This whole album got me through the loss of my beloved dad. He was my best friend, partner in silliness, confidant, scientific warrior, skeptic, beautiful soul. Thank you for helping me with this loss, Sufjan Stevens.
My mom was a proud single mom who raised my sister and I all by herself. When the challenges got too much for her, she found relief in beating the shit out of me. I lived in fear all through grade school. It was all the usual instruments. Sometimes a wooden spoon, sometimes a belt, sometimes a broomstick, sometimes a power cord. I remember one time, it was kindling next to the fireplace against my bare bottom. I had to pluck splinters out of the welts in my 9 year old thighs. That one was unique though, one of a kind. For the most part, she stuck to the classics. I was also bullied a lot at school. The worst days, I always knew I could count on her to make me feel better. She would pet my head, assure me that I was loved, and make me the most delicious chocolate chip cookies. Grade school was a confusing time. I never knew if the days were gonna be good or bad. A beautiful sunny day in the garden could turn to terror. A miserable, rainy day could turn to joy. Eventually, I got big enough to stand up for myself. And the next time she swung to hit me, I blocked her hit, struck back with my other hand, and knocked her down. I can still see her crawling confused out of the dirt, her hair flying wildly. A look of rage and fear in her face as I stood over her. The frames of her now-broken glasses awkwardly clinging to her face for dear life. She never hit me after that. But she also stopped caressing me after that. I stopped living in fear of her, but when I came to her with the broken heart of failed teenage love, I was left to figure it out on my own. I graduated, moved away, and lost touch with her. Fell deep into a bong, surfacing only long enough to flail around at punk shows and skate spots. Eventually, we reconnected. Slowly at first, then more and more. She attended my wedding, the birth of my first son. As my children grew older, she volunteered to babysit for them. Her rage would resurface. I had to put my foot down. My wife wasn't tolerating mistreatment of our children. I said to mom, "I can't let you treat them the way you treated me, the way you hurt me." She responded, "What are you talking about? I never abused you." I wanted to scream, to shout, "You threw me across my room when I was 7 years old and split my skull open! I needed 13 stitches! We had a CPS investigation and you threatened me with a belt before the caseworker came over!" Instead, I just shrugged. And made sure not to allow her to be alone around them. Without ever confronting her. You know. Like what a coward would do. Meanwhile, the two of us grew closer and closer. She cheered on my successes in work, boasted about what a great marriage I had, what incredibly imaginative and well mannered kids I had. When I drove home on long commutes, I would call her nearly every day, just to discuss current events. She once asked me why we got along so much better as adults. I jokingly said, "I don't think we were compatible roommates." Her call in September 2021 came out of the blue. She had advanced stomach cancer. She had always been so stubborn about neglecting her healthcare. ("All them doctors are just a buncha pill pushers anyhow"). The cancer had metastasized into her liver and kidneys. She only had a few months to live, and at this point it was just a matter of treating the pain. She was able to attend the wedding of my first born son in October 2021. She stayed a few days after, to watch my two youngest boys go trick or treating. She went home and began discreetly packing and organizing her entire life's belongings into tidy little stacks in different closets. Always organized, never wanting to be a burden. I got the call that she died, on Black Friday. I was packing to go visit her one last time. It felt surreal unpacking the clothes I'd packed for our last visit. 2020 was an absolute mess. None of us deserved the cruelty and depression of that year. I was determined to make sure Christmas 2021 was a success. So I suppressed my grief for my children. We decorated the tree and the house, we drove around almost every night listening to Bing Crosby and Burl Ives croon all the holiday favorites looking at lights. Our Scout Elf was extra creative and Santa Claus was extra generous. And by the time the holidays were behind us, it just felt weird and forced to cave in to the grief. I don't think we're supposed to delay those kinds of feelings. They turn into a mess that just festers away in the bottom of your heart. I'd always heard of Sufjan Stevens but had never really explored his catalogue. I found this song about 2 months ago, and I can't stop listening to it. People tell me that its about a song about a man, estranged from a sub-standard mom, who forgave and reconnected with her, before she died of stomach cancer. Gee, what's that like... I'm obsessed with this song, and its probably not healthy, but it speaks to my very soul. "Did you get enough love, my little dove?" - no, mom, I didn't. I know you struggled with being a single parent. I know you struggled with your own grief, losing your husband so early in your marriage. And you were always so caring, when you needed to be. But my childhood was scary, and sad, and unfair. And I missed him too, god dammit! I should have said more to her. I should have confronted my mom. I should have been braver. Or, maybe forcing her to face the pain she caused, would have been an unfair pain to her. Who knows? Its too late now. There are no great lessons to learn from my confession, other than to keep your hands off of little kids. Mr. Sufjan Stevens, I'm so sorry that we share such a common life path. I pray you've been able to find some kind of meaningful love to accompany it like I have. Thank you so much for the 5 minutes of therapy you've blessed us with.
