How Do I Stop Feeling Lonely? | Rupert Spira

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  • Опубликовано: 6 сен 2024

Комментарии • 91

  • @gonzo8450
    @gonzo8450 4 года назад +38

    The more difficult an emotion is, the more love and understanding is needed. I often lay in my bed trying to be with with feeling of loneliness. The feeling is so uncomfortable that welcoming this feeling was fueled with an intention to remove it. We have to be gentle and compassionate with ourselves.

    • @squamish4244
      @squamish4244 Год назад +5

      It is a brutal feeling, second only to existential anguish to me in difficulty. So I turn on my brainwave entrainment device and lie with the feeling of loneliness and separation. At the same time, I keep in mind that part of this is just my body wanting a partner. So I don't deny that feeling either, because it is part of being human and isn't going anywhere. So I keep this balancing act between feeling the horrible loneliness of 18 years of celibacy and also the genuine and healthy desire for another person.

    • @gonzo8450
      @gonzo8450 Год назад +1

      ​@@squamish4244finding a partner is not going to resolve this feeling in the end... I am currently going through a breakup and the feeling is coming in full force. The differences now , is that I try not to entertain the story as before. Because I am realizing throughout the years that I am not my thoughts and the less time I spend with them the lighter I feel. It's getting easier because I know a little more what to let go.

    • @squamish4244
      @squamish4244 Год назад +3

      @@gonzo8450 There is existential loneliness, and there is human loneliness, and at the most basic non-dual level, they are the same thing. But only at the very, totally, utterly basic level, and most of us, not even fairly advanced teachers, are there. Shinzen Young was married, Jack Kornfield is married, Adyashanti is married, and a lot of Buddhist lamas and Zen teachers are married or with partners. It's important to recognize that we are both human and divine and to deny our humanity is dualistic.

    • @antonlarm8178
      @antonlarm8178 Год назад +3

      ​@@squamish4244 We are "supposed" to feel lonely, at a human level (if we are alone). It is this loneliness that makes us pursue intimate relationships and friendships. The best thing would be to accept this human loneliness and understand why it is present and its purpose. If we did not have this emotional signal, we would not break our isolation. I view this loneliness as an informing signal of love.

    • @squamish4244
      @squamish4244 Год назад

      @@antonlarm8178Indeed.

  • @sunnychic7414
    @sunnychic7414 5 лет назад +42

    Ha! Yes the RUclips clips. That’s what I’m on right now! Trying to get away from this knot in my stomach

    • @yaelvandiest7601
      @yaelvandiest7601 4 года назад +2

      Wow i have that too! What to do about it??

    • @gonzo8450
      @gonzo8450 4 года назад +7

      I like when rupert said in one video, awareness already accept what you are feeling. The fact you are feeling it means it's valid. We need to validate our experience or we will constantly think we are doing something wrong. I am sometimes cursing to myself : Why theses feelings won't go away?

    • @kumarshubham876
      @kumarshubham876 3 года назад +1

      I just felt the sentence!

    • @LIMITSDESTROYED
      @LIMITSDESTROYED 2 года назад +2

      @@kumarshubham876 You are Everywhere 😂❣️

    • @alisonsalter8352
      @alisonsalter8352 2 года назад

      @@LIMITSDESTROYED me too im on the youtube clips at 2:30am avoiding going to sleep...why do i avoid going to sleep???

  • @kylalazaruk2870
    @kylalazaruk2870 8 лет назад +57

    crying while watching.. this is the real deal

  • @lindaj71
    @lindaj71 Год назад +8

    I have a mood disorder and have had days where death seemed preferable to being me: the horrendous past, the doubtful future, and all the fears and loneliness. I do understand the idea of allowing the feelings with thoughts and stories aside. That repression intensifies the pain in the mind-body. Not that it’s easy. I’m sure I will always struggle because my neurotransmitters are unbalanced. Don’t give up.

