I came back from an extremely heavy, exhausting, and social intensive emergency family trip (my uncle had passed) and I just couldn't not even just speak, I couldn't *write* to anyone, I couldn't deal with the *thought* of messaging anyone or doing anything that involved any sort of brain power much less communicating in any way. I didn't eat, I just changed, closed off my room to sounds and light, and fell in bed, and watched videos mindlessly, in very low volume and no brightness, barely even taking them in and not even playing games along, or checking anything else on the computer at the same time, like I usually do. I stayed in zombie mode until night time, and I only felt a little bit like myself again the next day. It was one of the most intense of those experiences for me.
Yeah, I get it. I've been in such a panic I've listened to long infomercials because I couldn't process how to handle my phone. Have things improved? I hope so. (:
I recently had to go to the ER; my husband stayed with me and was very supportive but I kept suggesting that he go home, rest, eat, etc. because I know that I would be approaching burnout if the situation was reversed.
Figuring out and accepting that I'm autistic is a relatively new thing for me and my family. When I was in my early 20s, I was working retail, going to school, and heavily involved with my church. Then I got hit with a whole bunch of new stressors in my life, lost my job, had to quit school, and got very sick. I went into a deep and prolonged burnout and completely stopped masking. I had to figure out and start expressing my needs, such as breaks from noisy environments, even though I didn't know why I needed it. Because of all this, I lost all of my friends, but what hurt the most was my aunt saying that she didn't know who I was anymore and stopped inviting me to family functions. I didn't talk to my dad's side of my family for years. My mom has been my rock through ALL of it. She is my voice when mine doesn't work.
It’s sad that many NTs only accept people if they are performing as expected 😢 I’m glad you’re learning how to manage your needs instead just ignoring it and heading toward burnout again 👏🏽❤️
@@nmg6248 This is why masking is so prevalent. Especially among girls with more social pressures.. I don't feel like I've ever truly been accepted, even by other autistic ppl sometimes. I have no real friends, and 2 of my favorite ppl in the world recently passed away. I feel myself reaching burnout, but there's nothing I can do because I'm in college, searching for a job, live with 4 family members and feel like I have absolutely no one to turn to about anything, besides my brother, and he's younger than me with limited emotional capacity for other ppls' problems .. no health insurance and can't afford therapy :(
For me it's like when you have a stamina bar in a game and you keep trying to run but not allowing your stamina to regenerate so all you can do is short bursts of speed and all that happens is that you don't get anywhere and just rage quit.
Is that autism? When i come from university, i feel like not talking to anyone. Like i want this time for only me. I get irritated if i dont get time that i am by myself everyday. I hate group studies.
This could explain why i had really bad attendance at school. Everyday was an uphill battle with my social anxiety but at this point, i rarely feel anything. My special interests still make me happy, but i always feel like there's something missing when i engage with those activities. Like a part of me died a long time ago, and i never noticed.
I can relate to this, especially recently. I feel like it still brings me joy to play music, but I was so much more into it in high school/early college years. Like what changed and how can I get it back to how it was. For reference, I couldn’t stay in a classroom in high school because of my anxiety/panic attacks
I cant do social gatherings, either. I got forced into it with my husbands huge family, when he was alive. I can do one on one social talking. No one ever contacted me again after my husband died, except one time. Fourteen years ago since. Thank you so much for this Orion. I couldnt figure out what has been going on with me not wanting to do anything lately. Even cooking and sewing which i enjoy. Autistic Burnout. It has a name!
Ive been diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome 16 years ago, been trying to find a medical for my trouble, and finding nothing... Thanks to these videos, I'm only now learning that it's actually autism. Thanks Orion.
Seriously though!! I was diagnosed several years ago with CFS and I was determined to continue searching for why. While they have found a lot wrong with me, it’s all been fixed now and my symptoms aren’t better. I’m pretty positive I’m on the spectrum, as my son is and things I thought were totally normal were actually autistic traits. I just want my life back, I can’t do this anymore.
Great insight! I have cfs and Fibromyalgia, I have been wondering for some time if that's related to my autism. My flares seem to line up with the burnout he's describing.
I decided to not mask anymore when I turned 26 the February 20th. It's been a bumpy ride since then. People say that I've changed. And they look scared when I explain what masking is. People believe that I'm drunk/on drugs, depressed or have gone completely insane. They have asked me upfront. I feel happier and don't crash just as often. Only masking when I really have to. Like a business meeting or if I'm talking to a client.
The worst part about being burned out is when I finally try to self advocate and share what would help me destress, people get mad at me like I’m a burden.
As someone with autism I often experience burnout like you. I thought this was something related to depression as I'm also diagnosed with anxiety and depression. My parents also think the same. I didn't know there was such thing as autistic burnout. I just thought it was my depression making me feel too burnt out to be able to cope with stuff. You have explained it perfectly. For me it's like my brain has crashed like a computer and needs time to reboot.
"you treat your computer better then an autistic person" that hit home very hard, currently fighting to start on my diagnosis and as i suspected am in a burnout right now for a good while, i never understood why i was so tired or just did not feel the energy to simply take a quick shower. thank you, your video has explained so much on why i am feeling the way i am feeling, and hopefully work my way out of this sooner then later.
At least they recognized depression. Will usually say “everyone depressed”. Funny how they move down the line. Also even the professionals. Used to say I couldn’t focus in college days I was doing an apprenticeship program. Doc laughed and said I knew that question was coming. So I stopped giving them my insurance money. Fast forward I went in because I felt I was autistic and having burnouts and difficulty with eye contact. This isn’t new. I just thought it was all anxiety/ depression symptoms. Doc doesn’t think it’s Asperger’s. I’m positive it’s Asperger’s too. But they handed me adderall like candy. If you want adderall just tell them you’re autistic lol. As for me I truly am struggling and I hate going back to those Places. You can take my spot.
OMG, I needed to learn this so much!! I've literally been married to my guy for 7+ yrs & am just realizing he's autistic!! It doesn't change the fact that I think he's great & sexy. Now I understand better how to function together. This will increase the chances of us having a long, happy marriage
I have been recently diagnosed as having high-functioning autisim and I can't begin to explain how that has helped me understand myself better. I read about burnout sometimes because I constantly felt like I was burned out but no matter how much time I took from things I would start having it again... Now everything is starting to make sense! Thank you for informing us 💛
You’re not high functioning; it’s rude that anyone told you that you are because that’s for them not US, for us we are either autistic or not; we may or may not have this challenge or that challenge with what difference things we experience personally as autistic people. I’m sure many a times you DONT feel high functioning?? And then I know a 6 year old level 3 autistic boy who can use the toilet, eat and basically do everything but he can’t talk fully yet and can’t always understand language but he understands by showing him etc. the typical people would label him low functioning but he is not either high or low and a whole person , he just has different experiences from another autistic and has good and bad days. The autistic community at large are throwing functioning levels/labels in the trash.. we are all equally autistic 👌😁🙌💜
taking time away can help recover from burn out, but ultimately going back to the way things were before the break will rapidly burn you out again. Literal heat is a good analogy, if you put something in the oven it will heat up and eventually burn. If you remove it, it cools down, and if you put it back in the oven.... you gotta change the temperature, maybe put it somewhere else instead, adjust SOMETHING to help prevent the burnout occurring in the first place.
Thank you so much for this. Currently in a burnout that has lasted for more than a year. I genuinely expected this video to have hundreds of thousands of views because it’s by far the most helpful i’ve found on here so far. This will help me explain so much to the people in my life. Thank you for the amazing content.
@@emilyeah I grew up in a household with many children close in age, not enough space and an emotionally unregulated parent that always yelled. Straight from that into the instability of working class young adulthood. Only having finally carved out a small degree of stability and calm in middle age I find myself realizing, I think I've been in a state of continuous burnout most of my life!
As an American i cannot afford professional diagnosis, im fairly certain im on the spectrum. I look at it like a battery(for peopling). Peopling is any human interaction to me. The bigger the crowd the faster it gets drained. I cannot thank you enough for everything you do! Definitely given me more ways to cope. You are awesome.
If you can, try talking to a community clinic. Ask them to refer you to a counselor for mental health. Most community clinics, if they charge a sliding fee, they will wave it, or bill you later, but they will not stop seeing you if you are unable to pay it. Took me a long time to figure that out. Feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions.
What does being American have to do with it? Autism is autism. If you recognize the traits; it's real to you. Despite you being American 😊 I say this as a Dutch person so what do I know, right?😅
I am just coming out of a burnout and it made me realise that I need to find a new job. The job I currently have just doesn't work well with my mental health. I feel like I am having to fight to be heard, and I am exhausted.
