Steven For your next guest I want to see LIZZO I would love to hear her story. You have this uncanny way to get people to open up and really get vulnerable ❤❤❤
I’ve seen so many people almost mad at him for trying to “sound smart” but I honestly think that just comes from people being so used to hearing celebrities being so watered down. They’re shocked to hear someone his age use bigger words than slang.
@@calumnoah9412 Are you trying to say that that should be expected for his age? Because I know plenty of people here on Beyonce's internet over the age of 30 that do not even know the difference between their/they're/there or your/you're. lol
@@MollyMA13 you said someone his age like he is a 15 y/o with a nice vocabulary. He sure talks way more articulate and has a deeper vocabulary than the average people or average celeb but i mean if we are being impressed by a 30 y/o that can speak good its a problem
I love this podcast so much, one of my favorite ever done on this channel, can't stop coming back to it. Really dives deep into the surviving endurance of human nature & how to turn victim mentality into victor mentality. What the industry did to Jennette, Miley Cyrus, the Sprouse twins and many other child celebrities in the name of money or fame was horrific but some of them ended up becoming happy mature powerful beings anyhow.
this should’ve been the title. “my narcissistic mum sacrificed my childhood for fame” sounds exactly what he’s trying to avoid here which is wearing the victim hood.
I do not think anyone will break your heart more than a member of your family. Edit: I am very thankful for the likes and also very thankful to everyone for sharing and continuing to share their experiences❤
"I think gratefulness and ungratefulness can exist simultaneously". This is so spot on with the times in our lives we know something is bad...yet we feel guilty for even thinking that way.
You are so right. I can't get over the insight that he has at his age. Such a smart kid but it also shows how you have to be smart and figure out how to navigate your life with a narcissist.
He and Jeanette McCurdy should create a support group for adult child actors with abusive mothers - damn, both their stories are nuts. The fact they are secure, functioning adults is a miracle.
As a mother entertainment careers and fame is probably the last thing I actually want for my children especially as kids. If my children really wanted to chase that then sure I'd support them but I would be guarding their time and against the pressure like a mama bear. Parents that push kids so hard in anything and make them work like grown ass adults are not putting the kids needs first. I don't care if it's acting, singing, sports, social media, whatever.
He is so self-aware. The way he talks about acting and privilege, I totally get it. The fact that those who aren't privileged sometimes have to take on non-artistic roles is so relatable. I really enjoyed this conversation.
So nice to see a 30 year old as intelligent, in touch with himself, and thoughtful about life as Cole. Couldn’t be more honest and down to earth for someone in showbiz.
Most 16 year olds from the 15th century, are more intelligent in published diaries then some people today! Society has really gone down as a whole! So it's nice to see someone that's intelligent!
It has absolutely nothing to do with age. Most people never receive the gift of enlightenment. Most live their entire life, going through the motions and never wake up.
@@abigailgenevieve6323 With age dosen't always bring about wisdom.But true wisdom comes from God, and without God, you can only become book 📚 smart! The creator of the Universe and the world 🌎 knows, way more than mankind;
I’m 3 years younger than Cole & Dylan. I literally grew up with them, watching them on Disney. Loving every show & movie they did. It’s so refreshing to see how humble cole is & he really opened my eyes to a lot during this interview 🖤🫶🏼
because he has strength and a purpose to not let it destroy him but on the inside he is screaming. he just has learned how other disney stars are losing their minds and he chose not to lose his.
loved this podcast such a big fan.... for YEARS can't wait to see more of you... big fan from Paris ( you should have a podcast where u interview other child start ) you're amazing @@ColeSprouse-kw7qz
I didn’t realize this until he said it but he’s 30, lol. Stop seeing him as Big Daddy age and realize he’s a full adult. He speaks eloquently and if people are attacking him for that then they probably just don’t understand what he’s saying 😂
@@eminemillythe hate is not really because of jealousy. cole is hated because he's perceived as narcissistic and controlling because of how he treated his ex, lili reinhart. Irdk what went down between them but I just saw people commenting about them on twitter. apparently, he had interviews or conversations with her indicating his controlling and narcissistic behavior.
@@eminemilly nah people don't like him because he comes off as a fake intellectual. and his tumblr "social experiment" left a bad taste in people's mouths. Plus they way he treated his ex at that time and the way he treated Lili Reinhart. But even so i do have sympathy for him cause having that kind of childhood can mess anyone up and emotionally stunt them
@@Sara-dp5dg I think you and most people need to just stop trying to inject yourselves into people's lives. it's unhealthy and weird. parasocial behavior is a cancer.
20 minutes in, and as a kid, I loved this guy. Cute, funny. Seeing him again as his authentic self, I love him even more. He’s so intelligent, and I’m amazed by his ability to articulate his thoughts and perspective. “We trade trauma for wisdom”, yes, but there are also those that just sit and dwell in it. I’m proud of the man he is today. Amazing
I just started watching this episode but I had to thank you for your comment. I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and anxiety and depression have been around fir as long as I can re. I'll now see that being grounded is the enemy and I'm not going to let it win.
the presnt can cause anxiety anyway um i hav a simliar mom but shes not interested in the biz i kinda am to but its intersting to hear his thuoghts, i just started watching the video ps i was on te news today speaking of media and it may be an in into he indsuty it was about costs of ambulance services
That's all nice and well, but not every trauma is overcomeable. Not every pain turns to wisdom. At least not completely. Most just keep digging until there's nothing left.
@@daisyo.6666 If you can't be happy with every animal you see, every tree, and every bird you hear sing, then you haven't suffered enough to know how good it is to not suffer.
@@benegmond6584 That only really applies to a curable mental health issue like depression and not a full blown mental illness like a personality disorder tbh.
Cole is immensely self-aware! It was a breath of fresh air listening to him talk about his family struggles because it’s beyond relatable, it’s pure truth. I needed that, a lot of people needed that!
Cole is an authentic soul who will bring much depth to a character he decides to portray. Nothing more satisfying than listening to someone in his shoes who speaks from a place of humility. Good for him!!!
It may be truth. Or some of it might be a distortion. Specifically regarding his mother. He resents her for spending the money. Which is a fair point but he may have taken it too far by slandering her publicly.
I think Cole should write a book. I don’t know about what… but I just want to hear what he has to say about things. I love the way he speaks. It sounds so eloquent and makes me feel things I don’t fully understand. So many amazing things to think about. - Gratefulness and ungratefulness -Stability of youth - trauma and emotional awareness Literally someone get this man a book deal!
"We trade trauma for wisdom," Cole is such an inspiration! He was sold out by his own mom, and not until much later as an adult do you realize your parents did not have the best intentions for you. As a girl, my situation was a little different but my mom was jealous of me growing up. I didn't understand at the time, until I was 23 and a friend pointed it out to me. My mom would insult me and degrade me growing up making me feel inherently "bad." I always knew she was off, but as children you can't help but internalize their opinions of you.
Moms like this are so weird, I had a wonderful mom who died when I was fresh outta high school so this always boggles my mind , I have the classic old mean drunk dad. But the fact that there are moms who actually get jealous of their daughters like looks etc but also in extreme cases issues w the step dad too. Makes me feel ill.
"I will never be a victim! What happened in my youth carved me into what I am today....for better!!" That line alone makes me admire this intelligent young man!!
These days celebrities with estranged lives or family either whine about being a victim (COUGH) Meghan Markle (COUGH) or they use their trauma to become a better person and lead a better life, Jeanette McCurdy’s another one, her book’s sad and yet sometimes your laughing with her on the bizarreness of it, not someone who wants to play the victim game at all.
@@styepen602 So someone talking about their trauma is them "whining"? No wonder suicide happens at a high rate! Victimizing victims doesn't help! And someone saying they "don't like" to be a victim, doesn't eliminate the FACT that they're STILL and *always will be* a victim! 🙄
@@marissa._ Did you ever think that some of those suicides were people whose mental health issues were ignored because of these pretentious people who whine? I’m very lucky not to know anyone personally who took their own life but I know several people who have had severe depression who were probably dismissed as soft and weak themselves, but all these people came out stronger, braver and happier, maybe more than I’ll ever be, some can’t and it’s sad they can’t, but I cannot stand anyone using mental illness as an excuse or some other crap, it discourages people to speak up or get more help.
Well it sounds like you’re a bit arrogant to have such a STRONG distaste for people’s suffering or trauma when you’ve stated you know NO one who has committed the act. I have. So you would be the privileged one, condemning others. You’re being insulting. You’re quite disgruntled because of the word “celebrity”. They’re not super human. And lastly, what is your beef, like a lot of people, with Meghan Markle. Y’all don’t know that girl! Or Prince Harry. You’re not moved by their story, point your view elsewhere. Your nastiness is not necessary. Come on, man. Be better in life.
I truly cant express how a part; small or large, of which I am unsure of yet, has changed after listening to this conversation. I relate to Cole, having a very narcissistic mother who was very selfish. I was thrown into being basically a mother to my younger brothers at 4 1/2, and being physically, emotionally, and mentally abused by all of the adults in my life. A childhood riddled with addiction being so evident in front of my eyes. I have struggled more than I can even have words for, but this.... This brought me solace. And it brought me light. Because I wouldn't change my trauma for the exact reason Cole shared. It is my strength and it is my wisdom. And despite my struggles I am beyond compassionate, loving, and empathetic and I have overcome my cycle of abuse and ended it for my son. Truly a beautiful episode, and the first one I've heard. I thank you both. So much love sent your way from a very unknown human, whom your words were beyond profound to.
My son wanted to act, took lessons, did a little modeling all, and got an agent in Hollywood all before 8 years old. He was running the show, he wanted to be famous. We indulged our son. He loved it, my husband and I did not like anything about being in those environments, so we dumped the agent and he was allowed to participate in local theatre productions. He actually grew to love that and developed a great group of friends who all acted, learned backstage work, and set design as well. He’s so articulate, theatre was a gift! Now he’d like to be a clinical psychologist when he starts college next year. My husband and I felt our son in danger when we were in Los Angeles because strangers wanted time alone with our gem. It is so tragic when a child’s greatest defender has turned a blind eye to their innate responsibility! I understand, I was raised by narcissistic mother, and I am no victim either! Stay positive, you’re awesome! God bless you kiddo!
Fascinating conversation. Love how articulate he is WOW. I just wanted to add hearing his speak about his mother with so much love and sadness was so endearing and equally I could feel his sadness. Loved the raw convo Steven! 👏🏽
@@elainejohnson796 These younger generations only see whats on the outside but when you talk about strong character and morality they got nothing smart to say...
I remember when Dylan and Cole ended Suite Life, I was a massive fan and knew that they were not close to their mother, they were close to their dad and were excelling academically. After Suite Life they immediately went to NYU to study and were inactive for 5 years until they returned to the industry. I wondered why would they leave at one of their primes but now I understand, they didn't have a choice to choose a career, what they like or have a normal school experience. They needed to go so they can find their path and purpose again.
I met him. I live in Manhattan. He was coming out of his dorm. Very sweet, we took a pic together and played the guess which twin I am game.I lost. Lol
@@alethiamillner5603 I just sent my husband to Manhattan to surprise our friend from hLondon. Do you have any recommendations as far as entertainment or cuisine l go?
@@alethiamillner5603 How lovely that you had that experience. Child actors have had a hard road through the generations(think of Drew Barrymore, Brooke Shields). Thank you for sharing!
It seems to be the modern way that everyone wants to be famous but I personally can't think of anything worse! I imagine a lot of the family channels etc on RUclips and just parents over sharing their children's life on social media will face a backlash in years to come. It might make them financially better off but what about privacy and these kid's choice of what they share with the world?
This has to be the best podcast I’ve ever listened to. To be able to learn about who someone really is and have the space for appreciation of it is amazing.