    • @Risingphoenixx66
      @Risingphoenixx66 Год назад +4

      You,re not alone in this Linda. I myself struggled with chronic depression for more than 30 years after a life changing disease,PTSD, abusive marriage and now at 57 i lost both my parents who were my save haven, my partner and my beloved dog. How to carry on on your own, it,s horrible to look at past traumatic events, and an insecure future. It,s good to ventilate sometimes, i send you a big hug from Europe❤

    • @adunnou2075
      @adunnou2075 Год назад

      Read breaking the habit of being yourself

    • @squamish4244
      @squamish4244 Год назад +2

      Neuroscience is making a lot of breakthrough findings that will radically change the spiritual path in the future - and already now. The psychedelic resurgence, neurofeedback, direct brain stimulation - all of these have enormous potential to radically accelerate our progress. I myself work with healers, have used neurofeedback and gotten ketamine therapy at a clinic and have benefitted a great deal from all of these.
      What Rupert Spira and other teachers like him are not clear enough about is that they are essentially spiritual savants, those rare people who woke up fairly easily, without the gruelling effort that characterizes most traditional paths. And even a lot of people on the traditional paths fail. All of this is quietly swept under the rug by the traditions but the success rate is miserable, like 1 or 2% of people actually wake up. Spira, Adyashanti, Tolle and others are in that group, and they don't seem to be aware of it, or don't communicate it to the rest of us. We are not like them, and their advice only works if we supercharge it with modern methods.
      As the Dalai Lama said at a neuroscience conference in 2005: _"If it was possible to become free of negative emotions by a riskless implementation of an electrode - without impairing intelligence and the critical mind - I would be the first patient."_

    • @FaYT02
      @FaYT02 11 месяцев назад

      @@squamish4244 "And even a lot of people on the traditional paths fail."
      This is illusion. Those people don't fail. They strive on the path, and they are where they are according to the karma. On the path, no one is ever in a failure: whatever state we are in, it is always Consciousness (and not you or they) that experiences itself through Lila.

    • @squamish4244
      @squamish4244 11 месяцев назад

      @@FaYT02 The point is that they are still suffering.
      We have to make all this stuff accessible to the average person with whatever means possible (as Buddhism says), or our civilization will probably destroy itself. It's crunch time, right now, and we've got to bring enlightenment down from the mountain and give it to the masses.

  • @IlGattonero13
    @IlGattonero13 6 лет назад +16

    "The dissolution of these feelings will be a byproduct of that understanding, not a goal." Succinct and illuminating. Thank you.

  • @sngscratcher
    @sngscratcher 10 лет назад +14

    I think the reason I resist stillness is simple laziness or inertia. I have already examined my negative feelings so much that they don't really affect me negatively upon reflection. But it takes real effort for me to maintain my focus while meditating because my mind keeps wandering. Then I have to refocus, again and again and again and again.
    So it's easier to just listen to Rupert and others rather than face the battle of refocusing over and over again. But the good news is that once I reach the trance state, then there's no need to consciously maintain my focus because it just stays there on its own. Just got to keep working at it, I guess, in order to learn how to get there faster.
    I have a feeling other people may be running into this same problem. All the best!

    • @brianlittrell797
      @brianlittrell797 2 года назад +2

      What does the trance state feel like? Is it still hard for you to maintain your focus 8 years later? Also isn't resting as awareness NOT about focusing at all?

    • @yvettetorres7829
      @yvettetorres7829 Год назад

      @@Puuws agree, it’s just that stillness, presence and living from this state consciously and continuously takes practice and I believe Infinite Grace

  • @beyethedoor
    @beyethedoor 10 лет назад +35

    Wonderful, how these videos are changing the thoughts and beliefs, and creating more awareness of what is.

  • @ShunyamNiketana
    @ShunyamNiketana 8 лет назад +13

    You can't reduce all sensations to the same intensity or significance. Loneliness certainly can mean longing for some kind of connection, but we are social creatures, and one reason these satsangs and Q&A sessions at retreats work is that people are physically together interacting in a very intimate way. We feel better and call it spiritual, but much of that "high" has to do with the presence of others, especially others with a high intention. Personal story can be responsible for that pain, but lying awake at 4:00 a.m. is a special realm for the self, with four million years of evolution bearing on the experience. The overlay of story can make things worse, of course, but there's a reason we feel so much better after the sun has risen and we have had a chat and a warm chai at the local cafe.

    • @santiagooviedo5411
      @santiagooviedo5411 7 лет назад +7

      Andrew C. I bet to disagree. Yes, we tend to feel awful when we're alone because we were wired up this way, so of course we have this tendency of the mind to feel this longing to connect, to express ourselves. But it's still true in subjective experience that you can be alone, and at ease with yourself in the midst of whatever experience you may have. So, yes. We have this tendency, which is really reasonable if you look up for how it's that we were brought up to the present era in the evolutionary process, it might be true or have some good biological basis to feel the way you've described. But at the level of the experience , quite independent of all this, you could be at ease even when those criteria of companionship, and social connectedness, etc aren't met. Sorry for my English. Bless

    • @santiagooviedo5411
      @santiagooviedo5411 7 лет назад

      Andrew C. I misread you. Yes, maybe it's true that we don't tend to feel those sensation, at least all in the same way, for neurological reasons. Loneliness and the fight or flee response in our system I bet that fires up more intense that say boredom, or as Rupert said touching the microphone.