Hey Orion, aspi woman in my late 40s here . Diagnosed when my daughter was . I have autistic burn out often, I'm just coming out of a bout of it now , it can last for a week or so normally, can't talk , listen to people's problems, can't deal with narcissists or anyone really. Major my malinois and Torvi my whippet are so good when it happens, Major is good at telling me I'm about to burn out , he senses it and suddenly won't leave my side and his eyes are full of concern and support. I love being alone , just me and the animals, they don't judge , make you feel bad if you don't have a shower , change your clothes or eat , they just patiently support you through it , unlike humans they aren't closed off , selfish, narcissistic, they are empathetic and live I the moment and love unconditionally. They have got me through my entire life from horses , to my snake when he was alive , doesn't seem to matter what species it is , they are way more in tune and on point than humans. Thank you 😊
I have spent years experiencing this but labeling it Major Depressive Disorder because I was completely unaware of the presence of Autism. This led me to not understand the origin "why" things seemed so difficult in the first place. That leads to constant disappointment in yourself and from people around me.
This has been the case with me, diagnosed with Major Depressive disorder, General anxiety and very stimulated meanwhile this is making so much sense mixed with basic needs not being met, lack of purpose amongst the world demands. It goes deep 😅.
I'm pretty sure I'm experiencing an extended period of autistic burnout. I'm 36 and was diagnosed a week ago. I'm finding videos like this so helpful in better understanding myself. plus, I really find listening to fellow Aussies so much easier!
I am currently in a horrible burnout. I was already going down badly but then I caught Covid in early Jan. and I'm not recovering very fast at all. I also suffer from adrenal fatigue but when my life is in balance, I don't feel the Aspergers or the adrenal fatigue. Last year pushed me to the limit. One good or negative crisis stacked on top of the other and I was required to juggle many details and tasks all day long. By May, I knew I was in bad shape but I had to keep going and pushing until my son's wedding in mid-December. Once the New Year came, things calmed down but that's when the Covid hit. The weakness I have experienced is downright frightening. It feels that if I would just let go, I would die. It's very bad. My husband keeps telling me to "hang on" as he also has Aspergers and so does my son. We understand each other but honestly, not one thing helps when you get this bad. Resting feels horrible because you can feel how weak you are and moving feels horrible because it keeps reminding you of how weak you are. I have been through this about 5 or 6 times in my lifetime and every time it happens, it takes me many months to get to where I can function more normally. It complicates it that I need to work at my family business but I can't, which means no income and my customers breathing down my neck. I am an educator and performer and a church worship leader. I can't do any of it right now and I can see by the small efforts I make to try to function, it only sends me back to square one right now. For the brain, the best thing that I have found to help is to take periods of the day and just be in silence. If I am strong enough to get there, I go out into my garden and just sit and listen and look. I can't handle any information at these times and making decisions is impossible. What I'm saying is that the burnout is not only mental but very physical for me. It's truly, truly horrible - scary. It feels like its never going to end. The depression of not being able to do anything or think through anything creates a darkness that feels like it consumes me. I can't relate to people at all. I just have to let the crash happen and it is only my faith in God that helps me survive these times. You are very right in saying the path to burnout is not taking care of ourselves and doing the things we need to do to self regulate. I had no time this past year to do that. Everyone needed me and I had so many things I wanted to accomplish for my son's wedding and most of them did not happen because of the pile on of duties. It broke my heart that I wasn't able to get them all done and it did, in fact, make his wedding much less than it should have been. I had to let it all go and just accept the situation. The difficult part is, just like you said, you can't even do the simple things you love to do that would help your brain to heal. For me that would be sewing, crochet, or gardening. I am soo weak right now and from what I am experiencing with the efforts I make, it's going to be months maybe before I can do those things again. It is a very scary place to be. I'm writing this to help others who might only be experiencing this for the first time who don't realize just how bad it can be. The best advice is to find ways to take the times out you need before it goes over the edge. I so badly wish I could have done that. As I'm getting older, I have no doubt that one of these times I won't make it through. This has made me realize that I'm going to have to make some big decisions about my life that are going to be difficult. Big changes coming. I'm sorry this is so long. Thank you for this video. I meant to add that last year, after many years of weeding out toxic people from my life, I had to embrace someone who came into my life who is very toxic. I knew mostly it would be a for a time but it had to be done for personal reasons. I have no doubt that dealing with this person and all the havoc they created was the tipping point for me. I HIGHLY recommend to any person on the spectrum to do your best to weed out the toxic people and situations out of your life. It could be detrimental to an upcoming burnout you really don't want to have.
You have explained this better than almost anyone else. My NT wife and I were watching Orion's video here and I started explaining, or trying to explain, to her how bad my burnout got when it got profoundly bad, how it was a powerful, painful physical feeling of being a hair's breadth from death and that the slightest mental surrender could send you there. It is indeed scary and I started sending goodbye notes to loved ones. And, yes, peculiarly rest didn't even help much. I think it could potentially be a stage beyond burnout. Someone else mentioned the vibrating sensation, clinically known as internal tremors, and those could get horrendous and painful. I went through all this without knowing any term to apply to it.
Thank you for posting this! I hope your circumstances have improved 🙏🏽❤️ I never attributed my times of deep, deep lows to autistic burnout, but after reading so many peoples experiences and watching this video I see now that of course that’s what was happening 😮 I would suggest a couple things that I learned this year after a head injury prevented me from being able to do ANY of my usual activities especially the ones caring for others, and just focus on caring for myself… everyone else might miss the things you used to do for them, and their lives may be less rich because of it, BUT they can and will adapt. Especially since they have to anyway when you are recovering from burnout. And the health and peace you find for yourself will improve your quality of life so much! This is something I’ve noticed, especially in women, and it goes for NTs and NDs alike: working ourselves to collapse. Then and only then do we feel we can take a rest. Sadly that rest often comes after a catastrophic illness has manifested like a heart attack, stroke, Parkinson’s, even dementia. Taking care of yourself now helps ward off stress related illness and dysfunction later that may become chronic or even deadly. So many reasons to care for and take time for ourselves ❤
After struggling through 3 major burnouts I finally received the diagnosis of autism earlier this year. This video is one of the most helpful and eye-opening ones I've seen so far. Thank you so much.
This was so incredibly helpful. I am late diagnosed AuDHD(2020), ended up in a mental hospital for depression in 2021, and have been chronically fatigued for about 3 years now. I was diagnosed with ME/CFS, but it never sat right with me. I lost all ability to mask (which led to the diagnosis at age 52) and now have almost daily lie downs in a darkened room where I have to be physically horizontal. I am 100% sure I have been in daily autistic burnout for three years (and the circumstances surrounding this length of time have included trauma, ill health, house moves, house renovations, etc, like a freaking tsunami, where I have not been able to catch a break). Being able to have the anatomy of it laid out in such a succinct way has helped me understand. Also, I have a lot of internalised ableism and will often shame myself (thank you RSD and cPTSD), so I am going to spend some time working on that too.
My brother told me he was autistic when he was in his 40s. I thought his behavior was normal. He was a drummer, and was good at socializing, but rarely did because he was drumming. He was also a total workaholic, like my dad. But he was quiet a lot. Fortunately my family was very accepting of our all 3 of we children's behaviors. I was very quiet and introverted, and read most of the time. My sister was gregarious. I have had 7 or 8 close friends in my life, but since we moved every year or so, none of them were for very long. I accepted being lonely early in my childhood. I'm almost 70.
So fkin well put. The shame of being 'rude' when shutting down(particular loved ones) and the complicated projected motivations that are received from those around when the brain has absolutely no motivation other than "escape" is the toughest point for me. Brace, head down, absorb and get through. It's here that the normal translation really breaks down and people end up hurt and perceived debt increases
I'm going to add that I'm 53 and have only recently discovered something I've often suspected - that I am indeed on the spectrum. I've experienced two of these burnouts in recent memory and they're pretty much spot on to what you've described here. Walking around like a zombie for a week because nothing 'does it' for you, and the things you hold dear become meaningless ... it's not something I'd ever wish on anyone. When it happens, I am powerless to stop it. I often take on too much for myself and if I go for weeks without any decompression time, this results. I've learned to moderate my 'load', so to speak ... to prevent this from happening as much as I can. One of my special interests is working on cars & in one of my burnouts, I was forced into having to do this to my own car due to a failure it experienced and this interaction brought me back out of the 'experience'. I noted that halfway through the repair, I was starting to have fun again. Thank you for posting this.
Yes! Total shutdown. It's like shutting down a laptop and then not charging it because you can't be bothered. So oversaturated and overstimulated that the person needs to stop everything. My recent experience anyway.
