" my advice is whatever else you do, choose something you think you will enjoy. And don't be afraid to change course.
You dont know how comforting this is. My college starts soon and I am so scared about my future. This definitely was very calming to read. Wish you the best in life :)
@@aadisha6621 I suppose I should mention that some of those transitions were pretty scary, but keep your wits about you.
@@rmdodsonbills will do, thanks 💗
Im starting college soon and I am absolutely terrified and this morning there has been some existential crisis happening, but this helped, actually it made me cry for some reason but then it helped, is this what the rest of College is going to be? Existential Crisis, slight excitement, and unexplained tears? Goodness.
Vicky Hallam Having gone through my first yer of college I will say yes, that is a feeling that will continue in College. I think it will probably continue further than that. You won't be in a constant state of existential crisis because most of the time you will be too busy living life to actually think about the fact that you are living life...but if you don't have an existential crisis every once in awhile I think you might be doing something wrong.
mermaidismyname "But If you dont have a existential crissi every once in awhile I think you might be doing something wrong"
hat is a very good point and actually very reassuring.
+mermaidismyname After read this coment I've reached the conclusion yhat I'm doing something really wrong
Im not sure who im writing this for, but someone liked this comment so it came up on my notifications again, and its crazy to me it was 2 years ago. Im about to start my third year of college, and existential crisis, excitement, and unexplainable tears has had a lot to do with my college experience so far but also many many more way better things then I could have ever anticipated. Some of the things John says in this video is still dear advice to me.
@@vickhallam12 thanks for the followup, sounds like it is going well!
this video truly helped me, as I am a high-schooler trying to understanding the cloud of ambiguity that is adulthood. Your statement about narrowing your choices as you age also reminded me of a stunning quote from the novel Tell the Wolves I'm Home:
“I really wondered why people were always doing what they didn't like doing. It seemed like life was a sort of narrowing tunnel. Right when you were born, the tunnel was huge. You could be anything. Then, like, the absolute second after you were born, the tunnel narrowed down to about half that size. You were a boy, and already it was certain you wouldn't be a mother and it was likely you wouldn't become a manicurist or a kindergarten teacher. Then you started to grow up and everything you did closed the tunnel in some more. You broke your arm climbing a tree and you ruled out being a baseball pitcher. You failed every math test you ever took and you canceled any hope of ever being a scientist. Like that. On and on through the years until you were stuck. You'd become a baker or a librarian or a bartender. Or an accountant. And there you were. I figured that on the day you died, the tunnel would be so narrow, you'd have squeezed yourself in with so many choices, that you just got squashed.” -Carol Rifka Brunt.
Also I was wondering if you could make some kind of video giving advice to new NerdFighters?
updates?
As a college student who's been worrying nonstop about deciding on a major, I really have to say that I adore this video. Thanks, John.
how are you now?
Wow. The algorithm has brought me back a whopping 8 years ago. This is almost vintage RUclips and aging well.
i too have been chosen to receive The Ancient Wisdom years later
@@laurelmcfarland7316 as have i
I have as well. We are the chosen ones... or maybe it’s just because RUclips realizes what I mess I am my first year of college
@@emersonelizalde6536 same...just that I am in my third year lol
This video really helped me after spending a day worrying about my future... I feel prett light-hearted now.
Problem for me is that light-hearted feeling quickly disappears and I feel lost again.
@@idar3703+1
I feel so extremely fortunate that Hank and John Green were introduced into my life, I fear who I'd be without knowing about them or the beautiful things they say.
I'm almost 52 and have no idea what to do with my life, specifically for work and money. On the up side, death is looking better by the day.
What have you always wanted to do? Pursue your dreams! I hope it gets better for you
Learn russian, travel, meet new people, explore, create things, read book, watch movies, do some sport...The world is big man...
yo you have one life and it's up to you to make your life as happy as possible. There are some incredible things in this world and you are capable of doing incredible things (not necessarily gigantic entire world changing things but incredible all the same) so get up and try new things, find things you love to do, be happy
DrumWild thank you :)
I am 19, and I can say death looks better
Thank you for making this video. I was feeling really depressed about my future until I watched this.
And I have been really taking charge on my creative desires and duties before this video, but found it reassuring and heartwarming. Perspective is fun xP
I don't know if you or hank know this. Like truly understand the gravity of it all. I as a person living in this world would believe that this phenomenon that is happening to me happens to others because I'm not in a vacuum. What I'm saying is your videos and all you support have let me find solidarity in my beliefs again. Because for the people who have jobs that they don't particularly enjoy and going to college and stuck in a slump of stress that might surround not knowing what they wish to do. You offer a voice to those people who feel lost. Forgive my inability to be concise. I also don't expect you guys to see it. But to be silent, even on deaf ears is the bigger tragedy.