15 minutes into this conversation and I'm already stunned how self aware Cole is.. I didn't really know his story before, but the fact he opens about it like he does here is so powerful.. motivational and somehow healing at the same time, as many people for sure may relate. I'm glad it showed up on my feed and for sure will share this video with others, and go back to it if needed. Hats off.
From experience most people who grow up with a narsasistic parent are extremely self aware. It's a trauma response. When you grow up under constant scrutiny you learn to constantly scrutinize yourself to monitor your behavior so as not to trigger the narsasist who is literally in charge of your whole life and has made themselves the center of your whole universe. You live for the narsasist. You think, act, move, breathe in ways that please the narsasist always and when you don't there is hell to pay. You feel guilty for even having an original thought or feeling. It's sick and it takes years to recover from.
@Gail A. I have learning disabilities. I can't control them. You however can control your nasty behavior. Work on this need you have to correct strangers. It's rude and you have made more of a fool of yourself than you have of me. My only failing is misspelling a word. Your's is your personality. How painful it must be to hate yourself so much that you need to correct strangers so you can feel important.
I'm in my 70's too and I had not heard of this young man or his twin brother. It's really lovely to listen to this articulate young man and his experiences. Narcissism, what can I say, ruins so many lives. I'm a survivor myself so I have some knowledge.
I love his grounding technique where he takes a break, even in the middle of a conversation, and checks his five senses so he can be more in the present and not let anxiety take over. Wise young man!
Super impressed by his emotional intelligence and the acknowledgement of the role of life traumas. Some people never gain this level of perspective. Wise beyond his years.
He sounds like someone who has spent a lot of time talking to a therapist. So much so he would probably be a good counselor for people who have been through what he’s been through.
He probably doesn't want to probably want's to live the rest of his Free life w/out the Exhaustion. He has his own things he worked through and even still is thinkin' over now.
Yeah. This is a lot of therapy. It also sounds like he’s trying to remove himself from the situation that he obviously still struggles to understand. It can sound a little cerebral. But then he’s been through a lot of really dark shite. If he has to use stream of consciousness type communication without drawing a breath, just to separate himself from the pain in his life, then have at sir. Just remember to draw oxygen every so often! 🤗
I was wondering if he meant to care for and love the narcissist. I hope it was to still have that capacity in general, rather than become an abusive person. Because if you keep caring for the narcissist, you keep getting harmed.
Cole’s answer to “what would you say to your younger self” was truly beautiful. Only someone with childhood trauma can deeply appreciate why it’s important to let kids be kids, to not rush them into thinking like / being an adult 🙏🏼
I'm a middle school teacher and what he said towards the end to his childhood self and about his future children was so so true. Children have a unique and happy light and spirit. We have to educate them but we can never dim their light or put it out. Children stay in that light for very few years as it is. I think the strongest adults are those that can still respect and learn from that vulnerable child they once were without wanting to change them.
@@MariselaR.da1daOnly Sorry but it doesn’t sound like you watched the interview, grasped the depth of it, or understand psychology. Kids don’t need unending recess, they need emotional stability from the adults in their lives and to be seen / heard (regardless of their earning potential). Monetary success can never fill a hole created by neglect / abuse, and the latter usually extinguishes any happy light…
I am NOT usually this person, but I RANDOMLY clicked this video today and it's exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for hosting this show, and thank you for having Cole Sprouse come on! You've both enlightened and inspired me.
I’m 31. I swear, once I turned 30 I was just like this is me. I’m not having relationships that are shallow. I want people around me that I can fully be myself and not feel like I have to walk on eggshells. I’m very happy with the people I have in my life.
There is this myth that women stop being relevant around their 30s. I used to think media pushed us out, but I think those of us in our 30s are just sick of being women and finally want to be people.
Same here! But it took a lot of counseling and healing on my end to get there. I don't live in a victim mentality but i was a victim. And now i can choose who i want in my life by understanding i didn't deserve what happened to me as a child and I don't want toxic relationships as an adult.
@@millennialodyssey5956 same here. i carried a lot of guilt and sadness for the broken relationship i have with my father. but in working through my trauma (and recognizing it for what it really was, abuse and trauma!) i was able to shed a lot of that and set boundaries with a person who does not want to do the work, acknowledge his mistakes, or take accountability for his behavior. i still struggle at times, but you can’t force them to love you, you can’t force them to treat you with respect, you can’t force them to change. and i can no longer continue to expend energy into or bend over backwards for relationships that are toxic, one-sided, not reciprocal. blood or not. fuck that. i turned 31 last month, and though i am still working to heal my inner child, i am grateful for the growth and change in perspective and lessons learned over the past decade. here’s to us, and our resilience and strength 🥂
"I don't ever want to be perceived as a victim of it. I'm not and have never been and never will be a victim of any circumstance that I'm in. I don't wear victimhood on my shoulder, I don't act like I'm my wounds and to repeatedly be reminded of my wounds." Really powerful stuff.
Living with a parent who's extremely narcissistic is so tiring and difficult, it constantly feels like you're being held back and never "free enough" to make your own decisions without feeling guilt or even anxiety
Accurate. Also..the deep shame when they do manage to hold you back or thwart your success. Panicking, in a trap you can’t see or touch, you question what’s wrong with YOU.
@@latenitetubing being an adult with a dead narc mom and trying new things/allowing myself to do something that I know as a teen would of cause an argument or chastising and then doing that thing as an adult and still fearing that even if though she can't hold you back anymore is wild.
@@latenitetubing Absolutely, i always try to fight those feelings off, especially the shame is such an awful feeling. The amount of times i couldn't fully enjoy a decision i made because i knew my dad was absolutely against it or made me feel dumb/stupid/untrustworthy for it. I always crawl back because i long for that approval and trust, but it always ends the same way, manipulation, control and over-all they never care about you, but only the consequences that could affect them.
@@RocketRoketto this really hits me, because although they're not there anymore, they somehow still have a certain control over your mind. That's what they want. I wish you all the best, although it'll take some time, step by step you'll take back control and feel comfortable with the things and decisions you choose to do
I love his non-victim mentality because a lot of people hold on to their pain and never truly move on to prosper and learn from that trauma . Like he said trauma = wisdom
@@jennjc800y’all are gross for this tbh. You seriously have no compassion for someone who clearly went through something so terrible they couldn’t recover? It isn’t our fucking fault what our brains can’t handle! P.a. An autistic person I’m sick of hearing shit like this lmfao
@@jennjc800 I feel like you both are villainizing people who experience trauma and either don't have the resources to process it or don't have the ability to "bounce back".
@@sytmor and that is ok. You are welcome to "feel" whatever it is you feel. I am more of an action person. Dwelling in misery is not the way I choose to live. We live in the age of technology. Anyone who wants to better themselves, has access in more ways than were available in the past. 🤷🏽 What is the point of experiencing the good and bad of life, if no one gains any wisdom from life's lessons?
@@jennjc800 you seem to have an incredibly privileged opinion and outlook. I’m glad you have resources available to you but not everyone does. Some depression can’t be cured by just “going for a walk” or watching a “motivational speech”. I hope you continue to flourish and learn compassion and empathy.
Idk why people have such a problem with Cole being articulate. Stop being a hater to everybody who uses big words lol, some people are just like that! He is an intelligent man, and quite self aware. I appreciate the fact that he rejects his “victim” status and embraces accountability. I heard this quote today: “so what, you have a past- so do I.” Our pasts must be fuel for our fire, not reasons to hold ourselves back. Good episode, subscribing now.
You’re right, some people are just that way. I’d get told by classmates that I was making up words and adult co workers would ask what a word I said meant, we need to go use on teaching language and the meaning of words, they are used to control us and literacy rates are dropping fast…
I had a HUGE crush on these boys in childhood, like many girls from my generation did. But, just like Jennette McCurdy's openness about her Hollywood experience, this interview made me really feel deeply for these young people who experienced trauma and hardship in a way we never saw through the screen. As a childhood trauma survivor myself, these kinds of interviews resonate and open me up to my own healing because I'm not alone. The people I used look up to so fondly were just as hurt, if not more so than myself.
Holy shit! I am a 46 year old man who has wasted his life trying to reconcile a toxic relationship with a narcissistic mother and a defeated father. Sadly I have to admit I have become a victim of my circumstances. I have had a total loss of purpose after my Dad passed in 2021. And here I am learning so much from the kid from Big Daddy. Didn't really know who he was but will watch his career with interest. What a smart, articulate young man.
@@clarifyingquestions He f-ed up his savings and $$ in his middle age. Later was beaten down (emotionally & physically) by his wife. Was brutally beaten 4 days before he passed at age 86. I am the unclaimed, unloved child who gave everything to make this into a family...after the world out there broke my faith, my heart a few too many times. I have desperately seeked a family only to realise I only have the toxic one I was born into.
I lost my 38 year old son two years ago and we used to have these conversations, your guest brought tears to my eyes with his willingness to look deeply into his life and to view trauma with compassion
Seriously, like wow the amount of connection that I felt with his views even though we live vastly differently lives I reminds me we all live the same human experience Hard to explain how insightful and thoughtful this convo was. Very takin back by his emotional intelligence
Seriously, like wow the amount of connection that I felt with his views even though we live vastly differently lives I reminds me we all live the same human experience Hard to explain how insightful and thoughtful this convo was. Very takin back by his emotional intelligence
I love him talking. Eloquent, fluid, transparent and raw, yet eually 'calculated' due to introspection, of which has evidently mastered. Loved this 🙏🏻💗
The word you were looking for may have been 'intentional' rather than calculated. But lovely observation. If he's reading, I'm sure he appreciated your sincere compliment 💛
I watched this entire interview without even a thought of turning it off. In this day in age I find myself really struggling to do so with all the simultaneous stimuli out there. This video was an hour or so long and it went by in what felt like 15 minutes. I really connected with Cole on a deep, meaningful, and philosophical level, as well as Steven's empathic presence. I would say great work guys, but this didn't feel like work at all. Love and light to both of you.
@@SAINTxSZNThat’s a very gross generalization of a broad medical field. Plus it simply is not factual. I think the op is someone whose had therapy, especially bringing up Oprah overcoming pain in her childhood, the fact he openly talks about his toxic upbringing and triumphing in spite. There’s no way she could know for sure but the podcast interview implied he worked thru trauma with therapy of some sort. There are bad therapists for sure and that’s why you find one that fit with you. Cognitive and behavioral therapy works and it’s been studied as well as documented in many medical journals.
Hes so eloquent and deep. I can listen to him talk about life and share his wisdom all day. Always loved and admired Cole as an actor. I had no idea his upbringing was so painful. Absolutely love the depth and intensity of this interview. This was such a heart to heart, human conversation thats many famous ppl never get the opportunity to do. Thank you for tThis! Cole's maturity is so refreshing and genuine.
Same. What a brilliant interview! Loved him always. He’s way younger but my son loved the suite life ! Also on movies with Adam Sandler. Followed his life since them and my fav is five feet apart. ❤❤❤
"Many famous people never get the opportunity to do"?? Lmao literally all famous people get the opportunity some just like to remain private or don't feel it's necessary.
Cole you are so profound!! I'm a 64 y/o and you have taught me so much in an hour. you have a gift. I am grateful to you and this pod cast.. BTW "The Diary Of A CEO" Pls add your name to the title. You are of value and need to be recognized Love and hugs to you both
Passion in conversations. Like having deep conversations. Having a narcissistic mom. Being a people pleaser. Being a young performer. Being both simultaneously grateful and ungrateful. I’ve never found a person I resonate so much with.
That’s because there is no space for people to talk about this. It seems only acceptable in these kinds of formats - but trust me there are people out there that would love to dive into those kinds of conversations. Bless you!
He seems to be a very emotionally and spiritually evolved young man. I'm impressed how he's overcome adversity of being raised by a narcissistic mother. It is difficult.