Thank you so much for this video. I'm definitely burnt out, and currently saving an f you fund so I can take a proper period of time out to reboot. I'm so sick of working so hard to meet neurotypicals in a way they understand, only to slip up once and be completely and utterly berated. I'm in physical pain from masking day in day out on top of burnout (tensed muscles etc. I'm not exaggerating or being metaphorical. Everything hurts from having to be someone else)
Heck yes! Thank you so much for explaining this. I've always explained it to myself in terms of, 'I'm too tired to pretend to be normal today', but have avoided explaining it like that to other people in case they think I'm nuts :) Watching this has made me realise that this is, essentially, what's happening - and that for many people it is 'normal' and justified to feel like this. I've been through a lot of changes lately: new job, new house, new part of the country, developed a new medical condition which stops me from doing some of what I used to, gained weight due to said condition... I feel like I'm always either in or bordering on burnout as I haven't had time to adapt to the changes, and am worried that acting 'weird' at work will cost me my job. Sadly I can't go into my 'fortress of solitude' as I'm expected at the office, but I'm going to try to do the other stuff you have advised, like trying to get back into my hobbies and cutting out unnecessary activities. Going to keep an eye on your channel for any other tips. Thanks again :)
Hey Orion, you are one of my top three go to guys in the autism community. I was in a deep burnout when I first found your channel and through your wisdom came to know that if I am 70 and find commonality with autistic people, I am probably autistic, so I wasted no time with diagnosis. Thank you❤️
I’ve had several bad burnouts when I was younger for a few months at a time- but definitely agree with you about the older you get , the worse it gets . The trouble is , I can’t really have a burnout / recovery anymore, as I have two children who are also Autistic and for whom I’m completely responsible for and there’s no one else . They simply can’t function without help and we have none. I’ve developed an autoimmune disease because of this and I’m so exhausted. Not sure how to get better from this as I have to keep going , there’s no help and no choice .
I was gonna comment something about a housekeeper, nanny or social worker, but I don't know your resources in your area. So I'll say this; reach out to other people around you. Do you have neighbours, friends? Could you ask them to babysit for you sometimes? Relatives' or coworkers' adult kids, students? Someone who would do it for pocket money or a small favour in return when an opportunity arises in the future? I'm a scout leader in my twenties, I would watch your kids for a few hours occasionally as a good deed or form of friendship. But people never ask that. So there are probably people around me that are struggling and I don't know. Do your kids have friends? That would be another option to arrange your own time.
Thank you for putting words on my condition, I am in an autistic brun out for a while now... I was panicking because I couldn't mask anymore put I thought I was just going stupid. i lost my skills at paintings, at doing photography which I love but I do not have any motivation to do my passions and it's really hard to accept. I am so relieved to know what is happening to me, thank you!
I think autistic burnout has been useful to me at least to learn what it means to know myself as I masked my whole life until I was forced by lack of energy to just be honestly myself. I’ve learned who I really am through such burnouts.
I’ve been experiencing autistic burnout for a few years now because I had no idea except that everything was stressful and overwhelming and I was tired all the time and I would forget things and seem to not be able to think clearly. I wanted to believe I was “normal” and just living too stressful of a life. Well part of that is true, I was under too much stress. Lots of things are making more sense and I’m starting to be kinder to myself and actively work on not masking. After spending most of my 35 years of life masking, it’s been hard to let go of those masks. It was actually therapy for social anxiety that helped me realize I was autistic. My therapist gave me exercises that were to help heal my inner child and kept saying “you may or may not find out why you have this anxiety and either is ok we aren’t going to push it.” Sure enough I figured it out. I’m slowly remembering what I used to do as a kid and a teenager before I started this full time masking I’ve been doing. I’m starting to find that I just suppressed my need to stim, follow my interests, take breaks by myself, etc. I’m slowly getting myself back and it’s been very freeing.
Apologies beforehand. This world has sapped every ounce of me 😮 (not nature and wildlife). I do what I can with what I have but I don’t know anymore. Everything you cover in your brilliant, well informed content is relatable and experience most of it, it is so overwhelming to integrate everything from care, development, acquiring skills and keeping up with modern living , being unemployed doesn’t help. The worst part is the daily ignorance, being shunned,misunderstood and gaslit constantly. Then they go on with be positive, you making this up and are excuses,don’t be a victim and go live like everyone else. Sorry for the rant. Thanks Orion and to all of us here, I Love You.
I haven’t been diagnosed with autism or adhd, but your, and others’ videos have made my entire life make more sense. I’ve had this happen at multiple jobs, and I try to put in my notice, but my boss refuses to accept it, and I get talked out of it. Then when nothing changed, I just walked out, and refused to talk to anyone. My current experience has lasted about 2.5 years, and doctors/therapists just treat me for depression, anxiety, general autoimmune issues and neuropathy, but I know that’s not all that is going on. But when I bring it up to them, it seems to get ignored, so I don’t know what to do. It seems as I get older it’s taking me longer and longer to recover and more difficult to mask for long periods of time.
thanks man, gonna send this video to my mum now. school’s really been getting to me and there’s no way i can explain. i just need a day off so this is a great help
I didn't realize this was an autistic trait.. I get these every week, and I end up doing nothing else than watching something. And self-care goes out the window, very often. I want as little stress as possible, and other people stressing over things I don't stress over, makes me stress over them, it's horrible. I recently started baking again, I've made cupcakes 3 times in the last week, but I have no one to give them too, and I can't eat them all, haha. And also I like cooking food, I just do as I feel like, and it's always great! It's really hard to start activities, yes. I also realized I work better, with company, about things I don't really want to do.. so getting them planed with other people, is good. They don't have to help me, just be there, it's easier :) Thanks for this information ^_^ btw, if you want to, you can view videos on x2 the speed - I understand why you speak clear and "slower"? But I like to get through it faster, I think you're very good at explaning things :)
For me, it is the absence of relevance or common sense. This year, I have fallen into a state of utter exhaustion, with loss of speech, loss of memory, loss of balance and issues with reading, It turned out it was autistic burnout. I am a woman in her early forties, and after being a pretty high flyer, I had come to the end of the trail of relevance. I usually mask and push myself quite a lot. It’s been months, and I still haven’t fully recovered, and I don’t think I ever will fully, especially reading or anything that I am not convince has any kind of relevance in the modern human society’s daily activities. I already had stopped talking after a big family reveal when in my early twenties. It lasted months. Now I know it was autistic burnout.
Thank you so much for your video - currently working through a day of being non-verbal and completely frozen - but this and the comments gave me just enough of a boost to make tea, light candles and incense, and listen to crickets. Thank you all, and sending a lil boost to you ♥️🐛
I am currently in the middle of a burnout, having lost passion for everything that used to bring me joy. I was forced into retirement by a company that prefers to outsource to another country. I felt sorrowful at this loss. Now I sleep literally half the day away. My sleep schedule is definitely never on a 24 hour cycle, either. I need to find another job so I can afford to keep my home, but I feel frozen to do so. Freaking out bad!!! 😭
This was a wow moment. I have these daily at the moment. And had one that lasted 16 days. And YES!!! It feels EXACTLY like a brain reset. Cause every time it ends, I feel like I’m being given another chance. It’s so hard sometimes, but I’ve found the more I learn, the more it makes sense and I wonder less and less about what I’m going through. Thank you Orion 🙏
"driving truck" 😂😂 You made me miss smallville! Great video, didn't know about autistic burnout. Also didn't know how impactful shaming was for people that are autistic. I have a bunch of trauma from being shamed and maybe this is part of it.
I find there is a lot of self regulating I need to do to stay away from autistic burnout, and a lot of it includes things like reminders on my phone, to do lists, journaling, exercise, mindfulness, limiting caffeine and sugars that may lead to energy crashes, and just staying aware of my energy levels. I've learned to avoid multitasking as much as possible and give my brain as few things to work through at once as I can. As soon as I have to start juggling things I find the stress levels increase and its not long before I am completely drained.
I find the older I get, the more frequent the burnouts happen and the longer it takes to bounce back from an episode. I feel as though I peaked in my 40's for my tolerance of social situations etc and now that I'm in my 50's, that resiliency is failing.
This video has put into words how I often feel as a high masking, undiagnosed adult. Sometimes after a week of constant colleague and client contact, I just want to relax without human interaction, but never really understood why. Thank you so much
I’ve been going to different doctors for years trying to figure out why I’m always so exhausted. Last year I was diagnosed as autistic (after being treated for depression/anxiety/ADHD since age 13). I’m still exhausted, but I have fewer doctors appointments trying to figure why, so I have fewer demands to engage with the medical community, which is good. Those interactions are some of the most dreaded in my life, from insurance, to filling out forms, to trying to explain things, to trying a whole lot of useless things that ultimately made me feel even more exhausted.
This is a really pertinent video to show 'your other half' and I love the way you've simplified through illustrating through really understandable analogies. Thank you Orion for another fantastic video. Greetings form Scotland 🏴
I'm going to recommend your channel because you know exactly what you're talking about. I have two autistic adult sons and I suspect that my daughter is also autistic. I also suspect that I am a 56-year-old undiagnosed autistic. You have just described my life and daily experience:)
ABSOLUTELY 100% CORRECT. THANK YOU FOR YOUR EXPLANATION.....YOU ARE HELPING SO MANY TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY CANNOT EXPLAIN TO OTHERS. IT HAS BEEN 5 YEARS SINCE I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO BE ALONE.THEY THINK WHY DON'T THEY DO WHAT IS EXPECTED....SHAMING.....MAKES SOMEONE DO THE OPOSITE....TRYING TO CONTROL THEIR OWN WORLD. I UNDERSTAND NOW.....THANK YOU SO MUCH🌹
This is the video I've been looking for. I really relate this the things he's saying. I just moved to another country and am going to a new high school. It's really hard making friends and I get these Autistic Burnouts a lot. I sometimes feel like I can't breath or think straight. Even trying to off myself on some of the worst days ever. Thank you for making this video. It's really means a lot to me.