    • @squamish4244
      @squamish4244 Год назад +1

      Yes and no. The most advanced people never feel lonely no matter the external circumstances. For the rest of us, that millions of years of evolution does make itself known and we really, really want a warm body beside us. But you can have it both ways. You can conquer your existential anguish but still desire someone at a human level. I work very hard on my existential issues, and my human loneliness, but I am under no illusions that I will conquer the human loneliness. At least not without the kind of effort that is sort of perverse, the 'trying' to be not-human. But if for some unforeseen reason I am denied companionship in this life, it will really suck, but it will be okay, too.

  • @robertleslie5741
    @robertleslie5741 11 месяцев назад

    The pure and genuine is clearly present in the Spirit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. If there is one playground where we can experience lasting friendships with ourselves and others, it is in the qualities of the Spirit.

  • @inesbudihaci9907
    @inesbudihaci9907 4 года назад +3

    Very powerful and clear overview on the ME feelings hidden in the body.
    I find Ellen Emmets (Ruperts wife)body contemplations extremely helpful on this topic,you actually get to feel the transparency and lightness of the body.Also,her expression of kindness and love permeates beautifuly this body knowing sessions.

  • @montelo555
    @montelo555 Год назад +1

    Robert truly nails it.

    • @BrockLanders
      @BrockLanders 9 месяцев назад +1

      Big Rob certainly did nail it on this one 👍

  • @RogerDrayton
    @RogerDrayton 10 лет назад +5

    WoW...The 'rewiring' of thoughts/sensations to being much more pliable. The releasing of a contractive/dense feeling to 'feel like the wind' sort of speaking or returning to a natural reality of 'not-two'.

  • @cshortridge1
    @cshortridge1 10 лет назад +1

    Yes! This has been my experience. Now I have to make an effort to contract whereas even 2 months ago I was making the effort to expand. Lol. I was brushing my teeth this morning completely expanded then I had to bring myself back to walk out of the bathroom. I merely decided to put my attention on my teeth while brushing...& `fell` into Unity Consciousness. How wonderful!

    • @fuldagermany
      @fuldagermany 10 лет назад +1

      I totally got what you said cause I had a similar experience not too long ago and also while brushing my teeth with my eyes closed ... it was surreal and very quick. Funny and strange that is.

    • @squamish4244
      @squamish4244 Год назад

      Nice problem to have. Never had an experience of unity consciousness in 16 years of very hard work and the best help one could find. And all the 'letting go' in the world.

  • @integralsun
    @integralsun Год назад

    Whenever resting the mind-body organism will take the opportunity to release stored stress (emotional, physical, etc.). As those stored emotional stresses unwind, there will often be a sensation in the body along with a mood/feeling. The mind can not have a mood on an abstract basis so it fabricates a story to explain the feeling it’s experiencing. If the sensation is strong in the body the instruction is to allow awareness to gently go to the sensation (rather than with the story). The sensation will lessen as the stored impression is released. This approach saves the psychology of the meditator and hastens the release of the stress. It’s important not to go around feeling sensations all the time in the body as it has the effect of dulling the mind. This instruction is to be applied for strong sensations only.

  • @tarzanzeldaandibukionthetr7999

    totally understand, me too here is a tool that I use
    go back to the " is" which means I, and S , I stands for investigate, for example who is the I feeling this feeling, and go deeper into the I, and investigate the I and S, is for surrender, give forth to what is.
    The IS works Its the tool that I use

  • @mohamedladhaladha7997
    @mohamedladhaladha7997 6 лет назад +16

    Being alone is our true nature.Thats when god's presence is felt.

    • @zain4019
      @zain4019 4 года назад +6

      It’s about balance. Both solitude and community are important for us.

    • @AmyStar-yh6bn
      @AmyStar-yh6bn Год назад

      True. I only felt God's presence in times of loneliness and pain.

  • @davidpitton1491
    @davidpitton1491 10 лет назад +2

    But are positive feelings also a way for the separate self to "hide"? Is it possible to feel good without a "story" of us?

  • @ThePrimaryAxiom
    @ThePrimaryAxiom 9 лет назад +11

    There's a difference between loneliness and being alone. This guy is alone but not lonely.

    • @noone3216
      @noone3216 Год назад

      I know I'm late to the party, but yes you're right. The difference between "alone" and "lonely" is the same as the difference between "broke" and "poor". The former is a situation, the latter is a state of mind.