I have never identified so much with someone, yet come from such different growing experiences. I feel that feeling an outsider whilst growing up was something in common, but for me was just being a 3rd culture kid. I value true connection and deep honest conversation , communication, and connection at large, more than almost everything material in life. Thank you so much, and I am so proud to feel such that Cole is such a kindred spirit. I feel I have had such a harder time recognizing a lot of the qualities he presents in this conversation to be positive within myself, but seeing him communicate them eloquently has given me a sense of renewed faith that I am on the correct path, and proud of the ways I have reflected upon and grown from the trauma and strife I have faced through my years growing. I hope to continue, and to find the resolve and unwavering self acceptance and belief in my competences and worthiness of success to push through and actualize my dreams and goals. Happy to have found this channel, and will be going through these discussions thoroughly! Thank you so much!
I almost cried when they showed the picture of him as a child and him saying “I’d probably talk to him about hippos or platypus or something” very sad loss of childhood
I don’t know why I’m shocked by this with Cole and Dylan, but I am and I hate it. They were (along with Miley Cyrus and Jennette McCurdy and others) I loved acting (theatre) as a kid, but when I wanted to stop I was able to and now I’m more interested in acting for film. I enjoy expressing myself, but I can’t imagine being forced into it and wanting to quit and not being able to.
@@MaddieBullockI think it’s quite a tricky situation. Macauley Culkin spoke about it and said he still felt incredibly lucky. Only in the sense that because of what he got out of everything he had to endure. He was able to essentially retire at 14 and take jobs and do hobbies as they come, and not have to chase acting job after acting job. I imagine it’s similar to Cole and Dylan. The stuff they went through afforded them the luxury of being able to take up different opportunities and explore new avenues that might not have been available to them without having to do what they did. That being said, it doesn’t invalidate the surreal experience of being a famous child and essentially having your childhood taken away. There’s so many things you lose out on, and trying to relate to every day people can’t be easy, in addition to dealing with the trauma of having your entire image and personal life exposed to the world at such a young age which you can never take back.
Cole Sprouse really surprised me with his level of intellectuality. I really rated his aversion to victimhood, and focusing on the strength of a situation being the lesson 🔥 refreshingly powerful! Thank you for having him on 👑
@@lyssxo1860I wouldn't call it pretentious, but I felt like he was trying a bit too hard to step over it, maybe because it is still a bit too uncomfortable to accept it all.
As soon as he mentioned that he was raised by a narcissist, I knew there was going to be more wisdom in his words. You tend to develop emotional maturity faster than your peers when you deal with an upbringing of self-involved parents and gain self-awareness quickly once you start questioning how you were raised. Also, '92 baby here too ✌
@harmonyღhamgaming Of course emotionally intelligent parents are capable of raising emotionally mature kids. It only seems like they’re more mature simply because they get there faster than those who weren’t raised like that, because the experience we go through stunts our growth. However, what we lack in quick turnarounds, we make up for mindfulness and vigilance. Because we are able to detect certain behaviours in someone quicker than those who haven’t dealt with as such, we have the experience to approach the situation more consciously. Adding on, those of us who went through abuse are able to turn to information quicker now that we have access to education in our own pockets. We’re much more likely to fall down a rabbit hole of research and learn, hence why “tend” to be more emotionally intelligent. Although I will retract “faster” and place “better” instead. I know those who did have healthy parents and one thing I noticed is they didn’t have as much self-awareness. So that’s food for thought.
@harmonyღhamgaming Well yes that’s true, a lot of people raised by narcissists become narcissists and even intelligence and wisdom is feigned to feed their need for validation. I think because Cole is open to talking about it and putting a label on it, he has broken free from the cycle in a positive way - but he also seems pretty depressed and has used intellection to cover a probably deep well of sadness, emptiness and inability to access the depth of love and emotion. He doesn’t give me the sense that he’s an empath. He seems smart though. I don’t even know what I’m saying or the relevance to your comment at this point lol my bad
Wow. Hes just such a wonderful person. I love the part where he said he appreciates the financial stability of it. That to me means he realizes how lucky he is. Im so glad his childhood didnt break him. Im so glad he can sympathize with those of us that are struggling. Im struggling hard. So hard. This year broke me. I just appreciate that he appreciates what he has you know?
I’ve never heard anyone say they are thankful for their trauma. I was just saying to my therapist the other day, that the child abuse and pain I felt as a child taught me ultimate empathy, to the point that it became a problem. It took me a long time to allow my pain to not only soften me, but also empower me. I do wish I had learned those strengths in a different manner, but learning to not live life in regret or anger is a lesson not everyone comes to realize.
“I’ve never heard anyone say they are thankful for their trauma” Really? I’m definitely very thankful for my trauma. It’s what allowed me to become so spiritually strong and on fire for God! (For the record, I was sexually molested as a teenager.)
@@mechadoggy agreed, I have also felt immense gratitude (after time, and uncovering layers of old buried emotions and so on) for past traumas. Some call them "the crack that lets the light in" 💛
I'm so grateful for the abuse and trauma of my childhood from my dad. I would never ever wish that upon anyone, to go through what I went through. But it made me who I am today, it got me to THIS point in my life and it made me see people for who they really are, not who they pretend to be.
I'll chime in along with everyone else. I'm grateful for my trauma as well. I'm not sure it's entirely healthy of course as it has made me more hypervigilant in many ways, but it has also made me a better person. Not perfect. Better. That's not to say I wouldn't have wanted to learn these things without trauma.
It could be defensive mechanism or coping… I’m not thankful for mine I could have been a nicer person or even liked men had it not been for r@pe. Also some ppl become willing participants
The level of work this man must've done on himself is really crazy. To be able to speak about his Mother like he does, honestly, but without throwing her under the bus would be really hard unless you'd done a lot of work within yourself. Love how he views his life and what's happened to him- how he chooses to find gratitudes about her in any small way, which I think maybe was instrumental to healing. Also him talking in so much detail about his relationships and how his childhood bled out into that until he learned himself and grew to love himself, is also so meaningful to hear.
Also, the way he speaks about the victimhood, the anxiety.. grounding himself with the 5 senses, I think people will learn from his words. "We trade trauma for wisdom." I've been diagnosed with PTSD since 14. At 27, I finally 'accepted' the idea of childhood trauma & how its shaped my behaviors. I'm now 30 and haven't done much work on myself yet
As a kid I remember watching the twins on Zac and Cody and imagining how amazing their lives must be and how rich they must be from acting. In reality a lot of people from Disney have had a hard time.
Same. I used to be obsessed with them when i was a kid! Dylan was ultimate fav. I still remember reading that his favorite color was Orange in a magazine. Watching all their childhood movies, going on their website/youtube vids etc. Always found it interesting how Cole was more like Zack and Dylan more like Cody instead of how they're portrayed on the show. I also remember seeing photoshoots with their mom involved and thinking 'how supportive amazing of a mom she is!' Smh
@@JessAnonymous ikr I guess it's a Disney thing because with tia and tamera they switched personalities tia was more like tamera in real life and tamera was a bit more like tia but respect to Cole speaking out about his experience
Disney messes with their heads. I mean so many of them are messed up or have had trauma. I know for me I could connect with the delayed trauma and how it feels to be free.
@@jddSton I dont think it's solely Disney tbh. Many kids who were on Disney didn't turn out like Miley Cyrus (oop) her co-star Emily Osment turned out well. The kids from Phil of the future, Ant Farm, Sonny with a chance etc...Many are ok. I think everyone goes through some trauma in life Disney aside
I always had my suspicions about kids in Hollywood and this just confirms it. Cole, as someone who had a very tumultuous relationship with my own mother until I ultimately had to distance myself for my own mental wellbeing, I send you big hugs. You BEAUTIFULLY described the deep struggle people like us face with having birth givers that put us through less than preferable childhoods. I love the way you have come out of your situation, and you actually have helped me to see my own situation in a different light. Thank you so much for that.
The craziest thing is that he was going through all this in real life with his mother but playing a character that had the perfect single mother. Honestly Cole is such a incredible person and I pray God rewards him and his brother And dad with everything good in life
The whole "trauma made me a better person" is something we are made to believe is true. To some extent it is, but the trauma also gave you scars that will never heal and will always affect you in one way or another. I'm not grateful for my childhood traumas, I wouldn't have been a worse person without it.
My childhood was spent being constantly beaten by my alcoholic father. My parents lack of parenting led to me being repeatedly sexually abused young. I lived on my own and worked full time by 16, so I wasn't able to finish school because I had to support myself. I ended up being with a man who consistently beat and raped me because it was all I knew. My trauma 100% made me better. Absolutely. I learned through adversity and came out stronger. And honestly, people I know who have had difficult lives are usually way better people than those who had a sheltered life. I don't feel bad for myself. I'm not angry or resentful at anyone. I am who I am because of my life experience. That doesn't make the actions of others okay.. but spending my life feeling bad for myself isn't going to make anything better. Once I started looking for reasons to be grateful and started focusing on showing love to others (and this was WHILE I was stuck with my ex because of lupus) I just started getting better and better. That's how I built up the strength to leave. And now I have peace and stability for the first time in my life and couldn't be happier. People who have had privileged lives could have everything and still be miserable. I have a simple life as a housewife (because I have lupus) and could not be happier. I am so grateful just to have peace and stability and not be struggling to survive.
i think it can go both ways, you can have a tough upbringing and come out stronger and wiser and learn from others mistakes or you can become the product of that situation and spread it around. People who tend to never have any really issues or have it really easy tend to not be as strong and cant deal with hard things as well because they've never had to experience it so they never had to develop the tools to deal with it. Good example of these people are people that get offended over every single little stupid thing which arent actual problems.
as sad as it is to say, trauma only makes someone a better person if they're strong enough to make it out and want healing. so many people unfortunately go the other way, yes, but so many others, including myself, have come out the other end better people. I don't have as much childhood trauma as many, but what I did experience left me with BPD and mega abandonment issues. the rest of mine comes from a 10 year abusive relationship with a narcissist, and I came out the other end so much better of a person than I did going in, despite being left with these scars. I'm in no way grateful for my traumas either, but I am grateful that I was able to pull through and learn from what happened to me.
It’s not something we are made to believe, it’s something many people like myself come to realize over time. It may not be true for all, but it’s true for many. God bless 🙏🏽
I felt an incredible connection with Cole watching Riverdale. Now I know why. There was a scene in Riverdale wherein he broke down crying after speaking to his mom in a phonebooth. That acting felt so authentic and raw and relatable, I had a lump in my throat. Being raised by a narcissistic mother is tough.
He’s speaking my life story minus the fame. “How are you so normal?” the main question everyone asks me and it’s heartbreaking to think the norm is for us to all be absolutely destroyed by what happened to us. You are loved. You are strong. You are not what was done to you, you are who YOU choose to be.
Man, I can feel his disdain for his mother. The hurt runs deep, and my heart breaks for his younger self because of everything he had to go through, and for the loving mother he must have longed for but never got. He's an inspiration, He's done well despite it all 👏💖
A narcissist parent is the hardest life challenge I’ve had to “overcome” and I like that Cole points out that you never quite reconcile the two sides of that relationship. ❤
@@katjaxxx7353 You know Liebe Katja: I stopped talking to my "family" (parents and a sister) a few years ago now and have to say it was a relief and a necessary step to move on. This was my "forgiveness"
What an intelligent, articulate, spiritual and introspective young person! His balance is a rarity in our current culture. Authentic and present. You'll be just fine Cole Sprouse.
Wow. It's actually fascinating hearing this kind of honesty from a celebrity, especially the part of pain and being a victim and not celebrating the overcome of trauma. That has truly hit me deep.
IM READY TO EAT THIS UP! kiddos finally speaking up for themselves… it’s amazing to see and hear as someone who was raised watching them grow up on TV. You’re incredible, Cole, and Dylan!