WOW. You have just described me, exactly how I am. You described exactly what I keep telling people I need but can't get. Now though, I have a video I can share with explains what I could not explain myself. Thank you!
I have a close friend, whom I love deeply and who learned of his Autism very late in life. I really value this video as Ive only recently discovered your channel (& bought your phenomenal book). He has had 'shutting down periods' before which I now understand to be Autism burnout. Very recently he has alerted me that its time again to 'close the door'. Im incredibly sorry and sad that I just didn't see it coming this time tbh and it feels like we've both derailed. But i thank you sincerely for your insights, advice and encouragement to just give the space and time needed to reboot. Its made me think about ways to refresh our understanding of each other's capacities and the subtleties of how we communicate together. Superman is a tough gig... but it seriously gave me a really helpful mental anchor for this down time. Thank you. I really appreciate it/you. BTW...THERE IS NO SHAME ♡
After 6 burnouts I got diagnosed with autism. I understand it all a lot better now. When I'm really exhausted I just respond with an emoji in a conversation to let someone know I have read what they posted.
First major burnout in a while. This video was very helpful. I just hope the ones I shared it with take the time to learn. It's not my fault. I'm trying but it's hard
I took the first step yesterday to having an assessment by a triage of private doctors who are experts in autism. It’s costing most of our savings, but at least it will be official and I can explain to people. Thanks for this wonderful upload. 🥰
I’m 62 and only diagnosed two years ago, and I’m soooooo grateful for all the info you post on these things! How I wish my brain came with an instruction manual! My retreats usually involve all my pets lying on top of me in a dark room while I listen to my very repetitive emergency music playlist and stare at, yes, a lava lamp. I have a recovery routine that involves bare feet on grass, fingers buried in the dirt of my garden, and a hammock. And my pets piled on top of me. I actually have a toy poodle service dog who is trained to detect my sensory and social overloads in the early stages, which helps tremendously.
Holy moly, I really needed this today. I have recently within the past year or so been having burnout happen more and more often and thought it was just a symptom of "getting older" or feeling unfulfilled in my life that was causing it. I just assumed it was something that everyone experienced and that I just needed to "pull myself up by my bootstraps" so to speak. What you described is EXACTLY how it feels so now knowing that this is why is extremely helpful. I have a job that requires I often deal with customers and while not burned out I can mask well enough, when I am feeling burned out and I force myself to "work through it" I just end up feeling worse while also souring my relation with said customers (many of which are regulars). Knowing that I need to give myself the time to "reboot" and to use that time doing things I know will help facilitate that feels like someone shined a spotlight on the right path while wandering the dark. Thank you for being that spotlight for me.
you are so helpful to me, i thank you so very much! i forgot even superman has a fortress of solitude to go to. and i am not superman....and the drama at my work is eating my soul. it doesnt help that im called in all the time because a lot of my coworkers take party days off, whatever that means. i get very little alone time, and i feel like im being smothered and torn apart at the same time. thank you for listening to me vent.
Thank you so much for this video, it has been extremely helpful. With 5 of us in one household diagnosed ASD you can imagine how tricky it is. This video is helping us all to not only understand ourselves, but to also understand each other 🙏
This is the most important and relevant video with practical advice that is legit! I wish words could convey how much I appreciate this video and how helpful it was for me and my partner. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so much!
Thank you so much for all of these vids. It's finally giving me the language and understanding to describe what has been going on with me for my entire life.
Yes! I have been thinking I seem to be in a weird kind of freeze response right now. I'm coming out of a period of severe stress, and I thought I would start feeling better, but all of a sudden it's difficult to get out of bed or have a short conversation about dinner. I'm lucky my family is supportive. It's hard to ask them not to talk to me as much, but they really want to help me not needing to do anything. Also I enjoy your accent and general friendly way of being.
Hi, I'm new to the channel but so glad I've found it. I was finally diagnosed last year at 35 with ASD1 and it answers so much in my life. I was just treated as being depressed. I also have myasthenia gravis and low testosterone levels so I burnout pretty regularly and it feels so frustrating.
I’m autistic and feel as if no one understands me and it pushed me to think I have some other condition or I was misdiagnosed. Only this month I have heard on autistic burnout and realised this is exactly it. Anyone can say something or a situation I don’t like or mostly when I feel triggered. I shutdown. I have soon realised this is most days of my life and the days where I can talk lots I find it abnormal or I usually tell my friends “I’m on one” as I mostly can’t think of conversation and deal with day to day tasks without feeling disconnected. There is so much more I can say but all I feel is no one understands me. The worst thing anyone can do to me is patronise me as this puts me in meltdown
I hear you on this, I experience it myself it’s driving me to go monk mode and look after myself as best as possible with the current circumstances. It is a challenge, I can understand.
I sometimes actually feel physically ill during this period. During a particularly stressful time at work, I left there one day feeling okay but began to feel more and more nauseous on my commute home. I got home and shut down to the point that I fell into bed and slept for about 14 hours. I woke up in time for my next work shift and felt okay the following day. I guess I just needed a complete shutdown, rest, and reboot of my entire body that day. My brain literally couldn’t handle the basic functions or input required while awake.
My partner was diagnosed in adulthood and experiences burnout quite often. I grew up with a younger sibling that is autistic as well but my understanding of autism was always very narrow, mostly due to my mother and what she taught me about it. Watching this video has helped me understand what my partner experiences and I think it will help me be much more supportive and able to provide a much healthier environment for her. I always try my best to be mindful and maintain awareness as much as possible but without a proper understanding of what it's like it can be a bit difficult to avoid being the cause of her burnout and making it worse instead of better. Thank you so much for making this content. I've hit the subscribe button straight away and I look forward to seeing more of your content 🙂
Oh my word, my burnout can last for days where I remove myself and just sleep. When I emerge it’s like nothing was wrong. I’m happy and chirpy. Orion says it’s like rebooting, wow, that’s a perfect analogy. Thank you.
I think people get confused between meltdowns, shutdowns and burnout. Burnout to me was HUGE and ongoing for the past 4 years. It was a complete breakdown that put me in hospital 3 times now.
I have been dealing with burnout frequently since i can remember. I would think i was getting sick because i felt achey and extremely fatigued with a lot of headaches. I finally figured out it isn't a physical problem and all i can really do is sleep. I spend a lot of time laying in the dark just breathing. It makes functioning feel impossible and i barely can do the minimum. It frustrates me so much!
I came back from an extremely heavy, exhausting, and social intensive emergency family trip (my uncle had passed) and I just couldn't not even just speak, I couldn't *write* to anyone, I couldn't deal with the *thought* of messaging anyone or doing anything that involved any sort of brain power much less communicating in any way. I didn't eat, I just changed, closed off my room to sounds and light, and fell in bed, and watched videos mindlessly, in very low volume and no brightness, barely even taking them in and not even playing games along, or checking anything else on the computer at the same time, like I usually do. I stayed in zombie mode until night time, and I only felt a little bit like myself again the next day. It was one of the most intense of those experiences for me.
I’ve been here so many times.
Yeah, I get it. I've been in such a panic I've listened to long infomercials because I couldn't process how to handle my phone.
Have things improved?
I hope so.
(:
I recently had to go to the ER; my husband stayed with me and was very supportive but I kept suggesting that he go home, rest, eat, etc. because I know that I would be approaching burnout if the situation was reversed.
Yes!
I do this every off day I get from work. I am just learning what everything means and how I'm different. I always just thought I was broken
Figuring out and accepting that I'm autistic is a relatively new thing for me and my family. When I was in my early 20s, I was working retail, going to school, and heavily involved with my church. Then I got hit with a whole bunch of new stressors in my life, lost my job, had to quit school, and got very sick. I went into a deep and prolonged burnout and completely stopped masking. I had to figure out and start expressing my needs, such as breaks from noisy environments, even though I didn't know why I needed it.
Because of all this, I lost all of my friends, but what hurt the most was my aunt saying that she didn't know who I was anymore and stopped inviting me to family functions. I didn't talk to my dad's side of my family for years.
My mom has been my rock through ALL of it. She is my voice when mine doesn't work.
❤
It’s sad that many NTs only accept people if they are performing as expected 😢 I’m glad you’re learning how to manage your needs instead just ignoring it and heading toward burnout again 👏🏽❤️
You are not alone. You have been through so much. Focus on your strength and always be kind to yourself no matter how hard that is.