I'm very happy you found this song. I'm sure the rest of Carrie & Lowell and Sufjan's catalogue would bring great comfort to you. Reading your words about regretting not saying more reminded me so much of another song from this album, "Should Have Known Better." You can find a live version on RUclips from this very show. While his lyrics can be beautifully flowery and poetic, I think his most powerful words are usually the simplest. "I should have known better Nothing can be changed The past is still the past The bridge to nowhere I should have wrote a letter Explaining what I feel, that empty feeling Don’t back down, concentrate on seeing The breakers in the bar, the neighbor’s greeting My brother had a daughter The beauty that she brings, illumination"
Thank you for sharing your story with us, it is very beautifully written. I am so sorry for your pain and so glad you've found some comfort in this song.
@audreywarnez Thanks Audrey. The only thing I write is code. I wrote an instruction manual for fathers once, but couldn't find a publisher. So I post stuff in quiet little corners of the internet. Its a hobby.
As a father of a kid of 1 and a kid of 7 years old your story was gutwrenching to read. So sorry how you were treated as a child. Children are so pure, innocent and full of love/life...
My mother died in front of me naked of a violent drug overdose when I was 16. I am about to turn 24 and I still have not gotten over it, no therapist will help me, I have even been turned away for my baggage. I am still mentally 16. I am stuck there and have been for seven and a half grueling years. I downloaded some songs for a flight to see my girlfriend, and this was one of them. Never listened to his music before. Now, it is helping me process and feel her love more than any therapist could ever help me do. Thank God for music. I've searched so long for a song like this..
Absolutely process with music, dance and song. What can also really help are IFS therapy and somatic experiencing. These are the trauma therapies I've worked with. I'm sorry for your experience. I hope you find the love within yourself that is still there. Big internet hugs my friend.
A friend and I saw it live in Oakland, California a few years ago. The sounds toward the end of the song - the "we're all gonna die" section - was so loud and throbbing, an almost terrifying crescendo- it felt like my chest was going to break. My friend later said it was "the most apocalyptic moment of my life." A few weeks later his own father would die, nearly in his arms. The song is such a compelling and forceful reminder of our own mortality, and is a musical version (to me) of the great book The Denial of Death, by Ernest Becker. Sufjan's Christian faith brings some resolution to this (a faith I share), but this song stands along as both chilling and powerful, IMO. Probably one of the most powerful concert moments of my life.
The ending of this performance hit me so hard. I didn't expect it at all, but the way he turns this sad and melancholic song into a celebration of life is so fascinating. All the lights, it almost feels like a disco, yes, we ARE going to die, but that's the beauty. What would it all mean if it wasn't so short and precious?
Imagine you're not familiar with Sufjan Stevens and your friend takes you to this concert. At the end of that song you're lookin' around the room all paranoid like "hey wtf is he talkin' about bro..."
lost my mom after a long-term hospital stay similar to sufjan and this song has been instrumental in helping me continue to go on. this live version sent me to tears immediately, without a doubt the best performance ive ever seen.