I react the same with joy and happiness whenever I see young people speaking up for themselves and doing well at their crafts and artistries. I was born in 1991.
He is born in the same year like me, so I don't think you can call 30 years old kiddos :) But I have the same mentality and way of thinking like him and funny, the same kind of family, but with mine the narcissistic figure was the father:)
@Blitzy279 I call my mates kiddo... haha. My mumma used to call us kiddo all the time & it was almost always in a positive way/attitude/tone. So now I lovingly pass on & share, or "Knight" those who are special enough to be called Kiddo. Lolz. 😁 Oh, I'm an '85 baby... so yea. Old enough... 😏😵💫
Trauma to wisdom. I’m very impressed with the way Cole has chosen progress rather than despair, love rather than hate and empathy rather than building himself a stone castle that nobody can enter. Thank you. This reached into my soul.
Manifestation as an idea being oversold is AMAZING advice. There are people who genuinely believe if they think something, it will appear. Life just isn't like that. I love getting more into this conversation--the advice is so good here a little over an hour in. I see Cole Sprouse in a new light now. I always thought he was talented for sure, but I feel like he's definitely an amazing person.
cole needs his own podcast!!! so smart and relatable as another person that grew up with a narcissistic mother. he turned out to be such a good person. love how honest he is about everything. ❤ praying he has a fulfilled year!
Was only planning to watch the first 5 minutes, but the depth and intelligence of this man captivated me. I would love to sit and have a heart to heart with him. Fascinating individual.
What he said about not dwelling on the past and learning from our experiences struck as I've seemed to build my identity on being a victim and labeled "mentally ill". But no more. I now see things in a different light. I wish he would write a book because I believe I can learn a lot more from him even though I'm 15 years his senior.
I loved hearing Cole speak and share what he’s learned from his experiences. He’s so articulate his resilience is beautiful. One thing I’d push gently back on as both a licensed therapist and someone who experienced abuse by a parent. Expressing and sitting with the pain of what happen is very strong and what ultimately lets us move forward. Many people who had to grow up too fast can tend to dismiss pain as weakness. It’s often how we had to survive, so it’s very understandable. However if we never allow ourselves to express and experience that that pain and grief, it can tend to show up in unconscious ways. Allowing ourselves to be “victims” sometimes can be healthy and healing. Obviously there is nuance and variation, but often I think people are afraid that they will get stuck in a “victim” mentality. In reality if we never allow ourselves to really sit in the pain it can hold back our grieving and show up in negative ways. I love that he is focusing on growth and his future, but allowing yourself time to grieve and sit in the feelings of the past also demonstrates strength!
@@steph8030593 I don't think we're telling cole to do anything ? Lol he chooses to interpret things based on his experience, like everyone else. We're saying we think there's more nuance in this. I'm allowed to believe this as well has he's allowed to believe what he believes. I don't think all lessons are learned from trauma..I agree trauma can teach you lessons, but In some cases I don't think you need it like he states. Trauma can have a mainly negative effect, not always positive. That's what I'm saying. I'm not telling HIM specifically to choose otherwise. Lol I'm stating my beliefs.
I loved Cole's point when he said that you cannot control the enviornment even if you put everything in place, it might not go the exact way you want it to because it takes 2 people to dance. Then you need to accept that, blood or not. It's beyond insightful! He is great. I love hearing more of Cole's life. Thank you for having him on. Because of this clip, I have subscribed!!!
What he says about not disrupting the child like mindset he had at a young age and not putting human mindsets onto a child… wow. Literally a life changing statement. I love that
This sentence is so empowering! Cos most of us achnowledge that we've been traumatised, but feel trapped in that knowledge, constantly revisiting, or reliving that pain, but to think of it as wisdom, and a triomf over it and through it in life, is a positive outlook and empowering outlook!
@@weesh4645 indeed dad had custody forced on him and mom not able to be a single parent. Sucks to be a kid with no parents but at least he has talent and a work ethic and like he said well off financially - not fair but has to re parent himself and go be awesome in the world.
@@clarifyingquestions Well just because one parent is a narcissist doesn't mean that they both are. Also NPD isn't hereditary but narcissistic "traits" and "tendencies" can be passed down if that makes sense. Most of cases are a result of severe trauma before age 6. I've done a lot of research on the topic bc my mom has NPD.
I didn’t even intend to watch this bc it was so long so I went to skip through it and just got hooked. He really is intelligent and introspective, and I like to think he’s being honest here. I definitely empathize w the growth mindset and am so happy for him that he’s pulled through w it
Loved this conversation . "We all look for soul in other people. We wanna know soul exists..we want to justify our soul , by looking for soul in other people and when you find people with soul you want to hang on to people with soul. That is what we do.. .you know..." Great quote from Cole...
He’s soooo articulate and his views on trauma, experiences, vulnerability and victimization ring true! He’s grown into an exceptional young man. I wish him all the best. ❤
Love that he talks about not being a victim of our pain. Focus on growth. Many people would never guess my trauma because I haven’t stayed stuck in the pain. I grew and became stronger.
I love this interview. Especially how Cole spoke about pain and wisdom. He is relatable, down to earth, and is just grounded. He is straight forward, but does it in a way that is corky yet inviting. Cole has a gift of getting to the gut of things. He can bless others through his words. Great interview.
So interesting to watch this. Cole is only a couple years older than me, I feel like I grew up watching his career. As a kid, we used to be SO jealous of the Disney kids, dreaming that we could have our own Suite Life. It's wild to hear that the grass wasn't much greener for Cole
Cole has had the best spiritual awakening. You can see the light and the dark but he’s truly trying to make that light brighter. I’m 40 and still haven’t had the full awakening but I can clearly view it in him.
"They don't talk about the strength that is the byproduct of the pain" So true! No one deserves the bad things that happen to them, but you can either continue in the mindset that you're a victim or grow from it and overcome.
That guy is incredibly articulate. It’s impressive. He seems like he’s spent quite a bit of time in therapy. My father suffered from narcissism. It’s an incredibly difficult thing to process and set aside in one’s life.
I LOVED his response to the "for better or for worse" response... no, it's always for the better. His response of "we trade trauma for wisdom". I will never forget that.
Except that is not really true. Trauma actually changes the brain. No one should welcome trauma and think it leads to wisdom. It takes a lot of work and help to retrain the brain and lots of therapy to move forward and be able to move forward. Mistakes that one makes may lead to better choices later which could be viewed as wisdom. However, true trauma is not something anyone should be elated about.
The conversation cards me and Cole played are dropping here soon: theconversationcards.com
i already have
Can’t believe you didn’t say ‘I hope nobody’s listening but if you are then please keep this to yourself’!!!!!!
I'm really hoping for; Lili Reinhart, Raye (UK singer), Russell Brand, Halsey, youtuber 'the offensive tranny'🌟🌟🌟
Steven For your next guest I want to see LIZZO I would love to hear her story. You have this uncanny way to get people to open up and really get vulnerable ❤❤❤
Cole, I love what you said about not taking a child away from their present ness.
I’ve seen so many people almost mad at him for trying to “sound smart” but I honestly think that just comes from people being so used to hearing celebrities being so watered down. They’re shocked to hear someone his age use bigger words than slang.
@@himenyx153 very true!
He's 30
@@calumnoah9412 exactly
@@calumnoah9412 Are you trying to say that that should be expected for his age? Because I know plenty of people here on Beyonce's internet over the age of 30 that do not even know the difference between their/they're/there or your/you're. lol
@@MollyMA13 you said someone his age like he is a 15 y/o with a nice vocabulary. He sure talks way more articulate and has a deeper vocabulary than the average people or average celeb but i mean if we are being impressed by a 30 y/o that can speak good its a problem
"We trade trauma for wisdom". What a perspective to have a share. I love how he is actually an introspective being.
Yes....... he's amazingly insightful!
I love this podcast so much, one of my favorite ever done on this channel, can't stop coming back to it.
Really dives deep into the surviving endurance of human nature & how to turn victim mentality into victor mentality.
What the industry did to Jennette, Miley Cyrus, the Sprouse twins and many other child celebrities in the name of money or fame was horrific but some of them ended up becoming happy mature powerful beings anyhow.
I read your comment *exactly* as he said it! That was crazy lmao
NO OMG ME TOOOOOO AND I CAME TO SAY THE SAME!!! @@kj-pn8ll
this should’ve been the title. “my narcissistic mum sacrificed my childhood for fame” sounds exactly what he’s trying to avoid here which is wearing the victim hood.
I do not think anyone will break your heart more than a member of your family.
Edit: I am very thankful for the likes and also very thankful to everyone for sharing and continuing to share their experiences❤
Particularly, a narcissistic member of one's family. 🥀
@@AvecPoesie death by a thousand cuts
Yes. Your words resonate with my life completely
Yep, it cuts the deepest when the people you’re supposed to be able to trust betray you. Gives you trust issues for life.
Especially if it's your mom.
"I think gratefulness and ungratefulness can exist simultaneously". This is so spot on with the times in our lives we know something is bad...yet we feel guilty for even thinking that way.
You are so right. I can't get over the insight that he has at his age. Such a smart kid but it also shows how you have to be smart and figure out how to navigate your life with a narcissist.
@@joyjhollisExactly, completely agree.
He and Jeanette McCurdy should create a support group for adult child actors with abusive mothers - damn, both their stories are nuts. The fact they are secure, functioning adults is a miracle.
Christy Carlson Romano (Kim possible) is actually starting this! She talks shout this a lot with other child actors on her podcast.
@@Very.Valentine what's her podcast called ?
@@jordan4543 vulnerable
Absolutely!🎉
As a mother entertainment careers and fame is probably the last thing I actually want for my children especially as kids. If my children really wanted to chase that then sure I'd support them but I would be guarding their time and against the pressure like a mama bear. Parents that push kids so hard in anything and make them work like grown ass adults are not putting the kids needs first. I don't care if it's acting, singing, sports, social media, whatever.
He is so self-aware. The way he talks about acting and privilege, I totally get it. The fact that those who aren't privileged sometimes have to take on non-artistic roles is so relatable. I really enjoyed this conversation.
So nice to see a 30 year old as intelligent, in touch with himself, and thoughtful about life as Cole. Couldn’t be more honest and down to earth for someone in showbiz.
Has nothing to do with age.
Most 16 year olds from the 15th century, are more intelligent in published diaries then some people today! Society has really gone down as a whole! So it's nice to see someone that's intelligent!
It has absolutely nothing to do with age. Most people never receive the gift of enlightenment. Most live their entire life, going through the motions and never wake up.
Yes. I agree
@@abigailgenevieve6323 With age dosen't always bring about wisdom.But true wisdom comes from God, and without God, you can only become book 📚 smart! The creator of the Universe and the world 🌎 knows, way more than mankind;
I’m 3 years younger than Cole & Dylan. I literally grew up with them, watching them on Disney. Loving every show & movie they did. It’s so refreshing to see how humble cole is & he really opened my eyes to a lot during this interview 🖤🫶🏼
LOTS of celebrities say a lot of words, but don’t really say anything meaningful. Cole is so open, honest and it’s refreshing!
because he has strength and a purpose to not let it destroy him but on the inside he is screaming. he just has learned how other disney stars are losing their minds and he chose not to lose his.
loved this podcast such a big fan.... for YEARS can't wait to see more of you... big fan from Paris
( you should have a podcast where u interview other child start ) you're amazing @@ColeSprouse-kw7qz
I didn’t realize this until he said it but he’s 30, lol. Stop seeing him as Big Daddy age and realize he’s a full adult. He speaks eloquently and if people are attacking him for that then they probably just don’t understand what he’s saying 😂
And he went to college, he's a smart kid!
Amen..