♥️
@@nmg6248 This is why masking is so prevalent. Especially among girls with more social pressures.. I don't feel like I've ever truly been accepted, even by other autistic ppl sometimes. I have no real friends, and 2 of my favorite ppl in the world recently passed away. I feel myself reaching burnout, but there's nothing I can do because I'm in college, searching for a job, live with 4 family members and feel like I have absolutely no one to turn to about anything, besides my brother, and he's younger than me with limited emotional capacity for other ppls' problems .. no health insurance and can't afford therapy :(
For me it's like when you have a stamina bar in a game and you keep trying to run but not allowing your stamina to regenerate so all you can do is short bursts of speed and all that happens is that you don't get anywhere and just rage quit.
💯
Oh my god yes! And when you feel you can go all in on your special interests and favorite characters, the process starts again. It's horrible
And then no-one around you has the same stamina bar problem, and can't understand.
My son used to tell me "I need time to myself because I am all peopled out" (he was 6 years old)
Highly intelligent and articulate!! Amazing, emotionally mature 6 yo!!
This is how I feel every day
Is that autism? When i come from university, i feel like not talking to anyone. Like i want this time for only me. I get irritated if i dont get time that i am by myself everyday. I hate group studies.
Agreed: "Let's stop shaming autistic people for being autistic." If I could achieve this for myself, that would be the ultimate success.
This could explain why i had really bad attendance at school. Everyday was an uphill battle with my social anxiety but at this point, i rarely feel anything. My special interests still make me happy, but i always feel like there's something missing when i engage with those activities. Like a part of me died a long time ago, and i never noticed.
I can relate to this, especially recently. I feel like it still brings me joy to play music, but I was so much more into it in high school/early college years. Like what changed and how can I get it back to how it was. For reference, I couldn’t stay in a classroom in high school because of my anxiety/panic attacks
Social gatherings are the biggest triggers for me. I feel mentally and physically drained and just go mute.
Same here.
I feel the urgent need to leave and get away from certain situations, even when stuck on a bus!
I cant do social gatherings, either. I got forced into it with my husbands huge family, when he was alive. I can do one on one social talking. No one ever contacted me again after my husband died, except one time. Fourteen years ago since. Thank you so much for this Orion. I couldnt figure out what has been going on with me not wanting to do anything lately. Even cooking and sewing which i enjoy. Autistic Burnout. It has a name!
I'm like this
Ive been diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome 16 years ago, been trying to find a medical for my trouble, and finding nothing... Thanks to these videos, I'm only now learning that it's actually autism.
Thanks Orion.
That's SO helpful!!!!😀👍 I think it's my Eureka moment!
Seriously though!! I was diagnosed several years ago with CFS and I was determined to continue searching for why. While they have found a lot wrong with me, it’s all been fixed now and my symptoms aren’t better. I’m pretty positive I’m on the spectrum, as my son is and things I thought were totally normal were actually autistic traits. I just want my life back, I can’t do this anymore.
Great insight! I have cfs and Fibromyalgia, I have been wondering for some time if that's related to my autism. My flares seem to line up with the burnout he's describing.
Yes me to 26 years CFS now fybromyalgia for which I think is ling term burnout much pain ?
I suppose you have heds to the trifecta
I decided to not mask anymore when I turned 26 the February 20th. It's been a bumpy ride since then. People say that I've changed. And they look scared when I explain what masking is. People believe that I'm drunk/on drugs, depressed or have gone completely insane. They have asked me upfront. I feel happier and don't crash just as often. Only masking when I really have to. Like a business meeting or if I'm talking to a client.
Hi Orion, I got my diagnosis yesturday at nearly 59 years old. I'm exhausted. thankyou for all you do.
Welcome to the late diagnosed in second 1/2 of life club!
The worst part about being burned out is when I finally try to self advocate and share what would help me destress, people get mad at me like I’m a burden.
Or like I just can’t handle life well.
As someone with autism I often experience burnout like you. I thought this was something related to depression as I'm also diagnosed with anxiety and depression. My parents also think the same. I didn't know there was such thing as autistic burnout. I just thought it was my depression making me feel too burnt out to be able to cope with stuff. You have explained it perfectly. For me it's like my brain has crashed like a computer and needs time to reboot.
"you treat your computer better then an autistic person" that hit home very hard, currently fighting to start on my diagnosis and as i suspected am in a burnout right now for a good while, i never understood why i was so tired or just did not feel the energy to simply take a quick shower. thank you, your video has explained so much on why i am feeling the way i am feeling, and hopefully work my way out of this sooner then later.
I've been told "You're just depressed." Ugh. Yes, but it's not just depression. I can't verbalize what I'm going through (communication issues).
If I had only not listened to the psychiatrists and done my own research….
At least they recognized depression. Will usually say “everyone depressed”. Funny how they move down the line.
Also even the professionals. Used to say I couldn’t focus in college days I was doing an apprenticeship program. Doc laughed and said I knew that question was coming.
So I stopped giving them my insurance money. Fast forward I went in because I felt I was autistic and having burnouts and difficulty with eye contact. This isn’t new. I just thought it was all anxiety/ depression symptoms. Doc doesn’t think it’s Asperger’s. I’m positive it’s Asperger’s too.
But they handed me adderall like candy. If you want adderall just tell them you’re autistic lol. As for me I truly am struggling and I hate going back to those
Places. You can take my spot.
OMG, I needed to learn this so much!!
I've literally been married to my guy for 7+ yrs & am just realizing he's autistic!!
It doesn't change the fact that I think he's great & sexy. Now I understand better how to function together.
This will increase the chances of us having a long, happy marriage
Great explanation. I don't care anymore of what neurotipical people think about me. Now I can understand more about the signs of my body.
I have been recently diagnosed as having high-functioning autisim and I can't begin to explain how that has helped me understand myself better. I read about burnout sometimes because I constantly felt like I was burned out but no matter how much time I took from things I would start having it again... Now everything is starting to make sense!
Thank you for informing us 💛
You’re not high functioning; it’s rude that anyone told you that you are because that’s for them not US, for us we are either autistic or not; we may or may not have this challenge or that challenge with what difference things we experience personally as autistic people. I’m sure many a times you DONT feel high functioning?? And then I know a 6 year old level 3 autistic boy who can use the toilet, eat and basically do everything but he can’t talk fully yet and can’t always understand language but he understands by showing him etc. the typical people would label him low functioning but he is not either high or low and a whole person , he just has different experiences from another autistic and has good and bad days. The autistic community at large are throwing functioning levels/labels in the trash.. we are all equally autistic 👌😁🙌💜
@@beckacheckaenterprises7294 you're so right 💛💛 I've stopped using "functioning" categories and instead saying I'm a type 1!
Hi. How or what made you get diagnosed? Ty.
Hi, can i ask where you are from. Because your name is Turkish that means iron.
taking time away can help recover from burn out, but ultimately going back to the way things were before the break will rapidly burn you out again. Literal heat is a good analogy, if you put something in the oven it will heat up and eventually burn. If you remove it, it cools down, and if you put it back in the oven.... you gotta change the temperature, maybe put it somewhere else instead, adjust SOMETHING to help prevent the burnout occurring in the first place.
Thank you so much for this. Currently in a burnout that has lasted for more than a year. I genuinely expected this video to have hundreds of thousands of views because it’s by far the most helpful i’ve found on here so far. This will help me explain so much to the people in my life. Thank you for the amazing content.
I’m so grateful to hear that Nina. I’ve got another video on the topic coming out soon. Please be kind and patient with yourself.
Thanks for sharing, me too, YEARS.
@@emilyeah I grew up in a household with many children close in age, not enough space and an emotionally unregulated parent that always yelled. Straight from that into the instability of working class young adulthood. Only having finally carved out a small degree of stability and calm in middle age I find myself realizing, I think I've been in a state of continuous burnout most of my life!
First time I have ever heard anyone explain perfectly what I have gone through on a regular basis for my whole life. Thank you.
As an American i cannot afford professional diagnosis, im fairly certain im on the spectrum. I look at it like a battery(for peopling). Peopling is any human interaction to me. The bigger the crowd the faster it gets drained. I cannot thank you enough for everything you do! Definitely given me more ways to cope. You are awesome.
If you can, try talking to a community clinic. Ask them to refer you to a counselor for mental health. Most community clinics, if they charge a sliding fee, they will wave it, or bill you later, but they will not stop seeing you if you are unable to pay it.
Took me a long time to figure that out. Feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions.
Hey I’m like that exact same way it’s super rough
Always thought of it as a battery too lol
I call it peopling as well.
What does being American have to do with it? Autism is autism. If you recognize the traits; it's real to you. Despite you being American 😊
I say this as a Dutch person so what do I know, right?😅
I am just coming out of a burnout and it made me realise that I need to find a new job. The job I currently have just doesn't work well with my mental health. I feel like I am having to fight to be heard, and I am exhausted.
I have AUTISM. I’m in burn out and I can’t keep up with all the Dr. Appt.s. I can’t remember anything. I just keep telling myself I’m not alone.