My dad died in August of last year. A year to the day after the last time I saw him and begged him to stop drinking and get healthy, before I moved 2500 miles away. I wasn't there when he collapsed at home. I wasn't there when he was in the hospital. He only lived two days until the withdrawal took him. I hold a lot of resentment for him. The fact that I feel like he chose a vice over his family and only son. Just let it be everyone else's problem. But I also know that addiction is an insidious monster that can warp even the most strong and rational people. And yeah... we could be dead in the next 30 seconds... every day is a gift.
(Sufjan talks, in his imagination, to his mother who just died.) The evil, it spread like a fever ahead. It was night when you died, my firefly. What could I have said to raise you from the dead? Oh, could I be the sky on the Fourth of July? (His imagined and idealized mother responds here. Schizophrenic, manic-depressive and alcoholic, she abandoned Sufjan and his two older brothers, when he was just one year old.) Well, you do enough talk, my little hawk. Why do you cry? Tell me, what did you learn from the Tillamook burn or the Fourth of July? (Sufjan) We're all gonna die. Sitting at the bed with the halo at your head, Was it all a disguise, like Junior High? Where everything was fiction, future, and prediction. Now, where am I, my fading supply? (his imagined mother) Did you get enough love, my little dove? Why do you cry? And I'm sorry I left, but it was for the best, though it never felt right. (Sufjan) My little Versailles. The hospital asked should the body be cast before I say goodbye, my star in the sky. Such a funny thought to wrap you up in a cloth! Do you find it all right, my dragonfly? (his imagined mother) Shall we look at the moon, my little loon? Why do you cry? Make the most of your life, while it is rife, while it is light. Well, you do enough talk, my little hawk. Why do you cry? Tell me, what did you learn from the Tillamook burn or the Fourth of July? (Sufjan) We're all gonna die. (Sufjan invites us to live more consciously, knowing that death is coming.)
Thanks for this. It made me understand the song better and I actually got lost in the lyrics. And the music and sound effects. Gosh, he is so talented!
There's something so comforting about this. Tragic, for sure -- especially for those who've lost loved ones like myself. But there's something almost comforting in the inevitably of death; it is coming, and will happe to all of us. Life is, in many ways, like a weird vacation from our own nonexistence, and sooner or later our vacation ends. Things go back to how they were. And that's sad, but, especially when thinking of the death of a loved one, incredibly comforting to me. Our loved ones are never all that far away from us, in that aspect. Just waiting for us to come back from our own little vacation. I don't know if that sounds silly, but I suppose that's just how my mind works. Beautiful song, and I wish everyone here, especially anyone who's grieving, the best. Take care of yourselves
The only other song that comes close is the split tracks Wings For Marie/10,000 Days by Tool. I've never really heard anything else encapsulate the feeling of watching someone die in a dark hospital/bedroom like this song and those tracks do. Wings For Marie in particular is rough especially when you understand the background of it. His mother had a stroke when she was very young, which left her bound to a wheelchair, and severely disabled for the rest of her life... which was 27.... long... years.... The whole time, despite her lot, she remained strong in her Christian faith and was a beautiful woman that really lived by the goodness that most Christians fake. The others at her church would talk about her behind her back and it left a strong impression on Maynard. He couldn't understand how his mother could remain faithful when, in his eyes, the being she prays to is exactly who robbed her of her life... and how he felt that the church had turned their back on her. But when she was in her final days, he came to terms with it, and that's what those two tracks are about. If you haven't heard them, I'd recommend it. You can tell how protective and loyal he was to his mother...
@@Zeta9966 I thought exactly about that album when I heard this song. So funny someone should mention it here. Glad to see other people can enjoy Sufjan Stevens and Tool at the same time ;-)
I found this song referenced in an online book that quoted the song "did you get enough love my little dove? Why do you cry?" The name of the book is "Landon: my killer lover."
always will forever hold this song in my heart, sometimes i find it too hard to listen to. takes me back to the heartbreak of my first love. “and im sorry i left but it was for the best though it never felt right”.