  • @hawkkim1974
    @hawkkim1974 5 лет назад +10

    It’s all mind issue. Being doesn’t have anything like loneliness. Person created by mind feels lonely, not you.

  • @angiek7614
    @angiek7614 2 года назад

    This is complete awesomeness and beauty and has helped my understanding sooo much! Nameste

  • @malabuha
    @malabuha 7 лет назад +1

    i think i'm getting it now:) everything physical belongs into the physical realm except the mind and emotion... those two participate from a different sphere of matter and it is the mind that needs to find its place and ways to cope with limitations and phenomena that occur in the physical, not to mention that it needs to understand its own assumptions of identity on all spheres, that creates confusion and even so called suffering.. how very interesting... the reality, the Reality is totally different than the mind assumes... it is the same but so different... and much much simpler that in fact makes perfect sense and is obvious.. wow... i was addressing the mind from the third person singular when i should have address it from the first.. so cool.. i dont think the mind can project the phyical sphere but... hell... i dont know that yet..

  • @mspattycakes1954
    @mspattycakes1954 Год назад

    Absolutely brilliant

  • @shinons
    @shinons 4 месяца назад

    It is like the desire beeing an Embryo again instead of expanding

  • @eliort404
    @eliort404 6 лет назад +5

    Im not sure if i agree. I had a experience of invading pain some time ago. It was constant!!,, it lasted 6 weeks of feeling it. I was with those feelings, tryed to feel all i could. I thought i would dye and never recover. I had to look for help with medication.its fucking cinical to say that we should be with those feelings. And nothing changed. They didnt go away, they still here. And i dont have a mental disorder. Fucking irresponsible to give those ideas to people who suffer. This should be done in steps with proffessional help

    • @araakin
      @araakin Год назад

      It'a obvious just by reading this that you hold massive resistance to feeling it. You never stayed fully present with it, you did it with an unconscious intention to change it and make it go away but you're not even aware of it.
      "Professional help" and "medication" is literal poison to numb you and let you escape. Now that is an irresponsible idea.

  • @luisalbelda67
    @luisalbelda67 5 лет назад

    Thank you!

  • @matthewking7874
    @matthewking7874 5 лет назад

    this guy is awesome

  • @fuldagermany
    @fuldagermany 10 лет назад +8

    Could it be that the Self ... Consciousness ... creates life because it is all one ... alone ... lonely and has the desire to create in order to experience and to experience something called the other. It must be intentional, or else it would not be. Could it be that there are more than the one consciousness and that they each have their own areas of creation ... do we really know? And even more confusing is why is there a hide and seek of what is considered the Self/I Am and the separate self?

    • @fuldagermany
      @fuldagermany 10 лет назад +3

      ***** I have gotten to a point that only what I experience directly is real and all else is pretty much hearsay. I am referring to the deep questions of reality and a whole lot of other areas of life. I am open to learning and to keeping an open mind. Perchance, what we believe becomes our reality, and that we may not even realize that is going on. I experiment with concepts and see if I am able to utilize them; for example, I tell myself that if I am, indeed, the whole shabang, consciousness, at core, then I should be able to create changes in my life (as a body/mind, person, soul, what have you) and, if that is so, then I accept total well being, total abundance in all good things, expressing an end to all suffering for all sentient life (something I heard via Buddhist/Tibet prayer) ... testing the water, so to speak. I do my best to grasp Rupert Spira's teaching (via a true realization). I feel that the point in the search for that reality creates a shift in one's life in a very huge way. I would really like to hear more about that. Personally, I feel that if one gets to a place of divine (for lack of a better word) love morally, soul felt and engages in the world from that place, that the world would be the paradise I envision. It would, pretty much, have to include all sentient life .... big dreamer. I sincerely hope we find our answers and sooner than later. Much luck to you.

    • @cshortridge1
      @cshortridge1 10 лет назад +2

      Minahh I admire your seeking prowess!! I have been through all the things that you are speaking of here. And you are having Oneness experiences as you explained to me in our other conversation, so it it obvious that you are on the right track. However, too many concepts can muck up the works.....The only way to really Know what you are seeking to Know is to quiet the mind & abide as much as possible in the Heart.I could only do this during meditation for a long time, then a `something` happened (or not....Lol) & I found that I could easily "connect" with All That Is anytime I remembered. So then I started remembering more & more often & now I am Abiding MOST of the time....except in some `stressful` situations I will find myself in forgetfulness. As to your question about Consciousness, the answer is yes. Everything is Consciousness, or Oneness or God or Nature or whatever you want to call it, but the Oneness has Infinite pieces of itself that it utilizes to bring about separation in order to know Itself. Then we have the constant yearning to come back to Source which is at the crux of our existential angst. But most of us do not understand this. Understanding this is the first step to Realization of that Oneness. Once you understand that, it`s just a matter of "time". It can`t not happen!!