"To be silent, even on deaf ears is a bigger tragedy."
this is so freakin awesome. Have you read it somewhere or you wrote it.
Hope you are doing well, Peace.
"every time i made a choice my options narrowed"
one of the main themes of The Bell Jar
love love love
This is exactly what I needed. Thank you.
I remember watching this when it first came out. I was in my first year of medical school then.
Fast forward 5ish years later and I'm about to start working as a doctor. The fears and anxieties of the last five years have grown and shifted but the message in this video is still sound.
(What has also happened in the past 5 years - I wrote a lot of stuff. I learned a lot of new things, including the guitar, ukulele, how to play/run Dungeons and Dragons, etc. And yeah also a bunch of medical things. Here's to the next five years of studying broadly and without fear.)
Update?
When he mentioned the musical note and how I'd be all anxious I was just like "G#. Done."
+kabadanke I don't know. I Probably should've gone with G or Gb.
+Smashdude And now you're anxious
I kinda instantly decided on the A an octave below Middle C. The tone of a cello. No vibrato (it would make the note more noticeable).
I think that the fundamental pitch of the note is neither here nor there, the important thing is the tone of the note (the strength of the various harmonics)
E flat
I am 30 yrs old and I am just watching youtube videos.
Just talk aren't they great?
People sometimes get confused when I tell them I'm attempting to study environmental biology, philosophy, french, yoga, and music. As if I NEED to study one thing deeply, rather than multiple things widely. And I've always had some trouble articulating why I'm stubbornly pursuing all of these things, but this video is absolutely perfect. Thank you John. DFTBA!
thank you for making this.
I'm only 15 and I to get unexplainable excited when finding a perfectly ripe avocado.
U ALIVE
Enta_Nae_Mere Me too! Only I'm older
I've never eaten avocado
you’re 22 now that’s wild
.
This honestly made me feel so much better about everything
An oldie but a goldie
k
I would hate to surround myself with people, even if I like them. Just one or two good ones and I'd be happy. Quiet ones. Ones that will intellectually discuss, paint, read, and hike with you but still let you enjoy the ambiance of your surroundings and each others' presence. Basically, people that let you be you and they can be them without conflict.
i don't know with what kind of people you are hanging out with, but by "surrounded by people you like" it implies what you just said in second part of your text (the type of people you like)
I don't understand this "even if i like them" part, can you like them and dislike them in the same time?
I dislike implications and assumptive language. It has this simultaneous habit encouraging people to ignore other possible, legitimate meanings and never say what they actually mean. I chose to express myself as myself. To borrow a flawed phrase just because it's convention would feel disingenuous.
On the other part, it's strong introversion. It's not liking and disliking someone at the same time, but despite liking people I still require alone time to function. I even shoo the cats sometimes.
Peregrination but you just contradicted yourself in very next sentence
"...,even if I like them. Just one or two good ones and I'd be happy" and then you went on describing people you would like to have in your life.
it's not matter of how you express yourself or how introvert you are, it's plain contradiction.
The parts you highlighted are all one sided: likes. "...like them," "...be happy". Hardly contradictory. I think the part you meant to address is the original statement of "...hate to be surrounded".
Think of being surrounded in terms of exactly what the word means and not what you want to imply or assume to imply. Be literal. Maybe critical: there's no contradiction between love and being surrounded.
Love can include freedom. One or two people in a room with you isn't being surrounded. Having independent goals in life and not having your loved ones with you all the time is not being surrounded not is it a contradiction of love. There's a lot of lifestyles out there that include family and friends but not being constantly with them or have your life revolve around them. They aren't everywhere you turn around--which is what surrounding means.
That sounds absolutely amazing!
These 3:23 mins shot 8 years ago.. changed my whole perspective about life now 2021.... John... Thank you....🥺
I always forget that the beautiful quote of "Study broadly and without fear" in this particular video. So whenever I accidentally re-watch it, I am always taken back with a minor epiphany each time.
This made me think about something. I have been out of college for 2 years now, and i have to say; i still have no idea what I'm going to spend my life doing. I feel like the first few years after college are kind of like the freshmen years of your adult life. I have had my first real job , gotten my first promotion at work,Went to Ireland for vacation, been responsible with my finances so that I have a high credit score, learned the value of putting all my bills on a spreadsheet, bought my first car of my own, and learned how to get up every evening and go to work day after day.
The only other time in my life that has been so transitory was when I went from being a high school to a college student, and even then it was mostly dealing with less hand-holding within the same academic system.