Sufjan stevens is the rescuer of the music What is the bad if he were more famous His lyrics dive deep into the human nature and can explicitly reveal and describe the complexity of sentiments we had from time to time Keep going sufjan Make us understand more about our spiritual needs
The Fourth of July this year was the hardest. It was exactly 2 months after my favourite cousin died at 23. He would’ve never really listened to this song cuz it was to slow for him ig I get closer to him while listening to it Thank you I’ll always love u Jan ur one of the greatest people in my family My role model I’ll keep the extrem happiness we both got from grandpa For u Every of my smilies I know u want me to laugh
Was listening to a random playlist and this song came up. I ignored it most part of the song thinking it's just like any other slow sad song. Then I heard that "my little Versailles" part and knew right away there was more to this song so I restarted it and I was right 🥹🥹❣️❣️❣️
It's not related any sad story but i used to learn Englis, i love this language so bad but now i switch to Chinese, whenever i listen to this song it's remind me, it's give all of gud memories, all of sorrows i had been through..... Hope i can fluently Chinese in early time to back to my lovely English.
There is a live version of this song I can't find, it was the best. They were dressed in colours and the crowd singed along. Anyone knows what Im talking about?
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
it would take all my might to not break into tears performing this
i even cried just listening to this 😭
I agree. I think it is impossible not to cry
that's why he looks at the backup singers and they raise their voice at certain points
That’s not why he’s doing that at all, but good on you for making that up.
Just picture everyone in the crowd naked. Especially your parents.
One of the most beautiful songs ever written…
Easily.
This whole album got me through the loss of my beloved dad. He was my best friend, partner in silliness, confidant, scientific warrior, skeptic, beautiful soul. Thank you for helping me with this loss, Sufjan Stevens.
I’m so sorry for your loss. He sounds like a beautiful person and just know he will love you until the end of time
Are you okay?
My mom was a proud single mom who raised my sister and I all by herself. When the challenges got too much for her, she found relief in beating the shit out of me. I lived in fear all through grade school. It was all the usual instruments. Sometimes a wooden spoon, sometimes a belt, sometimes a broomstick, sometimes a power cord. I remember one time, it was kindling next to the fireplace against my bare bottom. I had to pluck splinters out of the welts in my 9 year old thighs. That one was unique though, one of a kind. For the most part, she stuck to the classics.
I was also bullied a lot at school. The worst days, I always knew I could count on her to make me feel better. She would pet my head, assure me that I was loved, and make me the most delicious chocolate chip cookies.
Grade school was a confusing time. I never knew if the days were gonna be good or bad. A beautiful sunny day in the garden could turn to terror. A miserable, rainy day could turn to joy.
Eventually, I got big enough to stand up for myself. And the next time she swung to hit me, I blocked her hit, struck back with my other hand, and knocked her down. I can still see her crawling confused out of the dirt, her hair flying wildly. A look of rage and fear in her face as I stood over her. The frames of her now-broken glasses awkwardly clinging to her face for dear life.
She never hit me after that. But she also stopped caressing me after that. I stopped living in fear of her, but when I came to her with the broken heart of failed teenage love, I was left to figure it out on my own.
I graduated, moved away, and lost touch with her. Fell deep into a bong, surfacing only long enough to flail around at punk shows and skate spots.
Eventually, we reconnected. Slowly at first, then more and more. She attended my wedding, the birth of my first son.
As my children grew older, she volunteered to babysit for them. Her rage would resurface. I had to put my foot down. My wife wasn't tolerating mistreatment of our children.
I said to mom, "I can't let you treat them the way you treated me, the way you hurt me."
She responded, "What are you talking about? I never abused you."
I wanted to scream, to shout, "You threw me across my room when I was 7 years old and split my skull open! I needed 13 stitches! We had a CPS investigation and you threatened me with a belt before the caseworker came over!"
Instead, I just shrugged. And made sure not to allow her to be alone around them. Without ever confronting her.
You know. Like what a coward would do.