Hey Orion, aspi woman in my late 40s here . Diagnosed when my daughter was . I have autistic burn out often, I'm just coming out of a bout of it now , it can last for a week or so normally, can't talk , listen to people's problems, can't deal with narcissists or anyone really. Major my malinois and Torvi my whippet are so good when it happens, Major is good at telling me I'm about to burn out , he senses it and suddenly won't leave my side and his eyes are full of concern and support. I love being alone , just me and the animals, they don't judge , make you feel bad if you don't have a shower , change your clothes or eat , they just patiently support you through it , unlike humans they aren't closed off , selfish, narcissistic, they are empathetic and live I the moment and love unconditionally. They have got me through my entire life from horses , to my snake when he was alive , doesn't seem to matter what species it is , they are way more in tune and on point than humans. Thank you 😊
I have spent years experiencing this but labeling it Major Depressive Disorder because I was completely unaware of the presence of Autism. This led me to not understand the origin "why" things seemed so difficult in the first place. That leads to constant disappointment in yourself and from people around me.
This has been the case with me, diagnosed with Major Depressive disorder, General anxiety and very stimulated meanwhile this is making so much sense mixed with basic needs not being met, lack of purpose amongst the world demands. It goes deep 😅.
You just reminded me of all the times i was at my least functional, when my family ramped up the demands.
I'm pretty sure I'm experiencing an extended period of autistic burnout. I'm 36 and was diagnosed a week ago. I'm finding videos like this so helpful in better understanding myself. plus, I really find listening to fellow Aussies so much easier!
I am currently in a horrible burnout. I was already going down badly but then I caught Covid in early Jan. and I'm not recovering very fast at all. I also suffer from adrenal fatigue but when my life is in balance, I don't feel the Aspergers or the adrenal fatigue. Last year pushed me to the limit. One good or negative crisis stacked on top of the other and I was required to juggle many details and tasks all day long. By May, I knew I was in bad shape but I had to keep going and pushing until my son's wedding in mid-December. Once the New Year came, things calmed down but that's when the Covid hit. The weakness I have experienced is downright frightening. It feels that if I would just let go, I would die. It's very bad. My husband keeps telling me to "hang on" as he also has Aspergers and so does my son. We understand each other but honestly, not one thing helps when you get this bad. Resting feels horrible because you can feel how weak you are and moving feels horrible because it keeps reminding you of how weak you are. I have been through this about 5 or 6 times in my lifetime and every time it happens, it takes me many months to get to where I can function more normally. It complicates it that I need to work at my family business but I can't, which means no income and my customers breathing down my neck. I am an educator and performer and a church worship leader. I can't do any of it right now and I can see by the small efforts I make to try to function, it only sends me back to square one right now. For the brain, the best thing that I have found to help is to take periods of the day and just be in silence. If I am strong enough to get there, I go out into my garden and just sit and listen and look. I can't handle any information at these times and making decisions is impossible. What I'm saying is that the burnout is not only mental but very physical for me. It's truly, truly horrible - scary. It feels like its never going to end. The depression of not being able to do anything or think through anything creates a darkness that feels like it consumes me. I can't relate to people at all. I just have to let the crash happen and it is only my faith in God that helps me survive these times. You are very right in saying the path to burnout is not taking care of ourselves and doing the things we need to do to self regulate. I had no time this past year to do that. Everyone needed me and I had so many things I wanted to accomplish for my son's wedding and most of them did not happen because of the pile on of duties. It broke my heart that I wasn't able to get them all done and it did, in fact, make his wedding much less than it should have been. I had to let it all go and just accept the situation. The difficult part is, just like you said, you can't even do the simple things you love to do that would help your brain to heal. For me that would be sewing, crochet, or gardening. I am soo weak right now and from what I am experiencing with the efforts I make, it's going to be months maybe before I can do those things again. It is a very scary place to be. I'm writing this to help others who might only be experiencing this for the first time who don't realize just how bad it can be. The best advice is to find ways to take the times out you need before it goes over the edge. I so badly wish I could have done that. As I'm getting older, I have no doubt that one of these times I won't make it through. This has made me realize that I'm going to have to make some big decisions about my life that are going to be difficult. Big changes coming. I'm sorry this is so long. Thank you for this video. I meant to add that last year, after many years of weeding out toxic people from my life, I had to embrace someone who came into my life who is very toxic. I knew mostly it would be a for a time but it had to be done for personal reasons. I have no doubt that dealing with this person and all the havoc they created was the tipping point for me. I HIGHLY recommend to any person on the spectrum to do your best to weed out the toxic people and situations out of your life. It could be detrimental to an upcoming burnout you really don't want to have.
You have explained this better than almost anyone else. My NT wife and I were watching Orion's video here and I started explaining, or trying to explain, to her how bad my burnout got when it got profoundly bad, how it was a powerful, painful physical feeling of being a hair's breadth from death and that the slightest mental surrender could send you there. It is indeed scary and I started sending goodbye notes to loved ones. And, yes, peculiarly rest didn't even help much. I think it could potentially be a stage beyond burnout. Someone else mentioned the vibrating sensation, clinically known as internal tremors, and those could get horrendous and painful. I went through all this without knowing any term to apply to it.
Thank you for posting this! I hope your circumstances have improved 🙏🏽❤️
I never attributed my times of deep, deep lows to autistic burnout, but after reading so many peoples experiences and watching this video I see now that of course that’s what was happening 😮
I would suggest a couple things that I learned this year after a head injury prevented me from being able to do ANY of my usual activities especially the ones caring for others, and just focus on caring for myself… everyone else might miss the things you used to do for them, and their lives may be less rich because of it, BUT they can and will adapt. Especially since they have to anyway when you are recovering from burnout. And the health and peace you find for yourself will improve your quality of life so much!
This is something I’ve noticed, especially in women, and it goes for NTs and NDs alike: working ourselves to collapse. Then and only then do we feel we can take a rest. Sadly that rest often comes after a catastrophic illness has manifested like a heart attack, stroke, Parkinson’s, even dementia. Taking care of yourself now helps ward off stress related illness and dysfunction later that may become chronic or even deadly. So many reasons to care for and take time for ourselves ❤
Thank you for sharing, it really encouraged me and I hope things got better. ❤
Do you have chronic muscle pains as a symptom
After struggling through 3 major burnouts I finally received the diagnosis of autism earlier this year. This video is one of the most helpful and eye-opening ones I've seen so far. Thank you so much.
This was so incredibly helpful. I am late diagnosed AuDHD(2020), ended up in a mental hospital for depression in 2021, and have been chronically fatigued for about 3 years now. I was diagnosed with ME/CFS, but it never sat right with me. I lost all ability to mask (which led to the diagnosis at age 52) and now have almost daily lie downs in a darkened room where I have to be physically horizontal. I am 100% sure I have been in daily autistic burnout for three years (and the circumstances surrounding this length of time have included trauma, ill health, house moves, house renovations, etc, like a freaking tsunami, where I have not been able to catch a break). Being able to have the anatomy of it laid out in such a succinct way has helped me understand. Also, I have a lot of internalised ableism and will often shame myself (thank you RSD and cPTSD), so I am going to spend some time working on that too.
Do you have pain with this ime sure we have neurosthenia as it used to be called now I no have Asperger's add OCD hsd
@@Truerealism747I experience headaches and body aches.
My brother told me he was autistic when he was in his 40s. I thought his behavior was normal. He was a drummer, and was good at socializing, but rarely did because he was drumming. He was also a total workaholic, like my dad. But he was quiet a lot. Fortunately my family was very accepting of our all 3 of we children's behaviors. I was very quiet and introverted, and read most of the time. My sister was gregarious. I have had 7 or 8 close friends in my life, but since we moved every year or so, none of them were for very long.
I accepted being lonely early in my childhood. I'm almost 70.
So fkin well put. The shame of being 'rude' when shutting down(particular loved ones) and the complicated projected motivations that are received from those around when the brain has absolutely no motivation other than "escape" is the toughest point for me. Brace, head down, absorb and get through. It's here that the normal translation really breaks down and people end up hurt and perceived debt increases
Thanks! Very helpful.
I'm going to add that I'm 53 and have only recently discovered something I've often suspected - that I am indeed on the spectrum. I've experienced two of these burnouts in recent memory and they're pretty much spot on to what you've described here. Walking around like a zombie for a week because nothing 'does it' for you, and the things you hold dear become meaningless ... it's not something I'd ever wish on anyone. When it happens, I am powerless to stop it. I often take on too much for myself and if I go for weeks without any decompression time, this results. I've learned to moderate my 'load', so to speak ... to prevent this from happening as much as I can. One of my special interests is working on cars & in one of my burnouts, I was forced into having to do this to my own car due to a failure it experienced and this interaction brought me back out of the 'experience'. I noted that halfway through the repair, I was starting to have fun again. Thank you for posting this.
I'm 53, getting tested Thursday, but in my heart I'm pretty certain where I am.
Thank you for sharing.
Yes! Total shutdown. It's like shutting down a laptop and then not charging it because you can't be bothered. So oversaturated and overstimulated that the person needs to stop everything. My recent experience anyway.
Thank you so much for this video. I'm definitely burnt out, and currently saving an f you fund so I can take a proper period of time out to reboot.