I love that we are talking about how mothers can be toxic and narcissistic...it takes courage to talk about this
Lol cause everyone will gaslight you and call you a liar
“She cares about you”
It's literally commonplace imo. It's always mothers or women in general that are "crazy"
Females are narcissistic by nature
@@dmt3412 lol but dads always get the blame, people accept that, but with mothers it’s never the case
@@Jabba-le-feminist-hating-Hutt everyone, always, never..
Those are called, absolutes. Your mental health is showing lol
How an famous actor being real gets so much hate is mind baffling. Personally I think we need more of this.
I don't see the hate yet but they're probably jealous and think money should solve all coles problems
@@eminemillythe hate is not really because of jealousy. cole is hated because he's perceived as narcissistic and controlling because of how he treated his ex, lili reinhart. Irdk what went down between them but I just saw people commenting about them on twitter. apparently, he had interviews or conversations with her indicating his controlling and narcissistic behavior.
@@eminemilly nah people don't like him because he comes off as a fake intellectual. and his tumblr "social experiment" left a bad taste in people's mouths. Plus they way he treated his ex at that time and the way he treated Lili Reinhart. But even so i do have sympathy for him cause having that kind of childhood can mess anyone up and emotionally stunt them
@@Sara-dp5dg I think you and most people need to just stop trying to inject yourselves into people's lives. it's unhealthy and weird. parasocial behavior is a cancer.
@@Sara-dp5dg what was the Tumblr experiment about? I never heard about it
20 minutes in, and as a kid, I loved this guy. Cute, funny. Seeing him again as his authentic self, I love him even more. He’s so intelligent, and I’m amazed by his ability to articulate his thoughts and perspective.
“We trade trauma for wisdom”, yes, but there are also those that just sit and dwell in it. I’m proud of the man he is today. Amazing
😊
“Grounding yourself in the present is the greatest enemy of anxiety” Wow I felt this in my soul. Thank you Cole!
I just started watching this episode but I had to thank you for your comment. I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and anxiety and depression have been around fir as long as I can re. I'll now see that being grounded is the enemy and I'm not going to let it win.
the presnt can cause anxiety anyway um i hav a simliar mom but shes not interested in the biz i kinda am to but its intersting to hear his thuoghts, i just started watching the video ps i was on te news today speaking of media and it may be an in into he indsuty it was about costs of ambulance services
Loved this!
Agree
Fuckn unfair
“You trade trauma for wisdom… it deepens your eyes” ❤❤❤
That's all nice and well, but not every trauma is overcomeable. Not every pain turns to wisdom. At least not completely. Most just keep digging until there's nothing left.
@@daisyo.6666 If you can't be happy with every animal you see, every tree, and every bird you hear sing, then you haven't suffered enough to know how good it is to not suffer.
@@daisyo.6666 it is, you just let trauma beat you instead of build you and that’s where you messed up
Love this quote
@@benegmond6584 That only really applies to a curable mental health issue like depression and not a full blown mental illness like a personality disorder tbh.
Cole is immensely self-aware! It was a breath of fresh air listening to him talk about his family struggles because it’s beyond relatable, it’s pure truth. I needed that, a lot of people needed that!
lol no he isn't. dude is 10 feet up his own ass
YESSS preach it to the choir because i second that👏🏼
There are a lot of people all around the world that are very self aware, its just those often get snuffed out.
Cole is an authentic soul who will bring much depth to a character he decides to portray. Nothing more satisfying than listening to someone in his shoes who speaks from a place of humility. Good for him!!!
It may be truth. Or some of it might be a distortion. Specifically regarding his mother. He resents her for spending the money. Which is a fair point but he may have taken it too far by slandering her publicly.
I think Cole should write a book. I don’t know about what… but I just want to hear what he has to say about things. I love the way he speaks. It sounds so eloquent and makes me feel things I don’t fully understand. So many amazing things to think about.
- Gratefulness and ungratefulness
-Stability of youth
- trauma and emotional awareness
Literally someone get this man a book deal!
"We trade trauma for wisdom," Cole is such an inspiration! He was sold out by his own mom, and not until much later as an adult do you realize your parents did not have the best intentions for you. As a girl, my situation was a little different but my mom was jealous of me growing up. I didn't understand at the time, until I was 23 and a friend pointed it out to me. My mom would insult me and degrade me growing up making me feel inherently "bad." I always knew she was off, but as children you can't help but internalize their opinions of you.
WELL SAID
Same
How are you now? if you don't mind me asking because it's not very easy to grow maturely with such parents.
Moms like this are so weird, I had a wonderful mom who died when I was fresh outta high school so this always boggles my mind , I have the classic old mean drunk dad. But the fact that there are moms who actually get jealous of their daughters like looks etc but also in extreme cases issues w the step dad too. Makes me feel ill.
this is the kind of stuff that should be taught in school rather than advanced calculus in my opinion.
"I will never be a victim! What happened in my youth carved me into what I am today....for better!!"
That line alone makes me admire this intelligent young man!!
These days celebrities with estranged lives or family either whine about being a victim (COUGH) Meghan Markle (COUGH) or they use their trauma to become a better person and lead a better life, Jeanette McCurdy’s another one, her book’s sad and yet sometimes your laughing with her on the bizarreness of it, not someone who wants to play the victim game at all.
He's 30...
@@styepen602
So someone talking about their trauma is them "whining"?
No wonder suicide happens at a high rate!
Victimizing victims doesn't help! And someone saying they "don't like" to be a victim, doesn't eliminate the FACT that they're STILL and *always will be* a victim! 🙄
@@marissa._ Did you ever think that some of those suicides were people whose mental health issues were ignored because of these pretentious people who whine? I’m very lucky not to know anyone personally who took their own life but I know several people who have had severe depression who were probably dismissed as soft and weak themselves, but all these people came out stronger, braver and happier, maybe more than I’ll ever be, some can’t and it’s sad they can’t, but I cannot stand anyone using mental illness as an excuse or some other crap, it discourages people to speak up or get more help.
Well it sounds like you’re a bit arrogant to have such a STRONG distaste for people’s suffering or trauma when you’ve stated you know NO one who has committed the act. I have. So you would be the privileged one, condemning others. You’re being insulting. You’re quite disgruntled because of the word “celebrity”. They’re not super human. And lastly, what is your beef, like a lot of people, with Meghan Markle. Y’all don’t know that girl! Or Prince Harry. You’re not moved by their story, point your view elsewhere. Your nastiness is not necessary. Come on, man. Be better in life.
Cole’s awareness and incredible ability to articulate his experience is really something. All the best to him 🙏
This dude is smart as shit , and surprisingly down to earth .. so smart
He is very smart
I truly cant express how a part; small or large, of which I am unsure of yet, has changed after listening to this conversation.
I relate to Cole, having a very narcissistic mother who was very selfish. I was thrown into being basically a mother to my younger brothers at 4 1/2, and being physically, emotionally, and mentally abused by all of the adults in my life. A childhood riddled with addiction being so evident in front of my eyes. I have struggled more than I can even have words for, but this.... This brought me solace. And it brought me light. Because I wouldn't change my trauma for the exact reason Cole shared. It is my strength and it is my wisdom. And despite my struggles I am beyond compassionate, loving, and empathetic and I have overcome my cycle of abuse and ended it for my son.
Truly a beautiful episode, and the first one I've heard. I thank you both.
So much love sent your way from a very unknown human, whom your words were beyond profound to.
My son wanted to act, took lessons, did a little modeling all, and got an agent in Hollywood all before 8 years old. He was running the show, he wanted to be famous. We indulged our son. He loved it, my husband and I did not like anything about being in those environments, so we dumped the agent and he was allowed to participate in local theatre productions. He actually grew to love that and developed a great group of friends who all acted, learned backstage work, and set design as well. He’s so articulate, theatre was a gift! Now he’d like to be a clinical psychologist when he starts college next year. My husband and I felt our son in danger when we were in Los Angeles because strangers wanted time alone with our gem. It is so tragic when a child’s greatest defender has turned a blind eye to their innate responsibility! I understand, I was raised by narcissistic mother, and I am no victim either! Stay positive, you’re awesome! God bless you kiddo!
Nice. You did a great job as parents.❤
I couldn’t agree with you more ! 👏🏻 props to you 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Lmao sure
thank you for doing what so many parents didnt.
Thank you so much for giving some much needed balance to how I see actors parents.
Fascinating conversation. Love how articulate he is WOW. I just wanted to add hearing his speak about his mother with so much love and sadness was so endearing and equally I could feel his sadness. Loved the raw convo Steven! 👏🏽
@@elainejohnson796 These younger generations only see whats on the outside but when you talk about strong character and morality they got nothing smart to say...
that is what happens when you reflect the language just comes
Very articulate
He went to college.
Also Steven, I’m buying that card game! So good!
I remember when Dylan and Cole ended Suite Life, I was a massive fan and knew that they were not close to their mother, they were close to their dad and were excelling academically. After Suite Life they immediately went to NYU to study and were inactive for 5 years until they returned to the industry. I wondered why would they leave at one of their primes but now I understand, they didn't have a choice to choose a career, what they like or have a normal school experience. They needed to go so they can find their path and purpose again.
I met him. I live in Manhattan. He was coming out of his dorm. Very sweet, we took a pic together and played the guess which twin I am game.I lost. Lol
@@alethiamillner5603 LOL, I love that you lost 😂😂😅 . . How fun
@@alethiamillner5603 I just sent my husband to Manhattan to surprise our friend from hLondon. Do you have any recommendations as far as entertainment or cuisine l go?
@@alethiamillner5603 How lovely that you had that experience. Child actors have had a hard road through the generations(think of Drew Barrymore, Brooke Shields). Thank you for sharing!
It seems to be the modern way that everyone wants to be famous but I personally can't think of anything worse! I imagine a lot of the family channels etc on RUclips and just parents over sharing their children's life on social media will face a backlash in years to come. It might make them financially better off but what about privacy and these kid's choice of what they share with the world?
This has to be the best podcast I’ve ever listened to. To be able to learn about who someone really is and have the space for appreciation of it is amazing.
15 minutes into this conversation and I'm already stunned how self aware Cole is.. I didn't really know his story before, but the fact he opens about it like he does here is so powerful.. motivational and somehow healing at the same time, as many people for sure may relate. I'm glad it showed up on my feed and for sure will share this video with others, and go back to it if needed. Hats off.
Facts literally
well, people still think he is a kid, and looks like one, but he is THIRTY years old
From experience most people who grow up with a narsasistic parent are extremely self aware. It's a trauma response. When you grow up under constant scrutiny you learn to constantly scrutinize yourself to monitor your behavior so as not to trigger the narsasist who is literally in charge of your whole life and has made themselves the center of your whole universe. You live for the narsasist. You think, act, move, breathe in ways that please the narsasist always and when you don't there is hell to pay. You feel guilty for even having an original thought or feeling. It's sick and it takes years to recover from.
@@allisonharranmua8193 It is spelled narcissist, not narsasist.
@Gail A. I have learning disabilities. I can't control them. You however can control your nasty behavior. Work on this need you have to correct strangers. It's rude and you have made more of a fool of yourself than you have of me. My only failing is misspelling a word. Your's is your personality. How painful it must be to hate yourself so much that you need to correct strangers so you can feel important.
I'm 71 and have never heard of Cole before but I can see that he's an incredibly wise young man. I'll be looking out for his movies in future.
I recommend Five Feet Apart. It's a bit of a tear-jerker, but it's a solid film with some great performances.
I am 40 and I think exactly the same 🙂
There is NO way you ve never seen Cole Sprouse. He was Ross' son in Friends! 🙂😊
He was blonde back then.
@@ebbyc1817 from RSA don't know them either
I'm in my 70's too and I had not heard of this young man or his twin brother. It's really lovely to listen to this articulate young man and his experiences. Narcissism, what can I say, ruins so many lives. I'm a survivor myself so I have some knowledge.