Meanwhile, the two of us grew closer and closer. She cheered on my successes in work, boasted about what a great marriage I had, what incredibly imaginative and well mannered kids I had. When I drove home on long commutes, I would call her nearly every day, just to discuss current events.
She once asked me why we got along so much better as adults. I jokingly said, "I don't think we were compatible roommates."
Her call in September 2021 came out of the blue. She had advanced stomach cancer. She had always been so stubborn about neglecting her healthcare. ("All them doctors are just a buncha pill pushers anyhow"). The cancer had metastasized into her liver and kidneys. She only had a few months to live, and at this point it was just a matter of treating the pain.
She was able to attend the wedding of my first born son in October 2021. She stayed a few days after, to watch my two youngest boys go trick or treating.
She went home and began discreetly packing and organizing her entire life's belongings into tidy little stacks in different closets. Always organized, never wanting to be a burden.
I got the call that she died, on Black Friday. I was packing to go visit her one last time. It felt surreal unpacking the clothes I'd packed for our last visit.
2020 was an absolute mess. None of us deserved the cruelty and depression of that year. I was determined to make sure Christmas 2021 was a success. So I suppressed my grief for my children. We decorated the tree and the house, we drove around almost every night listening to Bing Crosby and Burl Ives croon all the holiday favorites looking at lights. Our Scout Elf was extra creative and Santa Claus was extra generous.
And by the time the holidays were behind us, it just felt weird and forced to cave in to the grief. I don't think we're supposed to delay those kinds of feelings. They turn into a mess that just festers away in the bottom of your heart.
I'd always heard of Sufjan Stevens but had never really explored his catalogue. I found this song about 2 months ago, and I can't stop listening to it. People tell me that its about a song about a man, estranged from a sub-standard mom, who forgave and reconnected with her, before she died of stomach cancer.
Gee, what's that like...
I'm obsessed with this song, and its probably not healthy, but it speaks to my very soul.
"Did you get enough love, my little dove?" - no, mom, I didn't. I know you struggled with being a single parent. I know you struggled with your own grief, losing your husband so early in your marriage. And you were always so caring, when you needed to be.
But my childhood was scary, and sad, and unfair. And I missed him too, god dammit!
I should have said more to her. I should have confronted my mom. I should have been braver. Or, maybe forcing her to face the pain she caused, would have been an unfair pain to her. Who knows? Its too late now. There are no great lessons to learn from my confession, other than to keep your hands off of little kids.
Mr. Sufjan Stevens, I'm so sorry that we share such a common life path. I pray you've been able to find some kind of meaningful love to accompany it like I have. Thank you so much for the 5 minutes of therapy you've blessed us with.
I'm very happy you found this song. I'm sure the rest of Carrie & Lowell and Sufjan's catalogue would bring great comfort to you. Reading your words about regretting not saying more reminded me so much of another song from this album, "Should Have Known Better." You can find a live version on RUclips from this very show.
While his lyrics can be beautifully flowery and poetic, I think his most powerful words are usually the simplest.
"I should have known better
Nothing can be changed
The past is still the past
The bridge to nowhere
I should have wrote a letter
Explaining what I feel, that empty feeling
Don’t back down, concentrate on seeing
The breakers in the bar, the neighbor’s greeting
My brother had a daughter
The beauty that she brings, illumination"
Thank you for sharing your story with us, it is very beautifully written. I am so sorry for your pain and so glad you've found some comfort in this song.
This is so beautifully written, I would love to see it published somewhere so it could reach more people. Are you a writer?
@audreywarnez
Thanks Audrey. The only thing I write is code. I wrote an instruction manual for fathers once, but couldn't find a publisher.
So I post stuff in quiet little corners of the internet. Its a hobby.
As a father of a kid of 1 and a kid of 7 years old your story was gutwrenching to read. So sorry how you were treated as a child. Children are so pure, innocent and full of love/life...
The way I'd cry if i hear this live 💀
Fr
My mother died in front of me naked of a violent drug overdose when I was 16. I am about to turn 24 and I still have not gotten over it, no therapist will help me, I have even been turned away for my baggage.