    • @fuldagermany
      @fuldagermany 10 лет назад +1

      Cheryl Shortridge I appreciate you and your response. Happy to trails to us and when we get to the campfire, how about us roasting some marshmallows? I get a huge feeling of goodness from reading your comments. Thank you, I hope you don't mind my silly sense of humor coming out ... sometimes certain experiences in our lives make some wonderful imprints ... and campfire and marshmallows are good feelings too.

    • @cshortridge1
      @cshortridge1 10 лет назад

      Lol. Minahh there is never anything wrong with having a silly sense of humor. I think more people should explore that part of themselves. And campfires, as we all know, totally ROCK!! If that is your `happy place` then Be there as often as you can!! We shall roast marshmallows until we get tired enough to sleep!! : )

    • @fuldagermany
      @fuldagermany 9 лет назад +1

      I wish I had some marshmallows right now. Wish you a lovely and happy holiday season. Cheery bye.

  • @backedtothemax
    @backedtothemax 3 года назад

    He says disinterested contemplation of the body. Is there a video of that?

  • @gerardgrimardia3274
    @gerardgrimardia3274 6 лет назад

    7:20: = alone in the middle of the night.

  • @claudelebel49
    @claudelebel49 3 года назад

    It says if I were pinching myself. Stop pinching.

  • @abutterflybreeze790
    @abutterflybreeze790 9 лет назад +1

    Buenisima!

  • @Risingphoenixx66
    @Risingphoenixx66 Год назад

    I appreciate you very much but it does,nt resonate with me. I lost all my loved ones in a short amount of time, including my beloved dog, and i can,t get over the horrible pain of never see a familiar face again in my life. It,s empty and i feel lost. I guess you have to experience this yo understand someone , it sure us more intense then the sensation of a hand on a microphone, can,t talk myself out of this. 😢

  • @marcellusdelemos736
    @marcellusdelemos736 7 лет назад +1

    Allow and understanding the feeling, understand what?

  • @MariaElena51185
    @MariaElena51185 7 лет назад

    What is the meditation that goes with this talk? Thanks.

  • @ellemeno0
    @ellemeno0 3 года назад

    Is the process they reference available online?

  • @lottieloukb
    @lottieloukb 10 лет назад

    Your all that rupert

  • @krishnafantastic3111
    @krishnafantastic3111 6 лет назад

    Excellence

  • @chimenerf
    @chimenerf 5 лет назад

    I really have mercy that i gave life to my kids. This struggle. And we dont know all this i am almost sixty. I didnt know. I hate btw that i dont understand what rupert says i am to stupid

    • @gigigarcia3691
      @gigigarcia3691 Год назад +1

      It’s way deep and difficult to grasp when there’s so much pain. Keep listening until a small thing is understood.

  • @DiSanto84
    @DiSanto84 5 лет назад

    ❤❤❤

  • @peterdewar9763
    @peterdewar9763 10 лет назад +1

    Great shame.....could hardly hear it....

  • @jixie_93
    @jixie_93 2 года назад +1

    It's NOT a subtle feeling at all. Lonliness actually clutches this throat for literally hours to the point that I quite literally want to kill myself. I can't breathe...there is no ME here, only pain...I think perhaps he has NEVER experienced any strong emotions that make you want to die...

    • @JessMaccain
      @JessMaccain 2 года назад +5

      I hear you. When you are actually socialising, are you able to be authentic and just be yourself (not trying to present an image to the outside world)? That's my tip for dealing with loneliness. Opportunities for socialising are rare for me especially during Covid -- whenever those opportunities do arise, I present myself as I am at the moment. At night I still feel loneliness, to the point that I don't want to go to sleep -- but it's not too intense as I've been able to release the tension during daily socialising (ie. the temptation of being inauthentic). I did experience suicidal feelings before (exactly as you described), so intense that I want to kill myself. I ended up getting up and did some colouring with soothing music in the background -- I did it for two hours and the feeling went away. That two hours also gave me the courage to not give a fuck to what other people say (which is the source of my sorrowness), as I felt more connected to myself during the process.

  • @peterdewar9763
    @peterdewar9763 10 лет назад

    Great shame.....could hardly hear it....