Are you in any debt from college tho?
10 years later and you're still doing this. I hope you look back and enjoy your time doing this. I recently found you and enjoy your time spent human. I'm still trying to figure it out and my time is passing and I'm not happy w what I've done w some of it. side gig of yours is awesome.
Veritasium
+Egor Gorshenin Yes! That got me here as well. :D
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I watched this video when it first came out and I was like that's some good advice but 2 years later I re-came across it and it was the exact advise I needed. I am at a different spot in my life then I was the first time I saw the video which changed the impact the video has on me. I always find it crazy that time and experience can change your perspective...
An expression of pure Nirvana crosses Johns face in the middle of the store. “This avacado,” he muses, tearing up, “is perfectly ripe."
I graduate highschool next year so im at the point in my life where I need to start making decisions. So whenever I feel stressed out about future plans I come back to this video and it sets me at ease. I can seriously do whatever I want to. I can be a journalist who travels searching for the worlds greatest pizza while singing in cafes, and running a blog about space and volunteer at children's hospitals in my spare time. I have the ability do everything I have ever wanted to do.
Thank you for this. It's tough out there sometimes and too easy to feel like you're doing something wrong or heading nowhere fast. Videos like this give me motivation to continue with good decisions I've made, or to head into another completely different direction
I've already figured it out. Eat pancakes now, play video games and continue to avoid any responsibility or work until death.
Ano Nymous I think he might be dead
yea he is probably dead. but good life style though
press F to pay your respects
Fffffffffff....uck
saame
2012 John: That sounds a lot like I'm saying I love you. Hank you have a stupid face
2020 John: *names a video 'A love letter to my brother, basically'*
How them times have changed ;)
I watched this last year too, but now that I'm a graduated senior in high school, it hits home a lot more. I've been absolutely TERRIFIED of what'll happen in the next few months and beyond, and this is just wonderful to hear. Thank you once again Mr. Green (:
This. This right here, is why I watch vlogbrothers and really anything produced or vaguely touched by John and/or Hank Green. I literally searched RUclips for "What to do with my life" and this little gem popped up. Granted, I watch vlogbrothers weekly, as well as Crash Course and Mental Floss which means the search has developed my preferences and gives me what I so desire, on RUclips anyhow. But I digress... John, Hank, DFTBA.
Mister Green, there is simply no other way of phrasing this other than the timeless and (almost) aforementioned "I love you man"
One of the greatest videos in the world.
This is really what I need now. Having a sibling is a blessing. Once again I am facing that biggest questions "What should I do with my life?". Me and my brothers recently had a heart-to-heart discussion on what we're gonna do with our lives as everything seems sooo uncertain and screwed. I wish I had an older cousin or an uncle like you. You're funny and I love to hear your advice on stuffs like this. I just couldn't communicate with my parents. They just don't listen... sigh...
After today's video - the Perspective video - I came back to this. The way your words, whether they are in written form or spoken through a small youtube screen, influence young people all over the world is unique and incredible. Thank you for staying awesome, John.
It's funny because the bit where you mentioned Astrophysics is directly relevant to me :) Not surprisingly, John, you give very good advice here too. One shouldn't limit oneself to the basic life model society throws at us - to live life fully you shouldn't be afraid of trying new and different things that broaden and deepen you as a person, even if they appear difficult or illogical and more rooted in passion to everyone else. People often have more control over their lives than they realise, and I'd rather live my life actively pursuing whatever it is that I want to do, no matter at what stage in my life, than just passively living my life with regrets.
This might be one of the best and most inspirational videos on RUclips.
Although I had seen these awesome brothers for years, it wasn't until this year that I managed to sit down and see what they are about. I subbed in the spring of this year and have been backlogging videos. This video is mind blowing and somewhat sad to me. I'm currently 25 and I'm honestly just understanding this. Even at my age as I'm AWARE I'm growing into an adult, I'm being pushed in the direction of that mono lifestyle...since no else around me knows any better as well
I'm so glad I found this video again!! The quote about working with people you like etc etc is one I've had written down for years and I just never could remember which vlogbrothers video it was from. This video is a gem for sure
What a comforting video...
The algorithm recommended this video to me today. I needed it. Can john answer this question again today i think that would be awesome :)
This video really spoke to me. I think i'm going to bookmark this video and watch it every day, or at least when I need to, because that fear really does get to me and I've already spent hours freaking out about what my major is going to be and I've already wasted a year of college by picking the wrong classes, and all your videos about college give me hope. I'm sorry about the run-on sentence, but I just want you to know i'm slowly being cured of my anxiety-produced paralysis with help from you.