I am still mentally 16. I am stuck there and have been for seven and a half grueling years.
I downloaded some songs for a flight to see my girlfriend, and this was one of them. Never listened to his music before. Now, it is helping me process and feel her love more than any therapist could ever help me do.
Thank God for music. I've searched so long for a song like this..
stay strong brother ! she would be so proud of you 🤜🤛
I`m a 60 year old mamabear. Sorry for your lost and the trauma. Sending you hugs and love. Keep walking. There are better days waiting for you ❤
Stay strong ❤❤ sending love to you
Absolutely process with music, dance and song. What can also really help are IFS therapy and somatic experiencing. These are the trauma therapies I've worked with. I'm sorry for your experience. I hope you find the love within yourself that is still there. Big internet hugs my friend.
Very moving post . Stay strong . This pain can be the key for your future success . You’re not alone , we rooting for you ! You will find the strength
This version of the song, I would do anything to hear it live like this once in my life. 💙
A friend and I saw it live in Oakland, California a few years ago. The sounds toward the end of the song - the "we're all gonna die" section - was so loud and throbbing, an almost terrifying crescendo- it felt like my chest was going to break. My friend later said it was "the most apocalyptic moment of my life." A few weeks later his own father would die, nearly in his arms. The song is such a compelling and forceful reminder of our own mortality, and is a musical version (to me) of the great book The Denial of Death, by Ernest Becker. Sufjan's Christian faith brings some resolution to this (a faith I share), but this song stands along as both chilling and powerful, IMO. Probably one of the most powerful concert moments of my life.
Same
The ending of this performance hit me so hard. I didn't expect it at all, but the way he turns this sad and melancholic song into a celebration of life is so fascinating. All the lights, it almost feels like a disco, yes, we ARE going to die, but that's the beauty. What would it all mean if it wasn't so short and precious?
What's the lyric towards the end? I couldnt catch it
we are all gonna die… but I’m still alive
Yeah but it puts us under so much pressure,
the pressure to do it right or alright because it’s gonna be over at some point.
Imagine you're not familiar with Sufjan Stevens and your friend takes you to this concert. At the end of that song you're lookin' around the room all paranoid like "hey wtf is he talkin' about bro..."
If you listen to the first part of the song it makes more sense. The real paranoia would set in if someone wore earplugs until the last part
I could not possibly perform this. I would break into tears at the very start and the rest would be a bunch of voice-cracks and sobs.
Sufjan I hope you feel the love everyone has for you
I love tremendously when he remarks for us: "but we are still alive!".
lost my mom after a long-term hospital stay similar to sufjan and this song has been instrumental in helping me continue to go on. this live version sent me to tears immediately, without a doubt the best performance ive ever seen.
My dad died in August of last year. A year to the day after the last time I saw him and begged him to stop drinking and get healthy, before I moved 2500 miles away. I wasn't there when he collapsed at home. I wasn't there when he was in the hospital. He only lived two days until the withdrawal took him.
I hold a lot of resentment for him. The fact that I feel like he chose a vice over his family and only son. Just let it be everyone else's problem. But I also know that addiction is an insidious monster that can warp even the most strong and rational people.
And yeah... we could be dead in the next 30 seconds... every day is a gift.
"But I'm still alive".
And that's what matters.
(Sufjan talks, in his imagination, to his mother who just died.)
The evil, it spread like a fever ahead.
It was night when you died, my firefly.
What could I have said to raise you from the dead?
Oh, could I be the sky on the Fourth of July?
(His imagined and idealized mother responds here. Schizophrenic, manic-depressive and alcoholic, she abandoned Sufjan and his two older brothers, when he was just one year old.)
Well, you do enough talk, my little hawk.
Why do you cry?
Tell me, what did you learn from the Tillamook burn
or the Fourth of July?
(Sufjan)
We're all gonna die.
Sitting at the bed with the halo at your head,
Was it all a disguise, like Junior High?