I love his grounding technique where he takes a break, even in the middle of a conversation, and checks his five senses so he can be more in the present and not let anxiety take over. Wise young man!
mentally ill young man
How do you check your five senses for anxiety?
Oh I just got to that point of the interview! Lol
I teach that to my 8yo when her emotions are too much and she feels she's loosing control. Works like a charm, she grounds instantly!
whats the time stamp on this?
Super impressed by his emotional intelligence and the acknowledgement of the role of life traumas. Some people never gain this level of perspective. Wise beyond his years.
He sounds like someone who has spent a lot of time talking to a therapist. So much so he would probably be a good counselor for people who have been through what he’s been through.
He probably doesn't want to probably want's to live the rest of his Free life w/out the Exhaustion. He has his own things he worked through and even still is thinkin' over now.
Yeah. This is a lot of therapy. It also sounds like he’s trying to remove himself from the situation that he obviously still struggles to understand. It can sound a little cerebral. But then he’s been through a lot of really dark shite. If he has to use stream of consciousness type communication without drawing a breath, just to separate himself from the pain in his life, then have at sir. Just remember to draw oxygen every so often! 🤗
Yeah, right. "Be grateful for your trauma and then just move on." Great advice to live by.
“If you can still consistently choose to care, choose to love, that speaks a lot about you.” It does. He is a rare human being
I agree.
I was wondering if he meant to care for and love the narcissist. I hope it was to still have that capacity in general, rather than become an abusive person. Because if you keep caring for the narcissist, you keep getting harmed.
Cole’s answer to “what would you say to your younger self” was truly beautiful. Only someone with childhood trauma can deeply appreciate why it’s important to let kids be kids, to not rush them into thinking like / being an adult 🙏🏼
I'm a middle school teacher and what he said towards the end to his childhood self and about his future children was so so true. Children have a unique and happy light and spirit. We have to educate them but we can never dim their light or put it out. Children stay in that light for very few years as it is. I think the strongest adults are those that can still respect and learn from that vulnerable child they once were without wanting to change them.
He grew up a super star, and literally experienced an everyday form of recess! I think he had that happy light for longer than most kids ever will.
@@MariselaR.da1daOnly Sorry but it doesn’t sound like you watched the interview, grasped the depth of it, or understand psychology.
Kids don’t need unending recess, they need emotional stability from the adults in their lives and to be seen / heard (regardless of their earning potential). Monetary success can never fill a hole created by neglect / abuse, and the latter usually extinguishes any happy light…
I am NOT usually this person, but I RANDOMLY clicked this video today and it's exactly what I needed to hear.
Thank you for hosting this show, and thank you for having Cole Sprouse come on! You've both enlightened and inspired me.
I’m 31. I swear, once I turned 30 I was just like this is me. I’m not having relationships that are shallow. I want people around me that I can fully be myself and not feel like I have to walk on eggshells. I’m very happy with the people I have in my life.
There is this myth that women stop being relevant around their 30s. I used to think media pushed us out, but I think those of us in our 30s are just sick of being women and finally want to be people.
Same here! But it took a lot of counseling and healing on my end to get there. I don't live in a victim mentality but i was a victim. And now i can choose who i want in my life by understanding i didn't deserve what happened to me as a child and I don't want toxic relationships as an adult.
@@millennialodyssey5956 same here. i carried a lot of guilt and sadness for the broken relationship i have with my father. but in working through my trauma (and recognizing it for what it really was, abuse and trauma!) i was able to shed a lot of that and set boundaries with a person who does not want to do the work, acknowledge his mistakes, or take accountability for his behavior. i still struggle at times, but you can’t force them to love you, you can’t force them to treat you with respect, you can’t force them to change. and i can no longer continue to expend energy into or bend over backwards for relationships that are toxic, one-sided, not reciprocal. blood or not. fuck that. i turned 31 last month, and though i am still working to heal my inner child, i am grateful for the growth and change in perspective and lessons learned over the past decade. here’s to us, and our resilience and strength 🥂
GOOD FOR YOU.
THAT IS HOW OUR LIVES SHOULD BE.
Well said 😊
"I don't ever want to be perceived as a victim of it. I'm not and have never been and never will be a victim of any circumstance that I'm in. I don't wear victimhood on my shoulder, I don't act like I'm my wounds and to repeatedly be reminded of my wounds." Really powerful stuff.
how so?
so so powerful
Living with a parent who's extremely narcissistic is so tiring and difficult, it constantly feels like you're being held back and never "free enough" to make your own decisions without feeling guilt or even anxiety
Accurate. Also..the deep shame when they do manage to hold you back or thwart your success. Panicking, in a trap you can’t see or touch, you question what’s wrong with YOU.
@@latenitetubing being an adult with a dead narc mom and trying new things/allowing myself to do something that I know as a teen would of cause an argument or chastising and then doing that thing as an adult and still fearing that even if though she can't hold you back anymore is wild.
you said it perfectly in such short words.
@@latenitetubing Absolutely, i always try to fight those feelings off, especially the shame is such an awful feeling. The amount of times i couldn't fully enjoy a decision i made because i knew my dad was absolutely against it or made me feel dumb/stupid/untrustworthy for it. I always crawl back because i long for that approval and trust, but it always ends the same way, manipulation, control and over-all they never care about you, but only the consequences that could affect them.
@@RocketRoketto this really hits me, because although they're not there anymore, they somehow still have a certain control over your mind. That's what they want. I wish you all the best, although it'll take some time, step by step you'll take back control and feel comfortable with the things and decisions you choose to do
I love his non-victim mentality because a lot of people hold on to their pain and never truly move on to prosper and learn from that trauma . Like he said trauma = wisdom
Unfortunately, a lot of people never complete the equation and just dwell, their entire lives, in the trauma.
@@jennjc800y’all are gross for this tbh. You seriously have no compassion for someone who clearly went through something so terrible they couldn’t recover? It isn’t our fucking fault what our brains can’t handle! P.a. An autistic person I’m sick of hearing shit like this lmfao
@@jennjc800 I feel like you both are villainizing people who experience trauma and either don't have the resources to process it or don't have the ability to "bounce back".
@@sytmor and that is ok. You are welcome to "feel" whatever it is you feel. I am more of an action person. Dwelling in misery is not the way I choose to live. We live in the age of technology. Anyone who wants to better themselves, has access in more ways than were available in the past. 🤷🏽 What is the point of experiencing the good and bad of life, if no one gains any wisdom from life's lessons?
@@jennjc800 you seem to have an incredibly privileged opinion and outlook. I’m glad you have resources available to you but not everyone does. Some depression can’t be cured by just “going for a walk” or watching a “motivational speech”. I hope you continue to flourish and learn compassion and empathy.
Idk why people have such a problem with Cole being articulate. Stop being a hater to everybody who uses big words lol, some people are just like that! He is an intelligent man, and quite self aware. I appreciate the fact that he rejects his “victim” status and embraces accountability. I heard this quote today: “so what, you have a past- so do I.” Our pasts must be fuel for our fire, not reasons to hold ourselves back. Good episode, subscribing now.
I don’t see anyone hating on that ? What are you talking about ?
@@threadhoney9445 there are whole videos popping up now. Look up “Cole Sprouse Keeps Going On Podcasts”
@@threadhoney9445 they aren’t necessarily talking about this comment section.
You’re right, some people are just that way. I’d get told by classmates that I was making up words and adult co workers would ask what a word I said meant, we need to go use on teaching language and the meaning of words, they are used to control us and literacy rates are dropping fast…
@@threadhoney9445he’s getting a ton of hate on his potcast call her daddy.
I had a HUGE crush on these boys in childhood, like many girls from my generation did. But, just like Jennette McCurdy's openness about her Hollywood experience, this interview made me really feel deeply for these young people who experienced trauma and hardship in a way we never saw through the screen. As a childhood trauma survivor myself, these kinds of interviews resonate and open me up to my own healing because I'm not alone. The people I used look up to so fondly were just as hurt, if not more so than myself.
I've got a huge crush on them now at 86.
Beautifully said 👏
Holy shit! I am a 46 year old man who has wasted his life trying to reconcile a toxic relationship with a narcissistic mother and a defeated father. Sadly I have to admit I have become a victim of my circumstances. I have had a total loss of purpose after my Dad passed in 2021. And here I am learning so much from the kid from Big Daddy. Didn't really know who he was but will watch his career with interest. What a smart, articulate young man.
Woah your story is so similar to mine.
You are not alone. Let's try to stay strong even though it sounds hards.
Did your father not provide, protect and parent or did this grown ass man run and leave his child to fend for himself where a grown man could not.
@@Kbrjp-kx8sl thank you kind internet stranger!
@@clarifyingquestions He f-ed up his savings and $$ in his middle age. Later was beaten down (emotionally & physically) by his wife. Was brutally beaten 4 days before he passed at age 86. I am the unclaimed, unloved child who gave everything to make this into a family...after the world out there broke my faith, my heart a few too many times. I have desperately seeked a family only to realise I only have the toxic one I was born into.
Easily one of the most insightful conversations I’ve listened to in awhile from celebrities
I lost my 38 year old son two years ago and we used to have these conversations, your guest brought tears to my eyes with his willingness to look deeply into his life and to view trauma with compassion
You're a good mother to have had these healthy conversations with your beautiful son! Proud of you and sure he is too
Compassion? Really? Are we talking the same language??? The guy dragged his mother down the drain, no mercy whatsoever... I'm lucky he's not my son...
Yes, very difficult to look at trauma with compassion, requires lot of maturity and wisdom.
Sending you a huge hug ❤
@@bitsmagtv
Troll! 🤡
I have a tremendous amount of respect for Cole after hearing this. He's unbelievably articulate and self-aware. Great podcast Steven 🙏
Seriously, like wow the amount of connection that I felt with his views even though we live vastly differently lives I reminds me we all live the same human experience
Hard to explain how insightful and thoughtful this convo was.
Very takin back by his emotional intelligence
Seriously, like wow the amount of connection that I felt with his views even though we live vastly differently lives I reminds me we all live the same human experience
Hard to explain how insightful and thoughtful this convo was.
Very takin back by his emotional intelligence
This is what mountains and years of therapy, self learning and group therapy does for you. HEALING. UNDERSTANDING. PEACE.
I love him talking. Eloquent, fluid, transparent and raw, yet eually 'calculated' due to introspection, of which has evidently mastered. Loved this 🙏🏻💗
Additionally, I'd be curious to see Dylan beside him. Comparatively, based on speech giving and understanding.
The word you were looking for may have been 'intentional' rather than calculated. But lovely observation. If he's reading, I'm sure he appreciated your sincere compliment 💛
❤ don't forget BEAUTIFUL ❤
I watched this entire interview without even a thought of turning it off. In this day in age I find myself really struggling to do so with all the simultaneous stimuli out there. This video was an hour or so long and it went by in what felt like 15 minutes. I really connected with Cole on a deep, meaningful, and philosophical level, as well as Steven's empathic presence. I would say great work guys, but this didn't feel like work at all. Love and light to both of you.
Thank you for humanizing "famous people" and giving people a safe space to be vulnerable. The dialogue is healing!❤
This man has had plenty of therapy, he has his head on straight and is very articulate.
Therapy does nothing
How do you know that?
@@SAINTxSZN you forgot to add “therapy doesn’t work”….FOR YOU.
Words matter.
@@SAINTxSZNThat’s a very gross generalization of a broad medical field. Plus it simply is not factual. I think the op is someone whose had therapy, especially bringing up Oprah overcoming pain in her childhood, the fact he openly talks about his toxic upbringing and triumphing in spite. There’s no way she could know for sure but the podcast interview implied he worked thru trauma with therapy of some sort. There are bad therapists for sure and that’s why you find one that fit with you. Cognitive and behavioral therapy works and it’s been studied as well as documented in many medical journals.