I have been stressing over everything you touched upon. School, careers, work...it's too much to handle sometimes. "study broadly" is probably the best thing I could have heard, at this moment. Thank you!
Thanks man, needed this
I'm at the tail end of my degree and I feel like it's so goddamn hopeless. I hate my degree so much, and I have no idea what alternatives I have. Accounting and taxation are my majors and I genuinely cannot think of a worse combination to have chosen, but I can't do anything because my mother will disown me if I try to choose something else, and I'm belittled for every hobby I try to take on, and there's increasing pressure on me to quickly finish my degree and "will you just get a stable job and be done with stupid dreams of alternatives?"
I'm only 20 but I feel so miserable and trapped. I've always wanted to do something creative or involving problem-solving, but I have no idea where to even begin. I was going to do engineering but my mum talked me out of it. I'm five weeks into this semester and I've had more breakdowns than assignments. I know no one will even see this or reply, but I just wanted to let it all out. All my friends can do is to offer some encouragement but I totally understand they can't really help me, however one also told me to grow up and stop dreaming about doing something "stupid" like design. I'm also already much older to begin design compared to others, who all have started design in early high school. It feels so shit and I genuinely don't know what to do.
And I know it's not my mum's life it's mine, but no matter what I do, as soon as I misstep, she immediately berates me and guilt-trips me for failing, and this is what I've had to put up with for the past 10 years in education. I have no confidence in myself. I have no idea what to do.
Current Aesthetic same problem with me...i cant think of what i am gonna do in future.
Current Aesthetic quit accounting, robots will replace that within 10 years
Hey there. Your comment is from a year ago, so I wonder if you've figured something out at this point. I've never been in your exact situation but the feeling of being trapped is something I relate to. My best advice is to forget what everyone is telling you to do, and instead just try and find a balance between what you love and what's practical (i.e., what makes a decent living, what's achievable, etc.) It's a hard balance to strike. I'm 28 and I'm still trying to do it. Believe me, I had NO IDEA how the world worked at 21, so you have plenty of time to start over (and over again!) if things don't work out.
Sounds like you need to find a therapist or other person with authority and tell them about your mom's toxic behavior
As you try new things (without being shot down), you'll find that the things you love doing give you far more benefit than the things that you dislike or hate that happen to earn you more money
A life spent obeying the detested whims of others to the detriment of your own happiness and potential can be to some extent wasted
You only have one life. How do you want to remember it?
Remember that you always have more power over your life than another person does. It just depends on what you're willing to do to obtain your freedom (in this case, not letting your mom discourage you and seeking out a counselor, someone to help. Which can hurt, but it's necessary)
It's been 2 years, so I hope stuff is better now. Best of luck
It seems that you should disown your mom, she is ruining you
I LOVE YOU, JOHN. & HANK. THANK YOU.
Sincerely,
A senior in high school asking herself this question.
this video was helpful in atleast calming my stupid side down. i was fretting about my what to do after 12th all week and suddenly remembered there was a vlogbrothers video with this title that i never watched. finally did and i feel a lot better already. thank you, john green :D
I'm about to graduate from college, and even though I've seen this before (and know some of this from experience), it still made me feel calmer.
Ok, I'm just gonna say it- I kind of cried a little watching this... Probably it was from sleep deprivation, but it also could have been that this was exactly what I needed to hear, and thank you enormously for that!
Had watched this video long ago and suddenly today, I was feeling very lost and depressed and this shows up! This is kinda very comforting
Thank you! This seriously really hit home! I felt really lost when it came to any future career and now I'm not so anxious about going forward. Great video!
You guys inspire me. Thank you!
John Green, I love you.
We all do. :)
that was probably the most uplifting content I have seen on youtube in months, keep up the good work. You Green brothers are made of the right stuff.
I'm going to have a part time job as a teacher, and start my own performance psychology business involving a confidence building class for kids using drama and music. I'll also be in my brass band and volunteer for guides and write my novels and learn guitar and sing and draw and love life. I'm 15 and I know where I'm going, I'm happy with the way my life is going and I'm happy you made this video for people who aren't that fortunate. Big love John!
How did it go? I'm 16 and I'm scared for what I want to do so how did it go for you?
@@dxnielfrns I hate to say it but I got into working in IT, it's ten years later and I had to accept that running my own business wasn't financially viable for me. I still volunteer and love everything I do outside of work and I find my work interesting. Sometimes it's ok to pivot as you grow
John Green is excitingly erratic in the way he describes things XD
Right? He gets those crazy eyes and that's when I know it's real. John is passionate and he is about to bless me with some wisdom.
eccentric, is the word youre looking for in lieu of excitingly erratic
Loved the ending
Watched 2 videos just now and I like your way of thinking. You have gained a subscriber!