Where everything was fiction, future, and prediction.
Now, where am I, my fading supply?
(his imagined mother)
Did you get enough love, my little dove?
Why do you cry?
And I'm sorry I left, but it was for the best,
though it never felt right.
(Sufjan)
My little Versailles.
The hospital asked should the body be cast
before I say goodbye, my star in the sky.
Such a funny thought to wrap you up in a cloth!
Do you find it all right, my dragonfly?
(his imagined mother)
Shall we look at the moon, my little loon?
Why do you cry?
Make the most of your life, while it is rife,
while it is light.
Well, you do enough talk, my little hawk.
Why do you cry?
Tell me, what did you learn from the Tillamook burn
or the Fourth of July?
(Sufjan)
We're all gonna die. (Sufjan invites us to live more consciously, knowing that death is coming.)
Thanks for this. It made me understand the song better and I actually got lost in the lyrics. And the music and sound effects. Gosh, he is so talented!
Thank you
The my little Versailles quote still belongs to the mother she always calls him by different bird names.
Thank you
@@ACLC00i think so too
My grandmother died yesterday.. when he says "Such a funny thought to wrap you up in cloth" I just feel my heart breaks..
I’m sorry for your loss and I lose my 3 year old and I know it’s hard when you lose a family member 😢
There's something so comforting about this. Tragic, for sure -- especially for those who've lost loved ones like myself. But there's something almost comforting in the inevitably of death; it is coming, and will happe to all of us. Life is, in many ways, like a weird vacation from our own nonexistence, and sooner or later our vacation ends. Things go back to how they were. And that's sad, but, especially when thinking of the death of a loved one, incredibly comforting to me. Our loved ones are never all that far away from us, in that aspect. Just waiting for us to come back from our own little vacation. I don't know if that sounds silly, but I suppose that's just how my mind works. Beautiful song, and I wish everyone here, especially anyone who's grieving, the best. Take care of yourselves
Beautiful take.
"a weird vacation from our own nonexistence" you put all my thoughts into a sentence so eloquently!
Real talk
This song is the only song that can make me cry in the first 10 seconds. The raw emotion and meaning behind this song is truly heart breaking. ❤️❤️
The only other song that comes close is the split tracks Wings For Marie/10,000 Days by Tool. I've never really heard anything else encapsulate the feeling of watching someone die in a dark hospital/bedroom like this song and those tracks do.
Wings For Marie in particular is rough especially when you understand the background of it. His mother had a stroke when she was very young, which left her bound to a wheelchair, and severely disabled for the rest of her life... which was 27.... long... years....
The whole time, despite her lot, she remained strong in her Christian faith and was a beautiful woman that really lived by the goodness that most Christians fake. The others at her church would talk about her behind her back and it left a strong impression on Maynard. He couldn't understand how his mother could remain faithful when, in his eyes, the being she prays to is exactly who robbed her of her life... and how he felt that the church had turned their back on her.
But when she was in her final days, he came to terms with it, and that's what those two tracks are about. If you haven't heard them, I'd recommend it. You can tell how protective and loyal he was to his mother...
@@Zeta9966 I thought exactly about that album when I heard this song. So funny someone should mention it here. Glad to see other people can enjoy Sufjan Stevens and Tool at the same time ;-)
I found this song referenced in an online book that quoted the song "did you get enough love my little dove? Why do you cry?" The name of the book is "Landon: my killer lover."
what is the book about?
this song is so sad but i love it
I hope he is doing OK. I hope he knows he is so loved.
I would do anything to see this live…anything
Beautiful poet, beautiful music 🎶 thank for for sharing your gift ❤
always will forever hold this song in my heart, sometimes i find it too hard to listen to. takes me back to the heartbreak of my first love. “and im sorry i left but it was for the best though it never felt right”.
this is one of the most heart breaking live performances ever… keep it up sufjan
I want to see Sufjan live once before I die or he retires.
I’m from Ireland but will literally fly to another continent if he tours again.