@@SAINTxSZNguess you don’t go to therapy nor listen to your therapist if you have one
Hes so eloquent and deep. I can listen to him talk about life and share his wisdom all day. Always loved and admired Cole as an actor. I had no idea his upbringing was so painful. Absolutely love the depth and intensity of this interview. This was such a heart to heart, human conversation thats many famous ppl never get the opportunity to do. Thank you for tThis! Cole's maturity is so refreshing and genuine.
Same. What a brilliant interview! Loved him always. He’s way younger but my son loved the suite life ! Also on movies with Adam Sandler. Followed his life since them and my fav is five feet apart. ❤❤❤
"Many famous people never get the opportunity to do"?? Lmao literally all famous people get the opportunity some just like to remain private or don't feel it's necessary.
Cole you are so profound!! I'm a 64 y/o and you have taught me so much in an hour. you have a gift. I am grateful to you and this pod cast.. BTW "The Diary Of A CEO" Pls add your name to the title. You are of value and need to be recognized Love and hugs to you both
Anyone else can listen to cole for hours and hours?😩 MAKE YOUR OWN PODCAST
Passion in conversations. Like having deep conversations. Having a narcissistic mom. Being a people pleaser. Being a young performer. Being both simultaneously grateful and ungrateful. I’ve never found a person I resonate so much with.
That’s because there is no space for people to talk about this. It seems only acceptable in these kinds of formats - but trust me there are people out there that would love to dive into those kinds of conversations. Bless you!
He seems to be a very emotionally and spiritually evolved young man. I'm impressed how he's overcome adversity of being raised by a narcissistic mother. It is difficult.
I have never identified so much with someone, yet come from such different growing experiences. I feel that feeling an outsider whilst growing up was something in common, but for me was just being a 3rd culture kid. I value true connection and deep honest conversation , communication, and connection at large, more than almost everything material in life. Thank you so much, and I am so proud to feel such that Cole is such a kindred spirit. I feel I have had such a harder time recognizing a lot of the qualities he presents in this conversation to be positive within myself, but seeing him communicate them eloquently has given me a sense of renewed faith that I am on the correct path, and proud of the ways I have reflected upon and grown from the trauma and strife I have faced through my years growing. I hope to continue, and to find the resolve and unwavering self acceptance and belief in my competences and worthiness of success to push through and actualize my dreams and goals. Happy to have found this channel, and will be going through these discussions thoroughly! Thank you so much!
I almost cried when they showed the picture of him as a child and him saying “I’d probably talk to him about hippos or platypus or something” very sad loss of childhood
I don’t know why I’m shocked by this with Cole and Dylan, but I am and I hate it. They were (along with Miley Cyrus and Jennette McCurdy and others) I loved acting (theatre) as a kid, but when I wanted to stop I was able to and now I’m more interested in acting for film. I enjoy expressing myself, but I can’t imagine being forced into it and wanting to quit and not being able to.
@@MaddieBullockI think it’s quite a tricky situation. Macauley Culkin spoke about it and said he still felt incredibly lucky. Only in the sense that because of what he got out of everything he had to endure. He was able to essentially retire at 14 and take jobs and do hobbies as they come, and not have to chase acting job after acting job. I imagine it’s similar to Cole and Dylan. The stuff they went through afforded them the luxury of being able to take up different opportunities and explore new avenues that might not have been available to them without having to do what they did. That being said, it doesn’t invalidate the surreal experience of being a famous child and essentially having your childhood taken away. There’s so many things you lose out on, and trying to relate to every day people can’t be easy, in addition to dealing with the trauma of having your entire image and personal life exposed to the world at such a young age which you can never take back.
Cole Sprouse really surprised me with his level of intellectuality. I really rated his aversion to victimhood, and focusing on the strength of a situation being the lesson 🔥 refreshingly powerful! Thank you for having him on 👑
And unlike many other child stars, he's still cute as an adult!!
@@MsElke11 Or a complete mess and wrapped up in Hollywood drama..
i found his "aversion to victimhood" particularly pretentious.
@@lyssxo1860 why, do you like victimhood yourself?
@@lyssxo1860I wouldn't call it pretentious, but I felt like he was trying a bit too hard to step over it, maybe because it is still a bit too uncomfortable to accept it all.
As soon as he mentioned that he was raised by a narcissist, I knew there was going to be more wisdom in his words. You tend to develop emotional maturity faster than your peers when you deal with an upbringing of self-involved parents and gain self-awareness quickly once you start questioning how you were raised.
Also, '92 baby here too ✌
So true
@harmonyღhamgaming Of course emotionally intelligent parents are capable of raising emotionally mature kids. It only seems like they’re more mature simply because they get there faster than those who weren’t raised like that, because the experience we go through stunts our growth. However, what we lack in quick turnarounds, we make up for mindfulness and vigilance. Because we are able to detect certain behaviours in someone quicker than those who haven’t dealt with as such, we have the experience to approach the situation more consciously.
Adding on, those of us who went through abuse are able to turn to information quicker now that we have access to education in our own pockets. We’re much more likely to fall down a rabbit hole of research and learn, hence why “tend” to be more emotionally intelligent. Although I will retract “faster” and place “better” instead.
I know those who did have healthy parents and one thing I noticed is they didn’t have as much self-awareness. So that’s food for thought.
Very very true I'm experiencing this as we speak an I'm born in 94
@harmonyღhamgaming Well yes that’s true, a lot of people raised by narcissists become narcissists and even intelligence and wisdom is feigned to feed their need for validation. I think because Cole is open to talking about it and putting a label on it, he has broken free from the cycle in a positive way - but he also seems pretty depressed and has used intellection to cover a probably deep well of sadness, emptiness and inability to access the depth of love and emotion. He doesn’t give me the sense that he’s an empath. He seems smart though. I don’t even know what I’m saying or the relevance to your comment at this point lol my bad
Wow. Hes just such a wonderful person.
I love the part where he said he appreciates the financial stability of it. That to me means he realizes how lucky he is. Im so glad his childhood didnt break him. Im so glad he can sympathize with those of us that are struggling. Im struggling hard. So hard. This year broke me. I just appreciate that he appreciates what he has you know?
I’ve never heard anyone say they are thankful for their trauma. I was just saying to my therapist the other day, that the child abuse and pain I felt as a child taught me ultimate empathy, to the point that it became a problem. It took me a long time to allow my pain to not only soften me, but also empower me. I do wish I had learned those strengths in a different manner, but learning to not live life in regret or anger is a lesson not everyone comes to realize.
“I’ve never heard anyone say they are thankful for their trauma” Really? I’m definitely very thankful for my trauma. It’s what allowed me to become so spiritually strong and on fire for God! (For the record, I was sexually molested as a teenager.)
@@mechadoggy agreed, I have also felt immense gratitude (after time, and uncovering layers of old buried emotions and so on) for past traumas. Some call them "the crack that lets the light in" 💛
I'm so grateful for the abuse and trauma of my childhood from my dad. I would never ever wish that upon anyone, to go through what I went through. But it made me who I am today, it got me to THIS point in my life and it made me see people for who they really are, not who they pretend to be.
I'll chime in along with everyone else. I'm grateful for my trauma as well. I'm not sure it's entirely healthy of course as it has made me more hypervigilant in many ways, but it has also made me a better person. Not perfect. Better. That's not to say I wouldn't have wanted to learn these things without trauma.
It could be defensive mechanism or coping… I’m not thankful for mine I could have been a nicer person or even liked men had it not been for r@pe. Also some ppl become willing participants
The level of work this man must've done on himself is really crazy. To be able to speak about his Mother like he does, honestly, but without throwing her under the bus would be really hard unless you'd done a lot of work within yourself. Love how he views his life and what's happened to him- how he chooses to find gratitudes about her in any small way, which I think maybe was instrumental to healing.
Also him talking in so much detail about his relationships and how his childhood bled out into that until he learned himself and grew to love himself, is also so meaningful to hear.
Real Talk
Also, the way he speaks about the victimhood, the anxiety.. grounding himself with the 5 senses, I think people will learn from his words.
"We trade trauma for wisdom." I've been diagnosed with PTSD since 14. At 27, I finally 'accepted' the idea of childhood trauma & how its shaped my behaviors. I'm now 30 and haven't done much work on myself yet
As a kid I remember watching the twins on Zac and Cody and imagining how amazing their lives must be and how rich they must be from acting. In reality a lot of people from Disney have had a hard time.
Same. I used to be obsessed with them when i was a kid! Dylan was ultimate fav. I still remember reading that his favorite color was Orange in a magazine. Watching all their childhood movies, going on their website/youtube vids etc. Always found it interesting how Cole was more like Zack and Dylan more like Cody instead of how they're portrayed on the show. I also remember seeing photoshoots with their mom involved and thinking 'how supportive amazing of a mom she is!' Smh
@@JessAnonymous ikr I guess it's a Disney thing because with tia and tamera they switched personalities tia was more like tamera in real life and tamera was a bit more like tia but respect to Cole speaking out about his experience
@@janderson947 its a twin, acting trick they have them do. Basically play each other, Dylan & Cole did it too on Suite Life.
Disney messes with their heads. I mean so many of them are messed up or have had trauma. I know for me I could connect with the delayed trauma and how it feels to be free.
@@jddSton I dont think it's solely Disney tbh. Many kids who were on Disney didn't turn out like Miley Cyrus (oop) her co-star Emily Osment turned out well. The kids from Phil of the future, Ant Farm, Sonny with a chance etc...Many are ok. I think everyone goes through some trauma in life Disney aside
I always had my suspicions about kids in Hollywood and this just confirms it. Cole, as someone who had a very tumultuous relationship with my own mother until I ultimately had to distance myself for my own mental wellbeing, I send you big hugs. You BEAUTIFULLY described the deep struggle people like us face with having birth givers that put us through less than preferable childhoods. I love the way you have come out of your situation, and you actually have helped me to see my own situation in a different light. Thank you so much for that.
The craziest thing is that he was going through all this in real life with his mother but playing a character that had the perfect single mother. Honestly Cole is such a incredible person and I pray God rewards him and his brother And dad with everything good in life
The whole "trauma made me a better person" is something we are made to believe is true. To some extent it is, but the trauma also gave you scars that will never heal and will always affect you in one way or another. I'm not grateful for my childhood traumas, I wouldn't have been a worse person without it.
My childhood was spent being constantly beaten by my alcoholic father. My parents lack of parenting led to me being repeatedly sexually abused young. I lived on my own and worked full time by 16, so I wasn't able to finish school because I had to support myself. I ended up being with a man who consistently beat and raped me because it was all I knew. My trauma 100% made me better. Absolutely. I learned through adversity and came out stronger. And honestly, people I know who have had difficult lives are usually way better people than those who had a sheltered life. I don't feel bad for myself. I'm not angry or resentful at anyone. I am who I am because of my life experience. That doesn't make the actions of others okay.. but spending my life feeling bad for myself isn't going to make anything better. Once I started looking for reasons to be grateful and started focusing on showing love to others (and this was WHILE I was stuck with my ex because of lupus) I just started getting better and better. That's how I built up the strength to leave. And now I have peace and stability for the first time in my life and couldn't be happier.
People who have had privileged lives could have everything and still be miserable.
I have a simple life as a housewife (because I have lupus) and could not be happier. I am so grateful just to have peace and stability and not be struggling to survive.
i think it can go both ways, you can have a tough upbringing and come out stronger and wiser and learn from others mistakes or you can become the product of that situation and spread it around. People who tend to never have any really issues or have it really easy tend to not be as strong and cant deal with hard things as well because they've never had to experience it so they never had to develop the tools to deal with it. Good example of these people are people that get offended over every single little stupid thing which arent actual problems.