This video completely neutralises my stress and confusion whenever I think about the future.
It gives positive outlook on uncertainity and the assurance that everything will be alright no matter what you choose to do,if you have a right attitude towards it.
Hello, thank you this was one of the best videos I have ever seen in my life.
You saved me a lot of hours worrying. Really fucking thank you. Am I able to donate to you somewhere?
+Rumble Spec buy his books? or donate to crash course, buy merch...there is a long list of things really.
www.patreon.com/crashcourse
When he first talks about what people think life is like at the beginning is literally the jist of what my parents believe life is.
***** Just seen this video for the first today...having spent months in a downward spiral of stress and depression over this very topic...I gotta say...you make it sound super simple when you put it like that.
I'm 34 and have been freaking out because I'm single, and I have no idea how to do what I feel drawn to do.
After watching this, I realized I'm wasting time and energy stressing... I need to just get doing what I feel drawn to and let "life" just happen.
Long winded way of saying thanks John!
This is my favorite Vlogbrothers video. Watched it 100+ times now.
"Hank, you have a stupid face!" I randomly saw this video soon after watching another one from a year ago, where John asks his daughter Alice to give him something mean to say to Hank. In that one, she suggested telling him he has a stupid butt. Heredity at its finest.
Also, thank you RUclips Algorithm, for showing me two random vlogbrothers videos with a unique connection!
I honestly think that public high school sets you up better for college and having friends later on. But if you're already extroverted and plan on using homeschooling to get ahead in the curriculum or don't plan on going to college, then homeschooling would probably be just fine for you.
I needed this today. Thank you for your existence.
Watching this now, and once again the RUclips algorithm and the Green brothers found a way to make me smile.
I am a Chemical Engineering Student, I have an Animation Degree
I am a Seamstress, I work at Retail
I am A wife, I am a friend
You are not one thing, the choice you make will evolve and develop you don't need to commit to it for ever.
I had an unexpected dream: we met, John. In the study of the little girl I am tutoring in English. The I in my dream felt surprise when you showed up - all of a sudden, biensur! And then you started talking (you talked more than I did, which is funny, because I talk a lot, and you were reassuring), but I didn't listen to much. I can't really tell you if you have me advised on something or told me about your childhood pets, but I felt very serene. The feeling of calmness lasted two minuted into waking up, when I realized that we, unfortunately, did not meet and I, so be it!, still know not how to proceed.
Nearly five years later, this is still the best advice I've ever been given. Any time I know someone who is struggling with this same question, I just show them this video. It's become my "oh the places you'll go," so to speak.
There's this quote from one of my favorites books ever which says something like "there's no right way to live, all we can do is choose a path and run and run and see how far we can make it". I found it in a time where i was really lost about what to do with my life, which would be the right choice for me, and it has really helped me a lot. We may not know which path is the right one, and we may make the wrong choice, and we might change it completely halfway throught, but what matters is to keep going forward, find how far you can make it and that's enough.
Surround yourself with people you like? That's kind of hard for me :(
+sydney yendys How about imaginary friends? (No pun intended).
+David Sebastian I have the same problem,
But I fight with my imaginary friends too
David Sebastian Blair Farrell Imaginary friends can be so heartless sometimes.
sydney yendys yep.
+s I have people that I like but I don't know how to surround myself with them
Hank and/or John, please write an autobiography about either your childhood or beginning nerdfighteria. Would be amazing!
This highly comforted and inspired me.
Thank you.
My first vlogbrothers video ever. Thank you John :)
I don’t want to go to school tho.. it scares me.. it’s boring to me.. it makes me depressed
I was premed last year and now I am doing software engineering. The purpose of my life has been to prove John Greens one statement wrong. I can die happy now.
this is truly a great video, thank you John!
Thank you John, just thank you so much for everything
I loved this video, very cute but actually helped in a not so "help book" way.
bout to make "study broadly and without fear" my graduation cap WATCH OUT. im painting it tonight :)))))
John Green, every video in which I hear you share your ideas and your hilariousness makes my day. Seriously, thank you.
Thank you for finally putting into words the scary experience of choosing. For the past year I have been struggling with my choice to become a teacher. Most of my peers aren't sure about their majors, let alone the jobs they want afterwards. Starting on a path that had a "clear-ish" destination made me worried that I was going to miss out on the freedom of not knowing. But this is what I want to be doing, and the choice to do so may be limiting, but it shouldn't be so in a frightening way. dftba