I'm so sick of working so hard to meet neurotypicals in a way they understand, only to slip up once and be completely and utterly berated. I'm in physical pain from masking day in day out on top of burnout (tensed muscles etc. I'm not exaggerating or being metaphorical. Everything hurts from having to be someone else)
Heck yes! Thank you so much for explaining this. I've always explained it to myself in terms of, 'I'm too tired to pretend to be normal today', but have avoided explaining it like that to other people in case they think I'm nuts :) Watching this has made me realise that this is, essentially, what's happening - and that for many people it is 'normal' and justified to feel like this. I've been through a lot of changes lately: new job, new house, new part of the country, developed a new medical condition which stops me from doing some of what I used to, gained weight due to said condition... I feel like I'm always either in or bordering on burnout as I haven't had time to adapt to the changes, and am worried that acting 'weird' at work will cost me my job. Sadly I can't go into my 'fortress of solitude' as I'm expected at the office, but I'm going to try to do the other stuff you have advised, like trying to get back into my hobbies and cutting out unnecessary activities. Going to keep an eye on your channel for any other tips. Thanks again :)
Thank you! I"ve been in burnout since 2019 and cannot seem to work myself out of it. Work, family, everything is just too exhausting.
Hey Orion, you are one of my top three go to guys in the autism community. I was in a deep burnout when I first found your channel and through your wisdom came to know that if I am 70 and find commonality with autistic people, I am probably autistic, so I wasted no time with diagnosis. Thank you❤️
I’ve had several bad burnouts when I was younger for a few months at a time- but definitely agree with you about the older you get , the worse it gets . The trouble is , I can’t really have a burnout / recovery anymore, as I have two children who are also Autistic and for whom I’m completely responsible for and there’s no one else . They simply can’t function without help and we have none. I’ve developed an autoimmune disease because of this and I’m so exhausted. Not sure how to get better from this as I have to keep going , there’s no help and no choice .
I was gonna comment something about a housekeeper, nanny or social worker, but I don't know your resources in your area.
So I'll say this; reach out to other people around you. Do you have neighbours, friends? Could you ask them to babysit for you sometimes? Relatives' or coworkers' adult kids, students? Someone who would do it for pocket money or a small favour in return when an opportunity arises in the future?
I'm a scout leader in my twenties, I would watch your kids for a few hours occasionally as a good deed or form of friendship. But people never ask that. So there are probably people around me that are struggling and I don't know.
Do your kids have friends? That would be another option to arrange your own time.
Thank you for putting words on my condition, I am in an autistic brun out for a while now... I was panicking because I couldn't mask anymore put I thought I was just going stupid. i lost my skills at paintings, at doing photography which I love but I do not have any motivation to do my passions and it's really hard to accept. I am so relieved to know what is happening to me, thank you!
I think autistic burnout has been useful to me at least to learn what it means to know myself as I masked my whole life until I was forced by lack of energy to just be honestly myself. I’ve learned who I really am through such burnouts.
I’ve been experiencing autistic burnout for a few years now because I had no idea except that everything was stressful and overwhelming and I was tired all the time and I would forget things and seem to not be able to think clearly. I wanted to believe I was “normal” and just living too stressful of a life. Well part of that is true, I was under too much stress. Lots of things are making more sense and I’m starting to be kinder to myself and actively work on not masking. After spending most of my 35 years of life masking, it’s been hard to let go of those masks. It was actually therapy for social anxiety that helped me realize I was autistic. My therapist gave me exercises that were to help heal my inner child and kept saying “you may or may not find out why you have this anxiety and either is ok we aren’t going to push it.” Sure enough I figured it out. I’m slowly remembering what I used to do as a kid and a teenager before I started this full time masking I’ve been doing. I’m starting to find that I just suppressed my need to stim, follow my interests, take breaks by myself, etc. I’m slowly getting myself back and it’s been very freeing.
Apologies beforehand. This world has sapped every ounce of me 😮 (not nature and wildlife). I do what I can with what I have but I don’t know anymore. Everything you cover in your brilliant, well informed content is relatable and experience most of it, it is so overwhelming to integrate everything from care, development, acquiring skills and keeping up with modern living , being unemployed doesn’t help. The worst part is the daily ignorance, being shunned,misunderstood and gaslit constantly. Then they go on with be positive, you making this up and are excuses,don’t be a victim and go live like everyone else. Sorry for the rant. Thanks Orion and to all of us here, I Love You.
I haven’t been diagnosed with autism or adhd, but your, and others’ videos have made my entire life make more sense. I’ve had this happen at multiple jobs, and I try to put in my notice, but my boss refuses to accept it, and I get talked out of it. Then when nothing changed, I just walked out, and refused to talk to anyone. My current experience has lasted about 2.5 years, and doctors/therapists just treat me for depression, anxiety, general autoimmune issues and neuropathy, but I know that’s not all that is going on. But when I bring it up to them, it seems to get ignored, so I don’t know what to do. It seems as I get older it’s taking me longer and longer to recover and more difficult to mask for long periods of time.
thanks man, gonna send this video to my mum now. school’s really been getting to me and there’s no way i can explain. i just need a day off so this is a great help
I didn't realize this was an autistic trait.. I get these every week, and I end up doing nothing else than watching something. And self-care goes out the window, very often. I want as little stress as possible, and other people stressing over things I don't stress over, makes me stress over them, it's horrible. I recently started baking again, I've made cupcakes 3 times in the last week, but I have no one to give them too, and I can't eat them all, haha. And also I like cooking food, I just do as I feel like, and it's always great! It's really hard to start activities, yes. I also realized I work better, with company, about things I don't really want to do.. so getting them planed with other people, is good. They don't have to help me, just be there, it's easier :) Thanks for this information ^_^ btw, if you want to, you can view videos on x2 the speed - I understand why you speak clear and "slower"? But I like to get through it faster, I think you're very good at explaning things :)
For me, it is the absence of relevance or common sense. This year, I have fallen into a state of utter exhaustion, with loss of speech, loss of memory, loss of balance and issues with reading, It turned out it was autistic burnout. I am a woman in her early forties, and after being a pretty high flyer, I had come to the end of the trail of relevance. I usually mask and push myself quite a lot. It’s been months, and I still haven’t fully recovered, and I don’t think I ever will fully, especially reading or anything that I am not convince has any kind of relevance in the modern human society’s daily activities.
I already had stopped talking after a big family reveal when in my early twenties. It lasted months. Now I know it was autistic burnout.
Thank you so much for your video - currently working through a day of being non-verbal and completely frozen - but this and the comments gave me just enough of a boost to make tea, light candles and incense, and listen to crickets. Thank you all, and sending a lil boost to you ♥️🐛
Recovering from my burn out right now. And crying lol. Rough rough week. Thank you for the video
I am currently in the middle of a burnout, having lost passion for everything that used to bring me joy. I was forced into retirement by a company that prefers to outsource to another country. I felt sorrowful at this loss. Now I sleep literally half the day away. My sleep schedule is definitely never on a 24 hour cycle, either. I need to find another job so I can afford to keep my home, but I feel frozen to do so. Freaking out bad!!! 😭
At some point you get to have fewer outside demands.
This doesn't mean the demands go away completely, just that there are fewer inputs
This was a wow moment. I have these daily at the moment. And had one that lasted 16 days. And YES!!! It feels EXACTLY like a brain reset. Cause every time it ends, I feel like I’m being given another chance. It’s so hard sometimes, but I’ve found the more I learn, the more it makes sense and I wonder less and less about what I’m going through. Thank you Orion 🙏
"driving truck" 😂😂 You made me miss smallville! Great video, didn't know about autistic burnout. Also didn't know how impactful shaming was for people that are autistic. I have a bunch of trauma from being shamed and maybe this is part of it.
I find there is a lot of self regulating I need to do to stay away from autistic burnout, and a lot of it includes things like reminders on my phone, to do lists, journaling, exercise, mindfulness, limiting caffeine and sugars that may lead to energy crashes, and just staying aware of my energy levels. I've learned to avoid multitasking as much as possible and give my brain as few things to work through at once as I can. As soon as I have to start juggling things I find the stress levels increase and its not long before I am completely drained.
I find the older I get, the more frequent the burnouts happen and the longer it takes to bounce back from an episode. I feel as though I peaked in my 40's for my tolerance of social situations etc and now that I'm in my 50's, that resiliency is failing.
This video has put into words how I often feel as a high masking, undiagnosed adult. Sometimes after a week of constant colleague and client contact, I just want to relax without human interaction, but never really understood why. Thank you so much
I’ve been going to different doctors for years trying to figure out why I’m always so exhausted. Last year I was diagnosed as autistic (after being treated for depression/anxiety/ADHD since age 13). I’m still exhausted, but I have fewer doctors appointments trying to figure why, so I have fewer demands to engage with the medical community, which is good. Those interactions are some of the most dreaded in my life, from insurance, to filling out forms, to trying to explain things, to trying a whole lot of useless things that ultimately made me feel even more exhausted.