I live in England. Let's do it
@@whyisntitpossible404 still waiting for tour dates haha. Praying!
His best album and my favorite song, so much feelings
I get goosebumps every time I watch the live performance of sufjan
We will all see them someday, we will be together again.
When I listen to this song , I can't control my tears 🥺🥺
This song gives me hope. There is an end.
I don't think I'd survive hearing this livr
Sufjan stevens is the rescuer of the music
What is the bad if he were more famous
His lyrics dive deep into the human nature and can explicitly reveal and describe the complexity of sentiments we had from time to time
Keep going sufjan
Make us understand more about our spiritual needs
The Fourth of July this year was the hardest. It was exactly 2 months after my favourite cousin died at 23.
He would’ve never really listened to this song cuz it was to slow for him ig
I get closer to him while listening to it
Thank you
I’ll always love u Jan ur one of the greatest people in my family
My role model
I’ll keep the extrem happiness we both got from grandpa
For u
Every of my smilies
I know u want me to laugh
This just simplified all my problems. Wow... 😵😭💖
Fourth of july sempre será uma obra prima
One of my save song forever 🧎♀️
This song is transcending ❤ so much pain and love expressed un a couple of minutes ago
this song is so sad even the camera is tearing up at certain points
This is the most beautiful and saddest song ive ever heard.
It's so so beautiful
So beautiful. Georgeous music and lyrics ❤
Wow ❤ this song perfectly describes my love , and loosing my precious mother.
You can tell it took him alot to perform this ...❤❤❤
Was listening to a random playlist and this song came up. I ignored it most part of the song thinking it's just like any other slow sad song.
Then I heard that "my little Versailles" part and knew right away there was more to this song so I restarted it and I was right
🥹🥹❣️❣️❣️
Beautiful, thank you.
It's not related any sad story but i used to learn Englis, i love this language so bad but now i switch to Chinese, whenever i listen to this song it's remind me, it's give all of gud memories, all of sorrows i had been through..... Hope i can fluently Chinese in early time to back to my lovely English.
2:16 its heaven
My dream is to see this performance live
Amo essa música
Muito obrigado, por ter postado esse vídeo!😔🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍
Just wow.
Happy fourth ❤
you look happy when I’m not with you
Why you'd attack like that😞
this is a song about someone mother and you make it about your stupid crush, please grow up.
This is live, it's absolutely seamless 🙏🏻💓
This is one of the best live performances I have ever heard
Questa canzone é incredibile ... ❤
This song is sad and it makes your heart sad too 😢😢
@@Riddleismycat But we're still alive!
@@jmk888 I know
The world is harsh life is sad everything will pass and smiling is the best things 😅
It reminds me my friend that i lost
How can one play this live without bawling like a baby??/
INJECT THIS SONG IN MY VEIMS I WANNA CRY TILL MORNING
More please.
Beautiful
Why does this song come up after every music video I watch on here, it’s not fair lol
Ohh ok here we go 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
fs makes me cry its ....
Hey my cat died in her sleep and I will never forget that.
He looks fine
That ending tho 🤯
oh em gee
this song is so dark, my my
bunu görmek hayatımın şansı
yoruldum yoruldum yoruldum çok yorgunum
His mother 😢
❤❤❤ 👌
❤
imissyou mahal:(
😢
There is a live version of this song I can't find, it was the best. They were dressed in colours and the crowd singed along. Anyone knows what Im talking about?
Probably from the 2016 tour. Maybe Sasquatch, Outside Lands, or Pitchfork. They should all be on RUclips.
@@jmk888 haha thanks for being so quick! It is Outside Lands!
nobody understands, I am gutted and miss her.
Sending you so much love.
#eden_lost
I will never escape this pit of irresponsible neglect without your help!
It has to be really painful to sing this after you mother has died😢
And now his partner... Gosh.
damn ur strong af
this song always reminds me of helena by my chemical romance
😢😭😭😭😭😭😭🥲
Devastating song
cry
💔😭
I like you💋
This song destroys me.
Kgomotso