No. Its you can make use it to make you better or you can not. Its not a given.
as sad as it is to say, trauma only makes someone a better person if they're strong enough to make it out and want healing. so many people unfortunately go the other way, yes, but so many others, including myself, have come out the other end better people. I don't have as much childhood trauma as many, but what I did experience left me with BPD and mega abandonment issues. the rest of mine comes from a 10 year abusive relationship with a narcissist, and I came out the other end so much better of a person than I did going in, despite being left with these scars. I'm in no way grateful for my traumas either, but I am grateful that I was able to pull through and learn from what happened to me.
It’s not something we are made to believe, it’s something many people like myself come to realize over time. It may not be true for all, but it’s true for many.
God bless 🙏🏽
I felt an incredible connection with Cole watching Riverdale. Now I know why. There was a scene in Riverdale wherein he broke down crying after speaking to his mom in a phonebooth. That acting felt so authentic and raw and relatable, I had a lump in my throat. Being raised by a narcissistic mother is tough.
I was wondering why I felt that connection as well when watching that show. This makes so much sense now.
Same.
Felt it too.
I appreciate all of these former child stars coming out and freeing themselves with the truth I know it’s like a weight lifted of them I’m sure 🙏🏽❤️
He’s speaking my life story minus the fame. “How are you so normal?” the main question everyone asks me and it’s heartbreaking to think the norm is for us to all be absolutely destroyed by what happened to us. You are loved. You are strong. You are not what was done to you, you are who YOU choose to be.
Man, I can feel his disdain for his mother. The hurt runs deep, and my heart breaks for his younger self because of everything he had to go through, and for the loving mother he must have longed for but never got. He's an inspiration, He's done well despite it all 👏💖
The wickedness of some mothers needs to be on display more often. All we ever hear about is awful fathers.
That's interesting, I sort of understood it as him talking about her with empathy and understanding, while also holding his parents accountable
@@theoneandonly3388 Same.
The mom made them multi millionaires 😆
@@craigrankine9867 So, that doesn't give her the right to abuse them. What is wrong with you?
A narcissist parent is the hardest life challenge I’ve had to “overcome” and I like that Cole points out that you never quite reconcile the two sides of that relationship. ❤
Same here. And then it’s us who are “the ones” and are not thankful for “what they have done all this years for us”. I could throw up 🤮
@@katjaxxx7353 You know Liebe Katja: I stopped talking to my "family" (parents and a sister) a few years ago now and have to say it was a relief and a necessary step to move on. This was my "forgiveness"
Yes, me , too. A narcissistic mother. So very painful and confusing. But also a lesson that enriches you in many ways, if you tackle that wound.
@@katjaxxx7353 yeah you’re 100% correct.
@@northofyou33 that’s a great way to put it.
What an intelligent, articulate, spiritual and introspective young person! His balance is a rarity in our current culture. Authentic and present. You'll be just fine Cole Sprouse.
Wow. It's actually fascinating hearing this kind of honesty from a celebrity, especially the part of pain and being a victim and not celebrating the overcome of trauma. That has truly hit me deep.
IM READY TO EAT THIS UP! kiddos finally speaking up for themselves… it’s amazing to see and hear as someone who was raised watching them grow up on TV. You’re incredible, Cole, and Dylan!
I react the same with joy and happiness whenever I see young people speaking up for themselves and doing well at their crafts and artistries. I was born in 1991.
He is born in the same year like me, so I don't think you can call 30 years old kiddos :) But I have the same mentality and way of thinking like him and funny, the same kind of family, but with mine the narcissistic figure was the father:)
@@Blitzy279She's probably his mom's age, so he's a kiddo to her.
@Blitzy279 I call my mates kiddo... haha. My mumma used to call us kiddo all the time & it was almost always in a positive way/attitude/tone. So now I lovingly pass on & share, or "Knight" those who are special enough to be called Kiddo. Lolz. 😁
Oh, I'm an '85 baby... so yea. Old enough... 😏😵💫
Trauma to wisdom. I’m very impressed with the way Cole has chosen progress rather than despair, love rather than hate and empathy rather than building himself a stone castle that nobody can enter. Thank you. This reached into my soul.
Manifestation as an idea being oversold is AMAZING advice. There are people who genuinely believe if they think something, it will appear. Life just isn't like that. I love getting more into this conversation--the advice is so good here a little over an hour in. I see Cole Sprouse in a new light now. I always thought he was talented for sure, but I feel like he's definitely an amazing person.
cole needs his own podcast!!! so smart and relatable as another person that grew up with a narcissistic mother. he turned out to be such a good person. love how honest he is about everything. ❤ praying he has a fulfilled year!
Agree
Was only planning to watch the first 5 minutes, but the depth and intelligence of this man captivated me. I would love to sit and have a heart to heart with him. Fascinating individual.
What he said about not dwelling on the past and learning from our experiences struck as I've seemed to build my identity on being a victim and labeled "mentally ill". But no more. I now see things in a different light. I wish he would write a book because I believe I can learn a lot more from him even though I'm 15 years his senior.
Agreed I thought OK LA former child actor..... affected. But he is funny, articulate, self deprecating. I like him.
I loved hearing Cole speak and share what he’s learned from his experiences. He’s so articulate his resilience is beautiful. One thing I’d push gently back on as both a licensed therapist and someone who experienced abuse by a parent. Expressing and sitting with the pain of what happen is very strong and what ultimately lets us move forward. Many people who had to grow up too fast can tend to dismiss pain as weakness. It’s often how we had to survive, so it’s very understandable. However if we never allow ourselves to express and experience that that pain and grief, it can tend to show up in unconscious ways. Allowing ourselves to be “victims” sometimes can be healthy and healing. Obviously there is nuance and variation, but often I think people are afraid that they will get stuck in a “victim” mentality. In reality if we never allow ourselves to really sit in the pain it can hold back our grieving and show up in negative ways. I love that he is focusing on growth and his future, but allowing yourself time to grieve and sit in the feelings of the past also demonstrates strength!
It's incredible because even thought i am not a therapist (just someone who went through depression) I thought the same thing. Mostly.
So well said! Couldn’t agree more 😊♥️
Also there are situations that teach people bad lessons. Not all experience will shape people for the better.
Honey he’s had an entire lifetime to heal, leave it alone(I understand what you’re saying but ultimately it’s his choice)
@@steph8030593 I don't think we're telling cole to do anything ? Lol he chooses to interpret things based on his experience, like everyone else.
We're saying we think there's more nuance in this. I'm allowed to believe this as well has he's allowed to believe what he believes. I don't think all lessons are learned from trauma..I agree trauma can teach you lessons, but In some cases I don't think you need it like he states. Trauma can have a mainly negative effect, not always positive. That's what I'm saying. I'm not telling HIM specifically to choose otherwise. Lol I'm stating my beliefs.
53 year old woman here completely in awe of the self awareness, emotional maturity, and vulnerability you both possess. Bravo!!!
“You trade trauma for wisdom.” Such a great episode. 🙏🏻😎
I loved that part too. I literally nodded when he said it 😂😊
@@gemrawnsley haha, me too. ☺️
That really resonated with me. I damn near cried when he said that.
It's beautiful how he focused on his triumph over his past pain. A beautiful mindset and a beautiful way to get over trauma
Totally have to walk over the hot coals alone. The only way to heal IMHO
I loved Cole's point when he said that you cannot control the enviornment even if you put everything in place, it might not go the exact way you want it to because it takes 2 people to dance. Then you need to accept that, blood or not. It's beyond insightful! He is great. I love hearing more of Cole's life. Thank you for having him on. Because of this clip, I have subscribed!!!
What he says about not disrupting the child like mindset he had at a young age and not putting human mindsets onto a child… wow. Literally a life changing statement. I love that
Cole Sprouse......what a beautiful soul. A humble, empathetic, intelligent, caring young man. A rare gem in this world.
"we trade trauma for wisdom".. so true, thank you, Cole!
This sentence is so empowering! Cos most of us achnowledge that we've been traumatised, but feel trapped in that knowledge, constantly revisiting, or reliving that pain, but to think of it as wisdom, and a triomf over it and through it in life, is a positive outlook and empowering outlook!
Major respect for any celebrity who admits they have a narcissistic parent! I feel you, Cole.
More respect if he acknowledges both parents:) Think about the biology - it takes TWO to make one child.
@@clarifyingquestionshe did lol. He spoke about his dad at the beginning and compared the parenting styles
@@weesh4645 indeed dad had custody forced on him and mom not able to be a single parent. Sucks to be a kid with no parents but at least he has talent and a work ethic and like he said well off financially - not fair but has to re parent himself and go be awesome in the world.
@@clarifyingquestions exactly. Many poor people go through the same things but he knows he is lucky to have the finances to help him.
@@clarifyingquestions Well just because one parent is a narcissist doesn't mean that they both are. Also NPD isn't hereditary but narcissistic "traits" and "tendencies" can be passed down if that makes sense. Most of cases are a result of severe trauma before age 6. I've done a lot of research on the topic bc my mom has NPD.
I didn’t even intend to watch this bc it was so long so I went to skip through it and just got hooked. He really is intelligent and introspective, and I like to think he’s being honest here. I definitely empathize w the growth mindset and am so happy for him that he’s pulled through w it
I think it's apparent that the father has done a beautiful job raising the twins, and raised them with the right attitude.
Loved this conversation . "We all look for soul in other people. We wanna know soul exists..we want to justify our soul , by looking for soul in other people and when you find people with soul you want to hang on to people with soul. That is what we do.. .you know..." Great quote from Cole...
Love this. SO TURE
He’s soooo articulate and his views on trauma, experiences, vulnerability and victimization ring true! He’s grown into an exceptional young man. I wish him all the best. ❤
Watching this after a year, and it's so refreshing to see someone who speaks so eloquently. This is why I've always liked Cole.
Love that he talks about not being a victim of our pain. Focus on growth. Many people would never guess my trauma because I haven’t stayed stuck in the pain. I grew and became stronger.
I love this interview. Especially how Cole spoke about pain and wisdom. He is relatable, down to earth, and is just grounded. He is straight forward, but does it in a way that is corky yet inviting. Cole has a gift of getting to the gut of things. He can bless others through his words. Great interview.
“Corky”? Did you mean “quirky”?
So interesting to watch this. Cole is only a couple years older than me, I feel like I grew up watching his career. As a kid, we used to be SO jealous of the Disney kids, dreaming that we could have our own Suite Life. It's wild to hear that the grass wasn't much greener for Cole
Very refreshing to see someone talk about struggles so candidly.
Cole has had the best spiritual awakening. You can see the light and the dark but he’s truly trying to make that light brighter. I’m 40 and still haven’t had the full awakening but I can clearly view it in him.
That’s a beautiful take on him.
Yesssssss !!! This is nice to see a celeb with a similar journey/ mindset
Perfectly said👏👏
"They don't talk about the strength that is the byproduct of the pain"
So true! No one deserves the bad things that happen to them, but you can either continue in the mindset that you're a victim or grow from it and overcome.
That guy is incredibly articulate. It’s impressive. He seems like he’s spent quite a bit of time in therapy. My father suffered from narcissism. It’s an incredibly difficult thing to process and set aside in one’s life.
One of the best Interviewer i have seen right here. Well respectful and polite without cutting into the conversion.
Subbed for that reason!
I LOVED his response to the "for better or for worse" response... no, it's always for the better. His response of "we trade trauma for wisdom". I will never forget that.
Except that is not really true. Trauma actually changes the brain. No one should welcome trauma and think it leads to wisdom. It takes a lot of work and help to retrain the brain and lots of therapy to move forward and be able to move forward. Mistakes that one makes may lead to better choices later which could be viewed as wisdom. However, true trauma is not something anyone should be elated about.
“I will still choose to care, I will still choose to love”
Amen to that.
This episode is like a brain massage, two intelligent individuals, having a meaningful conversation. Brilliant!