This is a really pertinent video to show 'your other half' and I love the way you've simplified through illustrating through really understandable analogies.
Thank you Orion for another fantastic video.
Greetings form Scotland 🏴
I'm going to recommend your channel because you know exactly what you're talking about. I have two autistic adult sons and I suspect that my daughter is also autistic. I also suspect that I am a 56-year-old undiagnosed autistic. You have just described my life and daily experience:)
ABSOLUTELY 100% CORRECT. THANK YOU FOR YOUR EXPLANATION.....YOU ARE HELPING SO MANY TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY CANNOT EXPLAIN TO OTHERS. IT HAS BEEN 5 YEARS SINCE I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO BE ALONE.THEY THINK WHY DON'T THEY DO WHAT IS EXPECTED....SHAMING.....MAKES SOMEONE DO THE OPOSITE....TRYING TO CONTROL THEIR OWN WORLD. I UNDERSTAND NOW.....THANK YOU SO MUCH🌹
Thank you Orion, I learned some things about myself.
Burnout is a roller coaster ride for me on a daily basis.
This is the video I've been looking for. I really relate this the things he's saying. I just moved to another country and am going to a new high school. It's really hard making friends and I get these Autistic Burnouts a lot. I sometimes feel like I can't breath or think straight. Even trying to off myself on some of the worst days ever. Thank you for making this video. It's really means a lot to me.
The part about making neurotypical people feel comfortable. 🎉
WOW. You have just described me, exactly how I am. You described exactly what I keep telling people I need but can't get.
Now though, I have a video I can share with explains what I could not explain myself.
Thank you!
I have a close friend, whom I love deeply and who learned of his Autism very late in life. I really value this video as Ive only recently discovered your channel (& bought your phenomenal book). He has had 'shutting down periods' before which I now understand to be Autism burnout. Very recently he has alerted me that its time again to 'close the door'. Im incredibly sorry and sad that I just didn't see it coming this time tbh and it feels like we've both derailed. But i thank you sincerely for your insights, advice and encouragement to just give the space and time needed to reboot. Its made me think about ways to refresh our understanding of each other's capacities and the subtleties of how we communicate together. Superman is a tough gig... but it seriously gave me a really helpful mental anchor for this down time. Thank you. I really appreciate it/you.
BTW...THERE IS NO SHAME ♡
Thanks so much for your support.
Thank you for these videos. 40 years of this and I've never gotten an explanation of why.
After 6 burnouts I got diagnosed with autism. I understand it all a lot better now. When I'm really exhausted I just respond with an emoji in a conversation to let someone know I have read what they posted.
Thanks for all these honest comments
First major burnout in a while. This video was very helpful. I just hope the ones I shared it with take the time to learn. It's not my fault. I'm trying but it's hard
I took the first step yesterday to having an assessment by a triage of private doctors who are experts in autism. It’s costing most of our savings, but at least it will be official and I can explain to people. Thanks for this wonderful upload. 🥰
I’m 62 and only diagnosed two years ago, and I’m soooooo grateful for all the info you post on these things! How I wish my brain came with an instruction manual! My retreats usually involve all my pets lying on top of me in a dark room while I listen to my very repetitive emergency music playlist and stare at, yes, a lava lamp. I have a recovery routine that involves bare feet on grass, fingers buried in the dirt of my garden, and a hammock. And my pets piled on top of me. I actually have a toy poodle service dog who is trained to detect my sensory and social overloads in the early stages, which helps tremendously.
Thank you so much for making this video. I was wondering what was going on with me, and this is it. You explained it perfectly.
Holy moly, I really needed this today. I have recently within the past year or so been having burnout happen more and more often and thought it was just a symptom of "getting older" or feeling unfulfilled in my life that was causing it. I just assumed it was something that everyone experienced and that I just needed to "pull myself up by my bootstraps" so to speak. What you described is EXACTLY how it feels so now knowing that this is why is extremely helpful. I have a job that requires I often deal with customers and while not burned out I can mask well enough, when I am feeling burned out and I force myself to "work through it" I just end up feeling worse while also souring my relation with said customers (many of which are regulars). Knowing that I need to give myself the time to "reboot" and to use that time doing things I know will help facilitate that feels like someone shined a spotlight on the right path while wandering the dark. Thank you for being that spotlight for me.
you are so helpful to me, i thank you so very much! i forgot even superman has a fortress of solitude to go to. and i am not superman....and the drama at my work is eating my soul. it doesnt help that im called in all the time because a lot of my coworkers take party days off, whatever that means. i get very little alone time, and i feel like im being smothered and torn apart at the same time. thank you for listening to me vent.
Thank you so much for this video, it has been extremely helpful. With 5 of us in one household diagnosed ASD you can imagine how tricky it is. This video is helping us all to not only understand ourselves, but to also understand each other 🙏
I think I’ve been going through burn out everyday for years. Idk what it would even feel like to live happily or without anxiety.
This is spot on!!!!!! 😭 🙏 ❤ Recently diagnosed at 30 years old, so grateful for your channel!!
I’m so grateful you found me too!
Excellent
Thank You SO much for that video!!!
This is the most important and relevant video with practical advice that is legit! I wish words could convey how much I appreciate this video and how helpful it was for me and my partner. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so much!
LOVE this video- definitely going to share with family/friends!
I think I've just had a breakthrough. Thank you!
Thank you so much for all of these vids. It's finally giving me the language and understanding to describe what has been going on with me for my entire life.
Yes! I have been thinking I seem to be in a weird kind of freeze response right now.
I'm coming out of a period of severe stress, and I thought I would start feeling better, but all of a sudden it's difficult to get out of bed or have a short conversation about dinner.
I'm lucky my family is supportive. It's hard to ask them not to talk to me as much, but they really want to help me not needing to do anything.
Also I enjoy your accent and general friendly way of being.
Hi, I'm new to the channel but so glad I've found it. I was finally diagnosed last year at 35 with ASD1 and it answers so much in my life. I was just treated as being depressed. I also have myasthenia gravis and low testosterone levels so I burnout pretty regularly and it feels so frustrating.
What you said about executive function...I SO get this!! Thanks so much for making this video. You explain all of this so well 😃
Thank you for doing this video, Orion! It’s much appreciated!
I’m autistic and feel as if no one understands me and it pushed me to think I have some other condition or I was misdiagnosed. Only this month I have heard on autistic burnout and realised this is exactly it. Anyone can say something or a situation I don’t like or mostly when I feel triggered. I shutdown. I have soon realised this is most days of my life and the days where I can talk lots I find it abnormal or I usually tell my friends “I’m on one” as I mostly can’t think of conversation and deal with day to day tasks without feeling disconnected. There is so much more I can say but all I feel is no one understands me. The worst thing anyone can do to me is patronise me as this puts me in meltdown
I hear you on this, I experience it myself it’s driving me to go monk mode and look after myself as best as possible with the current circumstances. It is a challenge, I can understand.
I sometimes actually feel physically ill during this period. During a particularly stressful time at work, I left there one day feeling okay but began to feel more and more nauseous on my commute home. I got home and shut down to the point that I fell into bed and slept for about 14 hours. I woke up in time for my next work shift and felt okay the following day. I guess I just needed a complete shutdown, rest, and reboot of my entire body that day. My brain literally couldn’t handle the basic functions or input required while awake.
Thank you for this video. In fact, thank you for all of them!
Yep loads of these points are extremely valid for the car crash that has been my existence.🎉
Thanks!
Wow, I've never heard anyone talk about this so succinctly! This was very helpful. Thank you! This is exactly what I needed!
My partner was diagnosed in adulthood and experiences burnout quite often. I grew up with a younger sibling that is autistic as well but my understanding of autism was always very narrow, mostly due to my mother and what she taught me about it. Watching this video has helped me understand what my partner experiences and I think it will help me be much more supportive and able to provide a much healthier environment for her. I always try my best to be mindful and maintain awareness as much as possible but without a proper understanding of what it's like it can be a bit difficult to avoid being the cause of her burnout and making it worse instead of better.
Thank you so much for making this content. I've hit the subscribe button straight away and I look forward to seeing more of your content 🙂
Thanks very much for this 💜
Oh my word, my burnout can last for days where I remove myself and just sleep. When I emerge it’s like nothing was wrong. I’m happy and chirpy. Orion says it’s like rebooting, wow, that’s a perfect analogy. Thank you.
Definitely in the midst of burnout currently. This really really helped
I think people get confused between meltdowns, shutdowns and burnout. Burnout to me was HUGE and ongoing for the past 4 years. It was a complete breakdown that put me in hospital 3 times now.
Thank you for this. Just thank you. So many thanks.
I have been dealing with burnout frequently since i can remember. I would think i was getting sick because i felt achey and extremely fatigued with a lot of headaches. I finally figured out it isn't a physical problem and all i can really do is sleep. I spend a lot of time laying in the dark just breathing. It makes functioning feel impossible and i barely can do the minimum. It frustrates me so much!